Humor

  • Most Topular Stories

  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    nonamedufus
    20 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
  • And Now There’s a Cloud in the Cloud

    Nanny Goats in Panties
    Margaret
    31 Mar 2014 | 7:09 pm
    You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m doing here when I am up to my eyeballs in goose livers, but my housemate and I decided to take a break from all the poultry guts and celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary per our usual tradition of running off to the casino and spending the night. And with past annual visits resulting in power outages and thievery, we thought, what could possibly happen this time? And so it was I’m yanking the one arm bandit’s chain when my phone vibrates urgently at me to tell me about a tornado warning and severe thunderstorms IN MY AREA…
  • No bunnies died for this picture

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:00 am
    Today is Thursday, which is good because this week I’ve been swamped with a combination of editing on the book and insanely strange emotions I blame on the moon.  But since it’s Thursday I can just throw an old picture up here and it counts as a post because it’s Throwback Thursday.  Yay for laziness! This is Hailey on her first Easter.  They didn’t have cute etsy hats nine years ago so I had to make my own.  I made it by buying a stuffed animal and scalping it and tying it to her head.  This is what we did in the old days before everyone learned to knit and it…
  • You’ll shoot your eye out.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    21 Apr 2014 | 9:15 am
    I just saw this on the “Buy-one-get-one-half-off” rack at our local toy store: Awesome. I assumed the eye-patch was for after you’d shot your brother’s eye out, but Victor thought that it was perhaps preventative, because if you were pretending to be a pirate while being shot at you’d have one less eye exposed to the crossfire. Either way, I want to lick whoever put these two things together. And in other news, it’s Monday, but I didn’t post the weekly wrap-up yesterday because I knew you were too busy recovering from having to spend time with…
  • “Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason

    Fair City News
    FairCityNews.com
    21 Apr 2014 | 5:01 am
    Baffling online parking recently unveiled Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot Com Parking’? Area shoppers had several takes on the curious moniker. “I think it is a place where you can go park and find an item in the store while on your smart phone,” said Mike Fergrat, of Ozarks, MO. “The idea of having a…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Bloggess

  • Please talk to your children. *mild trigger warning*

    thebloggess
    22 Apr 2014 | 9:50 am
    Yesterday Hailey came home terrified because of a letter sent home to all the kids in her elementary school.  It was meant for the parents but of course the kids on the bus read it and talked about it and made it more so much scarier, as children do.  And it is scary. According to what I’ve read, an unnamed elementary school in our district has been threatened with mass violence by anonymous emails from someone who identified themselves as a serial killer.  It’s most likely a hoax (as most of these things are) and the fact that the emailer claims that it will happen on…
  • You’ll shoot your eye out.

    thebloggess
    21 Apr 2014 | 9:15 am
    I just saw this on the “Buy-one-get-one-half-off” rack at our local toy store: Awesome. I assumed the eye-patch was for after you’d shot your brother’s eye out, but Victor thought that it was perhaps preventative, because if you were pretending to be a pirate while being shot at you’d have one less eye exposed to the crossfire. Either way, I want to lick whoever put these two things together. And in other news, it’s Monday, but I didn’t post the weekly wrap-up yesterday because I knew you were too busy recovering from having to spend time with…
  • No bunnies died for this picture

    thebloggess
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:00 am
    Today is Thursday, which is good because this week I’ve been swamped with a combination of editing on the book and insanely strange emotions I blame on the moon.  But since it’s Thursday I can just throw an old picture up here and it counts as a post because it’s Throwback Thursday.  Yay for laziness! This is Hailey on her first Easter.  They didn’t have cute etsy hats nine years ago so I had to make my own.  I made it by buying a stuffed animal and scalping it and tying it to her head.  This is what we did in the old days before everyone learned to knit and it…
  • I need your help to solve assholism and get my Nobel Prize

    thebloggess
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:19 am
    me:  Things aren’t going right for me. Victor:  How do you mean? me:  I can’t make things with words work. Victor:  Could you be more vague? me:  My thing with the words in it isn’t working right. Victor:  Your…head? me:  Sort of.  The creative part that makes words fit together properly.  There’s probably a word for it.  I’d probably know what it was if my head wasn’t broken right now. Victor:  Your head is always broken. me:  Yes, but most of the time that works in my favor.  Right now everything is cloudy and I’m exhausted and I…
  • Playing in the swamp

    thebloggess
    10 Apr 2014 | 9:59 am
    If you’ve read here long enough you’ve probably seen Brooke Shaden‘s work because it’s the strange, whimsical and macabre photography that goes so well with some of my darker writing. She’s magic. And today she’s coming to Texas so she can photograph me in a swamp.  It’s possible I’ll be eaten by alligators, but – in fairness – that’s probably a really fascinating way to die, and knowing Brooke she’ll probably get some awesomely disturbing  photos out of it.  I give you full permission to look at any death photos…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • Ring My Bell

    Lyndsey
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:50 pm
    Submitted by CC The post Ring My Bell appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Imagining You

    Lyndsey
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:49 pm
    Submitted by Tenshi The post Imagining You appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • And The Lord Commandeth: Dress Fancy

    Lyndsey
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:48 pm
    Submitted by Ariel The post And The Lord Commandeth: Dress Fancy appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • MMG Or OMG

    Lyndsey
    23 Apr 2014 | 3:50 pm
    Submitted by Tiffany The post MMG Or OMG appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Life’s Only Worth Living If…

    Lyndsey
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:39 pm
    Submitted by Lily The post Life’s Only Worth Living If… appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    McSweeney’s

  • I’m Sick of Being Blackmailed Into Playing Bass for Your Band by Keaton Patti

    24 Apr 2014 | 4:56 am
    Dan, if you’re going to tell the company about my embezzling, just do it. I’m not playing another bass note for your stupid band. I’m using the term “band” liberally, since there isn’t a word that accurately describes the abomination you and your two cousins do with instruments. Whoever creates a word for it will undoubtedly be the Antichrist.The truth is, I’d rather be in jail than lugging an 80-pound bass amp to what you describe as “venues.” A pharmacy’s parking lot isn’t a venue, Dan—it’s a parking lot. The fact that you picked…
  • Retail Therapy: Inside the Apple Store: APPLE ENGINEER REVEALS iWATCH SPECS by J.K. Appleseed

    24 Apr 2014 | 4:55 am
    Here are three things you need to know about the iWATCH.1. The rumors that it will cost ‘thousands of dollars’ are untrue. It will retail for $129.99 in the US and Canada.2. This won’t be a repeat product with minor tweaks and improvements on previous versions. The iWATCH is completely revolutionary. It DESTROYS the whole category of “wearable technology.”How do I know? Let’s just say I didn’t spend ten years in Apple R&D (that’s what we call the Red and Delicious breeding program at Drole Fruit and Juice Laboratories, where I am currently Chief Apple Engineer) for…
  • List: Hot Singles are In Your Area! by Jack Urwin

    24 Apr 2014 | 4:54 am
    Hot singles are in your area!Hot singles want your body!Hot singles just want someone to hold them on these cold, wintry nights!Hot singles are making you breakfast!Hot singles are inviting you to meet their parents upstate for Easter!Hot singles are debating whether you move in together!Hot singles are annoyed you’ve woken them up so early, it’s the fucking weekend man, can’t you let them sleep?Hot singles are resigned to falling asleep in front of the TV now the initial passion and sexual desire has dissipated!Hot singles don’t get why it’s such a problem they’ve spent three…
  • Vinny’s Joke Consignment and Pawn Shop by Thomas Scott

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:01 am
    [A grubby city storefront with VINNY’S JOKE CONSIGNMENT AND PAWN SHOP painted in faded letters above the awning. A young hood carrying a small paper bag scurries inside the store.]VINNY: What you got for me today, Johnny?JOHNNY: Got a whole bunch of Oscar zingers I stole off a Twitter.VINNY: Oscar jokes? Johnny, Johnny, please, are you serious? The Oscars were two months ago. What am I supposed to do with Oscar jokes? [Pours the bag on the counter.] Look at these. These are tiny. They’re already full of rust. These are no good to me. Everyone steals tweets, anyway. Bring me something…
  • Testomania: How Rational Are You? by Janet Manley

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    How do you deal with cognitive dissonance—the conflict that arises between our internal beliefs and external world experience?a) I refuse to believe I have experienced cognitive dissonance.b) I blame George R.R. Martin for all my emotional turmoil.c) How do you deal with your cognitive dissonance?d) You can either shift your beliefs in light of new knowledge, or exert steady, transformative pressure on the world by founding your own multimedia production company with your wife and pumping out historical/public policy books and “documentaries” that support your agenda.e) Dig around until…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Onion

  • American Voices: U.S. Middle Class No Longer Richest In World

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:00 am
    An analysis by the New York Times revealed that the United States no longer has the richest middle class in the world and is now second behind Canada.
  • American Voices: ‘Goonies’ Sequel In The Works

    23 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Reports are surfacing that a sequel is in store for The Goonies, the 1985 film about a group of kids hunting for treasure to save their homes from foreclosure, a possibility that has delighted fans who hope to see the film return with original cast...
  • Neighborhood Kids Grant Landmark Status To House Where Guy Killed Himself

    23 Apr 2014 | 1:15 pm
    LINCOLN, NE—Granting it the same distinction as the playground where a third-grader stepped on a huge needle and the community swimming pool where someone dove in and broke his neck, neighborhood sources confirmed Wednesday that the grade-schoolers ...
  • Activists Release Horrifying Video Showing How Meat Products Are Eaten

    23 Apr 2014 | 1:00 pm
    WASHINGTON—Forcing the grisly and rarely acknowledged practices into the public eye, a group of activists posted several disturbing videos online this week that expose how most meat products are eaten, sources confirmed. Secretly filmed on cell phon...
  • Perverted Little Boy Asks To Sleep With Parents

    23 Apr 2014 | 12:00 pm
    ENID, OK—Reportedly seeking to indulge his twisted desires for the third time in as many nights, perverted 6-year-old Kyle Rogers entered his parents’ bedroom Tuesday night and directly asked if he could sleep with both of them, household sour...
 
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Cracked: All Posts

  • 4 Lesser-Known Halves of Music Duos Who Deserve Your Respect

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Adam Tod Brown  Published: April 24th, 2014  Second fiddle is a hard instrument to play, especially when you know you deserve better. That the go-to term we use to describe the less important half of a duo is a music reference is evidence that this is a situation that comes up on an especially
  • 33 Small But Disastrous Changes to the Avengers Movies

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: April 24th, 2014  Thanks to great acting, superb storytelling, and Mark Ruffalo, the Avengers films are quickly establishing themselves as one of the best franchises in film history. But what would these movies be like if everyone on board suddenly just didn't give a
  • 5 Math Lessons You Don't Really Need in the Real World

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Chris Bucholz  Published: April 24th, 2014  Math is many students' most hated subject in school, the cause of untold nightmares and countless "I can't evens." And inevitably when dealing with a subject so abstract to their daily lives, many students will stand up and in a clear, precise voice
  • The 4 Jerks Everyone Has to Deal With

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Pauli Poisou  Published: April 24th, 2014  I'm what you might call a freelance social worker; I strive to make the world a better place, one bastard at a time. Granted, this usually manifests in slightly erratic ways, like screaming "Get off the phone, idiot!" directly in the ear of the idiot
  • 5 Iconic Pop Culture Moments That Weren't in the Original

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Ian Ury,Ryan Menezes  Published: April 24th, 2014  Some adaptations hew very closely to the original. After all, there's a reason you're adapting it in the first place, right? But some writers receive the original manuscript, decide that whatever crap they can pull out of their ass is far superior to
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Predator Press

  • What the Fuck is a "Rampart," and Why are we Watching Them Again?

    Michael Wolfe
    18 Apr 2014 | 3:08 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "RDO has recalled me," says Sapphire, sadly. "Oh bullshit," I says. "He wouldn't do that. I love you." "You fired me out of a spaceship, crashed that spaceship into me, let me nearly burn up in Earth's atmosphere as I fell, destroyed my homeworld, ruined my credit ..." "Oh come on" I says. "Where I come from, that's called courting. RDO is a short-sighted moron." "He told me you would say that." Okay, fine. I'm officially depressed now. And need solid, clinical advice. "Before you go, do you happen to know Jenny McCarthy's phone number?"Sapphire smiles."I have her on…
  • Red Wedding

    Michael Wolfe
    13 Apr 2014 | 6:23 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] My tires screamed in agony against the parking lot asphalt. The warehouse of the media distributor I've worked at for two years was on fire. An alarm blared. I noticed other cars in the parking lot, and this tells me there are co-workers inside. I grabbed my codekey and tried the door against hope. If the electricity is out, I would have to plow my car –my beloved 1990 Plymouth Horizon, fully equipped with optional AM radio and brakes on all tires- through a weak wall thirty feet to my right. But the codekey fucking worked. Thick black smoke billowed out, and I…
  • Rejoining the Primordial Ooze

    Michael Wolfe
    20 Mar 2014 | 7:01 pm
     Predator Press   [LOBO] Today was exactly the same as any other day. Shaved, showered, teeth brushed, car warmed up [via remote start], and a full commuter cup of steaming coffee. But it was sixty degrees -the highest temperature since October, I think- when I hit that same crowded intersection at 7:37am. But there was no one there. I will start my new job in ten minutes. A bluebird slipped in, and sang to me from my shoulder. A rainbow seems to follow my car as I close the distance. See, "Pornographic Materials" in my company means anything containing sexual content.
  • Slippery Plastic

    Michael Wolfe
    18 Mar 2014 | 5:58 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "You gotta be kidding," I says.  "My first raise in two years, and you offer me this?" "It's the best we can do," Lars Arson, the Receiving Department Manager insists.  "Most employees got nothing at all." "I've been working sixty-hour weeks for six months.  And in the third worst winter in Chicago history, I drove through horizontal-blowing subzero blizzards -replete with lightning and thunder- to get here on time," I says, thumping my finger on his desk.  "They got nothing?  Good!  When I drag your ass out onto there and…
  • Future LOBOnian-American Diplomatic Relations in Question

    Michael Wolfe
    15 Mar 2014 | 9:40 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] I remember "coming to" vaguely. -A balding man, typing with one finger, is asking me questions I am answering on autopilot.  He fills out forms -replete with scan-friendly magnetic bar codes- in handwritten immaculate print as he examines my birth certificate.  On the counter in front of me is my two-inch thick manila folder containing my identity.  A tattered copy of the current Scientific American -which I pretend to read intensely when I think I will have time to kill in public- is pushed aside in cramped space. The hands…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • Billy On the Street: I Hate Art!

    amyeicher
    23 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Billy On the Street: I Hate Art! 1:48 Billy says that, like Tyler Perry, he hates art and is doing everything in his power to destroy it. So in this game Billy ambushes random people with Tyler Perry trivia and for every question they get right, he destroys a piece of art! Watch Billy on the Street Wednesdays at 11/10c on Fuse! Submitted by: amyeicher Regular Keywords: billy on the street new york billy eichner fuse television tyler perry art Views: 489
  • Mornings with Alex and Drew – Jerk Offs

