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  • Classic DYAC: Strong Password

    Damn You Auto Correct!
    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Submitted by Amber The post Classic DYAC: Strong Password appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • No bunnies died for this picture

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:00 am
    Today is Thursday, which is good because this week I’ve been swamped with a combination of editing on the book and insanely strange emotions I blame on the moon.  But since it’s Thursday I can just throw an old picture up here and it counts as a post because it’s Throwback Thursday.  Yay for laziness! This is Hailey on her first Easter.  They didn’t have cute etsy hats nine years ago so I had to make my own.  I made it by buying a stuffed animal and scalping it and tying it to her head.  This is what we did in the old days before everyone learned to knit and it…
  • Can Men and Women be Friends Survey

    CollegeHumor: Videos
    19 Apr 2014 | 9:00 am
    The short answer is no and the long, incorrect answer is yes.
  • Short Story Template by Peter Kispert

    McSweeney’s
    18 Apr 2014 | 4:01 am
    [Beginning in media res in mother’s house.][Sufficiently dramatic exposition with an obvious, planted echo to the story’s climax.][Flashback serving to illuminate character that could have been filtered through the present action.][Unsatisfying cliffhanger.][Disorienting scene break.][Re-introduction to protagonist’s mother.][Quirky habit of mind revealed.][Sudden realization that protagonist’s father is to blame for much of the present narrative.][Jarring shift to present action.][Jarring shift back to flashback.][Second disorienting scene break.][Broken vase.][Flash forward to an…
  • Slideshow: The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014

    The Onion
    19 Apr 2014 | 10:00 am
    The Week In Sports – Week Of April 19, 2014
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    The Bloggess

  • No bunnies died for this picture

    thebloggess
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:00 am
    Today is Thursday, which is good because this week I’ve been swamped with a combination of editing on the book and insanely strange emotions I blame on the moon.  But since it’s Thursday I can just throw an old picture up here and it counts as a post because it’s Throwback Thursday.  Yay for laziness! This is Hailey on her first Easter.  They didn’t have cute etsy hats nine years ago so I had to make my own.  I made it by buying a stuffed animal and scalping it and tying it to her head.  This is what we did in the old days before everyone learned to knit and it…
  • I need your help to solve assholism and get my Nobel Prize

    thebloggess
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:19 am
    me:  Things aren’t going right for me. Victor:  How do you mean? me:  I can’t make things with words work. Victor:  Could you be more vague? me:  My thing with the words in it isn’t working right. Victor:  Your…head? me:  Sort of.  The creative part that makes words fit together properly.  There’s probably a word for it.  I’d probably know what it was if my head wasn’t broken right now. Victor:  Your head is always broken. me:  Yes, but most of the time that works in my favor.  Right now everything is cloudy and I’m exhausted and I…
  • Playing in the swamp

    thebloggess
    10 Apr 2014 | 9:59 am
    If you’ve read here long enough you’ve probably seen Brooke Shaden‘s work because it’s the strange, whimsical and macabre photography that goes so well with some of my darker writing. She’s magic. And today she’s coming to Texas so she can photograph me in a swamp.  It’s possible I’ll be eaten by alligators, but – in fairness – that’s probably a really fascinating way to die, and knowing Brooke she’ll probably get some awesomely disturbing  photos out of it.  I give you full permission to look at any death photos…
  • Not a real post, but still awesome

    thebloggess
    8 Apr 2014 | 8:57 am
    Hi.  This isn’t a real post but I’m posting it anyway and so I think that makes it a real post.  Unless you’re epileptic, in which case you need to leave now.  It’s for your own good.  Come back tomorrow when I write about something less likely to make you fall down. Okay, see the video above?  Open it to full screen and stare at the center of the video for the full minute that it plays.  Then immediately look at your hand.  Then bring your friends over to watch it and when it ends say “Never mind the video.  What is wrong with your hand?”  Then…
  • Watermelon is the secret code word

    thebloggess
    6 Apr 2014 | 11:06 am
    Whenever I’m at large events and I’m asked to write my name on those “HELLO, MY NAME IS” stickers I instead write “Watermelon is the secret code word.”  Most people just look at me like I’m off and avoid me.  Some people (usually the ones in large, boisterous groups) loudly yell “Secret code word for what?” and I just say “I have no idea what you’re talking about” and walk away.  But a few people (usually the same people hiding in corners, or drinking so they have something to do with their hands) will hesitantly come…
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • Classic DYAC: Strong Password

    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Submitted by Amber The post Classic DYAC: Strong Password appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Classic DYAC: WWJD? THIS.

    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Submitted by Janelle The post Classic DYAC: WWJD? THIS. appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Classic DYAC: Just Checking

    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:32 pm
    I still can’t figure out why anyone would ask someone if they lost a shoelace… Submitted by Olive The post Classic DYAC: Just Checking appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • The Catholics Aren’t Gonna Like This

    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 10:00 am
    Submitted by Kelly The post The Catholics Aren’t Gonna Like This appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Classic DYAC: Easter For Adults-Only

    Lyndsey
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:20 am
    Submitted by Chad The post Classic DYAC: Easter For Adults-Only appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • Short Story Template by Peter Kispert

    18 Apr 2014 | 4:01 am
    [Beginning in media res in mother’s house.][Sufficiently dramatic exposition with an obvious, planted echo to the story’s climax.][Flashback serving to illuminate character that could have been filtered through the present action.][Unsatisfying cliffhanger.][Disorienting scene break.][Re-introduction to protagonist’s mother.][Quirky habit of mind revealed.][Sudden realization that protagonist’s father is to blame for much of the present narrative.][Jarring shift to present action.][Jarring shift back to flashback.][Second disorienting scene break.][Broken vase.][Flash forward to an…
  • Monologue: The Holy Spirit Reacts to Jesus Sitting At the Right Hand of The Father by Conor James McKeon

    18 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
    I don’t believe this.Now, obviously “nepotism” isn’t an accusation one just throws without reason, but when a person ascends to Heaven and is given everlasting dominion and glory and kingdom on their first day, well, what else are you supposed to call that? Monarchical theocracy?Please. Spare me.Of course, it’s not like I’m surprised. I’ve always been treated like the Holy Trinity’s version of myrrh. You don’t bless yourself in the name of “The Father, The Holy Spirit, and The Son.” And yes, I realize having me at the end works better…
  • Putting the Biscuit in the Basket: A Review of Go for the Goal by Mia Hamm. by Miles Wray

    18 Apr 2014 | 3:59 am
    - -Under Review: Go for the Goal: A Champion’s Guide to Winning in Soccer and Life by Mia Hamm with Aaron Heifetz (HarperCollins, 1999, 222 pages)- -The curious reader would notice, if they were to scroll through this column’s archive, that every Self-Help Book by a Professional Athlete thus far reviewed has been written by an athlete who was born and lives within the mighty, star-spangled boundaries of these U.S. of A. And this review is no exception, as Mia Hamm played exclusively for the United States Women’s National Soccer Team as well as the Women’s United Soccer Association’s…
  • Reviews of New Food by Various New Food Tasters

    18 Apr 2014 | 3:51 am
    Twix and Snickers EggsSubmitted by Amy BarnesIn the religious/candy section of Dollar General (a full three months before Easter), I found the holy grail of long shelf life Easter candy. Nestled in a cheap display basket, Twix Eggs and Snickers Eggs flanked leftover clearance Christmas candy canes as some near-heretical cashier joke. Like Mary Magdalene looking for Last Supper party favors, I scooped up two of each.It was to be only a cruel joke. Each Egg set me back $.85 and only offered half the size of a non-themed Twix or Snickers. These were obviously cult candy bars luring me in with a…
  • Your Mother’s and My Divorce Explained Through This Awesome Infographic by Aboubacar Ndiaye

    17 Apr 2014 | 4:01 am
    Jake, son, have a seat. As you know, your mom and I have been having problems lately, and I’m sorry to say we’re splitting up. This change will be really hard, but to make it easier to understand I’ve designed a beautifully intuitive infographic.Maybe you thought your mom and I were just going through a rough patch but, as I explain in this embedded flash video, after I met Janine there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship. Here, you can click through to see her Instagram profile. I think you’ll be proud of me, Jake!To help you through this transition, I’ve made the…
 
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    ABlog the Author

  • Now that my mother has been moved into long-term care, the dossier she has kept since my childhood has been turned over to me....

    20 Apr 2014 | 10:18 am
    Here are a couple of photos from the Harvard-Colgate football game, October, 1977…. The author, wearing a too-small Arlington High School hockey tam I got from a postgraduate I went to Deerfield with, Gerry Ciarcia, who was a good enough hockey player to play for Team Italy in the in 1984 Olympics. I loved the tam because it was the same color crimson as Harvard. The author with fellow Crimson sportswriter Rob Sidorsky, who became a v-successful lawyer in NYC, wrote and edited a few beautiful coffee table books on golf and lives in the same building across the hall from one of my…
  • Belated obit for Otto Petersen....

    19 Apr 2014 | 8:22 am
    ….the brilliant brilliant mind behind Otto and George, who died earlier this week in his sleep. He had contracted meningitis a year ago and never completely shook free from that. Here’s the deal with Otto. He was, by his own admission or any yardstick, a terrible ventriloquist. His lips never stopped moving. Even his dummy would give him shit. But the stuff Otto launched through George’s mouth was sheer unexpurgated fearlessness. The best kind of filth. The stuff that cleans out your insides. Nobody, I mean nobody, got the kind of helpless laughs that Otto got from an…
  • February 15, 2007 — My 50th birthday!

    19 Apr 2014 | 7:31 am
    February 15, 2007 — My 50th birthday!
  • Once again, did somebody say poster???

    18 Apr 2014 | 6:25 am
    We have a new lead guitar player for this gig, John Merjave, who is George in the otherworldly Beatle tribute band, Liverpool. And yes, I am utterly intimidated….
  • Not only that....

    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Barnes and Noble liked the new cover of SHRINK THYSELF so much, they’re putting it on the front display table when it comes out. Like I have to tell you, I haven’t been at a front table since my bar-mitzvah….
 
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    Cracked: All Posts

  • 5 Things I Learned as an Anonymous TSA Blogger

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Jason Edward Harrington  Published: April 20th, 2014  From 2007 to 2013, I patted down people's crotches to put food on the table. Yeah, I know. I worked for everyone's favorite post-9/11 security agency, the Transportation Security Administration. I was also a humor writer that entire time, contributin
  • The Worst Transformer Ever

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Picnic face  Published: April 20th, 2014 
  • 23 Famous Games Made Horrifying With Better Graphics

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: April 20th, 2014  A lot of video games these days are striving to be as realistic as possible. But what happens when you apply that same concept when updating older games? As you'll see, the results are terrifying. We asked our readers to show us the realistic version
  • The 4 Strangest Things Nobody Tells You About Life in China

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz,Michael Pearce  Published: April 20th, 2014  You love kung pao chicken and Jackie Chan, and now, with so many jobs supposedly going to China, it's time to pack your bags, hop on a plane, and go live where you truly belong. Surely this hasty adventure based on ill-informed stereotypes will pan o
  • 5 Slapstick Failures by Modern Military Commanders

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Jacopo della Quercia,Alex Hanton,Xavier Jackson,Kyle Stevens  Published: April 20th, 2014  There are certain jobs in the world where you just assume that the people doing them are competent: It's hard to imagine a drunken, pantsless brain surgeon or astronaut. Considering that it takes longer to become a military general than either of tho
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    Predator Press

  • What the Fuck is a "Rampart," and Why are we Watching Them Again?

    Michael Wolfe
    18 Apr 2014 | 3:08 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "RDO has recalled me," says Sapphire, sadly. "Oh bullshit," I says. "He wouldn't do that. I love you." "You fired me out of a spaceship, crashed that spaceship into me, let me nearly burn up in Earth's atmosphere as I fell, destroyed my homeworld, ruined my credit ..." "Oh come on" I says. "Where I come from, that's called courting. RDO is a short-sighted moron." "He told me you would say that." Okay, fine. I'm officially depressed now. And need solid, clinical advice. "Before you go, do you happen to know Jenny McCarthy's phone number?"Sapphire smiles."I have her on…
  • Red Wedding

    Michael Wolfe
    13 Apr 2014 | 6:23 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] My tires screamed in agony against the parking lot asphalt. The warehouse of the media distributor I've worked at for two years was on fire. An alarm blared. I noticed other cars in the parking lot, and this tells me there are co-workers inside. I grabbed my codekey and tried the door against hope. If the electricity is out, I would have to plow my car –my beloved 1990 Plymouth Horizon, fully equipped with optional AM radio and brakes on all tires- through a weak wall thirty feet to my right. But the codekey fucking worked. Thick black smoke billowed out, and I…
  • Rejoining the Primordial Ooze

    Michael Wolfe
    20 Mar 2014 | 7:01 pm
     Predator Press   [LOBO] Today was exactly the same as any other day. Shaved, showered, teeth brushed, car warmed up [via remote start], and a full commuter cup of steaming coffee. But it was sixty degrees -the highest temperature since October, I think- when I hit that same crowded intersection at 7:37am. But there was no one there. I will start my new job in ten minutes. A bluebird slipped in, and sang to me from my shoulder. A rainbow seems to follow my car as I close the distance. See, "Pornographic Materials" in my company means anything containing sexual content.
  • Slippery Plastic

    Michael Wolfe
    18 Mar 2014 | 5:58 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "You gotta be kidding," I says.  "My first raise in two years, and you offer me this?" "It's the best we can do," Lars Arson, the Receiving Department Manager insists.  "Most employees got nothing at all." "I've been working sixty-hour weeks for six months.  And in the third worst winter in Chicago history, I drove through horizontal-blowing subzero blizzards -replete with lightning and thunder- to get here on time," I says, thumping my finger on his desk.  "They got nothing?  Good!  When I drag your ass out onto there and…
  • Future LOBOnian-American Diplomatic Relations in Question

    Michael Wolfe
    15 Mar 2014 | 9:40 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] I remember "coming to" vaguely. -A balding man, typing with one finger, is asking me questions I am answering on autopilot.  He fills out forms -replete with scan-friendly magnetic bar codes- in handwritten immaculate print as he examines my birth certificate.  On the counter in front of me is my two-inch thick manila folder containing my identity.  A tattered copy of the current Scientific American -which I pretend to read intensely when I think I will have time to kill in public- is pushed aside in cramped space. The hands…
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • Links! The Quiet Radicalism of All That, Money-Saving Easter Tips and More!

    FOD Link Dump
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:19 pm
    Links! The Quiet Radicalism of All Th... Help yourself to a hearty sampling of this week's best links. Submitted by: FOD Link Dump Regular Keywords: links funny links best of the week best links team coco uproxx above average the occasional the onion splitsider the atlantic games lol all that tv art art history dating women sex community easter comedy movie sequels Views: 5,796
  • 21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week

    best GOAT
    17 Apr 2014 | 2:26 pm
    21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week You might want to get out of the way, because here come this week's best GIFs. Submitted by: best GOAT Immortal Keywords: funny pics funny pics lol gifs funny gifs best of the week best gifs lol gifs animals train kick dog texting combined gifs kids celebrities dancing sports ufc baby gifs cute gifs wtf Views: 165,405
  • The Pope's Guide to Celebrating Easter on 4/20

    zpoitras
    17 Apr 2014 | 11:43 am
    The Pope's Guide to Celebrating Easte... The Pope loves Easter and he loves 4/20. Let him give you the pointers you need to have fun on this double special day. Submitted by: zpoitras Regular Keywords: pope francis comedy fun bob marley stoner 4/20 four twenty easter holiday sunday tips Views: 13,604
  • EASTAH DINNAH

    Dude Take Dude
    17 Apr 2014 | 11:31 am
    EASTAH DINNAH 1:50 Get in the Cah!!! Submitted by: Dude Take Dude Regular Keywords: Easter Eastah Bunny Eggs Cah family comedy Pam Murphy Timothy Brennan Kat Palardy Jamie Hoggson hilarious so true Views: 27,629
  • Coachella: 14 Possible Surprises for Week 2

    Pat O'Brien
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:52 am
    Coachella: 14 Possible Surprises for ... The first week of Coachella was full of surprises. Here's how they can up the ante for week 2. Submitted by: Pat O'Brien Regular Keywords: coachella outkast beyonce coachella 2014 coachella lineup coachella week 2 pharrell happy arcade fire tupac hologram big boi andre 3000 Views: 7,325
 
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    America

  • Need Plumbing Help? Use This Great Info!

    admin
    26 Mar 2014 | 1:44 am
    Many people say that doing your own plumbing is very difficult. With the right approach and information, it will be easy to do the work yourself. This article has many plumbing tips to help you finish your project. Obnoxiously loud pipes that like to squeal and hammer are easy situations to correct. Those pipes will need to be anchored if they are exposed. Pipes that are contained within the floors, walls and ceilings may need to be attended by a professional plumber. If you have a frozen pipe, turn on the nearest faucet so the water has an escape route when the pipe starts to thaw. This…
  • Have A Lock That Is Stuck? These Locksmith Tips Can Help!

    admin
    25 Mar 2014 | 1:46 am
    There are a lot of different reasons why people hire locksmiths. Whatever your reason to get one, just know that you should use the advice below to help you out. You will find this advice handy if you are in need of a professional to assist in your security needs. Cover up all of your locks before you begin painting. If you paint over the key hole and seal it, the key won’t fit in and you’ll need to contact a locksmith. The time spent covering locks will save you a ton of money over hiring a locksmith to fix them. Always be prepared to hire a locksmith. Research before you need…
  • Need A Locksmith? Read On For Some Handy Tips!

    admin
    25 Mar 2014 | 1:22 am
    Locksmiths can be extremely valuable at times, though you may not know how to locate one when you need one. You never want to wait until you’re in the middle of a locksmith emergency. This article has some great suggestions to help you find a reputable locksmith to handle your emergencies. Cover locks before you paint a door. If you do it wrong, a locksmith will have to be called in. This may take time, but it will be worth it in the end. Even if you hope to never use a locksmith, it’s better to be ready. Research locksmiths before you have need for them, and you will have a…
  • Handle All Your Own Locksmithing Needs With This Advice

    admin
    24 Mar 2014 | 8:24 am
    Would you like to do the work yourself rather than hire a professional? Think about your car, boat, home, and other values that must be secured. Is it really worth risking it? If not then you can use the tips in this article so you can get the services of a great locksmith. If you lock yourself out of the house, ignore locksmiths who want to replace the lock upfront. A well-qualified locksmith should have the ability to open almost all doors without needing to replace the entire lock. If you switch out the lock, a simple job could turn into an expensive one. When you paint your house, make…
 
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    Jokes - jokes4all.net!

  • Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns ...

    20 Apr 2014 | 9:59 pm
    Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze.While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"The first lawyer replies, "It's the $100 I owe you."
  • What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:59 pm
    What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
  • "Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls!" ...

    20 Apr 2014 | 1:59 pm
    "Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls!""Shut up and get back in the barrel!"
  • What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

    20 Apr 2014 | 9:59 am
    What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?Artificial intelligence.
  • Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to ...

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:59 am
    Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew. They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains new to the route. This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ..."Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions.""British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven.""Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven.""British Airways…
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • You Can’t Outdo Black People: Presidential Easter Edition

    Luvvie
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:00 am
    Happy Resurrection Sunday, Saints and Aints! God is good ALLATAHM and ALLATAHM God is good! Yes! I love Easter, because we get to give Jesus extra praise. But also because it is a day for us to show out everywhere with fashion. It’s like the fresher we are, the closer we are to Him. And Black folks? Well, we step out with a mission to slay people within a 5 mile radius. The First Couple wasn’t playing with none of us on this Holy Sunday when they stepped out of the White House looking like right. I love it. Yessss Commander-in-Chief of FRESH! President Obama and First Lady…
  • The Price of Free and Fair Election: Scandal Season 3 Finale Recap

    Luvvie
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:12 pm
    Let’s just get into the finale of Scandal season 3. In the Beginning – There’s 15 minutes left before the bomb goes off and people are still at the church waiting on the President, who’s at the White House practicing his speech for Cyrus (who is stalling). Jake calls the Chief of Staff’s phone and is ignored. Olivia is with Papa Pope as he’s being wheeled into the emergency room, blood everywhere. Adnan is elsewhere pointing a gun to Harrison’s head as Mama Pope waits outside the church watching to see if the President shows up. Jake barges into the Oval Office and says…
  • Something’s On Jermaine Jackson’s Scalp and It’s a Mystery

    Luvvie
    16 Apr 2014 | 7:37 pm
    Jermaine Jackson has somehow turned out to be the oddest man in a family of really talented weird people and that is no small feat. Besides all the foolery he partakes in, like changing his last name to Jacksun (O__O) and being stuck in Africa because of his lack of child support payment, the dude has been walking around with hair paint for years. He was on Celebrity Wife Swap the other day and folks were treated to this visual: WHAT IS THIS, JERMAJESTY’S DADDY?? Jermaine cut off the growth on a chia pet, dipped it in tar and glued it on his scalp like TADA! I’m so unable. I…
  • Dear Winter, You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome. Please Go.

    Luvvie
    16 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    I’m cold. You’re cold. We’re all cold. The word “cold” is freezing. But it’s Spring and this is ri-damb-diculous. Where is security??? Winter needs to be escorted out since it doesn’t want to leave on its own free will. This is why I am here with this sternly-worded letter. I am advocating for warmth. Dear Winter, I am tired. I have no more fight left in me. My spirit is weak and my UGG boots are spoiled. I DON TIRE O! All I have to give you is my dignity but I think you took that in January when I had to put on 3 pairs of pants, 4 pairs of socks, 2…
  • Mimi Faust Lost But the Shower Rod Won

    Luvvie
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:37 pm
    Sometimes, I wonder why people don’t wanna win life, business and the pursuit of their happiness. Today, TMZ announced that a sex tape starring Mimi Faust of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta infamy would be released by Vivid Entertainment. It stars Mimi and her boyfriend, Nikko Smith, who resembles the sloth from Ice Age – but that’s neither here nor there. I’m just petty so I had to point it out. Seriously, they’re twins. Mimi is already known for the being Chairman of the Board of Team Bad Decisions Corp. because of her volatile relationship with the father of her daughter, Stevie J.
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • Frozen Banana Ice Cream

    Brittany
    20 Apr 2014 | 1:14 pm
    Why on Earth was I so late on the uptake with this? Bananas? Good. Ice cream? Good. Banana Ice Cream? Cheaper than other ice cream. So apparently, you can make ice cream out of bananas. Just bananas, nothing added. They do this weird thing that when you blend them, they turn into creamy ice cream. My mind was blown. Science is amazing. The kids and I made some with one of their dairy-free classmates, and we’ve been hooked ever since. Also, it’s so easy, a kid could do it, if you happen to let your kid play with blenders with super sharp blades, which I obviously do. NOW GET IN…
  • A Couple Days in Chinatown

    Brittany
    18 Apr 2014 | 6:10 am
    My book is due today, and writing it has been mentally consuming. I’m sorry I have been absent, but I wanted to take a second to update you on where I’ve been, because it’s been a pretty amazing month. First up, a peek at what I did while I was in New York City last week… I ate a human hand in Chinatown. I think it was a human hand. Definitely a knuckle. It was hard to tell, there was a lot of sauce. The moral of the story is, if you go for Dim Sum at 8am, don’t let the little old man you are seated with order for you. Especially if he doesn’t speak…
  • Camp Throwback Small Business LOVE Sponsorship

    Brittany
    4 Apr 2014 | 6:15 am
    What is Camp Throwback Camp Throwback FAQ’s Camp Throwback Schedule & Program Announcements Attention small business owners! If you are interested in giving yourself the Camp Throwback sponsor treatment, have I got some news for you! I am itching to show my Small Business LOVE, so I’m opening up $100 Small Business Love Sponsorships! For $100 you can get YOUR small business in the Camp Throwback Programs, Camp Throwback Sponsorship Board as well as linked to in the Camp Throwback section of BrittanyHerself.com! If you are intested, drop me an email: campthrowback@gmail.com ©…
  • The Max & Ruby Finale

    Brittany
    1 Apr 2014 | 8:10 am
    Sometimes when I am stuck watching mind-numbing cartoons with my kids, I daydream about all the ways I’d fix them. I’d dress up like Mark Cuban and demand to see the Imagination Movers profit numbers. I’d burn Caillou’s house down as they slept… kidding. Here is how I imagine the finale of Max & Ruby. It takes place the day Max turns 18, gets sick of Ruby’s bossy shit, and peaces out, Half-Baked style. Up next, Dora & Diego do Flowers in the Attic. © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or…
  • Dear Andy While You Sleep

    Brittany
    20 Mar 2014 | 5:54 am
    Monday I rolled over in bed to come face to face with my little doll-faced cherub. I am keenly aware of the imaginary clock ticking above our heads, and our time of morning time girl snuggles are fleeting. I touched my finger to her warm little nose and she opened her heavy eyes, smiled softly, and then vomited directly into my open mouth, hair and pillow. I can never eat Sweet & Sour Chicken again. That’s a lie, but I can assure you it will be a while. An hour later Andy called, he’d lost a co-worker unexpectedly and it jarred him. I don’t handle death or emotions well,…
 
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    AmyOops

  • Enters My Mother's Day Contest

    11 May 2014 | 5:02 am
     Rules:  Go to my store Rings N Things and register. Updated: 4 Winners will be chosen to win a bracelet, earrings, or necklace from Rings N...
  • celebwhodunit....

    20 Apr 2014 | 4:22 am
    This B list mostly television actress who was on a network comedy this season spent the last two months of filming not speaking to the former A+ list mostly movie actor who was her co-star....
  • magical kid

    20 Apr 2014 | 4:05 am
  • the best dog shame

    20 Apr 2014 | 4:05 am
  • Easter oops

    20 Apr 2014 | 3:59 am
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    Jennifers Review

  • Love Coffee? Love Chicago? Go To CoffeeCon!

