Humor

  • Most Topular Stories

  • Don’t set yourself on fire.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:39 am
    According to the internet, right now kids are setting fire to themselves on purpose. The Fire Challenge sounds (and is) incredibly stupid, but when I was a kid we did the eraser game (erasing the skin on our hands to see who could get the worst scar) and the fainting game (hyperventilating and getting choked in the bathroom until you pass out) and we even did the Chubby Bunny challenge (packing marshmallows into your mouth and saying “Chubby Bunny”) until some girl suffocated from it. Then you’re suddenly confronted with the fact that you’re mortal.  I mean, death…
  • Questions that haunt me. Show your work.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    17 Aug 2014 | 2:14 pm
    This week has been full of angst and weirdness and deep questions that keep us up too late at night and I’m not smart enough to debate them now, so instead  I’m asking you for help in answering an important question that’s been haunting me since I first started arguing with Victor about it in the 90’s: I’m not going to tell you what I think because Victor says it’s creating a bias in the poll results, but I will tell you that I would never eat “eight popsicles in a row” because that would be insane, but eating four popsicles on a hot day…
  • It’s Not Too Late?

    Damn You Auto Correct!
    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:56 pm
    My intention was to tell my boyfriend of ONE MONTH that I needed a nap. It escalated quickly. Submitted by Robin The post It’s Not Too Late? appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Nick Offerman's Shower Thoughts

    CollegeHumor: Videos
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:17 pm
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/OK34L4-qaDQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Source:mashable Nick Offe...
  • I’m Traveling to Some Country in the East to Write a Memoir About Traveling to Some Country in the East by Alex Norcia

    McSweeney’s
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:01 am
    There’s no better way to make sense of the chaos surrounding my life than to pack my bags and move, temporarily, to a country in the Eastern Hemisphere. I graduated from a prestigious university last May, and my mom and dad promised me a place to stay while I braved the job hunt. However, after a few months, they started to question my motivation. I want to be a writer, but few people will pay you to write, especially the people responsible for your birth.Without notice, my parents put my childhood house up for sale the other day. They’re moving to Florida, and they didn’t invite…
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    The Bloggess

  • Don’t set yourself on fire.

    thebloggess
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:39 am
    According to the internet, right now kids are setting fire to themselves on purpose. The Fire Challenge sounds (and is) incredibly stupid, but when I was a kid we did the eraser game (erasing the skin on our hands to see who could get the worst scar) and the fainting game (hyperventilating and getting choked in the bathroom until you pass out) and we even did the Chubby Bunny challenge (packing marshmallows into your mouth and saying “Chubby Bunny”) until some girl suffocated from it. Then you’re suddenly confronted with the fact that you’re mortal.  I mean, death…
  • Questions that haunt me. Show your work.

    thebloggess
    17 Aug 2014 | 2:14 pm
    This week has been full of angst and weirdness and deep questions that keep us up too late at night and I’m not smart enough to debate them now, so instead  I’m asking you for help in answering an important question that’s been haunting me since I first started arguing with Victor about it in the 90’s: I’m not going to tell you what I think because Victor says it’s creating a bias in the poll results, but I will tell you that I would never eat “eight popsicles in a row” because that would be insane, but eating four popsicles on a hot day…
  • “I saw this and thought of you.” ~ My shrink

    thebloggess
    14 Aug 2014 | 12:03 pm
    Today I went to see my shrink and it was a great visit where I vomited out all of the crap in my head and she sifted through the pieces and put them back together like a Jenga tower made out of my neuroses.  I’ve gone through lots of shrinks to find the right one for me and I’m very lucky to have a doctor who will listen and then say “That’s totally normal” or “We can fix that together” or “Wow. That sounds shitty” depending on the issue.  And at the end of our hour she insisted I watch a video on youtube that she said reminded her of…
  • MEEP.

    thebloggess
    13 Aug 2014 | 9:43 am
    me: Do you think Beaker and The Road Runner are related? Victor:  My head hurts already. me:  I mean, logically they wouldn’t be related because one is a muppet and the other one isn’t real, but they both speak the same “Meep!  Meep!” language.  That has to mean something. Victor:  Um…Muppets aren’t real either. me:  Shut your mouth. Victor:  Anyway, Beaker only says “meep” once at a time.  The Road Runner always says it twice. me:  So Beaker is just less talkative? Victor:  It might be a different dialect. me:  Or maybe The Road…
  • Yesterday was shitty so today we’re doing cat pictures. Go fuck yourself, yesterday.

    thebloggess
    12 Aug 2014 | 8:19 am
    Question:  What’s the difference between kids during summer vacation and kittens at any time? It’s not a riddle.  I just really want to know. PS.  Yes, that is Hunter S. Thomcat when he was still Hunter S. Thomkitten.  He was very demanding.  He still is, but now when he flops down on my neck in the middle of the night it’s less of a sweet nuzzle and more like a ninja has karate-chopped my jugular.  And the ninja wants food.  And some snugglin’.  And he’s confused about why I won’t wake up because he doesn’t understand that cats and…
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • It’s Not Too Late?

    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:56 pm
    My intention was to tell my boyfriend of ONE MONTH that I needed a nap. It escalated quickly. Submitted by Robin The post It’s Not Too Late? appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Close Friends Excepted

    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:55 pm
    Submitted by Rene The post Close Friends Excepted appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Never Come Empty Handed!

    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:47 pm
    Submitted by Anastasia The post Never Come Empty Handed! appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Jail Birds Of A Feather

    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:45 pm
    My friend was trying to be lovely dovey with this nice status,except Auto Correct had to ruin it. Submitted by JennaLee The post Jail Birds Of A Feather appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Random Ordering

    Lyndsey
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:37 pm
    My girlfriend wanted me to pick up Chinese food, but her Android had a different idea. Submitted by Allison The post Random Ordering appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • I’m Traveling to Some Country in the East to Write a Memoir About Traveling to Some Country in the East by Alex Norcia

    20 Aug 2014 | 4:01 am
    There’s no better way to make sense of the chaos surrounding my life than to pack my bags and move, temporarily, to a country in the Eastern Hemisphere. I graduated from a prestigious university last May, and my mom and dad promised me a place to stay while I braved the job hunt. However, after a few months, they started to question my motivation. I want to be a writer, but few people will pay you to write, especially the people responsible for your birth.Without notice, my parents put my childhood house up for sale the other day. They’re moving to Florida, and they didn’t invite…
  • Monologue: A Few Words from Roscoe’s Italian Eatery and Café’s Human Billboard and Doomsayer by Peter Harmelin

    20 Aug 2014 | 4:00 am
    The end is coming! Your impending doom and destruction is at hand. A shameful narrative of decadence will bring civilization to its knees, and God’s wrath shall mark the end of all humankind! Act now, because you only have a limited time to enjoy Roscoe’s Italian Eatery and Café.Jesus is the light and the way! Repent! Repent! For the only path to salvation lies with Him. It was for the transgressions of all mankind that His wrists were skewered like a wooden, cellophane-tipped pick through two of Roscoe’s juicy beef patties, lettuce, tomato, onions, cheddar cheese, and a toasted sesame…
  • On the Trail of Mary Jane: This is Not Nirvana by Wendy C. Ortiz

    20 Aug 2014 | 4:00 am
    A warm Sunday afternoon has us stepping into a place we think is a dispensary but is not. The chairs in the waiting room are full. A “Nirvana Clinic” sounds like a place where you might actually purchase marijuana, but we are in fact pointed to a storefront around the corner. We walk through the parking lot of a music shop and recording studio that’s blasting old R&B music out into the street. A police car happens by, going east. A woman walking towards us on the sidewalk holds the telltale prescription medicine bag—white, folded over, stapled—so I know the storefront with very…
  • I Can’t Sell This Car—It’s Too Hot. Plus, It’s the Popemobile by Keaton Patti

    19 Aug 2014 | 3:05 am
    Listen, Tony, I appreciate you stealing another car for me to flip, but this bad boy’s too hot to handle right now. Also, it’s the Popemobile, one of the most recognizable vehicles in the entire world. I mean, even with a new paint job, people are going to remember the large bulletproof glass box that takes up most of the car. You might not think people notice those sorts of things, but they do.Sure, I’ve flipped some fancy cars. Lamborghinis, Aston Martins, even a fire truck or two, but selling this could have some serious repercussions. The Popemobile’s like a relic…
  • An Interview with Curtis Sittenfeld, Guest Judge of the McSweeney’s Student Short Story Contest by McSweeney's

    19 Aug 2014 | 3:04 am
    We are thrilled to announce that Curtis Sittenfeld will be the guest judge of the first-ever McSweeney’s Student Short Story Contest! Curtis is the best-selling author of Sisterland, American Wife, Prep, and The Man of My Dreams, and her nonfiction has appeared in the New York Times, the Atlantic Monthly, and Salon, among other places. If you have never read Curtis’s work before, the editors of McSweeney’s recommend that you rush to the store and buy one of her books. They also recommend that you read this micro-interview with her below. It is full of good advice.- - -What…
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    Special Kind of Stupid

  • Eat fresh!

    Kevin
    10 Aug 2014 | 1:31 pm
    After church this morning, my wife and I stopped at Subway for a quick lunch before browsing around some stores. We had never been to this particular Subway restaurant before. The two employees were… how can I phrase it? Craptacular. Actually, that’s not fair. They were just easily distracted. Granted, what kept distracting them was [...]
  • Back from the dead

    Kevin
    22 Jul 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Back on February 3, I announced I was shutting down Special Kind of Stupid. Yeah, never mind.
  • Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

    Kevin
    3 Feb 2014 | 1:39 pm
    Pay no attention to the following. Special Kind of Stupid is back! Way back in 2007, I retired a free lil’ WordPress blog and set up the self-hosted specialkindofstupid.com blog you see. I was moving into the big leagues — paying for a domain, which would be able to have whatever custom look I wanted [...]
  • The origin of Friday the 13th

    Kevin
    12 Dec 2013 | 9:00 pm
    How Friday the 13th came to be.
  • Stop blaming Walmart for why you punched someone over a toaster

    Kevin
    4 Dec 2013 | 5:00 am
    If you don't think retail stores should open on Thanksgiving, don't go shopping at retail stores on Thanksgiving! Wait until Friday afternoon -- like a sane person.
 
 
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    Cracked: All Posts

  • The 21 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Powerful People

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: August 20th, 2014  The great Uncle Ben once said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Some famous folks didn't get that memo, though, evidenced by them just saying whatever stupid things their brains just come up with. Our readers compiled some of the worst
  • 7 Popular Restaurants With Secret Menu Items You Need to Try

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Today's Topic  Published: August 20th, 2014 
  • 4 Hilarious Leaked Emails Corporations Don't Want You to See

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    By XJ Selman  Published: August 20th, 2014  Most of us have been online long enough to understand that emails are forever, which is why every work message requires sobriety and a triple check that you didn't accidentally type "F.U. HR" while requesting time off. So if you ever happen to send o
  • 4 Awesome Superhero Movie Sequels That Will Never Happen

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Maxwell Yezpitelok  Published: August 20th, 2014  The current philosophy when it comes to comic book movies seems to be: at the slightest sign of trouble, reboot. Superman Returns racked up "only" $391 million at the box office? Reboot. Spider-Man 3 had terrible dance scenes? Reboot. Joel Schumacher
  • 5 Horrifying Details You Never Noticed in Famous Video Games

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Raoni Lacerda,Ian Ury,John Mulroy  Published: August 20th, 2014  As kids, we didn't really pay attention to the moral implications of our video games. Destroying a city full of civilians in Rampage was no different from eliminating a line of blocks in Tetris. But at some point little bastards grow a moral compass,
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    Predator Press

  • Fly Fighter

    Michael Wolfe
    6 Aug 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "Well, neither of us can afford a divorce," I says.  "One of us had to figure out a way to monetize the situation and get it over with." Rachel frowns.  "You don't think this is a little extreme?" "All's fair in love and war.  They will thank me later." "I kinda doubt that."
  • Soaking Sunset

    Michael Wolfe
    31 Jul 2014 | 1:39 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] It's bad enough I'm stuck in traffic trying to get Lars Arson to the airport.  But it suddenly dawns on me Lars has chosen this moment to give me some professional criticism. Fuck. "You think you know everything, don't you?" he asks. I laugh.  "No." "You need to stop answering me on reflex." "What does that mean?"  Lars and I are pretty comfortable as friends, but occasionally I forget he is one of my bosses. "I asked you if you knew everything." "Of course not.  But if there's something I need to know, I know how to learn out about…
  • Al Dente Inferno

    Michael Wolfe
    29 Jul 2014 | 3:51 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] I woke up annoyed that, for the third day in a row, something went wrong on the coffee pot timer. The coffee didn't start, and I would have to undergo the arduous task of pressing a button and wait fifteen minutes.  So I jump in the shower sans caffeine, consciously suppressing screaming obscenities into unsympathetic porcelain tiles. My brain, well-advised against starting a day like this, tried to head me off. "Relax, man," it said.  "It's not like anyone died." -And this kinda worked, until it added the afterthought: "Eventually, everybody dies at…
  • Wolves v Sharks

    Michael Wolfe
    13 Jul 2014 | 11:42 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] A badly sunburned Lars Arson stumbles into the campsite about 9pm.  His Hawaiian shirt is tattered, and he is wearing only one flip-flop. He has been missing for seven hours. Music is playing, glow sticks are flying, the grilled food smell wafts through the air, and a naked woman is working a hula hoop by the bonfire."We were playing 'Capture the Flag!'" he gasps between gulps of water."Right," I says, pulling a blue rag from my back pocket.  "Here.  You win."
  • I Got This

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Jun 2014 | 2:37 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] My iPad and iPhone are finally synced. -And I can't type on either fucking one of them. I would try and tough this out, but Lars Arson -somehow surprised I dabble in fiction- told me a few days ago that the company won't pay for screenplays, even if they use them.  You can't throw a rock without hitting someone with stacks of screenplays here (and/or being on meth it would seem). Now this is ironic on a lot of levels.  I conspicuously never mentioned "writing" while I was interviewing.  It was 50% based on strategy, 50% based on the fact that I'm…
 
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • Headlines We'd Rather See this Week

    mikescollins
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:28 pm
    Headlines We'd Rather See this Week Because the actual news is just too much to handle right now, let's pretend these are the stories from this week. Submitted by: mikescollins Regular Keywords: usa today news headlines happy current events puppy newspaper ferguson isis robin williams terrible news this week ferguson headlines isis headlines happy headlines positive headlines dogs cute dogs Views: 2,102
  • Rick Perry's Tips on How to Use Your Mugshot to Get Elected President

    Cirocco
    20 Aug 2014 | 8:30 am
    Rick Perry's Tips on How to Use Your ... Rick Perry gives some presidential mugshot advice. Submitted by: Cirocco Regular Keywords: Rick Perry mugshot mug shot rick perry rick perry mug shot president election 2016 Views: 3,803
  • Throwing Shade #57: Disneyland & the Secret App

    chris_singel
    19 Aug 2014 | 2:52 pm
    Throwing Shade #57: Disneyland & the ... 15:55 This week, Bryan took a Lyft for the first time! It was as delightful as an emu leg in Disneyland. Meanwhile, Erin reveals that women get waaay less financial loans for businesses than men do. And Bryan discusses a new poll revealing how LGBTs feel about religion. Plus, the Secret app! Share with friends, anonymously... Listen to the full episode here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/throwing-shade/id479583266?mt=2 Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Throwing Shade throw shade erin gibson bryan safi podcast listening listen…
  • Nathan Fielder Has a Fake Psychic Website from Like Four Years Ago

    Jenny Nelson
    19 Aug 2014 | 9:11 am
    Nathan Fielder Has a Fake Psychic Web... Before Nathan for You, Nathan Fielder had a fake psychic website called Ronaldshoub.com. Submitted by: Jenny Nelson Regular Keywords: Nathan Fielder Ronald Shoub psychic Nathan For You fake psychic spiritual healer Nathan Fielder fake psychic Views: 2,516
  • Upcoming Spin-Offs in The Expendables Series

    natedern
    18 Aug 2014 | 7:12 pm
    Upcoming Spin-Offs in The Expendables... 'The Expendables 3' bombed over its opening weekend, under-performing its expected gross by $10 million. Will the franchise survive? Sylvester Stallone has confirmed that an all-female 'The Expendabelles' will be created as the next installment. Below are potential spin-offs that could help the struggling franchise. Submitted by: natedern Regular Keywords: movie movies expendable expendables expendabelles the expendables the expendables 3 sylvester stallone stallone poster posters expendabulls Views: 27,562
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    vintage everyday

  • Beautiful Portraits of Jackie Kennedy Onassis in the 1970s

    John VE
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:07 pm
    Jackie Kennedy onboard the Staten Island Ferry, 1976.Mrs. Onassis is seen abord the Staten Island Ferry in the New York harbor, returning to Manhattan after touring the Snug Harbor Cultural Center, 1976.With Lord Fraser, late 1970s.With the architect Edward Larrabee Barnes and Rose Kennedy in the audience at the Morosco Theatre for a performance of "Forty Carats," 1969.At Bonwit Teller, 1970.See more »
  • Beautiful Landscape and Marine Views of Norway by Photochrom, ca. 1890-1900

    John VE
    20 Aug 2014 | 8:25 am
    Published primarily from the 1890s to 1910s, these prints were created by the Photoglob Company in Zürich, Switzerland, and the Detroit Publishing Company in Michigan. Like postcards, the photochroms feature subjects that appeal to travelers, including landscapes, architecture, street scenes, and daily life and culture.Troldfjord (i.e.,Trollfjord), Raftsund, LofotenTvindefos (i.e., Tvindefossen) hotelOn the Voss Railway, HordalandKongen og Dronningen, BispenVinge Hotel, Hardanger FjordSee more »
  • Organ grinder on street with children passing, ca. 1848

    John VE
    20 Aug 2014 | 7:12 am
  • Chevrolet Bel Air - Second Generation (1955–1957)

    John VE
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:26 am
    The Chevrolet Bel Air was a full-size automobile that was produced by the Chevrolet division of General Motors for the 1950–1981 model years. Initially only the two door Hardtops in the Chevrolet model range were designated with the Bel Air name from 1950 to 1952, as distinct from the Styleline and Fleetline models for the remainder of the range. With the 1953 model year the Bel Air name was changed from a designation for a unique body shape to a premium level of trim applied across a number of body styles.For 1955, Chevrolet's full-size model received all new styling and power. It was…
  • Elizabeth Taylor, ca. 1952

    John VE
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:11 am
 
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • About Ferguson, White Allies and Speaking Up When It Matters

    Luvvie
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:47 pm
    A change is gon come. It doesn’t come easily and the people in power won’t let it happen without a fight. We’re watching the fight right now in its ugliest form in Ferguson, Missouri. Tear gas, which the U.S. has banned in actual wars on other soils is now being used in our own land. A 90-year old Holocaust survivor was arrested as she was peacefully protesting. People are being shot with rubber bullets and members of the press have been detained and threatened with bodily harm (or death) for simply trying to document what is happening there. All of this ALL OF GAHTDAMB THIS…
  • Remember When Kerry Opened For Me At BlogHer? The Video of My Talk is Here!

    Luvvie
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:44 pm
    Remember that time when I went to BlogHer and at first I was going to open for Kerry Washington but she ended up opening for me? YESSSSS! You remember. That was last month. I got on the main stage and talked about being authentically myself online, how I play with language (check out the Luvvie Glossary) and how I speak up even when it’s hard. My presentation was full of GIFs, of course, but you don’t get to see those. Check out the video below! Thank you to BlogHer for the opportunity to stand on the main stage. This was an absolute blast. This video takes me right back to that…
  • Why Does Kale Taste Like Dreams Deferred?

    Luvvie
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:59 pm
    One day I looked up and everyone had become the Bubba Gump of Kale, talmbout kale salad, kale soup, kale smoothies, kale sammiches, kale nail polish (yes really. It’s called NailKale. Everyone go home. You’re drunk!). It was all kale everything and I was like whappened? Why it happen? I know yall love you some kale but I have had it on more than one occasion and each time, I wonder if the person who offered it to me really likes me. I really start to question our friendship when you offer me a green leaf that tastes like unrealized potential with a tad of olive oil but mostly the…
  • Tell People To Have a Seat With Your Chest!

    Luvvie
    19 Aug 2014 | 10:47 am
    My peoples! I’m back with my latest tshirt because sometimes you just need to let folks know that they should HAVE a SEAT! Now you can do it with your chest with the “No. Have a Seat \___” Tshirt on teespring. These navy blue shirts come in a fitted tshirt for women and a regular fit shirt that’s unisex/men. For my plus-size ladies and folks, order the unisex one (the Hanes tagless tee). They go up to 3XL! I gotchu covered. The sizing info of each type of shirt is available on the page too so check it out to see how they will fit. These tshirts are $20, so they…
  • Facebook is Gonna Label Onion Links as Satire Because Everyone is Slow Now

    Luvvie
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:13 pm
    Facebook is experimenting with a new feature that will tag posts from The Onion as “Satire” when they show up in newsfeeds. Some people are outraged and wondering why they’d do such a thing. I’m here to let you know why: because everyone is slow now. Everyone. It crosses class, gender and ethnic lines. The dense does not discriminate. It’s like critical thinking has gone on permanent vacation since social media has dumbed down our ability to receive and analyze information. Apparently, too many people fall for stories they read from the Onion and there needs to…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE MENSTRUAL CUPS

    Brittany
    14 Aug 2014 | 10:23 am
    Have you tried a Diva Cup? Sometimes it takes a few cycles. Did you give it a few cycles? You have to really push it up there. Like, pinch the rim and push it up there.(...)Read the rest of STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE MENSTRUAL CUPS (1,218 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Girls Who Gush. It’s a Thing.

    Brittany
    4 Aug 2014 | 9:28 am
    Earmuffs, modest ones! Guys, you can stick around, we can’t leave you out of this conversation. It’s just too important, and the fact is, we’re not talking about it enough. Squirting. (...)Read the rest of Girls Who Gush. It’s a Thing. (766 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Inspiration: August’s Writing Prompts

    Brittany
    4 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    Running the Curvy Girl Guide Community puts me in touch with thousands of brilliant women, and their equally brilliant platforms. In an effort to embolden and promote the powerful voices I surround myself with, I’ve developed a month’s worth of writing prompts for them (and you!) to explore and magnify across their blogs and social platforms. After all, who doesn’t need a little bit of inspiration? Click here for August’s writing prompts!  © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any…
  • Bohemian Summer

    Brittany
    28 Jul 2014 | 5:17 am
    I don’t have a single summer memory of my childhood that happened indoors. We simply weren’t allowed. For years and years, summer meant my parents kicking my little brother and I out of the house to explore, play and entertain ourselves until dark. Sometimes it was amazing, sometimes it sucked. I went into fall with callouses so dense on my feet I could cross a stone driveway without wincing. Attractive? No, but at the time a point of pride. I was the only girl on my country road. There were moments that were awkward, like playing spin the bottle with the three neighbor boys and…
  • Whatever Cosmo, There’s a New Sex Quiz In Town.

    Brittany
    25 Jul 2014 | 7:55 am
    You know when your partner does something during sex that does nothing for you, but you’re way too nice to say something? Or like when you really want to try something but are afraid to sound like an aspiring internet sex worker? Me too. I mean, for the most part, I’m pretty good at being my own sex advocate. Like in the heat of the moment when Andy started calling me Baby. Over and over baby… baby…. and it was… the most hilarious thing I’d ever heard. He calls me baby exactly never in real life. So hearing it come out of his mouth made me…
 
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    Boondock Ramblings

  • Improve Your Selling Rate by Using Branded Water

    boondocker
    6 Aug 2014 | 9:55 pm
    One of the most effective ways to make your product known to the public, brand exposure is required. Generally, the reasons why a buyer grew fondness on a specific product is due to its popularity and efficiency. One of the best means in doing it is through having promotional branded water. Most of the flourishing companies these days are utilizing branded water as a great item in increasing the sales of their company. In using this product, it will be easier for you to widen the scope of your target clientele, thus bringing your sales up high. Still, you cannot just provide promotional…
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • The Giganto-Schism

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:30 am
    While the people of St. Tropezia were still somewhat bemused by the dire calamities promised by the Trans-Catholic Church, they found themselves drawn irresistibly to the gigantic women of their saucy little planet, and formed the Giganto Creed. Continue reading →
  • Apocalypse Cow

    Mark A. Rayner
    13 Aug 2014 | 9:01 am
    Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →
  • Under the Blue Curve (Short Fiction)

    Mark A. Rayner
    6 Aug 2014 | 11:28 am
    When Elisa sat down for lunch, Henry Overduin had no idea how much she was going to change his world. She and her colleagues from the Department of Corporate Oversight sat in Henry’s section, but he would have noticed her … Continue reading →
  • A whooshing screensaver

    Mark A. Rayner
    31 Jul 2014 | 10:30 am
    This quote always makes me feel better when time is slipping by on a project that’s due soon. Alltop is a humor project that’s due.
 