    Chris Singel
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:32 pm
    Mornings with Alex and Drew – Jerk Offs 2:00 Alex and Drew and a frank discussion about masturbation, privacy, and speakrets. Submitted by: Chris Singel Regular Keywords: alex drew roommates morning mornings awkward living situation house cohabitation gross young adults twenties new girl jerk off jerking off masturbation privacy special alone time limits Views: 807
  • J.R. Smith's Goodbye Letter to Coach Mike Woodson

    zpoitras
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:30 pm
    J.R. Smith's Goodbye Letter to Coach ... Mike Woodson was recently fired by the New York Knicks. One of his players, J.R. Smith, wrote him a goodbye letter. Submitted by: zpoitras Regular Keywords: jr smith knicks basketball mike woodson woodson fired phil jackson letter goodbye Views: 1,915
  • The 17 Best GIFs That Just So Happen to Take Place in a Parking Lot

    GifGuide
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:18 pm
    The 17 Best GIFs That Just So Happen ... Take as much time as you need looking at these. We’ll wait in the car. Submitted by: GifGuide Regular Keywords: funny pics funny pics gifs funny gifs fails falls parking lot parking cars drunk lol gifs wtf Views: 360
  • 17 Tips For Improving Your iPhone Battery Life

    Pat O'Brien
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:14 am
    17 Tips For Improving Your iPhone Bat... Some helpful tips for extending and spicing up the life of your phone. Submitted by: Pat O'Brien Regular Keywords: iphone apple iphone battery iphone battery life iphone 5 iphone 6 tim cook siri iphone charger iphone case new iphone iphone 5s iphone c Views: 23,760
 
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Awesomely Luvvie

  • Whose Wayward Brother is This on Vine? Oh Yeah: Riff Raff

    Luvvie
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:31 pm
    Sometimes, loitering on Twitter outside of my mentions gets me in trouble. Today was one of those times because I came across the Vine video below and I almost fell out my chair. I am frightened. What is this and why is this? Who what when? I have questions and I wanna just dip my laptop in holy water because this human snake here… First of all, this dude legit went and got his teeth filed into bangs. Maybe looking like a serpent about the mouth is what’s hot in these streets. And then he capped them with gold. He really wanted people to take his name (Riff Raff) literally. And…
  • You Can’t Outdo Black People: Presidential Easter Edition

    Luvvie
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:00 am
    Happy Resurrection Sunday, Saints and Aints! God is good ALLATAHM and ALLATAHM God is good! Yes! I love Easter, because we get to give Jesus extra praise. But also because it is a day for us to show out everywhere with fashion. It’s like the fresher we are, the closer we are to Him. And Black folks? Well, we step out with a mission to slay people within a 5 mile radius. The First Couple wasn’t playing with none of us on this Holy Sunday when they stepped out of the White House looking like right. I love it. Yessss Commander-in-Chief of FRESH! President Obama and First Lady…
  • The Price of Free and Fair Election: Scandal Season 3 Finale Recap

    Luvvie
    18 Apr 2014 | 12:12 pm
    Let’s just get into the finale of Scandal season 3. In the Beginning – There’s 15 minutes left before the bomb goes off and people are still at the church waiting on the President, who’s at the White House practicing his speech for Cyrus (who is stalling). Jake calls the Chief of Staff’s phone and is ignored. Olivia is with Papa Pope as he’s being wheeled into the emergency room, blood everywhere. Adnan is elsewhere pointing a gun to Harrison’s head as Mama Pope waits outside the church watching to see if the President shows up. Jake barges into the Oval Office and says…
  • Something’s On Jermaine Jackson’s Scalp and It’s a Mystery

    Luvvie
    16 Apr 2014 | 7:37 pm
    Jermaine Jackson has somehow turned out to be the oddest man in a family of really talented weird people and that is no small feat. Besides all the foolery he partakes in, like changing his last name to Jacksun (O__O) and being stuck in Africa because of his lack of child support payment, the dude has been walking around with hair paint for years. He was on Celebrity Wife Swap the other day and folks were treated to this visual: WHAT IS THIS, JERMAJESTY’S DADDY?? Jermaine cut off the growth on a chia pet, dipped it in tar and glued it on his scalp like TADA! I’m so unable. I…
  • Dear Winter, You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome. Please Go.

    Luvvie
    16 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    I’m cold. You’re cold. We’re all cold. The word “cold” is freezing. But it’s Spring and this is ri-damb-diculous. Where is security??? Winter needs to be escorted out since it doesn’t want to leave on its own free will. This is why I am here with this sternly-worded letter. I am advocating for warmth. Dear Winter, I am tired. I have no more fight left in me. My spirit is weak and my UGG boots are spoiled. I DON TIRE O! All I have to give you is my dignity but I think you took that in January when I had to put on 3 pairs of pants, 4 pairs of socks, 2…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Brittany, Herself.

  • Frozen Banana Ice Cream

    Brittany
    20 Apr 2014 | 1:14 pm
    Why on Earth was I so late on the uptake with this? Bananas? Good. Ice cream? Good. Banana Ice Cream? Cheaper than other ice cream. So apparently, you can make ice cream out of bananas. Just bananas, nothing added. They do this weird thing that when you blend them, they turn into creamy ice cream. My mind was blown. Science is amazing. The kids and I made some with one of their dairy-free classmates, and we’ve been hooked ever since. Also, it’s so easy, a kid could do it, if you happen to let your kid play with blenders with super sharp blades, which I obviously do. NOW GET IN…
  • A Couple Days in Chinatown

    Brittany
    18 Apr 2014 | 6:10 am
    My book is due today, and writing it has been mentally consuming. I’m sorry I have been absent, but I wanted to take a second to update you on where I’ve been, because it’s been a pretty amazing month. First up, a peek at what I did while I was in New York City last week… I ate a human hand in Chinatown. I think it was a human hand. Definitely a knuckle. It was hard to tell, there was a lot of sauce. The moral of the story is, if you go for Dim Sum at 8am, don’t let the little old man you are seated with order for you. Especially if he doesn’t speak…
  • Camp Throwback Small Business LOVE Sponsorship

    Brittany
    4 Apr 2014 | 6:15 am
    What is Camp Throwback Camp Throwback FAQ’s Camp Throwback Schedule & Program Announcements Attention small business owners! If you are interested in giving yourself the Camp Throwback sponsor treatment, have I got some news for you! I am itching to show my Small Business LOVE, so I’m opening up $100 Small Business Love Sponsorships! For $100 you can get YOUR small business in the Camp Throwback Programs, Camp Throwback Sponsorship Board as well as linked to in the Camp Throwback section of BrittanyHerself.com! If you are intested, drop me an email: campthrowback@gmail.com ©…
  • The Max & Ruby Finale

    Brittany
    1 Apr 2014 | 8:10 am
    Sometimes when I am stuck watching mind-numbing cartoons with my kids, I daydream about all the ways I’d fix them. I’d dress up like Mark Cuban and demand to see the Imagination Movers profit numbers. I’d burn Caillou’s house down as they slept… kidding. Here is how I imagine the finale of Max & Ruby. It takes place the day Max turns 18, gets sick of Ruby’s bossy shit, and peaces out, Half-Baked style. Up next, Dora & Diego do Flowers in the Attic. © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or…
  • Dear Andy While You Sleep

    Brittany
    20 Mar 2014 | 5:54 am
    Monday I rolled over in bed to come face to face with my little doll-faced cherub. I am keenly aware of the imaginary clock ticking above our heads, and our time of morning time girl snuggles are fleeting. I touched my finger to her warm little nose and she opened her heavy eyes, smiled softly, and then vomited directly into my open mouth, hair and pillow. I can never eat Sweet & Sour Chicken again. That’s a lie, but I can assure you it will be a while. An hour later Andy called, he’d lost a co-worker unexpectedly and it jarred him. I don’t handle death or emotions well,…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Jennifers Review

  • Love Coffee? Love Chicago? Go To CoffeeCon!

    Jennifer Stinnett
    6 Apr 2014 | 7:11 am
    Excited to see that CoffeeCon will once again be making it’s 3rd appearance this year! Not only are they making another year of it, but they have extended the show to 3 new locations this year. The first location kicks off in Chicago on April 12th at the Zhou B Art Center. The other shows will take place later in the year in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York! What is CoffeeCon and do I have to dress up as my favorite coffee? Nope … this “con” is all about the coffee bean (or cherry); from the farmer to the roaster to the barista who puts it in your cup! You think…
  • Balsamic Glazes add Sophisticated Sweet and Sour Yum Yum to Your Cooking Life

    Alyson Khan
    25 Mar 2014 | 2:59 pm
    Having a bottle or two of this magic in your kitchen could be the real game changer. Balsamic glaze is a syrupy reduction of balsamic vinegar that offers superbly delicious, sweet and tangy flavor options to foods ranging from appetizers to desserts. Gourmet Italian’s product line of balsamic glazes include tongue tempters such as fig, blood orange, lemon, sun-dried tomato, strawberry, truffle, cinnamon, and many more.   Also known as balsamic syrup and balsamic reduction, it is the result of heating balsamic vinegar to reduce the product to a syrupy consistency. It leaves the flavors…
  • Reasons To Drink Wine: Video #1001

    Jennifer Stinnett
    21 Mar 2014 | 3:16 pm
    There are so many reasons to drink wine … the appreciation, the winery, the agricultural achievements, the wine making process, the generations of the process and the list is endlessly long. To that end, I decided to try a little different approach as to reasons why you should or need to drink wine. After all – you’re here on Jennifer’s Review, you’re not exactly looking for cultural wine achievements …. So to start off this new venture – I’d like to start sharing “Reasons To Drink Wine” and feature some videos that will clearly give…
  • New wine aerator promises lifetime satisfaction

    Alyson Khan
    20 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Folks, how many of you wait for your wine to open up properly before indulging? It really does make the wine taste better. But as you know, it takes time and…hmm…well what to do? Enter the NEW VinLuxe Wine Aerator by Andre Lorent Lifestyles that will get your wine breathing in seconds! Whether you are at home or on the road cruising wineries or picnicking or grocery shopping or whatever, you don’t have to wait anymore for that vino to peak in your glass!!! It’s sleek, it’s beautiful and comes with its own soft-sided black travel bag. AND if you are not 100% satisfied with the…
  • Sparkling Wine Sunday – Flor Prosecco Sparkling Wine!

    Jennifer Stinnett
    16 Mar 2014 | 11:34 am
    Ah, Sunday … the day of relaxation and family. In my house … it’s always a great time to try a little sparkle on! In my case … my sparkle is served chilled and in some great crystal glasses! Today’s sparkling wine was full of “sparkle”! Serafina Flor Prosecco di Valdobbiadene From Italy NV Imported by Dark Star Imports This is the first time I was a little teased with a sparkling wine. At first sip, you’ll think “dry” … and the next second, you’ll think “sweet”! It’s still a more dry than anywhere near…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Nanny Goats in Panties

  • And Now There’s a Cloud in the Cloud

    Margaret
    31 Mar 2014 | 7:09 pm
    You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m doing here when I am up to my eyeballs in goose livers, but my housemate and I decided to take a break from all the poultry guts and celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary per our usual tradition of running off to the casino and spending the night. And with past annual visits resulting in power outages and thievery, we thought, what could possibly happen this time? And so it was I’m yanking the one arm bandit’s chain when my phone vibrates urgently at me to tell me about a tornado warning and severe thunderstorms IN MY AREA…
  • Choosing Baby Names for Asphalt

    Margaret
    28 Feb 2014 | 11:40 am
    Call me a small stuff sweater. Because I can totally sweat the small stuff when I am of the mind. Take street names, for example. Here in Sacramento, after it ran out of letters to name the streets in this town, and before it got so suburb-happy, somebody came along and named a bunch of major streets in one area as follows: Edison Ave., Watt Ave., Howe Ave., Fulton Ave., Northrup Ave., Arden Way, Bell Ave., Morse Ave., Whitney Ave., Marconi Ave., etc… Great. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s got a nice theme and I can dance to it. However, when some bozo in a cubicle is…
  • Crock Pots, and Other Reasons for Living

    Margaret
    19 Feb 2014 | 11:44 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 19: Tastes Like Chicken How have I lived, lo these many years, without the knowledge and power of the wonder that is the slow cooker, the almighty Crock Pot? I have fought and fought and fought some more with various protein animal products with less than zero success and ultimately limited my repertoire because most meat comes out hard and dry and yucky and blecky and other similar adjectives and I figured I just didn’t have the knack for it and recently came to realize you all have been cheating. Consider yourselves on my poop list. And never have…
  • Goat Thing: Goats Take Olympic Silver!….Ribbon.

    Margaret
    18 Feb 2014 | 11:03 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 18: Liars I could write a whole book about liars and how much I hate them. But then you’d be reading a very heavy tome filled with the ugly that came out of me and you’d question my ability to return from the hate abyss. You’d think of me as a hater. I’d be a big wart-nosed hater. And then you’d hate me. And you’d spray paint “hater” all over my fence even though YOU are doing it out of hate as well. And the hate would spread and infect the rest of the planet until everyone hated everybody and there would…
  • Goat Thing of the Day: A New Video Game

    Margaret
    13 Feb 2014 | 11:17 am
    30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge Day 12: Incommunicado I’ve got a treat for those of you who have been clamoring for a Goat Thing of the Day. I know! It’s been so long! Some game developers were goofing around during a game jam and…what, you don’t know what a game jam is? Are you kidding me? I can’t believe you don’t know what a game jam is. Who doesn’t know what a game jam is. Honestly. I swear, what am I going to do with you people. OK, take this down: a game jam…obviously…is when neighborhood computer programming kids rob local…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pirate Therapy

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Apr 2014 | 12:30 pm
    Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a blood-curdling scream, and then a thump. A … Continue reading →
  • Lucinda at the Laundrette of Shattered Hope

    Mark A. Rayner
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:32 am
    Lucinda was a dreamer. Someday, she knew that her Mom would return with the waffle iron and say she was sorry; perhaps even share her delicious recipe for Translucent Liquid Essence of Bran. She watched as Betsy came back to … Continue reading →
  • Ask General Kang: If my foreign policy is a failure, do I have to admit it?