    Jennifer Stinnett
    6 Apr 2014 | 7:11 am
    Excited to see that CoffeeCon will once again be making it’s 3rd appearance this year! Not only are they making another year of it, but they have extended the show to 3 new locations this year. The first location kicks off in Chicago on April 12th at the Zhou B Art Center. The other shows will take place later in the year in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York! What is CoffeeCon and do I have to dress up as my favorite coffee? Nope … this “con” is all about the coffee bean (or cherry); from the farmer to the roaster to the barista who puts it in your cup! You think…
  • Balsamic Glazes add Sophisticated Sweet and Sour Yum Yum to Your Cooking Life

    Alyson Khan
    25 Mar 2014 | 2:59 pm
    Having a bottle or two of this magic in your kitchen could be the real game changer. Balsamic glaze is a syrupy reduction of balsamic vinegar that offers superbly delicious, sweet and tangy flavor options to foods ranging from appetizers to desserts. Gourmet Italian’s product line of balsamic glazes include tongue tempters such as fig, blood orange, lemon, sun-dried tomato, strawberry, truffle, cinnamon, and many more.   Also known as balsamic syrup and balsamic reduction, it is the result of heating balsamic vinegar to reduce the product to a syrupy consistency. It leaves the flavors…
  • Reasons To Drink Wine: Video #1001

    Jennifer Stinnett
    21 Mar 2014 | 3:16 pm
    There are so many reasons to drink wine … the appreciation, the winery, the agricultural achievements, the wine making process, the generations of the process and the list is endlessly long. To that end, I decided to try a little different approach as to reasons why you should or need to drink wine. After all – you’re here on Jennifer’s Review, you’re not exactly looking for cultural wine achievements …. So to start off this new venture – I’d like to start sharing “Reasons To Drink Wine” and feature some videos that will clearly give…
  • New wine aerator promises lifetime satisfaction

    Alyson Khan
    20 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Folks, how many of you wait for your wine to open up properly before indulging? It really does make the wine taste better. But as you know, it takes time and…hmm…well what to do? Enter the NEW VinLuxe Wine Aerator by Andre Lorent Lifestyles that will get your wine breathing in seconds! Whether you are at home or on the road cruising wineries or picnicking or grocery shopping or whatever, you don’t have to wait anymore for that vino to peak in your glass!!! It’s sleek, it’s beautiful and comes with its own soft-sided black travel bag. AND if you are not 100% satisfied with the…
  • Sparkling Wine Sunday – Flor Prosecco Sparkling Wine!

    Jennifer Stinnett
    16 Mar 2014 | 11:34 am
    Ah, Sunday … the day of relaxation and family. In my house … it’s always a great time to try a little sparkle on! In my case … my sparkle is served chilled and in some great crystal glasses! Today’s sparkling wine was full of “sparkle”! Serafina Flor Prosecco di Valdobbiadene From Italy NV Imported by Dark Star Imports This is the first time I was a little teased with a sparkling wine. At first sip, you’ll think “dry” … and the next second, you’ll think “sweet”! It’s still a more dry than anywhere near…
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    Nanny Goats in Panties

  • And Now There’s a Cloud in the Cloud

    Margaret
    31 Mar 2014 | 7:09 pm
    You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m doing here when I am up to my eyeballs in goose livers, but my housemate and I decided to take a break from all the poultry guts and celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary per our usual tradition of running off to the casino and spending the night. And with past annual visits resulting in power outages and thievery, we thought, what could possibly happen this time? And so it was I’m yanking the one arm bandit’s chain when my phone vibrates urgently at me to tell me about a tornado warning and severe thunderstorms IN MY AREA…
  • Choosing Baby Names for Asphalt

    Margaret
    28 Feb 2014 | 11:40 am
    Call me a small stuff sweater. Because I can totally sweat the small stuff when I am of the mind. Take street names, for example. Here in Sacramento, after it ran out of letters to name the streets in this town, and before it got so suburb-happy, somebody came along and named a bunch of major streets in one area as follows: Edison Ave., Watt Ave., Howe Ave., Fulton Ave., Northrup Ave., Arden Way, Bell Ave., Morse Ave., Whitney Ave., Marconi Ave., etc… Great. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s got a nice theme and I can dance to it. However, when some bozo in a cubicle is…
  • Crock Pots, and Other Reasons for Living

    Margaret
    19 Feb 2014 | 11:44 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 19: Tastes Like Chicken How have I lived, lo these many years, without the knowledge and power of the wonder that is the slow cooker, the almighty Crock Pot? I have fought and fought and fought some more with various protein animal products with less than zero success and ultimately limited my repertoire because most meat comes out hard and dry and yucky and blecky and other similar adjectives and I figured I just didn’t have the knack for it and recently came to realize you all have been cheating. Consider yourselves on my poop list. And never have…
  • Goat Thing: Goats Take Olympic Silver!….Ribbon.

    Margaret
    18 Feb 2014 | 11:03 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 18: Liars I could write a whole book about liars and how much I hate them. But then you’d be reading a very heavy tome filled with the ugly that came out of me and you’d question my ability to return from the hate abyss. You’d think of me as a hater. I’d be a big wart-nosed hater. And then you’d hate me. And you’d spray paint “hater” all over my fence even though YOU are doing it out of hate as well. And the hate would spread and infect the rest of the planet until everyone hated everybody and there would…
  • Goat Thing of the Day: A New Video Game

    Margaret
    13 Feb 2014 | 11:17 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 12: Incommunicado I’ve got a treat for those of you who have been clamoring for a Goat Thing of the Day. I know! It’s been so long! Some game developers were goofing around during a game jam and…what, you don’t know what a game jam is? Are you kidding me? I can’t believe you don’t know what a game jam is. Who doesn’t know what a game jam is. Honestly. I swear, what am I going to do with you people. OK, take this down: a game jam…obviously…is when neighborhood computer programming kids rob local…
 
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pirate Therapy

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Apr 2014 | 12:30 pm
    Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a blood-curdling scream, and then a thump. A … Continue reading →
  • Lucinda at the Laundrette of Shattered Hope

    Mark A. Rayner
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:32 am
    Lucinda was a dreamer. Someday, she knew that her Mom would return with the waffle iron and say she was sorry; perhaps even share her delicious recipe for Translucent Liquid Essence of Bran. She watched as Betsy came back to … Continue reading →
  • Ask General Kang: If my foreign policy is a failure, do I have to admit it?

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Apr 2014 | 6:51 am
    Hell no! If you can’t blame the failures of your policy on some flunky (or opposition party, if you’re unlucky enough to be ruling in a “democracy”) then what kind of leader are you? The best option is to say … Continue reading →
  • Death by gluten

    Mark A. Rayner
    2 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Alltop is chewy with humor.
 
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • Pasta Dreams (Limerick)

    madkane
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:35 pm
    Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta. Pasta Dreams (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane My husband’s excitement is rising. His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising. Cuz Passover week Is soon ending its streak; Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
  • Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)

    madkane
    17 Apr 2014 | 2:05 pm
    Happy “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day!” Yes there’s really such a day, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t what they’re talking about: Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane A man with a habit of peeping Into homes while their owners are sleeping Was arrested and tried. His appeal’s been denied. Now he’s jailed for his neighbors’ safekeeping.
  • An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick)

    madkane
    15 Apr 2014 | 11:43 am
    An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane Last night, I kept searching the skies For that promised “blood moon,” but my eyes Were betrayed by the pall Cast by clouds — a thick wall, Which cut my dream view down to size.
  • Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)

    madkane
    15 Apr 2014 | 10:31 am
    Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread And refuse to munch matzo instead. I spurn rules all the time, Except canons of rhyme And of meter … so don’t be misled.
  • Passover Verse

    madkane
    14 Apr 2014 | 1:04 pm
    May your seder be lovely, A holiday treat. May it not be too late Till you finally eat. Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!
 
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    iambossy.com

  • Ten Word Tuesday: The Dream Analysis Edition

    BOSSY
    8 Apr 2014 | 4:49 pm
    Bossy is going to tell you about her dream because people love when you do that. Okay. It took place last night. In the dream, Bossy got a puppy. But not just any puppy, it was a cross between a daddy longlegs spider and a stick figure drawn by an embryo: Bossy soon realized that although her puppy seemed to have the constitution of a blouse fiber, it did in fact need the typical puppy things, such as food and water and relieving itself out of doors: At first Bossy seemed to be meeting the challenges of her new docile puppy, who Bossy flanked during its daily routines, hoping the wind…
  • A Very Bossy Tutorial: April Fools’ Day

    BOSSY
    1 Apr 2014 | 7:18 pm
    Hello, and welcome to four-one-one-four! But you can call it Sister Mercy April is finally here. Unlike the first of every other month, April 1st marks the day we tell children the world is canceling summer. This is known as April Fools’ Day! April Fools’ Day goes back to the ancient Romans, who celebrated the Spring equinox with a religious festival they named Hilaria. Marking the end of winter’s gloom, the Hilaria festival featured the usual ancient Roman amusements, such as walking the length of the village crumbling under the weight of the Goddess statue you’re…
  • Bossy’s Ban On Ban Bossy

    BOSSY
    10 Mar 2014 | 5:48 pm
    As some of you may have heard because a Ban Bossy avalanche fell on your Monday morning, Sheryl Sandberg launched a campaign to murder a word. If you don’t know Sheryl Sandberg because you’re buried under an avalanche, here’s a brief tutorial: she was always at the top of her class, graduating from college with the highest distinction. She served as Chief of Staff for the Treasury and then Vice President of Operations at Google where she initiated the site’s philanthropic arm. Now she serves as the Chief Operating Officer of a little online project that rhymes with…
  • Valentine’s Day Alternatives

    BOSSY
    14 Feb 2014 | 7:03 am
    Oh good, it’s Valentine’s Day again, because you know how much the Undivorced enjoy celebrating the holidays of romance. Except the truth is Bossy never saw the appeal. While it’s true Valentine’s Day affords a chocolate-eating opportunity, it’s also the day we celebrate Cupid’s arrow through the heart and — is it Bossy — that’s just ow. Bossy never understood why Valentine’s Day gained in popularity given all of the other widely-known events worthy of celebration that took place on February 14th. Shall we? Happy Apple Parer Patent…
  • The Girl’s Guide To Super Bowl XLVIII

    BOSSY
    2 Feb 2014 | 10:57 am
    Hello and welcome to The Girl’s Guide to Super Bowl XLVIII. The first thing you should know is the X means 10 and the L means 50 and the V means 5 and III means 3 and put them all together and it EQUALS 68! Which is not the number associated with this Super Bowl, but rather 48! See how easy this is so far? The two teams competing are the Seattle Ospreys Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. The Seattle Ospreys Seahawks are named for fish-eating birds of prey while the Denver Broncos are named for Ford’s Sport Utility vehicle. You will be able to keep track of which team is which…
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for May 11, 2014

    10 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 21, 2014

    20 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 20, 2014

    19 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 19, 2014

    18 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 18, 2014

    17 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
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    CAP News

  • Newsbreakers: Lucas Earls, Obesity Videographer

    18 Apr 2014 | 5:37 am
    MEMPHIS, Tenn. (CAP) - You may not know his name. You may not recognize his face. But if you've seen a story on the news about overweight Americans, then you've certainly seen his work. Lucas Earls is an obesity videographer, and he films all the fat people for news stories about fat people. "I just kinda stumbled into it, actually," Earls said in an exclusive sit-down interview with CAP News. "I was filming a piece on inner city rodents for WNEM back in Saginaw when I found myself zooming in all the large men and women walking down the street. It was like a car accident; I couldn't look…
  • God Laying Off 200 Million To Ease Overcrowding

    15 Apr 2014 | 6:57 am
    ROME, Italy (CAP) - In the wake of population booms, the world's most popular deity has announced plans aimed at helping to ease overcrowding on Earth. According to His spokesperson at the Vatican, the Creator in which we're all endowed will conduct a series of layoffs that will ultimately total about 200 million people. "In light of a struggling global economy and oversubscription to a finite amount of natural resources, God has deemed it necessary to take these draconian measures," Pope Francis I said on God's behalf. "As humans, we must work together in the spirit of shared responsibility…
  • Interplanetary Coalition To Shut Down Saturn

    10 Apr 2014 | 6:52 am
    ATLANTA (CAP) - The Atlanta-based Interplanetary Coalition of Celestial Bodies has announced plans to shut down the planet Saturn by this time next year. Close to 2,500 astronomers are expected to be out of a job at that time. "We feel the decision to close Saturn is in the best interests of the solar system," said ICCB President Donald Zimmerman. "By closing the one planet, we feel we can avoid any sort of reduction in force with regard to the other planets." A recent study published by the ICCB cited the dwindling numbers of astronomers and a continued decrease in interest in astronomy over…
  • Image Of Courtney Love Seen On Highway Overpass

    7 Apr 2014 | 6:25 am
    POTTAWATTAMIE COUNTY, Iowa (CAP) - On a long stretch of highway east of Omaha, Neb., trucker Rhett Ingram pulled over his rig and hopped out so he could stretch his legs. And what he saw was a stretch for his imagination. "So I'm shaking hands with the president and I look up and there she is," Ingram told CAP News, "staring down at me like I just stole her stash or something." It didn't take long for the word to spread about Courtney Love's image on that Route 6 overpass, and soon crowds were reaching the double-digits. Employees at Penny's Diner even reported having to put on a second pot…
  • New York Mafia Lowers Lending Rate To 200%

    4 Apr 2014 | 7:33 am
    NEW YORK (CAP) - In a move that could help reduce operating costs from shake downs yet maintain maximum profitability from outstanding vigs, the New York crime family syndicate is easing credit requirements on shylock loans made to businesses and individuals throughout the five burroughs and parts of New Jersey. "The Commission is refining the approach we take to provide valuable protection services to our constituency throughout the greater New York area," Vittorio Amuso, reputed boss of the Lucchese family, said in a prepared statement. "Fewer broken knee caps reduces medical expenses,…
 
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    Jokes2Go Daily Humor

  • Today's Poem

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Mary had a little sheep, And with the sheep she went to sleep, The sheep turned out to be a ram, Now Mary has a little lamb.
  • Today's Joke

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog's fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening the Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish, within reason, before meeting his ultimate fate the the following morning. The cowboy tells the chief that his last request is to see his faithful dog, Rex. When the dog is brought by the Indians the cowboy strokes and pets…
  • Today's Story

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J., in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.
  • Today's Quote

    20 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me." Woody Allen.
 
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    Karmaloop Coupons - Promo Codes, Rep Codes, Discount Codes for Karmalooop.com

  • Jeffrey Campbell

    blogger
    15 Apr 2014 | 6:10 am
    Brand History Jeffrey Campbell is a popular footwear fashion empire established in 2000 by designer, Jeffrey Campbell. Jeffrey, who is known for his fashion forward, edgy contemporary designs with a classic edge sealed his footwear label as one of the most loved by fashion mavens after introducing its now-iconic Lita boots. The boot design is a perfect example of contemporary and classic design complementing each other. Replicated by many but never quite perfected, the Lita boots has reach iconic status with a cult following. , Jeffrey’s passion for designing shoes is reflected on every…
  • Jack by BB Dakota

    blogger
    12 Apr 2014 | 8:38 am
    Brand History Jack by BB Dakota is the younger, crazier sister to the BB Dakota clothing brand, which was established by Gloria Brandes in 2005. Meant for the younger, more fashion-forward demographic, Jack by BB Dakota offers high drama fashion for women who love bold, sultry looks. Gloria, together with her daughter, Katharine, works together to develop deliciously edgy, striking dresses and tops based in both contemporary and classic designs. Jack by BB Dakota apparel is available in selected stores including online at Karmaloop.com.  Contemporary Clothing With Rebellious Edge What sets…
  • Golden Denim

    blogger
    5 Apr 2014 | 6:52 am
    Brand History Golden Denim is a Los Angeles denim wear brand established under the Golden Lifestyle brand in 2009. With the aim to raise the standard in denim wear, Golden Denim offers couture denim jeans for men and women. No other denim wear brands are as committed to delivering authenticity, quality and style as much as Golden Denim clothing. Featuring a mix of contemporary and classic aesthetics, Golden Denim has everything from classic straight cut, skinny to relaxed fit denims. All Golden Denim jeans are proudly made and manufactured in its LA HQ. The brand guarantees that no part of…
  • Gold Saturn

    blogger
    1 Apr 2014 | 8:15 am
    Brand History Gold Saturn is Miami indie fashion and accessories label established by designer, David Jon Acosta in 2008. David, who is a style prodigy, has always dreamed of one day developing his own designs in his own designer label. Growing up, he was drawn to funky 70s and 80s fashion and his Key West excursions as a kid is are elements that fuel the designs for his clothing brand, Gold Saturn. Featuring spirited designs, fresh designs with a bit of vintage vibe; Gold Saturn specializes in luxe turbans but has since expanded its product line to include contemporary clothing, accessories…
  • Entree

    blogger
    29 Mar 2014 | 12:33 am
    Brand History Entree is a New York shirt brand established in 2006 by a couple of guys who loved t-shirts so much, they feel everyone should have access to awesome shirts too. These guys went off the grain as far ad design is concerned. Rather than replicating designs from others, they handcraft everything using quality inks. Their silkscreened and hand-painted shirts were sold from their parent’s truck until they were able to build a customer base. A year later, the Entree co-founders were frequenting tradeshows until they got so many orders, they actually ran out of funds to create more…
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    Buffet o' Blog

  • funny pictures, episode 17

    Buffet o' Blog
    25 Mar 2014 | 1:35 pm
    It’s been a while since I’ve posted funny pictures, so it’s way overdue.  Plus, the first one has relevance based on current world events, if you’ve heard about Russia’s “takeover” of Crimea (part of the Ukraine).  Then there’s the usual randomness. That’s a unique perspective on Russia’s position these days… They’re right… I don’t understand. Anyone care to explain? That is actually a great idea! Granted, most people would cancel their membership instead, but the concept is great… in theory.
  • Einstein, ACME, and science

    Buffet o' Blog
    20 Jan 2014 | 1:26 pm
    A while back I read an article about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), and it had a few statistics that seem somewhat embellished to me.  Now, I’m no scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  And because of the anonymity of the Internet, I could be the smartest person in the room (as far you know).  Whether any of that is factual or not is largely irrelevant to this discussion, because we’re going to have fun with it.  Let’s get started, shall we? Winding the solenoid coil of the CMS [Compact Muon Solenoid] took five years to complete. When it is fully…
  • Why would you say that?!?

    Buffet o' Blog
    9 Jan 2014 | 7:03 am
    I was recently visiting the in-laws around Christmas, and the conversation took an unexpected turn.  One person was telling a story they heard on the local news about a couple who were burning trash outside their house but went inside, leaving the fire unattended, and their house caught on fire.  That’s a tragic story, but they learned some “common sense” the hard way.  Anyway, there’s no need to rant on that, since the moral of the story is quite obvious. After that part of the story, an older country woman said, somewhat agitatedly, “Why were they burning…
  • famous car chase in shopping mall recreated

    Buffet o' Blog
    10 Dec 2013 | 6:00 am
    If you start with a car chase scene inside a shopping mall (which sounds awesome), and it features the Blues Brothers (which makes it definitely awesome), then recreate the original classic movie clip with stop-motion video using LEGO blocks, you have a YouTube video worth watching. At the end of the video, they link to a side-by-side comparison of the original scene in the movie, so you can see how close they got to it. An interesting trivia tidbit about the mall chase scene is that it was actually filmed inside a mall.  There was no CGI trickery going on — it was 1980, after all…
  • when words aren’t enough…

    Buffet o' Blog
    15 Nov 2013 | 2:21 pm
    When words aren’t enough… Say it with bacon!  If only this would work with women… but in reality, it would likely result in disasterousness (which may not be an actual word, but it would be bad).  Ironically, this would impress guys.  A girl could give cooked bacon to a guy and he would think she must really like him.  (Who ever said men and women are the same?  Maybe someone should write a book similar to “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” but include a chapter about food.  Men can relate to that, and would be more interested in reading the book. …
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    DeadRooster.com

  • Dear Mr. Blog Spammer…

    William McCamment
    27 Mar 2014 | 1:35 pm
    Dear Mr. Blog Spammer, Today you put in a lot of time and effort leaving your droppings all over my blog. I hope it didn’t take too long because none of them will ever see the light of day, not even for a split second. Here’s why: I approve ALL comments on this blog before they are viewable to the public. Also, it’s super easy to tell when someone is just trying to get links back to their site, especially when they put a link right there in the comment. You’ve got a lot to learn about blog spamming. Shoot… you’re probably going to get banned from leaving…
  • Be on the Lookout for Anthropomorphic Boogers

    William McCamment
    19 Jul 2011 | 4:41 am
    Me writing fiction on-the-fly circa. 1989 I know what you’re thinking: Hey, William, your writing skills are superior to that of most lower forms of primate, maybe even moderately-trained chimpanzees, so why don’t you try to write a novel? The answer is simple: I suck at writing fiction. Believe me, I’ve tried. In fact, I recently found a whole box of manuscripts I wrote over the past 25-years; almost all of it fiction and almost all of it horrible. Let me give you an example of just how bad it is by reporting the actual reaction of someone who just finished reading one of…
  • I Took the ProBlogger 7 Link Challenge

    William McCamment
    19 Jul 2010 | 4:07 am
    A couple days ago, Darren Rowse over at ProBlogger offered up this 7 Link Challenge. The object is to link to 7 posts that fit into these 7 themes. Here are mine: 1. Your First Post — Dead Rooster Takes Flight. This is it — the one that started it all! It was my very first blog post on this site. I never thought anyone ever read it until almost 2-years after I wrote it when someone finally left the first comment. 2. A Post You Enjoyed Writing the Most — Dead Rooster Survives Bug Attack on Universal Mummy Coaster. This post, according to my readers, is BY FAR the funniest…
  • Internet Explorer 6 is Dead–They Had a Funeral and Everything…

    William McCamment
    5 Mar 2010 | 1:17 pm
    It’s true! The scourge of all web developers has died and gone to the fiery furnace where it belongs. If you are using IE6, be aware that you are floating down river on the bones of a dead browser. IE6 has caused so many headaches for me over the years that about a year ago I simply quit worrying whether or not my blog loaded in it or not. If you are using IE6, you are definitely not seeing this blog as it was meant to be viewed. I have no idea what you’re seeing — like I said — I haven’t tested for IE6 in a long time. And, it’s not only me, there are…
 
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • A wife of noble character…does all the dishes?

    Kerry
    16 Apr 2014 | 1:06 pm
    Writes Julia, a student at an evangelical university in Indiana: “In our graduate student offices, there are more crusty dishes and microbial communities to be found than in the labs next door. After four weeks of mugs, oatmeal bowls and lunch containers had built up, one lad took the most effective course of action and posted this encouraging note for us single ladies to know what it takes to catch ourselves a guy just like him.” related: Life at a Christian college
  • You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

    Kerry
    14 Apr 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over? related: A bitter butter battle
  • The nicest possible way

    Kerry
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:51 am
    Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with? I mean, this guy even said please. (Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)   related: Ice Box-ing
  • No, not the stink eye!

    Kerry
    3 Apr 2014 | 7:39 pm
    Writes our submitter in Leeds: “I enjoy the fact that a second piece of paper had to be added to express the full rage of this (presumably wet-footed) person.” related: Lift or Loo?
  • Pity the fool

    Kerry
    2 Apr 2014 | 2:37 pm
    Writes our submitter in Santa Rosa, CA: “Our office is full of people who like to take the last of the coffee and not take the time to brew a new pot. And not just on April Fool’s Day.” related: Coffee pot flowchart
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    Guyism » Humor

  • This could be the most ridiculous cat video in the illustrious history of internet cat videos

    Paul Sacca
    20 Apr 2014 | 8:28 am
    The internet was made for Russian dashcam videos, babies laughing videos and cat videos. And this may be the most internety cat video of all-time. Here is a cat fishing for… wait for it… cats! In all of the ways of fishing for pussy, this is probably the most literal.
  • Haunted insane asylum, naughty words, sexy FS1 ladies and more

    Douglas Charles
    19 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Good stuff from around the Web to help you through the rest of the weekend. Justene Jaro is an Instagram Must-Follow Haunted Travel: Illinois’ Haunted Insane Asylum Cute Girls Tell Funny Stories About Pooping 13 Words That Sound Naughty But Actually Aren’t 99 Sexy Amateur “Models” Showing It Off (NSFWish) Lingerie Should Be Worn Everyday For Better Sex, Lower Your Cholesterol 16 Acts of Bad Sportsmanship 6 Weirdest Things You Can Rent When You Travel These 90s Video Game Ads are So Bad…Yet So Fly [40 Photos] Playboy Babe Amy Lee (NSFWish) 7 Ways to Celebrate 4/20 on…
  • Skater kid gets an excruciating dose of instant karma to the balls

    Paul Sacca
    19 Apr 2014 | 10:07 am
    This young skater bro just wants to ride the rail, but the fun police are putting a stop to it. In hindsight it would have been a very prudent decision for the kid and his testicles to not ride the rail. The man instructs the teen to “take off” twice, but the as we all know, skaters gonna skate. The smart-ass kid questions the man’s action of calling 911 by saying, “It’s not an emergency though.” To which the man responds, “It is now,” and the great Zoltar could not have predicted the future better because on his farewell grind the kid loses his…
  • Adorable little girl confuses pool slide with toilet [GIFs]

    A. Isaac
    18 Apr 2014 | 4:00 pm
    IMGUR And that folks is why you should never got to a water park. It’s like a magic trick IMGUR Her ankle?! CBS Meet Khloe, the most flexible Playboy model ever IMGUR Khloe Terae is hands-down the number one reason men join Yoga classes. When pole dancing goes wrong IMGUR There’s this thing called the doorbell FAIL IMGUR Her face though IMGUR The Tom Brady of band members IMGUR How Lions fans feel about Jim Caldwell IMGUR Why Mario chased Peach all those years IMGUR That’s a quality nut shot IMGUR Wait for it IMGUR Woman driver, amirite? IMGUR SO. MUCH. SWAG. IMGUR Reverse…
  • What your workout clothes say about you

    Douglas Charles
    18 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    MTV Guy Code Before you hit the gym you should put a little thought into what you’re gonna wear there, because nobody will take you seriously if you’re doing bicep curls in pajama pants. What, exactly, do your workout clothes say about you? Let’s explore… [LINK]
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    Regretful Morning

  • Current State of The Site

    Jason
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:53 am
      As you have probably noticed by now, our site crashed and got rolled back to November.  There is no way around this, no server admin will save the day, and that content wasn’t saved.  Since we are stagnate for the time being, I thought I’d hook you up with some oldies but goodies. The […]
  • Morning After Pill Won’t Work On Fat Girls

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 1:46 pm
    I took this screen shot on Jezebel earlier when a big girl started complaining about BMI during a heated discussion about morning after pills.  I was kind of shocked to see that the highest rated comment was made by another girl who didn’t hold back.  It is also a shock to see we have a […]
  • Star Wars Humor Always Warrants A Chuckle (15 Pics)

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 11:11 am
    After viewing pic #4, I have a new found respect for Porkins.  If he hadn’t absorbed that enemy fire, Luke may have been taken out before he got his shot off.  The Empire would still rule to this day, eventually expanding to our galaxy and enslaving the people of Earth.  On the flip side, we’d […]
  • The 11 Highest Voted Pornstars On Reddit

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 8:00 am
    Yesterday redditors voted up the prettiest girls in porn.  I’ve grabbed the top 11 to get your feedback.  Overall, I am pleased with the results.  Also, we can’t post the nudes here because advertisers get pissed, but we are able to do so if it’s in a scientific manner.  So keep that in mind before […]
  • Thief Gets Pepper-sprayed, Spanked, And Kicked In The Face

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 6:00 am
    You came to wong neighborhood moddafucka. An Asian store owner was forced to take action when two knife wielding thieves attempted to rob his store. When two masked men walked into Zhen Yang’s Gatineau, Que., convenience store Tuesday night, at first he thought it was a practical joke. He was just closing up the store […]
 
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    ネットで買い物上手な主婦のブログ

  • 掃除用品のレンタルや清掃サービスならサニクリーン

    admin
    7 Apr 2014 | 11:00 pm
    個人・法人ともに無料で見積もりを出してくれるそうなので、レンタルや清掃サービスに興味があれば参考にしてみてください。ちなみに貸出している商品の機能や効果を確かめたい!という人には、無料お試し商品が用意されていますので、まずはそちらを利用してみてから、実際に依頼をしてみるといいでしょう。
  • 二の腕エステの効果についての情報サイトになります

    admin
    9 Nov 2013 | 10:00 pm
    美意識が高い女性は自分のボディが気になることでしょう。二の腕については、スポーツクラブに行かなくてもDVDがついている本などをつかい自宅で体操をしてサイズダウンができますが、これは毎日、続けないと効果がありません。そのため、忙しい現代人には無理な話だと思います。やはりエステに通うことが、二の腕のサイズダウンが期待できる方法でしょう。
  • 小型で手ごろな太陽光発電なら気軽に設置でき災害時も大活躍

    admin
    22 Sep 2013 | 11:00 pm
    地球環境に優しいとして使用されている太陽光発電ですが、災害時にも役立つことをご存知でしょうか。太陽光で発電するので、災害などで停電してしまったときにも自家発電することができるのです。夜に停電したときにも照明器具が使えるだけで安全に過ごすことができ、また真っ暗で心細いということもありません。…
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • Pretty sure the devil invented allergies.