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • A Lemon Of A Limerick

    madkane
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:49 pm
    A Lemon Of A Limerick By Madeleine Begun Kane “Turn lemons to lemonade?” Ugh! Such advice sounds to me oh so smug. No I won’t sugar-coat, Cuz it sticks in my throat. But turn lemons to lim’ricks? We’ll hug. Happy National Lemonade Day! (For some odd reason, it’s celebrated both on August 20th and on the first Sunday of May.)
  • Sex Post Facto (Limerick)

    madkane
    19 Aug 2014 | 1:53 pm
    Sex Post Facto (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane What’s the worst you can say after sex? That question continues to vex. But you’ll soon be a loner With this little boner: “You’re not even as good as my ex.”
  • Limerick Ode To Aviation Day (August 19)

    madkane
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:14 pm
    Limerick Ode To Aviation Day By Madeleine Begun Kane On this day, aviation shines bright; Brother Orville, a father of flight, Gets a birthday ovation By prez proclamation. Those who think today’s special are (w)right.
  • Limerick Ode To A Giraffe Lover

    madkane
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:13 pm
    Some zoo visitors are unspeakably stupid! Limerick Ode To A Giraffe Lover By Madeleine Begun Kane Dear giraffe-fan, invading the space Of a youngish giraffe invites chase. I don’t care that it kicked you, Right after it licked you. You’re lucky you still have a face. For those who don’t know the story, it seems a California woman, who’s overly fond of giraffes, climbed into a giraffe exhibit at a Madison, Wisconsin zoo. At that point, a “2-year-old, 12-foot-tall giraffe named Wally gave [her] a lick, then turned and kicked her in the face.” But though…
  • Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)

    madkane
    18 Aug 2014 | 2:53 pm
    What sort of burglar sends stolen jewelry to a newspaper, complaining that the stuff he stole from a socialite turned out to be fake? Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane What bad luck has befallen this snake, Who’s upset by his jew’lry heist take! His chagrin is immense Cuz he called on his fence And was told that his haul was all fake.
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for August 20, 2014

    19 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for August 19, 2014

    18 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for August 18, 2014

    17 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for August 17, 2014

    16 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for August 16, 2014

    15 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
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    CAP News

  • Obama Deploys Drones, Beavers To Protect Iraqi Dam

    20 Aug 2014 | 3:52 am
    MOSUL, Iraq (CAP) - Pres. Obama has announced plans to deploy a fleet of unmanned drones and an army of beavers to the Iraqi city of Mosul to protect that country's major water supply from falling back into the hands of insurgents. The move is being touted as one of the more questionable of Obama's time in office. "For the last time, we're not sending the beavers there to fight the Sunnis�over the dam - that would just be ridiculous," Obama said. "That's what the drones are for. Uhh, that and distracting ISIS away from all the beavers." While the president would not specify exactly what…
  • Cellphone Camera Concert Pictures Win Pulitzer Nod

    19 Aug 2014 | 4:14 am
    NEW YORK (CAP) - A series of blurry photographs taken during a recent Wilco concert by Rhode Island resident Kurt Ward using his cellphone's camera have been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in Feature Photography. Although it is nearly impossible to ascertain exactly what is in the pictures, critics say there is no denying the haunting beauty of the highly pixilated, postage-stamp sized images. "The vibrant colors surrounding the unfocused shadow that I can only assume is [Wilco guitarist] Jeff Tweedy are astonishing in their complexity and nuance," said art historian Robert Medford. "Their…
  • Study: Half Of U.S. Adults Will Be Obtuse By 2030

    18 Aug 2014 | 4:05 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - The number of obtuse people in the United States will increase from 99 million in 2008 to 164 million by 2030, according to a new study by the Pew Research Center. "Possibly more, depending on the relative acceleration of certain societal factors," said Dr. Francis Spitznagel of the Pew Center, citing the number of reality television shows on the air, the preponderance of comments sections on news websites, and whether a Tea Party candidate is elected president. "It was not that long ago that it was relatively uncommon to come across an obtuse person," noted Spitznagel,…
  • Teens Choose Alcohol, Unprotected Sex In New 'Choice Awards'

    15 Aug 2014 | 7:11 pm
    HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Buoyed by their ability to submit ballots anonymously, American teenagers have overwhelmingly chosen Underage Drinking, Risky Sexual Behavior and Peer Humiliation as their favorite things in the 2014 Online Teen Choice Awards. Posting Everything I Do On Instagram came in a distant fourth. "Not to take anything away from Fox's awards show, but I think we've got the beat on what teens are really choosing," said event organizer Chad McDonald. "Of course girls choose Tyler Hoechlin as the Male TV Scene Stealer when they're limited to five choices. "But if you let them choose…
  • Scientists Unearth Largest Upagus Ever To Roam Land

    2 Aug 2014 | 4:37 am
    DURHAM, N.C. (CAP) - Archaeologists with the National Evolutionary Synthesis Center in North Carolina have made a startling discovery that they say could shed some light on one of Earth's most mysterious species: the bones of the prehistoric Upagus. However, scientists are quick to point out that while similar in structure to the conventional Upagus, the skeleton is easily twice the size of its modern-day descendent. "For years, our scope of study has been limited to the only one or two Upagus known to exist," said Dr. Gordon Robinson. "But now to think that these magnificent creatures were…
 
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    Jokes2Go Daily Humor

  • Today's Poem

    19 Aug 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Oh, that supple young man of Montrose Who tickled his tail with his toes! His landlady said, As she made up his bed, "My God! How that man blows his nose!"
  • Today's Joke

    19 Aug 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. "What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady. "Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary. "Well what is it, Mary?" "Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father." "Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?" "Well, yes he did father," replied Mary. "What did he ask, Mary?" Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"
  • Today's Story

    19 Aug 2014 | 5:05 pm
    I was just visiting some friends who have a real working farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them. The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating. I stood there thinking to myself, "Damn ! I hope I never get that hungry."
  • Today's Quote

    19 Aug 2014 | 5:05 pm
    It's one thing to have to explain to a man why a billion dollar measure has been vetoed, but it is much more difficult to explain to a woman why the cap of the toothpaste has not been put back on. - W. C. Fields
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    Jokes - jokes4all.net!

  • No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: ...

    20 Aug 2014 | 3:59 pm
    No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.Until now…
  • Jenny's friend Debbie was at work complaining about a sore throat and laryngitis. ...

    20 Aug 2014 | 1:59 pm
    Jenny's friend Debbie was at work complaining about a sore throat and laryngitis."When I have that I always give a blow job to my husband and the next day I'm better, you should try it."Next day Debbie comes in singing."How did it go?" enquires Jenny."Brilliant" says Debbie, "your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!"
  • What do you call a dog with no legs?

    20 Aug 2014 | 11:59 am
    What do you call a dog with no legs?It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
  • What's the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?

    20 Aug 2014 | 9:59 am
    What's the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?One hates water while the other loves to be wet.
  • Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel." ...

    20 Aug 2014 | 7:59 am
    Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!"Cessna: "Uh ... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
 
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    Karmaloop Coupons - Promo Codes, Rep Codes, Discount Codes for Karmalooop.com

  • LRG Core Collection

    blogger
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:53 pm
    Brand History California streetwear label, Lifted Research Group or LRG further expands its clothing selection with the introduction of its little brother, LRG Core Collection. Established in 1999 by Robert Wright and Joan Bevacqua, LRG has been a fixture in the local and global streetwear scene. And with LRG Core Collection, the brand goes back to its roots, delivering a selection of garments inspired by the skate and hip-hop. From denims to hoodies, key chains to headwear, LRG Core Collection caters to active individuals who are passionate about music and the lifestyle they lead. The…
  • Lime Crime

    blogger
    14 Aug 2014 | 11:08 pm
    Brand History Established in 2008 by makeup artist and makeup junkie, Ms, Doe Deere, Lime Crime is an indie cosmetics label that exploded on the scene with its crazy bright eyeshadows and its revolutionary Velveteen lip creams. Made for women who want to go beyond the typical nudes, reds, pinks and peaches, Lime Crime offers a wider, more vibrant selection of lip, eye and face colors in high performance formulation and gorgeous packaging to boot! As a veteran makeup artist, Ms. Deere created her own makeup line to satisfy women’s (and men’s!) craving for high quality, pigmented and long…
  • Hurley

    blogger
    8 Aug 2014 | 10:46 pm
    Brand History An iconic name in surfing is California sportswear brand, Hurley. Hurley was established by then a 23 year old surf dude named Bob Hurley in 1979. He teamed up with his business manager, Joe Knoernschild, who would later create Billabong. Bob started out in the surf scene by managing his little surf store, shaping surfboards and testing each one out every morning. He is quite a fixture in the California beach scene and despite his laidback look on life, he wanted to introduce surfing on a more global scale. That’s why he co-create his namesake label, Hurley, to deliver top…
  • House of Holland

    blogger
    5 Aug 2014 | 1:35 am
    Brand History House of Holland is a premier UK legwear and hosiery label established in 2007 by designer, Henry Holland. Henry didn’t start off making legwear initially. In fact, he was known for his silkscreened shirts. Despite taking up a radically different course in college (Journalism), his love for fashion and designing garments was something he was really passionate about. So much that he decided to pursue his dreams, establishing his “Fashion Groupies” silkscreened shirts that sold off quite well. From here, he expanded his line to include tights, leggings and hosiery. These…
  • Hawke & Dumar

    blogger
    28 Jul 2014 | 6:39 am
    Brand History Hawke & Dumar is a Southern Carolina lifestyle label established in 1968 by brothers, John and Daniel Dumar and their friend, James Hawke. Having worked in their family business, a retail brand named Dumar & Sons Surplus Co., siblings, John and Daniel has always been dreaming of one day managing their own clothing label. Their experience in selling work wear and tools for local workers in the nearby railroad and lumberyard earned them enough experience about the basics of making quality work wear. Their extensive experience in retail became handy when they established…
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    Luggage Tuesdays

  • Hack List July 2014

    1 Aug 2014 | 7:32 am
    Hack List July 2014What's Hot: Summer binge viewings.What's Not: Summer reading listsWhat's Next: Losing virginity before summer ends.What's Cool: Music playlists.What's Fool: Music albums.What's Next-ool: Music theory.What's Hip: Email newsletter.What's Shit: Your stupid blog.What's Tits: None of it matters.
  • Hack List June 2014

    30 Jun 2014 | 7:46 am
    Here's what hacky as of now:Binge viewing television series and realizing at great lengths you'll go not to read a book.Telling people you cut the cord on television, yet blog "deep-cut" episode recaps.People and television in general.
  • Hack List May 2014

    30 Jun 2014 | 7:42 am
    Here's what's hacky months ago:When the paperboy cycles by your house and you're like, "Where's my paper?" and he's like, "It's online."When you discover the person who coined the term "donkey punch" is still a virgin.People in general.
  • Hack List April 2014

    30 Jun 2014 | 7:23 am
    Here's what's hacky months ago:That scene in the movie where the leads drive and sing along to a song on the radio, and you're all like, "Fuck, I hope my car radio doesn't get stolen while I'm at the movies."That scene in the movie the hero hangs up the phone without saying "bye" and you're all like, "I wish I can hang up on people without saying good-bye. In fact, there's a lot of things I rue about my life."Movies, in general.
  • Hack List March 2014

    30 Jun 2014 | 7:05 am
    Here's what's hacky months ago:That episode of The Muppet Show when no one in the audience laughed.That episode of Two And A Half Men where the men apologize to the kid about all that inappropriate language.TV in general
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • Let’s split!

    Kerry
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:09 pm
    Up next, on Bananas with Low Self-Esteem…   And on the inside… Seriously, what are you waiting for?   (Thanks to Josh in Vancouver and John in NYC for submitting!) related: Yes, we have no inflatable bananas
  • This ain’t Tweeter or Bookface!

    Kerry
    14 Aug 2014 | 7:29 am
    Spotted by Andy at his apartment complex in San Francisco. #kidstoday!!! related: Concerning Bingo Days…
  • As Ed Hardy said, “Flushing kills slowly”

    Kerry
    11 Aug 2014 | 2:38 pm
    Our submitter says this note was posted in a Princeton University restroom by his coworker, who had become “completely obsessed with finding out who didn’t flush the urinal after using it.” After posting the note, he began to discreetly check the urinal every time he saw someone leave the restroom. “Eventually he identified the culprit, and that individual was appropriately shunned,” says our submitter. “At least he kept his oath to God!”   related: Were you raised by wolves? (a flowchart)
  • The Miracle of Love

    Kerry
    5 Aug 2014 | 10:18 am
    We all love a good drama, don’t we?   related: A love story for the ages
  • New York City? Get a rope.

    Kerry
    30 Jul 2014 | 7:53 pm
    Our submitter just moved to a small town in South Dakota, and says that seeing this “edited” ad at a diner was the biggest culture shock she’s had yet! “As an art teacher,” she writes, “I was irritated that someone would try so hard to dissuade some kids from pursuing what sounds like a pretty cool experience.”   related: Hey, redneck
 
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    Guyism » Humor

  • 34 hilariously random Hump Day photos

    Cass Anderson
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:30 pm
    In today’s Must See Imagery we’re tackling the hilarious random Hump Day photos I came across on my daily journey to the center of the Internet. Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), TheChive, amongst others, I’m able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. BOOM. Get your mind out of the gutter! That about sums it up…. Let’s all pour one out… Who do you really think…
  • Two guys act out a conversation between their mom and aunt again, and again I’m dying laughing

    Cass Anderson
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:42 pm
    A few weeks ago we brought you Episode 1 of ‘Sisters’ from The Kloons, and I wasn’t able to explain why it was the funniest thing on the Internet. Today they’re back with episode 2, and it’s still hilarious. If you want to go back and watch Episode 1, you can find that HERE. But again I find myself in a predicament of not being able to describe with this is the funniest damn thing on the Internet, yet somehow it is. Just watch it, and you’ll see exactly what I mean. RELATED: Two guys act out a conversation between their mom and aunt and I just died laughing…
  • How to cut a watermelon in half using just rubber bands

    Cass Anderson
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:33 pm
    In this video we see YouTuber ‘CrazyRussianHacker’ giving us a tutorial on how to cut a watermelon clean in half using just rubber bands. It’s neither practical or faster than using a knife, but it is awesome. I highly suggest watching this video at 2x speed, and maybe turning down your speakers a little because every time they break a rubber band they giggle like Russian school girls. The money shot comes around 2:03 in the video…. I’ll be the first to admit that this is about 100x more entertaining than the garbage I get up to when I’m bored. Good on them…
  • Nick Offerman reading shower thoughts is better than ‘Parks and Rec’

    Chris Illuminati
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:33 pm
    I love Parks and Recreation. This is even better. Shower thoughts is a sub-Reddit where people post the odd thoughts and ideas that pop into their head during a shower. Nick Offerman sat down and read those thoughts out loud. It’s Ron Swanson meets Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. It’s magical. [via Mashable]
  • Sometimes in life there are things that you just can’t argue with

    Douglas Charles
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:21 pm
    Caveman Circus Many times in life someone says something and you stop and think, “Welp, can’t argue with that?” These are those moments. [LINK]
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • My new favorite license plate.

    Jon
    14 Aug 2014 | 2:15 am
    I have no proof that the owners of the car I am about to show you are Christians. They didn’t have an official “Jesus fish” or Ichthus on the back. Although, that symbol usually doesn’t mean Christian, it means, “Worst driver ever.” If you’ve never been cut off by a Christian you have never driven in the Bible Belt. I can’t prove they are Christian or homeschool or any number of other things that might qualify them to be a topic on Stuff Christians Like. But they are stuff and I do like them, which means they fulfill 66% of the criteria and if I hit .660 in baseball I…
  • 29 ways to plan the ultimate Christian Wedding.

    Jon
    29 Jul 2014 | 2:00 am
    This is a picture of a picture from my wedding. We didn’t take it with a camera phone because they didn’t exist at the time. Though it’s not throwback Thursday, I thought I would share both proof I used to have brown hair and a post I wrote about how to plan the ultimate Christian wedding. I know a lot about weddings. I used to write advertising for a company that specialized in rental tuxedos. One of my jobs was to answer all the emails that people sent to a fictional girl called “Jenny.” So on any given day I was emailing wedding advice to anxious would be brides about…
  • Cynicism is a shield. Hope is a hammer.

    Jon
    22 Jul 2014 | 2:00 am
    This is a verse I started carrying in my pocket last week. Here are a few things I think about it. 1. “Taste,” seems like an invitation or a dare. I dare you to try. I dare you to believe for just a second. To not get wrapped up in every bad experience you’ve had with fake Christians or mean churches or any of the clutter that can accompany Christianity. Just taste. 2. “see that the Lord is good,” is one of the hardest things for me to believe sometimes. In my head I know it. I believe he is good, but there are days when I struggle to accept that. To rest in…
  • How to Hillbilly Up a Worship Song.

    Jon
    15 Jul 2014 | 2:00 am
    A few weeks ago, I made fun of my friend Sojourner because he wore a tiger shirt on stage. I teased him because I was jealous that he could pull off a shirt with a full tiger face with no degree of irony. He is simply that cool. He didn’t even reference the shirt during the announcements he was reading from stage. I am not nearly that cool. Even saying the phrase “Snapback” in reference to a hat seems like something I am not cool enough to do. In retaliation, he bought me a shirt, the majesty of which is probably going to explode your computer. I have named it “Freedom,” here it is:…
  • Well actually, the Sabbath is Saturday.

    Jon
    7 Jul 2014 | 2:00 am
    It’s hard to believe that the World Cup is almost over. Soon we’ll have to say goodbye to loads of games, exciting international play, and … the friend who tells you to call it “football” not “soccer.” I love this friend, but only if they call the NFL, “American football.” And they better call the field “the pitch” and be able to name a player other than Ronaldo. If you’re going to chastise me for saying the word “soccer” which is Greek for “seriously, why are we arguing about this over a veggie plate at a…
 
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • There’s Got To Be A Monday After

    PeaceBang
    18 Aug 2014 | 1:25 pm
    Hi dear pigeons, Thank you so much for your wonderful comments in response to my last post, and for your e-mails thanking me and in some cases, attaching the powerful sermons you delivered yesterday. It means so much to me that no one gave me a bunch of crabbing and tried to turn my cri de couer into an argument. I just did not have the energy to deal with that kind of ish. I get enough of that garbage on Twitter. I gave a sermon that said all the honest things I felt obliged to say and I put everything I had into it, so that’s done. We do the best we can and we move on. How did you do?
  • This Sunday, August 17

    PeaceBang
    14 Aug 2014 | 7:28 am
    Preach the front pages. Preach the news. Preach the fire. Preach the rage, the sadness, the lamentation. Preach it fierce. Bring your rage, your solidarity, your authority to confront: to confront ourselves, to confront our God, to confront yourself, to confront our sick, sick society. Confront what is really happening. Do not “spiritualize.” Do not offer bromides, cliches, or a load of Christian crap that everyone has heard before and that you yourself have heard too many times coming out of your own mouth because it feels easier to say that crap than to cover yourself in…
  • Miss Bacall, Cousin Betty

    PeaceBang
    12 Aug 2014 | 6:15 pm
    It has been a terrible week. Too much violence in the world, too much ignorance and killing and evil levels of cruelty. Then we lost a brilliant comic to suicide, and the only thing good that can come of that is a public conversation about suicide and why it’s not fair to call it “selfish” when depression is a disease that steals people’s ability to think beyond their pain. Chronic clinical depression causes agonizing suffering. Pastors need to understand that this is not a matter of “think happy” or “pray more” or “reach out and…
  • Instant Brow Lift

    PeaceBang
    9 Aug 2014 | 6:36 am
    Eyebrows are important! They really are! They frame your face, open your expression, and give you LIFE. If they’re growing all crazy and fuzzy, your brows can make you look old and tired and scowly. Get them shaped! Get them shaped by a professional just once in a while and keep them groomed in between visits. PeaceBang has very skimpy brows at this point in her life, so she doesn’t so much need to get her brows waxed or threaded as to make sure she takes the two seconds each morning to fill them in a bit. I use either Anastasia powder and a little angled brush or a Benefit soft…
  • Preaching Folders

    PeaceBang
    9 Aug 2014 | 6:04 am
    Hi Cookies!! How have you been? I have been doing a lot of nothing that I SHOULD be doing, but that’s the curse of vacation, isn’t it? You think, “Oh, I have all this blessed time to organize my study and think Big Thoughts, and pray every day like a Desert Father, and walk for an hour a day,” and you wind up eating popcorn and watching “Vicious” on PBS and cackling like a nasty little child at the delicious spectacle of two of England’s best actors dish each other, and you hardly walk the dog at all because he is suddenly aggressive with other…
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    The Junk Drawer

  • Back to School Crazy

    Kathy
    8 Aug 2014 | 3:46 pm
    I’d like to start off by saying I tip my hat to all you parents out there. I’m constantly amazed at how you pull off the hardest job in the world, all with a myriad other stresses in your life. I don’t know where you get the time or energy for it. Pat yourselves on the back. Go ahead. Do it. Those of you with kids returning to school in the fall are probably running around right now trying to get all your ducks in a row. I’ve heard of schools sending parents a list of things their children will need before school starts, especially grade school-aged children. Very specific lists that…
  • If Grammar is So Hard, What Hope Do We Have for World Peace, Really?

    Kathy
    12 Jul 2014 | 6:06 am
    Amazon just yelled at me in an email to get off my ass and blog more. Apparently, they like it if the people who subscribe to Junk Drawer on Kindle actually get something they pay for. Since I haven’t written in a month, I got flagged for being a slacker. Sorry Kindle people! I promise to do better and stop writing exclusively for The Facebook. Starting with two grammar failures I found on TV graphics within 12 hours of each other. Signs the world is going to hell in a hand basket: unnecessary apostrophes and misspellings. First, this one had me confused because the TV was muted and I…
  • Maybe Poke It With a Stick?

    Kathy
    1 Jun 2014 | 12:29 pm
    I had no intention of walking ten miles today, I really didn’t. In fact, when I went to bed last night, it was with such a creaky body I figured I would spend all of today on the couch. Instead, I woke up feeling like my whole body had been replaced with one that actually works. When that happens, you take every advantage of it, especially since I’ve suffered from some recurring, frustrating knee pain lately. Pain that’s kept me from doing any kind of meaningful exercise. Since I had zero pain today, I set out to do one or two miles. Which turned into four, which turned into six and…
  • When Is a Walk Not a Walk? When It’s a Near-Death Experience

    Kathy
    27 Apr 2014 | 10:36 am
    Note: Long read ahead. The TL;DR version is this – Went for a walk with a friend. Walk turned into a getting-lost hike in unfamiliar wilderness. Thought I would die. Didn’t die. Now for the long version. Yesterday I met up for lunch with my good blogging friend Valerie. We met halfway between where we each live, in Whitehouse, NJ. After lunch she suggested we go for a walk. "Sure! Let’s!" She pulled out her iPhone and asked Siri for nearby parks. We were going to drive to one park, but passed a different place Siri mentioned that was closer and stopped there instead, Round…
  • Lunatic in Aisle 9

    Kathy
    11 Apr 2014 | 4:57 pm
    It’s always something with me. I went to Wegmans after work today for some grocery shopping. Grabbed one of those two-tiered shopping carts that are smaller than a regular cart, but bigger than a hand basket. I got about 10 feet from the cart corral before realizing I had an unbelievably loud and annoying “crazy wheel” in the front. You know, the one that does whatever it wants, when it wants. The bad seed. Because I always think I can somehow jerk it back into a normal wheel position and make it behave, I kept using the cart – pushing harder, making zig zag turns, cursing at it –…
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    Hot Ghetto Mess

  • Mo’Ne Davis – Sports Illustrated {Not Ghetto}

    melee
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:25 pm
    GREAT STORY COURTESY OF MOTHER JONES! READ HERE…
  • She Throws Like A Girl… {Not Ghetto Mess}

    melee
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:46 pm
    “At 13, Mo’ne Davis boasts two assets any baseball player would covet: a killer arm and fierce confidence. “Throwing 70 miles an hour – that’s throwing like a girl,” the star of the Philadelphia Taney Dragons told CBS News of her famed fastballs. On Friday, the South Philly native became the first girl to throw a shutout in Little League World Series history, allowing only two hits, striking out eight batters and walking none against Tennessee.” READ MORE…
  • Open Track Mess

    melee
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:42 pm
  • Lashes Mess

    melee
    18 Aug 2014 | 8:02 pm
  • Dance Mess [ghetto video]

    melee
    18 Aug 2014 | 6:15 pm
 
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • Magnet Videos, How Do They Work?