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Apr 2014 | 6:51 am
    Hell no! If you can’t blame the failures of your policy on some flunky (or opposition party, if you’re unlucky enough to be ruling in a “democracy”) then what kind of leader are you? The best option is to say … Continue reading →
  • Death by gluten

    Mark A. Rayner
    2 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Alltop is chewy with humor.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • Wavering Limerick

    madkane
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:36 pm
    Wavering Limerick By Madeleine Begun Kane Shall I mention this day? Yea, or nay? Can’t decide which opinion holds sway. So I’m stuck on the brink. Let me know what you think About noting Ambivalence Day. (Ambivalence Day is April 24.)
  • Pasta Dreams (Limerick)

    madkane
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:35 pm
    Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta. Pasta Dreams (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane My husband’s excitement is rising. His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising. Cuz Passover week Is soon ending its streak; Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
  • Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)

    madkane
    17 Apr 2014 | 2:05 pm
    Happy “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day!” Yes there’s really such a day, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t what they’re talking about: Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane A man with a habit of peeping Into homes while their owners are sleeping Was arrested and tried. His appeal’s been denied. Now he’s jailed for his neighbors’ safekeeping.
  • An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick)

    madkane
    15 Apr 2014 | 11:43 am
    An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane Last night, I kept searching the skies For that promised “blood moon,” but my eyes Were betrayed by the pall Cast by clouds — a thick wall, Which cut my dream view down to size.
  • Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)

    madkane
    15 Apr 2014 | 10:31 am
    Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread And refuse to munch matzo instead. I spurn rules all the time, Except canons of rhyme And of meter … so don’t be misled.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    iambossy.com

  • Ten Word Tuesday: The Dream Analysis Edition

    BOSSY
    8 Apr 2014 | 4:49 pm
    Bossy is going to tell you about her dream because people love when you do that. Okay. It took place last night. In the dream, Bossy got a puppy. But not just any puppy, it was a cross between a daddy longlegs spider and a stick figure drawn by an embryo: Bossy soon realized that although her puppy seemed to have the constitution of a blouse fiber, it did in fact need the typical puppy things, such as food and water and relieving itself out of doors: At first Bossy seemed to be meeting the challenges of her new docile puppy, who Bossy flanked during its daily routines, hoping the wind…
  • A Very Bossy Tutorial: April Fools’ Day

    BOSSY
    1 Apr 2014 | 7:18 pm
    Hello, and welcome to four-one-one-four! But you can call it Sister Mercy April is finally here. Unlike the first of every other month, April 1st marks the day we tell children the world is canceling summer. This is known as April Fools’ Day! April Fools’ Day goes back to the ancient Romans, who celebrated the Spring equinox with a religious festival they named Hilaria. Marking the end of winter’s gloom, the Hilaria festival featured the usual ancient Roman amusements, such as walking the length of the village crumbling under the weight of the Goddess statue you’re…
  • Bossy’s Ban On Ban Bossy

    BOSSY
    10 Mar 2014 | 5:48 pm
    As some of you may have heard because a Ban Bossy avalanche fell on your Monday morning, Sheryl Sandberg launched a campaign to murder a word. If you don’t know Sheryl Sandberg because you’re buried under an avalanche, here’s a brief tutorial: she was always at the top of her class, graduating from college with the highest distinction. She served as Chief of Staff for the Treasury and then Vice President of Operations at Google where she initiated the site’s philanthropic arm. Now she serves as the Chief Operating Officer of a little online project that rhymes with…
  • Valentine’s Day Alternatives

    BOSSY
    14 Feb 2014 | 7:03 am
    Oh good, it’s Valentine’s Day again, because you know how much the Undivorced enjoy celebrating the holidays of romance. Except the truth is Bossy never saw the appeal. While it’s true Valentine’s Day affords a chocolate-eating opportunity, it’s also the day we celebrate Cupid’s arrow through the heart and — is it Bossy — that’s just ow. Bossy never understood why Valentine’s Day gained in popularity given all of the other widely-known events worthy of celebration that took place on February 14th. Shall we? Happy Apple Parer Patent…
  • The Girl’s Guide To Super Bowl XLVIII

    BOSSY
    2 Feb 2014 | 10:57 am
    Hello and welcome to The Girl’s Guide to Super Bowl XLVIII. The first thing you should know is the X means 10 and the L means 50 and the V means 5 and III means 3 and put them all together and it EQUALS 68! Which is not the number associated with this Super Bowl, but rather 48! See how easy this is so far? The two teams competing are the Seattle Ospreys Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. The Seattle Ospreys Seahawks are named for fish-eating birds of prey while the Denver Broncos are named for Ford’s Sport Utility vehicle. You will be able to keep track of which team is which…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for May 11, 2014

    10 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 24, 2014

    23 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 23, 2014

    22 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 22, 2014

    21 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for April 21, 2014

    20 Apr 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    CAP News

  • Retailers Disappointed In Earth Day Sales Numbers

    24 Apr 2014 | 6:30 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - As President Obama marked Earth Day by flying Air Force One clear across the country, Mark Jenkins meandered through the gathered crowd pushing his metal shopping cart packed to the hilt with mylar balloons in the shape of the Earth, colorful pinwheels with recycling logos stamped on the leaves, and an assortment of glowsticks that could rival the aurora borealis. Jenkins was hopeful; but nobody was buying. "All we heard for weeks was Earth Day this, Earth Day that, a billion people expected to celebrate Earth Day - like it was the second coming of Christmas," Jenkins told…
  • Popeyes Chicken Reaching Out To Abandoned Bunnies

    22 Apr 2014 | 6:19 am
    ATLANTA (CAP) - The Popeyes Chicken And Biscuits franchise launched a campaign this week to help provide for the scores of rabbits given as gifts for Easter and later abandoned. "It makes me sad to think that people treat rabbits like disposable pets or as gifts," said Popeyes CEO Cheryl Bachelder. "We feel by offering this option, the rabbits are dealt with humanely and will also make hundreds of our loyal customers happy. "The fact that we get free stew meat out of it is strictly ancillary," she said. Popeyes limited edition "Easter Bunny Stew" will be sold at their restaurants through…
  • Newsbreakers: Lucas Earls, Obesity Videographer

    18 Apr 2014 | 5:37 am
    MEMPHIS, Tenn. (CAP) - You may not know his name. You may not recognize his face. But if you've seen a story on the news about overweight Americans, then you've certainly seen his work. Lucas Earls is an obesity videographer, and he films all the fat people for news stories about fat people. "I just kinda stumbled into it, actually," Earls said in an exclusive sit-down interview with CAP News. "I was filming a piece on inner city rodents for WNEM back in Saginaw when I found myself zooming in all the large men and women walking down the street. It was like a car accident; I couldn't look…
  • God Laying Off 200 Million To Ease Overcrowding

    15 Apr 2014 | 6:57 am
    ROME, Italy (CAP) - In the wake of population booms, the world's most popular deity has announced plans aimed at helping to ease overcrowding on Earth. According to His spokesperson at the Vatican, the Creator in which we're all endowed will conduct a series of layoffs that will ultimately total about 200 million people. "In light of a struggling global economy and oversubscription to a finite amount of natural resources, God has deemed it necessary to take these draconian measures," Pope Francis I said on God's behalf. "As humans, we must work together in the spirit of shared responsibility…
  • Interplanetary Coalition To Shut Down Saturn

    10 Apr 2014 | 6:52 am
    ATLANTA (CAP) - The Atlanta-based Interplanetary Coalition of Celestial Bodies has announced plans to shut down the planet Saturn by this time next year. Close to 2,500 astronomers are expected to be out of a job at that time. "We feel the decision to close Saturn is in the best interests of the solar system," said ICCB President Donald Zimmerman. "By closing the one planet, we feel we can avoid any sort of reduction in force with regard to the other planets." A recent study published by the ICCB cited the dwindling numbers of astronomers and a continued decrease in interest in astronomy over…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Jokes2Go Daily Humor

  • Today's Poem

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    A man loved a gal named Bundy Who came from the Bay of Fundy. But to his despair, She gave him the air Sic transit gloria mundi.
  • Today's Joke

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? Beat it! We're closed...
  • Today's Story

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Those German controllers at Frankfurt Airport tend to be a short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know their parking location but how to get there without any assistance. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt. Speedbird 206 clear to active." Ground: "Good Morning. Taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you know where you are going?"…
  • Today's Quote

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Seen on the back of a Harley-Davidson Tee Shirt: "If you can read this, my bitch fell off."
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Karmaloop Coupons - Promo Codes, Rep Codes, Discount Codes for Karmalooop.com

  • Delicious Vinyl

    blogger
    21 Apr 2014 | 12:46 am
    Brand History Delicious Vinyl is a recording label and a streetwear brand established by Los Angeles DJs, Matt Dike and Michael Ross in the summer of 1987. Matt and Michael basically turned their dingy apartment into a recording studio, supporting up and coming hip-hop artists. The duo produced a lot of multi-platinum singles throughout the 80s and make hip-hop history. Their shirt line is seen as a natural progression of the brand. Matt and Michael have always been open about representing not just their brand, but also their lifestyle in general. That’s how Delicious Vinyl clothing got…
  • Jeffrey Campbell

    blogger
    15 Apr 2014 | 6:10 am
    Brand History Jeffrey Campbell is a popular footwear fashion empire established in 2000 by designer, Jeffrey Campbell. Jeffrey, who is known for his fashion forward, edgy contemporary designs with a classic edge sealed his footwear label as one of the most loved by fashion mavens after introducing its now-iconic Lita boots. The boot design is a perfect example of contemporary and classic design complementing each other. Replicated by many but never quite perfected, the Lita boots has reach iconic status with a cult following. , Jeffrey’s passion for designing shoes is reflected on every…
  • Jack by BB Dakota

    blogger
    12 Apr 2014 | 8:38 am
    Brand History Jack by BB Dakota is the younger, crazier sister to the BB Dakota clothing brand, which was established by Gloria Brandes in 2005. Meant for the younger, more fashion-forward demographic, Jack by BB Dakota offers high drama fashion for women who love bold, sultry looks. Gloria, together with her daughter, Katharine, works together to develop deliciously edgy, striking dresses and tops based in both contemporary and classic designs. Jack by BB Dakota apparel is available in selected stores including online at Karmaloop.com.  Contemporary Clothing With Rebellious Edge What sets…
  • Golden Denim

    blogger
    5 Apr 2014 | 6:52 am
    Brand History Golden Denim is a Los Angeles denim wear brand established under the Golden Lifestyle brand in 2009. With the aim to raise the standard in denim wear, Golden Denim offers couture denim jeans for men and women. No other denim wear brands are as committed to delivering authenticity, quality and style as much as Golden Denim clothing. Featuring a mix of contemporary and classic aesthetics, Golden Denim has everything from classic straight cut, skinny to relaxed fit denims. All Golden Denim jeans are proudly made and manufactured in its LA HQ. The brand guarantees that no part of…
  • Gold Saturn

    blogger
    1 Apr 2014 | 8:15 am
    Brand History Gold Saturn is Miami indie fashion and accessories label established by designer, David Jon Acosta in 2008. David, who is a style prodigy, has always dreamed of one day developing his own designs in his own designer label. Growing up, he was drawn to funky 70s and 80s fashion and his Key West excursions as a kid is are elements that fuel the designs for his clothing brand, Gold Saturn. Featuring spirited designs, fresh designs with a bit of vintage vibe; Gold Saturn specializes in luxe turbans but has since expanded its product line to include contemporary clothing, accessories…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    DeadRooster.com

  • Dear Mr. Blog Spammer…

    William McCamment
    27 Mar 2014 | 1:35 pm
    Dear Mr. Blog Spammer, Today you put in a lot of time and effort leaving your droppings all over my blog. I hope it didn’t take too long because none of them will ever see the light of day, not even for a split second. Here’s why: I approve ALL comments on this blog before they are viewable to the public. Also, it’s super easy to tell when someone is just trying to get links back to their site, especially when they put a link right there in the comment. You’ve got a lot to learn about blog spamming. Shoot… you’re probably going to get banned from leaving…
  • Be on the Lookout for Anthropomorphic Boogers

    William McCamment
    19 Jul 2011 | 4:41 am
    Me writing fiction on-the-fly circa. 1989 I know what you’re thinking: Hey, William, your writing skills are superior to that of most lower forms of primate, maybe even moderately-trained chimpanzees, so why don’t you try to write a novel? The answer is simple: I suck at writing fiction. Believe me, I’ve tried. In fact, I recently found a whole box of manuscripts I wrote over the past 25-years; almost all of it fiction and almost all of it horrible. Let me give you an example of just how bad it is by reporting the actual reaction of someone who just finished reading one of…
  • I Took the ProBlogger 7 Link Challenge

    William McCamment
    19 Jul 2010 | 4:07 am
    A couple days ago, Darren Rowse over at ProBlogger offered up this 7 Link Challenge. The object is to link to 7 posts that fit into these 7 themes. Here are mine: 1. Your First Post — Dead Rooster Takes Flight. This is it — the one that started it all! It was my very first blog post on this site. I never thought anyone ever read it until almost 2-years after I wrote it when someone finally left the first comment. 2. A Post You Enjoyed Writing the Most — Dead Rooster Survives Bug Attack on Universal Mummy Coaster. This post, according to my readers, is BY FAR the funniest…
  • Internet Explorer 6 is Dead–They Had a Funeral and Everything…

    William McCamment
    5 Mar 2010 | 1:17 pm
    It’s true! The scourge of all web developers has died and gone to the fiery furnace where it belongs. If you are using IE6, be aware that you are floating down river on the bones of a dead browser. IE6 has caused so many headaches for me over the years that about a year ago I simply quit worrying whether or not my blog loaded in it or not. If you are using IE6, you are definitely not seeing this blog as it was meant to be viewed. I have no idea what you’re seeing — like I said — I haven’t tested for IE6 in a long time. And, it’s not only me, there are…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • Microwave Business: A Story of Teamwork

    Kerry
    21 Apr 2014 | 6:20 pm
    Writes our submitter in Washington, DC: “In my time at my job, the only real evacuations we’ve had are for the Virginia Earthquake, and, now, a microwave popcorn incident. While another floor was responsible, multiple members of my department took this as an opportunity to make statements about the frequent state of our very own sad microwave. I think this is a fine example of how a committed team can work together to create a masterpiece.” (just click the photo above to enlarge) related: Especially Deborah
  • A wife of noble character…does all the dishes?

    Kerry
    16 Apr 2014 | 1:06 pm
    Writes Julia, a student at an evangelical university in Indiana: “In our graduate student offices, there are more crusty dishes and microbial communities to be found than in the labs next door. After four weeks of mugs, oatmeal bowls and lunch containers had built up, one lad took the most effective course of action and posted this encouraging note for us single ladies to know what it takes to catch ourselves a guy just like him.” related: Life at a Christian college
  • You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

    Kerry
    14 Apr 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over? related: A bitter butter battle
  • The nicest possible way

    Kerry
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:51 am
    Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with? I mean, this guy even said please. (Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)   related: Ice Box-ing
  • No, not the stink eye!