    Jon
    16 Apr 2014 | 6:45 am
    Recently I tweeted: “Spring, the time of year I want to punch Adam in the face because I’m pretty sure allergies are a product of the fall.” I tweeted that because I am on lock down right now thanks to pollen. I can’t go outside or I look like I am crying from reading a really amazing poem about a pony. And there’s no way there were allergies in the Garden of Eden. I bet when God kicked out Adam and Eve he handed them a box of Claritin on the way. (Only one box though because even then, you could only get 15 at a time.) I had a hard time capturing why I hated…
  • 3 ways to be a better Christian hypocrite.

    Jon
    14 Apr 2014 | 2:00 am
    A few days ago, a friend texted me. Apparently a Christian band had been publicly ripping on him and he needed some advice. Now at the bare minimum, that’s not the best use of time for a Christian band, what with all the spreading the joy of Christ they’ve got on their plate. But the time management problem wasn’t the biggest issue. For me, the real challenge was the band’s twitter profile. You’d think, that given their penchant for not liking people, they’d at least have a twitter bio that reflected that. Alas, that wasn’t the case at all, as each line spoke to their hope to…
  • 4 questions everyone should ask.

    Jon
    10 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    I recently did a video with Relevant magazine. It’s a quick set of four things everyone needs to review in their lives. (I think the one I’ve had the most reaction to is the last one and it’s a question my dad asked me when I was growing up.) It’s only 2:32 long but covers everything from social media to relationships. Enjoy! The post 4 questions everyone should ask. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
  • Finally, a church deals with gluttony.

    Jon
    9 Apr 2014 | 6:37 am
    When I saw this typo in a church bulletin I laughed. Mostly because I am not as mature as you. Things like this tickle me. This isn’t my church. A friend sent this to me and I figured he’d like to remain anonymous. Or not, if he wants to be known I will put his name in here and he can be nonymous. (Pretty sure that’s right.) I also didn’t blank out part of the church’s name because I googled “First Free” and there was 3.7 million responses. If you are able to figure out which church is, congratulations, you are Inspector Gadget. In my head I…
  • Watching HBO and R-rated movies but only if the content is violent.

    Jon
    6 Apr 2014 | 2:43 pm
    A few months ago, my friend asked me a question, “How come we Christians get upset about the nudity in the show ‘Game of Thrones,’ but not at the violence? How come I haven’t heard anyone protest the idea that a little kid got thrown out of a window? On purpose.” Great question and I should have referred him to page 18 in the Stuff Christians Like book. It pretty much explained it. For Christians, we think it’s completely okay to watch R-Rated movies and HBO programs, but only if they got that rating because of violence. If they’re rated R because…
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    Late For the Sky

  • IMAGINE PASSOVER

    11 Apr 2014 | 8:32 pm
    By John LennonsteinImagine there's no leavenNo yeast to make bread riseNo rolls or doughnuts,Absence of the pizza pieImagine eating onlyMatzah for 8 days...Imagine there's no chametzFor Ashkenazis, no legumes(But at least there’s matzah brie orMatzo balls in chicken soup)Imagine all the bowelsBacked up for a week...You may say you like matzahBut passing it is pretty toughI hope this Metamucil’s kosher                                                     And it…
  • Breaking Chabad

    28 Nov 2013 | 12:56 pm
    The series follows Walter Weiss, a Talmudic scholar who discovers he has cancer.  To pay for his treatments he begins secretly making bacon in a mobile home and selling it on the black Hasidic market (the cure for the cure).  He especially has to conceal it from his brother in law, a rabbi who certifies food as kashrut in the local restaurants.  Walter works with Jesse Pinkus, a former student who dropped out and became a hog slaughterer in defiance of his Jewish roots.
  • THanukkahsGiving

    3 Nov 2013 | 5:33 am
    The first day of Hanukkah this year begins at sundown, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but ultimately overlaps Thanksgiving Day.  Black Friday now begins at sundown on Thanksgiving, so the Thanksgiving meal starts earlier every year.  Thus there's no reason not to combine your Hanukkah and Thanksgiving meals, even as early as Wednesday night.There are numerous recipes for Thanksgiving Hanukkah fusion foods circulating the internet.  Click here for the least appealing recipes I found. Sweet potato butternut squash latkes seems the perfect way to disquise the fact you are…
  • GOP Campaign Songs

    18 Oct 2012 | 6:59 am
    Mitt Romney today:"Hey, girls, remember the words to that old Willie Nelson song? It's one of my favorites:Maybe I didn't pay youQuite as equal as I should haveAnd maybe I will not grant yourLady parts health care I could haveIf I made you feel second rateNow my spin is: I was kinderYou were always in my binderYou were always in my binderRemember I didn't hold yourSchedule between five and nineMade flex hours so you’reIn your kitchen right on timeI’ll save you from that planned parenthoodTake control of your vaginaYou are always in my binderYou are always in my binderTell me,Tell me who…
  • Road Trip With My Dead Mother

    14 Jul 2012 | 6:36 am
    another rewrite:Mom had been dead for a while, and we were driving to New York with her in the back of the van. In the rear view mirror I saw 9-year-old Allie thrust her head forward, face flushed.   “Why does Grandma Margaret have to be right behind me!?”My wife just showed me her eyes that said, “Your mother.  You explain.”“Allie, settle down,” I said.  “She’s in the storage area, under ALL the luggage.  At least after this she won’t be on the shelf in the closet any more.  And you can move up closer to us, you know.”When I was little,…
 
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Triduum

    PeaceBang
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:06 pm
    Hi Triduumites! My blessings for grace, beauty, preparedness, stamina and good humor go with you as you count ‘em down for Mr. Jesus. Remember the restaurant kitchen worker’s motto: “You have to slow down to speed up.” DO. NOT. RUSH. You can’t think when you’re frantic. You don’t breathe when you’re frantic. Be calm, take a moment to get your thoughts together and consider your words before you open your mouth. Remember that we never get credit on earth for the spiritual discipline of not TOTALLY LOSING IT, but God sees and God knows. And God…
  • An Anonymous Letter of Polite Complaint For Ministers Everywhere: Keep Your Ordination To A Reasonable Length!!!

    PeaceBang
    15 Apr 2014 | 4:24 pm
    Darlings, I received this e-mail the other day and all I can say is “WORD.” >>Dear Peacebang, I am writing this anonymously, because I don’t want to offend the many ministers and ministers-in-training in my circle. My spouse is a young minister in the [major urban] area, and as such, we get invited to lots ordinations and installations. Lots and lots! [How lucky for you, Anonymous! I bet there's nothing you'd rather do on a Sunday afternoon than watch clergy process around and hear overly-long and often inappropriate addresses! - PB] While I’m excited to support our…
  • Go With God, Georgette

    PeaceBang
    12 Apr 2014 | 8:07 pm
    Hi sweet colleagues. I am very, very sad today. I am lifting up the life and ministry of the Rev. Georgette Wonders of Kenosha, Wisconsin, a Unitarian Universalist colleague of mine whom I did not personally know. The other night, Georgette was at a late organizing meeting for a homeless shelter in her city. At around 11pm, she left the meeting and drove to a McDonald’s drive-through. As I understand it, Georgette dropped her ATM card and opened the car door to pick it up. It was late; she must have been tired. She took her foot off the brake of the car and the car moved forward.
  • De-Frumpification Process

    PeaceBang
    9 Apr 2014 | 10:14 pm
    So I have this ouchy plantars fascitis foot, and I can’t wear lots of my shoes right now. Comfort is more than key: it’s impossible for me to walk without the right shoes. So I have these comfy Oxfords that I think are really cute, and I thought they would be okay with a dress for a day at the office. I was thinking that I could maybe do a cute librarian look, you know? So I put on tights and I put on my dress and I put on a matching cardigan with the tights and shoes and this is what happened. I looked like my great grandma. SO frumpy. The neckline needs help. I feel super ugly,…
  • La Semana Santa: Preparing For Holy Week

    PeaceBang
    8 Apr 2014 | 9:06 am
    Hi darlings, I am so looking forward to writing a post about how our hair should never match our skin tone, but that is going to have to wait for a bit. As we approach Holy Week, we have a huge dual responsibility: first and foremost is to be internally prepared for the walk in the sacred story with Jesus so that we can bring the necessary spiritual intensity, focus and depth to our ministry. Second is to attend to all the programmatic details of worship and fellowship. Lord knows there’s a ton of that. Wake early, breathe deeply, remember to take time to think. You are the one person…
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    The Junk Drawer

  • Lunatic in Aisle 9

    Kathy
    11 Apr 2014 | 4:57 pm
    It’s always something with me. I went to Wegmans after work today for some grocery shopping. Grabbed one of those two-tiered shopping carts that are smaller than a regular cart, but bigger than a hand basket. I got about 10 feet from the cart corral before realizing I had an unbelievably loud and annoying “crazy wheel” in the front. You know, the one that does whatever it wants, when it wants. The bad seed. Because I always think I can somehow jerk it back into a normal wheel position and make it behave, I kept using the cart – pushing harder, making zig zag turns, cursing at it –…
  • Local Woman Finds and Disposes of Mysterious Candy Found in Office

    Kathy
    26 Mar 2014 | 4:37 pm
    BETHLEHEM, PA – A local woman found a smashed doughnut-shaped sugared jelly candy on the floor of her office that she claims she never purchased. Kathy Frederick, 48, of Bethlehem, PA discovered the candy while pushing her chair away from her desk and standing up. “I was like OMG, that’s not my candy,” she said. “I never eat those. They stick in your teeth. Where did this come from?” Frederick, a computing consultant at Lehigh University, said she often takes candy from her supervisor’s candy dish, but reported that sugared jelly is not among the selections. “I have no idea…
  • Once Upon a Timepiece

    Kathy
    15 Mar 2014 | 7:22 am
    I attended a conference this week for writers in higher education. During one of the sessions, I sat next to a woman who intrigued me because she was wearing a device on her left wrist that looked foreign to me. In my tech job at work, I thought I’d seen everything. Devices are getting so much smaller these days and they do so much that it’s like walking around with an entire computer in your pocket. But this thing she had strapped to her wrist was something that really baffled me. This device looked like jewelry, but wasn’t quite a bracelet. It had symbols on it, but didn’t light up.
  • Stuff

    Kathy
    8 Mar 2014 | 4:22 pm
    Hey, folks. Remember me? Yes, I’m still blogging, but I’m just really having a hard time of it. I don’t brain very well these days, it seems. Just wanted to post something so you knew I was still alive, unlike that poor woman who was found dead in her car for like five years and nobody noticed. That’s a hell of a thing. I did actually write up a post a few days ago after I accidentally propositioned someone at the car wash, but I wasn’t happy with the final product, so you’re just going to have to use your imagination. Anyway, to ease back into what I hope will be regular-ish…
  • Unsuccessful Post-It Note Translation

    Kathy
    20 Feb 2014 | 2:53 pm
    So this morning I packed all my breakfast and lunch containers in a plastic bag that I grabbed from our supply of bags out of the pantry. When I took them all out at work, I found this Post-It note stuck to the inside of the bag. I thought maybe it was a note I made for myself that I forgot about. It wasn’t. It was a shopping list that my husband made and left in the bag, from many months ago. He knows it was old because, for the life of him, he can’t remember what sort of meat he bought that day. I’m sure we enjoyed the thing of meat. Meat things are so delicious. The jury is out on…
 
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    Weird News Files | The Weirdest News Ever

  • The mysterious cherry tree from outer space

    Nikos Kontorigas
    18 Apr 2014 | 11:49 pm
    Mystery surrounds the early blooming of the Japanese cherry tree that returned from a trip into space, leaving the Buddhist monks and scientists that take care of it with love speechless. The tree, that is four years old, bloomed in early April and that is six years earlier than the average time needed for similar plants. Cherry in space One of the priests of the temple Ganjoji in Gifu region of central Japan said that the tree bloomed really quickly, at an amazing speed. The pit from which this tree was planted originated from a cherry tree that the monks have taken care of with the utmost…
  • The most bizarre tourist tours

    Nikos Kontorigas
    17 Apr 2014 | 7:25 pm
    Apart from the “classic” attractions that can be seen, depending on the country and the place visited, and that can be found on a typical tour guides, you can also discover something more special in those places if you do your research. Here’s a list of the ten most bizarre tours given in different parts of the world! Evening tour in a factory, Kanagawa, Japan In the recent years more and more Japanese people are showing a craze for factories, which has been termed  as “kojo moe“. Evening trips to industrial sites have become very popular. One of the best parts…
  • Craziest weddings ever happened

    Nikos Kontorigas
    15 Apr 2014 | 2:33 pm
    Thousands of couples refuse to have a classic wedding and choose to give a more incredible touch to it, such as cool invitations or Superman costumes from the cartoon or from fantasy movies. The following weddings are characterized as the craziest on the planet and will definitely go down in history with their photos! Marriage like the beloved Flintstones “I Yabba Dabba Do!” shouted the groom after kissing the bride. The groom was dressed as Fred and the bride as Wilma on their wedding. The party was full of guests with polka dot costumes like cavemen and held clubs in their…
  • A nine-month-old infant accused of assulting police officers!

    Nikos Kontorigas
    14 Apr 2014 | 3:28 pm
    For today’s news we have a baby starring in one of the most bizarre cases in the history of the most bizarre court cases! A nine-month-old infant was arrested for involvement in attempted murder of police officers by the local authorities in Pakistan! That’s our little guy How could an infant of nine months do that?  The baby, whose name is Muhammad Mosa Khan, was accused of throwing stones at the police officers. So the formal procedure was followed and the infant was arrested and led to the police station for further action. While on custody, he normally had his fingerprints…
  • The most luxurious prison cells

    Nikos Kontorigas
    11 Apr 2014 | 5:59 am
    The word ‘prison‘ makes us think of dark cells, railings, mean guards and isolation. However, that is not the case in these situations. We are still talking about prison cells so do not expect any spas or spectacular view from them. If we are talking about clean and bright rooms, a comfortable bed, a TV on occasions and a fridge then surely such a stay is much more enjoyable. Nope, that’s not the case Santa Ana, CA If you want a good cell in this prison it will cost you. For 75 to 127 dollars a day you can be transferred to a better room away from the other prisoners.  A…
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    Jake Iannarino

  • The NEW ME!

    Jason Iannarino
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    I’m back! Welcome to my new home on the web. I am going to be posting some content for you all, and you are going to love it. If you don’t, please feel free to f$ck yourself! Also,  follow me on Twitter and my new YouTube channel: I am a student of Relson Gracie Jiu Jitsu and I host a podcast called “The Jiu Jitsu Lifestyle Podcast” (Go subscribe on iTunes!) You never know where I’m going to be, or what I may be up to. I have had a life of adventures that include: Costarred in major motion pictures. Traveled the WORLD. Headlined comedy clubs all over the United…
 
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • To Househave, and to Household

    15 Apr 2014 | 9:56 pm
    (Science happens every Sunday over at Secondhand SCIENCE. Something like science, anyway. A few of the same letters are involved. This week, the topic was absolute zero, which turned into something about a card game with ice queens, a shrunken-headed actress and naked George Costanza. I can't tell you how these things happen. You'll just have to go see for yourself.) I saw an ad the other day calling for writers for a "household tips" website. I didn't apply, because I'm not sure I have what you call a firm "household". It's more of a housefumble, really. Or maybe a housedrop. "Dry cleaning…
  • Kitty Whipped

    10 Apr 2014 | 9:27 pm
    I've reached a crossroads. No, it's more than that; it's an existential fog. A crisis of identity. A questioning of everything I am. What brought on this morphing of self, this foreign mode of being? Yesterday, in the afternoon, I laughed -- out loud, physically laughed -- at a picture on the internet. Of a CAT. I know, right? This is bad. It's not even about the cat. Sure, I don't like cats much. Cats are apathetic, self-absorbed antisocial assholes, and that doesn't fly with me. Because that's my job, dammit. Stop hogging my thing, cats. Also, I'm allergic. And cats' chief mode of…
  • It's My New Best Policy

    7 Apr 2014 | 8:41 am
    (Curious about scanning electron microscopy? Well, of course you are -- who isn't? Want to know what SEM has to do with 30 Rock, the Simpsons and Goldspider, which I totally didn't just make up? Then check out the latest post on Secondhand SCIENCE. That'll teach ya.) I'm thinking of picking up a new phrase to sprinkle into conversation. Because that's totally the sort of thing I think about on weekends, when there's nothing else happening. Truly, I'm living the dream. Anyway, my top candidate right now is "if I'm honest". So far as I can tell, this is a phrase that gets a fair amount of use…
  • Occupational Suicide, Chapter #2,481

    3 Apr 2014 | 4:28 pm
    Today, I was asked to write a first draft of an email with an update on what my department has been up to recently. The final email will soon be sent to the entire company. It was my job to get the ball rolling. And I rolled that ball. I rolled it to the tune of two-and-a-half pages, including section headers. And footnotes. Eight of 'em. Footnotes. "Tomorrow Never Datas" Actually, that might be the problem. Or at least, a really strong indicator of the problem. Which is me. Obviously. I won't bore you with the actual text of this update. But I will share those section headers -- and the…
  • Picture-Perfect Pants

    31 Mar 2014 | 4:19 pm
    (Sundays are for science! But Mondays can be, too! So if you missed yesterday's Secondhand SCIENCE post on neutrinos, hop on over for a look. I promise it's the ninja-y-est, most Bigfooty article about physics you'll read all week. Or at least until Sunday, when I ruin science again. Stay tuned for that. Meanwhile...) I've never paid much attention to the latest fashions or styles. This should be clear enough from every picture ever taken of me -- even the ones posted on the internet. All right. Especially the ones posted on the internet. One example of my laissez faire attitude toward haute…
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    List Of The Day

  • Simpsons Newspaper Headlines Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:03 am
    Blog Posts Amusing Screencaps from Beloved TV Show.
  • News: Woman Accidentally Pays £2,600 For Neil Diamond CD

    Cary McNeal
    17 Apr 2014 | 5:01 pm
    I guess I shouldn't tell her that I got the same CD used on Amazon for 39 cents. Woman Accidentally Pays £2,600 For Neil Diamond CD A woman was charged £2,600 for a Neil Diamond album after downloading the singer's 'Best Of' collection while on holiday in South Africa. Katie Bryan, a maths teacher from Lighthorne, South Warwickshire, downloaded the £8.99 album unaware of the incurred
  • 8 Household Objects You Can Eat To Stay Alive (Of The Day)

    Cary McNeal
    17 Apr 2014 | 7:02 am
    Can. Don't go eating your shoes if you don't have to. From Survival Goods: "Visualize this scene. The worst has occurred. You’ve been locked in your own home. Be it by a forgetful partner or a SAW-like psycho, you’re now a prisoner within your own four walls. Furthermore, having forgotten to do the weekly shop, the cupboards of your domestic gulag are bear. Don’t worry though; we’ve compiled
  • News: Community Theater Gives Part Of Blanche DuBois To Kathy Fucking Hamilton

    Cary McNeal
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:36 pm
    Unfuckingbelievable! From The Onion. Community Theater Gives Part Of Blanche DuBois To Kathy Fucking Hamilton PEEKSKILL, NY—In a surprising casting decision that has drawn criticism from numerous members of local community theater The Old Mill Players, sources confirmed Wednesday that the role of Blanche DuBois in the company’s upcoming production of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named
  • Photos Ruined By Dogs Pooping In The Background (Of The Day)

    Cary McNeal
    16 Apr 2014 | 6:51 am
    And, of course, the photographer took the shot anyway. I would, too.
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    Videos

  • Fifa 14 | KSI IS STUPID | OMG WTF?!?!?!?!?

    ComedyShortsGamer
    12 Apr 2014 | 12:46 pm
    Fifa 14 | KSI IS STUPID | OMG WTF?!?!?!?!? Follow Me On Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyGamer ▻If you see this, put 'KSI IS STUPID' in the comments ▻Cheap + INSTANT COINS - http://www.thegamekeys.c... From: ComedyShortsGamer Views: 747838 22798 ratings Time: 04:49 More in Entertainment
  • GAME GENIE RUINED MY LIFE FEATURING SMOSH (16-Bit High)

    Smosh Games
    12 Apr 2014 | 11:53 am
    GAME GENIE RUINED MY LIFE FEATURING SMOSH (16-Bit High) Join us every other Saturday for more 16-Bit High School! Subscribe to Smosh Games: http://smo.sh/SubscribeSmoshGames When Mega Kid's grades become threatene... From: Smosh Games Views: 532148 10232 ratings Time: 03:43 More in Gaming
  • The Yawhg with Simon, Sjin Nath & Kim! - Disaster Dukes (#1)

    YOGSCAST Kim
    12 Apr 2014 | 9:30 am
    The Yawhg with Simon, Sjin Nath & Kim! - Disaster Dukes (#1) Simon, Sjin, Nath and Kim team up to take on The Yawhg! Join the gang as they play through this lovely indie title that randomly generates it's story every t... From: YOGSCAST Kim Views: 119325 4023 ratings Time: 22:43 More in Gaming
  • Hilarious SWA Flight attendant- In Mid Life Crisis MUST meet Ellen and Jimmy Fallon!!

    Marty SWA flight attendant
    12 Apr 2014 | 9:13 am
    Hilarious SWA Flight attendant- In Mid Life Crisis MUST meet Ellen and Jimmy Fallon!! Hilarious SWA flight attendant....wants to meet Ellen & Jimmy Fallon!! From: Marty SWA flight attendant Views: 10611660 36801 ratings Time: 03:06 More in Comedy
  • Nicolas Cage Has a Rough History with Animals

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    12 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    Nicolas Cage Has a Rough History with Animals Nicolas recaps his aggressive past with animals, including a bandicoot, and Jimmy asks about Nicolas' upcoming film, Joe. Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show S... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 199689 2090 ratings Time: 05:35 More in Comedy
 
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    English Russia

  • Russian Army Has Landed on the Coast

    tim_post
    20 Apr 2014 | 9:41 pm
       …as a part of a join drill by Russian navy and navy infantry. The drill included firing real shots this time. As the official blog of Russian Far East Navy says: “We have an increase of the drills recently. … Read more...
  • Russian Firemen of the Past

    tim_post
    20 Apr 2014 | 8:38 pm
      Widescreen (after the click) photos of vintage Russian firemen. Their life, their duties, the fires they were summoned to. The vintage fire fighting equipment, cars, watchtowers. Their training drills and parades, fires in the cold winters and hot summers … Read more...
  • Vintage Russian Easter Postcards

    tim_post
    20 Apr 2014 | 8:33 pm
      Keeping in mind that today a day when both Easters – Orthodox and Western are celebrated here are a few of vintage Russian Easter postcards from the times before the Revolution of 1917, as after it the holiday wasn’t … Read more...
  • A Guided Tour into the Museum of the TU Planes

    tim_post
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:23 am
      The Design Bureau “Tu” was founded in 1922 by Andrei Tupolev. Since that time the bureau have developed about 300 projects of various types of aircrafts. Planes with the inscription “Tu” on board still carry passengers and are guarding the … Read more...
  • Safety School for Kazakh Flight Attendants

    tim_post
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:34 am
     What does a flight begin with? The crew must serve passengers with a smile during the flight and what is more important, they must ensure their safety in case of an emergency. This is how flight safety training for future … Read more...
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • It’s Just A Rabbit

    awkward
    20 Apr 2014 | 1:59 pm
    There’s no substitute for the real thing. (submitted by Lana)
  • Bunderwear

    awkward
    20 Apr 2014 | 1:52 pm
    He was so gullible. (submitted by Jared)
  • Bunnyback

    awkward
    20 Apr 2014 | 1:26 pm
    Some much confusion here, but mostly from the horse. (submitted by Nicholas)
  • Nose Candy

    awkward
    20 Apr 2014 | 10:44 am
    For some, the hunt had only just begun. (submitted by Joan)
  • The Hot Mess

    awkward
    20 Apr 2014 | 10:38 am
    This bunny wasn’t able to get any beauty sleep. (submitted by Darci)
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    FMyLife

  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    20 Apr 2014 | 2:38 pm
    Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    20 Apr 2014 | 10:58 am
    Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML
  • Not-pregnant says FML

    Not-pregnant
    20 Apr 2014 | 10:21 am
    Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML
  • allaturca says FML

    allaturca
    19 Apr 2014 | 10:24 pm
    Today, my husband bitched me out for going to the toilet after we had sex. He thinks it's my way of not getting pregnant and from now on, I can't go to the toilet for at least 2 hours after sex. FML
  • why?? says FML

    why??
    19 Apr 2014 | 9:52 pm
    Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML
 
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Fish Waved in Parliament

    Kevin
    19 Apr 2014 | 1:02 pm
    The parliament was Italy's, and the fish was reportedly a sea bass:   If you want to know why he was waving it, here's the story, but I really think this is one where the waving of the fish (which starts at :29) is more important than why it was waved. The lawmaker was ejected from the chamber after he refused to stop waving the sea bass, although it seems to me he should have a right to do that if he wants to. Nobody complained when someone brought a penguin to the Kentucky Senate, at least not until it pooped on the floor.
  • TSA Turns Away Mute Stroke Victim

    Kevin
    17 Apr 2014 | 10:44 am
    KABC in Los Angeles reported on April 5 that our heroes in the TSA had successfully prevented another innocent disabled person from flying. This time it was a stroke victim in a wheelchair who couldn't answer questions about her expired driver's license because—also due to the stroke—she is mute. Sherry Wright said she was with her sister Heidi and tried to explain for her, having brought along her sister's Social Security card and papers from the DMV (and possibly also a state ID card). She said that not only did the agent reject her explanation, he or she rudely insisted on hearing it…
  • Judge Posner Blasts Banana Lady

    Kevin
    15 Apr 2014 | 3:37 pm
    I'm a big fan of using images in briefs and opinions when that is appropriate, and it's hard to think of a more appropriate case than one involving a lady in a banana suit. The specific case I'm thinking of (in case there are more than one) is Conrad v. AM Community Credit Union, decided on April 14 by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit (Chicago Tribune; thanks, Tom). Those of you who know something about that circuit won't be too surprised to know the opinion was written by Judge Richard Posner, one of the nation's best legal writers and a man not afraid to stick a…
  • Abnormal Use Reviews My Book; Crayons Involved Again

    Kevin
    15 Apr 2014 | 11:45 am
    Thanks to Jim Dedman and the others at the award-winning products-liability blog Abnormal Use for reviewing The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance, with a special thanks to Batten Farrar for his expert rendition of the cover. This is the second time crayons have been used to recreate it, and that seems entirely appropriate. Also appropriate is the review's focus on the laws of the Carolinas, where their firm (Gallivan, White & Boyd) is located and which provided lots of material for the book. North Carolina's rattlesnake-milking tax was actually considered for the title spot,…
  • Get a Smell at These Emails

    Kevin
    15 Apr 2014 | 11:08 am
    This isn't strictly law-related, except that the point of these emails seem to be to drive traffic to some terrible law-related site. But I'm going to make an exception here. If you write a blog you will, at some point, start to get spam (or at least I think it's all spam) asking whether you accept "guest posts." I don't, but if I did I would probably try to ensure that the guest poster knew something about the language in which I post (English). I would think others would do this as well, which is why it seems strange that so many of these spam emails purporting to be from guest writers are…
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    nonamedufus

  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    20 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
  • If You Gotta Go, Go Now

    nonamedufus
    17 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    So I'm at the drugstore sitting, waiting for my prescription to be filled. I need some antibiotics for a cold and some medication to boost my chemo regime. There's these three chairs for people to use when they're waiting and next to them is a blood pressure machine. I suppose it's there to make us all fell guilty that we haven't been checking our pressure on a regular basis. Who me?So, anyway I'm sitting there and across from me, staring me in the face is an aisle full of incontinence products. Yeah, you know, those plastic pants one can wear under their normal clothes.To me, incontinence is…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    13 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
  • I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up

    nonamedufus
    10 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
    Who the hell watches daytime TV? Not me, normally. But I was convalescing from cataract surgery yesterday and was just kinda lying on the couch taking it easy. I started out watching the news channel and then after that got kind of repetitive switched over to the Game Show Network. There's something both networks had in common; Ads aimed at fat old people.Between Nutri System commercials and ads for lawsuits due to strokes from testosterone gel or metal hip replacements I couldn't help but start to feel very, very old and very, very fat. Hell, Kerri lost 110 pounds! Way to go Kerri. I don't…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    6 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
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    Ann's Rants

  • Spring Break, Then! Spring Break…Now.