    16 Aug 2014 | 12:20 pm
    (It's nearly time for another round of Secondhand SCIENCE, but there's still time to see last Sunday's scintillating take on sublimation. Okay, technically there's always time to see it, assuming the internet continues to exist and the checks to my bandwidth provider don't bounce. Still. Also, if such things interest you, my contributions for Apartments.com are in full swing. If you love renting, or Boston, or both, or neither, you should totally check it out.) "Like how everyone finishes New Years' resolutions before the calendar rolls again, or how we always poop between grande burritos."…
  • Pimp My Gimp

    7 Aug 2014 | 2:17 pm
    (For those in search of additional silly words of mine: The Secondhand SCIENCE topic this week is telomeres. Those are little dangly bits hanging off the ends of your chromosomes. There's no need to be embarrassed -- everyone's got 'em, and you can't get rid of them. Until you do, and then you're probably dead. Check 'em out. Also, for Boston-area types, I wrote some stuff about local comedy and whackadoodle pizza. One is delicious and the other is hilarious -- but I'm not saying which is which.) Speaking (parenthetically, above) of Secondhand SCIENCE, writing over there for the past few…
  • We're Always Togetherments, Even When We're Apartments

    1 Aug 2014 | 3:35 pm
    (You like the sun? Of course you like the sun! Who doesn't like the sun? Then you may be interested in all the sunshine I blew up the sun's butt over at Secondhand SCIENCE this week, when I wrote about the heliosphere. That's a sun thing. For real. Go check it out, sunshine.) I had plans for posting here this week. I did. First, I was going to show off a bunch of pictures I've made. Really silly, jagged-edged, no-excuse-for pictures -- mostly to support the ridiculous words I've written over at SS in the past six months. (And to prove that I have the Photoshop skillz of a one-armed colorblind…
  • If the Bit Fits, You're in Deep Shit

    23 Jul 2014 | 5:52 pm
    (Need some science in your life? Of course you do! This week, the science fix over at Secondhand SCIENCE is all about electric bacteria. No, it's not a disease you catch from watching too many '80s breakdancing movies. I promise. Check it out.) I'm a tad OCD. Just a tad. I take even numbers of steps, eat French fries in pairs and dutifully eat every scrap of food on my plate. Don't always want it. Didn't always put it there. But by god, I eat it. Because I'm broken. But just a tad broken. This is why I didn't realize what hell I was unleashing a few weeks ago when I decided to get my wife a…
  • {Hi|Howdy|Hello}, You're a {Moron|Chowderhead|Boob}!

    15 Jul 2014 | 9:55 pm
    (You can't slow down science. And that includes Secondhand SCIENCE. This week, the topic is double-slit experiments. No, seriously. It's a physics thing. I didn't make a single sex joke in the whole piece. I know. I can't believe it, either. Go see.) Spammers are such a bunch of weenies. I think of people who barf spam into the world in the same way as a greasy old guy with a combover hitting on every young chick who walks into a bar. I mean, sure -- there's a shot at a big payoff. A minimal shot. Infinitesimal. Like, a girl would have to walk in, be struck blind, down a party ball full of…
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    List Of The Day

  • News: Fourth-Grade Teacher Polishing Up Speech On This Not Being Third Grade Anymore

    Cary McNeal
    20 Aug 2014 | 8:30 am
    From The Onion. Fourth-Grade Teacher Polishing Up Speech On This Not Being Third Grade Anymore PALMYRA, PA—Saying it was important for her students to understand their increased expectations at the start of the new school year, Pine Street Elementary school teacher Veronica Potter reportedly spent Sunday evening putting the finishing touches on a speech that will inform her incoming class they
  • Things We Wanked To Before We Had Access To Porn

    Cary McNeal
    20 Aug 2014 | 7:37 am
    From The Frisky: "Before the invention of the world wide web, before we even knew porn existed, you best believe we were masturbating. And in a lot of creative ways. We feel bad for the young people today who can just log onto their computers and have a world of whack off materials with a single click. 'Back in the olden days,' we'll brag to our kids, 'we had to use our imaginations to
  • High Dive Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    19 Aug 2014 | 7:30 am
    Nailed it!
  • Sexy Selfie Fails Of The Day (NSFW-ish)

    Cary McNeal
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:30 am
    Thanks for the idea, Kyle Teichow. And one WIN:
  • WTF Comcast? Of The Day, Vol. 2

    Cary McNeal
    18 Aug 2014 | 10:30 am
    I still want this job. From WTF Comcast. (See Volume 1 here.)
 
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    YouTube: Comedy

  • Gmod Zombies - Escaping the Apocalypse! (Garry's Mod Sandbox Funny Moments & Skits)

    VanossGaming
    16 Aug 2014 | 9:03 pm
    Gmod Zombies - Escaping the Apocalypse! (Garry's Mod Sandbox Funny Moments & Skits) Leave a Like if you enjoyed the vid! Thanks for the support :] Spreadshirt Shops: US Shop - http://vanossgaming.spreadshirt.com/ UK Shop - http://vanossgaming-uk.spreadshirt.co.uk/ EU Shop... From: VanossGaming Views: 3232792 88482 ratings Time: 10:55 More in Gaming
  • IF BIEBER WROTE HIS SONGS

    Smosh
    16 Aug 2014 | 3:15 pm
    IF BIEBER WROTE HIS SONGS Bloopers, BTS, and More! http://youtu.be/GWVQvtr3Geg Get the songs! (CLEAN) http://smo.sh/DbagMedleyCLEAN (EXPLICIT) http://smo.sh/UltDbagMedley Visit the Sm... From: Smosh Views: 1648873 52888 ratings Time: 05:55 More in Entertainment
  • Jason Statham Nearly Drowned Filming The Expendables 3

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    16 Aug 2014 | 4:00 am
    Jason Statham Nearly Drowned Filming The Expendables 3 Jimmy talks to the action star about his movie The Expendables 3 and Jason's near-death experience on set. Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: http://bit.ly/1nwT1aN Watch... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 252818 5085 ratings Time: 04:08 More in Comedy
  • Call of Duty 4: Prop Hunt Funny Moments - Cinder Block Family, Seananners' Hack (COD4 Mod)

    VanossGaming
    14 Aug 2014 | 8:02 pm
    Call of Duty 4: Prop Hunt Funny Moments - Cinder Block Family, Seananners' Hack (COD4 Mod) Leave a Like if you enjoyed the vid! Thanks for the support :] Spreadshirt Shops: US Shop - http://vanossgaming.spreadshirt.com/ UK Shop - http://vanossgamin... From: VanossGaming Views: 3315872 83957 ratings Time: 10:17 More in Gaming
  • His Netflix is F*cked Up

    CollegeHumor
    14 Aug 2014 | 11:30 am
    His Netflix is F*cked Up You never really know a man until you've scrolled a mile in his queue. See more http://www.collegehumor.com LIKE us on: http://www.facebook.com/collegehumor ... From: CollegeHumor Views: 832417 23316 ratings Time: 02:42 More in Comedy
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    English Russia

  • Ukrainian Flag on Stalins Skyscraper in Moscow

    tim
    20 Aug 2014 | 9:02 am
          Some dudes today climbed one of the so called “Stalin’s Skyscrapers” – high stored buildings built during Stalin’s reign, and placed Ukrainian flag there. They also painted top part of an already yellow star on top of … Read more...
  • Pictures of the Moscow Kremlin Half a Century Ago

    team
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:33 pm
    The photos are probably not later than 1959. They look like still images, some of them have lost their color, and others have become reddish. Though av-atus, the blogger, did what he could to restore them somehow. The pictures were … Read more...
  • Belorussian Family Keep Wolves As Pets

    team
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:22 pm
      This family from Zacherevye, Belarus, has been keeping wolves as pets since 2009. The head of the family, Oleg Seleh, is a local game biologist. It was he who once brought wolf-cubs home. The wolves are living on the … Read more...
  • Russian Submarine Fleet In Early XX Century

    team
    18 Aug 2014 | 7:10 pm
    Let us see what the Russian submarine fleet looked like in the early 20th century. Here we go… Launch of an American Holland class submarine made at the Baltic factory. Launch of a minelayer “Ersh” from the building slips of … Read more...
  • Vehicles In the World Without People

    team
    18 Aug 2014 | 6:52 pm
    The Chernobyl Exclusion Zone has many interesting objects worth seeing: houses of Pripyat, overgrown remains of Soviet symbolism, industrial radio factory “Jupiter’, the fifth unit of the Chernobyl NPP… At the same time, there is one more important element in … Read more...
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    Strange Herring

  • “The Giver” and the Gift That Keeps on Taking

    Anthony Sacramone
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:38 am
    So I have a review over at the Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong. Every single time.” So says the Chief Elder, a firm believer in the Reformed doctrine of total depravity, apparently. In The Giver, the film adaptation of Lois Lowry’s 1993 award-winning, giga-billion-selling novel, we are introduced to a Community born out of the Ruins, the result of a cataclysm so devastating that remnant elites constructed an artificial environment in which there is no war, no suffering, no envy, no jealousy, no differences to fight…
  • Declare Social-Media Bankruptcy

    Anthony Sacramone
    23 Mar 2014 | 11:39 am
    Carrie Brownstein did. And all she lost was Fred Armisen. Filed under: Social Media Is Neither
  • The Rapper and the Nun

    Anthony Sacramone
    22 Mar 2014 | 4:06 pm
    So Sister Cristina Scuccia is a 25-year-old Sicilian nun who appeared on the Italian edition of The Voice. J-Ax, apparently, is a rapper of devilish reputation. When asked by the host what the Vatican thought about her appearing on The Voice, Sister Cristina replied, “Listen, I really don’t know. I am waiting for Pope Francesco to call me on the phone . . . He always says we should go out and evangelize, telling [people that] God doesn’t take anything away from us, but will give us more.” Enjoy. Filed under: "Entertainment", General Strangeness
  • A Tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman

    Anthony Sacramone
    15 Mar 2014 | 2:51 pm
    Crafted by one Caleb Slain, this is a wonderful mosaic of Hoffman’s work. My favorite performances had to have been those given in Charlie Wilson’s War, The Master, Mission Impossible III (in which he definitely plays against type, and to great effect), Doubt, and Synechdoche, New York. (His Oscar-winning performance as Truman Capote goes without saying.) See if you agree with me that there are a couple of overwrought turns, particularly in Patch Adams and Almost Famous. Warning: there are many many uses of the eff word. Many many. Filed under: R.I.P.
  • Is This the Worst Sitcom in the History of Sitting?

    Anthony Sacramone
    15 Mar 2014 | 9:21 am
    Imagine some comic “genius” finds himself standing in an elevator next to a TV-network executive and decides he has 30 seconds to make a pitch for what he believes will be a groundbreaking situation comedy. COMIC GENIUS: Think “Adolf and Eva — their home life.” Like The Honeymooners, only starring a genocidal madman and his lady love. Imagine the gags: Hitler has a bad day at at the Eastern Front and decides he’s not taking the garbage out no matter what Eva says. Eva think Hitler’s having an affair and so decides to bug his office. Hitler and Eva are…
 
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Claw VS Paw

    awkward
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:32 pm
    The Clawrate Kid has met his match…   The Clawrate Kid has met his match…  
  • I Have A Confession To Make

    awkward
    19 Aug 2014 | 10:03 pm
    Dear Buzzfeed, Uproxx, Time, EW, HuffPo, Gawker, Perez Hilton, Daily Mail, Yahoo, Vulture, USA Today, Celebuzz, and everyone else on the internet, Yep, I wrote the ill-fated Not Another High School Show that seems to be making the rounds due to the fact it featured both Alison Brie and Jennifer Lawrence before they were famous. Some have been kinder than others and actually get that the show was intentionally silly. Others like Joshua Rivera from EW.com decided to go after me with their snark pistols fully loaded, which is to be expected. Now to the show itself… is it a masterpiece? No.
  • 5 Wedding Faux Pas

    awkward
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:32 pm
    (via TheChive) (via TheChive)
  • Impressions

    awkward
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:40 pm
    Let’s just say he will have a hard time dating. (submitted by Jamie) Let’s just say he will have a hard time dating. (submitted by Jamie)
  • Bulbous

    awkward
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:43 pm
    A perfect fit. (submitted by Gabriela) A perfect fit. (submitted by Gabriela)
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    Fair City News

  • Ferguson Flash Mob Dance Cancelled

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:06 am
    Flash mob maybe not a great idea right now Ferguson, MO – Organizers of a charitable flash mob have cancelled plans for the event which was to be held this Saturday. The group was planning to assemble suddenly in a public place near downtown Ferguson to perform an interpretive dance to “Call Me Maybe” in order to bring attention to a nearby charity. “We were planning to gather and perform an unusual and seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then quickly disperse, for the purposes of entertainment, and to raise awareness,” said one leader, “however given the recent events we…
  • Mike the Intern: August

    FairCityNews.com
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:57 am
    104.7′s Mike the Intern Summer is coming to a close, which means school is just around the corner. So to help you out with your book, school supplies, and clothes buying blues, I have made a list of some great school songs. Enjoy. STAY FREE – THE CLASH    Mick wrote this song after reminiscing about a school mate who ended up in the slammer. *Note to self, stay in school. BE CROOL TO YOUR SCUEL – TWISTED SISTER   I remember this song from One Crazy Summer. Remember that movie? It was when Demi Moore was still hot, Bobcat Goldthwait was in it and screaming at…
  • Fantastic Sam’s Caverns Opening July 2015

    FairCityNews.com
    15 Aug 2014 | 5:25 am
    Springfield, MO – After much debate, locals and tourists alike are rejoicing at the announcement/agreement that has merged two beloved pastimes – haircuts and cave tours to form Fantastic Sam’s Caverns. The new twist on the cro-magnon hipster movement is all the rage with young Springfieldians and history buffs alike. Fantastic Sam’s Caverns will offer haircuts during a 6-mile tour in a custom Jeep Wrangler equipped with old school barber chairs. For customers who prefer facials, stylists will be applying real bat guano from the cave with 20% discounts for any customer who…
  • Fail Sign August

    FairCityNews.com
    14 Aug 2014 | 5:57 am
  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Aug 2014 | 7:19 am
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    FMyLife

  • HungryStudent says FML

    HungryStudent
    20 Aug 2014 | 11:59 am
    Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole my all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML
  • Kev says FML

    Kev
    20 Aug 2014 | 10:53 am
    Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics. thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML
  • ithinkicanmakeit says FML

    ithinkicanmakeit
    20 Aug 2014 | 10:01 am
    Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML
  • Mia says FML

    Mia
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:07 pm
    Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
  • BagelTheOtaku says FML

    BagelTheOtaku
    19 Aug 2014 | 10:15 pm
    Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML
 
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Meanwhile in Florida, Pants Continue to Vex

    Kevin
    20 Aug 2014 | 1:08 pm
    As the nation wrestles with difficult issues of race, violence, civil rights, and foreign entanglements, one community has yet another seemingly intractable problem to deal with: saggy pants. Actually, as long-time readers will know, many American communities have struggled with the low-pants problem over the years. Just a quick search shows close to a dozen posts on pants-related legislative efforts in Tennesee, Michigan, Georgia, Louisiana, and especially Florida. Of course there are constitutional implications, such as those I pestered the Michigan ACLU about in 2008. But my…
  • Feds Say Legally Dead Is Slightly Alive

    Kevin
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:17 pm
    Miracle Max: He probably owes you money, huh? I'll ask him. Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.  Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. Inigo: What's that?  Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change. The Princess Bride (1987)  This doesn't quite fit, but it's close and an excuse to…
  • Quadrigamist Tripped Up by Facebook Photos of Fourth Wedding

    Kevin
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:30 am
    While the main purpose of this thing is entertainment, it is actually quite possible to learn useful information from reading it. Especially if you are an aspiring bigamist. The latest non-reader to pay the price is a 49-year-old South Carolina man (let's call him "Darnell," because that's his name) who has been accused of having four wives at the same time. (He has actually had five wives, but he did divorce one of them.) Under South Carolina law, "[a]ny person who is married who shall marry another person" is guilty of bigamy. Any person who is married who shall marry four other…
  • In Which I Am Used to Embarrass Fox News

    Kevin
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:15 am
    So this just happened on Twitter: And yes, that's me (on her television, apparently). The general theme of the thread that followed was something like "Fox News thinks this bird-poop thing is more important than #Ferguson!" It very well may, but this was Fox Business News and they were just re-running the John Stossel show I was on a few weeks ago (pre-Ferguson, in fact). Now, are they running it instead of covering Ferguson? Yes, although this is not the main Fox News channel and I don't think they do live news at all on FBN, actually. And if this had been primarily a news show, they…
  • Ferguson Cops Once Beat an Innocent Man and Then Charged Him With BLEEDING ON THEIR UNIFORMS

    Kevin
    15 Aug 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Wait—that's got to be an exaggeration. It's not like the reporter is actually quoting the charge sheet— "On and/or about the 20th day of Sept. 20, 2009 at or near 222 S. Florissant within the corporate limits of Ferguson, Missouri, the above named defendant did then and there unlawfully commit the offense of 'property damage,' to wit, did transfer blood to the uniform," reads the charge sheet. Okay then. No Yelp reviews yet, but only getting 1.2 stars on Google+ As Michael Daly reports at The Daily Beast, the address where the defendant was said to have so wantonly damaged these…
 
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    nonamedufus

  • What the Hell Is #Lostmyliverpalooza?

    nonamedufus
    19 Aug 2014 | 4:30 am
    "This party's gone to the dogs."I started posting about it 15 days before it arrived and Facebook friends kept asking me that question. It was just a smart-alecky name we chose to refer to a gathering of several bloggers.Now, sadly, #lostmyliverpalooza has come and gone and with it the exits of Cheryl Duford and husband Rick, Paula Larew Wooters and my brother Whitey. We had planned to accommodate Nicky Eff but, alas, the poor woman was felled by pancreatic problems. Some people will go to any lengths just to avoid meeting us."Lost my liver" quickly turned to "lost my liquor" as hardly any…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    17 Aug 2014 | 5:48 am
  • I'm Not That Guy Anymore - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    12 Aug 2014 | 12:12 pm
    He was early. He sat, ordered a draft and took a sip. His mind drifted back to those carefree days of their youth. They grew up together. And did what little boys did. They joined Cubs, each earning every badge there was. They played Little League. Best friends on the same team. Pitcher and Catcher. They destroyed the opposition. He smiled to himself over memories of Grade school together. They were a couple of holy terrors, inseparable and always getting into trouble.But they had lost touch, thought Bill. Stephen and his family had moved away to California, half a world away from Jersey. It…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    10 Aug 2014 | 4:00 am
  • Summer Will End - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    5 Aug 2014 | 7:31 am
    She felt his hand brush lightly against her wrist. It travelled up her arm causing the nearly invisible hairs there to stand on end. She turned to look at him siting there beside her. She felt warm and it wasn't from the sun-filled day on the beach which was now beginning it's descent. No, it was a warmth in the glow of their love.They'd been inseparable since school broke for the summer and what started as a friendship, a close friendship, had grown into something much more. Their friends remarked they never saw one without the other and it was true. From morning till night, day-in, day-out,…
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    Ann's Rants

  • My privilege is showing. It think it’s probably better that way.

    Ann Imig
    14 Aug 2014 | 5:10 pm
    I feel confident writing humor and publishing it here. I enjoy this luxury– blogging and spearheading LTYM–while conscious of self-employment as a luxury that any manner of life-events could interrupt. My privilege of creative expression stems from stability–at present a life free of major stressors (illness, poverty, for starters, and racism is where this is going) and, historically, a life full of pretty much every imaginable support. Fear has kept me from writing this post–fear of showing my privilege, of saying the wrong thing, of sounding like I know what…
  • I present a book cover, some beautiful photos, and myself as a joey. Voila!

    Ann Imig
    13 Aug 2014 | 6:10 am
    Some exciting things occurred this week: photo by Wesley Verhoeve On Sunday I met an intriguing, innovative guy named Wesley Verhoeve, who creates beautiful things that move people. He interviewed me for his cool project #OneOfManyUSA in which he travels to 12 cities interviewing creative folks. photo by Wesley Verhoeve On Monday I revealed the cover of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER: What she said then, what we’re saying now. I hope you like the tagline, as it took me several iterations. It’s already available for pre-order! Finally, my friend Vikki photo-shopped me into a Kangaroo pouch…
  • #ThrowBackThursday : Humiliated 7 Year Old Ballerinas

    Ann Imig
    7 Aug 2014 | 11:02 am
    The picture above represents the “before” when I stood, filled with pride, in my first (Chartreuse) tutu, in my first stage make-up, for my first ballet performance.  You can tell I followed instructions about where to place my hands for this photo, and also that my hair did not cooperate for the ballerina bun. What I didn’t know is that I was mere moments from my first directing gig, too. Our enthusiastic and gentle teacher (Meredith, I think?) led us from the high school classroom, down a ramp, and corralled us back stage in the auditorium. She lined the class of…
  • Jewish Mothers,Tripping

    Ann Imig
    17 Jul 2014 | 6:20 pm
    Husband remembers a story about his childhood best friend’s Jewish grandmother; late one night, she called 911 herself, and let the paramedics in– herself– mid-heart attack “because she didn’t want to wake anyone.” My mom once found my Granny wrapped in a blanket shivering in the kitchen in the middle of the night. She refused to let my mom turn on the light, not to mention turn up the heat… “I’m not cold!” Mom turned up the heat and went back to bed. Mom herself took a rather nasty fall the evening before our planned family…
  • My 2014 LTYM Video

    Ann Imig
    10 Jul 2014 | 7:13 am
    Shine on, Ann’s Forehead! [If you can't see the video embed, click here] LTYM’s season includes not only our live-shows in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day, but also our epic video release when we add hundreds of videos from our shows to our YouTube channel. Thanks to CollegeSavingsChillout.com by T. Rowe Price, LTYM added 400 new videos from 2014!! Check out EVERYBODY FREAKS OUT– their funny children’s-style book for parents–only five bucks and 100% proceeds benefit Junior Achievement USA. Watch the 2014 videos on the Listen To Your Mother YouTube…
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    FAIL Blog

  • You Could Choose Literally Any Name for a Horse

    20 Aug 2014 | 4:00 pm
    Submitted by: (via dgl316) Tagged: accidental sexy , name , horse , failbook , g rated Share on Facebook
  • Some Color/Pattern Combinations Don't Belong on Panties...

    20 Aug 2014 | 3:30 pm
    Submitted by: (via Urban Outfitters) Tagged: panties , poorly dressed , g rated Share on Facebook
  • Are These Leg Guards Legal?

    20 Aug 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Submitted by: (via specialk3) Tagged: sports , hockey , design , g rated , win Share on Facebook
  • Dream Big

    20 Aug 2014 | 2:30 pm
    Submitted by: (via blink7377) Tagged: school , goal , kids , parenting , Spider-Man , g rated Share on Facebook
  • Break Time!

    20 Aug 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Submitted by: (via Izismile) Tagged: monday thru friday , construction equipment , construction , sitting , break , g rated Share on Facebook
 
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    The Bean

  • Target Store Opens More than Three Checkout Lanes; Shoppers Confused

    Bejewell
    2 Aug 2014 | 9:10 am
    AUSTIN, TX—Shoppers used to waiting in long lines at a local Target store’s three open checkout lanes were baffled this Saturday when a fourth register was opened. “We all just stood there, staring at each other,” said Nina Martin, a mom of three who was fifth in line at Lane 26 in the Parmer/I-35 North location when the light for Lane 27 suddenly flashed on. “There were at least three people behind me and we all wanted to rush over there, but none of us did because we just couldn’t believe it.” Store manager Nicholas Strong made the unprecedented decision to open a fourth…
  • Death By Toenail

    Bejewell
    29 Jun 2014 | 8:20 am
    The Big Bean is one of my favorite people in the world. He’s a great husband. A wonderful father. A good friend. He works hard to provide for his family. He makes me laugh every day. And last night, he almost killed me with his toenails. For years I’ve joked about his poor foot grooming habits, complaining (mostly in jest) that the nails were too long and too strong, the jagged bits dangerously sharp (but probably convenient when climbing). I’ve called him names like Fred Flintstone and Tarzan. I’ve asked him to fetch me a bunch of bananas from the tallest tree in the…
  • Know Who’ll Love This Giveaway? Your Mom

    Bejewell
    7 May 2014 | 6:07 pm
    I don’t often do giveaways. In fact, I’ve only done one giveaway on this blog that I can remember, and that was like six years ago when I still had a Blackberry. I gave a $5 gift card to the first person who correctly identified the mysterious booger-like substance I found on my desk. (Correct answer for the curious: Lotion spooge.) So clearly I’m not an expert in the giveaway department. But when I met this amazing jewelry designer named Ryan Sadkin, I knew I had to do one. Because Ryan Sadkin, being not only an incredibly talented designer but also just an all-around super-hot and…
  • Action:Reaction

    Bejewell
    24 Apr 2014 | 8:54 pm
    IF YOU… I WILL… Hold the door open for me Thank you profusely Do NOT hold the door open for me Thank you anyway, with dripping sarcasm Tell me what to do Take great pleasure in doing exactly the opposite of whatever you just said Tell me I can’t do something Prove you wrong Cut me off in traffic Wait until I’m next to you again, then casually scratch my nose… with my middle finger Ask me what time it is Answer with either, “MILLER TIME!” or “Time to make the donuts” Become famous simply because you have big tits, a big ass, big hair or big money Never never never watch…
  • Happy Pie Day!