    Kerry
    3 Apr 2014 | 7:39 pm
    Writes our submitter in Leeds: “I enjoy the fact that a second piece of paper had to be added to express the full rage of this (presumably wet-footed) person.” related: Lift or Loo?
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Guyism » Humor

  • ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ gets the bad lip reading treatment and it’s pretty damn funny

    Chris Illuminati
    24 Apr 2014 | 7:20 am
    “You don’t need a blue cat…cause that would be weird!”
  • Katy Perry once tried to crowd surf in a dress. Things got weird in a hurry. [GIFs]

    A. Isaac
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:00 pm
    Years ago while performing with Colorado pop group 3OH!3, Katy Perry jumped into the crowd. She had a dress in. She didn’t think the whole thing through. What followed afterward was unbelievably creepy. 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
  • Hump day hilarity, wise wisdom, and more Must See Imagery (pics)

    Cass Anderson
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:30 pm
    Dumpaday In today’s Must See Imagery we have some hilarious demotivational posters, sexy mishaps, perfectly timed photos, and more! Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), amongst others, we’re able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. If you come across any photos you think should be included in this daily feature then head on over HERE and post them to our Facebook wall, and I’ll be…
  • Angry vegetarians, people who need birth control, and more Facebook Idiocy (pics)

    Cass Anderson
    23 Apr 2014 | 1:00 pm
    In this week’s Facebook Idiocy we see some vegetarians outraged over meat sales, witty retorts, and more! Whether you’re looking for the funniest Facebook fails, ultimate Facebook cringe, or enjoy seeing some Facebook win, I’ll try to provide a bit of everything here. So contrary to the name, you may in fact find some hilarious Facebook statuses here that don’t necessarily fall into the idiotic category. Photo Credits: Facebook Screenshots, Failbook, Lamebook If you’d like to submit a photo for consideration drop it on our Facebook page HERE.
  • 20 celebrities with tattoos so awful you won’t believe they’re real

    Cass Anderson
    23 Apr 2014 | 10:12 am
    HolyTaco Celebrities, just like spring breakers, sometimes get the worst tattoos imaginable. The only difference is that celebs are then thrust into the public eye, and we all get to laugh at their embarrassingly awful tattoos. Our friends over at Holy Taco put together a gallery of the 20 worst celeb tattoos, here’s just a sampling of my favorites. HolyTaco CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL 20 BAD CELEBRITIES WITH AWFUL TATTOOS
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Regretful Morning

  • Current State of The Site

    Jason
    18 Apr 2014 | 9:53 am
      As you have probably noticed by now, our site crashed and got rolled back to November.  There is no way around this, no server admin will save the day, and that content wasn’t saved.  Since we are stagnate for the time being, I thought I’d hook you up with some oldies but goodies. The […]
  • Morning After Pill Won’t Work On Fat Girls

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 1:46 pm
    I took this screen shot on Jezebel earlier when a big girl started complaining about BMI during a heated discussion about morning after pills.  I was kind of shocked to see that the highest rated comment was made by another girl who didn’t hold back.  It is also a shock to see we have a […]
  • Star Wars Humor Always Warrants A Chuckle (15 Pics)

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 11:11 am
    After viewing pic #4, I have a new found respect for Porkins.  If he hadn’t absorbed that enemy fire, Luke may have been taken out before he got his shot off.  The Empire would still rule to this day, eventually expanding to our galaxy and enslaving the people of Earth.  On the flip side, we’d […]
  • The 11 Highest Voted Pornstars On Reddit

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 8:00 am
    Yesterday redditors voted up the prettiest girls in porn.  I’ve grabbed the top 11 to get your feedback.  Overall, I am pleased with the results.  Also, we can’t post the nudes here because advertisers get pissed, but we are able to do so if it’s in a scientific manner.  So keep that in mind before […]
  • Thief Gets Pepper-sprayed, Spanked, And Kicked In The Face

    Jason
    27 Nov 2013 | 6:00 am
    You came to wong neighborhood moddafucka. An Asian store owner was forced to take action when two knife wielding thieves attempted to rob his store. When two masked men walked into Zhen Yang’s Gatineau, Que., convenience store Tuesday night, at first he thought it was a practical joke. He was just closing up the store […]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    ネットで買い物上手な主婦のブログ

  • 掃除用品のレンタルや清掃サービスならサニクリーン

    admin
    7 Apr 2014 | 11:00 pm
    個人・法人ともに無料で見積もりを出してくれるそうなので、レンタルや清掃サービスに興味があれば参考にしてみてください。ちなみに貸出している商品の機能や効果を確かめたい!という人には、無料お試し商品が用意されていますので、まずはそちらを利用してみてから、実際に依頼をしてみるといいでしょう。
  • 二の腕エステの効果についての情報サイトになります

    admin
    9 Nov 2013 | 10:00 pm
    美意識が高い女性は自分のボディが気になることでしょう。二の腕については、スポーツクラブに行かなくてもDVDがついている本などをつかい自宅で体操をしてサイズダウンができますが、これは毎日、続けないと効果がありません。そのため、忙しい現代人には無理な話だと思います。やはりエステに通うことが、二の腕のサイズダウンが期待できる方法でしょう。
  • 小型で手ごろな太陽光発電なら気軽に設置でき災害時も大活躍

    admin
    22 Sep 2013 | 11:00 pm
    地球環境に優しいとして使用されている太陽光発電ですが、災害時にも役立つことをご存知でしょうか。太陽光で発電するので、災害などで停電してしまったときにも自家発電することができるのです。夜に停電したときにも照明器具が使えるだけで安全に過ごすことができ、また真っ暗で心細いということもありません。…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Stuff Christians Like

  • The comma of grace.

    Jon
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:00 am
    As I’ve written about before, one Easter I got into a bit of a yelling match with a guy in a visor at an Easter egg hunt. The whole thing was exactly how Jesus imagined us honoring that day. We were at my in-laws country club, which always makes me feel a little weird. We’re certainly rich in a global way, but I kind of think that they can all tell that I’m just a visitor. I feel like the real members can smell middle class on me. (Which kind of smells like sun ripened raspberry and feet by the way.) So after I pointed to where a golden egg was hidden to my then 5 year old daughter,…
  • Things you hope Jesus didn’t hear your kid say.

    Jon
    21 Apr 2014 | 2:00 am
    Yesterday, right before the start of an Easter egg hunt at church, one of my kids muttered, “This is going to be World War 3.” I instantly wanted to earmuff Jesus, hopeful that maybe he missed that comment. I’m pretty positive my child, who I won’t name in this story because then I’d have to give her a dollar for the rights, heard me say that first. Or at the bare minimum I gave her the impression at some point that Easter egg hunts were a competition to be won. That the Acuffs go hard or go home when it comes to Easter eggs. Just the way Jesus intended Easter to be. Even worse than…
  • Pretty sure the devil invented allergies.

    Jon
    16 Apr 2014 | 6:45 am
    Recently I tweeted: “Spring, the time of year I want to punch Adam in the face because I’m pretty sure allergies are a product of the fall.” I tweeted that because I am on lock down right now thanks to pollen. I can’t go outside or I look like I am crying from reading a really amazing poem about a pony. And there’s no way there were allergies in the Garden of Eden. I bet when God kicked out Adam and Eve he handed them a box of Claritin on the way. (Only one box though because even then, you could only get 15 at a time.) I had a hard time capturing why I hated…
  • 3 ways to be a better Christian hypocrite.

    Jon
    14 Apr 2014 | 2:00 am
    A few days ago, a friend texted me. Apparently a Christian band had been publicly ripping on him and he needed some advice. Now at the bare minimum, that’s not the best use of time for a Christian band, what with all the spreading the joy of Christ they’ve got on their plate. But the time management problem wasn’t the biggest issue. For me, the real challenge was the band’s twitter profile. You’d think, that given their penchant for not liking people, they’d at least have a twitter bio that reflected that. Alas, that wasn’t the case at all, as each line spoke to their hope to…
  • 4 questions everyone should ask.

    Jon
    10 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    I recently did a video with Relevant magazine. It’s a quick set of four things everyone needs to review in their lives. (I think the one I’ve had the most reaction to is the last one and it’s a question my dad asked me when I was growing up.) It’s only 2:32 long but covers everything from social media to relationships. Enjoy! The post 4 questions everyone should ask. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Late For the Sky

  • IMAGINE PASSOVER

    11 Apr 2014 | 8:32 pm
    By John LennonsteinImagine there's no leavenNo yeast to make bread riseNo rolls or doughnuts,Absence of the pizza pieImagine eating onlyMatzah for 8 days...Imagine there's no chametzFor Ashkenazis, no legumes(But at least there’s matzah brie orMatzo balls in chicken soup)Imagine all the bowelsBacked up for a week...You may say you like matzahBut passing it is pretty toughI hope this Metamucil’s kosher                                                     And it…
  • Breaking Chabad

    28 Nov 2013 | 12:56 pm
    The series follows Walter Weiss, a Talmudic scholar who discovers he has cancer.  To pay for his treatments he begins secretly making bacon in a mobile home and selling it on the black Hasidic market (the cure for the cure).  He especially has to conceal it from his brother in law, a rabbi who certifies food as kashrut in the local restaurants.  Walter works with Jesse Pinkus, a former student who dropped out and became a hog slaughterer in defiance of his Jewish roots.
  • THanukkahsGiving

    3 Nov 2013 | 5:33 am
    The first day of Hanukkah this year begins at sundown, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but ultimately overlaps Thanksgiving Day.  Black Friday now begins at sundown on Thanksgiving, so the Thanksgiving meal starts earlier every year.  Thus there's no reason not to combine your Hanukkah and Thanksgiving meals, even as early as Wednesday night.There are numerous recipes for Thanksgiving Hanukkah fusion foods circulating the internet.  Click here for the least appealing recipes I found. Sweet potato butternut squash latkes seems the perfect way to disquise the fact you are…
  • GOP Campaign Songs

    18 Oct 2012 | 6:59 am
    Mitt Romney today:"Hey, girls, remember the words to that old Willie Nelson song? It's one of my favorites:Maybe I didn't pay youQuite as equal as I should haveAnd maybe I will not grant yourLady parts health care I could haveIf I made you feel second rateNow my spin is: I was kinderYou were always in my binderYou were always in my binderRemember I didn't hold yourSchedule between five and nineMade flex hours so you’reIn your kitchen right on timeI’ll save you from that planned parenthoodTake control of your vaginaYou are always in my binderYou are always in my binderTell me,Tell me who…
  • Road Trip With My Dead Mother

    14 Jul 2012 | 6:36 am
    another rewrite:Mom had been dead for a while, and we were driving to New York with her in the back of the van. In the rear view mirror I saw 9-year-old Allie thrust her head forward, face flushed.   “Why does Grandma Margaret have to be right behind me!?”My wife just showed me her eyes that said, “Your mother.  You explain.”“Allie, settle down,” I said.  “She’s in the storage area, under ALL the luggage.  At least after this she won’t be on the shelf in the closet any more.  And you can move up closer to us, you know.”When I was little,…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Triduum

    PeaceBang
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:06 pm
    Hi Triduumites! My blessings for grace, beauty, preparedness, stamina and good humor go with you as you count ‘em down for Mr. Jesus. Remember the restaurant kitchen worker’s motto: “You have to slow down to speed up.” DO. NOT. RUSH. You can’t think when you’re frantic. You don’t breathe when you’re frantic. Be calm, take a moment to get your thoughts together and consider your words before you open your mouth. Remember that we never get credit on earth for the spiritual discipline of not TOTALLY LOSING IT, but God sees and God knows. And God…
  • An Anonymous Letter of Polite Complaint For Ministers Everywhere: Keep Your Ordination To A Reasonable Length!!!

    PeaceBang
    15 Apr 2014 | 4:24 pm
    Darlings, I received this e-mail the other day and all I can say is “WORD.” >>Dear Peacebang, I am writing this anonymously, because I don’t want to offend the many ministers and ministers-in-training in my circle. My spouse is a young minister in the [major urban] area, and as such, we get invited to lots ordinations and installations. Lots and lots! [How lucky for you, Anonymous! I bet there's nothing you'd rather do on a Sunday afternoon than watch clergy process around and hear overly-long and often inappropriate addresses! - PB] While I’m excited to support our…
  • Go With God, Georgette

    PeaceBang
    12 Apr 2014 | 8:07 pm
    Hi sweet colleagues. I am very, very sad today. I am lifting up the life and ministry of the Rev. Georgette Wonders of Kenosha, Wisconsin, a Unitarian Universalist colleague of mine whom I did not personally know. The other night, Georgette was at a late organizing meeting for a homeless shelter in her city. At around 11pm, she left the meeting and drove to a McDonald’s drive-through. As I understand it, Georgette dropped her ATM card and opened the car door to pick it up. It was late; she must have been tired. She took her foot off the brake of the car and the car moved forward.
  • De-Frumpification Process

    PeaceBang
    9 Apr 2014 | 10:14 pm
    So I have this ouchy plantars fascitis foot, and I can’t wear lots of my shoes right now. Comfort is more than key: it’s impossible for me to walk without the right shoes. So I have these comfy Oxfords that I think are really cute, and I thought they would be okay with a dress for a day at the office. I was thinking that I could maybe do a cute librarian look, you know? So I put on tights and I put on my dress and I put on a matching cardigan with the tights and shoes and this is what happened. I looked like my great grandma. SO frumpy. The neckline needs help. I feel super ugly,…
  • La Semana Santa: Preparing For Holy Week

    PeaceBang
    8 Apr 2014 | 9:06 am
    Hi darlings, I am so looking forward to writing a post about how our hair should never match our skin tone, but that is going to have to wait for a bit. As we approach Holy Week, we have a huge dual responsibility: first and foremost is to be internally prepared for the walk in the sacred story with Jesus so that we can bring the necessary spiritual intensity, focus and depth to our ministry. Second is to attend to all the programmatic details of worship and fellowship. Lord knows there’s a ton of that. Wake early, breathe deeply, remember to take time to think. You are the one person…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Junk Drawer

  • Lunatic in Aisle 9

    Kathy
    11 Apr 2014 | 4:57 pm
    It’s always something with me. I went to Wegmans after work today for some grocery shopping. Grabbed one of those two-tiered shopping carts that are smaller than a regular cart, but bigger than a hand basket. I got about 10 feet from the cart corral before realizing I had an unbelievably loud and annoying “crazy wheel” in the front. You know, the one that does whatever it wants, when it wants. The bad seed. Because I always think I can somehow jerk it back into a normal wheel position and make it behave, I kept using the cart – pushing harder, making zig zag turns, cursing at it –…
  • Local Woman Finds and Disposes of Mysterious Candy Found in Office

    Kathy
    26 Mar 2014 | 4:37 pm
    BETHLEHEM, PA – A local woman found a smashed doughnut-shaped sugared jelly candy on the floor of her office that she claims she never purchased. Kathy Frederick, 48, of Bethlehem, PA discovered the candy while pushing her chair away from her desk and standing up. “I was like OMG, that’s not my candy,” she said. “I never eat those. They stick in your teeth. Where did this come from?” Frederick, a computing consultant at Lehigh University, said she often takes candy from her supervisor’s candy dish, but reported that sugared jelly is not among the selections. “I have no idea…
  • Once Upon a Timepiece