    Ann Imig
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:01 am
    Spring Break Then: The Macarena! Spring Break Now: The Screaming Shrew. Spring Break Then: Boombox on the beach! Spring Break Now: Ant Venom Minecraft tutorials in the kitchen. Spring Break Then: Mai Tai, Baby! Spring Break Now:  Mai Chai, decaf. Spring Break Then: Sleeping, pancakes, tanning! Spring Break Now: Mini-golf bench, karate bench, soccer bench. Spring Break Then: Cute boys at the bar! Spring Break Now: Cute boys in timeout. Spring Break Then: Sarong, flip flops! Spring Break Now: Parka, mud boots. Spring Break Then: Cosmo quizzes! Spring Break Now: Camp forms. Speaking of Camp…
  • 10 Reasons I Still Blog

    Ann Imig
    9 Apr 2014 | 10:34 am
    Two weekends ago, I did a show. Not an LTYM show, which I now know how to do backwards and forwards, but a solo humor show. I combined a selection of live-readings from my blog, with a slide show and a bit of stand-up comedy, for an hour-long presentation at The Natural Parenting Expo.  As we entered the venue, my dad joked that I would serve as the “un-natural parenting” portion of the expo. I shushed him because he unknowingly stole my opening line. I already have his face (with a slighter goatee) so I thought at least I should have my own opening line. The show went well, aside from…
  • Don’t Fill The Void

    Ann Imig
    2 Apr 2014 | 8:57 am
    I’m sorry. Ann can’t come to the phone right now, she’s busy filling The Void with popcorn and social media scrolling. Lately I’ve been pondering an idea of a void and how I fill that void. I don’t mean a void in the sense of a gaping wound or a need never sated, but rather my tendency to fill an everyday/many-times-per-day void, when a healthier choice might be to leave it empty. The Void came to mind the other day, as I watched my inner-critic wreaking havoc on my inner-peace. I had this epiphan-ette: When I’m mean to myself, those words only appear to…
  • “John’s” by The Grade School Columnist (#WhereILivedWednesday)

    Ann Imig
    26 Mar 2014 | 4:28 am
    Everyone always picks Megan’s house. Jessica and Carrie and Alon and everyone. Megan’s dad’s house–John’s. Megan calls her dad John and her mom Judy, instead of “Mom” and “Dad.” She also does this thing—every time she sees someone and they say hi she asks “How are you?” I’ve never heard another sixth grader do that ever. I might try it and I might not. John lives one block from Joe’s market. We get off the bus from school and always stop there to get blue or red Freeze Pops and Captain Crunch and maybe a can of ravioli. When Danny stocks…
  • Boy Boomerang (My Erma BomBUST)

    Ann Imig
    18 Mar 2014 | 8:03 am
    Below find my non-winning entry for the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition. Congratulations to all of the winners! High fives to all of the other losers! Boy Boomerang My first-born spent his newborn months sleeping in the crook of my arm. The crib served as his favorite place to slumber… for 20 minutes maximum, and only after 45 minutes rocking to every ballad in my musical theater repertoire. I’d gingerly place him in said crib, army crawl from the room, and pray. Twenty minutes later found us samba-ing down the hallway, me belting I feel sleepy! Oh so sleepy! I feel sleepy and…
 
 
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    thebareessentialstoday.com

  • 広告業界も安泰ではない?

    14 Apr 2014 | 7:22 pm
    広告代理店といえば、一時期は隆盛を極めた業界です。就職人気ランキングでも常に上位に食い込んでいましたね。詳細はリスティング広告 正規代理店に書いてあります。もちろん今でも人気がある業界ではありますが、以前ほど状況は楽観視できるわけではないようです。詳しく知りたい方はグーグルアドワーズ…
  • 洗面所で使うタイルについて

    9 Apr 2014 | 7:43 pm
    マイホームを建てる時、雑多な生活観を感じさせないような可愛い洗面台にしたいという希望がありました。ご相談する際には静岡 注文住宅へ行ってみましょう。小さなモザイクタイルを天板に使用して、真中に陶器で出来た洗面ボウルを取り付けてもらいたいと思っていたのです。よく知らない点がある場合は新築…
  • 幼児教室を選ぶ際に夫婦で対立

    9 Apr 2014 | 6:49 pm
  • 美容皮膚科に通って綺麗になりました

    6 Apr 2014 | 10:47 pm
    美容皮膚科ですっかり綺麗になりました。年齢と共に増える悩みには銀座 皮膚科ここに書いてます。私が美容皮膚科に行って治療をしてもらう理由、それは将来のためなのです。あなたに合った東京…
  • 私が毎日パズドラを続けている理由

    3 Apr 2014 | 7:31 pm
 
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    The Velvet Blog

  • Close the door lightly when you go

    3 Apr 2014 | 2:16 pm
    I hereby propose a moratorium on use of "slams" in headlines. Also, synonyms for "slams." But, really, mostly "slams." All of these headlines were posted to Google News within a time frame of a few hours (I swear): Jennette McCurdy slams Nickelodeon, but network says 'Sam & Cat' Season 2 is a goAnthony Bourdain slams Nigella Lawson's U.S. travel banCris Carter slams Eagles with hypocritical tweet in support of DeSean JacksonEx-auditor-general Fraser slams elections bill as attack on democracyFranken slams Supreme Court decision on campaign contribution Nancy Pelosi Slams Supreme Court's…
  • Hello? Is this thing on?

    25 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead. You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook. But now that I have your attention: I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here). Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter…
  • Edna and Elbert

    12 Nov 2013 | 7:33 pm
    3-16-16 We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, Grace [unreadable]
  • Smackdown!: Pearl Bailey vs. pearl barley

    8 Oct 2013 | 6:58 am
    Pearl BaileyWho: American singer/actress/frequent talk show guest/writer. She was featured in Carmen Jones and Porgy and Bess on the big screen, and played Broadway. As a kid in the '70s, I'd watch her in her many talk show appearances on Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin, and the like (nothing that I could find on YouTube, which is surprising); she also appeared on The Carol Burnett Show, The Muppet Show, and many other variety shows. She wrote a best-selling memoir called The Raw Pearl, as well as the puzzlingly titled Hurry Up, America, and Spit. She won the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1988…
  • No, I'm not really blogging again

    31 Jul 2013 | 3:13 pm
    I'm just leaving this here to see if I get a response from iMotors or Reply.com. Let's try linking these two phrases: iMotors sucks. And Reply.com sucks even harder. The back story: I'm in the market for a car. I got a Facebook ad from iMotors for finding local dealers and what cars they have in stock. Hey, that sounds helpful, so I signed up. Immediately, I went from having maybe five spam emails hitting my email address per day to, oh, 250-300. Not all car related. Everything under the sun, from meeting Latino singles to lengthening my thingee. I'm assuming Reply.com has sold my email…
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    BugginWord

  • Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs

    BugginWord
    14 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    This morning, while waiting for the green light to condone another cup of espresso, I turned to my husband and whispered, “I’m drinking coffee.  Willingly.  I’m a suburban housewife that drives her TWO kids through the two-lane streets of Jersey.  In a minivan.  That drinks coffee.”  I glanced down at the now deflated foam of my cappuccino.  ”What the fuck happened?” Changes.  Woof.  So to calm myself down (apparently drinking too much coffee can make you anxious – we coffee novices don’t know these things), I’ve compiled this list…
  • Five Years Time

    BugginWord
    19 Dec 2013 | 7:11 am
    Five years.  Some times that feels like five seconds.  Sometimes five lifetimes. It’s undergrad.  A novel.  An apprenticeship.  A marriage.  A thesis.  A prognosis.  A job.  A career.  A lifetime. A milestone. Normally, I wait and write about my trips to see Aloysius after they happen.  I suppose I’m a little superstitious and prefer to not jinx anything.  But today, this visit…it’s different.  Today I find out if I’m cured.  As in “cancer free.”  As in “no evidence of disease.”  As in “have a nice [long] life because…
  • Falling

    BugginWord
    6 Sep 2013 | 11:59 am
    There’s always something about the arrival of Fall that I find deeply comforting. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love Summer.  I love her reliability – her near-constant light and temperatures.  Once you hit 90, can you really discernibly tell if the temperature continues to rise? I love breezes, water, cold drinks (even the ones without alcohol in them) and frozen dairy on a stick.  I love grills, patios, porches, and blowing bubbles.  I love hiding in the shade during the brutal mid-day sun and maybe even catching a blanket-free catnap. I love Summer, but I love to…
  • Who Moved My Corn?

    BugginWord
    10 May 2013 | 9:43 am
    I need a piece of corn. Let’s try this again: Last week, I planted a mess of seedlings I’d been nurturing for months outside in some raised garden beds I recently built.  They’re dead now.  Apparently, you’re supposed to ease them outside, harden them, prepare them – not just shove ‘em in some mud and expect them to thrive after months without ever knowing the true warmth of the sun. Nope – too dramatic.  Take three: When she told him things she was thinking…he said it back to her in language that showed he understood what she’d said.
  • License Plates and Unicorn Fakes

    BugginWord
    26 Apr 2013 | 9:55 am
    So first?  I think we need to acknowledge this video exists. Second?  I can’t lift my arms.  That’s not really true.  It’s called “creative license,” people.  Also it’s called “Elly decided that after pining for a yard of her own her whole damn life be damned if she’s going to wait another fucking minute to whip this one into shape and I’m going to save money and do it all myself and girl power and I am woman and how hard can it be and holy shit balls five cubic yards is a whole lot more dirt than I expected and maybe I…
 
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    Joe Donatelli

  • Draft Day

    Joe Donatelli
    13 Apr 2014 | 11:02 am
    A prodigal Browns fan reviews the movie Draft Day and does not hate it.
  • Flash Boys

    Joe Donatelli
    6 Apr 2014 | 5:21 pm
    A quick review of Flash Boys, the terrific book about high frequency trading by Michael Lewis.
  • Virtual Reality in Cleveland

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Apr 2014 | 9:53 am
    How virtual reality can help cities like Cleveland.
  • Stack Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    28 Mar 2014 | 8:36 am
    What Your Baseball Position Says About You  The Los Angeles Lakers PRO Nutrition Plan 
  • When to Give Up on Your Dreams

    Joe Donatelli
    20 Mar 2014 | 2:32 pm
    When should someone, if ever, give up on their dreams?
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    Futility Closet

  • Unquote

    Greg Ross
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:25 pm
    “Via ovicapitum dura est. The way of the egghead is hard.” — Adlai Stevenson
  • Confederados

    Greg Ross
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:12 am
    When the Civil War ended, thousands of Confederates chose to leave the United States entirely and settle in Brazil. “Shall any Southerner be blamed, if he seeks a land where the night of vengeance has not come, that his day may not be one of threatening?” asked Ballard S. Dunn in Brazil, the Home for Southerners (1866). “Why should he? For, as surely as that these four years of disastrous war have left most of those who have been true to themselves and their ancestors penniless, homeless, despoiled, and bereaved, so surely the future, with its cumbrous disabilities, and…
  • Alison’s Triangle

    Greg Ross
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:05 pm
    I’m not sure who came up with this — this simple diagram reflects all possible true trigonometric identities of the form x ÷ y = z or x × y = z, where x, y, and z are the basic trigonometric functions of the same angle t. For any three neighboring functions on the perimeter of the star, the product of the ends always equals the middle (e.g., tan t × cos t = sin t) and the middle function divided by one of the end functions is equal to the other end function (e.g., sin t ÷ tan t = cos t and sin t ÷ cos t = tan t). If you memorize the diagram you can read off a list…
  • “Socrates Among the Athenians”

    Greg Ross
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:20 am
    – Louis Phillips, Academe, February 1979
  • One on One

    Greg Ross
    18 Apr 2014 | 11:16 pm
    Thomas Jefferson looks on nervously while Lyndon Johnson “confers” with Sen. Richard Russell (D-Ga.). At 6’4″, Johnson tied Abraham Lincoln as the tallest U.S. president, and he used his physical presence to advance his agenda, cornering his targets in out-of-the-way places and leaning “so close to you,” one staffer recalled, “that your eyeglasses bumped.” In their 1966 book The Exercise of Power, Rowland Evans and Robert Novak dubbed this The Treatment: The Treatment could last ten minutes or four hours. It came, enveloping its target, at the…
 
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • The new recruit at guard duty

    traymond
    20 Apr 2014 | 9:01 am
    The new recruit, on guard duty for the first time, was told to challenge anyone who didn’t have a blue card. The General came to the gate.  He didn’t have his blue card with him.  The recruit challenged the General.  The General said he was coming in anyway. The Private replied, “Who do I shoot?  You or the Driver?  I’m new at this guard duty business.”
  • Sandwich at the train station

    traymond
    19 Apr 2014 | 9:58 am
    A man rushed off a train and ran up to a little boy standing on the platform. “We’ve only got a short stop here,” he said. “here’s a dollar. Go in that lunchroom and get me a sandwich, will you? And here’s another dollar. Get a sandwich for yourself, too.” The boy was gone so long the man began to get nervous. Just as the conductor hollered “All Aboard!” the kid dashed out of the lunchroom and ran over to the man. “Here’s your dollar,” he said. “they only had one sandwich.”
  • Defective in the police force

    traymond
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:06 am
    The following correction appeared in a small town paper: “Our paper carried the notice last week that Mr. John Jones is a defective in the police force.  This was a typographical error. Mr. Jones is really a detective in the police farce.”
  • Computer Sayings

    traymond
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:51 am
    Home is where you hang your @ The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. Great groups from little icons grow. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. C:\ is the root of all directories. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page. Pentium wise-pen and paper foolish. The modem is the message. Too many clicks spoil the browse. The geek shall inherit the earth. A chat has nine lives. Don’t byte off more than you can view. Fax is stranger than fiction. What boots up must…
  • Things to do during a boring sermon

    traymond
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:47 am
    Everyone has sat through a boring sermon or lecture - what can you do to entertain yourself? Pass a note to the organist asking whether he or she plays requests. See if a yawn really is contagious. Slap your neighbor.  See if they turn the other cheek.  If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher. Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs. Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with ‘A’ then ‘B’ and so on through the alphabet. Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you.  After the…
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    Renée Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in Design

  • Late Snow In Maine

    19 Apr 2014 | 5:13 am
    It seems as though summer will never come.We have had temps in the 20's all week.The Mainer's assure me that this has been a horrible winter and that it is a rare one as well.In March I was really wondering if I could tolerate these Maine winters.But alas......the memory of summer,and the hope of a Maine summer keeps me going.Yes.Summer in Maine is that magical.I love every day of it.ArcadiaThe lilacs will soon arrive.The deep green will arrive.And my favorite summer flower.....the poppy will come too!!! Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton…
  • You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression -The Nomad Hotel

    10 Apr 2014 | 6:38 am
    THE NOMAD  HOTELWouldn't this make a fabulous movie set.I think so.I adore this front desk.In a Film, this extraordinary look could be used in several time periods.(maybe I like it so much because the designer used gobs of fabricand fabulous light fixtures)The Nomad HotelThe Nomad HotelThe Nomad HotelImpressive entrance/and 'beginning' for a hotel.No?Remember you Never Get a Second Chance To Make A First ImpressionDivine NYCThe Nomad HotelI would be very comfy hiding out here with a book.The Nomad HotelOut of the city into this darkened refuse.It feels like a great room for a secret…
  • Striped Walls

    31 Mar 2014 | 5:10 am
    This is my favorite striped wall and ceiling effect in this post.It gives the feel of being in a tented cabana.How great is that?And this is totally do-able!!Another striped wall with the ceiling painted as well.The striped walls are painted right over the doors.The door disappears...great!I love the striped walls and the stripe is carried over into the fabric on the upholstery.....just the door striped.Cool idea if you are too chicken to paint an entire room.hehehehLOVE!!An over the top little girls room with pink striped walls.This is a great metal kitchen that has been…
  • Home & - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014

    22 Mar 2014 | 3:25 am
    Egan WieserI chose this kitchen from his websitebecause I thought it was so unusual.What are your feelings on this kitchen design?Hope all are well out there in Bloggy-VilleXXX'sReneeClick here to see his work. Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton and Rockport and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 , Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 , Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 Renee Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in…
  • Trench Coats, Umbrellas & Spring ....PLEASE

    16 Mar 2014 | 2:45 pm
    Please we are sick of the winter!!!I am so into the short trench coat/jackets!!Maybe.....I am still making my mind upI most certainly am not !!!!!I am waiting and waiting for spring.Throw me a bone!!!More sun and less freezing temperatures.If only I could see a bud.....some life. Maine is the most beautiful but the last months can be dismal.I suffer from seasonal depression and this winter has been a doozy. But...........when spring breaks....there is hope.Then I KNOW the greatest season approaches,summer in Maine.There is nothing like it anywhere.I am holding on to the…
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    Points in Case - The Fine Print of College Life

  • An Alpha Male's Guide to Being a Man

    James Boulstridge
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:57 pm
    Article by James Boulstridge Don't bitch. Drinking is the cause and solution to pretty much every obstacle you have to face in life from the onset of puberty, from loneliness to marriage, and all that spectrum of beauty in between.It is our duty to keep women in a constant state of confusion—I mean arousal—and defensiveness. DO NOT COMMUNICATE FEELINGS! This way she will never know which way is up other than if she works up your erections. SHE WILL LITERALLY BE FORCED TO GIVE YOU ERECTIONS!Women mature a lot faster and a lot earlier than men; to acknowledge this is foolhardy, says I. When…
  • 7 Secrets for Passing a Teaching Interview

    Wesley Jansen
    15 Apr 2014 | 7:49 pm
    Article by Wesley Jansen We all know that going to a job interview can be very intimidating. Whether you're looking for work just to pay the bills, or actually trying to get your dream job, it's an emotionally trying time. Especially if you are a teacher. Teachers are put under lots of pressure in job interviews because they work with kids. As a teacher, I consider it my responsibility to help those in my field because I've been there already. So for you, I have put together 7 successful strategies for passing your next teaching interview. 7. Make sure your answers are concise.The…
  • Douche Ukrainian Guy at the Bar

    Casey Freeman
    12 Apr 2014 | 9:33 am
    Column by Casey Freeman I needed a night out so I thought I'd hang with a friend, Tanya, and her friends, some of whom I'd met before. Our mission was to take out Yuri, Tanya's engineer friend from the Ukraine, who had never hit the Korean club scene. He looked like your stereotypical doofus: maybe 130 pounds and arms like wet baby towels. I'm sure he could chat online all day, but he could barely carry on a face-to-face convo.Some Korean clubs rank as pretty awesome. There usually aren't cover charges. Most folks can afford the drinks. The people dress nice and prefer to dance rather than…
  • Black Men Can't Swim

    Eugene Slaven
    9 Apr 2014 | 8:04 pm
    Article by Eugene Slaven When I finally managed to turn on the TV after several infuriating seconds of struggling to aim the remote in just the right spot, the channel was fortuitously tuned to the Bravo network. I think my wife or mistress watched something on Bravo, so hopefully that explains everything and there won't be any follow-up questions regarding Bravo or my mistress. Bravo was airing a reunion of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Not to be confused with The Real Housewives of Orange County. Definitely not the same show. You see, whereas The Real Housewives of Orange Country…
  • It's Your World, Fat People

    Nathan DeGraaf
    6 Apr 2014 | 8:26 pm
    Column by Nathan DeGraaf Recent census data shows that 69% of Americans are overweight. Recent census data also shows that 63% of all Americans are white. That means, regardless of race, creed or color, if you are fat, you are part of the majority in this country. And as the majority in this country, you chubbalos need to get together and make this country a better place to eat fried butter.This world is inordinately bent to cater to the healthy and slim. We fit in chairs and on toilets all over the world. Why can't you? There're more of you than us. Seriously, you hippos are being oppressed.
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Short funny jokes-Rebirth

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Patrick, the pervert, is praying hard, "Jesus, if there really is such a thing as rebirth, then I would like to return as a women's bicycle seat."
  • A score above 100%

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dr. Jones had served many years as an Obstetrician/gynecologist, but he felt he had reached a saturation point. His mind was no longer in his job. He wanted to do something else for the rest of his life. Dr. Jones had a fascination for mechanical things and remembered he enjoyed automotive training in school and, therefore decided to go in for a career change and to become an auto mechanic. He enrolled at an automotive school.He completed the course and was required to appear for the final exams. The physical exam consisted of taking a car engine apart and then putting it back together. Dr.
  • Funny jokes-Use of money

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Two college students, Desmond and Kurt, were walking on the pavement when they were approached by a beggar asking for money.Kurt tries to shoo him away, but Desmond takes out his wallet, pulls out a few bills and hands them to the beggar. The beggar thanks him and moves on.Kurt is annoyed by his friend's act of charity "Why the hell did you do that?" yells Kurt. "You know he's only going to use it on alcohol or drugs!"Desmond replies, "What...and we weren't?"
  • Angry boy

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    The angry boy tells the girl after a night of passionate love-making, "My name is Rob, and not Billy, or Andrew or Jack or Ron or Jeremy or any of the other names you've been screaming all night!"The girl replies, "Hey, I wasn't screaming out anybody else's name during our intercourse. I was just thinking of baby names, if I were to get pregnant.
  • Really funny jokes-Getting really old

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    My grandpa said to me, "I guess I am getting really old after all."I asked, "What happened'?Grandpa grumbled, "I went to Kaka's antique auction and four people bid on me!"
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Limericks-Careless

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    A flighty young gal named MelissaWas careless as hell on the pissa.One day in the rush,She was caught in the flush,And goodness knows all of us missa!
  • Another Mother-in-Law joke

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    It was Friday evening and we were having a guys-night-out. The topic came to mothers-in-law and each one of us guys had a nasty tale to narrate.When almost everyone had finished their woeful accounts, Nick was the only one who was silent throughout. I asked him jokingly, "Nick, tell us the two most horrible things about your Mother-in-Law?"Nick replied, "Her faces!"
  • Horse breeders

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Two horse-breeders are chatting across the fence, when one of them asks, "Do your horses smoke?"The other, a little surprised, said, "Of course not!"The first one says, "Then your stable must be burning!"
  • When your wife wants to see your phone...

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Wife: Can I see your phone for a second?Husband: Just a moment....(He gets busy doing the following)Remove video. Remove pictures. Remove private folder.Remove numbers.Remove sms.Remove outgoing calls record.Remove incoming calls record.Remove mms.Remove what's app.FORMAT Memory Card...Here you go, I have nothing to hide from you!Wife: But I just wanted to see the time...
  • Learnings of Ministers

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    When the Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "That was an experience, how do I learn from it?"When the Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "I must have done something really bad to deserve that."When the Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "That was inevitable, I'm glad its over."When the Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "Which one of my deacons pushed me?
 
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    BestJokes.cc

  • Nothing Funny About Apollo Ecigs E Liquid

    harry
    24 Mar 2014 | 9:13 am
    Review of the Apollo Ecigs E Liquid In this article, we are going to talk about the Apollo Ecigs E Liquid. It is the popular brands of the electronic cigarette on the market. Many people try to quit their bad habits of smoking with many kinds of products. The electronic cigarette is just one of the products that can help the habit of smoking to many people. For some people, quit the smoking habit is easy. They just need the simple distraction to stop the smoking habit. Some of them just need to chew the gum as the distraction, or they can eat some snack to stop that smoking habit. However,…
  • Bull Smoke Gets Adult Film Star Abella Anderson

    harry
    9 Mar 2014 | 4:19 pm
    Bull Smoke Gets Adult Film Star Abella Anderson As A Sponser If you haven’t heard of Bull Smoke, they are an internet based electronic cigarette company that can be visited at bullsmoke.com.  They have been around for about 3 years and are considered one of the best electronic cigarette brands online.   With that said what is the deal with them letting Abella Anderson be their new spokes person?  Look I’m a guy so I totally get sex sales but this is not at all needed for this product to be successful.  Bull Smoke offers a great product at an affordable price and are pretty…
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    The Inverse Delirium Podcast

  • InveDel 81: Comic Books & Man Caves

    Geoffrey Welchman
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:13 am
    This one's for the boys! We meet the guys from RadioBlab in a most unexpected way, report on our latest temporary location, and present an encore of the Nerdpocalypse in all their nerd-like glory. Finally, we throw caution to the wind tunnel and reboot a horror classic! With our special guests: Mikey & Bells from Dorktown Podcast as Rad and Jobert The Amazing Betty  Jay, Micah & Matt from the Nerdpocalypse podcast And in our Exorcist reboot: Mike Sains as the Husband Michele Wojciechowski as the Wife Michael…
  • InveDel-80: Legend in the Making!