    Bejewell
    14 Mar 2014 | 9:27 am
    Today is National Pi Day. Pi is a really really long number that has something to with circles. It’s important for a lot of big reasons that a lot of very smart people understand. On Pi Day they get super excited and talk about it a lot. And that’s everything I know about Pi. In celebration of this day that is very important for many reasons that I don’t understand and never will and don’t want to, I will now share with you an excerpt from my award-winning*, best-selling**, top-reviewed*** book Something Smells Like Pee (and Other Classy Observations) , which is…
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    Unique Scoop

  • You Will Swear These Paintings Are Real (14 pics)

    Scoop
    20 Aug 2014 | 9:20 am
    Gustavo Silva Nuñez is getting a lot of attention for his hyper realistic paintings and it's not hard to see why. If you were standing close to one of these paintings you would think you might get wet. That's how real they look.
  • Ten Awesome Independent Flicks from the Last Decade

    Scoop
    20 Aug 2014 | 9:17 am
    Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012) Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012)Hard to go wrong with these two in the title roles. C & J tells the tale of two lovers who seperate but attempt to keep the feelings they had in the form of a friendship. The plot sounds stale but it is a fresh take on the typically boring rom com genre.RT: 70%The Savages (2007)A terrific performance from Phillip Seymour Hoffman. This one can be difficult to watch as its main focus is on a deeply troubled family and the past they cant escape. Regardless it is a strong tale that carries through the climax with a good…
  • Man Has To Steal His Own Bike (6 pics)

    Scoop
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:45 am
  • Making Knives Out Of Railroad Spikes (25 pics)

    Scoop
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:44 am
  • Truths You Just Can't Disagree With (30 pics)

    Scoop
    18 Aug 2014 | 8:13 am
 
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    DOG AND PONY SHOW

  • Everyone needs to stop what they’re doing an follow Tim...

    chrisdaps
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:45 am
    Everyone needs to stop what they’re doing an follow Tim Duffy immediately.  I’m calling it now a Bucket of Ice Water will be Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. — Tim Duffy (@TimDuffy) August 17, 2014 @TimDuffy pic.twitter.com/denaaLgibi — Tim Duffy (@TimDuffy) August 18, 2014
  • create-preserve-destroy: chrisdaps: I am Bob. We. Are....

    chrisdaps
    18 Aug 2014 | 8:41 pm
    create-preserve-destroy: chrisdaps: I am Bob. We. Are. Bob. Touché.
  • Here Is The Complete Schedule Of Every Episode Of FXX's 'The Simpsons' Marathon | Uproxx

    chrisdaps
    18 Aug 2014 | 1:57 pm
    Here Is The Complete Schedule Of Every Episode Of FXX's 'The Simpsons' Marathon | Uproxx: popculturebrain: Here’s when every episode airs.
  • Modelo Especial Celebrates Craftsmanship With Collectible...

    chrisdaps
    13 Aug 2014 | 12:29 pm
    Modelo Especial Celebrates Craftsmanship With Collectible Glasses Here at DAPS we’ve always been big fans of Modelo Especial’s particular brand of delicious Mexican beer. First off, if you haven’t tried it, you should. Go ahead, run off to your local deli and get some. Leave the tab open. We’ll be here when you come back.  ::waits for you to come back:: Hi, welcome back. I hope the deli you went to had some Modelo. If not, we hope you requested that they get it in. Either way, our “time on site" just got one hell of a boost. Anyway, we wanted to tell you about this new campaign…
  • annetdonahue: Aaaand tears.

    chrisdaps
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:52 am
    annetdonahue: Aaaand tears.
 
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    Living in L.A.

  • About VW Fuses

    Kung Fu Kev
    5 Aug 2014 | 11:23 pm
    Forget it. VW fuses are a black art. You have wave a dead chicken over it, roll the bones, examine the entrails, do a rain dance, and know the right incantation before you can get that information. It's easier just to trace it with a multimeter. - From an online forum for VW drivers
  • Immediacy

    Kung Fu Kev
    5 Aug 2012 | 8:45 pm
    Immediacy Immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture. We seek to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves, the reality of those around us, participation in society, and contact with a natural world exceeding human powers. No idea can substitute for this experience. One of the Ten Principles of Burning
  • Pat Summitt Takes on Alzheimer's

    Kung Fu Kev
    11 Jul 2012 | 8:06 pm
    In a tear-jerking televised event, the 2012 ESPYS featured Pat Summitt, the legendary basketball coach who retired from the University of Tennessee, as this year's Arthur Ashe Courage Award winner. She was recently diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease, forcing college basketball's all-time winningest coach to retire from the game she loves. She now focuses on confronting this disease
  • Save Money on Your Commute: 2012's Best Value Vehicles

    Kung Fu Kev
    14 May 2012 | 8:38 pm
    Are you looking to stretch out the money you   invest every month into your automobile? Well, after you apply Obama's current advice and check your tires for proper inflation, you should read to the end of this post  (you must click the link to expand this post). After expanding the post, tap on the link to check out this year's  USAA Preferred Vehicle list, where they list the Best
  • Google Finally Admits It, They're Testing Augmented-Reality Glasses

    Kung Fu Kev
    7 May 2012 | 1:11 am
      Greetings! Google finally dispels the rumors about their  super-secret AI glasses.  In the latest set of photos, dispersed to the public through Google's  personal muppet-  Blogger.com. Photos like these show what the future may look like:    Ooppps! That's not the glass project... This is: Thats more like the one's we were referring to....
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    Futility Closet

  • Stage Fright

    Greg Ross
    20 Aug 2014 | 11:45 am
    “Not to be born is, past all prizing, best,” wrote Sophocles. Does this mean that life is not worth living? For surely that judgment must be made from “inside” a lived life, whose subjective judgments are always open to question. In four U.S. states a severely disabled child can sue a doctor for “wrongful life” for bringing him into the world. In 1980 the California Court of Appeal wrote: The reality of the ‘wrongful-life’ concept is that such a plaintiff both exists and suffers, due to the negligence of others. It is neither necessary nor just…
  • Spanagrams

    Greg Ross
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:47 pm
    In 1948 Melvin Wellman discovered this pretty anagram: ELEVEN + TWO = TWELVE + ONE Lee Sallows discovered two similar specimens in Spanish: UNO + CATORCE = CUATRO + ONCE DOS + TRECE = TRES + DOCE These can be combined to make more: UNO + DOS + TRECE + CATORCE = TRES + CUATRO + ONCE + DOCE UNO + TRES + DOCE + CATORCE = DOS + CUATRO + ONCE + TRECE
  • See Also

    Greg Ross
    19 Aug 2014 | 3:20 pm
    Index entries in Thomas De Quincey’s Collected Writings, 1896: Aldermen not necessarily gluttons Anecdotes, on eating peas with a knife Bed, early retirement to, of the Ancients Christenings, Royal, often hurried Coffee, atrocious in England Cookery, English, the rudest of barbarous devices Devonshire men good-looking Fleas in Greece Greece, Ancient, its people a nation of swindlers Horses, weeping Johnson, Dr, at dinner, an indecent spectacle Leibnitz, died partly from the fear of not being murdered Lisbon earthquake and its effect on the religion of Germany Muffins, eating, a cause of…
  • Change of Venue

    Greg Ross
    19 Aug 2014 | 7:18 am
    A and B are playing a simple game. Between them are nine tiles numbered 1 to 9. They take tiles alternately from the pile, and the first to collect three tiles that sum to 15 wins the game. Does the first player have a winning strategy? Click for solution …
  • Unquote

    Greg Ross
    18 Aug 2014 | 11:17 pm
    “The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.” — Horace Walpole “Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.” — Inscribed on Thomas Huxley’s memorial
 
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Dog Food diet

    traymond
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:00 am
    While at Wal-Mart buying a bag of dog food. in the checkout line, a woman behind me asked if | had a dog.  On impulse, | told her that no, | didn’t have a dog. |’m starting the dog food diet again. | probably shouldn’t because | ended up in the hospital last time. | lost 50 pounds before | woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms! | told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so…
  • Watch out for the chicks

    traymond
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:13 am
    Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. So Farmer John called the local police station to complain, “You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer. “What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman. “I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!” So the next day the…
  • The Will

    traymond
    15 Aug 2014 | 7:47 am
    A man is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to Speak: My son, “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.” “My daughter “Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.” My son, “Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.” “Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.” The…
  • Teaching Math

    traymond
    13 Aug 2014 | 10:44 am
    Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ? Teaching Math In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1980s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? Yes or No Teaching Math In 1990s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math In 2000s A…
  • Where was Jesus born?

    traymond
    12 Aug 2014 | 6:48 am
    A pastor told the story of asking his son where Jesus was born. After the son didn’t know, the pastor gave him various hints—it was a place with cows, sheep, hay, etc. Finally, the son guessed—“The state fair?”
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    Renée Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in Design

  • Window Boxes & Faux Balconies

    11 Aug 2014 | 3:04 am
    window boxes, faux balconiesI adore window boxes and false balconies!!!Adding window boxes filled with flowers can radically change the facade of a building.Beacon Hill in Bostonwindow boxes, faux balconiesI think the window boxes mounted on the second story adds charm to this already pretty home.There is no limit to what you can use.Just fill with flowering plants and mount to a wall, door , or a window.window boxes, faux balconiesThis really says "NYC SPRING"window boxes, faux balconiesFaux BalconyWhat could do more for a structure than a faux balcony? Faux BalconyI have found a…
  • I Need A Rock

    11 Jun 2014 | 3:55 am
    It is finally beginning to warm up...there are signs of life ....the trees are sprouting tiny chartreuse leaves.The forsythia are just now starting to bloom.The tulips are beyond confusedAnd so am I. Last Thursday I went sailing with a friend and it was beyond divine.Not a cloud in the sky.Sun.Warmth.I really thought that I had died and gone to heaven.my girl JOEYYes.It was a good day.One of the best that I have had since my move here. The next day I worked in the yard with my motherand it was a typically dismal and chilly.We mulched, raked leaves and planted.The very next day was…
  • Barn Doors & Barn Door Hardware

    27 Apr 2014 | 4:16 am
    Barn Doors & Barn Door HardwareI have a long time love affair going on....with barn doors.When I used this concept in a job 10 years ago,it was hell to find the hardware.At the bottom of this post you will find the source for thesebarn doors & the hardware.It is a great site.There is a great selections of barn doorson this site.Use your imagination.....where would you use a BARN DOOR?Do you like barn doors ?And if you do....Where would you used a barn door?Have a great week.Rustica Hardware...WOW. What a source!!!http://rusticahardware.com/ Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her…
  • An Artists Retreat In Bolinas California

    22 Apr 2014 | 3:54 am
    I was watching a expose on a community in California called Bolinas.When I googled images for Bolinas California up popped this artists retreat.I was wow'd out by the interiors so I have posted the home in Bolinas.I found out who the designer was and it was a mother daughter team from Truckee Nevada.Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?I have. My Dad had 2 restaurants on the Lake.It is amazing there....the area truly is kissed by G-d.Well, Truckee Nevada is right outside of Tahoe....on the way to Reno.Truckee is the town where this mother daughter team have their design…
  • Late Snow In Maine

    19 Apr 2014 | 5:13 am
    It seems as though summer will never come.We have had temps in the 20's all week.The Mainer's assure me that this has been a horrible winter and that it is a rare one as well.In March I was really wondering if I could tolerate these Maine winters.But alas......the memory of summer,and the hope of a Maine summer keeps me going.Yes.Summer in Maine is that magical.I love every day of it.ArcadiaThe lilacs will soon arrive.The deep green will arrive.And my favorite summer flower.....the poppy will come too!!! Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton…
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • 7 Things You Should Know Before You Graduate from College

    Wesley Jansen
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:12 pm
    Article by Wesley Jansen WARNING: The following article is not intended for mature audiences. It is intended for college graduates and those pursuing their degree. It is poorly written, opinionated, immature, highly offensive, and unsupported by research. It lacks thematic unity, and it contains extremely bad transitions. Reading this article while sober may result in dizziness, headaches, nightmares, social and political apathy, untimely bowel movements, divorce, a sudden interest in the history of vegetable packaging, and an unstoppable urge to impale yourself on top of a sharpened broom…
  • 10 Less-Popular Relaxation Soundscapes

    Eric Koeppel
    18 Aug 2014 | 8:41 pm
    Article by Eric Koeppel Look, I get it, it's nearly impossible to fall asleep in a world fueled by 5-hour Energy drinks, Java Monsters, and Dewskis. But what are you gonna do? Stop drinking them?! Get real, man. What you need is one of those sweet relaxation soundscapes that your step-mom plays at her massage studio.The only problem is that all of them are the same: birds chirping, rain falling, wind blowing, some jerk on Ambien just barely playing the synthesizer enough for it to qualify as music. Sure, all of that stuff is relaxing to some, but what about the rest of us? The weirdos? The…
  • As a Clairvoyant, I am Able to— Hey, Where're You Going?

    Michael Jenkins
    17 Aug 2014 | 7:16 pm
    Article by Michael Jenkins Hello, I can sense that there is something troubling you. It feels to me like there is a gaping hole in your family life. Did you lose someone close to you in the past few years? I can feel your sense of loss and I would like to tell you that everything is going to be okay. How do I know this? Well, it's simple: as a clairvoyant, I am able to— hey, where're you going?What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Let me tell you something: neither did I. At first. For too long I had shirked the notion that I had "the sight." I figured it was just allergies,…
  • A Birthday Coup D'Etat: Prince George of Cambridge Turns 1

    Adam Fishbein
    15 Aug 2014 | 2:18 pm
    Article by Adam Fishbein Prince George wakes up very early on the morning of his first birthday. Unlike other royal babies, he is not shy about his desire to rule. He cries until his nanny rushes over and picks him up from the crib.Carry me to the changing table, he orders her. She complies and wipes his bottom and replaces his nappy. Yes, that's better, he says. He's promised her a high role in his cabinet once he becomes king. He pulls her close. Loyalty, he tells her, is greatly rewarded. But cross me, and I'll make you pay.She shoves his legs and arms through the holes in his sailor…
  • The Boy Who Cried Fuck

    Mark Loper
    14 Aug 2014 | 8:19 pm
    Article by Mark Loper The boy did like to party. He went out every night of the week, and if he wasn't hanging out with his friends he was out dancing, drinking, or maybe going to a basketball game.The boy might not have done drugs, but he did love to drink Jose Cuervo Clasico Silver tequila. He was probably an alcoholic. But his friends liked him because he was fun, laughed at their jokes, and drove a restored, cherry red '67 Mustang. The boy's friends were good people but shallow.I'm fucking sorry but can u give me a ride? I don't wanna be taking it up the fucking ass in Mexico. Lately, the…
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Last words

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dan died and Marie’s heart was broken. She could not be consoled. The regular pastor was not available and so they found one from the neighboring area. The new one asked Marie some questions so that he could say something nice about Dan in his sermon. Finally he asked: “What did Dan say just before he died? I mean, what were his last words?”Marie was thoughtful, then said: “Marie, don’t pull the trigger.”
  • The hunt

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dean and Martin hired a small plane to get into deep forest to hunt deer. They spent the whole afternoon and killed four big deer. They then called for the pilot to pick them up. When the plane came, they started to load their rifles and other equipments along with the four hunts. At this, the pilot objected saying the plane could take load of only two kills. Dean argued that the previous year too their pilot had allowed four kills and it was the same model plane. The pilot gave in reluctantly against his better judgment.They boarded the plane with their load. But after gaining height the…
  • Aggressive bull

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Farmer Joe's latest addition to his farm was a young cow. The moment the cow entered the farm gate, Joe's big bull spotted her and started stomping it's feet. It became aggressive and started kicking and jumping. Farmer Joe feared the bull would knock her up. He wanted the cow to feel at home first before letting her out with the bull. So he consulted the local vet who advised Joe to tie a big curtain around the cow's rump to keep the bull away.Joe did just that and went to sleep. The next morning, he went to check on the cow but she was nowhere to be seen. Joe followed the trail of her steps…
  • Blind

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    The Sunday church was full, and everyone was singing spiritual songs. The rhythm was building up into a frenzy. A pretty young woman, leaning ahead in the balcony, lost her balance in her enthusiasm and fell over the railing.As she was falling, the hem of her dress got caught in the chandelier. Though it arrested her fall, her dress was pulled over her waist for a nice view available to everyone below.The preacher shouted, "Any man who looks up shall turn blind!"Old man Jason whispered into his friend's ears, "I think I will take that chance. My right eye isn't worth much anyway!"
  • White-haired woman

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    My father was  out for his morning jog, when he noticed an old white-haired woman seated on a bench and crying uncontrollably. My father stopped to check what was wrong and if he could do anything to help her.Still sobbing, she said to Dad, "I have a husband at home who I am married to since the last 48 years. He makes love to me in the morning. For breakfast, he makes poached eggs, toast, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms and fresh coffee for me very morning." My father asked, "So why are you weeping?"The white-haired woman said, "For lunch, he prepares broccoli soup, salad, steak and…
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • The tabla player

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Surjan Singh, a tabla (Indian drum) player came home after performing in a concert in another city.When he entered his town, he saw a cloud of smoke at a distance. He kept walking towards the smoke,as it was in the direction of his house. As he approached closer, his worst fears came true. It was his own house on fire.There were policemen and firefighters all over the place. An officer asked him, "Are you the owner of this house?""Y-yes" muttered Surjan.The officer said to him, "Your conductor had come to your home. He broke the furniture, molested your wife, beat your son, strangled your…
  • I can see it

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Jason says to his wife Leena, "You know I am happy to meet your friend Anita."Leena says, "I know. I can see it through your pants!"
  • Home early

    Mitesh Asher
    15 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Maria was happy to see her husband Ken come home early."Darling", said Maria,"How come you are home early? Plan to take me out for dinner or do you have some other surprise?"Ken replied, "Neither. Only following the boss's instructions. He asked me to go to hell."
  • Lazy son

    Mitesh Asher
    13 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    I was mad at my 12 year old son for shirking his early morning jog. When I caught him resting on a bench instead of jogging, I commented, "At your age, I thought nothing of a 5 km jog.""Huh, Dad", replied my son, "I don't think much of it either."
  • Tried & trusted

    Mitesh Asher
    11 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Roger Kroner, a business tycoon, walks into a financial institution and says to the pretty receptionist, "I would like to have a word with Mr. Ben Moore, who I believe is a tried and trusted member of this organization."The receptionist, fixing her make-up, replies, "He sure was trusted. And he will definitely be tried once our legal dept catches him!"
 
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • Don't Miss Out! Get Your Name On the Waiting List For Daniel Grant Newton's Issue #1 of 'Spies, Lies and Mysteries'

    Daniel Newton
    14 Aug 2014 | 8:58 pm
    Hey e-buddy, hope your week has been awesome and you are riding high on the #TGIF wave.  Whoa dude! Hold your magic unicorns though, because if your week has been going well, prepare to have it go even better. And if it hasn't gone well, prepare for it to get better. How much better you ask? Getting to put your name on the waiting list for a free copy of my freakin' awesome comic better.  
  • Cover of my new comic 'Spies, Lies and Mysteries: Paint the Town Red' hot off the press!

    Daniel Newton
    4 Aug 2014 | 6:51 pm
    Hey my dear blog buddy,  Hope your week is going 'crazy, sexy, cool' good.  So last week I revealed a little bit of my comic showing a painting I had done, today I'm going to reveal to you - my super awesome blog follower - the front cover of the comic, and how that painting will be used. Also, on a side note, if you live in or near Brisbane, Australia, an art gallery will be opening
  • What? Hitler Getting Paint in the Face??

    Daniel Newton
    31 Jul 2014 | 5:56 am
    In Da Face Hitler! Yep, that's Hitler getting paint in the face and melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.   I painted this painting for the front cover of my first comic in an oh so exciting series that will be released soon, and before that be showcased in an art gallery opening on August 13th (details to follow).   Want to know what my comic is going to be about?  All will be revealed
  • Happy Batman Day! from Daniel Grant Newton (DGN Productions)

    Daniel Newton
    22 Jul 2014 | 7:42 am
    'Catwoman and Batman' by Daniel Grant Newton Hey Friends!  Today is 'Batman Day', a day designated to celebrate the 75th anniversary of Batman, so I sketched this picture for the day.  I used a pacer and a pink highlighter for those playing at home.
  • My Top Nerdy Memes - 200th Blog Post Celebration

    Daniel Newton
    3 Jul 2014 | 7:03 pm
    In celebration of my 200th post (last post), I have decided to share my top nerdy memes I have created for Twitter to date (e.g. Batman, Arrow, Stargate, Doctor Who memes, etc).  Here I go: 10. Is it just me or does the "Try the new Twitter profile" guy look like Matt Smith? pic.twitter.com/lw9g8lnkfb — DGN (@dgnproductions) May 25, 2014 9. Can anyone think of a funny caption? I'm thinking:
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    Unlikely Explanations

  • Zombie Unicorns, and Why I Hate Them

    Laura Pearlman
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:48 am
    Okay, technically this post isn’t about zombie unicorns or why I hate them. It’s about a short story I wrote called Why I Hate Zombie Unicorns, which you can read over at Shimmer. This is the first short story I’ve ever sold, and I’m pretty excited about it.
  • Mudville, 2358 (Casey at the Bat, With Aliens)

    Laura
    21 May 2014 | 6:00 am
    Mudville, 2358 The crowd at Mudville Field was full of hope that autumn day. They’d come out by the thousands just to see their home team play. Three billion of us watched remotely from our homes and bars And just about a million from the colony on Mars. Earth’s major league team managers had come up with a scheme To trade their strongest players to create one perfect team. When Mudville won that lottery they also won the chore Of crushing Earth’s most bitter rivals from Tau Ceti Four. Tau Ceti’s long-term strategy was not above reproach. A team’s star player might be summoned by…
  • Pop Quiz: Internet Marketing

    Laura Pearlman
    8 May 2014 | 7:00 am
    1. On which website would you be most likely to find an ad for used kitty litter? The Onion Craigslist Amazon.com Figure 1. What’s wrong with this picture? 2. Take a moment to examine Figure 1. What’s wrong with this picture? In description on the left, the apostrophe is missing from the word “World’s”. The standard list price for cat litter is, apparently, $96.85 for a 7-pound bag or $109.47 for a 14-pound bag. Used kitty litter costs more than new kitty litter. Used kitty litter is being offered for sale. 3. Every two weeks, Alice’s cats convert 25 pounds…
  • Valentine (2014)

    Laura Pearlman
    14 Feb 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Roses are red Violets are blue My library books Are all overdue. Roses are red Violets are too Rose-colored glasses Are what I see through. Roses are red Goulash is stew Have a nice meal And don’t get the flu. Roses are red Some cheese is bleu But not the kind That’s good in fondue. Roses are red Kittens say “mew” My cats are cuter Than your kangaroo.
  • Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs

    Laura Pearlman
    5 Feb 2014 | 12:25 pm
    If you have any doubt that cats are better than dogs, please take a few minutes to do the following: 1. Sit in a comfy chair in a warm room with a cup of your favorite hot beverage. 2. Read the classic Jack London short story To Build a Fire, a harrowing account of a man and a dog struggling to survive in extreme cold weather. 3. Read Darla’s (She’s a Maineiac) Tales From the Ice Storm of 1998 (part 1 and part 2), a hilarious account of a woman and a cat struggling to survive in extreme cold weather. I rest my case.
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    The Humor Blog

  • Edinburgh Fringe – Survival Guide

    Expert Contributor
    14 Aug 2014 | 9:22 am
    It’s about the time again for the Ed Fringe, almost a month of fun and entertainment in Scotland’s ancient capital. Here is a visitor guide for all you fun nutters. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Let’s help the Starlight Children Foundation together

    Chris
    20 Jun 2014 | 6:29 am
    Lucky Pants Bingo has teamed up with the Starlight Children Foundation to make ill childrens dreams come true. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Why do we say Things Like “Im Bored Out of my Tits”

    Chris
    14 Jun 2014 | 7:57 am
    You here young people say random phrases like this, but why, what does it even mean? Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Comedians to look out for at the Edinburgh Festival 2014

    Chris
    8 Jun 2014 | 2:17 am
    A look at some of the most exciting acts to look out for at the 2014 Ed Fringe festival Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Three of the Best American Sitcoms you Should be Enjoying with your New Digital TV Setup

    Chris
    27 Apr 2014 | 3:11 am
    A look at some of the best sitcoms that have come from the US and can now be seen in the UK. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
 
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    Fair City News

  • Ferguson Flash Mob Dance Cancelled

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:06 am
    Flash mob maybe not a great idea right now Ferguson, MO – Organizers of a charitable flash mob have cancelled plans for the event which was to be held this Saturday. The group was planning to assemble suddenly in a public place near downtown Ferguson to perform an interpretive dance to “Call Me Maybe” in order to bring attention to a nearby charity. “We were planning to gather and perform an unusual and seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then quickly disperse, for the purposes of entertainment, and to raise awareness,” said one leader, “however given the recent events we…
  • Mike the Intern: August

    FairCityNews.com
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:57 am
    104.7′s Mike the Intern Summer is coming to a close, which means school is just around the corner. So to help you out with your book, school supplies, and clothes buying blues, I have made a list of some great school songs. Enjoy. STAY FREE – THE CLASH    Mick wrote this song after reminiscing about a school mate who ended up in the slammer. *Note to self, stay in school. BE CROOL TO YOUR SCUEL – TWISTED SISTER   I remember this song from One Crazy Summer. Remember that movie? It was when Demi Moore was still hot, Bobcat Goldthwait was in it and screaming at…
  • Fantastic Sam’s Caverns Opening July 2015