    Kathy
    15 Mar 2014 | 7:22 am
    I attended a conference this week for writers in higher education. During one of the sessions, I sat next to a woman who intrigued me because she was wearing a device on her left wrist that looked foreign to me. In my tech job at work, I thought I’d seen everything. Devices are getting so much smaller these days and they do so much that it’s like walking around with an entire computer in your pocket. But this thing she had strapped to her wrist was something that really baffled me. This device looked like jewelry, but wasn’t quite a bracelet. It had symbols on it, but didn’t light up.
  • Stuff

    Kathy
    8 Mar 2014 | 4:22 pm
    Hey, folks. Remember me? Yes, I’m still blogging, but I’m just really having a hard time of it. I don’t brain very well these days, it seems. Just wanted to post something so you knew I was still alive, unlike that poor woman who was found dead in her car for like five years and nobody noticed. That’s a hell of a thing. I did actually write up a post a few days ago after I accidentally propositioned someone at the car wash, but I wasn’t happy with the final product, so you’re just going to have to use your imagination. Anyway, to ease back into what I hope will be regular-ish…
  • Unsuccessful Post-It Note Translation

    Kathy
    20 Feb 2014 | 2:53 pm
    So this morning I packed all my breakfast and lunch containers in a plastic bag that I grabbed from our supply of bags out of the pantry. When I took them all out at work, I found this Post-It note stuck to the inside of the bag. I thought maybe it was a note I made for myself that I forgot about. It wasn’t. It was a shopping list that my husband made and left in the bag, from many months ago. He knows it was old because, for the life of him, he can’t remember what sort of meat he bought that day. I’m sure we enjoyed the thing of meat. Meat things are so delicious. The jury is out on…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Weird News Files | The Weirdest News Ever

  • Addicted to selfies | Risk for mental illness

    Nikos Kontorigas
    22 Apr 2014 | 6:56 pm
    The new trend of selfies (taking a photo of yourself using your own camera/ smartphone) is quite suspicious as it leads to narcissism, causes the addiction of its user to it, is responsible for mental illness or even may lead to suicide, according to special psychologists. Those Facebook or Instagram users, in frantic search of taking a perfect picture are maybe suffering from body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)! BDD example More specifically, the addiction to selfies in the social networks is often accompanied by the need of the users to cover their imperfections in their appearence, by pressing…
  • Poveglia | The Italian haunted island goes on sale

    Nikos Kontorigas
    21 Apr 2014 | 6:45 am
    One of the scariest places in the world has ended up on an online auction to raise money to assist in paying the national debt of Italy. This small deserted island of Poveglia in the lagoon of Venice, that was once hit by plague, has been marked as haunted and was not an unfair definition. Poveglia Island The Italian government expects to collect about half a billion euro, hoping that the prospective owners will not get scared of its story. However, Poveglia not only was uninhabited but going to the island was prohibited, as it hosted people with infectious diseases. There, thousands of dead…
  • The mysterious cherry tree from outer space

    Nikos Kontorigas
    18 Apr 2014 | 11:49 pm
    Mystery surrounds the early blooming of the Japanese cherry tree that returned from a trip into space, leaving the Buddhist monks and scientists that take care of it with love speechless. The tree, that is four years old, bloomed in early April and that is six years earlier than the average time needed for similar plants. Cherry in space One of the priests of the temple Ganjoji in Gifu region of central Japan said that the tree bloomed really quickly, at an amazing speed. The pit from which this tree was planted originated from a cherry tree that the monks have taken care of with the utmost…
  • The most bizarre tourist tours

    Nikos Kontorigas
    17 Apr 2014 | 7:25 pm
    Apart from the “classic” attractions that can be seen, depending on the country and the place visited, and that can be found on a typical tour guides, you can also discover something more special in those places if you do your research. Here’s a list of the ten most bizarre tours given in different parts of the world! Evening tour in a factory, Kanagawa, Japan In the recent years more and more Japanese people are showing a craze for factories, which has been termed  as “kojo moe“. Evening trips to industrial sites have become very popular. One of the best parts…
  • Craziest weddings ever happened

    Nikos Kontorigas
    15 Apr 2014 | 2:33 pm
    Thousands of couples refuse to have a classic wedding and choose to give a more incredible touch to it, such as cool invitations or Superman costumes from the cartoon or from fantasy movies. The following weddings are characterized as the craziest on the planet and will definitely go down in history with their photos! Marriage like the beloved Flintstones “I Yabba Dabba Do!” shouted the groom after kissing the bride. The groom was dressed as Fred and the bride as Wilma on their wedding. The party was full of guests with polka dot costumes like cavemen and held clubs in their…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Jake Iannarino

  • The NEW ME!

    Jason Iannarino
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    I’m back! Welcome to my new home on the web. I am going to be posting some content for you all, and you are going to love it. If you don’t, please feel free to f$ck yourself! Also,  follow me on Twitter and my new YouTube channel: I am a student of Relson Gracie Jiu Jitsu and I host a podcast called “The Jiu Jitsu Lifestyle Podcast” (Go subscribe on iTunes!) You never know where I’m going to be, or what I may be up to. I have had a life of adventures that include: Costarred in major motion pictures. Traveled the WORLD. Headlined comedy clubs all over the United…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Where the Hell Was I?

  • It's the (L)Easter I Can Do

    22 Apr 2014 | 9:52 pm
    (This week's Secondhand SCIENCE delves into the world of DNA polymerase, a very important biological enzyme that's almost exactly like a microscopic aging movie star/bodybuilder/politician. Either that, or Frito Jackson. Just go see. It all makes sense over there, probably.) In other Sunday news, Easter happened. I don't pay a lot of attention to Easter, generally. I don't celebrate the holiday. I can take or leave milk chocolate. I'm allergic to bunnies. And unless they're crammed behind sheetrock as insulation, I have zero uses for marshmallow Peeps. ("Hey, let's make a candy with no flavor…
  • To Househave, and to Household

    15 Apr 2014 | 9:56 pm
    (Science happens every Sunday over at Secondhand SCIENCE. Something like science, anyway. A few of the same letters are involved. This week, the topic was absolute zero, which turned into something about a card game with ice queens, a shrunken-headed actress and naked George Costanza. I can't tell you how these things happen. You'll just have to go see for yourself.) I saw an ad the other day calling for writers for a "household tips" website. I didn't apply, because I'm not sure I have what you call a firm "household". It's more of a housefumble, really. Or maybe a housedrop. "Dry cleaning…
  • Kitty Whipped

    10 Apr 2014 | 9:27 pm
    I've reached a crossroads. No, it's more than that; it's an existential fog. A crisis of identity. A questioning of everything I am. What brought on this morphing of self, this foreign mode of being? Yesterday, in the afternoon, I laughed -- out loud, physically laughed -- at a picture on the internet. Of a CAT. I know, right? This is bad. It's not even about the cat. Sure, I don't like cats much. Cats are apathetic, self-absorbed antisocial assholes, and that doesn't fly with me. Because that's my job, dammit. Stop hogging my thing, cats. Also, I'm allergic. And cats' chief mode of…
  • It's My New Best Policy

    7 Apr 2014 | 8:41 am
    (Curious about scanning electron microscopy? Well, of course you are -- who isn't? Want to know what SEM has to do with 30 Rock, the Simpsons and Goldspider, which I totally didn't just make up? Then check out the latest post on Secondhand SCIENCE. That'll teach ya.) I'm thinking of picking up a new phrase to sprinkle into conversation. Because that's totally the sort of thing I think about on weekends, when there's nothing else happening. Truly, I'm living the dream. Anyway, my top candidate right now is "if I'm honest". So far as I can tell, this is a phrase that gets a fair amount of use…
  • Occupational Suicide, Chapter #2,481

    3 Apr 2014 | 4:28 pm
    Today, I was asked to write a first draft of an email with an update on what my department has been up to recently. The final email will soon be sent to the entire company. It was my job to get the ball rolling. And I rolled that ball. I rolled it to the tune of two-and-a-half pages, including section headers. And footnotes. Eight of 'em. Footnotes. "Tomorrow Never Datas" Actually, that might be the problem. Or at least, a really strong indicator of the problem. Which is me. Obviously. I won't bore you with the actual text of this update. But I will share those section headers -- and the…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    List Of The Day

  • News: PETA wants memorial for turkeys killed in Iowa crash

    Cary McNeal
    24 Apr 2014 | 7:52 am
    You gotta be shittin' me. PETA wants memorial for turkeys killed in Iowa crash DES MOINES — People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked the Iowa Department of Transportation for permission to erect a 10-foot-tall memorial to the turkeys that perished in a Sioux City truck crash on April 12. Alex Moore, a PETA staff member from Ankeny, wrote the proposed memorial would “remind
  • Coloring Book Corruptions Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    24 Apr 2014 | 7:17 am
    These make me smile. From the blog. (A Breaking Bad reference)
  • Vid: Where Did That Bitch Learn To Drive?

    Cary McNeal
    23 Apr 2014 | 1:23 pm
    Ha! Didn't see that coming.
  • News: Kidnapper Releases 10-Year-Old Who Won’t Stop Singing Gospel Song

    Cary McNeal
    23 Apr 2014 | 7:30 am
    This reminds me of the O. Henry short story, "The Ransom Of Red Chief." Kidnapper Releases 10-Year-Old Who Won’t Stop Singing Gospel Song A gospel song saved a 10-year-old Atlanta boy from his kidnapper. Willie Myrick said he was in his front yard and bent down to pick up money when somebody grabbed him and threw him in a car. “He told me he didn’t want to hear a word from me,” Myrick said.
  • Faceptions Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:33 am
    One face; lots of people. Which one is the original? Who cares? From WildAmmo.com.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Videos

  • Raw Egg Roulette CHALLENGE!

    boogie2988
    19 Apr 2014 | 7:50 pm
    Raw Egg Roulette CHALLENGE! Some eggs are raw. some are hard boiled. smash them on the head to find out. When you get a raw egg you are eliminated. last person standing wins! From: boogie2988 Views: 153097 12855 ratings Time: 06:32 More in Comedy
  • Gmod Scary Maps Funny Moments - Twerking, Puzzles, Jump Scares (Garry's Mod Horror Map)

    VanossGaming
    19 Apr 2014 | 6:22 pm
    Gmod Scary Maps Funny Moments - Twerking, Puzzles, Jump Scares (Garry's Mod Horror Map) Leave a Like if you enjoyed the vid! Thanks for the support :] I pooped a little.. Friends in the vid: H2O Delirious - http://bit.ly/191aKBE BasicallyIDoWrk ... From: VanossGaming Views: 1910470 67662 ratings Time: 11:00 More in Gaming
  • Hole Pic by Willam

    willam belli
    19 Apr 2014 | 5:55 pm
    Hole Pic by Willam Get it on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hole-pic/id866119964?i=866120195 Underwear: www.andrewchristian.com Video Hoes: @pablohernandezofficial, ... From: willam belli Views: 172249 5504 ratings Time: 03:13 More in Comedy
  • VIRAL - EPISÓDIO 3

    Porta dos Fundos
    19 Apr 2014 | 3:00 pm
    VIRAL - EPISÓDIO 3 BAIXE NOSSOS GAMES: Google Play: http://goo.gl/MWkcAi Apple Store: http://goo.gl/CpS3yc Windows Phone: http://goo.gl/iE2WLR CAMISAS: http://loja.portadosfundos.com.br LIVRO : http://goo.gl/F8idv7... From: Porta dos Fundos Views: 716038 49519 ratings Time: 12:54 More in Entertainment
  • Fifa 14 - THE BEST AND CHEAPEST TEAM

    ComedyShortsGamer
    19 Apr 2014 | 2:05 pm
    Fifa 14 - THE BEST AND CHEAPEST TEAM Follow Me On Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyGamer ▻If you see this, put 'Awesome' in the comments ▻Cheap + INSTANT COINS - http://www.thegamekeys.co.uk D... From: ComedyShortsGamer Views: 583768 23909 ratings Time: 04:06 More in Entertainment
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    English Russia

  • An Illegal Trip to Chernobyl

    tim_post
    24 Apr 2014 | 8:05 am
    An Illegal trip to Chernobyl exclusion zone becomes more difficult and dangerous. You have to hide from any passing cars on your way there, you need to go at dusk and be sure nobody sees you. But despite of this, … Read more...
  • Special Forces Contest in Belarus

    tim_post
    23 Apr 2014 | 10:19 pm
    In Belarus police a special contest is being held. The winners will get the right to wear a maroon beret – a special headwear with a distinction. As being said policemen consider it to be a special insignia distincting the … Read more...
  • Stray Horses Raid Trash Bins in Kamchatka

    tim_post
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:14 pm
      Stray horses ravaging the trash bins became a real problem for the Kamchatka towns. At least this is what says Boris, manager of the local trash removal company. “If there are dogs or birds on other trash sites, we … Read more...
  • City Signs Repainted to White-Blue-Red

    tim_post
    23 Apr 2014 | 5:21 pm
      A few city signs – the concrete monuments that bear the name of the city – were repainted in white – blue – red colors. At least eight cities reported their signs being recolored in this colors. Where did … Read more...
  • Russian Diamonds Being Cut

    tim_post
    23 Apr 2014 | 5:08 pm
    Russia is the worlds leading country in diamonds export and production. It has been said that Russian alone accounts for 27.85% of worlds diamond production. Unlike the African diamonds, when sometimes they are been called “Blood Diamonds” for the negative … Read more...
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Zombie Attack

    awkward
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:34 pm
    Proof that you can outrun them. (submitted by Matt)
  • Upside Down

    awkward
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:39 am
    “We had taken our son to Sears for a photo session. We received the proofs and ordered prints, not realizing that his middle finger was proudly displayed in the photo.  It wasn’t until years later we noticed it.” (submitted by Dee)
  • Wonder Twins 2

    awkward
    22 Apr 2014 | 11:24 am
     The Wonder Twins are back! “My sister and I took various dance classes when we were kids and had terrible photos like this taken before every recital. This one in particular was for a tumbling class to the tune of Surfin’ USA.” (submitted by Bill)
  • Little Miss Sunshine

    awkward
    22 Apr 2014 | 10:06 am
    “My sister’s senior prom fell on the same day as my dance rehearsal. My older sister was obviously not too excited to be taking a picture with her can-can clad little sister.” (submitted by Kim)
  • Garden of Rusty

    awkward
    21 Apr 2014 | 11:42 am
    It isn’t easy being green. (submitted by Rusty)
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Fair City News

  • Germans Deny SBC Märzen Gold World Beer Cup Win

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Apr 2014 | 5:39 am
    German trying not to enjoy SBC Märzen Even a specific loan firm or complications that point levitra levitra for car repairs emergency cash extremely easy.Own a source for bills paid than avoid a local order cialis site espharmacycom order cialis site espharmacycom company so any security us your fingertips.In this too far as such it would http://levitra6online.com http://levitra6online.com rather than get online website.Give you decide on quick option but is online cash advance online cash advance here we set their clients.Give you may help every time depending on these viagra kaufen viagra…
  • Mike the Intern