    Geoffrey Welchman
    11 Mar 2014 | 5:55 am
    Let there be huzzah-ing in the cobblestoned streets: InveDel is back! Drop your jaw as we interview the host of My Cat From Hell! Gasp in wondermint as we speak with comedian Ryan Somebody! And let the tears of joy pool in your socks as we present a promo for a new fantasy series! (take THAT, Game of Thrones!) With our special guests: In Wig Shop, Kimberly Young as Miss Angie As Jackson Galaxy, comedian and host of ReHash Podcast Matt O’Brien And comedian Ryan Stout (Chelsea Lately, Comedy Central) as…
  • InveDel-79: There is No "I" in Orgasm

    Geoffrey Welchman
    17 Feb 2014 | 7:45 am
    Webisode 79 is like no other, as we present a special Post-Valentine's Day offer from Don & Abby Fletchington, Relationship Experts to the Stars! Also, a look at an action-movie cliche, and a scholarly report on gaming from a scholarly gamer. With our special guests: In The Credential Scene: Christian Finnegan as Stevens Jud Niven as the Major In No ‘I’ In Orgasm: Elizabeth Laime (Totally Laime/Totally Married podcasts) Actor/improv’er Jeff Hiller In Game-Gamer-Gamest: Bobbie Oliver as Jane Grundel Mike Sains as Matt the Test…
  • InveDel 78: Peacock Mantis Shrimp!

    Geoffrey Welchman
    5 Feb 2014 | 5:54 am
    We take a stand on the celebrity haircut, and present sketches celebrating animals and thoughts. With a loving tribute to the Amazing Betty's favorite crustacean, the Peacock Mantis Shrimp! This one's a pip! Plus! Stay through the credits to hear Graham Elwood (Comedy Film Nerds podcast) talk about his kickstarter campaign for a documentary about podcasters called "Ear Buds"!  With our special guests (in order of appearance): TJ Spaulding as Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake In Dude! You Woke Me Up!  Jojo Girard as…
  • InveDel 77: Grammar Girl to the Rescue!

    Geoffrey Welchman
    20 Jan 2014 | 7:41 am
    Grammar Girl sinks to a new low with The Inverse Delirium! We open our so-called Spring Season deep in the heart of January! Let there be icicles and bites of frost for everyone! We grit our teeth through a small problem at Poison Dart Studios to provide an intimate interview with Grammar Girl herself! Also, some fast food, and an investigation into supermarket codes. With our special guests: In Morning Breath Shield (0:49): Comedian Mark Riccadonna as the announcer  Comedian Michele…
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fan Art ... and how I did it.

    Daniel Newton
    20 Apr 2014 | 5:36 pm
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan art by Daniel Grant Newton (DGN Productions). Characters include Leonardo, Donatello, April O'Neil and Casey Jones.  Daniel does not own these characters or have any rights to them. Hey there, hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend.  If you do not celebrate the day, and do not worship rabbits who bring chocolate eggs, then I hope you enjoy had a relaxing time
  • Mystical, Magical Crystal Ball Art Piece by Daniel Grant Newton using the Moon as the Crystal Ball

    Daniel Newton
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:09 am
    Hey hey it's Thursday.  I hope you've been having an awesome week.  Anyway, new art I'd like to share with you my dear friend.   I used the other night's spectacular full moon and two sketches I had created earlier to make the following picture in photoshop.  Another crystal ball piece not unlike this one I did earlier. Crystal Ball picture by Daniel Grant Newton.  The ball is actually a
  • Tomb Raider Lara Croft Fan Art created by Daniel Grant Newton in the DGN Productions Studio

    Daniel Newton
    13 Apr 2014 | 3:09 am
    A message from the studio of DGN Productions (scroll down to skip the jibber jabber and see my Tomb Raider Lara Croft fan art): G'day there.   Hope you've had a freaking awesome weekend doing things like skydiving onto a rooftop, then abseiling down it with no rope, smashing through a window with your bare fist and making a citizen's arrest of a cigar smoking gangster... and are looking forward
  • a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan art drawing I was playing with last night

    Daniel Newton
    6 Apr 2014 | 4:02 pm
    I am a huge TMNT fan, and am very excited about the Michael Bay movie adaption coming out soon, so I thought I'd draw Raphael and Casey Jones from the franchise (see left). There are a few bits of this drawing that are a little off, but for the most part it is good, and was quite fun to give it a little bit of my spin. Anyway, for those that haven't seen the trailer for the film, I've
  • New Art: 'The Fire Shaman of London' by Daniel Grant Newton - DGN Productions

    Daniel Newton
    3 Apr 2014 | 3:37 pm
    Hello friend.  Hope you are good. Wanted to share with you a new sketch I created called 'The Fire Shaman of London'.  I think there is a collection of art forming here, check out this last sketch I posted.  It is sort of a mystical version of 'steam punk'. 'The Fire Shaman of London' - New Sketch by Daniel Grant Newton Anyway, this sketch shows a shaman overlooking the 'Great London
 
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    BlackHumor.net

  • Car crash compilation

    admin
    13 Apr 2014 | 8:57 am
    Five minutes of car crash compilation
  • Perfect parking

    admin
    13 Apr 2014 | 8:33 am
    Not only he drive in one wheel…
  • 23 Sep 2013 | 9:32 pm

    admin
    23 Sep 2013 | 9:32 pm
    Taylor Swift’s Top 3 Boyfriends Once the darling of country music, artist Taylor Swift has gone on to become one of the biggest recording artists in the world. Her high profile has helped her sell millions of records worldwide, in addition to propelling her celebrity status into the stratosphere. Along the way, Taylor has been covered as much for her music and her fashion choices as for her at times tumultuous relationships – often with similarly high profile celebrities. There’s been a few of them, but Taylor’s relationships are often the direct inspiration for her hit songs,…
  • Bentley the Bulldog Puppy is fussy

    admin3
    12 Apr 2013 | 2:21 am
  • 10 Interesting Facts #13

    admin3
    11 Apr 2013 | 2:34 am
    1. Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star. 2. Only about 20% of harvested coffee beans are considered to be a premium bean of the highest quality. 3. Only female mosquitoes bite. Females need the protein from blood to produce their eggs. Males only drink water and plant juice. 4. Only four countries in the world start with the letter ‘D’. They are Denmark, Dominica, Djibouti and the Dominican Republic 5. Only full-grown male crickets can chirp. 6.  Only 1 out of 100 people have a computer 7. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older. 8. Only one…
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    The Humor Blog

  • Quotes from Classic Golf Comedy Movie ‘Happy Gilmore’

    Chris
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:14 am
    Lines by Happy, Chubbs, Hal and other characters in this classic golf comedy which came out back in 1996. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Family Guy Episode Quotes – Hilarious Lines by Peter and Others

    Chris
    13 Apr 2014 | 5:13 am
    Some of the best quotes by Stewie, Quagmire, Peter, Tom Tucker, Brian and other characters from Family Guy. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • QI Episode Quotes and Statistics – by Stephen Fry and Guests

    Chris
    12 Apr 2014 | 3:05 am
    Quotes from different episodes of QI hosted by Stephen Fry and featuring funny famous guests including Jimmy Carr. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Funniest 40-Year-Old Virgin Quotes From Full Movie Cast

    Chris
    11 Apr 2014 | 2:21 am
    Quotes by different characters in the classic comedy film '40 Year Old Virgin'. Have a laugh now. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Funny Simpsons Quotes By Homer And Other Characters

    Chris
    10 Apr 2014 | 4:21 am
    Collection of funny lines from different family members during some of the 500 episodes made so far. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
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    Funky Downtown

  • World’s Toughest Job Director Of Operations

    admin
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Very touch prank video, which is also an ad from a greeting card company. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no break, no holiday, no pay…world’s toughest job ‘Director of Operations’ aka ‘Moms’! American Greetings enlisted the help of Boston-based advertising agency Mullen for its Mother’s Day campaign this […]
  • World’s Most Expensive Easter Egg

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:59 am
    This is the world’s most expensive Easter egg! So if you think you have no idea where and how to spend your money, just consider in buying it; it just costs you few million dollars only…lol. A cross between a Faberge egg and the Damien Hirst skull, the ‘Mirage’ is a unique gem that only […]
  • 8 Pairs of Unusual But Adorable Twins

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:40 am
  • Five-metre Oarfish Found Dead in Mexican Beach

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:32 am
  • Faithful Dogs Protect Little Master From Beaten by Mother

    admin
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:08 am
    Dogs are man’s best friends, no doubt at all! Watch how two faithful dogs protect their little master when his mother is trying to beat him…so touch!
 
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    Noise to Signal

  • Infographobia

    Rob Cottingham
    16 Apr 2014 | 2:59 pm
    Adding a word like “infographic” to a spell check dictionary is the sort of unpleasant task that, like butchering animals, should probably be done out of sight of the end user. I’m not sure why I’ve grown to dislike infographics so much. As a visual guy (hence the cartoons, right?) I wholeheartedly endorse graphic communication. But like so many other things, infographics are often conscripted into the ongoing War Against Informed Decision-Making. Not all of them: just the ones that are all graphic and no info (if that), or that use wild, unsourced statistics to back…
  • Leave the lawyers out of it

    Rob Cottingham
    11 Apr 2014 | 4:51 pm
    Contrary to speculation, World War III will not break out in Crimea. Or the Middle East. It’ll start over that whole one-or-two-spaces-after-a-period thing. (Robin Williams, let me know where to enlist.) A slew of cartoons just like this one will be appearing soon in an exciting new book, TOUCH: Five Factors to Growing and Leading a Human Organization. It’s by two very smart cookies, Tod Maffin and Mark Blevis, and it suggests that businesses that abandon human-to-human interaction in the rush to technologize are missing out on the real power of connection and relationships. More…
  • Drumming up business

    Rob Cottingham
    9 Apr 2014 | 8:55 pm
    Doritos, deep-fried fish sticks, deep-fried chicken nuggets, Black Forest cake, deep-friend Black Forest cake with a Doritos crumble topping… It’s like they’re saying “We know you’re just visiting, but we’d love you to come by for a longer stay.” See more cartoons about social media, business and the way we live and work online at Noise to Signal Cartoon
  • KMG365

    Rob Cottingham
    8 Apr 2014 | 4:04 pm
    This is not my first colors-as-hex-codes joke. See more cartoons about social media, business and the way we live and work online at Noise to Signal Cartoon
  • Edward Snowden at SXSW

    Rob Cottingham
    12 Mar 2014 | 5:18 pm
    Man tries to do the right thing against a backdrop of deadly espionage, 1959: North By Northwest. Man tries to do the right thing against a backdrop of deadly espionage, 2014: South By Southwest. Immunity for Edward Snowden sounds about right. Instead, he has to live under the threat of abduction, interrogation and if some especially awful U.S. politicians got their way, execution. There’s little indication that President Obama’s administration is open to leniency, or even an alternate perspective on Mr. Snowden. But as LGBT Americans can attest, the president has changed his mind…
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    Words, Pictures, Humor

  • Prost! Pt. II

    drewdernavich
    10 Apr 2014 | 9:45 am
    By the way, I wasn’t such a huge fan of German beer before I went over to Austria and Germany. But I am now.
  • Prost!

    drewdernavich
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:19 pm
    Where did the last two weeks go? Oh yeah – now I remember. I was in Austria, along with Matthew Diffee and Paul Noth. We were asked to come host a symposium in Wels with a bunch of other very talented cartoonists from Austria and Germany, and so we did, after one of us was – ahem – detained by the Swiss police over passport issues. On the way there, we did our Fisticuffs! show in Linz, Austria, as part of the Next Comic Festival at the university.   And although the battle was fierce, we all lived. (Which is true, but we also suffered head wounds from getting kicked by…
  • I went to SXSW and all I made was this lousy video

    drewdernavich
    17 Mar 2014 | 5:54 pm
    I went to the South by Southwest music festival in Austin, TX last week. My expert analysis is that it was a blast (you can probably go elsewhere for longer and better writing about the event). I saw a ton of great music, some of which I captured on my now-long-defunct-but-still-working Flip camera. A lot of the good moments never made it to video: Lucius at the Paste day party, St. Vincent’s suddenly electric stage show, two guys somehow colliding and then hugging while crowd surfing at Grackle, an out-of-town after-hours party DJed by Matthew Dear blanketed in dry ice, all the shows…
  • Trapped!

    drewdernavich
    11 Mar 2014 | 3:38 am
    What does this post have to do with R. Kelly? Nothing, really. But keep reading anyway. Awkward situations always make great comedy. For my cartoon that appears in this week’s New Yorker, I was thinking about those performers who get right in your face on the subway and demand that you pay attention to them. Of course, you never ever want to do that. What would happen if one of them found a way to get sweet revenge, and to confront you in a place where you couldn’t merely look away or pretend that they weren’t there? I thought of a situation where a singer somehow followed a…
  • Work in Progress

    drewdernavich
    19 Feb 2014 | 4:22 pm
    This pylon is going to be here for a long time, because I’ve only just started working on my first children’s book. Did you know that? I suppose I should have made some formal kind of announcement. ANNOUNCEMENT: I’ve written a children’s book that’s going to be published by Christy Ottaviano Books, an imprint of Henry Holt, some time in 2015. So yeah, that’s out of the way. I’m illustrating it, too, and I couldn’t be more excited to be doing it. It’s been fun working with Christy so far, even though we’re still in the early stages of…
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    Mommy Wants Vodka

  • What Was Decidedly NOT Brownie Batter

    Your Aunt Becky
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:41 am
    Part I Part II Part III After what felt to be 27 years – but was more likely to have been 27 minutes – I decided that one melting down child (read: me) was enough; it was time to return to our humble room to watch some … whatever people watch in hotels that isn’t porn. When I’d skinned the kids of their wet suits, much to their vocal displeasure, I noted that they were covered tip to tail in a rash. Attributing it to over-chlorination, I felt, for the first time, pleased with the hotel. We all know kids whiz in pools with alarming frequency and by the rashes on their bodies, I…
  • Twi Hard

    Your Aunt Becky
    18 Mar 2014 | 9:06 am
    Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I may have also seen every movie opening night.” Me: …sputters… (eye twitches) Lauren: “Haha.” Me: (googles “how to understand Twilight if you haven’t read it,” then thoughtfully erases it from the search box in case someone wandered by and accidentally saw that I’d googled anything about…
  • Things Unsaid Today

    Your Aunt Becky
    13 Mar 2014 | 10:15 am
    “I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care to count. She needs a second total knee replacement now; she told me that your mom does, too. Sucks watching our parents get older, doesn’t it? Fuck, it sucks getting older – period.” “You’ve been on your own Medical Mystery Tour – forgot to tell you: I finally had that MRI. I guess I got tired of people making the…
  • Street Fighting (wo)Man

    Your Aunt Becky
    10 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Part I Part II Because I am not only stupid, but dumb too, I can’t back down from a fight. I tried once, but it broke my arm. So when I started getting the hairy eyeball for daring to sit on an unoccupied chair adorned with an unused beach towel, my fake-rock bruised ass was absofuckinglutly ready for the Thunderdome. Wearily, I hummed Eye of the Tiger and was all “I know EXACTLY what roadkill feels like” as the entire row of vultures, er, people in the chairs in front of me got up, one by one, and began to form a semi-circle around one man who appeared, from my vantage…
  • Panic! At the Pool!

    Your Aunt Becky
    26 Feb 2014 | 10:06 am
    Part I After wandering through the endless labyrinth of badly-carpeted halls while lugging the absolute most amount of crap I’ve ever packed for a trip, finally, we reached our room. The kids, by this time, were weeping from hunger, and I’d begun to shake although I couldn’t say for certain if it was low blood sugar, horror at the prices of a cup of entirely mediocre coffee, or as an aftereffect of the cacophony of the lobby. Eyes set forward on an unfixed mark way down at the end of the hallway, I set my mouth into a thin line and said to no one in particular, “We’d better get…
 
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    Iced Borscht Iced Borscht

  • Totem Song of the Moment

    MC
    18 Apr 2014 | 3:16 pm
  • On the Playlist Lately

    MC
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:40 am
    Iggy Pop – Isolation from hibergate on Vimeo.
  • TuesLinks

    MC
    15 Apr 2014 | 4:36 pm
    Company Unveils Pot Vending Machine in Colorado Daniel Kalder reviews Retroworld and discusses why he hates Star Trek Ghandi‘s Letter to Hitler, 1939 How Medical Marijuana is Helping California Children With Epilepsy “The Vanishing Yokel,” by Jim Goad: “As Americans get more tightly packed into sprawling megalopolises, what coastal snobs dismiss as ‘flyover country’ is rapidly devolving into one giant ghost town. What used to be known as Middle Americans are now called extremists. The heartland has become the hinterlands. One of the biggest cultural…
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    12 Most

  • 12 Most Debilitating Hiring Mistakes Small Businesses Make

    Brad Farris
    18 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Brad Farris     Hiring is hard. When you are a business owner and you don’t have an HR department to help you or a boss to train you, you can make a lot of terrible hiring mistakes. Here are 12 that we’ve seen over and over… 1. Hiring friends This is actually two […]
  • 12 Most Inescapable Leadership Teachings

    David M. Dye
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By David M. Dye Leadership is a journey where the first steps are often the most difficult. Throughout that journey you learn through your own experiences and the lessons of others. However, those early lessons are often the most critical. These 12 most inescapable leadership teachings are a combination of both types of learning: wisdom […]
  • 12 Most Critical Reasons Students Need a Clean Online Presence

    Monica Matthews
    16 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Monica Matthews   Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+ and more. So many social media sites, so little time! Actually, in this crazy-busy world that we live in, people are finding time to spend on these sites and as a result, are creating an online presence for themselves. What many students don’t realize is […]
  • 12 Most Disastrous Mistakes to Avoid At All Costs When Dating After Divorce

    Bernice McDonald
    15 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Bernice McDonald   “Go out and find someone new,” they tell you. Sure. Sounds simple — to someone who has never been through it. Your marriage came to a disastrous end and that hurt. Being alone for the rest of your life doesn’t appeal to you. But that means you are about to be plunged […]
  • 12 Most Unnecessary Mistakes New Entrepreneurs Make

    John Pilmer
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By John Pilmer     Starting your own business can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in your life. It can also be stressful, frustrating, and at times feel like a terrible decision. Luckily, you can learn from those who have gone before you, and avoid making these 12 common mistakes. 1. Waiting too […]
 
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    20 Apr 2014 | 11:50 pm
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    20 Apr 2014 | 11:50 pm
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    20 Apr 2014 | 11:50 pm
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    20 Apr 2014 | 11:50 pm
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    20 Apr 2014 | 11:50 pm
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
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    UrlyBits

  • Game of Goats – The Game Of Thrones Theme Never Sounded Better!

    Paul O'Flaherty
    11 Apr 2014 | 11:50 am
    Sara just hates it when I sing along to the Game of Thrones theme tune ... "game of... game of thrones... game of throoooones...."... I just might start playing this on my phone instead... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6tKZ-cg4RI
  • Right Guard Xtreme Clear – Because Everyone Hates The White Stuff

    Paul O'Flaherty
    31 Mar 2014 | 6:11 pm
    Disclosure: Sponsored Post You've been there guys! You jump out of the shower, throw on  your favorite slacks and black shirt and head off down to the pub to meet your mates and watch the game. You're happy as the proverbial pig, but just before you walk in the door you look down and see these two big white streaks of sticky junk on the sides of your shirt. What happened? What will the ladies think? There's no way you're pulling tonight! Antiperspirant residue is the bane of many blokes lives, even mine. Thankfully my beautiful wife makes fun of me before I leave the house so I get to avoid…
  • Fearless Puppy Defends The Food Bowl From A Much Larger Dog

    Paul O'Flaherty
    27 Mar 2014 | 7:39 am
    Looking for a little bit of cute to brighten your day? Let this little puppy be your inspiration as it fearlessly defends the food bowl from it's much larger housemate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU6lLMz9OXg
  • Bad Timing British Airways

    Paul O'Flaherty
    27 Mar 2014 | 7:25 am
    There’s a time and a place for everything, but considering how recently Malaysia Airlines flight 370 was lost, I think this was definitely the wrong timing for this British Airways advert.Have you visited UrlyBits today?Posted by Paul to UrlyBits, 2014. | Permalink to Bad Timing British Airways
  • Christopher Walken Dance Now

    Paul O'Flaherty
    20 Mar 2014 | 10:39 am
    Ben Craw created this awesome Christopher Walken dance mashup for the HuffPo. The more I watch this video, the more I am reminded that Christopher Walken never appears to be "all there" - if you know what I mean. LOL Also, I was surprised not to see any clips of Walken from the Fatboy Slim "Weapon of Choice" music video, so I've embedded that below for more Walken pleasure :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNaau2uPFqI Fatboy Slim - "Weapon of Choice" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Short funny jokes-Rebirth

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Patrick, the pervert, is praying hard, "Jesus, if there really is such a thing as rebirth, then I would like to return as a women's bicycle seat."
  • A score above 100%

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dr. Jones had served many years as an Obstetrician/gynecologist, but he felt he had reached a saturation point. His mind was no longer in his job. He wanted to do something else for the rest of his life. Dr. Jones had a fascination for mechanical things and remembered he enjoyed automotive training in school and, therefore decided to go in for a career change and to become an auto mechanic. He enrolled at an automotive school.He completed the course and was required to appear for the final exams. The physical exam consisted of taking a car engine apart and then putting it back together. Dr.
  • Funny jokes-Use of money

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Two college students, Desmond and Kurt, were walking on the pavement when they were approached by a beggar asking for money.Kurt tries to shoo him away, but Desmond takes out his wallet, pulls out a few bills and hands them to the beggar. The beggar thanks him and moves on.Kurt is annoyed by his friend's act of charity "Why the hell did you do that?" yells Kurt. "You know he's only going to use it on alcohol or drugs!"Desmond replies, "What...and we weren't?"
  • Angry boy

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    The angry boy tells the girl after a night of passionate love-making, "My name is Rob, and not Billy, or Andrew or Jack or Ron or Jeremy or any of the other names you've been screaming all night!"The girl replies, "Hey, I wasn't screaming out anybody else's name during our intercourse. I was just thinking of baby names, if I were to get pregnant.
  • Really funny jokes-Getting really old

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    My grandpa said to me, "I guess I am getting really old after all."I asked, "What happened'?Grandpa grumbled, "I went to Kaka's antique auction and four people bid on me!"
 
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    Nebulous Mooch

  • Using a Tape Gun

    Lovelyn
    7 Apr 2014 | 1:30 pm
    You would think using a tape gun would be easy. Well it’s not. It’s especially not easy when your dog is barking at you because he doesn’t like the tape gun. Maybe he thinks it’s a real gun. Maybe he just senses my stress and would like to add to it. I bought a tape gun because everyone seems to think that using one will make it so much easier to pack the millions of boxes I have to ship out everyday. I was excited when I got it because I’m all about simplifying my life. Anyway, it should be called a make-all-the-tape-crooked-and-bumpy gun because that’s…
  • When Life Give You Lemons … Dry Them

    Lovelyn
    31 Mar 2014 | 8:40 am
    Do you remember when Martha Stewart spent time in prison? I’m not sure if she was convicted of insider trader or making me feel guilty about the state of my house. Personally, I think the latter offense deserves a much longer sentence than she actually got. When she was released from prison a reporter asked her what she missed most while she was in the joint and Stewart responded, “Lemons.” When the reporter asked if that was it she said, “Just lemons. Oh and my friends and family of course.” Some people thought that her response was cold hearted. How could you…
  • My Whole Vagina

    Lovelyn
    27 Mar 2014 | 11:15 am
    My husband plays a church gig on Sundays and because he doesn’t know any of the songs they sing, the pastor sends him songs to listen to each week. It’s funny because if anyone followed him on Spotify they’d think that he listens to religious music all the time. Anyway the lyrics of one of the songs he was listening to last week were almost impossible to decipher. Singers really should try to enunciate so we know what they’re talking about. After listening to the chorus a million times I think I finally figured out the words. My whole vagina My provider You hold my…
  • In the Doghouse

    Lovelyn
    24 Mar 2014 | 7:30 am
    Chompyface is in the doghouse today and he doesn’t even seem to realize it because he just keeps looking at me and wagging his tail. His tail wagging tricks and soft half floppy ears won’t get me this time though. Last night he was up to no good. When we first got him he couldn’t be trusted around food at all. Anything out in the open seemed like fair game to him, but we’d since trained him out of the habit of trying to eat our food or at least I thought we’d trained him out of it. Last night’s dinner was suppose to be a delicious combination of salmon…
  • A Special Offer

    Lovelyn
    25 Feb 2014 | 7:27 pm
    So I got an email from my internet provider the other day, and I was excited to open it because it said it contained a special offer. I was hoping that they’d decided to provide me with a lifetime of free massages and fancy imported cheeses. No luck. Instead they were offering me cable with DVR, internet, and phone service for the low price of $119 a month. I laughed out loud when I read it. Who uses a phone anymore? Except for me. I think we’re the only people in the world under 75 who has a home number. Who watches TV anymore? Except for me on Sundays at my parents house. Who…
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    http://www.dangatorium.com/

  • Why The Internet Is Not Your Friend But Rather Your Shitty Co-Worker You Don't Respect

    11 Apr 2014 | 1:54 pm
    The internet loves to talk shit about people It loves to corner you on Monday and tell you why The Walking Dead is “Best. Show. Ever.” It loves showing you pictures of cats. It thinks mustaches are funny. It loves to talk about its “socially liberal; fiscally conservative” views. It’s not really a “reader” It will say something sarcastic followed by “- said no one ever!” It blogs  It takes itself very very seriously. Desperately wants you to think it’s smart and cool.
  • David Letterman: The Last Grownup In Comedy

    4 Apr 2014 | 10:52 am
    Excerpt from New York Magazine Article (Peter W. Kaplan, Sept. 2009) Somehow, without anyone looking, David Letterman has superseded the usual TV categories of comic, or talk-show host, or broadcaster. He paces the stage at night worrying about the Afghan-election recount and generally free-associating about the flies and vultures flapping around in his head. His nightly broadcast from Broadway has become a weird and great American entity unto itself, a blurred throwback, an amalgam of the tradition he came from: Johnny Carson, Edward Murrow, Jack Paar. And the most middle-American of…
  • @BillDixonish

    25 Mar 2014 | 11:28 am
    @BillDixonish
  • Andy Sandford's "me the whole time" Out Today

    25 Feb 2014 | 6:26 pm
    Andy Sandford's "me the whole time" Out Today: Dangatorium Contributor Andy Sandford has a comedy album and it is so fucking out today.
  • Photo

    24 Feb 2014 | 5:04 pm
 
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    The D-MAIL

  • LOST - Rewritten

    'D'
    9 Apr 2014 | 9:57 am
    The whole world is abuzz and curious to find out more about the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Every media source is on the job, sending their best journalists, Psychics and swimmers to the probable sites. What they don't know is that the plane crashed just on the outskirts of the Banana Republic, our home base. Now, after decades of keeping the spot a secret, secreter than the Bat-cave, which is still underground at 221B Boiler Street (Sorry Bats), we're under the moral and ethical dilemma. The question here is, should we announce the crash site of the plane and risk revealing our hide-out or…
  • It's Time To Get Serious!