    FairCityNews.com
    15 Aug 2014 | 5:25 am
    Springfield, MO – After much debate, locals and tourists alike are rejoicing at the announcement/agreement that has merged two beloved pastimes – haircuts and cave tours to form Fantastic Sam’s Caverns. The new twist on the cro-magnon hipster movement is all the rage with young Springfieldians and history buffs alike. Fantastic Sam’s Caverns will offer haircuts during a 6-mile tour in a custom Jeep Wrangler equipped with old school barber chairs. For customers who prefer facials, stylists will be applying real bat guano from the cave with 20% discounts for any customer who…
  • Fail Sign August

    FairCityNews.com
    14 Aug 2014 | 5:57 am
  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Aug 2014 | 7:19 am
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    Words, Pictures, Humor

  • What does your wine label say about you?

    drewdernavich
    18 Aug 2014 | 6:00 pm
    I don’t know anything about wine (although I did this cartoon about the language of wine). I prefer whiskey, honestly. But sometimes you have to buy a bottle of wine. And when I do, I’m just as likely to be influenced by the label as anything else, because – yeah, art. I made a list over at Curator about the different categories of wine label design, and what each says about it’s buyer. Read it here.  
  • Wrecking Brush

    drewdernavich
    17 Aug 2014 | 6:13 pm
    The 21st Precinct police building, on East 22nd St in New York City, is a long-defunct building targeted for demolition. But before it gets the wrecking ball, it is the temporary home of a plethora of great wall art, curated by Robert Aloia. Brooklyn Street Art has the story behind the exhibit as well as a good documentation of images, so I won’t merely repost anything that you can see there. But I went to the opening this weekend (it is up for one more week) and here are some shots from that. It was hot, crowded, and claustrophobic, but as they wrote at BSA, there aren’t too…
  • While Supplies Last!

    drewdernavich
    18 Jul 2014 | 6:33 am
    I just uploaded a t-shirt design to TeePublic. It’s only $14 today, but will be $20 after. Hey, I think it’s worth it at either price, but why not get it now?
  • Cooling it

    drewdernavich
    18 Jun 2014 | 7:00 am
    It’s suddenly that time of year when my hand is sticking to the page, because of the humidity. It’s time to break out those cooling summer cartoons! An issue of the New Yorker makes a nice face shield. And you can use the back issues – you know you’ve got them lying around – to cover your other body parts. I did this one a few years ago and am still waiting for the movie to be made about this summer superhero. For this week’s issue I thought of a similar idea. Full disclosure: I got my grad school degree in drawing shade. My professors said it was at least…
  • Mashed

    drewdernavich
    9 Jun 2014 | 8:13 pm
    I was already a fan of Fela Soul, Amerigo Gazaway’s full album mashup of Fela Kuti and De La Soul tunes, so when he asked me to do the cover for Yasiin Gaye, the second volume of his project mashing up the music of Mos Def and Marvin Gaye, it took me a hot second to mull it over before saying yes. The record has something of a backstory. Gazaway’s previous release, Bizarre Tribe, which set the vocals from The Pharcyde over the music of A Tribe Called Quest, met a quick internet death.  It was effectively shut down by Sony, who cited copyright infringement despite the fact that…
 
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    12 Most

  • 12 Most Go-To Grammar Tips

    Becky Gaylord
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Becky Gaylord   Most of us must communicate in writing — not necessarily with paper and a writing instrument anymore, yet digital media has changed only the tools we use. In fact, as new-fashioned means of communication have multiplied, so have demands for the old-fashioned skill of conveying information in writing. See, we still write cover letters, memos […]
  • 12 Most Annoying Adoption Questions

    Jill Robbins
    18 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Jill Robbins   Two of my kids are adopted from China. After two years of parenting children who “don’t match” me, I’m still surprised by the willingness of strangers to approach me and ask personal questions. They usually aren’t trying to be rude but some of the stuff people ask is annoying. Here are […]
  • 12 Most Powerful Ways To Build Instant Influence

    T J McCoy
    12 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By T J McCoy   We’ve all heard, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” But I disagree. Its not about who you know. It’s really about who knows you. Just because you’ve met someone, doesn’t mean they’ll help you get into the job you want, or refer you to the sale you […]
  • 12 Most Spectacular Tools for Bootstrapped Freelancers

    Liesha Petrovich
    11 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Liesha Petrovich   Freelancers love effective and affordable tools. For you, time really is money. Most freelancers get paid by the job, not hourly — so you love any tool that helps get the job done faster and cheaper. And just because you’re a bootstrapper doesn’t mean you want to look like a bootstrapper! Your […]
  • 12 Most Avoidable Mistakes When Building Your Brand

    Scott Mickelson
    5 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Scott Mickelson   From major corporations to just mom and pop businesses, branding is the glue that holds together the relationship with their audience. While things like names, logos, and slogans are what we see and hear when we think of a brand — in and of itself, a brand is actually just the sum of […]
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:56 pm
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:56 pm
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:56 pm
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:56 pm
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    20 Aug 2014 | 5:56 pm
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Last words

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dan died and Marie’s heart was broken. She could not be consoled. The regular pastor was not available and so they found one from the neighboring area. The new one asked Marie some questions so that he could say something nice about Dan in his sermon. Finally he asked: “What did Dan say just before he died? I mean, what were his last words?”Marie was thoughtful, then said: “Marie, don’t pull the trigger.”
  • The hunt

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dean and Martin hired a small plane to get into deep forest to hunt deer. They spent the whole afternoon and killed four big deer. They then called for the pilot to pick them up. When the plane came, they started to load their rifles and other equipments along with the four hunts. At this, the pilot objected saying the plane could take load of only two kills. Dean argued that the previous year too their pilot had allowed four kills and it was the same model plane. The pilot gave in reluctantly against his better judgment.They boarded the plane with their load. But after gaining height the…
  • Aggressive bull

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    Farmer Joe's latest addition to his farm was a young cow. The moment the cow entered the farm gate, Joe's big bull spotted her and started stomping it's feet. It became aggressive and started kicking and jumping. Farmer Joe feared the bull would knock her up. He wanted the cow to feel at home first before letting her out with the bull. So he consulted the local vet who advised Joe to tie a big curtain around the cow's rump to keep the bull away.Joe did just that and went to sleep. The next morning, he went to check on the cow but she was nowhere to be seen. Joe followed the trail of her steps…
  • Blind

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    The Sunday church was full, and everyone was singing spiritual songs. The rhythm was building up into a frenzy. A pretty young woman, leaning ahead in the balcony, lost her balance in her enthusiasm and fell over the railing.As she was falling, the hem of her dress got caught in the chandelier. Though it arrested her fall, her dress was pulled over her waist for a nice view available to everyone below.The preacher shouted, "Any man who looks up shall turn blind!"Old man Jason whispered into his friend's ears, "I think I will take that chance. My right eye isn't worth much anyway!"
  • White-haired woman

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Aug 2014 | 12:01 am
    My father was  out for his morning jog, when he noticed an old white-haired woman seated on a bench and crying uncontrollably. My father stopped to check what was wrong and if he could do anything to help her.Still sobbing, she said to Dad, "I have a husband at home who I am married to since the last 48 years. He makes love to me in the morning. For breakfast, he makes poached eggs, toast, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms and fresh coffee for me very morning." My father asked, "So why are you weeping?"The white-haired woman said, "For lunch, he prepares broccoli soup, salad, steak and…
 
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    Older Women Rock

  • R.I.P. Robin Williams

    LilyoftheWoods blog
    11 Aug 2014 | 5:22 pm
    This news has felt catastrophic.  I always felt Robin Williams to be the pied piper of our generation; Taking us to warmer shores. Our loss. Heaven's gain. Not much to say.  Just too stunned.
  • Are sex scenes in movies mandatory?

    LilyoftheWoods blog
    29 Jul 2014 | 7:29 am
    I am beginning to think that  there is a law somewhere in the movie biz universe that viewers are not privy to.  This law may state that there has to  be a sex scene in the first 10 minutes of the movie.  No matter what the movie is about; no matter if the audience is not interested and only wants to get into the story.   After all, why else do they include these excruciating scenes that only the director likes?  Do not get me wrong, if it really fits, go for it.  However, there should be a darn good reason to add it.   Let's get to the story.
  • Let's Kick the Can

    LilyoftheWoods blog
    1 Jul 2014 | 1:24 pm
    Your body might deteriorate a bit, but your soul never has to. Remember that classic Twilight Zone episode, "Kick the Can?"   Its about residents in a nursing home that were resigned to just hang around till they dropped dead.  Kind of like some of us. Anyhoo, one of them had an inspiration.  Actually the old guy got a hell of a spiritual insight. He does not dismiss it, just because it seemed simple, either.  Most of us have all kinds of intuitive perceptions and quickly forget them.  Not this old guy; he went with it.   In  a flash he…
  • Alcohol getting you down? For Those Tired of Being Sick and Tired.

    LilyoftheWoods blog
    24 Jun 2014 | 11:40 am
    After many years of drinking socially, I realized that I had finally had enough of getting up in the morning with a tongue that felt as though I had scraped it on sand the night before. If I wanted to have a fun, healthy lifestyle and control my weight, alcohol had to go. I found  a way that worked for me and decided to write an Ebook about it.  I include some of the techniques that worked for me.  I hope it will serve as an inspiration if you also have this problem and have had enough. 1.  Commit yourself 100%.  Why? Because you finally realize that there is NOTHING…
  • From the Waltz to Twerking

    LilyoftheWoods blog
    1 May 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Now that woman have a leg up, so to speak, in our society, why do these females use it to climb up a pole?  All this groveling and sticking their butt up?  Just to please a simple minded humanoid? Puh-leeze. These women make anyone that happens to be in the same vicinity, embarrassed as heck.  For them. What the hell happened?  Please, priceless 21st century females, don't try so hard. Society has always needed the women to lead the way. We are visionaries. Women's gift is to inspire; not to grovel. The boys can play in the mud all by themselves without your…
 
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    Now That's Nifty

  • 10 Christmas Life Hacks

    18 Aug 2014 | 3:54 pm
    Are you a poor schuck? Can you barely afford toilet paper, let alone wrapping paper? You're in luck. Check out these 10 Christmas life hacks. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • The Future of Robots

    14 Aug 2014 | 10:14 am
    Pretty cool video about how robots are evolving in our world. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Awesome Street Performer Playing the Pipes

    8 Aug 2014 | 10:27 am
    Move over Mario, this guy is the new king of the pipes. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • People power frees man trapped by Perth train

    8 Aug 2014 | 8:58 am
    If people can build pyramids, I guess they can move trains too. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • 11 Brilliant Car Hacks

    30 Jul 2014 | 12:03 pm
    Why drive like an amateur? Why live like your in the dark ages. Take it to the next level with these 11 car hacks. Thanks to Toyota Carlsbad for the great ideas. 1. Can’t Find Your Car? Can't... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • The Giganto-Schism

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:30 am
    While the people of St. Tropezia were still somewhat bemused by the dire calamities promised by the Trans-Catholic Church, they found themselves drawn irresistibly to the gigantic women of their saucy little planet, and formed the Giganto Creed. Continue reading →
  • Apocalypse Cow

    Mark A. Rayner
    13 Aug 2014 | 9:01 am
    Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →
  • Under the Blue Curve (Short Fiction)

    Mark A. Rayner
    6 Aug 2014 | 11:28 am
    When Elisa sat down for lunch, Henry Overduin had no idea how much she was going to change his world. She and her colleagues from the Department of Corporate Oversight sat in Henry’s section, but he would have noticed her … Continue reading →
  • A whooshing screensaver

    Mark A. Rayner
    31 Jul 2014 | 10:30 am
    This quote always makes me feel better when time is slipping by on a project that’s due soon. Alltop is a humor project that’s due.
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    Chandra Clarke

  • What’s the Path to Success?

    Chandra Clarke
    18 Aug 2014 | 2:52 pm
    Chandra Clarke Recently, I was invited to give a speech to a large group of teens from the Junior Achievement program (here are the Canadian and US group links). If you can forgive the humblebrag, it was very well-received, and several people suggested I reproduce it on one of my blogs. So without further adieu, here it […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • You Need To Get Out More

    Chandra Clarke
    1 Aug 2014 | 1:08 am
    Chandra Clarke It has been said that we, as a society, are “a long way from the farm.” As this is usually said by those annoying early-to-rise types who also say that by six a.m. “half the day is gone,” I’ve tended to discount it. Lately however, I find myself agreeing with that statement more and more. […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • That’s the way the ball bounces

    Chandra Clarke
    6 Jul 2014 | 5:25 am
    Chandra Clarke And in other news today, authorities have issued this travel advisory to North Americans planning to visit Europe in July: Don’t bother. This follows yesterday’s announcement about traveling to South America in July, which was: Consider rescheduling. These are, of course, very similar to advisories issued last week, which were: “Africa? Never mind” and “Australia? […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Bought The Farm

    Chandra Clarke
    17 May 2014 | 9:18 pm
    Chandra Clarke I wonder how many readers out there are contemplating an early retirement, complete with half-formed dreams of moving out to the countryside? You know, escaping the cell phone networks and email boxes to work the land and grow food in some sort of idyllic, slow-moving, rural setting. Boy, have I got news for you. Farming […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • This Is Your Brain On Drugs

    Chandra Clarke
    28 Apr 2014 | 1:02 am
    Chandra Clarke I felt ill after watching TV on Sunday night. No, I wasn’t watching reruns of Fear Factor, although I agree that show was enough to nauseate anyone. It was the commercials that got me. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched TV “live,” you see — that is, watched it as it is broadcast. I […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
 
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    Stuff You Couldn't Make Up

  • The Sounds of the Space

    SYCMU
    6 Aug 2014 | 12:13 am
    The planets, the rings of Uranus and Saturn, and the Sphere of IO all have sounds; sounds that may remind you of something you will hear in a Sci-fi or scary movie. NASA constantly records these sounds. You may want … Continue reading →
  • Go Pro Camera Attached to a Car Wheel

    SYCMU
    28 Jul 2014 | 11:48 pm
    The results are beautiful, and very much hypnotizing. I have never seen anything like it. Kudos to the guy who thought of the idea! Sketch Three: Avant-Garde (R.P.M. 2) from Ryan Fox on Vimeo. Link to this post!
  • Laugh of the Day

    SYCMU
    26 Jul 2014 | 12:54 am
    Here are a selection of funny images. You thought you could outsmart your grandpa? Link to this post!
  • Strategic Plans of Various Teams at the World Cup

    SYCMU
    16 Jul 2014 | 4:06 pm
    Here is a quick review of what went on tactically at the 2014 FIFA World Cup Games. Wonder what the Argentinian plan would have been like! Link to this post!
  • David Beckham Makes World Cup Final Prediction

    SYCMU
    12 Jul 2014 | 11:39 pm
    While many vote in favour of Germany, after witnessing Brazil’s 7-1 defeat, David Beckham believes Argentina will defeat the Deutsch 3-1. “He is amazing” said Beckham about Argentina’s star, Lionel Messi. “He gives people so much pleasure with the way … Continue reading →
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    Love and Knuckles

  • Dear ABC: Mariah Carey Should Be The Next Bachelorette

    Kate
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:53 pm
    Dear Producers of ABC’s The Bachelorette, It has come to my understanding via New York Post that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon will soon be announcing their split. Have you decided what direction you plan on taking the next season of The Bachelorette? I am not saying the show needs a shakeup. I am just saying the show needs a shake up. Why don’t you make Mariah the next Bachelorette? Here is the upside: Immediate surge in ratings. Mariah wears lingerie 24/7. She already enjoys taking pictures of herself in hot tubs. You wouldn’t have to pay a recording artist to sing during a…
  • Real Housewives of Orange County Finale: The Recap

    Kate
    19 Aug 2014 | 1:33 pm
    The most important moments from Real Housewives of Orange County this week. UNITED STATES OF CRAZY The women returned to the United States broken and battered after a grueling teriyaki chicken dinner in Bali. Tamra had promised everyone they’d never see her face again as she diarrhea sprinted out the resort that evening. She booked an earlier flight home so she could get back to her aerobics instructor husband. On the plane home Heather overheard Shannon counseling Vicki. “Tamra is going to call you. You MUST be strong. She doesn’t deserve you. Do you understand me?”…
  • In Honor of Robin: Coping With Suicide

    Kate
    16 Aug 2014 | 11:16 am
    This week I spent a lot of time thinking about Robin Williams, an actor talented beyond measure. We forget that even the funniest people in the world can carry deep pain and sometimes it is too difficult for them to bear. We can only hope he has found peace and that his family will know how much his work meant to people all over the world, myself included. Suicide is a heartbreaking matter. I know this because it touched my own life when I was 17 years old. The summer before my 9th grade I was admitted to a boarding school in Hershey, Pennsylvania for kids from emotionally and financially…
  • How Do You Explain Jersey Belle To A Normal Person?

    Kate
    14 Aug 2014 | 3:38 pm
    For my latest installment of How Do You Explain This Show To A Normal Person I cover Jersey Belle on Bravo. This is how I explained the show to a woman who works the accessories counter at Nordstrom at Fashion Island in Newport Beach. (I was looking at bangle bracelets). JERSEY GIRL Lady: You write about shows? What have you been watching lately? Me: Have you seen Jersey Belle on Bravo? Lady: No. What is it? Me: It’s a show about a New Jersey woman with unreasonably long hair now living in Mountain Brook, Alabama with her husband and three kids and her social group which includes…
  • Blake Lively’s Preserve Needs a New Editorial Director, So How About Me?

    Kate
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:00 pm
    I saw an ad looking for an editorial director for Preserve, Blake Lively’s new lifestyle site. I think I should throw my hat in the ring. It’s clear they need some help. Here’s how I would describe a few of the products under the shop tab of the site. ABITA BEER WHOLE GRAIN MUSTARD Preserve’s Description: As if the German tradition of slathering mustard on cured meats and pretzels wasn’t decadent enough, New Orleans chef Donald Link went and added the taste of Louisiana’s beloved beer, Abita. Chef Link’s whole grain mustard is of the hearty variety, gritty and…
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    The Idle Lord

  • The Fickle Beauty of Cricket {Adapted from “Learning To Lose” Ch 5 Fifty Not Out}.

    Steve
    17 Aug 2014 | 9:52 am
    “Success consists in going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Sir Winston Churchill. As India crumbled again on a sunny Sunday in front of a packed house at the Oval, my thoughts hardly strayed from our own struggles at the Villas having crumbled again too the day before, albeit in front of two […] Continue reading ... The Fickle Beauty of Cricket {Adapted from “Learning To Lose” Ch 5 Fifty Not Out}..
  • Down Memory Lane – {Ch15 Critics’ Corner – The Legend of Dirty Den}.

    Steve
    15 Aug 2014 | 8:07 am
    Cricket clubs across the land perform a hugely valuable service to their communities for a large part of the year by taking otherwise dangerous and unhinged people off the streets, at least for the summer months. We offer them something to do in a secure environment with fencing and often a large gate. At the […] Continue reading ... Down Memory Lane – {Ch15 Critics’ Corner – The Legend of Dirty Den}..
  • Down Memory Lane – “It’s Hard To Be A Saint In The City” {Ch22 Critics’ Corner}.

    Steve
    8 Aug 2014 | 2:36 am
    Cricket is rarely described as a sexy game; even with the introduction of coloured clothing, fireworks, cheerleaders and all the other 20/20 razzmatazz groupies at a club cricket match are about as likely as the proverbial flying pig. I cannot imagine the glamorous England wives were attracted by the love of the sound of leather […] Continue reading ... Down Memory Lane – “It’s Hard To Be A Saint In The City” {Ch22 Critics’ Corner}..
  • Eastbourne Pier Remembered – “A Long Walk Home” – Ch21 Critics’ Corner.

    Steve
    5 Aug 2014 | 3:52 am
    The news that Eastbourne Pier had been all but destroyed by fire brought back memories of some of the best weeks of my life “working” for Barclays Bank. Well let me clarify the term working firstly. Back in those olden and happier times, the bank had a thriving sporting section and as far as cricket […] Continue reading ... Eastbourne Pier Remembered – “A Long Walk Home” – Ch21 Critics’ Corner..
  • Down Memory Lane – The Great Milk Crate Test Matches (Ch2 – Fifty Not Out).

    Steve
    1 Aug 2014 | 2:26 am
    “I tend to think that cricket is the greatest thing that God ever created on earth – certainly greater than sex, although sex isn’t too bad either.” Harold Pinter. As a child growing up in the Seventies, the summer holidays were greeted with relish and anticipation. The smelly and worn school uniform was unceremoniously dumped […] Continue reading ... Down Memory Lane – The Great Milk Crate Test Matches (Ch2 – Fifty Not Out)..
 
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    Barb Best

  • “Smiles To Go” Photo Collection

    Barb Best
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:17 am
    Smiles to Go In honor of World Smile Day coming up on October 3rd, we celebrate Harvey Ball, the graphic artist and creator of (ta-da) THE smiley face. Harvey drew the original smiley face 50 years ago. Pain and misery are out there… but, guess what? You can actually find smiles anywhere! Just for the […] The post “Smiles To Go” Photo Collection appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Send In the Damn Clowns

    Barb Best
    12 Aug 2014 | 5:39 pm
      SEND IN THE CLOWNS… [I]t’s a theater reference meaning “if the show isn’t going well, let’s send in the clowns”; in other words, “let’s do the jokes.” – Stephen Sondheim   When asked about Robin Williams, most say “sweet.”  I LOVE this!   There’s a classic story about the legendary clown Joseph Grimaldi that […] The post Send In the Damn Clowns appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 7 Great Ideas That Will Change the World?

    Barb Best
    7 Aug 2014 | 1:54 pm
      Everyone wants to change the world. Great Ideas that will Change the World (well, maybe just mine or yours ) 1. Move to the beach; adopt casual coastal philosophy toward life (and flooring).   2. Convert the boring automatic dishwasher in the (duh) kitchen to a wine cooler. Cheers!   3. Go vegan.*   […] The post 7 Great Ideas That Will Change the World? appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder

    Barb Best
    2 Aug 2014 | 8:16 am
        Scribbled on an iPhone “Notes” APP near you…   If a stranger tells you, “I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy!” three times in the course of a ten minute conversation in a doctor’s waiting room… take them at their word.  Run for the hills. Overheard at the veterinarian’s office: “Coyotes are cute. I […] The post Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder appeared first on Barb Best.
  • I Feel Your Pain – Technical Support

    Barb Best
    26 Jul 2014 | 1:21 pm
      We hope that your session with Technical Support was helpful. Here is the transcript you requested. Krandeep:  Thank you for contacting Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable. Give me a minute while I access your account. Me: (grumble, grumble) Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Hello Ms. Best. How are you today? Me: In a nutshell… fairly frustrated. […] The post I Feel Your Pain – Technical Support appeared first on Barb Best.
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Ice Bucket Challenge Shuts Down Hollywood

    Amy Vansant
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:35 pm
    Hollywood, CA — Major studios have announced there will be no Christmas movie season this year, and forget the fall TV lineup. All of Hollywood’s talent is booked making ALS Ice Bucket Challenge videos. “I thought it would be easy,” said Gwyneth Paltrow, who pulled out of biopic Sadie, the harrowing tale of a futuristic world where kale has become extinct. “But really, once you drill for ice 50 feet beneath the arctic crust to find some untouched by modern pollution, and then source the perfect Ukamba beer pots carved by African Nguni people to use at the…
  • Hilarious Little Books by Nick Tory – Author Interview

    Amy Vansant
    7 Aug 2014 | 7:35 am
    I recently had the pleasure of stumbling onto two hilarious books by Nick Tory, Johnny 12 Steps and Johnny Vegas. It was a little like finding ten bucks in a pair of jeans you hadn’t worn for a while: totally unexpected and awesome.  I read the first and then quickly bought and read the second – at only 80ish pages each you can tear right through them, which is good, because if they were 600 pages I would have had to sit there and finish them anyway and by the time I looked up my husband and dog would have probably left me. Here’s a clip from the beginning of Johnny 12…
  • Where do you look when you pass people?

    Amy Vansant
    30 Jul 2014 | 4:34 am
    It is one of the age-old unanswerable questions, like “What is the sound of one hand clapping” and “If you ate a plate of pasta and a plate of anti-pasta, would they cancel each other out?” In this situation, I usually loudly blurt something like “Hey! Been shoppin’??” and then try and keep from punching myself in my stupid face for the next few blocks. Where do you look when you’re passing someone on the street? I think I’ve tried everything. Nothing feels quite right. The Polite “Hey” The polite thing to do is to say…
  • New Fiction Genre: The SMFF – Sexy Mystery Funny Fantasy?