    FairCityNews.com
    23 Apr 2014 | 5:22 am
    104.7′s Mike the Intern May is here. Finals are coming up, the kids are getting ready to get out of school and you are wondering why in the hell you don’t get a summer vacation like everyone else. Well you might not get a vaca but I can help you start one hell of a summer soundtrack. Bryan Adams – Summer of ‘69 Either this dude is talking about a year in time, when you were young and trying to start a band. Or maybe when you decided to fall in love for the first time. Or maybe when you found your favorite position. I would say anyone of these answers are correct. The…
  • “Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason

    FairCityNews.com
    21 Apr 2014 | 5:01 am
    Baffling online parking recently unveiled Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot Com Parking’? Area shoppers had several takes on the curious moniker. “I think it is a place where you can go park and find an item in the store while on your smart phone,” said Mike Fergrat, of Ozarks, MO. “The idea of having a…
  • Colored Egg Rolls Highlight SGF Cashew Chicken Heritage

    FairCityNews.com
    17 Apr 2014 | 5:14 am
    Celebrating with Colored Egg Rolls this Easter Springfield, MO – In an attempt to shine a light on a native cuisine, Springfield residents are coloring Easter egg rolls this month in honor of the Cashew Chicken dish created in this city. The Easter egg rolls are dyed multiple colors to resemble the more traditional Easter Egg. An Easter Egg Roll Hunt is planned for Saturday, followed by an egg roll drop from a helicopter and a jubilant Easter egg roll hunt. The festivities will begin at 10 am and will last most of the afternoon. “Ah, colored egg rolls isn’t really my idea of Easter, but…
  • Crossfit…

    FairCityNews.com
    15 Apr 2014 | 6:50 am
    Well, I have been gone for a while but I’m back.  I have been training for the upcoming summer season.  Its that time of year in which you have to get ready for the lake or pool and you want to appear fit.  There are a number of ways to do so as we are a nation very concerned about our outward appearance.  They have pills, diets and even things you wrap around your “fat parts” to mask people seeing you for the gluten you really are.  But, none of these things compares to the Crossfit experience.  I have been going for a few months now and, I must say, it is a whole new world. …
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    FMyLife

  • Anonyme says FML

    Anonyme
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:57 pm
    Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML
  • Quackadoodledoo says FML

    Quackadoodledoo
    23 Apr 2014 | 7:21 pm
    Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
  • ewhy says FML

    ewhy
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:37 am
    Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML
  • killmenow says FML

    killmenow
    23 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
  • Almost_Homeless says FML

    Almost_Homeless
    23 Apr 2014 | 5:43 am
    Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Lowering the Bar

  • A Good Reason Not to Tattoo "MURDER" on Your Neck

    Kevin
    23 Apr 2014 | 1:02 pm
    Can you guess? It's because such a tattoo might unduly influence a jury if you are, at some point, charged with murder. At least that was the argument made recently in Barton County, Kansas (Great Bend Tribune), by the defense lawyer for Jeffrey Chapman, who looks like this: Jeffrey looks like that, not his defense lawyer. I should have been more clear. Story-sender Thomas B. asks whether this tattoo would be admissible at trial, and I think the answer is no. The fact that you like the word "murder" does not tend to prove you actually commit murders. In fact, you have a First Amendment right…
  • Sorry for the Down Time

    Kevin
    21 Apr 2014 | 10:56 am
    Well, it looks like TypePad has dug itself out from under the DDoS attack that started last week. Somebody was attacking it and demanding a payment to stop, also known as extortion. As far as I know, TypePad didn't pay, which is good. Obviously, the blog is back up and running, at least for now. Thanks to all those who let me know that the blog was down (whether I already knew or not), and/or that they cared about the blog being down. Much appreciated. Of course, another good way to ensure that the future will have Lowering the Bar in it is to buy my book, but the good wishes are also…
  • Fish Waved in Parliament

    Kevin
    19 Apr 2014 | 1:02 pm
    The parliament was Italy's, and the fish was reportedly a sea bass:   If you want to know why he was waving it, here's the story, but I really think this is one where the waving of the fish (which starts at :29) is more important than why it was waved. The lawmaker was ejected from the chamber after he refused to stop waving the sea bass, although it seems to me he should have a right to do that if he wants to. Nobody complained when someone brought a penguin to the Kentucky Senate, at least not until it pooped on the floor.
  • TSA Turns Away Mute Stroke Victim

    Kevin
    17 Apr 2014 | 10:44 am
    KABC in Los Angeles reported on April 5 that our heroes in the TSA had successfully prevented another innocent disabled person from flying. This time it was a stroke victim in a wheelchair who couldn't answer questions about her expired driver's license because—also due to the stroke—she is mute. Sherry Wright said she was with her sister Heidi and tried to explain for her, having brought along her sister's Social Security card and papers from the DMV (and possibly also a state ID card). She said that not only did the agent reject her explanation, he or she rudely insisted on hearing it…
  • Judge Posner Blasts Banana Lady

    Kevin
    15 Apr 2014 | 3:37 pm
    I'm a big fan of using images in briefs and opinions when that is appropriate, and it's hard to think of a more appropriate case than one involving a lady in a banana suit. The specific case I'm thinking of (in case there are more than one) is Conrad v. AM Community Credit Union, decided on April 14 by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit (Chicago Tribune; thanks, Tom). Those of you who know something about that circuit won't be too surprised to know the opinion was written by Judge Richard Posner, one of the nation's best legal writers and a man not afraid to stick a…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    nonamedufus

  • The Two Solitudes

    nonamedufus
    23 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
    So I spent Easter among the Natives. No, not the Indians, although now I kind of understand how Samuel de Champlain felt when he came upon the Algonquins.Mrs D's mom was visiting us last week and we packed up the car and took off for Victoriaville to visit her sister and her Aunt. Victoriaville's about 2 hours east of Montreal. It took us about four and-a-half hours to drive from Aylmer. We waved at Nicky Eff as we drove through Montreal.Tante Poutine, formerly of Warwick, Tante Bud Light, who is no longer with us, and Tante Lucienne all hail from either Warwick or nearby Victoriaville the…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    20 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
  • If You Gotta Go, Go Now

    nonamedufus
    17 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    So I'm at the drugstore sitting, waiting for my prescription to be filled. I need some antibiotics for a cold and some medication to boost my chemo regime. There's these three chairs for people to use when they're waiting and next to them is a blood pressure machine. I suppose it's there to make us all fell guilty that we haven't been checking our pressure on a regular basis. Who me?So, anyway I'm sitting there and across from me, staring me in the face is an aisle full of incontinence products. Yeah, you know, those plastic pants one can wear under their normal clothes.To me, incontinence is…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    13 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
  • I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up

    nonamedufus
    10 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
    Who the hell watches daytime TV? Not me, normally. But I was convalescing from cataract surgery yesterday and was just kinda lying on the couch taking it easy. I started out watching the news channel and then after that got kind of repetitive switched over to the Game Show Network. There's something both networks had in common; Ads aimed at fat old people.Between Nutri System commercials and ads for lawsuits due to strokes from testosterone gel or metal hip replacements I couldn't help but start to feel very, very old and very, very fat. Hell, Kerri lost 110 pounds! Way to go Kerri. I don't…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Ann's Rants

  • Our Spring Break Desperation Inventions! Win a WEEK of FREE Camp Invention!

    Ann Imig
    23 Apr 2014 | 10:45 am
    This post is part of my Ambassadorship with Camp Invention The children finally returned to school yesterday. We had no travel plans during spring break, opting instead for a “stay-cation” chock full of winter temperatures, and two squirrely Imig boys with too much time on their hands. Spring Break highlights included daily strategy sessions involving the bartering of 20 minutes of outside time for two hours of screen time ala: SITTING ON YOUR DUFF IN THE DRIVEWAY DOESN’T COUNT AS OUTSIDE TIME. YES I REALIZE THAT TECHNICALLY YOU’RE FULFILLING THE REQUIREMENT BY BEING …
  • Spring Break, Then! Spring Break…Now.

    Ann Imig
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:01 am
    Spring Break Then: The Macarena! Spring Break Now: The Screaming Shrew. Spring Break Then: Boombox on the beach! Spring Break Now: Ant Venom Minecraft tutorials in the kitchen. Spring Break Then: Mai Tai, Baby! Spring Break Now:  Mai Chai, decaf. Spring Break Then: Sleeping, pancakes, tanning! Spring Break Now: Mini-golf bench, karate bench, soccer bench. Spring Break Then: Cute boys at the bar! Spring Break Now: Cute boys in timeout. Spring Break Then: Sarong, flip flops! Spring Break Now: Parka, mud boots. Spring Break Then: Cosmo quizzes! Spring Break Now: Camp forms. Speaking of Camp…
  • 10 Reasons I Still Blog

    Ann Imig
    9 Apr 2014 | 10:34 am
    Two weekends ago, I did a show. Not an LTYM show, which I now know how to do backwards and forwards, but a solo humor show. I combined a selection of live-readings from my blog, with a slide show and a bit of stand-up comedy, for an hour-long presentation at The Natural Parenting Expo.  As we entered the venue, my dad joked that I would serve as the “un-natural parenting” portion of the expo. I shushed him because he unknowingly stole my opening line. I already have his face (with a slighter goatee) so I thought at least I should have my own opening line. The show went well, aside from…
  • Don’t Fill The Void

    Ann Imig
    2 Apr 2014 | 8:57 am
    I’m sorry. Ann can’t come to the phone right now, she’s busy filling The Void with popcorn and social media scrolling. Lately I’ve been pondering an idea of a void and how I fill that void. I don’t mean a void in the sense of a gaping wound or a need never sated, but rather my tendency to fill an everyday/many-times-per-day void, when a healthier choice might be to leave it empty. The Void came to mind the other day, as I watched my inner-critic wreaking havoc on my inner-peace. I had this epiphan-ette: When I’m mean to myself, those words only appear to…
  • “John’s” by The Grade School Columnist (#WhereILivedWednesday)

    Ann Imig
    26 Mar 2014 | 4:28 am
    Everyone always picks Megan’s house. Jessica and Carrie and Alon and everyone. Megan’s dad’s house–John’s. Megan calls her dad John and her mom Judy, instead of “Mom” and “Dad.” She also does this thing—every time she sees someone and they say hi she asks “How are you?” I’ve never heard another sixth grader do that ever. I might try it and I might not. John lives one block from Joe’s market. We get off the bus from school and always stop there to get blue or red Freeze Pops and Captain Crunch and maybe a can of ravioli. When Danny stocks…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Unique Scoop

  • These People Built A Giant SOS And It Saved Their Lives (4 pics)

    Scoop
    24 Apr 2014 | 8:39 am
    You've probably seen people building an SOS on the beach in TV shows or maybe a movie and thought something like that would never work in real life. Think again. These people got stranded on an island, built a giant SOS and it ended up getting them rescued. When it doubt, build an SOS.  
  • Antelope Escapes Hungry Hyenas (13 pics)

    Scoop
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:12 am
  • She Taught Him a Lesson (5 pics)

    Scoop
    21 Apr 2014 | 7:36 am
    I guess so.
  • Makoko, a Floating Slum in Nigeria

    Scoop
    21 Apr 2014 | 7:35 am
    The shanty town of Makoko is located on a lagoon on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean, a stone’s throw from the modern buildings that make up Lagos, the biggest town in Nigeria and the main commercial and industrial center. In this sprawling slum on the waterfront, adjacent to the 10 km long Third Mainland Bridge, tens of thousands of people live in rickety wood houses raised on slits. There are no official census records, but estimates suggest some 150,000 to 250,000 people live here.
  • Pointless Cartoon Logic (18 pics)

    Scoop
    20 Apr 2014 | 7:58 am
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    中古車を安く買いたいので探しまくった結果

  • 広告業界も安泰ではない?

    14 Apr 2014 | 7:22 pm
    広告代理店といえば、一時期は隆盛を極めた業界です。就職人気ランキングでも常に上位に食い込んでいましたね。詳細はリスティング広告 正規代理店に書いてあります。もちろん今でも人気がある業界ではありますが、以前ほど状況は楽観視できるわけではないようです。詳しく知りたい方はグーグルアドワーズ…
  • 洗面所で使うタイルについて

    9 Apr 2014 | 7:43 pm
    マイホームを建てる時、雑多な生活観を感じさせないような可愛い洗面台にしたいという希望がありました。ご相談する際には静岡 注文住宅へ行ってみましょう。小さなモザイクタイルを天板に使用して、真中に陶器で出来た洗面ボウルを取り付けてもらいたいと思っていたのです。よく知らない点がある場合は新築…
  • 幼児教室を選ぶ際に夫婦で対立

    9 Apr 2014 | 6:49 pm
  • 美容皮膚科に通って綺麗になりました

    6 Apr 2014 | 10:47 pm
    美容皮膚科ですっかり綺麗になりました。年齢と共に増える悩みには銀座 皮膚科ここに書いてます。私が美容皮膚科に行って治療をしてもらう理由、それは将来のためなのです。あなたに合った東京…
  • 私が毎日パズドラを続けている理由

    3 Apr 2014 | 7:31 pm
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Velvet Blog

  • Close the door lightly when you go

    3 Apr 2014 | 2:16 pm
    I hereby propose a moratorium on use of "slams" in headlines. Also, synonyms for "slams." But, really, mostly "slams." All of these headlines were posted to Google News within a time frame of a few hours (I swear): Jennette McCurdy slams Nickelodeon, but network says 'Sam & Cat' Season 2 is a goAnthony Bourdain slams Nigella Lawson's U.S. travel banCris Carter slams Eagles with hypocritical tweet in support of DeSean JacksonEx-auditor-general Fraser slams elections bill as attack on democracyFranken slams Supreme Court decision on campaign contribution Nancy Pelosi Slams Supreme Court's…
  • Hello? Is this thing on?