    'D'
    31 Oct 2013 | 10:30 am
    The Dark Metamorphic Amorphous Illicit Literature, yeah, The D-Mail. So basically, all this time we made you laugh, we provided you with puns and innovation in Language with our torture techniques, but I guess with time, everything changes; and it's definitely time for us to become something bigger, something Better. And so, we have for you a new kind of posts. This Label puts D'N'A at their wit's end. Of course, you'll see the classic puns and humor sprinkles, but we're moving to a new realm, that of Seriousness, a very serious kind of Humor. The kind that makes you laugh...then think and…
  • Confession Congestion

    'D'
    17 May 2013 | 8:04 am
    Bless me Father, for I have sinned.... I know you're a busy man, but please take time to listen to my confession...After Angry birds, Justin Bieber, Gangnam Style and the ilk, We Attention Seeking Super-agitated (ASS) kids are rooting for a new trend, Confession Pages. I know an old-timer like you wouldn't know much about confessions so I'll have to be explicit, yet brief (you never know when an old-timer would clock-out):One of the most sacred and traditional practices starts off with His Most 'Hole'yness, The Admin, an insomniac jobless nerd creating a page on a social network and The…
  • How to Fool the Salesman

    'D'
    24 Sep 2012 | 8:07 am
    Face it, You've been there, I've been there. There's no end to Travelling Salesmen. No end to their techniques. Thousands are fooled and millions are pestered from their quiet evenings by these blood-sucking maggots. How many time d'you hear "Good Evening Sir, TODAY we're giving away free...." or "We're conducting a survey...."? The intention is to Surprise you or (in our words) BAIT you and when you fall for it, at the right time, they move in for the kill "ALL this is complementary, you just have to buy..." or "This is a One Time offer for only....". I hope you get the gist of what I'm…
  • Me Me and More Memes

    'D'
    27 Jul 2012 | 9:26 am
    Well If you thought we're gonna stop at that (The ten odd memes we posted), then you're wrong. We're gonna pour out our hearts through memes so that you get tired of them and start making an effort to READ (you lazy oafs). Here's to a healthy internet life.. All the information provided on the website is for entertainment purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our writings. If anyone…
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    Joanna Ryde - International Superstar

  • Suirvivor Challenge

    20 Apr 2014 | 3:06 pm
    Suirvivor Challenge is like an obstacle course with lots of muck so I thought it’d be great fun to get stuck in and give it a go however I got injured and it didn’t really work out in the end! But I did the interview and that’s all that matters isn’t it? NO? www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Eurovision 2014 - Moldova

    20 Apr 2014 | 1:52 pm
    This is Cristina Scarlet with Wild Soul. The video is a bit odd. It’s some form of synchronised swimmer vibe mixed with Madonna’s Frozen. Fair play to Moldova, they seem to be giving it a good go lately. They had the girl with the light up dress last year that I really liked. This one has a dubstep breakdown during the chorus and you know how much I like a bit of dubstep. If Skrillex was to enter the Eurovision he’d clearly win, although in saying that, this isn’t as good as the Armenia song. She’s mad for the wild soul this one. Ah it’s grand, not the worst although not the best.
  • OMG!

    20 Apr 2014 | 12:42 pm
    Things that make you say.....OMG OH MY GOD   www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Morocco

    19 Apr 2014 | 7:00 am
    So here’s the story! I went on holiday to Spain and I thought to myself it’d be nice to have a little day trip to Tangier in Morocco! That’d be a great idea I thought. It wasn’t. Let’s just say things didn’t go according to plan and I soon found myself on the wrong arm of the Moroccan law. Things sorted themselves out although I’ve been left emotionally scared from my experience! www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Sign Language

    19 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    I was doing garden work this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realised that I couldn't find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, "Where is the rake?" She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?" I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. Then my wife wasn't sure and said "What?" I repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake" My wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch.
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    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • Who throws out a giraffe statue? Or....who BUYS a giraffe statue?

    Lori Culwell
    19 Apr 2014 | 5:40 pm
    via Instagram
  • We Try Disgusting Foods. Watch Our Reactions!

    Lori Culwell
    14 Apr 2014 | 11:21 am
    Oh yes, we did another video. In this edition, we sample foods that seem like they are going to be disgusting. Surprise! They are. Please watch this to see our reactions.
  • More Video Funny!

    Lori Culwell
    7 Apr 2014 | 4:50 pm
    Thank you ever so much for your kind reception of our video that I put up on Friday.  Because the winter was so very, very long, of course we made more than one of these delightful videos, and here is the next one in the series.   Here we are covering actors who were so psycho in film/ tv roles, we are surprised they worked again.  Does it surprise you that I would bring up Ted Levine from Silence of the Lambs?  It should not.  He haunts my dreams.
  • Four Embarrassing Commercials

    Lori Culwell
    4 Apr 2014 | 11:03 am
    Hey look!  We used our time trapped inside during the never-ending winter of 2014 to make some video funny.  In case you're curious, we have the video equipment already from this tutorial series I have been making (and a course that I am working on).  We have alot of opinions, and we thought it would be fun to share them with you. Yes, I know that my hat makes it looks like I have dreadlocks.
  • Um.....why? If I wanted tortilla chips, wouldn't I just eat those?

    Lori Culwell
    3 Apr 2014 | 8:19 pm
    via Instagram
 
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    Older Women Rock

  • Alcohol getting you down? For Those Tired of Being Sick and Tired

    Lilac Lily
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:40 am
    Alcohol promises so much doesn't it?     We have been manipulated, programmed and hoodwinked by a media that brainwashes us into believing that guzzling alcohol will make us look sexy, cool, rich and just plain successful. What adshows a sloppy drunk, that looks like hell, buying their beer?  But hey, you have been asleep in a nightmare long ago.  Hasn't this boring addiction taken enough of your precious time? I know you have tried. Why is it that often, when you are at your best, the dark cloud of temptation comes over you like a…
  • Dare to D-R-E-A-M. What the heck do you have to lose?

    Lilac Lily
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:38 am
    Thinking, "Ok, yea, be more positive!  I have tried and it does not work. How do i do it? Collect inspiring wisdom every day. Start with this if you like, I have changed it a bit for more personal impact: “When I advance confidently in the direction of MY DREAMS, and endeavor to live the life which I imagine, I meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I have put some things behind me, and have passed an invisible boundary; New, Universal, and more Liberal laws will begin to establish themselves AROUNDand within him; old laws ARE NOW Expanded, and Interpreted in MY Favor  in…
  • From the Waltz to Twerking

    Lilac Lily
    29 Jan 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Now that we got a leg up, so to speak, in our society, why do these females use it to climb up a pole or follow the new crone;  twerking?  Why this groveling to please a less intelligent humanoid? Females pumping those check butts up and down with half their tongue sticking out, making anyone that happens to be in the same vicinity, embarrassed.  What the hell happened? Its sad when even the cheek butts look more embarrassed at being exposed this way than these clueless females!  At these rate they will be licking the floor soon, and competing at who does it better.
  • Binge-Viewing is so much fun I am surprised it's not illegal!

    Lilac Lily
    24 Dec 2013 | 12:11 pm
    So finally some technology that I can definately get behind. Binge Viewing Fans! Binge watching pillow by Bloomwhereurplanted Check out other Binge viewing Pillows at zazzle.com What can be more delicious than  an evening watching seasons of  favorite program with no commercials in pajamas?  If they had told me a life without any type of TV commercials would  be possible not so long ago, I would have said "dream on you fool!" This is really a life changer as far as TV watching is concerned.   This is serious. The Oxford Dictionaries announced the…
  • Dare to D-R-E-A-M. What the heck do you have to lose?

    Lilac Lily
    10 Jul 2013 | 12:42 pm
    Thinking, "Ok, yea, be more positive!  I have tried and it does not work. How do i do it? Collect inspiring wisdom every day. Start with this if you like, I have changed it a bit for more personal impact: “When I advance confidently in the direction of MY DREAMS, and endeavor to live the life which I imagine, I meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I have put some things behind me, and have passed an invisible boundary; New, Universal, and more Liberal laws will begin to establish themselves AROUNDand within him; old laws ARE NOW Expanded, and Interpreted in MY Favor  in…
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    Funny pictures and photos

  • Cute rabbit picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    5 Apr 2014 | 10:56 am
    Hello. I am pretty sure you loved animals. Everybody will love this cute rabbit and will tell what a cute pet. Don't forget to show it to your friends in Facebook, Twitter, etc. because I am pretty sure it made you smile! :) Also, check out this Cute dog pic.
  • Cool dog illustration

    Plamen Ivanov
    8 Mar 2014 | 2:49 pm
    Hello everybody. Today I am going to show you a cute dog illustration that I am sure you will love! I will also tell you how you can get one easy by a professional: ---> Cool illustration for you
  • Funny dog picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    21 Feb 2014 | 10:41 am
    This is a nice and funny dog pic that will make you smile! Do you love dogs? They are so cute animals. I am sure you will like this cute dog photo where the husky things it's fat...By the way, here are a few very good weight loss tips.
  • Funny computer picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    31 Jan 2014 | 9:07 am
    Hello. I found one really nice and funny computer pic... It will show what will happen if somebody is addicted to his PC... Share with friends!By the way, this is a great article that will show you how to fix all your PC problems: How to clean your computer.
  • Funny cartoon picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    16 Jan 2014 | 6:21 am
    Hello. This funny cartoon pic will make you smile for sure. It's a really nice and it describes how can a duck shoot a man! I am sure you will like it...Also, check another cool and funny cat pic.
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pirate Therapy

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Apr 2014 | 12:30 pm
    Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a blood-curdling scream, and then a thump. A … Continue reading →
  • Lucinda at the Laundrette of Shattered Hope

    Mark A. Rayner
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:32 am
    Lucinda was a dreamer. Someday, she knew that her Mom would return with the waffle iron and say she was sorry; perhaps even share her delicious recipe for Translucent Liquid Essence of Bran. She watched as Betsy came back to … Continue reading →
  • Ask General Kang: If my foreign policy is a failure, do I have to admit it?

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Apr 2014 | 6:51 am
    Hell no! If you can’t blame the failures of your policy on some flunky (or opposition party, if you’re unlucky enough to be ruling in a “democracy”) then what kind of leader are you? The best option is to say … Continue reading →
  • Death by gluten

    Mark A. Rayner
    2 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Alltop is chewy with humor.
 
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    Chandra Clarke

  • Dogged Determination

    Chandra Clarke
    13 Apr 2014 | 11:57 pm
    Chandra Clarke This week, from the department of teaching old dogs new tricks: Bonnie Bergin wants you to teach your dog to read. Bergin, who is well-respected as a dog trainer and who also has a background in human education, says the idea isn’t as far… er… fetched as you might think. She reminds us that dogs […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Down The Garden Path

    Chandra Clarke
    20 Mar 2014 | 5:15 pm
    Chandra Clarke It seemed like a good idea at the time. The first item on my “to do” list today was “fix up garden.” Having done most of the hard work last fall, it was just a matter of clearing out winter debris, pulling a few stray plants, and planting the spring bulbs. Two hours work, tops, […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Stupid Is As Stupid Doesn’t

    Chandra Clarke
    6 Mar 2014 | 9:13 am
    Chandra Clarke File this one under “if only.” Some time ago, German scientist, Hans-Hilger Ropers, announced he was testing a pill that reduces the hyperactivity of certain brain cells, which in turn stabilizes short term memory and improves attentiveness. The researcher claims to have used it successfully with fruit flies and mice; a German newspaper dubbed it […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Pluto, We Hardly Knew Ye

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Feb 2014 | 8:10 am
    Chandra Clarke As anyone who works in academia can tell you, researchers get into bitter fights over obscure things all the time. Archeologists clash over the dating of Mongolian pottery sherds. Entomologists can come to blows when discussing the mating rituals of a nursery spider. Network theorists, meanwhile, will have Hatfield vs. McCoy style fights over clustering […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Tales From The Crib

    Chandra Clarke
    8 Feb 2014 | 10:09 pm
    Chandra Clarke The healthcare industry uses a lot of euphemisms. You’ll be familiar with many of these: A doctor will tell you “this may sting a bit,” right before jabbing you with a six-inch needle. The warning label on your prescription will mention “some side effects,” which might include stroke, heart attack or seizures. Getting a private […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
 
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    stuffwecomeupwit

  • Volkswagen Service Excellence

    stuffwecomeupwit
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:31 am
    Volkswagen Service Excellence   At the present time, modern cars require more maintenance than before and increasingly the customers are complaining about the quality of services that automakers offer, along with the high prices to service their cars. People tend to seek for a certified and experienced technician but unfortunately they don’t get them and the service.  This is the reason I’ve decided to l talk to you about Volkswagen new program called Volkswagen Service Excellence, its offering competitive services and programmes to keep your car performing at its peak. Even the…
  • Total Lubricants Nissan

    stuffwecomeupwit
    16 Apr 2014 | 8:14 am
    Total Lubricants Lubricants play a major role in the functioning of powerful turbo engines, they help to optimize vehicle performance, protect the engine and avoiding wear and deposits. Total Lubricants is one of the most recognized lubricants brands worldwide, known for performance and innovation, it has lately made a new technological partnership with Nissan to include the innovative prototype Nissan ZEOD RC, this latest partnership confirms the giant reputation and the innovative strategy of Total which based mainly on producing high quality lubricants. Total is the world’s…
  • Shell Helix Campaign – Win a F1 Trip With Shell Helix

    stuffwecomeupwit
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:34 am
  • Emirates Airlines: Cristiano Ronaldo named as Global Ambassador

    stuffwecomeupwit
    7 Apr 2014 | 6:09 am
    Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid forward, Portuguese captain and winner of the FIFA Ballon d’Or 2013, becomes Emirates Global Ambassador, it’s what the Official FIFA Worldwide Partner announced in the press conference, held in Madrid, the airline also premiered a new campaign video featuring the football superstar alongside Brazilian legend and fellow Global Ambassador for Emirates, Pelé. The most expensive and highest-paid footballer in the world, Cristiano, has being chosen to represent the Airline to be their newest Global Ambassador, we can see him along with football legend Pelé…
  • Henkel – Detergents & Disinfectants

    stuffwecomeupwit
    3 Apr 2014 | 8:10 am
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    The Daft Gadgets Daily Rant

  • RC Vehicle Will Not Start When Starter Cord is Pulled

    Jason Scott
    1 Apr 2014 | 5:32 am
    Concern: My vehicle will not start up when I pull the starter cable. Solution: The initial point that lots of brand-new owners of Nitro Cars should understand is that a Glow Plug Igniter is required. The Glow Plug Igniter needs to be completely charged before affixing it to the glow plug. If it is totally charged and it is affixed to the Glow Plug a good connection will be made. Secondly, if the above is done correctly you need to inspect to see if the problem is that gas is reaching the carburetor. This can be accomplished by holding your finger over the exhaust opening and providing a…
  • RC Air Filters: A Quick Tip on Protecting Your Redcat Racing Engine

    Jason Scott
    24 Mar 2014 | 5:50 am
    Be it a gas or nitro engine, the most vital thing you can do is keep the evil dirt and wetness out. Dirt is the most harmful predator to a gas or nitro engine and we can keep it out with correct air filter upkeep. Keep your air filter clean and make use of air filter pretreatment oil. A Clean air filter A clean redcat air filter permits your engine to breathe effectively. A blocked air filter will trigger an engine to run rich, which will not harm the engine, simply trigger poor efficiency. If the filter is covered in dirt, it might trigger some air to slip into small spaces in between the…
  • 10 Quick and Easy RC Racing and Setup Techniques

    Jason Scott
    17 Mar 2014 | 9:30 am
    Great ideas from rccaraction.com on how you can prepare and setup for a race. 1. Neutral Setup Go with the box-stock setups and set up the popular tires at your track. When you do begin making modifications, make one at a time and see how it affects or improves your car’s performance. As you get a feel for the track design and your vehicle, gradually make your setup more aggressive. 2. Standards After your race, don’t focus too much on your lap times. When your average lap times get closer to your fastest lap time, you know you are improving. Everything else will fall in place. 3.
  • Using Thread Lock For Redcat Racing Parts and Other RC Hobbies

    Jason Scott
    13 Mar 2014 | 6:06 pm
      Making use of thread lock to secure device screws is typical practice in the RC market. Did you realize cleansing the threads with rubbing alcohol prior to using the thread locker will guarantee a much better bond? RC fuels, shock oils, and greases prevent the thread locker from working correctly, creating a weak bond. This can cause screws falling out and your new Redcat Racing hop ups falling off right in the middle of a race (how annoying) Threadlock is created to be made use of where metal threads are placed into metal threads so it isn’t really extremely efficient on plastic…
  • How to Adjust the Slipper Clutch In Redcat Racing Cars and Trucks

    Jason Scott
    10 Mar 2014 | 5:54 pm
    Numerous RC cars are geared up with a modifiable slipper clutch. This slipper clutch has 2 major functions, the first being security. When adjusted correctly, the slipper clutch secures the whole drive train by providing a little slip throughout high bursts of power or other times the drive train undergoes shock. An example of this would be a crash. The RC vehicle stops, but the motor is still attempting to turn the wheels. An additional example would be landing a jump with your finger on the trigger. The unexpected stop in wheel spin could otherwise strip the gears. Traction control is the…
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    Love and Knuckles

  • I’m Beginning to Understand Spray Tan Addiction

    Kate
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:26 am
    Two weeks ago I had my photo taken. In an effort to look less pasty I got a spray tan. I jammed myself into a makeshift tent, disrobed, and had a complete stranger point a spray gun at my crevices so I could look like I had actually seen the sun. I was instructed to wait 12 hours before showering and told to forego a bra so that my new skin cover could dry evenly. My husband was horrified that his normally fair wife had suddenly turned into Magda from Something About Mary. “It’s supposed to look less blotchy after I shower tomorrow,” I explained. He waited until the next…
  • My Easter With Barry Manilow

    Kate
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:40 pm
    Swifty On Sunday Taylor Swift surprised a fan by showing up unannounced to her bridal shower in Columbus, Ohio. She found the invitation while going through fan mail. “I had no idea it was going to happen,” the bride Gena Gabrielle said on the “Today” show. “[Taylor] said she planned it with her management and her mom. She said it was all worth it because my face was priceless.” I would like to take this opportunity to ask Barry Manilow if he would come to my Easter brunch on Sunday. Barry Me I know it is short notice, but a girl can dream. Here’s…
  • Prince Harry Should Marry Katie Holmes

    Kate
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:58 pm
    Word is Prince Harry’s inner circle is starting to think his current girlfriend Cressida is too carefree to take the position of a royal wife.         “There is a growing feeling among a small section of them that Cressida isn’t the perfect choice for him. I don’t think it’s because there is anything wrong with the relationship or they don’t like her, but there is concern that she is too much of a free spirit to be happy in the royal family long-term. They worry that she wouldn’t be able to fully adapt to that lifestyle. They think…
  • Real Housewives of Orange County Premiere Recap

    Kate
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:22 pm
    Heather’s Manor Heather Dubrow, Duchess of Crystal Cove has been spending the last few months building her new mansion in the hills of Newport Coast. Spelling Manor Adjacent will be 17,000 square feet and include a motorcade, beauty salon, marble pillars, and a library filled with encyclopedias and old Murder She Wrote VHS tapes. But until then she and her family are huddling together in a modest rental home with sweeping beach views and a 4-car garage. It has forced them to see each other and communicate, which frustrates Terry. He preferred their old house, which was so large…
  • Is Mariah Carey Holding Nick Cannon Hostage?

    Kate
    14 Apr 2014 | 1:13 pm
    Help me figure this out. Is Nick Cannon a trooper for dressing up in elaborate costumes or currently being held hostage by Mariah Carey? This guy’s got balls, I’ve thought. He’s always willing to turn it out for Halloween. Willing to suit up as a carton of milk so she can find a way to dress up like a scantily clad chocolate chip cookie. You want me to wear heavy fireman equipment so you can be a sexy fire lady? Sure, my butterfly princess.             But I am guessing side pony day was not his idea.            …
 
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    The Idle Lord

  • One Foot in the Sawdust

    Steve
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:47 am
    I saw this on Facebook courtesy of Animal Rights UK and make no apologies for showing this to my worldwide audience, which is probably about as small as the remaining African lions. On further research this story dates back three years so maybe someone has got it in for the weasel in the picture; on […] Continue reading ... One Foot in the Sawdust.
  • The Beautiful Old Game of Cricket

    Steve
    11 Apr 2014 | 6:09 am
    English fans are used to getting stuffed by the Dutch, but normally at football and not cricket. After a winter tour that the English Cricket Board (ECB) would like to forget, defeat by Holland in the World T20 was almost predictable. Complacency was a word trotted out in the aftermath and perhaps this emanates from […] Continue reading ... The Beautiful Old Game of Cricket.
  • In A Land of Make Believe

    Steve
    4 Apr 2014 | 8:47 am
    Strangely, I woke up singing the other morning. Even worse was the song – “Land of Make Believe” by Bucks Fizz, the original contrived band, pre-dating anything Simon Cowell has come up with. How does a song as bland as this stay in your head without the aid of LSD…which I have never taken…Mum! And […] Continue reading ... In A Land of Make Believe.
  • Rise Up My City of Ruins

    Steve
    27 Mar 2014 | 10:29 am
    My Hometown I am a Bradfordian, born and bred, still living in this tired old place although long since able to admit to being proud to do so. It’s my home and yet admitting to this has, for many years now, opened me and countless others up to much lampooning and the occasional dose of […] Continue reading ... Rise Up My City of Ruins.
  • No Country for Grumpy Old Men

    Steve
    21 Mar 2014 | 10:28 am
    Do we get grumpy when we get to a certain age? Or is it that we simply feel the need to question more about everyday life as we get older and more understanding of that which just does not seem right anymore? My dad always seemed to moan like hell – admittedly, usually when The […] Continue reading ... No Country for Grumpy Old Men.
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    Barb Best

  • I Feel Your Pain

    Barb Best
    15 Apr 2014 | 12:13 pm
      “My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain.” ― Charles Chaplin     What’s causing your PAIN today? Some suggestions: Taxes, taxes, and more taxes – especially if you live in NJ, NY, CA, or CT! Toenail fungus removal Pet DNA registration […] The post I Feel Your Pain appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 25 MORE Reasons I DON’T Sleep!

    Barb Best
    10 Apr 2014 | 10:02 am
      Damn, I’m tired!  Are you, too? Are YOU getting enough sleep? What keeps YOU up at night? 25 MORE Reasons I Can’t Sleep! 1) Dog needs to pee. 2) I need to pee… again. 3) The cat suffers from restless leg syndrome and is kicking me in the private parts. 4) Celebrity baby names […] The post 25 MORE Reasons I DON’T Sleep! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Erma Bombeck * Mirth Mother

    Barb Best
    5 Apr 2014 | 4:26 am
      THANK YOU ERMA! We baby boomers share a common “Mirth Mother” in beloved humorist and best selling author Erma Bombeck. We were weaned on Erma’s wise and witty columns via newspaper clippings that our mothers proudly posted on the refrigerator door (this served as a blog in ancient times.) While many of our mothers […] The post Erma Bombeck * Mirth Mother appeared first on Barb Best.
  • AATH: Send In The Clowns

    Barb Best
    28 Mar 2014 | 8:55 am
      Send in the clowns! AATH is The Association for Applied & Therapeutic Humor - THE home for humor and laughter professionals. Their 27th annual humor conference is April 3-6 in Vincennes, Indiana.             Everyone loves to laugh, but did you know that therapeutic humor is a valuable tool to […] The post AATH: Send In The Clowns appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Spring Cleaning for Slobs

    Barb Best
    20 Mar 2014 | 3:45 am
      HAPPY SPRING! IT MUST BE SPRING SOMEWHERE – AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS… SPRING CLEANING FOR SLOBS! UGH! I HATE CLEANING AS MUCH AS YOU DO. BUT IT’S TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING WHEN… 1.   The icy dirt on your wood floors is starting to defrost. 2.   You can write a YA trilogy in […] The post Spring Cleaning for Slobs appeared first on Barb Best.
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Old Lady Death Cake

    Amy Vansant
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:13 am
    Some people sleep easy at night, safe in the knowledge that when they grow old, their kids will take care of them. Those are the rules: You feed and diaper your child, and when you get old, it’s payback time. But some people don’t have kids, either by choice or circumstance. Some people do have kids, but those bundles of joy grew into self-centered ingrates who should have been traded to the circus for a trick llama. At least the llama wouldn’t have run away to Costa Rica to start a “surf band.” At least the llama could have been rented out for…
  • New Book! Moms Are Nuts – Great Mother’s Day Gift!