    Amy Vansant
    22 Jul 2014 | 7:01 am
    Angeli (Kindle) is 99 cents from July 22-July 28!  Get it now and save $2! I have this thing, like a curse cast upon me by a gypsy with a sick sense of humor. Naturally, my gypsy woman didn’t say “thinner…” which would have been nice. My curse is that everything I do is just a little off. Just enough to screw the easy layup. I could offer a multitude of examples, but then I’d start sobbing and screaming “Why? Why?” and I’m not a pretty crier. My latest curse example is the genre of my book Angeli: The Pirate, the Angel and the…
  • Lunchtime Massacre

    Amy Vansant
    17 Jul 2014 | 6:41 am
    It was the sound of the spoon scraping his bowl that first caught my attention. I was at a coffee shop meeting with a potential client when I heard the bang! bang! scraaaape… bang! of metal against a ceramic. As my client rattled on, I peered over her shoulder and spotted a thin man in his mid-twenties scraping soup from a bowl like a starving Dickensian orphan. While he appeared to be wearing everyday work clothes, the fervor with which he attacked his soup bowl said “I’ve been trapped in a dustbin for a fortnight. Thank you, may I have another?” The…
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    The Good Badger

  • 3 Reasons Why I Love Backpacking (And You Should Too)

    Zach Davis
    29 Jul 2014 | 9:03 am
    Warning: the following post uses the f-word (fuck, not filibuster) 15 times.  If you’re looking for some wholesome reading, you’re fuck out of luck.  Make that 16. Most people in this country don’t backpack, and quite frankly, that’s a good thing.  Backpacking is rewarding in large part because of this fact- it’s where you go to get away from the masses.  Add to this some beautiful scenery and a dash of exercise, and you’ve listed all the reasons why someone might enjoy this combination sport / hobby / lifestyle.  Right? Wrong. The reasons to love…
  • Redefining Pain

    Zach Davis
    30 Jun 2014 | 11:34 am
    A hundred billion neurons.  Ten trillion cells.  One hundred trillion bacteria.  All of this influenced by an immeasurable number of environmental and biological factors. Human beings are complex creatures, aren’t they? If you look through a microscope, perhaps.  If you take a step back, however, human behavior can be summarized in one sentence. We move toward pleasure and away from pain.  In most situations, pain plays a greater role in our motivation.  Burning your hand on a hot coal, walking across broken glass, or getting punched in the face with a baseball bat are all painful…
  • How to Vacation to Europe on the Cheap

    Zach Davis
    26 Jun 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A Western-European vacation is bacon for the soul. Few places on earth provide such a magical combination of history, beauty (in landscapes, architecture, people, and accents), FOOD, and culture without sacrificing any of the first-world luxuries that Americans tend to get itchy without.  The lone downside also happens to be a devastating one: the tornado-like effect it has on bank accounts.  The cost of airfare and lodging alone is the equivalent of 2,000 pounds of avocado, a shark boat, or this ocean garbage super important key.  Think of the possibilities. Many, reasonably albeit…
  • Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now

    Zach Davis
    13 Mar 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now Primer: if you’d prefer a much more intellectual take on why bone broth needs to be in you, check out this Weston A Price article.  This article is a perfect representation of why I (instantly) bowed out from the health blogging game: it’s a crowded space, I don’t do original research, and quite frankly, I consume far too much whiskey to preach an ideal diet (old fashions are my life fuel). That said, 18 months of obsessive research has equipped me with knowledge that has undoubtedly improved the quality of my life.  I’d…
  • I quit…

    Zach Davis
    25 Feb 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Blogging rule #1A: never acknowledge how long it’s been since you’ve last posted. Man has it been a long time since I’ve last posted!  So many things have happened.  Barack Obama was elected as our first black president, dick pics become easier than ever, and the government took a two week siesta. What’s that?  Literally none of that is new?  So, what did we miss? I guess there were some pretty epic boops.  And as it turns out, the NSA is listening to and reading everything we say.  Let’s go with the boops. But, believe it or not, this PSA is not about…
 
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Elderly Man Fights Gardener Who Won’t Cut His Weeds

    Johnny Robish
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:36 pm
    Elderly Man Fights Gardener Who Won’t Cut His Weeds:  An elderly Florida man is facing felony battery charges after he allegedly attacked his gardener who refused to trim the weeds from his flower beds.  That’s no way to weed out the bad gardeners.  Police say the gardener is lucky he’s not pushing up daisies.  You’d think he could have at least sent the gardener some of those flowers to try and patch things up. California High-Speed Rail to Tunnel Under San Gabriel Mountains:  California’s new controversial $67.6 billion high-speed rail project announced plans to send…
  • Human Health on Mars Mission Discussed

    Johnny Robish
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:05 pm
    Human Health on Mars Mission Discussed:  Scientists warn that future astronauts spending time on the surface of Mars may face radiation exposure levels that could increase the risk of DNA damage, cardiac arrhythmia, reduced stability and performance, sensory impairments and demineralization of bone tissue.  Yea, and good luck trying to find a decent specialist to treat any of those conditions when you’re on Mars.   Heidi Klum Stuns in Dress Made of Strings:  Heidi Klum stunned as she arrived at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards in a dress made entirely of tiny strings by “Project…
  • Woman Kicked in Head After Climbing Into Giraffe Enclosure

    Johnny Robish
    17 Aug 2014 | 10:05 pm
    Woman Kicked in Head After Climbing Into Giraffe Enclosure:  A 24-year-old California woman has been fined $686 for harassment of zoo animals after climbing into the giraffe enclosure at the Madison, Wisconsin zoo and getting kicked in the face by a 12-foot-tall giraffe.  The woman told police that she climbed into the exhibit “because she loves giraffes.”  Yea, well I think it’s reasonably safe to assume that the feeling wasn’t mutual.  Kind of makes you wonder, didn’t anyone watch Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom when they were kids?  Or, as John Lennon once…
  • Woman Arrested With 3.7 Pounds of Cocaine in Breast Implants

    Johnny Robish
    16 Aug 2014 | 8:41 pm
    Woman Arrested With 3.7 Pounds of Cocaine in Breast Implants:  A 43-year-old Venezuelan woman has been apprehended at Madrid International Airport with 3.7 pounds of cocaine in her breast implants.  After confronting the woman, police say it became obvious that she had something she desperately wanted to get off her chest.  Legal experts say if this keeps up, it could completely rewrite our definition of the term “drug bust.” S&P Downgrades SeaWorld Credit Rating: Standard and Poor’s has lowered SeaWorld’s credit rating amid all the negative publicity over its treatment of…
  • Woman Tries to Poison Witnesses Who Saw Her Have Sex With Dogs

    Johnny Robish
    15 Aug 2014 | 9:18 pm
      Woman Tries to Poison Witnesses Who Saw Her Have Sex With Dogs:  A woman who has admitted to having sex with her roommates’ two German Shepherds also stands accused of attempting to poison them after they found out about it.  What’s really sad here is that one bad apple like this could give bestiality a bad name.  At first I just assumed it must have been with a wiener dog, of course everyone knows that its German Shepherds who get all the bitches! Doctor Says Sex May Be Better Than Ibuprofen for Headache:  OB-GYN Dr. Lauren Streicher says that sex just might be better than…
 
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    The Laugh Button

  • Laurie Kilmartin is taping a new special ’45 Jokes About My Dead Dad’ October 17-18 in LA

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Aug 2014 | 11:26 am
    Comedian and Conan writer Laurie Kilmartin announced today via Twitter that she will be taping a new comedy special this fall. Entitled ’45 Jokes About My Dead Dad,’ Kilmartin will be taping a unique, short special on October 17th and 18th at the Lyric Theater in Los Angeles. Here’s what she had to say on […] Laurie Kilmartin is taping a new special ’45 Jokes About My Dead Dad’ October 17-18 in LA appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Watch the trailer for Jason Reitman dramedy ‘Men, Women & Children’

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Aug 2014 | 10:49 am
    Jason Reitman, director of Juno and Up in the Air, returns to direct his newest film Men, Women & Children. The dramedy takes a look at the sexual frustrations that young teenagers and adults face in today’s world. The film marks the return of “serious” Adam Sandler, who will play alongside Jennifer Garner (Juno, Alias), […] Watch the trailer for Jason Reitman dramedy ‘Men, Women & Children’ appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Chris Laker “Moments of Greatness” (review)

    Michael Cartwright
    20 Aug 2014 | 7:31 am
    In an interview with Cringe Humor, Chris Laker was asked how he would describe his comedy to someone who’s never seen his act. “I talk about grown-up sh*t,” Laker affirmed. Yes, he totally does. “I’ve made some life choices that maybe not everybody has done.” Yes, he totally has. “I dunno…it’s just me and how […] Chris Laker “Moments of Greatness” (review) appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • David Letterman pays tribute to Robin Williams, his friend of 38 years

    Matt
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:09 pm
    One week after the passing of Robin Williams, David Letterman returned from a week hiatus. During the show, Letterman spent 10 minutes of the show recalling the early stand-up days at The Comedy Store when they first saw the late comedian take the stage declaring, “it was nothing we’ve ever seen before… we were like […] David Letterman pays tribute to Robin Williams, his friend of 38 years appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Check out the complete schedule for FXX’s “Every Simpsons Marathon”

    Olivia Cathcart
    19 Aug 2014 | 2:35 pm
    This Thursday, FXX is launching the biggest marathon of all time. Their “Every Simpsons Marathon” will run for twelve days, playing every episode of The Simpsons from all twenty-five seasons. That’s a little bit much to sit through. You probably have a job, or school, or a bed you have to go too. Well, the […] Check out the complete schedule for FXX’s “Every Simpsons Marathon” appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Carly Bird

  • The Perks of Being a Couch Flower: DoorDash Food Delivery

    Carly Walker
    8 Aug 2014 | 9:28 am
    Lately apps that make an average human sitting on a couch feel like they are living in luxury have been all the rage. With the click of a button you can have your groceries, an Uber, or a random man who has agreed to do your laundry at your door. And for people who live in a jam packed city like me, these new apps focused on instant gratification can be invaluable. It’s almost like we are living in an alternate universe where The Little Red Hen does all the work, drives through LA traffic, deals with the parallel parking and STILL lets you eat all the cornbread at the end of the day.
  • The Best Food in Los Angeles

    Carly Walker
    17 Jul 2014 | 12:48 pm
    My office is really into food. We talk about where we are going to eat lunch starting at 10:00 am. Sometimes while we are still eating breakfast. We do laps around upcoming restaurants under construction in Santa Monica and make predictions of the food before the menu has even been made public. My coworker Ellen was recently highlighted on the Tender Greens blog as their official duchess after she checked in to their Santa Monica location over 100 times. Yes, 100. Multiply that number by a work team of 30 and you will see why TG gives us free cookies and drinks on the house. Here are…
  • Westside Wisdom: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express

    Carly Walker
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:47 am
    I have become one of THEM. One of those bloggers who sold out and writes about products and life hacks. If you think I’ve become trivial, this video from last year is proof that Carly Bird has been this way all along. That said, there are many services, products, and hacks that can make a big difference in your life. This is one of them. Please welcome: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express. Amazon Fresh Amazon Fresh is a grocery delivery service revolutionizing the way white collar first adopters fill their kale holes. The service delivers food right to your door and also gives you…
  • Because Today You Don’t Feel Mormon

    Carly Walker
    1 May 2014 | 11:58 am
    My friend looked at me from across a table with honest, vulnerable eyes as he slowly put together a string of words to tell me that he felt he could no longer be Mormon. “You’re the first friend I have told.” He nervously stammered as he waited in anticipation for my reply. The next few seconds were a blur as I thought about my good friend and others like him. There is so much I wanted to say that I couldn’t express at the moment. So I ran home and wrote this letter to all of the people I love so much who at some point or another have confessed something similar and with heavy hearts…
  • Hey, Let’s Get Out Of Here: Why Experiences Are Better Than Things

    Carly Walker
    24 Apr 2014 | 12:40 pm
    I would like to argue that experiences are better than things. I recently read this article about the idea of Communitas by Bob Horan. Here is my favorite excerpt from the article, but you should probably read the whole thing here. In 1969 an anthropologist named Victor Turner took an existing ritual theory and described something he observed as “Communitas.” You see, there are stages to a ritual. It begins with being separated from the normal, then there’s a transition into another realm of being, and ends with the reincorporation into everyday life. Turner found that when people are…
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    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Heart Of A Gamer

    PBScott
    3 Aug 2014 | 2:16 am
    I have one thing special, that sets me apart, something is different, when it comes to my heart. For if I feel passion, or am gripped By fear, rather than heart beats, it’s vibrations I hear. My life is a mission, to save all the earth, as dangers are plenty, I prove my great worth. […]
  • Pac-Man Pill Muncher Shirt

    PBScott
    20 Jul 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Pac-Man? Yeah I knew him, but I haven’t seen him in years now. Do you know why we called him Pac-Man? He used to eat so many pills, packs of them each day, and one day we took the pills away, so Pac got really angry and started chasing us around the house shouting. “Give […]
  • Pop Evil – Torn To Pieces – Video and Lyrics

    PBScott
    26 Jun 2014 | 11:04 am
    I know you probably all think that I live under a rock or something, but I had never heard of Pop Evil until today when I heard “Torn To Pieces”. I like its mellow beat, catchy tune, and it’s dark mood seems to suit me this morning. I looked it up on YouTube earlier and […]
  • Welcome To The Machine

    PBScott
    19 May 2014 | 8:48 am
    A few days ago I had a very strange experience, maybe not an overly unexpected one, but it was very strange just the same. I had gone to the local shopping mall with my girlfriend to look for a new backpack and get something to eat. After a short while I found one particular bag […]
  • Don’t Touch That Cookie

    PBScott
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:24 pm
    Unfortunately in life, many people who know what is right and wrong, still choose the wrong path. Their selfish actions hurt others around them, and causes unnecessary misery. Their victims, unable to avenge themselves, often take comfort in the belief that somewhere down the line, whether in this life or the next, karma will eventually […]
 
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    The Peanut Butter Table

  • The Bill and Melinda Gates Birth Control Interview

    Eva
    9 Aug 2014 | 8:21 am
    Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:In the early spring of 2014, I had the privilege of meeting the most charitable, creative and technologically brilliant couple on the planet: Bill and Melinda Gates. I knew what I was ready for; a dynamic pair of thinkers that were tinkering with something incredibly big and extraordinary…
  • Bad To The Drone

    Eva
    19 Jul 2014 | 2:58 pm
    Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:A drone took this picture only a stone’s throw from where I live. See the outhouse? Note: St. John’s Bridge in the distance. We live in a glorious modern world. A technological world filled with all kinds of machines flying through the air that can kill and/or deprive…
  • Adam Sendek: Designer and Illustrator

    Eva
    16 Jul 2014 | 5:28 pm
    Oh, yes, my lovelies–things just got a lot weirder around here, haven’t they? Our favorite Chowderhead, Adam Sendek, took the time to illustrate the custom design banner you see at the top there. Adam is one hell of an illustrator. I’m so pleased to have met him through Long Awkward Pause and hope to collaborate […]
  • With Peanut Butter!

    Eva
    7 Jul 2014 | 1:22 pm
    Many, many thanks and gratitude to editors Nicole Cliffe and Mallory Ortberg of The Toast– a very cool blog, Ta-Nehisi Coates of The Atlantic describes as ‘ratchet’, (I think that’s a good thing?) for getting my main line of work and do-goodering, dental hygiene, out there to all patients in the universe. To celebrate, I […]
  • What a Glorious Weekend

    Eva
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:56 am
    Neighborhood crab boil, Crabbies Ginger Beer, family, friends, and mediocre fireworks. I also had to work… at The Nudge Wink Report! And now–swimming! Many thanks for reading, everyone. See you soon!      
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • Heaven Didn’t Wait

    Tammy
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:29 pm
    I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself. I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then […]
  • Should We Grow Old Gracefully?

    Tammy
    15 Jul 2014 | 10:12 pm
    I was recently asked to lecture on the art of growing old gracefully. Boy were they barking up the wrong tree. I accepted the challenge. I figured it was an opportunity to enlighten my audience and get paid for it. Nice work if you can get it. I shared with them the bittersweet truth: there […]
  • The Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves …

    Tammy
    9 Jul 2014 | 10:08 am
    Can take us down in the most unattractive way. Such as: I can’t do better than my best Yes you can. Doing your best is essential, no lie. But you can do more. You can look at the bigger picture. You can do your best at the right time, the right place with the right […]
  • You Want Independence? Come And Get It!

    Tammy
    1 Jul 2014 | 10:50 pm
    This Fourth of July, I am exercising my freedom. Not from the British, my ex-husband or the band of gypsies that would abscond with my womanhood (you’re way too late). I’m going for the gold. I want to claim a life without cat vomit on my desk in the mornings, random dog pee, plants that […]
  • I Wanted To Be The Perfect Mom

    Tammy
    10 Jun 2014 | 7:47 pm
    Wouldn't it be great if our kids remembered every single thing we've ever done for them? Every changed diaper, cleaned up puke, boo-boo kissed. Because if they did, they'd think we were Gods!
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Lego Death Star, comes complete with exhaust port weakness

    Daniel Repasky
    14 Aug 2014 | 3:07 pm
    Looks pretty cool, but I’m not sure what kind of person buys a $500 LEGO set… for their kids… 20 of 21 people found the following review helpful  Missing cover for the exhaust port, 10 Aug 2014 By Golidog Theres a cover missing on the exhaust pipe. It’s probably not important but maybe this could be fixed for the next model. Thanks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink 43 of 52 people found the following review helpful  Flimsy design, March 20, 2014 By Brian Atwood “bratwood” I’m not…
  • A Yodelling Pickle

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Aug 2014 | 6:10 pm
    So well crafted. I’m sure the reviews will reinforce how what a wonderful pickle this is. 1,633 of 1,653 people found the following review helpful  Better Than Bieber, January 15, 2012 By Sadie My twelve year-old niece asked for the Justin Bieber CD for Christmas, so I bought her this yodeling pickle. Nobody so far can tell the difference. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink   1,603 of 1,651 people found the following review helpful  It’s a great portable music solution, April 2, 2010 By Timboliah…
  • Never seen this happen before

    Daniel Repasky
    17 Jul 2014 | 3:45 pm
    Never thought I’d see someone accidentally lose their bike via giant balloon, but I guess someone had to be the first… Never seen this happen before is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • 87 Pound Cheese Wheel Table

    Daniel Repasky
    16 Jul 2014 | 6:10 pm
    If you’re in the market for 87 pounds of cheese, consider making this edible table… 2 of 3 people found the following review helpful i forgot the crackers, April 29, 2013 By wallace This review is from: Academia Barilla Parmigiano Reggiano DOP, 87 Pound Wheel (Misc.) when this cheese arrived i was amazed at the sheer size of it, i couldn’t work out what to do with it, my wife came up with the cracking idea to stick 4 poles into the bottom and use it as a table. I couldn’t wait to show off my table to my best friend he arrived and at first didn’t realize the…
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Twelve!

    Daniel Repasky
    11 Jul 2014 | 3:35 am
    We’re excited to bring you the twelfth installment of our Gif Sound Mashup!   http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup 12! ►GifSounds used: COMING SOON Make your own! – http://GifSound.com no account required This video is covered under Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107 – Fair Use: All visuals and sound are no more than a few seconds in length, parody the original works, are highly transformative, and are not in any way a substitute for the original. All visuals and sound are used under the Fair Use doctrine of…
 
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    Brent Blogs

  • National “Go Fuck Yourself” Day

    Brent Blogs
    10 Aug 2014 | 9:15 am
    I’m sick and tired of seeing National __ Day trending on social media. It seems like every other day I see some sort of insignificant cause getting about as much attention as the crisis in the Middle East or Ukraine. At the time I’m writing this, it’s Sunday, August 10. And according to National Day Calendar, that means it is both National Lazy Day and National S’mores Day. (Source) What even the fuck? And look. There are already tons of half-wits offering their well-wishes on this fine day via Twitter: So today is both #NationalSmoresDay and #NationalLazyDay and…
  • A Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding – Part III

    Brent Blogs
    5 Jul 2014 | 7:08 pm
    As the story goes, Andréa and I first met last year creating YouTube content together. Our finished video collaboration was entitled Kill, bang or marry. Little did we know at the time, less than a year later Andréa would move from Atlanta, GA to Toronto, Canada we would marry. Vlogging isn’t an activity that comes to mind for most newlyweds, but given the humble origins of our relationship, we felt it only reasonable to document our travels together as husband and wife on YouTube. Part III of the Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding trilogy includes our visit to Peggys Cove, NS,…
  • A Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding – Part II

    Brent Blogs
    5 Jul 2014 | 7:06 pm
    As the story goes, Andréa and I first met last year creating YouTube content together. Our finished video collaboration was entitled Kill, bang or marry. Little did we know at the time, less than a year later Andréa would move from Atlanta, GA to Toronto, Canada we would marry. Vlogging isn’t an activity that comes to mind for most newlyweds, but given the humble origins of our relationship, we felt it only reasonable to document our travels together as husband and wife on YouTube. Part II of the Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding trilogy includes our stay in Halifax, NS the…
  • A Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding – Part I

    Brent Blogs
    5 Jul 2014 | 7:05 pm
    As the story goes, Andréa and I first met last year creating YouTube content together. Our finished video collaboration was entitled Kill, bang or marry. Little did we know at the time, less than a year later Andréa would move from Atlanta, GA to Toronto, Canada we would marry. Vlogging isn’t an activity that comes to mind for most newlyweds, but given the humble origins of our relationship, we felt it only reasonable to document our travels together as husband and wife on YouTube. Part I of the Simply Brent & Andréa Blogs Wedding trilogy includes the wedding itself, plus our…
  • My buddy does the Man Shot at the bar

    Brent Blogs
    22 Jun 2014 | 7:17 pm
    To celebrate our upcoming wedding this Wednesday, June 25, Simply Andréa had a spa day with some friends at the Four Seasons yesterday. Later, her and I met up with about 20 of our friends at the Frog and Firkin. …and that’s where my friend Matt did the Man Shot. Not sure what a Man Shot is? Watch this video and see for yourself. [click here to watch the video on YouTube]
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • Hallelujah – How to Eliminate Road Construction

    Greg Mischio
    18 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    I wrote this epiphany from my car. I had been sitting in a traffic jam for two and a half weeks, making infinitesimal progress every 1.5 days. The solution? Creating the world’s first construction-free highway. There’s something fishy about highway construction, isn’t there? Despite almost daily advancements in technology, we’ve yet to develop a solution for the pothole. Even worse, our highway construction crews seem beholden to the long-standing 7:1 supervisor-to-worker-ratio. The result? Traffic logjams like the one I found myself in. I had been mired in the multi-lane logjam for…
  • The Garment the Opposite Sex Can’t Figure Out

    Greg Mischio
    11 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    The epic battle between the sexes has raged since the day Eve borrowed Adam’s rib and didn’t put it back. To help us men conquer the women-people, I’m fighting fire with fire by inventing the garment the opposite sex can’t figure out. Why are men and women at odds? It all boils down to complexity. Men-people like me prefer to keep things simple. I like Belgian beers and sports. Simple. Women-people like introspection, talking about feelings, and discussing their problems. That’s complicated. Complexity frightens me. It frightens all men, and which is why we agree to the most arduous…
  • One Word Can Keep Things Cool with Your Wife

    Greg Mischio
    28 Jul 2014 | 6:00 am
    I have put my foot in mouth so many times that there is a size 9 footprint embossed on my tongue. To overcome my poorly-timed and ill-advised words, I’ve taken a page out of the family dog’s book: I will only say one word. We have a Dachshund named Becker. I’ve been carefully observing my four-legged friend/foe over the years, amazed at how he relieves himself everywhere in our house, racks up thousands in vet bills, yet remains near and dear to our hearts. The most amazing thing? The guy only says one word: “Arf!” Becker, do you want a treat? “Arf!” Becker, lay down! “Arf!”…
  • I’m An Incremental Criminal

    Greg Mischio
    21 Jul 2014 | 6:08 am
    It’s okay to break the law – as long as you don’t go to far. You won’t get a speeding ticket for doing 71 mph in a 65 zone, and with my latest epiphany, you don’t go to jail for leading a life of incremental crime. The benefits of incremental crime became apparent as I drove 71 miles per hour down the highway, in blatant violation of the 65 mph speed limit. I wasn’t alone. Hundreds of other criminals were speeding, all of us streaming by a cop, who brandished his radar gun for the bigger game – the 80 mph guy. I’m not sure when it became okay to take a clearly-posted…
  • Men Now Traveling to the Bathroom in Pairs

    Greg Mischio
    14 Jul 2014 | 6:01 am
    Why do women travel to the bathroom in pairs? My latest epiphany revealed the secret, one so terrifying that I wished I’d never questioned women’s dreaded double-trip to the can. It was a familiar scene at the restaurant. My wife and her friend had just excused themselves to go to the bathroom, leaving me and faithful sidekick Burt alone at the table. “Burt, can I ask you a personal question?” I began. “Sure.” “Why do women travel to the bathroom in pairs?” He took a deep breath, scratched his armpit, and shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea.” “I don’t either,” I…
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    I Think Myself Happy

  • Family Traditions

    Mike McCarty
    2 Aug 2014 | 5:29 am
    How many of you have family traditions?  Maybe a favorite vacation spot.  Or hiking together.  Playing board games on Friday nights. When I was a kid, we had family reunions every summer.  Both sides of the family. We would get together and I would point at three quarters of the people and ask who they were. And even though family reunions felt like a prison sentence, especially when every other year we had to travel to out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere Kentucky for my mom's side of the family, I have learned to appreciate them as an adult.  Most likely because nobody…
  • What I Know About Groupies

    Mike McCarty
    12 Jun 2014 | 5:56 pm
    I have to admit as a boy my life was focused on developing groupies.  Keep reading, life is about failing miserably many times before finding your niche.  Turns out groupie coaching was not my calling.  But I tried. I launched my first rock band- Rapid Fire- at 12 with my neighbor.  We focused on all of the great music at the time- Kiss, Def Leppard, REO, Journey and the Eagles.  But we could never draw much of a crowd.  Admittedly, hand-made advertising nailed to telephone poles around town is not the most effective way of getting the word out.  But…
  • Learning to Fail

    Mike McCarty
    14 May 2014 | 7:01 pm
    I hope you are not one of those parents that has a "My Child was...." bumper sticker on the back of your vehicle.  If you are, grab a razor and go scrape it off. No way, unless one of my kids is elected president, would I have a bumper sticker espousing their accomplishments in elementary school or junior high.  Sorry. I am also not one of those guys that would have a bumper sticker that said, "my child beat up your honor student."  I might laugh but I am at least one generation removed from being that redneck. I'm proud when my kids do well, don't get me wrong.  I…
  • Up to My Neck in Murder....