    25 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead. You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook. But now that I have your attention: I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here). Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter…
  • Edna and Elbert

    12 Nov 2013 | 7:33 pm
    3-16-16 We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, Grace [unreadable]
  • Smackdown!: Pearl Bailey vs. pearl barley

    8 Oct 2013 | 6:58 am
    Pearl BaileyWho: American singer/actress/frequent talk show guest/writer. She was featured in Carmen Jones and Porgy and Bess on the big screen, and played Broadway. As a kid in the '70s, I'd watch her in her many talk show appearances on Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin, and the like (nothing that I could find on YouTube, which is surprising); she also appeared on The Carol Burnett Show, The Muppet Show, and many other variety shows. She wrote a best-selling memoir called The Raw Pearl, as well as the puzzlingly titled Hurry Up, America, and Spit. She won the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1988…
  • No, I'm not really blogging again

    31 Jul 2013 | 3:13 pm
    I'm just leaving this here to see if I get a response from iMotors or Reply.com. Let's try linking these two phrases: iMotors sucks. And Reply.com sucks even harder. The back story: I'm in the market for a car. I got a Facebook ad from iMotors for finding local dealers and what cars they have in stock. Hey, that sounds helpful, so I signed up. Immediately, I went from having maybe five spam emails hitting my email address per day to, oh, 250-300. Not all car related. Everything under the sun, from meeting Latino singles to lengthening my thingee. I'm assuming Reply.com has sold my email…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    BugginWord

  • Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs

    BugginWord
    14 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    This morning, while waiting for the green light to condone another cup of espresso, I turned to my husband and whispered, “I’m drinking coffee.  Willingly.  I’m a suburban housewife that drives her TWO kids through the two-lane streets of Jersey.  In a minivan.  That drinks coffee.”  I glanced down at the now deflated foam of my cappuccino.  ”What the fuck happened?” Changes.  Woof.  So to calm myself down (apparently drinking too much coffee can make you anxious – we coffee novices don’t know these things), I’ve compiled this list…
  • Five Years Time

    BugginWord
    19 Dec 2013 | 7:11 am
    Five years.  Some times that feels like five seconds.  Sometimes five lifetimes. It’s undergrad.  A novel.  An apprenticeship.  A marriage.  A thesis.  A prognosis.  A job.  A career.  A lifetime. A milestone. Normally, I wait and write about my trips to see Aloysius after they happen.  I suppose I’m a little superstitious and prefer to not jinx anything.  But today, this visit…it’s different.  Today I find out if I’m cured.  As in “cancer free.”  As in “no evidence of disease.”  As in “have a nice [long] life because…
  • Falling

    BugginWord
    6 Sep 2013 | 11:59 am
    There’s always something about the arrival of Fall that I find deeply comforting. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love Summer.  I love her reliability – her near-constant light and temperatures.  Once you hit 90, can you really discernibly tell if the temperature continues to rise? I love breezes, water, cold drinks (even the ones without alcohol in them) and frozen dairy on a stick.  I love grills, patios, porches, and blowing bubbles.  I love hiding in the shade during the brutal mid-day sun and maybe even catching a blanket-free catnap. I love Summer, but I love to…
  • Who Moved My Corn?

    BugginWord
    10 May 2013 | 9:43 am
    I need a piece of corn. Let’s try this again: Last week, I planted a mess of seedlings I’d been nurturing for months outside in some raised garden beds I recently built.  They’re dead now.  Apparently, you’re supposed to ease them outside, harden them, prepare them – not just shove ‘em in some mud and expect them to thrive after months without ever knowing the true warmth of the sun. Nope – too dramatic.  Take three: When she told him things she was thinking…he said it back to her in language that showed he understood what she’d said.
  • License Plates and Unicorn Fakes

    BugginWord
    26 Apr 2013 | 9:55 am
    So first?  I think we need to acknowledge this video exists. Second?  I can’t lift my arms.  That’s not really true.  It’s called “creative license,” people.  Also it’s called “Elly decided that after pining for a yard of her own her whole damn life be damned if she’s going to wait another fucking minute to whip this one into shape and I’m going to save money and do it all myself and girl power and I am woman and how hard can it be and holy shit balls five cubic yards is a whole lot more dirt than I expected and maybe I…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Joe Donatelli

  • Draft Day

    Joe Donatelli
    13 Apr 2014 | 11:02 am
    A prodigal Browns fan reviews the movie Draft Day and does not hate it.
  • Flash Boys

    Joe Donatelli
    6 Apr 2014 | 5:21 pm
    A quick review of Flash Boys, the terrific book about high frequency trading by Michael Lewis.
  • Virtual Reality in Cleveland

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Apr 2014 | 9:53 am
    How virtual reality can help cities like Cleveland.
  • Stack Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    28 Mar 2014 | 8:36 am
    What Your Baseball Position Says About You  The Los Angeles Lakers PRO Nutrition Plan 
  • When to Give Up on Your Dreams

    Joe Donatelli
    20 Mar 2014 | 2:32 pm
    When should someone, if ever, give up on their dreams?
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Futility Closet

  • The Parsons Code

    Greg Ross
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:39 pm
    In 1975 Denys Parsons devised a surprisingly simple way for nonmusicians to record melodies — write an asterisk for the first note, then hum the tune and decide whether each subsequent note goes up (U), down (D), or repeats (R). The first two phrases of “Happy Birthday,” for instance, look like this: *RUDUDDRUDUD (“* repeat up down up down down repeat up down up down”) This is surprisingly effective — Parsons, who spent five years indexing practically every well-known classical theme from the 16th century onward, wrote, “I continue to be astonished…
  • In a Word

    Greg Ross
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:58 am
    imbonity n. the reverse of goodness; unkindness nocument n. harm, damage; evil impenitible adj. incapable of repentance illachrymable adj. incapable of weeping
  • Borromean Tribars

    Greg Ross
    22 Apr 2014 | 11:53 pm
    Only the brilliantly inventive Lee Sallows would think of this. The figure above combines Penrose triangles with Borromean rings: Each of the triangles is an impossible object, and they’re united in a perplexing way — although the three are linked together, no two are linked. (Thanks, Lee.)
  • The Dancing Plague

    Greg Ross
    22 Apr 2014 | 11:58 am
    In July 1518, a woman named Frau Troffea stepped into a street in Strasbourg and began to dance. As onlookers gathered it became clear that she could not stop; after many hours of exertion she collapsed and slept briefly but then rose and again began the dance. After three exhausting days she was bundled into a wagon and taken to a shrine in the Vosges Mountains, but her example had had its effect. Within days more than 30 more people had begun to dance uncontrollably, and their numbers grew; according to one chronicle, within a month 400 people were dancing. The fact of the plague is well…
  • Working Afield

    Greg Ross
    21 Apr 2014 | 11:43 pm
    Dutch author Leo Lionni devoted most of his career to children’s books, but in 1977 he undertook a weird experiment. Parallel Botany is a catalog of made-up plants, whose made-up features are described by made-up botanists and illustrated by Lionni’s pencil drawings. Sigurya barbulata, at left, is distinguished by its crowning “cephalocarpus”; a specimen discovered in a Mexican pyramid was found to have been metallized into an organic mace, but how this had come about is the subject of “furious debates.” “The difficulties of applying traditional…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Applying for a job in management

    traymond
    24 Apr 2014 | 9:48 am
    The young man arrived at his first job interview early, with eagerness all over his face.  He said, “I have no experience, but I’d like a job in the executive line.  A vice presidency, for example.” The Human Resources manager looked at him and said, “But we already have twelve vice presidents.” “That’s all right.  I’m not superstitious.” the young man replied.
  • Mental Health Hospital Hotline

    traymond
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:44 am
    For example, imagine hearing the following when you dial a number. "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a…
  • Competition in Business

    traymond
    22 Apr 2014 | 9:11 am
    A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’ He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’ The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read ‘MAIN ENTRANCE’.
  • The Greatest Show on Earth - funny movie quotes

    traymond
    21 Apr 2014 | 9:06 am
    Funny Movie Quotes from The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) starring Charleton Heston, Gloria Grahame, Cornel Wilde, Betty Hutton, Jimmy Stewart Angel (Gloria Grahame): Listen, sugar, the only way that you can keep me warm is to wrap me up in a marriage license. [To Holly, as his blood is being transfused into Brad.] Sebastian (Cornel Wilde): If he should make love well after this, pay no attention - it will be me. Holly (Betty Hutton): I’d hate to have your nerve in a tooth! Angel (Gloria Grahame): You are a sourpuss, aren’t you? Brad Braden (Charleton Huston): Yeah. Angel (Gloria…
  • The new recruit at guard duty

    traymond
    20 Apr 2014 | 9:01 am
    The new recruit, on guard duty for the first time, was told to challenge anyone who didn’t have a blue card. The General came to the gate.  He didn’t have his blue card with him.  The recruit challenged the General.  The General said he was coming in anyway. The Private replied, “Who do I shoot?  You or the Driver?  I’m new at this guard duty business.”
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Renée Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in Design

  • An Artists Retreat In Bolinas California

    22 Apr 2014 | 3:54 am
    I was watching a expose on a community in California called Bolinas.When I googled images for Bolinas California up popped this artists retreat.I was wow'd out by the interiors so I have posted the home in Bolinas.I found out who the designer was and it was a mother daughter team from Truckee Nevada.Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?I have. My Dad had 2 restaurants on the Lake.It is amazing there....the area truly is kissed by G-d.Well, Truckee Nevada is right outside of Tahoe....on the way to Reno.Truckee is the town where this mother daughter team have their design…
  • Late Snow In Maine

    19 Apr 2014 | 5:13 am
    It seems as though summer will never come.We have had temps in the 20's all week.The Mainer's assure me that this has been a horrible winter and that it is a rare one as well.In March I was really wondering if I could tolerate these Maine winters.But alas......the memory of summer,and the hope of a Maine summer keeps me going.Yes.Summer in Maine is that magical.I love every day of it.ArcadiaThe lilacs will soon arrive.The deep green will arrive.And my favorite summer flower.....the poppy will come too!!! Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton…
  • You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression -The Nomad Hotel

    10 Apr 2014 | 6:38 am
    THE NOMAD  HOTELWouldn't this make a fabulous movie set.I think so.I adore this front desk.In a Film, this extraordinary look could be used in several time periods.(maybe I like it so much because the designer used gobs of fabricand fabulous light fixtures)The Nomad HotelThe Nomad HotelThe Nomad HotelImpressive entrance/and 'beginning' for a hotel.No?Remember you Never Get a Second Chance To Make A First ImpressionDivine NYCThe Nomad HotelI would be very comfy hiding out here with a book.The Nomad HotelOut of the city into this darkened refuse.It feels like a great room for a secret…
  • Striped Walls

    31 Mar 2014 | 5:10 am
    This is my favorite striped wall and ceiling effect in this post.It gives the feel of being in a tented cabana.How great is that?And this is totally do-able!!Another striped wall with the ceiling painted as well.The striped walls are painted right over the doors.The door disappears...great!I love the striped walls and the stripe is carried over into the fabric on the upholstery.....just the door striped.Cool idea if you are too chicken to paint an entire room.hehehehLOVE!!An over the top little girls room with pink striped walls.This is a great metal kitchen that has been…
  • Home & - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014

    22 Mar 2014 | 3:25 am
    Egan WieserI chose this kitchen from his websitebecause I thought it was so unusual.What are your feelings on this kitchen design?Hope all are well out there in Bloggy-VilleXXX'sReneeClick here to see his work. Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her Adventures in Design, Boca Raton and Rockport and Camden Maine, All Interior Design Services, Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 , Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 , Home &  - Kitchen Designer of the Year 2014 Renee Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Points in Case - The Fine Print of College Life

  • An Asexual Guy Answers All Your Asexual Questions

    Cole F.M.
    21 Apr 2014 | 3:36 pm
    Column by Cole F.M. Bear with me for a second. I know it might be hard to believe, but even as a PIC Staff Writer/Permanent Six-Pack Museum exhibit, I do not find it difficult to walk from the front door to my mailbox due to a constant sweaty, slippery grind of ass I have to tap. As I make my cereal in the morning, I do not find myself burdened by having to satisfy enough people to populate a small island nation. I never have to stop on the way to do my laundry to pass undulating throngs of people who throw themselves at me genitals first. People are not constantly begging me to plow them, is…
  • An Alpha Male's Guide to Being a Man

    James Boulstridge
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:57 pm
    Article by James Boulstridge Don't bitch. Drinking is the cause and solution to pretty much every obstacle you have to face in life from the onset of puberty, from loneliness to marriage, and all that spectrum of beauty in between.It is our duty to keep women in a constant state of confusion—I mean arousal—and defensiveness. DO NOT COMMUNICATE FEELINGS! This way she will never know which way is up other than if she works up your erections. SHE WILL LITERALLY BE FORCED TO GIVE YOU ERECTIONS!Women mature a lot faster and a lot earlier than men; to acknowledge this is foolhardy, says I. When…
  • 7 Secrets for Passing a Teaching Interview

    Wesley Jansen
    15 Apr 2014 | 7:49 pm
    Article by Wesley Jansen We all know that going to a job interview can be very intimidating. Whether you're looking for work just to pay the bills, or actually trying to get your dream job, it's an emotionally trying time. Especially if you are a teacher. Teachers are put under lots of pressure in job interviews because they work with kids. As a teacher, I consider it my responsibility to help those in my field because I've been there already. So for you, I have put together 7 successful strategies for passing your next teaching interview. 7. Make sure your answers are concise.The…
  • Douche Ukrainian Guy at the Bar

    Casey Freeman
    12 Apr 2014 | 9:33 am
    Column by Casey Freeman I needed a night out so I thought I'd hang with a friend, Tanya, and her friends, some of whom I'd met before. Our mission was to take out Yuri, Tanya's engineer friend from the Ukraine, who had never hit the Korean club scene. He looked like your stereotypical doofus: maybe 130 pounds and arms like wet baby towels. I'm sure he could chat online all day, but he could barely carry on a face-to-face convo.Some Korean clubs rank as pretty awesome. There usually aren't cover charges. Most folks can afford the drinks. The people dress nice and prefer to dance rather than…
  • Black Men Can't Swim

    Eugene Slaven
    9 Apr 2014 | 8:04 pm
    Article by Eugene Slaven When I finally managed to turn on the TV after several infuriating seconds of struggling to aim the remote in just the right spot, the channel was fortuitously tuned to the Bravo network. I think my wife or mistress watched something on Bravo, so hopefully that explains everything and there won't be any follow-up questions regarding Bravo or my mistress. Bravo was airing a reunion of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Not to be confused with The Real Housewives of Orange County. Definitely not the same show. You see, whereas The Real Housewives of Orange Country…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Really Funny Jokes

  • A matter of seconds

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Danny quizzes his friend Sandy, "Tell me, what similarities do you find in a burnt toast and your pregnant girlfriend? Sandy answers, "This one's easy. In both cases, you wonder why you did not withdraw couple of seconds earlier!"
  • Very fat

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Mrs. Bubba to Mr. Bubba : You have become very fat.Mr. Bubba : You have also become very fat.Mrs. Bubba : But I am going to be a mother!Mr. Bubba: So what? Even I am going to be a father!!
  • What are you doing this evening?