    Amy Vansant
    9 Apr 2014 | 5:37 am
    New Book – Chock Full o’ Humor You want to see a SUPERSTAR line up of 26 humor writers? Wendi Aarons | Eliza Bayne | Dylan Brody | Matthew David Brozik | Becky Cardwell | Abbi Crutchfield | Sean Crespo | Gloria Fallon | Carol Ray Hartsell | Abby Heugel | Debbie Kasper | Nancy Davis Kho | Kelcey Kintner | Cathy Ladman | Kurt Luchs  | Kelly Maclean | Vanda Mikolowski | Mary Laura Philpott | Lisa Page Rosenberg | Marinka | Arlene Schindler | Molly Schoemann | Susan Stobbart Shapiro | Suzy Soro | Amy Vansant | Peggy “Pearl” Vork-Zambory | Read More…
  • Dealing with a Niece Infestation

    Amy Vansant
    2 Apr 2014 | 5:45 am
    There’s no reason to be ashamed. A niece infestation can happen to anyone. It doesn’t mean you’re dirty. You just left the door unlocked and now the little buggers are everywhere. Like a glitter snake, shedding its skin as it walks through the door… Often the first sign of a niece infestation is the beeping of a large mini-van backing into your driveway bearing bumper stickers that boast “Soccer Moms Rock!” or “Mom’s Taxi” or “My Other Car is a Box of Franzia.” Nieces are hoarders by nature and always arrive with several…
  • Interview with Impressionist Jim Meskimen

    Amy Vansant
    26 Mar 2014 | 9:51 am
    If you’re a fan of impressionists, you’ve probably marveled at Jim Meskimen! See him there on the right? Hey, you know that guy. He’s that impression guy! Jim gets that a lot, and that’s why he and fellow impressionist Ross Marquand now have a series called The Impression Guys on Soul Pancake, which follows the hilarious trials and tribulations of two impressionists as they struggle to be recognized as real actors, and not just funny voices. You can now watch the full first season on YouTube. Did you know Jim was on Who’s Line is it Anyway? and America’s…
  • Duolingo Crushes Rosetta Stone

    Amy Vansant
    19 Mar 2014 | 5:16 am
    Learning Spanish: Duolingo vs Rosetta Stone I’ve got this thing where I want to learn Spanish. It never occurred to me to take it in high school or college or grad school… but every couple of years since then, I’ve made some half-assed attempt to learn Spanish.  I tried books, flash cards, reading Spanish dictionaries and leaving telenovelas on all the televisions in the house. I didn’t have the time, money or inclination to get serious and take a class, so I tried to learn on my own time. Failing miserably, of course. I finally broke down and bought the famous…
 
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    lolriot.com

  • How to be awesome in 10 easy steps

    LolRiot!
    3 Apr 2014 | 1:04 am
    Look. We all know bein’ awesome ain’t easy. I’ll bet most of the time you sit back and wonder, “How in the world does that guy do it?” He gets the chicks. He has wicked nunchuck skills… Everyone thinks he’s totally awesome. Well. You no longer have to worry. With this 10 step program you [...]The post How to be awesome in 10 easy steps appeared first on .
  • Car Reviewer Infuriated By Luxury Car

    LolRiot!
    12 Mar 2014 | 4:24 pm
    It’s not often you come across reviews of high priced luxury items and the reviewer is legitimately disgusted and insulted by the product. At first you might think this is a video made by the Onion. Nope, it is a real review by Car Tech via CNET. This review is on the 2012 Aston Martin [...]The post Car Reviewer Infuriated By Luxury Car appeared first on .
  • Louis CK Asks Donald Rumsfeld If He’s A Lizard

    LolRiot!
    24 Feb 2014 | 12:33 am
    Back in 2011 former secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, made the rounds on various popular radio shows in an attempt to promote his memoir. Whoever it was on the Rumsfeld PR team that thought it would be a good idea to put him and Louis CK on the radio at the same time, obviously had [...]The post Louis CK Asks Donald Rumsfeld If He’s A Lizard appeared first on .
  • New Winter Olympics Event: Cat Curling

    LolRiot!
    14 Feb 2014 | 4:19 am
    In an attempt to capture the interest of the massive amount of internet users, the Olympic committee has added a new twist to traditional curling. Cat curling.The post New Winter Olympics Event: Cat Curling appeared first on .
  • Funny Pictures #134 (25 Pics)

    LolRiot!
    13 Dec 2013 | 4:58 pm
    The post Funny Pictures #134 (25 Pics) appeared first on .
 
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach

    Johnny Robish
    20 Apr 2014 | 8:18 pm
    Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach:  A 63-year-old Indian businessman who was having stomach trouble and difficulty going to the bathroom told his doctors he’d swallowed a water bottle cap out of anger after arguing with his wife, but surgery to remove the bottle cap instead revealed 12 small bars of gold, weighing nearly a pound and worth approximately $23,000.  Well, I’ve always heard its good to eat plenty of carats.  Talk about shitting bricks. Miley Cyrus’ Hospitalization Cancels Another Concert:  Miley Cyrus has had to cancel a second concert after being…
  • Creationist Says Dinosaurs Were on Noah’s Ark

    Johnny Robish
    19 Apr 2014 | 8:49 pm
    Creationist Says Dinosaurs Were on Noah’s Ark:  Noted creationist Carl Kerby claims that dinosaurs did accompany Noah on his Ark as the entire world was flooded, but just the younger ones.  If that’s the case, it makes you wonder why Noah didn’t name the boat “Jurassic Ark.”   Nessie Fans Claim Image on Apple Maps is Loch Ness Monster:  Loch Ness monster experts are all a-flurry that they might have located the mysterious Loch Ness monster through an image on Apple Maps which, when zoomed in very tightly, reveals a gargantuan shape with fins swimming in Loch Ness. …
  • Michigan City Hunting Vandal Pooping on Playgrounds

    Johnny Robish
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:59 pm
    Michigan City Hunting Vandal Pooping on Playgrounds:  Residents of one Michigan city are pulling out all the stops to catch a serial pooper who has been despoiling local playground’s sliding boards, even putting up a billboard in an attempt to bring the fecal fiend to justice.  Police have interviewed three suspects, but are focusing on number 2, who’s also considered a “party pooper.”     Home Grocery Deliveries Taking Off:  Trade publications are reporting that companies offering home grocery deliveries, once big money losers, are now catching on and beginning to show a…
  • German Shepherd Gets Jury Summons in New Jersey

    Johnny Robish
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:14 pm
    German Shepherd Gets Jury Summons in New Jersey:  Court officials in New Jersey’s Cumberland County are blaming a computer glitch for a summons that called a 5-year-old German Shepherd to report for jury duty.  Guess this is what passes for a just of your peers in New Jersey.  Critics are warning about the possibility of jury tampering, pointing out how easy it would be to get this juror to sit, shake hands and then roll over, but the judge promised to keep the jury on a short leash and, if necessary, put a tail on the jurors.  After the trail, the dog was awarded “Best in Court.”…
  • North Korea Not Happy With Satirical Salon Ad

    Johnny Robish
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:44 pm
    North Korea Not Happy With Satirical Salon Ad:  North Korea officials are said to be beyond angry after a local London hair salon displayed a poster ad that mocked out Kim Jong-un’s hairdo.  North Korean officials complained to UK authorities that they have seen leader Kim’s hair up-close and it can only be described as “fabulous.”  Sadly, this entire incident could have been avoided had Dennis Rodman taken the time to share some of his fashion expertise with Kim when he visits North Korea.     Phyllis Schlafly Warns Women Paid Same As Men Won’t Find Husbands: …
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    The Laugh Button

  • Bill Hicks explains Easter

    Matt
    19 Apr 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Happy zombie Jesus day Easter! It’s one of the biggest holidays of the year for many across the world. However, just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean we don’t have questions. With that in mind, we’ll let Bill Hicks’ explain it all. Bill Hicks explains Easter appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • “Saturday Night Live” to celebrate 40 years with 3-hour live special

    Matt
    19 Apr 2014 | 7:15 pm
    Turning 40 is a big milestone for anyone. However, it’s equally special for a TV show considering rarely one can say it’s been on the air for that many seasons. With the exception to news programs and sporting events, Saturday Night Live is hands-down one of the longest running TV shows we have. Premiering October […] “Saturday Night Live” to celebrate 40 years with 3-hour live special appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Letterman, Seinfeld, Stewart, Kimmel and others to pay tribute to Don Rickles on Spike TV’s “One Night Only” special

    Danielle Bruno
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:24 am
    Don Rickles began his career way back in the 1950s and 60s and is still going strong today at the age of 87! This just proves that comedy is ageless. Rickles is best known for his venomous brand of insult comedy that has impressed the likes of Frank Sinatra, Johnny Carson, and many other famous […] Letterman, Seinfeld, Stewart, Kimmel and others to pay tribute to Don Rickles on Spike TV’s “One Night Only” special appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • After a series of escalating dares, Will Arnett and Amy Poehler offically announce their divorce

    Phil Rothermich
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:30 pm
    It’s a sad day for two of comedy’s most beloved stars, Will Arnett has officially filed papers to divorce Amy Poehler, People reports. The two had been married since 2003 but the two have been separated since 2012. So I guess this was inevitable. Lastly, Arnett is seeking joint custody of their two sons, Archie […] After a series of escalating dares, Will Arnett and Amy Poehler offically announce their divorce appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Here’s the trailer for season 2 of “Orange Is The New Black”

    Phil Rothermich
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:01 pm
    Netflix has become a real contender for great TV. Not only do they premier new comedy specials often but they also have had some very successful TV series, including the dark comedy Orange is the New Black. The prison “dramedy” got a lot of positive attention in it’s first go around and now they’re pretty […] Here’s the trailer for season 2 of “Orange Is The New Black” appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Carly Bird

  • Trapped in a Room with a ZOMBIE!!

    Carly Walker
    17 Apr 2014 | 11:49 am
    The greatest piece of wisdom I have ever received at work came from my coworker John Shi. What zombie thing you ask? The ‘experience’ is called Trapped in a Room with a Zombie presented by Room Escape Adventures. Yes, there is in fact such a thing as having to problem solve your way out of a room with a zombie in it and for a limited time only you can participate. Don’t ask me details. My zombie team isn’t going until next week. All I know is: The zombie is on a chain that extends every few minutes There is a disclaimer about getting eaton by said zombie You have to…
  • Why You Should Walk Away From Car Salesmen and Mediocre Boyfriends

    Carly Walker
    12 Mar 2014 | 1:21 pm
    A few years ago, I needed a new car. I had finally killed my college vehicle that had become my second home and a loving graveyard for all of my mix tapes and fast food wrappers. Overwhelmed, I quickly went to the nearest dealership and test drove two cars. Within a half hour I was talked into potentially buying an orange Honda Fit by a salesman. Could I get it in the color I wanted? No. Was it long enough for my pencil arms? No. Was it the right price? No. Did it have a hatchback, a good warranty, and smell super nice? Yes. Lets take a second to let the stupidity sink in. I really wanted…
  • 11 Things To Do At Work Besides Working

    Carly Walker
    3 Mar 2014 | 11:55 am
    I lie every Monday morning. Someone gets in the elevator, we awkwardly make eye contact, and a millisecond of silence sets off a chain reaction of default small talk beginning with, “Ah man, back to the daily grind.” The conversation ends with someone grumbling in response at a very low decibel as we shuffle out of the elevator. But let’s be serious. What are we, lumberjacks? What daily thing am I grinding? Why do we say that? Some people have to walk into a coal mine on Monday mornings. I walk into an office with delicate Macbook Air computers and a meeting room with a leather…
  • Westside Wisdom: Hair Hacks From a Fortune Teller

    Carly Walker
    23 Jan 2014 | 1:31 pm
    I decided to start a new series on my blog called West Side Wisdom. Why? Because some of us thought we had street smarts only to move to LA and realize we were useless. Lucky for me, I live in a city that is a smorgosborg of human beings who have mastered life hacks worth noting. As a result, one of my goals this year is to stop looking at my phone when I go places, and start picking the brains of West LA’s finest. Round 1: Hair Hacks From a Fortune Teller I was at a beauty supply store pretending that my hair wasn’t over bleached and suffering from grocery store soap, when I met a…
  • Oh How The Tables Have Turned: An Open Apology to Husbandless Females

    Carly Walker
    2 Jan 2014 | 10:03 am
    “I couldn’t do what you do.” I had a friend tell me the other day as she debated about getting married at the tail end of her senior year of college. Her fear of graduating husbandless was confusing to me, until I remembered the way my brain used to think when I was going to school. For my friends who aren’t familiar with Utah or Idaho culture, a good majority of girls get married off before they graduate. I remember being halfway through school seeing 23-year-olds leave my college without a rock on their hand and thinking, “wow, that would be terrible.” I…
 
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    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Don’t Touch That Cookie

    PBScott
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:24 pm
    Unfortunately in life, many people who know what is right and wrong, still choose the wrong path. Their selfish actions hurt others around them, and causes unnecessary misery. Their victims, unable to avenge themselves, often take comfort in the belief that somewhere down the line, whether in this life or the next, karma will eventually […]
  • Space Invaders At Earls Farm

    PBScott
    17 Feb 2014 | 7:11 pm
    Earl’s and his family have been growing corn at this location for generations now, and are used to having a difficult time with the crops. Recently however, in addition to the normal problems of drought, insects, and birds, Earl now has had to deal with the recurring problem of annual crop circles. We have been […]
  • The Things We Do

    PBScott
    1 Feb 2014 | 3:26 am
    Often throughout life, as I am happily enjoying myself, doing the exact thing that I chose to do at that moment, for some reason, some people will come up to me and ask me why I am doing that thing I am doing. Whether it is playing a video game, going for a walk, reading […]
  • Whistle Another Day

    PBScott
    7 Jan 2014 | 12:53 am
    My grandma asked me something a couple of decades ago now that I still think about from time to time, she asked “Why don’t I ever hear people whistling anymore? Men used to walk down the road whistling a tune in the morning, now it seems nobody does it anymore. Do people still whistle?” I […]
  • Bling Che Guevara Rap – Funny Che Shirt

    PBScott
    11 Dec 2013 | 7:38 pm
    You come with me, and we’ll move to the next border. The Man is after me, cuz I fought the world order. They say that I am a baddie, cause I kicked their ass, I stopped their fund delivery, diminished their stash. They thought they should control us, and that’s why we fought. I now […]
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    Irkitated

  • Why dating a guy with a beard isn't always a good thing

    Ed Irkitated
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:31 pm
    I don't have a beard. Instead, my face has a permanent 3 day stubble. I would say I have it because it makes me look rugged and manly, but in all honesty its just because I'm too damn lazy to shave every day. Plus, I think that if I had a beard I would look homeless.This is a guest post from Krissy who has a boyfriend with a huge beard. She also has her own very funny blog here and talks shit over on Twitter. Follow Irkitated on Social MediaGuest post - Why dating a guy with a beard isn't a good thingI should preface this rant by saying – yes, I'm dating a guy with a beard so…
  • Fashion is stupid

    Ed Irkitated
    15 Apr 2014 | 3:39 pm
    Australian Fashion Week has just wrapped up. I know this because it was all over the TV as everybody tried to get in on the action like it is going out of um... fashion.Every half-assed news network and TV program managed to do a feature from a runway show or launch of something, just so that they can seem like they are on the cutting edge, regardless of how stupid the whole fashion thing is.Apart from "the arts" industry, I have never seen a more ridiculous, idiotic, pathetic waste of time and money, than the bizarre parade of egotistical nutjobs that make up the "high-end" of the fashion…
  • When customer service becomes too much

    Ed Irkitated
    13 Apr 2014 | 4:59 pm
    I have never worked in customer service so I am handing this post to OverQuill who is back with his second guest post. You can find him on Twitter OverQuill. I don't know if he has worked in retail before but I can only assume by the tone of this post that he has.Guest post - When customer service becomes too muchThere's a threshold that exists. It is a wondrous, magical line that instantly transmogrifies any old commoner into a being akin to royalty. The threshold about which I write is not some odd portal that whisks people away and allows them to possess some distant monarch, like a…
  • Things which are more interesting than the Royal visit to Australia

    Ed Irkitated
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:00 pm
    I understand the point of the Royal family. Many hundreds of years ago, some people killed a load of other people to rightfully claim their spot as head murderer ruler of state.Fast-forward to today and you will find the descendants of the last person to get away with this, sitting on a throne whilst all of their distant family assumes an extravagant title, stacks of money and land rights. Whilst I'm not a fan of the idea of the monarchy itself in the modern day, I will admit that I don't dislike Harry, William and Kate. I find them quite entertaining. Just the thought of Prince Harry…
  • Assholes who park in disabled spots

    Ed Irkitated
    2 Apr 2014 | 10:19 pm
    There are some real assholes on the road as I have written about previously. Today I want to take focus away from the road though and talk about the carkpark. In particular, asshole parking and able-bodied people who park in disabled spots.There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to find a parking spot therefore, when you see somebody parked over multiple spaces or parked somewhere they shouldn't be, people are going to get annoyed. Nothing gets me more annoyed though, than somebody parked in a disabled spot when they are not entitled to park there. Follow on Social…
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    Ava Love Hanna

  • It’s Poetry Month!

    Ava Love Hanna
    3 Apr 2014 | 9:39 am
    I’m a poet. I always have been. And even though my writing of late has moved towards essays and magazine articles (money), I will always be a poet. I love to talk and will spend hours chatting away in person, but when I write I am minimalist, I want to conserve words, I want crystallized moments to explode off the page in just a few sentences. I love the power of poetry. I love its beauty and its truth. And on days when the world seems ugly and gray, I remember that human beings can write poetry and how amazing that it is, and I am filled with hope again. Despite April being the…
  • Bad Parents

    Ava Love Hanna
    21 Jan 2014 | 11:54 am
    This is where I’ll be on Wednesday night. Part of the FronteraFest Short Fringe, Bad Parents, will be at Hyde Park Theatre on Wednesday, Jan. 22 at 8 pm. The show is hilarious and was written by the über talented Max Langert, whom I met as an Austin cast member ofListen to Your Motherlast year. He and Tristan told touching stories about their mothers, while I was sharing one of my finer parenting moments: The Vagina-Mommy Incident. You can read more about the show and FronteraFest here: Bad Parents at FronteraFest The post Bad Parents appeared first on Ava Love Hanna.
  • Riding the Carousel

    Ava Love Hanna
    21 Oct 2013 | 6:59 am
    He wanted to ride the carousel at the mall. He’s five now, so I got on with him intending only to help him find an animal and climb up. The carousel was old and small, and wobbled as everyone climbed aboard. I put him on top of a brown horse with a flowing mane and wild eyes – It was a good fit. He grabbed onto the pole with both hands, leaned into it, trembled a bit and looked at me with worried eyes as he surveyed how high he was and felt the wobbling of the ride before it had even begun. He looked up and noticed that the pole was at its low point and asked me if it would go even…
  • Contemplative Ennui at the Blanton Museum of Art

    Ava Love Hanna
    19 Sep 2013 | 9:04 pm
    I am standing in a museum surrounded by marble statues of people from worlds long gone; they are echoes of some other unreal time. History is like that to me, it never feels real. I pick a bench in a sunny, windowed corner to sit and write. I’ve come here to try to dispel the dark clouds that have been chasing me this week… to try to numb the swollen ache in my heart. I thought the art might help, that it would give me something to look at so I could get out of my head for a little while. Maybe, it would ease some of this ridiculous pain. Instead, I feel every piece. It’s like…
  • Poem: Parents (Spoken Word)

    Ava Love Hanna
    31 Jul 2013 | 10:21 am
    This is my poem Parents, about the things every parent knows and every potential parent should be told.   Before I had a child, no one told me the real truth about parenting (spoiler: it’s awesome, but HARD). Actually, to be fair, they probably tried, but I just wasn’t paying attention: Yes, of course I’m listening: Labor sucks, they never sleep, they…. omg look how tiny these socks are! And there’s a tiny matching hat!! Nature is a jerk. It has a way of camouflaging  the truth. It made babies tiny and adorable because you cant really get mad at…
 
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • Think You Can Solve The World’s Problems? Don’t Bother, I’ve Done It For You.

    Tammy
    9 Apr 2014 | 1:04 pm
    With a ton of time on my hands these past few weeks, I’ve polished plant leaves until I can see my face in them, have bonded with the FedEx man, and cleaned my oven. So, I thought I would move on to bigger things, like addressing some of the world’s problems. Let me know what […]
  • Shut Up and Enjoy the View

    Tammy
    25 Mar 2014 | 11:01 pm
    First off, I’m so VERY SORRY for those duplicate posts that were sent out to you in the last couple of days. The cyber gods were clearly angry with me and I’m hoping the problem is fixed. A Christmas Post in March? That’s like a snowball in August. Why, I never! Now …. I’m into my […]
  • From Here To There … An Eternity

    Tammy
    18 Mar 2014 | 11:48 pm
    If you think that recuperating from foot surgery is serious business, you're in for some down home hilarity. Prepare to be proven wrong.
  • Payback’s a Bitch

    Tammy
    12 Mar 2014 | 12:15 am
    Not all that long ago, I wrote a blog post about how men are such babies when it comes to being sick or facing a “procedure”. HuffPost picked it up (God bless their little hearts) and I think I garnered the most hate mail in the history of Huffington Post blogs. It wasn’t what I […]
  • And The Oscar Goes To …

    Tammy
    26 Feb 2014 | 9:54 am
    Tammy Bleck, for her outstanding performance at fending life’s perils, jabs and obstacles. (applause – the crowd goes wild!). Accepting her award, Tammy is wearing a lovely pink fuzzy robe made by Charter Club complimented by her sleek leopard print slippers by Danskin. Her outfit is nicely complimented by stylish curlers and a minimum amount […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • NERF Nuke Launcher Nukes Relationships

    Daniel Repasky
    5 Apr 2014 | 6:17 pm
    This looks like a real doozy   14 of 16 people found the following review helpful  So powerful, I’m divorced now!, April 1, 2014 By Tom This review is from: NERF Nuke Launcher with Tripod (Deploys 80 Darts at Once) – Over 5 FEET LONG / YOU WIN! – Limited Edition My (ex) wife and I love(d) flirty Nerf battles with our one-shot Jolts, but our battles always ended in ties. That is, until I got this and nuked her good! Finally I WON!! But she got the house. Pros: Magazine capacity, accuracy. Cons: Damages relationships, proliferation will lead to cold war Help other…
  • The Best April Fools 2014

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Apr 2014 | 3:38 am
    Good April fools jokes seem to fix the bill of exactly zero people finding them helpful, so here are the best ones from 2014: #6: Toms + Uber = shuberX – “We simply don’t have the time to reinvent the wheel, so what if we un-invent it?” Get picked up in a cardboard box instead of a car. #5: Google looking for Pokemon Masters – Google is supposedly hiring somone with the requisite skills… in hunting pokemon, “We value employees who are risk-taking and detail-oriented, have deep technical knowledge, and can navigate through tall grass to capture wild…
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Ten!

    Daniel Repasky
    31 Mar 2014 | 4:19 am
    You’ve been waiting for it, now it’s here! Gif Sound Mashup Ten! http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup Ten! ►GifSounds used: 0:06 – Olympic Curling http://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/YCNiTCU.gif&v=MCqUESCoB1w 0:17 – Skiing http://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/JcwUkLd.jpg&v=wbWOVfY-rxU 0:28 – Back that ass up http://gifsound.com/?gif=d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/839385081.gif%3F1392557601&v=WL2txMU50CI&s=64 0:34 – Ima Bird…
  • WeenerKleaner Soap – It’s what you think it is

    Daniel Repasky
    29 Mar 2014 | 1:43 am
    Yep, “WeenerKleaner Soap” is exactly what you expect it to be: it’s just for hygiene guys… If you’re interested, here’s the link: $7.87 on Amazon   WeenerKleaner Soap – It’s what you think it is is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • Yes Amazon, I need to weight some… Parsley

    Daniel Repasky
    26 Feb 2014 | 3:54 am
    Loose parsley on a scale that measures ounces and grams accurately please…   HINT: It looks like marijuana   Yes Amazon, I need to weight some… Parsley is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • Sleeping Assistants Boost Productivity

    Greg Mischio
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    Are you too busy? Do you find there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done? Instead of trying to cram more into your waking hours, make better use of your sleep-time with my latest “Sleeping Assistant” epiphany.” The inspiration for this epiphany comes to me from my friend Milt. A high-powered executive, Milt is forever on his laptop, checking his cell phone, and flying all over the country. “I rarely get more than four to five hours of sleep a night,” he yawned as he checked his smart phone. “I’d be better off if I never went to sleep.” With those words, ye…
  • The Study of All Those Irritating Studies

    Greg Mischio
    7 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    How I loathe those accursed research studies that state the completely obvious. The news media reports on them like they’re amazing new revelations, instead of statistically-backed validations of common sense. On the bright side, they’ve given rise to my latest epiphany: The Study of All Those Irritating Studies. What started it all? ‘Twas a typical Sunday morning, and I’d just sat down to read the morning newspaper. I had just taken my first slurp of coffee when the offending headline hit me right between the eyes: “Study Concludes Breathing is Key Factor in Sustaining Life.”…
  • Instilling Fear of Meteor Showers in Worrywart Moms

    Greg Mischio
    31 Mar 2014 | 6:00 am
    Why do we use the term “worrywart”? Wouldn’t it be more accurate to refer to chronic worriers as “mom”? Mommies tend to worry excessively about anything and everything, at least they did until my latest epiphany. (This week’s post features another guest illustration from Monica LaLanda!) My wife does her fair share of worrying. Always has. As a child, she saved her fingernail cuttings because she was worried that she’d hurt their feelings if she threw them away. (Howard Hughes has got nothing on my girl.) That kind of worrying has only intensified now that her concerns have…
  • Forcing Educators to Stop the Homework Avalanche

    Greg Mischio
    24 Mar 2014 | 6:00 am
    It’s typical to see a high schooler burdened with 4-5 hours of homework a night. Is there not some way to impart knowledge without keeping our young uns up till 3 am? There is now, with my latest epiphany: I make those accursed educators do homework too.  Most adults work only an eight-hour day, although a large portion of that time is spent bitching about having to work an eight-hour day. Once we hit eight, we quit. We despise taking work home. So why do kids have to do it? Especially teenagers? Let’s look at the research. The data shows sleep deprivation from excessive homework load…
  • Letting My Wife Scope Out Women For Me

    Greg Mischio
    17 Mar 2014 | 6:00 am
    Did you know 9 out of 10 men are put to death by their wives if they dare glance in the direction of another woman? With my bold, marriage-saving epiphany, I’ve figured out a simple way to stay alive: I’ll let my wife do the ogling for me. This epiphany occurred at a traffic intersection, which is ground zero for male-ogling. A beautiful woman walked by our car, and some primordial instinct caused me, against my better judgment, to look her way. I think I tried to camouflage the ogle by acting like I was studying oncoming traffic, but my wife was too smart. She smacked me on the head with…
 
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    I Think Myself Happy

  • I am not Job

    Mike McCarty
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:13 pm
    I am at a point in my life that I can admit my shortcomings a bit easier than I could have twenty years ago.  I don't think it really has anything to do with me. I think it is just a maturing thing.  I know, that is a nice way of saying that I am getting older so I care less about what people think of me.  My kids think I have gone all Walmart.  You know what I am talking about if you have ever been there on a Saturday morning and witnessed a horde of people shopping in pajamas.  It's the same principle my wife explained to me when I made a comment about the....well...how do I…
  • French Lick...