    Mike McCarty
    26 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Say what?  Seriously.  I have been consumed with murder lately.  I know that is alarming.  I'm a little hesitant to even admit this.  Then I realized nobody reads my blog so I am probably safe. I haven't killed anyone.  I haven't even thought about killing anyone.  I just wanted to set the record straight after my last article provided a play by play on our 18 hour drive to Florida with five kids. I'm not a violent crime detective any longer so it has nothing to do with solving the big case.  Actually, I wrote a book ten years ago.  I know…
  • I am not Job

    Mike McCarty
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:13 pm
    I am at a point in my life that I can admit my shortcomings a bit easier than I could have twenty years ago.  I don't think it really has anything to do with me. I think it is just a maturing thing.  I know, that is a nice way of saying that I am getting older so I care less about what people think of me.  My kids think I have gone all Walmart.  You know what I am talking about if you have ever been there on a Saturday morning and witnessed a horde of people shopping in pajamas.  It's the same principle my wife explained to me when I made a comment about…
 
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    cestlavie22

  • Lemony Chicken with Spinach

    cestlavie22
    18 Aug 2014 | 10:33 am
    The one thing I generally do not do when it comes to cook is try to make up my own recipe. This would be the exception. I had pretty much a whole bag of spinach, left-over chicken (from a buy one get one free sale) and pasta. I knew that somehow this combination needed to be a meal. I looked through Google and Pinterest but could not find a recipe that would not require that I go out and get additional ingredients. Having to do this would defeat the purpose of using the leftovers to make a meal. So I decided to make something up. Here is what I came up with: Lemony Chicken with Spinach: What…
  • Ain’t Never Had a Friend Like You!

    cestlavie22
    15 Aug 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Now I realize that many people are posting about the shocking passing of Robin Williams. I am sorry to say that I am going to be another one of those people. Mostly because I am really disgusted by all the negativity I have seen regarding it and I feel the need to share my thoughts in order to hopefully convert at least one negative nancy and make them see why we are all devastated over the loss of this comic genius. As a kid growing up, Disney was of course my movie of choice. Aladdin was a movie I probably watched 5,000 times over. The Genie was absolutely one of the best characters. Ever…
  • Chicken Caesar Wraps!

    cestlavie22
    11 Aug 2014 | 10:55 am
    One thing I love when it comes to dinner is quick and easy! When I was introduced to these wraps I was super excited because the total time it takes to make them is literally like ten minutes! And what’s even better? The boy could help! So without further adieu here is the recipe: What you need: Wraps (I used regular white wraps- but whatever you like works) Pre-cooked chicken strips Caesar Salad pack (comes with salad, dressing and croutons) Worcestershire Sauce Salt Pepper Garlic Preparation: Place chicken in pan with a little Worcestershire Sauce, salt, pepper and garlic. Two to…
  • Doc Brown and Uncle Fester just might be the same person (at least the same actor)!

    cestlavie22
    8 Aug 2014 | 5:15 am
    So the other day I was flipping through channels and I came across the Adams Family. There will never come a day when I am not in the mood to watch the Adams Family. As a kid I wanted to be just like Wednesday. I realize she is an odd role model choice, but needless to say I was an odd kid. Anyways while watching the movie I realized many of the actors have gone on to be characters in other movies that I love and I just never noticed. The one that stood out the most to me was Uncle Fester. The eyes looked oh so familiar but I couldn’t place how I knew him. So I whipped out my computer…
  • Grimm Date Night

    cestlavie22
    4 Aug 2014 | 11:51 am
    You know the one thing about Date nights is coming up with ideas! I always want to do something to make the man smile but sometimes my creativity is lacking. This time around I knew I wanted to do something that would allow me to buy him season 2 of Grimm. His obession with this show is entirely my fault as I bought him season 1 but his pestering about getting it is all on him. Regardless I knew he would really enjoy getting it so I decided to make a date night around it. Here was the problem. What exactly can two people do when the theme is morbid fairy tales? Well I actually came up with…
 
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    Workplace Monsters

  • Follow your dreams!

    ScotchJameson
    27 Jul 2014 | 11:33 pm
    The post Follow your dreams! appeared first on Workplace Monsters.
  • The Heartburn Dialogues

    ScotchJameson
    12 Jul 2014 | 2:12 pm
    The post The Heartburn Dialogues appeared first on Workplace Monsters.
  • New Employee Orientation

    ScotchJameson
    5 Jul 2014 | 3:02 pm
    The post New Employee Orientation appeared first on Workplace Monsters.
  • Know your audience!

    ScotchJameson
    29 Jun 2014 | 10:33 pm
    The post Know your audience! appeared first on Workplace Monsters.
  • Bully’s Replacement

    ScotchJameson
    26 Jun 2014 | 8:43 pm
    The post Bully’s Replacement appeared first on Workplace Monsters.
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    Cerp CerkCerp Cerk » Category » Autocompletes

  • Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl

    admin
    14 Aug 2014 | 6:12 am
    “I wanna be that girl, when she falls in love it’s like a big deal and a rare thing.” “Until then, I will date everyone I find. Oh, and if you upset me in any way shape or form, expect a song dedicated to how it was entirely your fault and not mine whatsoever. That is all!” And thank god for that. Before a Google search, we thought that Taylor Swift was dating the Finnish metal band. The post Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • What If One Day You Wake Up And You Were A Chicken Nugget?

    admin
    13 Jun 2014 | 3:21 am
    It would totally suck to one day wake up and find out you were a chicken nugget. But then again, if you were a McDonald’s chicken nugget, it would be a totally different story – everyone loves those bitches. Mmmm, smothered in BBQ sauce and Ketchup. And seeing as we’re now in McDonald’s, it would be rude not to purchase a Big Mac. Nom, nom, nom! Does it still work? Yeah, this was found on 07/11/2013. Just type “what if one day“. Why were people searching it? The only mention of this online we could find was on a Tumblr blog where someone drew a man as a…
  • This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight

    admin
    19 May 2014 | 4:34 am
    Song that goes ah ah eh eh eh Song that goes eh eh eh Song that goes oh uh oh Song that goes la la la la Song that goes dum dum dum dum Come on, guys, together we can solve these autocompletes ourselves! Does anyone know the song that goes “dum dum dum dum”? How about the song that goes “eh eh eh?” As the Tumblr user stated, while some of us are out conquering space flight, some of us are Googling song noises to try and find songs. The post This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • Can I Vacuum My Dog?

    admin
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:59 am
    …and we think it’s safe to say that pets should come with instruction manuals! If you’re asking if it’s safe to vacuum your pet, then please save your pet from future harm by calling the RSPCA on yourself. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “can I v” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? By the looks of it many of you have fetishes for vacuuming dogs. As it turns out the internet has spoken and said it’s fine to hoover the dog. Here’s one person’s response: It won’t hurt him, but it may bother…
  • Your Mother Was A Hamster

    admin
    7 Apr 2014 | 4:41 pm
    How dare you say our mother was a hamster… she still is! It’s not our fault our dad fell in love with a hamster. As you know, when you’re in love, it’s not long until baby making happens. We are a result of that and not one day passes where we are ashamed of her and what she is. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “your mother” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? Have you seen a little movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)? Well this autocomplete is down to a quote of that film: “Your…
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    Grahame GDG

  • First Date Advice For Men

    grahameg
    15 Aug 2014 | 12:36 pm
    In this First Date Advice For Men video I throw a bit of quantum advice at some guy who didn’t even ask for it. I like to do good deeds for my fellow man like randomly taking the urine out of their woes in a public arena for the world to join me in a round of laughter at their putrid, festering misery. Either that or I just don’t want anyone else to make the same mistakes as this guy, yeah let’s go with that one. I hope you find this tale of heartbreak and sorrow as entertaining as I did when I read it. Typing this crap does my head in does anyone even read it? If you are…
  • Girlfriend Can’t Orgasm

    grahameg
    15 Aug 2014 | 12:33 pm
    Pretty much what it says on the tin, this blokes girlfriend can’t orgasm. Now he didn’t ask me to answer this, thats the beauty of it. It means I can take the piss without having to feel bad about him hearing it because he’s just some random dude on-line somewhere who will probably never see this. Having said that if the theory of there being a multiple universe where every possible scenario ever is played out then in one of them, every time I make one of these, the person who wrote this will see it. I mean I think we’re in the one where Luis Suarez gets away with…
  • Things Women Do That Men Hate

    grahameg
    1 Aug 2014 | 5:14 pm
    I thought I would be the perfect person to do a Things Women Do That Men Hate video seeing as I’m a man who hates things that women do. Not all things, I’m not of the homosexual persuasion if that’s what you’re thinking. I just don’t understand some thing that go through ladies brains sometimes. Now my opinion on this may be tainted by the fact that in the past I have had a few girlfriends that could probably be classed as clinically insane. That being said I have friends who have had similar issues and from an outsiders point of view, they’re pretty much…
  • How To Break The Ice

    grahameg
    1 Aug 2014 | 5:14 pm
    The post How To Break The Ice appeared first on Grahame GDG.
  • How To Use A Tampon

    grahameg
    1 Aug 2014 | 5:13 pm
    The post How To Use A Tampon appeared first on Grahame GDG.
 
 
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    Do You Remember

  • Top 20 Actors of the ’80s

    Eric Newill
    20 Aug 2014 | 7:18 am
    The ’80s began in a bid to regain America’s sense of pride and patriotism, and ended in the demise of the Cold War. This Reaganesque optimism extended to Hollywood (naturally, considering the Commander-in-Chief’s provenance), where action heroes took on Ruskies and Nazis and men with a purpose exposed corruption in high places. But if greed was good, so was glamour, and ’80s ladies swooned to romantic charmers in witty tales of champagne, skyscraper views and big-shouldered gowns. Sometimes the comedy was more robust, with wacky scientists busting ghosts along Central Park West;…
  • It Happened Today – August 20

    Do You Remember
    20 Aug 2014 | 3:00 am
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today – August 20 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • The Amazing Story of Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant

    Francisca Matos
    20 Aug 2014 | 3:00 am
    “I gotta roll, can’t stand still, got a flamin’ heart, can’t get my fill….” These “Black Dog” lyrics capture the astonishing life of Led Zeppelin’s front man, Robert Plant. His golden mane, shirtless chest and tight, low-slung jeans became his signature as he writhed on the world stage, unleashing his “unearthly howl.” Rolling Stone magazine called him “a bluesman crossed with a Viking deity. Singing like a girl never seemed so masculine, and countless hard-rock singers would shred their vocal cords reaching for the notes Plant gained by birthright.” He may…
  • Kids With Big Dreams in Their Eyes, Part 2

    Glenn Albin
    19 Aug 2014 | 9:43 am
    Certain people are born stars. And much to the annoyance of others, they have an in vitro ability to gather crowds. Others are late bloomers, barely surviving adolescent isolation; they assess their human wreckage and successfully repackage themselves. In this part two of a series, DoYouRemember revisits the irresistible pleasure in analyzing childhood photos, searching for clues that unlock fame’s secret formula. In America, anyone can be a star. You don’t have to start with money. You don’t need looks. You don’t even necessarily have to have talent. You do have to have drive,…
  • The Lost Beauty of Vinyl

    Serge Stevens
    19 Aug 2014 | 7:52 am
    Some people collect baseball cards. Others collect wives. There’s a guy in Brazil by the name of Zero Freitas who collects vinyl record albums. According to The New York Times, Freitas is hoping to acquire a copy of every record album ever produced. Containers arrive daily to his warehouse, dropping off tens of thousands at once. Since so many of these albums will never make it to a CD or other digital format, he’d hate to see them gone forever. Like most kids who went to college in the ’60s and ’70s, I was something of a record-album collector myself. Before we had digital, before we…
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    Week Cartoons

  • Sharing Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    18 Aug 2014 | 11:54 pm
    People are sharing their food to instagram a lot, apparently. Here’s some perspective on the practice.   The post Sharing Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Mescaline Flower Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    23 Jul 2014 | 12:56 pm
    The post Mescaline Flower Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Shy Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    18 Jul 2014 | 3:14 pm
    This is actually a cartoon about being shy. Best to keep some of those more curious revelations in the shell. Don’t screw around with liberty, man.   The post Shy Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Orange Toothpaste Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    7 Jul 2014 | 8:08 am
    The post Orange Toothpaste Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • The World According to Baseball Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    30 Jun 2014 | 9:17 am
    The world according to baseball cartoon. The World Series is a big misnomer. Ask the World Cup about it.   The post The World According to Baseball Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
 
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    WorthAShare.com

  • Little Known Facts About The Late Robin Williams

    Jade Waddy
    12 Aug 2014 | 4:14 am
    Today the world mourns over the loss of comedian and renowned actor, Robin Williams. We’ve all seen him in films such as Mrs Doubtfire, Jumaji, Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society; but very little is actually known about the man himself. He liked to keep his personal life pretty locked away and although it may seem in his stand up days he revealed all, there are some pieces of information that never quite reached the surface. Here are just a handful.He Was An Avid Cyclist – It’s true, for several years Robin has been getting on his bike and riding alongside well known…
  • I’m All About The Pretties | Talented Book Illustrators That Won Our Hearts

    Amber Waddy
    6 Aug 2014 | 2:48 am
    Books are like marmite. You either love them with all your heart, hate them with all your might, or you’re just completely indifferent. The one thing we can all appreciate, however, is the beautiful artwork that adorns the pages of many beloved classics as well as modern tales…Here we take a look at some of the worlds most remarkable illustrators and find out a little more about what they are all about… Ernest, also known as E.H.Shepard, was a World War I veteran born in the late 1870′s. Art was always a key part of his upbringing, going from art school to art…
  • Now THAT’S My Kind Of Art! | Impressive Chocolate Sculptures

    Amber Waddy
    18 Jul 2014 | 7:52 am
    In ten days time many of us will be, or should be, celebrating National Milk Chocolate Day. Chocolate is a very tasty and appealing thing, and for a number of professional chocolatiers it’s both a career as well as a regular delight.To celebrate milk chocolate as well as it’s fellow comrades in all their divine glory, we’ve complied a post full of some of the most inspiring and intricate designs known the world over… Source: Array
  • 16 Ridiculously Photogenic Photographs

    Jade Waddy
    11 Jul 2014 | 8:12 am
    We’ve all seen the seriously/ridiculously photogenic memes, right? Seruiously photogenic guy, followed by ridiculously photogenic horse and photogenic baby. They all have earned their place on the internet, but there are more of them. Some animals and people are so photogenic that they don’t even exist in the real world, but rather on a photogenic planet called Photon. Here are 16 pictures to make you ridiculously jealous. Source: Array
  • There are no words… | Wordless Wednesday

    Jade Waddy
    25 Jun 2014 | 8:56 am
    On this fine day of the week, you’ll usually see pictures of stunning views or adorable animals. This Wednesday however you’ll be looking at a selection of weird and wonderful photographs that will leave you rendered speechless, and not totally for the better.  Source: Array
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    David Beckham Comics - Home

  • Chesty Chick Chases Churlish Cheeseburger

    20 Aug 2014 | 12:35 pm
    Double-Cheezus wrecks havoc while Blaze watches. Can nothing stop this churlish cheeseburger or will chesty chick Blaze blast this beastly burger to fast food hell? Find out in "Double-Cheezus, the Burgerlar V" Access-Denied!
  • the truth shurts too

    17 Aug 2014 | 2:26 pm
    The truth shurts too! Three Men show what makes them beautiful!
  • Starting Wednesday, the 20th of August

    16 Aug 2014 | 2:39 pm
    This coming wednesday Double Cheezus wrecks havoc while Blaze stands idly by, then on thursday  a Gun-Fu sports secret of success is shunned for steroid-free competition, Can this go good? Find out on thursday! On Friday Delilah gets a new kebap-heavenly body and topping off the week, the Bearr ventures into no country for old or young Bearrs! Read it all this coming week at DBC!
  • The Truth Shurts

    16 Aug 2014 | 1:55 pm
    The truth shurts! Thats what this sexual-dude finds out when heaps of extremely attractive women gravitate to... find out what women gravitate to on the "Truth Shurts" page!But be warned! this page is also a shameless ad for expensive exclusive dbc Tees!
  • Thugs Threaten Woman 

    15 Aug 2014 | 3:04 pm
    While Angelo Devill investigates his own murder a woman with a dark secret is threatened by vicious thugs!
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    Above Average

  • Above Average I.Q. – Good Cop Great Cop

    Above Average
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:26 pm
    Good Cop Great Cop is Matt Porter and Charlie Hankin.  Photo Credit: Sasha Arutyunova How did you guys meet?  We were randomly assigned freshman year roommates at NYU. We quickly realized we shared many of the same comedic influences, from Monty Python to the Coen Brothers to Stella, and we began shooting sketches together. It wasn’t until years after graduating from college that we began to make videos regularly and release them as Good Cop Great Cop. How did you come up with your name? We made a big list of potential names, and after a little deliberation, we settled on “Good…
  • 10 Things You Won’t Believe about Taylor Swift’s Pop Transformation

    Geoff Garlock
    20 Aug 2014 | 9:52 am
    Geoff Garlock is a grown adult man who knows a LOT about heavy metal, but NOTHING about pop culture. 1. Wait she wasn’t a pop star already? 2. This is the singer Taylor Swift right? Do I not know who she is? Blonde? Squinty-eyed? Real annoying? Real famous pop star already? That’s her right? I mean I can picture her, but I don’t know if I know anything about her. Certainly not any of her songs. But I always thought they were pop songs. 3. Wait I got it… I know a song by her! I can’t believe it! That song “Since U Been Gone” right? With that riff that sounds like that Yeah Yeah…
  • Jimmy Fallon vs. Pierce Brosnan

    Above Average
    20 Aug 2014 | 9:10 am
    Fallon and James Bond himself battle each other for the N64 GoldenEye 007 championship. If nothing else, let this be a lesson that hours spent playing video games will someday, somehow pay off.
  • Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul make a great pawn shop team

    Above Average
    19 Aug 2014 | 2:04 pm
    In preparation for next week’s Emmy Awards, check out this short from Paulilu starring Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul as an entrepreneurial pawn shop duo. Unfortunately for Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the market for Emmy statues just isn’t what it used to be. Watch what happens, and long live Breaking Bad:
  • Pour one out for the normal girls

    Above Average
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:48 am
    In a bid for the song of the summer, UCB Comedy has a brand new music video in praise of normal girls. Dedicated to everyone who eats gluten:  
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • At Least It Can’t Get Any Worse

    Dustin
    20 Aug 2014 | 4:16 am
    Every year, Deserae and I try to take a short out-of-town trip to celebrate our anniversary. Two years ago, I planned the best one ever: a weekend at an awesome cabin in Hocking Hills. There would be sweet hikes, hot dogs over the fire, millions of stars, rock climbing – it was going to be the best. The weekend finally arrived, and after Deserae finished packing with five jackets (tomorrow night is supposed to be kind of cool), enough marshmallows to insulate our cabin (you like s’mores, right?) and everything else we own (just in case!), we were off. I was so pumped that I was even able…
  • This Is Summer in Florida

    Dustin
    15 Aug 2014 | 4:56 am
    After an unannounced summer hiatus, Florida Friday is back! You may have wondered what kind of Florida high jinks you’ve been missing all summer. Well, there was plenty of theft, alcohol and nudity (stories like “Naked Men Caught on Camera Stealing Bacon” cover all the bases nicely). Marijuana played a large role (or roll). But for the best picture of Florida life in June, July and August, we turn to the Bradenton Herald, which brought us this headline from the Bayshore Windmill Village trailer park: Bradenton Woman Charged with Battery after Chucking Bowl of Ramen Noodles, Fork at…
  • Meet a Real, Live Genius

    Dustin
    13 Aug 2014 | 8:30 am
    The Life Lessonbook is not usually an angry site. I do not write controversial things about politics or social issues or child discipline. Today, this is an angry site. That’s because last week, I met a genius. It all started about a month ago when my iPhone began randomly heating up to a million degrees and burning through half the battery in 20 minutes. I was a little alarmed the first time my phone turned into a small fireball inside my pocket, but because I am kind of a lazy person, I didn’t do anything about it. After it happened a few times, I tried resetting it, restoring it and…
  • How to Tell Off a Telemarketer

    Dustin
    6 Aug 2014 | 4:43 am
    I worked all four years of college as a telemarketer. This isn’t a fact I’m particularly proud of, and I’m still a little nervous that I’ll someday have to answer to a LOT of people who ended up with the New York Times despite not actually wanting it. Most people who work telemarketing hate it (if you can imagine). The average lifespan of a telemarketer is probably about a month and very few people ever make money at it. I was one of the few. There were weeks that my hourly wage with commission was two or three times what I’m making now, SIX YEARS after college. I was good because I…
  • Transformations

    Dustin
    3 Aug 2014 | 5:18 am
    This isn’t a normal blog post, but I wrote a few scripts that were performed at my church’s Great Lakes Youth Conference last week, and I thought I’d share them in case you weren’t able to make all the sessions. This year’s theme was “transformations,” so these are monologues for Bible characters who experienced radical transformations. Enjoy! Rahab Joshua 2. Performed by Meg Kelly. You should have seen who I was before. I wasn’t a person. I was a product. I wasn’t a woman. I was a harlot. I wasn’t Rahab. I was the Woman in the Wall. For years,…
 
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    Humor IQ

  • MOA: How to overcome Problems like a Boss

    Al Ngullie
    20 Aug 2014 | 5:00 am
    Are you Like a Boss or are you one of those lilly-bellied losers? You can become a man of action today - like a boss!Continue reading →
  • Nagaland Memes: How to Stupid Like A Boss

    Al Ngullie
    2 Jun 2014 | 3:53 am
    Memes are a fairly-recent trend among Naga youths, but the visual parodies seem perfectly at home: Nagas are a hoary horde, with much to contribute to the LoL Industry. Nagaland is a joke itself, There is a huge 'market' for funny Nagaland memes. If you have basic Photoshop editing skills, go sell your joke, dude. Continue reading →
  • Why Dummies from Funny Nagaland are Cool

    Al Ngullie
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:42 pm
    There is a reason why Satire is incredibly popular in Nagaland. What is it exactly, though? Is it the decades-old political conflict, and the subsequent negligence suffered by the Naga institution that bred cynicism? In any case, Satire is a dependable refuge the people of Nagaland take to, heartily. No wonder humor-based writing is popularContinue reading →
  • 10 Facebook behaviors that ought to be declared illegal

    Al Ngullie
    8 Oct 2013 | 9:39 am
    What are your Facebook pet peeves? Is it that girl who just can't shut up? That irritating feminist meme? That dude who just can't stop posing? The Parliament could be the hope for us decent Facebook citizensContinue reading →
  • Typical Student Emotions: Find your Terror here

    Al Ngullie
    4 Oct 2013 | 2:49 am
    Education is fun – minus the books. Why? Schools and Colleges come with too much of terrors for Typical Students' Emotions to handle. Did you have a terror of your own? Find them hereContinue reading →
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    Hipblow

  • Patrick Brown’s Art: Video Games Meet Comic Books

    HipBlow
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:30 am
    Patrick Brown is an Australian artist who started drawing at the early age of 5. Brown's artistic style has been greatly inspired by video games - as you can see in the following collection...The post Patrick Brown’s Art: Video Games Meet Comic Books appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Modern Video Games Reinvented As PlayStation One relics

    HipBlow
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    If you give it a bit of thought, today video games' graphics were just crazy talk back in the day. You couldn't imagine better graphics for Super Mario 64 when you were a kid or could you?...The post Modern Video Games Reinvented As PlayStation One relics appeared first on Hipblow.
  • The Science Of Depression

    HipBlow
    20 Aug 2014 | 5:30 am
    What exactly is going on inside of a depressed person? In this video of ASAP Science, you can look at the scientific basis for depression, and shed light on the fact that it is a disease with biological, psychological, and social implications...The post The Science Of Depression appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Marco D’Alfonso’s Art: Comic Books Meet Pop Culture

    HipBlow
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:30 am
    Marco D'Alfonso was born sometime during the 80's and he's been drawing pretty much ever since. The illustrator has found inspiration in animation, comics and contemporary art...The post Marco D’Alfonso’s Art: Comic Books Meet Pop Culture appeared first on Hipblow.
  • 16 Weird Animals That Will Give You Nightmares

    HipBlow
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    Mother Nature has a wide plethora of animal species that are unknown to many of us, even today. These weird animals are really unique (and creepy), and can be rather surprising. However it is sad that mostly of these species are facing the risk of going extinct in the next years...The post 16 Weird Animals That Will Give You Nightmares appeared first on Hipblow.
 