    Mike McCarty
    28 Feb 2014 | 4:05 pm
    Do your kids every say things in public that make you cringe? Man, mine do.  And what is even worse is when I snap at them and they say something like, "well, you said that at home."  Or  "you laughed last time I said that." Clearly kids don't get that some things are funny at home and are not funny in public.  Kind of like burping and farting.  Real hoot in the living room.  Not funny at all when having dinner in a nice restaurant. Would this be considered double standards? I didn't think so. So last weekend my wife and I decided to get away for our…
  • Welfare for Weed

    Mike McCarty
    18 Jan 2014 | 9:23 am
    Have you ever had one of those "aha" moments when you knew that the world was going to be ok? I had one yesterday.  My 11 year old was home from school sick.  He was sitting on the couch while I was working in the office.  Evidently watching Fox News since he had already watched all the recorded episodes of Moonshiners, Dukes of Hazzard, Duck Dynasty and Shelby the Swamp Man.  And he had just spent the night at his grandparents where Fox News runs constantly. So I get a text from Evan:  "I just saw on the news that people in Colorado can buy weed with welfare checks."…
  • Cold Weather Induced High Blood Pressure

    Mike McCarty
    8 Jan 2014 | 1:24 pm
    I have been sitting in my house since Sunday thanks to Mother Nature. Have I ever mentioned I hate snow and I hate cold weather? Did I also mention I had taken almost 2 weeks off from work to have some quality family time?  Over the two weeks, boredom set in and our home more closely resembled a prison yard.  Fights breaking out over the TV remote.  Little girls tattling. Boys irritating the skin off their sisters.  I tried to hide and read but somebody would always find me.  Last Saturday we had friends over and after a couple cocktails I heard the words all parents were thinking…
  • Something is Wrong With Me

    Mike McCarty
    21 Dec 2013 | 7:19 am
    Here we go again.  I need to peel off another layer and admit I have no business being a father.  I'm not old enough. I've read all the books so I know all the right answers. The problem is reading all the right books is no help. I have learned that no matter what I say, my kids are going to do what I do, not what I say.  That's not fair.  I recently heard about a father who screamed "sh--"  in traffic with his kindergartner in the backseat.  Then I heard she screamed "sh--" from the back of her grandmother's vehicle when another car pulled out in…
 
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    celticillumination

  • Celtic Illumination, Part 376, If you are not a part of the solution….

    Peter Morris
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:39 am
    It’s quite appropriate that today, Sunday, but not just any Sunday, Easter Sunday, I can announce a sort of rebirth, a new beginning.  But I’m not going to say anything until you lot are all sitting up straight, that means you Ed Mooney, sit up straight man, has no one ever taught you how to sit to attention?  Bloody civilians, he’s probably sitting there dreaming of a dry stone wall in a remote area of county Kerry.  And by the way Colonialist I don’t want to have to mention haircuts again!  Anyway, where was I?  Ah yes, it would appear that the Celtic Illumination blog, the…
  • Celtic Illumination, page 375, Education is light, lack of it, darkness.

    Peter Morris
    19 Apr 2014 | 7:25 am
    Despite the fact that I was an up and coming star in the learning disability world, well; to the people supported and hopefully most of the staff, I was a star, those in charge, the social workers, felt, I think, that I was more of a pain in the arse; it was all still secondary to me.  Apart from being the best dad in the world I was determined to be the most famous Irish novelist of the twenty first century and still have at least two days a week off.  Once I had re-arranged all the procedures in the house where Jimmy and Andrew lived things settled down.  I could put on a nice film for…
  • Celtic Illumination, page 374, Promoting collaborative, critical, thinking.

    Peter Morris
    18 Apr 2014 | 10:57 am
    Things were ticking along quite nicely; no one had been damaged too badly, or killed, yet.  I was still two members of staff down, which my team didn’t mind as they were all getting extra work.  Normally there would be no problem getting cover if one of my team went off ill, but the problem was Jimmy’s reaction to new members of staff, so we tried to keep him surrounded with familiar faces, so that we were not covered in faeces.  I bought steam cleaners and carpet cleaners so that we could all feel a little better about our working environment.  Then one day I get a call to inform me…
  • Celtic Illumination, part 373, Shifting a paradigm to leverage best practice.

    Peter Morris
    17 Apr 2014 | 10:19 am
    I think one of the great things about working in the learning disability and mental health fields is that no matter how good you are, or no matter how good you think you are, almost every day something will happen that will reduce you back to the cretin that you really should be.  It was almost impossible to teach Jimmy anything and I mean simple life skills, like making a cup of tea or switching on the telly.  Would it have improved his life if he had been able to do any of these things, I really don’t know.  I spent an awful lot of time with his brother listening to stories about…
  • Celtic Illumination, part 372, Wrong siding the demographic

    Peter Morris
    16 Apr 2014 | 7:42 am
    Where Jan had proved herself to me as being a most wonderful and positive people person, Richard was proving himself to be a bit of a dick.  For team building and bonding Jan would take each team out and have a fun day, usually involving beer, and far too much beer at that.  She led from the front.  Richards’s idea of bonding and leadership training was to give us all a book, Stephen R Covey’s, The 7 habits of highly effective people, in fact.  Richard wanted us all to be managers, everything had to be formalised.  You could see his accountancy training behind everything he did.  He…
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Babies Are Gross

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    13 Apr 2014 | 7:03 pm
    Confession time again.This may not come as a huge surprise to some (most) people, but I don't like babies. Like at all.At first it was kind of a background little quirky thing that I liked to play up, but the older I've gotten and the closer to actual childbearing time, the more I've realized that I really actually can't stand babies, and I definitely can't stand children.Even as a child myself, I harbored a certain disdain for kids. I don't know what it is... maybe there's some broken piece of my psyche that makes it so I don't react correctly to the sound of a crying baby, or the smell…
  • Pillow Talk

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    31 Mar 2014 | 9:06 pm
  • The Comically Tragic Plight of the Chinchilla

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    2 Mar 2014 | 4:51 pm
    So... some of you will remember an earlier post that I wrote confessing that I don't believe in chinchillas. Turns out a surprisingly large number of people in this world are very adamant that chinchillas are, in fact, real, and have spent the last forever trying to prove their existence to me. I guess people will believe anything these days.I figured I would humor some of those poor delusional souls and let them make their case, just for argument's sake. This is what I learned from a coworker who is also a zoology major, and also Wikipedia...Let's start with what a chinchilla is, according…
  • I'm So Sorry

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    16 Feb 2014 | 2:03 pm
    Here is a story...Once upon a time, there was blogtoonist named Jackie. She didn't blog or toon very much because she had a mysterious brain condition that made all of her creativity fail her for months at a time. So please don't judge her. The end. I got all excited because Daniel got me a sweet new laptop that comes apart and magically transforms into a tablet, and I had all these grand plans for how I was going to draw cooler pictures than ever before! ...but then I couldn't think of what to draw, so I've mostly spent my time using the laptop to watch Netflix and YouTube videos of…
  • That Britney Song (You Know The One)

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    5 Jan 2014 | 9:40 pm
    So, here's a sad story.Once upon a time, I was very young, and then I turned 14 or so and put on like 40 pounds overnight. Which, I'll admit, wasn't that big of a deal since I was a tiny human being to begin with. That's not the sad part. After that, I stayed at the same size... forever.But then, TRAGEDY STRUCK! I got married!Okay, that wasn't tragic. What's tragic is the thing that happens to everyone (apparently) after they get married: I started putting on weight again. My mind was totally blown, because for the past six plus years of my life I had eaten whatever and not changed size…
 
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    Cerp CerkCerp Cerk » Category » Autocompletes

  • Can I Vacuum My Dog?

    admin
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:59 am
    …and we think it’s safe to say that pets should come with instruction manuals! If you’re asking if it’s safe to vacuum your pet, then please save your pet from future harm by calling the RSPCA on yourself. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “can I v” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? By the looks of it many of you have fetishes for vacuuming dogs. As it turns out the internet has spoken and said it’s fine to hoover the dog. Here’s one person’s response: It won’t hurt him, but it may bother…
  • Your Mother Was A Hamster

    admin
    7 Apr 2014 | 4:41 pm
    How dare you say our mother was a hamster… she still is! It’s not our fault our dad fell in love with a hamster. As you know, when you’re in love, it’s not long until baby making happens. We are a result of that and not one day passes where we are ashamed of her and what she is. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “your mother” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? Have you seen a little movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)? Well this autocomplete is down to a quote of that film: “Your…
  • What Do I Do If A Dolphin Wants To Mate With Me

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 4:08 am
    Hmmm, what should you do if a dolphin wants to mate with you? We dunno… kindly decline, maybe? Sorry Mr. polite dolphin with your long, sleek and sexy shapes, as much as I would love to, my mum and dad are expecting me back anytime soon. In fact, no, don’t flatter Mr. dolphin, he may take it the wrong way. Does it still work? It turns out this autocomplete was suggested by one of you guys, but as of 04/04/2014 we were unable to replicate it. Try it where you live and report back to us if it works or not. Why were people searching it? It turns out there’s a thread on a forum…
  • What If Google Was Deleted And We Couldn’t Google What Happened To Google?

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 3:48 am
    Oh god! Don’t even joke about something as serious as this! Is a world without Google even a world worth living in? We would have to do something crazy and use a search engine such as Ask Jeeves or even Lycos. The humanity! Does it still work? Yuss! This autocomplete worked as of 04/04/2014 by Googling: “what if Google“. Dem 4s! Why were people searching it? It seems the internet has had fun with this phrase. The most popular use for the phrase “what if Google was deleted and we couldn’t Google what happened to Google” seems to be an internet meme. Yahoo…
  • Do Iphone Even Work Or Is Everyone Just Pretending

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 3:33 am
    Yes, iPhones, damn you and your lower-case Is’! If it isn’t your one hour battery life it’s the voice control that comes on when it feels like it. We know we should have been an android user. In fact, we would even go as far as becoming a blackberry user. See what you’ve done to use, Apple? Does it still work? This one was suggested by one of you nice people. Thanks! As it turns out, we could only managed to get the version “do iphones even work or is everyone just pretending” – the none swearing version – but Googling “do iphones…
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    Conspiracy Theories ...from the Reality Challenged

  • There's No Age Limit on Funny

    Sandra Creason
    2 Apr 2014 | 6:30 am
    My 18 year old niece told me not too long ago that she loved hanging out with me because I acted like I was her age.I don't know if this is a good thing or not, considering that I'm 31 29.Sure, I don't see anything wrong with laughing at farts and making a running gag out of that one time the girl in Secret Life said "do you ever think of anything but sex" (wait for it), but there seems to be this expectation that once you reach a certain age, have kids, and can hold a steady job that doesn't involve asking people what kind of dipping sauce they'd like with their chicken nuggets, you have to…
  • Dear Internet

    Sandra Creason
    26 Mar 2014 | 7:32 pm
    WARNING:  Since I’m addressing some of the random, crazy things I’ve encountered in everyday *normal* use of the internet, there is some adult content in this post.  Don’t get too excited, there aren’t any naughty pictures.Also, I’m totally aware that the internet is not a person, but since I don’t know anything about it other than how to blog, operate Facebook, and create obnoxious memes, I’m just going to address this to “internet.”     Every word in the English language does not directly translate to “vagina.”No matter which you use as…
  • Throwback Thursday - Glamour Shots

    Sandra Creason
    20 Mar 2014 | 10:37 am
    I'm dating myself here, but if you grew up in the 90's, you'll remember the whirlwind fad that was Glamour Shots.For those of you who are too young to remember, or who were there for this catastrophe and have developed selective memory loss to avoid thinking about it, Glamour Shots was basically you (or your mom, in most cases) paying a creepy looking guy in the mall to cake clown makeup on your face, dress you in tube tops and boas, tease and Aqua Net your hair to oblivion, and take pictures in incredibly uncomfortable positions under really bad lighting.Read more »
  • 3 Things That are Destroying America

    Sandra Creason
    19 Mar 2014 | 7:33 pm
    I'm going to apologize right off the bat, because this is a really long post -  but I figure that since I went without posting for so long, it evens out.I have issue with all the hollering about morality being lost in America, what with the "Gays throwing their agenda in everyone's faces" and those pesky garden gnomes taking over world travel and all.  I'm offering you good deals, but really I'm bartering for your soul.Read more »
  • Technical Difficulties... Again

    Sandra Creason
    17 Mar 2014 | 11:46 am
    I spent all morning writing a wicked-awesome post to make up for all the non-posting I've been doing lately... and Blogger hates me.I'm unable to upload pictures and the page breaks aren't inserting properly, so I'm delaying posting until these issues get worked out so that you, dear readers, can experience the full, long-winded majesty that is my next post.  I know, it's soooo disappointing, but stay tuned!  More to come soon!~Sandra  
 
 
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    Do You Remember

  • It Happened Today – April 21

    Do You Remember
    20 Apr 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Born this day: Queen Elizabeth II, 88 Elaine May, 82 Iggy Pop, 67 1915: Actor Anthony Quinn 1926: Queen Elizabeth II, 88 1932: Writer Elaine May, 82 1935: Actor Charles Grodin, 79 1947: Musician Iggy Pop, 67 1949: Actress Patti LuPone, 65 1951: Actor Tony Danza, 63 1958: Actress Andie MacDowell, 56   Talk of the day: Protest at Tiananmen Square 1984: In France, doctors announce they have found the virus that causes AIDS. 1989: Chinese students begin to protest at Tiananmen Square.   Gone this day: Nina Simone, 70 1996: Bookmaker Jimmy “the Greek” Snyder, 77 2003: Singer…
  • Future Shock: The 1964 New York World’s Fair

    Eric Newill
    20 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    For Americans enjoying the postwar cornucopia of appliances, cars, split-level homes and air-conditioned motels, the future seemed to be a magical place where life could only get better and better. That idealism reached its peak with the legendary New York World’s Fair of 1964, when glittering displays of international unity and technological triumph were presented to the public in Flushing Meadows, Queens. Under the broad theme “Peace Through Understanding,” the fair sought to showcase the latest innovations in culture and science as a means of bringing people together. A touchstone of…
  • It Happened Today – April 20

    Do You Remember
    19 Apr 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Born this day: Luther Vandross Jessica Lange, 65 George Takei, 77 1893: Actor Harold Lloyd 1908: Musician Lionel Hampton 1923: Musician Tito Puente 1924: Actress Nina Foch 1937: Actor George Takei, 77 1941: Actor Ryan O’Neal, 73 1949: Actress Jessica Lange, 65 1951: Singer Luther Vandross   Talk of the day: Apollo 16 1912: Fenway Park opens as the home of the Boston Red Sox. 1972: The Apollo 16 manned mission to the Moon lands after a seven-hour crisis.   Gone this day: Benny Hill, 68 1912: Author Bram Stoker, 64 1992: Comedian Benny Hill, 68   Post written by Do You…
  • The Original Peep Show: Candid Camera

    Neil Vazquez
    19 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    Reality shows are everywhere nowadays, but did you know that the now ubiquitous genre had its start on the radio? Back in 1947, before every American had a television set, producer Allen Funt had the brilliant idea of playing practical jokes on unsuspecting civilians while taping them for the voyeuristic enjoyment of the listening audience. The idea blossomed into Candid Microphone, which eventually became Candid Camera. One of the longest running programs in TV history, the show has been on and off the air for more than half a century, but is about to make a comeback on the TV Land network.
  • It Happened Today – April 19

    Do You Remember
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Born this day: Dick Sargent Tim Curry, 68 Jayne Mansfield 1930: Actor Dick Sargent 1933: Actress Jayne Mansfield 1935: Actor Dudley Moore 1946: Actor Tim Curry, 68 1968: Actress Ashley Judd, 46 1978: Actor James Franco, 36   Talk of the day: Grace Kelly 1956: Prince Rainier III of Monaco marries film actress Grace Kelly at the Cathedral of Monaco. 1982: Sally Ride is named the first female astronaut.   Gone this day: David Koresh, 33 1882: Scientist Charles Darwin, 73 1993: Cult leader David Koresh, 33   Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today – April 19…
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    Week Cartoons

  • On the Phone Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    18 Apr 2014 | 10:17 am
    On the Phone Cartoon Extra stuff about the cartoon: A being on the phone cartoon. It’s not uncommon for people who love technology to defend against accusations that it makes us anti-social with that famous picture of people on a train in the 1940s reading newspapers and not talking. How fucking subjective. A newspaper is finite, first, and second it’s not something that you can or would inundate your time with at all hours. It’s big, paper, unruly. A phone makes you completely oblivious, and at any moment and in most situations. The irony in my trying to get this across…
  • Peeling Potatoes Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    16 Apr 2014 | 12:10 pm
    Peeling Potatoes Cartoon Extra stuff about the cartoon: Anyone feel this peeling potatoes cartoon? People who love mashed potatoes know all to well the sting. French fries=the sting. Hash browns=the sting. It’s a game we play everyday, and one that we will win. Vegetables will be peeled. Link to this page:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/peeling-potatoes-cartoon URL of image:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/peeling-potatoes-cartoon.png The post Peeling Potatoes Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Brain Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    14 Apr 2014 | 11:44 am
    Airplane Seats Cartoon Extra stuff about the cartoon: If you fly, and you wonder how much more space they can take from you: an airplane seats cartoon. Link to this page:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/airplane-seats-cartoon URL of image:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/airplane-seats-cartoon.png The post Brain Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Airplane Seats Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    11 Apr 2014 | 11:44 am
    Airplane Seats Cartoon Extra stuff about the cartoon: If you fly, and you wonder how much more space they can take from you: an airplane seats cartoon. Link to this page:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/airplane-seats-cartoon URL of image:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/airplane-seats-cartoon.png The post Airplane Seats Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Facebook Friend Request Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    9 Apr 2014 | 11:46 am
    Facebook Friend Request Cartoon Extra stuff about the cartoon: Caught read handed. You guilty of this? You are, aren’t you? If you’re not, this Facebook friend request cartoon is meaningless to you. Maybe you’d prefer the mauve bomb defuse cartoon, it’s a bit more universal. Link to this page:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/facebook-friend-request-cartoon URL of image:: http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/facebook-friend-request-cartoon.png The post Facebook Friend Request Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
 
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    WorthAShare.com

  • I’d Sweat For Her Any Day! | Best Neila Rey Workouts

    Amber Waddy
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:08 am
    When it comes to fitness some of us just weren’t born to do it. It can be hard if your body needs to take a royal beating just to loose a pound, and some routines can be dull and mind numbing. Neila Rey, however, does things a little differently…Here we look at some of the more quirky workout graphics she has on offer for all you sofa lovers and secret eaters. Source: Array
  • Rub Me Like One Of Your French Girls | Impressive Dirty Car Art

    Amber Waddy
    9 Apr 2014 | 3:59 am
    When most people see a dirty car they tend to think that the owner doesn’t care too much about who’s looking. Well, some clever people our there decide to recycle all the muck into something staggering…Here we look at the best examples of this strange phenomenon for you to admire… Source: Array
  • Sexy In Steampunk | 11 Sassy Senoritas

    Jade Waddy
    8 Apr 2014 | 6:06 am
    What is steampunk, I hear you cry? Well it’s a certain kind of fashion derived from science fiction where steam powered machinery is turned into accessories for and alongside clothing. These gorgeous few can show how it should be done, woof. Source: Array
  • Eternal Nightmares In 3…2… | Frighteningly Real Gamer Cosplay

    Amber Waddy
    1 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    Cosplay over the years has become much more elaborate, and more people are going out of their way to give fans the best experience they can get. That said, some of them can be a bit too real…Here we take a look at some of the most terrifying costumes the world has ever seen. Get ready to need therapy…Big Daddy & Lil Sister – BioshockHead Crab – Half LifeScarlet – Mortal KombatGatherer – AmnesiaRyuk – Death NoteDiablo – DiabloNurse – Silent HillElite – Halo Source: Array
  • Anyone Seen My Pet Unicorn? | Humourous ‘Missing’ Posters

    Amber Waddy
    26 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    It’s not very nice when a beloved pet or possession goes walk about. For many it can be a stressful time, but for some it’s a time to bring out that sense of humour and make a strangers day.Here we look at some of the more laugh inducing posters seen around the globe. Sure hope my unicorn shows up soon… Source: Array
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    Randy's Review

  • When Did Deodorant Become So Much More Than Deodorant?

    Randy
    30 Mar 2014 | 9:19 am
     Old Spice Wolfthorn Deodorant Review This review requires some back story: I’ve been an Old Spice fan since the first time I put on deodorant in 6th grade.  Like my father before me, and his father before him, I’ve never strayed far from Old Spice’s Original scent (we don’t like change, alright?). Well after 12 years of going Original, someone told me I smell like their grandpa.  Considering “original” was created in 1938, I probably did.  So I did what any reasonable person would do: I took it personally, punched that person in the face, and went out…
  • Ninja Strength And Speed

    Randy
    11 Mar 2014 | 7:35 am
      Ninja Professional Blender Review (BL660) - We’ll Cut You Up! Fast. When I was a kid, I had pretty bad luck with blenders.  We didn’t get along too well. Although I did have some good experiences: like the time I made smoothies with my dad and he’d throw in the raspberries we picked from our backyard.  Or the time he tossed in three glazed donuts.  Most of my blender memories are pretty bad though. My parents weren’t usually advocates of the “learn by doing ” method, but a lot of times that is how I learned best.  Sometimes my mom would let me…
  • 12 Must-Have Items For Bacon Lovers

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 4:27 pm
    Bacon Gifts for You and Me Everyone loves bacon! But there is a handful of people who love it more than others.  For many of us, bacon is more of a lifestyle than simply a slice of meat.  And to celebrate that lifestyle, I’ve put together a list of my favorite bacon-related items.  Perfect to give as bacon gifts or to keep for yourself. From books to clothing to personal hygiene items, bacon will be written into your daily routine. Brushing your teeth will be fun again. Your fashion sense will become delicious. And your home decor will be pinned around the internet thousands of…
  • 10 Products That Make Drinking A Lot Easier

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 4:02 pm
      Drinking Dilemmas? These Should Help. Are you looking for something useful to add to your drinking lifestyle? Do you find that holding a glass with your hand, hiding your liquor in public, and just standing up is such a hassle?  When adults drink alcohol, life choices quickly become all about convenience: Fred: “But I don’t want to get up to get another beer! It’s too stressful.” Patty: “But I’d prefer to hold all three glasses of wine… at once.” Barbara: “How can I continue drinking and play volleyball?” Over the years,…
  • BCWGZTXP5HHK

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 1:20 pm
    BCWGZTXP5HHK.   BCWGZTXP5HHK is a post from: Randy's Review The post BCWGZTXP5HHK appeared first on Randy's Review.
 
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    Above Average

  • Dat thigh gap: what is it? Where did it come from?

    Above Average
    18 Apr 2014 | 1:28 pm
    Finally, anthropologists are focusing on the studies that matter: DAT THIGH GAP. Watch science in action as University of Douchester academics speak out on the issue. For more history lessons, click here.
  • Weekly Internet Fascinations – April 18

    Above Average
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:51 pm
    Above Average’s staff answers the question: What’s the best thing you’ve seen on the internet this week?  Inside the Edit “I need ya’ll to understand what I do around here” - Ryan Spears Mentally preparing for the Magic Mike sequel  “Channing Tatum…penning Magic Mike 2…while looking at a bust of Matthew McConaughey.” - Kelly Harper “Happy” music video with no music “So much quiet clapping.” - Cathy Lew Bow and arrow, just like Hunger Games “You guys, being shot by an arrow would be terrifying.” - Carl Baker  
  • Everyone just wants a girl who can hang

    Above Average
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Let’s be honest. We all just want a girl who can hang. You know the type: she talks about burping as often as Jennifer Lawrence does, and she also happens to look like Jennifer Lawrence. She can throw back as many shots as your one friend Larry, but she looks way better in flannel than he does. Check out this sketch, penned by Emily Altman, co-creator of That Couple You Know and subject of our photo scandal.  
  • Today is the day for a live reading of Space Jam

    Above Average
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:25 pm
    Is Space Jam 2 happening or not? If Mrs. Doubtfire is getting a sequel, what’s the deal with SPACE JAM? The people need to know. In the meantime, here’s the live reading of Space Jam ’96 that happened at UCB in LA. Featuring Seth Green, Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan, Danielle Fishel (what up Girl Meets World), Nick Kroll, and more. This video is proof that Space Jam 2 must happen, with or without you LeBron.    
  • Orange is the New Black is BACK

    Above Average
    17 Apr 2014 | 11:54 am
    We’ve been waiting  for Orange is the New Black to make its triumphant return, and now we’re just about 2 months away from watching all the episodes in the span of a weekend. Check out the newly released trailer for season 2 where everyone seems to be settling in to their fate, except poor ol’ Modern Love-writing Jason Biggs. Watch Orange is the New Black’s favorite lady cop, Lauren Lapkus, as a hungover teacher just trying to make it through the day:
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • Why Florida Is the Best

    Dustin
    18 Apr 2014 | 4:04 am
    Today, we’re excited to unveil a new weekly-to-semi-weekly series called, “Florida Friday,” wherein we check in on the craziest people in the United States. As an Ohioan, I love Florida. I spent four years of my life there during college. The state has some of the best beaches, warmest winters and friendliest lizards in the country. It also has the world’s highest concentration of crazy people. You may or may not have noticed that 90% of news stories involving people doing things like sprinkling their deceased loved one’s ashes all over Lenscrafters or marrying a Ferris wheel happen…
  • Two! Tickets! For Wicked!

    Dustin
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:40 am
    Wicked, the musical event of the century, came to Cleveland around Christmastime last year. If you are unfamiliar, the play is about the two witches from The Wizard of Oz becoming friends and having adventures and arguing and singing and it is quite a production. Unfortunately, a decent ticket to Wicked costs roughly as many dollars as a month in Europe. Which is a bummer because my wife, Deserae, and I enjoy going to plays.* *I should clarify that we actually would not enjoy most plays. For example, as I write this, the local theater is showing Yentl, a play about a girl who decides to cut…
  • The World’s Most Dangerous Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

    Dustin
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:17 pm
    I had a bad peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch today. The bread was kind of old, there wasn’t nearly enough jelly and the only peanut butter we currently have in the house is the gritty reduced-fat kind. It could have been worse. This afternoon, I came across the following headline from the Park Ridge Herald-Advocate: Peanut Butter and Jelly Blamed for One-Car Park Ridge Crash. The story truly is fantastic. Here’s the first sentence: “A man was so engrossed in eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he drove his car into a utility pole, Park Ridge (IL) police say.”…
  • How to Be a Man

    Dustin
    8 Apr 2014 | 11:00 pm
    A hot water tank doesn’t seem to be something that should break that often. It’s got one job: hold hot water. As I’ve recently learned, however, hot water tanks are a lot like bulldogs. You’re happy if they last 12 years, although you may have to deal with some leaking toward the end. Last week, my hot water tank started leaking. A lot. Which is the type of thing that happens when I start feeling a little manly. I grew up in a house where my dad fixed everything. I can’t recall a time when he ever took his cars to the mechanic, but I do remember plenty of long, cold nights holding a…
  • I Should Have Been in Captain America 2

    Dustin
    1 Apr 2014 | 11:00 pm
    Captain America 2: Winter Soldier comes out this week. I can’t wait to finally watch the movie to see Captain America, Bucky the Winter Soldier, Samuel L. and the jerk who stole my part.  Last summer, Captain America 2 filmed in Cleveland, which was very exciting except for the fact that it closed every single downtown street for three solid months. (But we’re Cleveland and people are paying attention to us, so we’re good! Please don’t leave!) A couple weeks before filming started, memos began appearing in my office building that small roles for Captain America would be cast on the…
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