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • Went for a Walk

    Electron.John
    7 Aug 2014 | 5:27 pm
    Today I decided to go for a walk. I then left my domicile, chose a direction and starting walking. After a number of minutes I became bored of this activity, so I stopped, turned around and returned home at approximately the same pace.
  • Affiliate marketing and voucher codes

    sitherdux
    5 Aug 2014 | 9:04 pm
    Affiliate marketing can be a great way to increase web traffic, by teaming up with affiliates, brands can cast a wider net and see a lot of success. When it comes to affiliate marketing, there is more than just one way to do it. Two of the most common are content marketing and voucher codes. Proponents of the former tend to be fairly critical about the latter. But are voucher codes really as bad as some make it out to be. Here's a look at some arguments for and against them. Lack of content Arguably the most common type of affiliate marketing involves a fair bit of content marketing,…
  • Old Axacan

    Atehequa
    30 Jul 2014 | 2:37 pm
    Patches of rotting bark still clinging It's leaves and smaller branches now humus An upturned tangle of decaying roots exposed Wild grape and other creepers adorning boughs Laying here with numerous other long toppled trees Casualties of the many storms battering this land While sitting at rest upon one of these fallen giants I briefly wonder what past savage tempest fell it All the while mindful of my shadowy surroundings Seeing no humans or hearing their sounds This does not necessarily mean that I am alone A cylindrical wood borer peers out from it's hole High in a nearby beech squirrels…
  • Where Does the Moon Go?

    CeramicCornflake
    30 Jul 2014 | 11:57 am
    Here's the text portion of my upcoming children's book" Where Does the Moon Go?" Once it's illustrated, I'll share some of that here. I have someone working on it now. Exciting stuff! Opening Stanza: The moon is full now but it’s not always so It’s whittled away, getting smaller each day Where does the moon go? Body Stanzas: Could the Earth have a thin paper moon? Did a kid with some scissors cut it down to a sliver? Thin and bright like the side of a spoon? Is it eaten up by a great big worm? Does a bird fly up and sharpen her beak every day of the week? Until half is left then…
  • "I Never Knew..."

    BlueAngel
    22 Jul 2014 | 11:54 am
    "I NEVER KNEW..." _________________ I was a teenage boy who would come home from school and hang out at my neighbors' trailer. The mom was a Christian who always had a bible near by to read when she had the time. The dad would be at work. And they had three kids who were too young to go to school yet. Two girls, and the youngest being a boy who was still in diapers. The mom and kids would go to church. Sometimes the mom would work too. After school I would go hang out with the father while the mom was at work, or church, or where ever she went. He sat on the porch next to me with…
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    Dubious Knowledge Institute

  • Labor Day: Keeping You Safe From Seersucker Since 1884

    dvanoss
    19 Aug 2014 | 2:51 pm
    Labor Day is traditionally celebrated prior to the first Tuesday in September, which is usually a Monday, unless there’s a labor strike. Its history, like many holidays, is complex and open to interpretation, which most Americans don’t care about as long as they get Monday off and the malls are open. History “Let us have a festive day during which a parade through the streets of the city would permit public tribute to American Industry. Then on to Sears where there are great Labor Day deals on buggy whips!” So (somewhat) said Matthew Maguire, the secretary of the…
  • Understanding International Sports

    dvanoss
    11 Aug 2014 | 7:53 pm
    If you’ve ever visited a foreign country, you’ve probably wondered why airlines use such terrible food to get you there. In addition, you may also have to encounter a sporting event with which you are unfamiliar, but which the locals seem to love with all their hearts, to the degree that they will beat each other with vuvuzelas to prove it. But you need not feel like a total tourist-infected rube if you let us help you understand how to relate to the world of International Sports. The American view. Your first challenge, if you are an American, is that sports in other countries…
  • All About Mozart (Part 3: Figaro Has A Giant Schnoz)

    dvanoss
    4 Aug 2014 | 1:20 pm
    1785 saw the beginning of one of Mozart’s more prolific periods. During this time he composed the one act opera Der Schauspieldirektor, a tribute to director Steven Spielberg, after which came a string of his most famous operatic works, including Le nozze di Figaro (“Figaro Has A Giant Schnoz”), and Don Giovanni, based on the life of Miami Vice actor Don Johnson. Mozart found a part-time job in 1787, when he went to work for Emperor Joseph II (named after his father, Joseph I, except with another “I” added) as his chamber composer, which paid just 800…
  • Mirthsome Natality-Junction With Self-Awareness Through Parturition To You!

    dvanoss
    22 Jul 2014 | 7:15 am
    “Happy Birthday To You”, also known as “Happy Birthday”, also known as “I Hear There’s Free Cake in the Break Room”, is the most recognized song in the English language, followed closely by the theme from “The Rockford Files”. It has been translated into 18 languages, including dog, and was composed by sisters Patty and Mildred Hill in 1893, who conceived it originally as “Good Morning to All” for their kindergarten students (“Good morning to all, good morning to all, sit down and be quiet, or you’ll spend a…
  • The Grassed and the Furious: 5 Dubious Lawn Tips

    dvanoss
    16 Jul 2014 | 2:44 pm
    It’s summer, which means it’s time to look at your sad, weedified, dead-patchy lawn and mentally kick yourself for not taking care of it in the spring when you were supposed to, but you were too busy fixing the snowblower which you put off in February because you were still getting your Christmas decorations off the roof which you put off in January, which, etc. But it’s never too late to get ready for next year, until next year is here, of course, so let’s take a look at 5 ways you can improve your lawn’s chances of making you look like a competent homeowner…
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • Foo Fighters Ice Bucket

    ponyboy
    20 Aug 2014 | 2:00 pm
    I’m not a big fan of the Foo Fighters and I’m honestly getting tired of seeing this Ice Bucket Challenge, even though it’s for a good cause.  I am a fan of Dave Grohl though, growing up I was Nirvana’s number 1 fan and truly believe Grohl is the savoir of rock’n roll.  He’s a legend.  Check out the Foos Ice Bucket Challenge, this is how it’s done.  So if you’re thinking of dumping ice water over your head you better start getting creative. The post Foo Fighters Ice Bucket appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Nature is Beauty

    ponyboy
    20 Aug 2014 | 11:00 am
    I wanted to put together a gallery of beautiful things in this world that were created for us all to enjoy. From lush tropical landscapes, to goliath redwoods. From cascading waterfalls to thick fat asses. Nature is a thing of beauty. via The post Nature is Beauty appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • I Like These (38)

    ponyboy
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:30 am
    Can’t believe it’s already Wednesday. Let’s go… The post I Like These (38) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • George

    ponyboy
    19 Aug 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Check out this dramatic trailer for the fake movie titled “George” starring George Costanza from Seinfeld. The post George appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Celebrity Transformation

    ponyboy
    19 Aug 2014 | 12:00 pm
    I posted the Brad Pitt pic in an I Like These gallery a few days ago but recently came across a bunch more that I thought were worth sharing, check’em out. The post Celebrity Transformation appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
 
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

    Winston Chong
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:38 pm
    1. Porn: there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.  2. Personal porn: you can have a ball of a time elsewhere ogling at female bloggers slash model slash actress slash race queen providing revealing selfies. No need for this nerd to pimp himself.3. Food porn: I don't own a DSLR nor do I get to eat for free. iEat, iBurp, iShit. 4. Word porn: I find scolding jerks using vulgarities or genitalia a lazy cop-out. There are far more flowery words to choose to insult someone with greater effect.5. Social porn: no inspirational quotes or…
  • HACKED!!!!

    Winston Chong
    15 Aug 2014 | 10:34 pm
    I finally managed to hack this Winston blog account using password ChickMagnet. Now I can write any nonsense I want and nobody can stop me! But after reading his posts I think he has written much worse than anything I can think of. And maybe I should return the only thing in the world that he has control.
  • Words of wisdom (Part 2)

    Winston Chong
    13 Aug 2014 | 10:15 pm
    SensesBest Taste – Anything cooked with love from your kitchen.Best Sight – Your spouse drooling on the pillow while sleeping.Best Sound – Your mum’s voice on the overseas call reminding you to wear and eat more.Best Touch – Soothing tummy rub for your cat/dog (Non-pet-owners to replace pets with kids)Best Smell – Your blanket after more than 3 months of daily usage. (6 months and above for best effect) :)To have a frown-free day ahead, you don't need to wear your power-suit or your most alluring perfume. You just need to wear a smile. However, the most effortless item one…
  • Why Seven Deadly Sins are considered sins ONLY if you don't practice them

    Winston Chong
    6 Aug 2014 | 6:01 pm
    LustIf great men didn't fall at the feet of beauties like Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe, history would be so boring and we wouldn't have tomes and movies on their steamy sexploits. GluttonyLife would be meaningless if we eat to live and not live to eat. Prisoners on death row don't ask for a chance to read 50 Shades of Grey or listen to Pharrell Williams' Happy. They want their last meal to be out of this world before they go out of this world. GreedModern civilisation as we know it wouldn't exist if one person don't desire to have just a bit more than the next. New York with its cathedrals of…
  • All in a day's work in my office (Part 6)

    Winston Chong
    3 Aug 2014 | 3:25 am
    I was having lunch at my neighbourhood coffee-shop and had an interesting time observing the congregation of elderly folks seated at the next table. The loudest ones dominated the conversation, and they would repeat their lines a few times to the rest who were either zoned out or playing with their phones. Hey, this is exactly like my weekly department meetings!After witnessing quite a few major changes in my department in recent months under new leadership, I'm beginning to see myself as a character in Game of Thrones, trying hard to survive the cloak and dagger intrigue and the office…
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    Funny Dating & Relationship Stories & Advice - Melanys Guydlines

  • Run For Your Life: It’s A Singles Event

    Melany
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:40 am
    Once upon a time there was a blonde, single girl who was a great catch but could not meet anyone normal so she decided to put on her big girl panties, black eyeliner, 6inch Louis Vuitton heels and try something new. Yes, the Louis may have been a little much for the 115 degree Arizona heat but she wanted to wear them so she did.  After getting lost in a second parking lot that week she arrives at her final destination, which is a group of young, active, singles looking to meet people just like them. And…. STOP right there.... Continue Reading
  • Some Days Don’t You Just Ask Yourself “Why”?

    Melany
    15 Aug 2014 | 9:22 am
    ……over and over? “I don’t get it”. I think I say that phrase more than any other phrase besides “I am tired”. Seriously, I am traveling through this world wondering why so many parents have dropped their children on their heads, more than once with, all the stupid shit I observe people doing on an hourly basis. They should provide gloves laced with glue for prevention of parental dropping of children once your babies are handed over from the Doctor. Why don’t people need to have licenses to have children? This is a great question. I just don’t get it.... Continue Reading
  • Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

    Melany
    11 Aug 2014 | 12:25 pm
    I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is... Continue Reading
  • I Got Social Last Night

    Melany
    8 Aug 2014 | 9:32 pm
    I went to my first Diamondbacks game last night courtesy of Cox Communication and CoxGiglife. I was invited by a person I follow on twitter and you know you are not in Los Angeles any more when you get invited to an event like that and they actually make it happen! It rocked but I have no more #hashtags to give for at least a few days.  Don’t quote me because that is a lie. Social Media events are always funny because everyone has to get their tweets or facebook posts in before everyone else. I am included in this... Continue Reading
  • Win Up To $25,000 From Cars.com By Showing Your #newcarface

    Melany
    5 Aug 2014 | 1:07 pm
    When I was contacted to write this sponsored post for Cars.com it was a no brainer for me to oblige! I love cars and always have. It is safe to say, I am obsessed with fast sports, cars without a lid – you know? Convertibles! I am from California and don’t think I could be more of the cliché California girl driving my speedy racing car, top down, rock music cranked and hair blowing in the wind any more than I already am. ROCK ON! The faster the car and the louder the music – the happier I am! I remember this one test drive I went on with my father when we were looking at buying a new…
 
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • The Robin Williams Edition

    themidside
    17 Aug 2014 | 9:06 pm
    The world ain’t never had a a friend like Robin Williams, so to celebrate his life we recount some of the best stories we’ve heard about how he touched people (not in a Patch Adams or One Hour Photo kind of way). We also discuss what depression actually is and why Aladdin seems to be a forgotten Disney movie.
  • The Mass Hysteria Edition

    themidside
    10 Aug 2014 | 8:35 pm
    Don’t panic! We’re longer now. In a special extended episode, we attempt to calm the hysteria around the topics that won’t go away including the cheating New England Patriots, Batman v Superman, True Detective, and zombie apocalypse survival plans. Don’t worry, if you need to take a break to calm down by listening to the latest All Time Low album, we understand. Just promise you won’t make like a Raven and do it For Baltimore.
  • The Guardians Edition

    themidside
    5 Aug 2014 | 12:39 am
    Guardians, they’re supposed to protect us, but do they really? We take a hard look at the cops who defend us from college girls with sparkling water, the guardian angels who warn us about nothing, and The Guardians of the Galaxy who save us from boredom. We also heap praise upon Dreamworks Animation’s 2012 feature Rise of the Guardians. Now would someone send us some Choco Pies?
  • The 2014 Comic-Con Edition

    themidside
    27 Jul 2014 | 11:56 pm
    Want to know who won Comic-Con? We’ll tell you (spoiler: no one), as well as break down all the television news that came out of San Diego. Don’t worry, it won’t all be a Zack Snyder love-fest. There are some shows we wish would just die…and Elliot really doesn’t like Kristen Bell for some reason.
  • Black Captain America, The Strain Review, and Nice Guys

    themidside
    20 Jul 2014 | 11:12 pm
    The world’s a-changin’, and we’re ready for it in The Midside. While none of us are shocked at Marvel making Captain America black and Thor a woman or how awesome The Strain’s premiere episode was, Elliot is so unable to understand why women have such a problem with nice guys that Justin has to break it down for him. Join us for the discussion or we’ll find you and toss you into a giant hole in Siberia.
 
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    CheesyPeasy

  • Cuteness Overload

    cheesypeasy
    18 Aug 2014 | 12:28 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Cuteness Overload appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • How to be a gentleman

    cheesypeasy
    18 Aug 2014 | 10:08 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post How to be a gentleman appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Cobra Cat

    cheesypeasy
    18 Aug 2014 | 3:01 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Cobra Cat appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Simple Minds

    cheesypeasy
    17 Aug 2014 | 9:46 pm
    [sources] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Simple Minds appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • 90′s Rock

    cheesypeasy
    17 Aug 2014 | 3:32 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post 90′s Rock appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
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    Funny Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes | Short Real Inspiring Stories

  • “Real Success is willing to do what other people are not.”- Applying Leave Jokes

    Malenadu
    20 Aug 2014 | 11:17 am
    I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy so I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'what in the name of good GOD are you doing?’ I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of…
  • “Life’s meaning is still a Joke, because I don’t get it.”- Thief Jokes

    Malenadu
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:44 am
    A bitter mockery of life..............  Lawyer wants us to fall in a dispute...   The doctor wants us to fall ill...  The police want us to do some crime...   Teacher's eyes we are born stupid...  Only a burglar wants us to be Sleep well and wealthy.
  • “Success is a measure as decided by others, Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.”- Customer Jokes

    Malenadu
    19 Aug 2014 | 9:41 am
    A man walked into a pet shop, pointed to a large dog in a kennel and said: "How much do you want for that big dog?" "Fifty dollars," replied the clerk. "And how much for that small fella there?" asked the customer. "One hundred dollars," was the reply. "And for that tiny one?" "Two hundred dollars," said the clerk. The customer looked puzzled. "How much, "he asked, "will it cost me if I don't buy a dog at all?" Related Keywords- Funny Jokes on Sales, Small Story with Customer, Fun article with salesman, Interesting Incident on Dog Cost, Quotes on Satisfaction, Success Reward Humor Cartoon
  • “Gods greatest Gift to Humanity is Freedom of Choice.”- Priest Jokes

    Malenadu
    18 Aug 2014 | 10:50 am
    An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them.
  • “Every other person is better than what you have got in Marriage.”- Wife Jokes

    Malenadu
    18 Aug 2014 | 8:31 am
    Little Bob was shopping with his mother, much to his dismay. When they walked past a toy store and Bob saw a new toy he really wanted, he begged and pleaded and pulled on his mama's arm until she said, "Sorry Bob. We are not here to buy you a toy." Bob pulled away from his mama in anger and said, "I never met a lady as mean as you!" Taking his hand in hers, she gently retorted, "Bob, darling, someday you'll get married and you will ... you will!" Related Keywords- Funny Jokes on other Women, Small Story on wife, Fun article with kid, Interesting Incident with bob, Marriage Quotes, Seeing…
 
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    WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts

  • WTF Facts: The commendable deed of Chiune Sugihara

    admin
    10 Aug 2014 | 12:14 pm
    WTF Facts: The commendable deed of Chiune Sugihara Chiune Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat in Lithuania during WWII saved over 6000 lives. When his consulate was being shut down and he had to evacuate, witness claims that he was still writing visas and throwing them out of the window as the train[...] The post WTF Facts: The commendable deed of Chiune Sugihara appeared first on WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts.
  • WTF Facts: The weird establishment of Scotland Yard

    admin
    10 Aug 2014 | 12:13 pm
    WTF Facts: The weird establishment of Scotland Yard Scotland Yard, one of the world’s best-known police agencies,  is built on top of an unsolved crime scene — WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts The post WTF Facts: The weird establishment of Scotland Yard appeared first on WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts.
  • Interesting Facts: Gordon Ramsay left his first job because his chef used to shout at him

    admin
    7 Aug 2014 | 7:59 pm
    Interesting Facts: Gordon Ramsay left his first job because his chef used to shout at him Gordon Ramsay left one of his first jobs as an aspiring cook  because he was tired of ‘the rages, the bullying and the violence’ perpetrated by the head chef — WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable[...] The post Interesting Facts: Gordon Ramsay left his first job because his chef used to shout at him appeared first on WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts.
  • WTF Facts: The Poisonous Newt which killed 4 hunters

    admin
    4 Aug 2014 | 9:09 am
    WTF Facts: The Poisonous Newt which killed 4 hunters The hunters in Oregon were discovered dead around their camp site with no marks or signs of struggle. The only unusual thing was the discovery of a dead newt in their coffee pot that was later found to produce tetradotoxin- a poison[...] The post WTF Facts: The Poisonous Newt which killed 4 hunters appeared first on WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts.
  • WTF Facts: How Robert Smalls, a slave became a congressman

    admin
    4 Aug 2014 | 9:08 am
    WTF Facts: How Robert Smalls, a slave became a congressman In 1861 a slave took over a confederate ship and delivered it to the union. He was later given a ship to command in the civil war. After the war, he bought the house he was slave in and became a[...] The post WTF Facts: How Robert Smalls, a slave became a congressman appeared first on WTF Facts | Interesting and unbelievable facts.
 
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    Wow Top 10

  • Top 10 date night ideas

    Contributor
    17 Aug 2014 | 12:23 am
    Date nights can sometimes get worrisome with all the planning and sometimes a wish to give surprises. What do you do every time, so that, things remain fresh and lovely? It may not look very easy to come up with a new idea for every date but what you don’t know is, even small twists to the regular ideas can make your date just perfect. Here is a list of top 10 date night idea, which will give you some options t jazz up the night and make the date special.10. Drink and DanceIf you both love clubbing, this can be your best shot at a wonderful date night together. Late nights, is the best time…
  • 10 Best Safety Razors for Shaving

    Contributor
    13 Aug 2014 | 12:48 am
    Considering we shave every day, what are the best options at our disposal? Where would we find all the options to study? The Supermarket’s health and personal hygiene section or the online stores. The shaving and hair removal sections have many options of razors for men, women and unisex. All these razors come in disposable plastic versions due to their use in medicine and other professions. With the risk of spread of disease these are an intelligent option. The disposable would be an obvious choice while travelling and living in a large congregation where one does not want to share…
  • Top 10 gift ideas for mom

    Contributor
    9 Aug 2014 | 4:25 am
    Moms are usually the most worked up people of our society. They work 24×7 without a break and not to say that their job is the most thankless one on the planet. Really thanking them occasionally once a while on their birthdays or the mother’s day is simply not enough. We as kids or as better halves, need to up our game by making sure that they are thanked enough. Now, if you are going to say, “I have no idea what to get her”, following is a list of top 10 gift ideas for mom, which will give you some awesome ideas.10. A spa couponA relaxing spa experience can be an ultimate gift for…
  • 10 beautiful braid hairstyles

    Contributor
    9 Aug 2014 | 3:47 am
    “Our bodies, to every hair and shred of skin, are received from our parents. We must not presume to injure or to wound them. This is the beginning of filial piety. When we have established our character by the practice of this filial course, so as to make our name famous in future ages and thereby glorify our parents, this is the end of filial piety.”Confucius, (551-470 BCThe above philosophy is at the base of the belief that one should maintain and beautify one self. As they do everything else, they inherit. This lead to grooming of every part of self, this included the hair.
  • Top 10 must have survival gear for camping

    Contributor
    8 Aug 2014 | 10:41 am
    Come summers and everybody wants to get outsides and enjoy the nature. Camping has become a culture, a routine for the summer seasons and why not. These trips are fun family times and everybody should do it. It not just brings you close to nature but also to your family and friends. Like every outing, camping needs some meticulous planning. There are a few things that you must take with you to have a successful trip.  Here’s a quick list of survival gear for your reference.10. BackpackNow, last but not the least, you need a good backpack or a trekking bag to carry all the stuff mentioned…
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • Enjoy These Bananas on a Hammock

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    19 Aug 2014 | 5:20 am
    Every single time I think about bananas, I think about banana hammocks. Have I ever mentioned that my mind is ALWAYS in the gutter? Because THIS is what a banana hammock REALLY is… I should just live in the sewer with the Ninja Turtles. I would probably marry Splinter… Because I like my men harry?? And we would have some cute rat babies… OKAY… Getting off track. And since when are rats cute? Bananas also remind me of high school sex [Read On!]
  • Coho Salmon, An Oscar Winner… And More!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    12 Aug 2014 | 5:16 am
    If we truly were what we ate… I would be a… Sabhambassagi Or in other words, I would be one EXTREMELY WEIRD LOOKING yet CRAZY TASTY FISH. Oh wait, I guess the saying IS true, because well… I just described myself (yes, I am CRAZY tasty… Mind —> Gutter)!  ANY WHO… Speaking of crazy tasty (and no, I am not about to talk about myself some more), emphasis on the tasty… A sizzling fish company sent Santa Claus to my house (YES – IN [Read On!]
  • What The Fudge?

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    5 Aug 2014 | 5:30 am
    Non-Organic, Non Grass-Fed, Non-Fat Milk… Ew… What the FUDGE! Maltodextrin… Der… What the FUDGE! Asparatame… Okay, SERIOUSLY… What the FUDGE! I am so over these pseudo low-fat “healthy treats” that trick people into buying them because of their flashy “I’m so healthy” labels/claims… I am over them as much as I am over hearing about Kim Kardashian posting ass provocative selfies on Instagram. I… GIVE… NO… FUDGES!!!! However, I do give fudges about ALL OF YOU who come hang out with me [Read On!]
  • Sharing The SamePlate

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    29 Jul 2014 | 6:44 am
    I have a confession to make. And no it’s not that I was one of the fembots in Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me. (Uh…. How old was I in 1999!) Photoshop is so much easier than getting a boob job! It’s that I… Hate. Abhor. Detest. Loathe. Despise… SHARING FOOD! ALL MINE! Don’t you dare try and take food off my plate, unless you want your arm severed off with my knife. Don’t bother even asking for a bite either, [Read On!]
  • Poppin’ Tarts In The Kitchen

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    22 Jul 2014 | 5:42 am
    TWINS! TWINS! TWINS! You know what? My identical twin Stephanie and I are a little irked that we did not book the role of Michelle on Full House or the roles Tia and Tamera scored on Sister, Sister! Alas, we have since toilet papered the casting director’s houses gotten over it and now make YouTube videos… Did you know Stephanie fills in for me when I am not feeling quite up to make a video? I bet you didn’t because people truly [Read On!]
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