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong.Rebecca said,"The Boss asked me what was I doing this evening."The colleague asked, "So what did you say?"Rebecca answered, "I said I was doing nothing. He gave me 50 pages to type!"
  • Milk and eggs

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Little Johnny: A cow gives milk and a hen lays eggs. Tell me who can give both?Little Tommy: Can't think of anyone.Little Johnny: The grocery store owner, silly!
  • Short funny jokes-Rebirth

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Patrick, the pervert, is praying hard, "Jesus, if there really is such a thing as rebirth, then I would like to return as a women's bicycle seat."
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Code language

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dave and Doris were a newly married couple who were not so well off, so they moved into a slum dwelling in the outskirts of town.As soon as they moved in, Dave wanted to have his way with Doris and asked her, "Lets have s*x honey."Doris whispered, "Shh....the walls here are paper thin. If you speak that loud, everyone here will know what we are about to do. In future, we will have to communicate in codes. If you want to do it, you can say something like, 'is the washing machine door open?', understood?"The next night, Dave asked Doris, "Is the washing machine door open?"Doris was not in the…
  • Punishment for bigamy

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:02 am
    When Lord John Russell was asked what would be an appropriate punishment for bigamy, his reply was quick : 'Two mothers-in-law".
  • Best funny jokes-Manager's dislikes

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Tom, was a sale representative working for an electronics company. On visiting a prospective customer, he offered a box of cigars to the Key accounts manager as a gift."No, thanks," said the Key accounts manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it."Tom, hoping to clinch a sale, offered to take the Key accounts manager out for a round of drinks."No, thanks," the Key accounts manager replied. "Well, I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."Tom rolled his eyes, and then glancing out of the office window, saw a golf course."I suppose you play golf," said Tom. "I'd like to invite…
  • Limericks-Careless

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    A flighty young gal named MelissaWas careless as hell on the pissa.One day in the rush,She was caught in the flush,And goodness knows all of us missa!
  • Another Mother-in-Law joke

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    It was Friday evening and we were having a guys-night-out. The topic came to mothers-in-law and each one of us guys had a nasty tale to narrate.When almost everyone had finished their woeful accounts, Nick was the only one who was silent throughout. I asked him jokingly, "Nick, tell us the two most horrible things about your Mother-in-Law?"Nick replied, "Her faces!"
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • 'On Either Side of the Whispering Wall' - Painting by Daniel Grant Newton (DGN Productions)'On

    Daniel Newton
    22 Apr 2014 | 11:06 pm
    'On either side of the Whispering Wall' - Painting by Daniel Grant Newton (DGN Productions)' A new painting this week.  I had the progress photos for this painting, but they mysteriously disappeared.  Maybe they are on the other side of a magic wall.  Maybe they slipped through the slits of time and space. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this painting, and it stimulates you to think
  • New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fan Art ... and how I did it.

    Daniel Newton
    20 Apr 2014 | 5:36 pm
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan art by Daniel Grant Newton (DGN Productions). Characters include Leonardo, Donatello, April O'Neil and Casey Jones.  Daniel does not own these characters or have any rights to them. Hey there, hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend.  If you do not celebrate the day, and do not worship rabbits who bring chocolate eggs, then I hope you enjoy had a relaxing time
  • Mystical, Magical Crystal Ball Art Piece by Daniel Grant Newton using the Moon as the Crystal Ball

    Daniel Newton
    17 Apr 2014 | 12:09 am
    Hey hey it's Thursday.  I hope you've been having an awesome week.  Anyway, new art I'd like to share with you my dear friend.   I used the other night's spectacular full moon and two sketches I had created earlier to make the following picture in photoshop.  Another crystal ball piece not unlike this one I did earlier. Crystal Ball picture by Daniel Grant Newton.  The ball is actually a
  • Tomb Raider Lara Croft Fan Art created by Daniel Grant Newton in the DGN Productions Studio

    Daniel Newton
    13 Apr 2014 | 3:09 am
    A message from the studio of DGN Productions (scroll down to skip the jibber jabber and see my Tomb Raider Lara Croft fan art): G'day there.   Hope you've had a freaking awesome weekend doing things like skydiving onto a rooftop, then abseiling down it with no rope, smashing through a window with your bare fist and making a citizen's arrest of a cigar smoking gangster... and are looking forward
  • a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan art drawing I was playing with last night

    Daniel Newton
    6 Apr 2014 | 4:02 pm
    I am a huge TMNT fan, and am very excited about the Michael Bay movie adaption coming out soon, so I thought I'd draw Raphael and Casey Jones from the franchise (see left). There are a few bits of this drawing that are a little off, but for the most part it is good, and was quite fun to give it a little bit of my spin. Anyway, for those that haven't seen the trailer for the film, I've
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Humor Blog

  • Quotes from Classic Golf Comedy Movie ‘Happy Gilmore’

    Chris
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:14 am
    Lines by Happy, Chubbs, Hal and other characters in this classic golf comedy which came out back in 1996. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Family Guy Episode Quotes – Hilarious Lines by Peter and Others

    Chris
    13 Apr 2014 | 5:13 am
    Some of the best quotes by Stewie, Quagmire, Peter, Tom Tucker, Brian and other characters from Family Guy. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • QI Episode Quotes and Statistics – by Stephen Fry and Guests

    Chris
    12 Apr 2014 | 3:05 am
    Quotes from different episodes of QI hosted by Stephen Fry and featuring funny famous guests including Jimmy Carr. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Funniest 40-Year-Old Virgin Quotes From Full Movie Cast

    Chris
    11 Apr 2014 | 2:21 am
    Quotes by different characters in the classic comedy film '40 Year Old Virgin'. Have a laugh now. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • Funny Simpsons Quotes By Homer And Other Characters

    Chris
    10 Apr 2014 | 4:21 am
    Collection of funny lines from different family members during some of the 500 episodes made so far. Article owned by TheHumorBlog website. NO copying allowed. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit the website for full content by clicking the title! ]]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Funky Downtown

  • World’s Toughest Job Director Of Operations

    admin
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Very touch prank video, which is also an ad from a greeting card company. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no break, no holiday, no pay…world’s toughest job ‘Director of Operations’ aka ‘Moms’! American Greetings enlisted the help of Boston-based advertising agency Mullen for its Mother’s Day campaign this […]
  • World’s Most Expensive Easter Egg

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:59 am
    This is the world’s most expensive Easter egg! So if you think you have no idea where and how to spend your money, just consider in buying it; it just costs you few million dollars only…lol. A cross between a Faberge egg and the Damien Hirst skull, the ‘Mirage’ is a unique gem that only […]
  • 8 Pairs of Unusual But Adorable Twins

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:40 am
  • Five-metre Oarfish Found Dead in Mexican Beach

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:32 am
  • Faithful Dogs Protect Little Master From Beaten by Mother

    admin
    14 Apr 2014 | 9:08 am
    Dogs are man’s best friends, no doubt at all! Watch how two faithful dogs protect their little master when his mother is trying to beat him…so touch!
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Fair City News

  • Germans Deny SBC Märzen Gold World Beer Cup Win

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Apr 2014 | 5:39 am
    German trying not to enjoy SBC Märzen Even a specific loan firm or complications that point levitra levitra for car repairs emergency cash extremely easy.Own a source for bills paid than avoid a local order cialis site espharmacycom order cialis site espharmacycom company so any security us your fingertips.In this too far as such it would http://levitra6online.com http://levitra6online.com rather than get online website.Give you decide on quick option but is online cash advance online cash advance here we set their clients.Give you may help every time depending on these viagra kaufen viagra…
  • Mike the Intern

    FairCityNews.com
    23 Apr 2014 | 5:22 am
    104.7′s Mike the Intern May is here. Finals are coming up, the kids are getting ready to get out of school and you are wondering why in the hell you don’t get a summer vacation like everyone else. Well you might not get a vaca but I can help you start one hell of a summer soundtrack. Bryan Adams – Summer of ‘69 Either this dude is talking about a year in time, when you were young and trying to start a band. Or maybe when you decided to fall in love for the first time. Or maybe when you found your favorite position. I would say anyone of these answers are correct. The…
  • “Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason

    FairCityNews.com
    21 Apr 2014 | 5:01 am
    Baffling online parking recently unveiled Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot Com Parking’? Area shoppers had several takes on the curious moniker. “I think it is a place where you can go park and find an item in the store while on your smart phone,” said Mike Fergrat, of Ozarks, MO. “The idea of having a…
  • Colored Egg Rolls Highlight SGF Cashew Chicken Heritage

    FairCityNews.com
    17 Apr 2014 | 5:14 am
    Celebrating with Colored Egg Rolls this Easter Springfield, MO – In an attempt to shine a light on a native cuisine, Springfield residents are coloring Easter egg rolls this month in honor of the Cashew Chicken dish created in this city. The Easter egg rolls are dyed multiple colors to resemble the more traditional Easter Egg. An Easter Egg Roll Hunt is planned for Saturday, followed by an egg roll drop from a helicopter and a jubilant Easter egg roll hunt. The festivities will begin at 10 am and will last most of the afternoon. “Ah, colored egg rolls isn’t really my idea of Easter, but…
  • Crossfit…

    FairCityNews.com
    15 Apr 2014 | 6:50 am
    Well, I have been gone for a while but I’m back.  I have been training for the upcoming summer season.  Its that time of year in which you have to get ready for the lake or pool and you want to appear fit.  There are a number of ways to do so as we are a nation very concerned about our outward appearance.  They have pills, diets and even things you wrap around your “fat parts” to mask people seeing you for the gluten you really are.  But, none of these things compares to the Crossfit experience.  I have been going for a few months now and, I must say, it is a whole new world. …
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Noise to Signal

  • Dammit, I said “election”

    Rob Cottingham
    21 Apr 2014 | 5:16 pm
    I’m seeing a growing number of errors in Facebook posts, tweets and comments that look an awful lot like speech recognition errors. That tells me both that we still have a ways to go before the technology is as good as we’d like it to be, and that a lot more people are using it. Maybe the tech will catch up, with some combination of heuristics and better audio discrimination. But I’m not sure I want it to. Maybe if speech recognition had been around 30 years ago, Michael Stipe and REM might have produced songs with discernible lyrics. (By the way, my Mac’s voice…
  • Infographobia

    Rob Cottingham
    16 Apr 2014 | 2:59 pm
    Adding a word like “infographic” to a spell check dictionary is the sort of unpleasant task that, like butchering animals, should probably be done out of sight of the end user. I’m not sure why I’ve grown to dislike infographics so much. As a visual guy (hence the cartoons, right?) I wholeheartedly endorse graphic communication. But like so many other things, infographics are often conscripted into the ongoing War Against Informed Decision-Making. Not all of them: just the ones that are all graphic and no info (if that), or that use wild, unsourced statistics to back…
  • Leave the lawyers out of it

    Rob Cottingham
    11 Apr 2014 | 4:51 pm
    Contrary to speculation, World War III will not break out in Crimea. Or the Middle East. It’ll start over that whole one-or-two-spaces-after-a-period thing. (Robin Williams, let me know where to enlist.) A slew of cartoons just like this one will be appearing soon in an exciting new book, TOUCH: Five Factors to Growing and Leading a Human Organization. It’s by two very smart cookies, Tod Maffin and Mark Blevis, and it suggests that businesses that abandon human-to-human interaction in the rush to technologize are missing out on the real power of connection and relationships. More…
  • Drumming up business

    Rob Cottingham
    9 Apr 2014 | 8:55 pm
    Doritos, deep-fried fish sticks, deep-fried chicken nuggets, Black Forest cake, deep-friend Black Forest cake with a Doritos crumble topping… It’s like they’re saying “We know you’re just visiting, but we’d love you to come by for a longer stay.” See more cartoons about social media, business and the way we live and work online at Noise to Signal Cartoon
  • KMG365

    Rob Cottingham
    8 Apr 2014 | 4:04 pm
    This is not my first colors-as-hex-codes joke. See more cartoons about social media, business and the way we live and work online at Noise to Signal Cartoon
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    With Both Hands and a Flashlight

  • Salem Witch Trial Viewing

    Sam Reeves
    21 Apr 2014 | 10:20 am
              Hear ye!  Hear ye!  Here there be spoilers.                    I watched episode 1 of Salem last night.  Judging the show at this point is probably not fair.  This was merely the get-to-know-us-and-our-thigh-suckling-toads episode.            My first thought was a phrase my best friend often used when we were children:  extremely mediocre.  It doesn't really mean anything.  It is…
  • Guest Blogger: Deborah Cota

    Sam Reeves
    16 Jan 2012 | 2:17 pm
    Storytellers are not writers...well, not just writers.  Deborah Cota is a storyteller to her bones.  She takes you into her novels like that gentle neighbor who invites you to sit beside her on the porch swing and sip some Lipton.  Then once there, listening to that slender chain creak, you begin to see the tempting slips in reality telling you that you are somewhere you do not recognize.  It's too late at this point, of course.  Instinct tells you to find some place safe, but the other part -- that part Deborah finds so easily -- says "Okay.  In a minute. …
  • Kindred Spirits with a Flashlight

    Sam Reeves
    10 Jan 2012 | 1:22 pm
    My friend and one of my favorite novelists, Deborah Cota, asked me to write a guest blog for her site.  You can read it here.  Hope you enjoy, and I would love to hear your comments.http://www.dantechronicles.com/blog/2012/01/10/Kindred-Spirits-with-a-Flashlight.aspx You can find Deborah's book here:The Kindred
  • And Yet He is Still a Yeti

    Sam Reeves
    8 Jan 2012 | 4:32 pm
    I've got a treat for you.  My best friend since first grade, Yancy, is guest posting today.  He has some amazing stories to tell, as you'll see by following the links below.  --- Sam      *                    *                    *Oil and water.  Fire and gunpowder.  Spiders and…well, anything, because I hate spiders.  I’m talking about things…
  • Christmas Eve in SamSpace

    Sam Reeves
    24 Dec 2011 | 5:29 am
      It's Christmas Eve.  I blog now, but in social networking of Christmas Past, I remember that after days of diligently Googling, I mastered the art of cutting and pasting HTML code into the "About Me" box of MySpace.  I can write some simple HTML unassisted by any major search engines.  For example, I know that body's must be followed by /body's and that the command "font face =" works much better at making your webpage prettier than does sacrificing an old typewriter to the computer gods.  Still, there are great volumes of HTML that doesn't look a whole lot…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Words, Pictures, Humor

  • Prost! Pt. II

    drewdernavich
    10 Apr 2014 | 9:45 am
    By the way, I wasn’t such a huge fan of German beer before I went over to Austria and Germany. But I am now.
  • Prost!

    drewdernavich
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:19 pm
    Where did the last two weeks go? Oh yeah – now I remember. I was in Austria, along with Matthew Diffee and Paul Noth. We were asked to come host a symposium in Wels with a bunch of other very talented cartoonists from Austria and Germany, and so we did, after one of us was – ahem – detained by the Swiss police over passport issues. On the way there, we did our Fisticuffs! show in Linz, Austria, as part of the Next Comic Festival at the university.   And although the battle was fierce, we all lived. (Which is true, but we also suffered head wounds from getting kicked by…
  • I went to SXSW and all I made was this lousy video

    drewdernavich
    17 Mar 2014 | 5:54 pm
    I went to the South by Southwest music festival in Austin, TX last week. My expert analysis is that it was a blast (you can probably go elsewhere for longer and better writing about the event). I saw a ton of great music, some of which I captured on my now-long-defunct-but-still-working Flip camera. A lot of the good moments never made it to video: Lucius at the Paste day party, St. Vincent’s suddenly electric stage show, two guys somehow colliding and then hugging while crowd surfing at Grackle, an out-of-town after-hours party DJed by Matthew Dear blanketed in dry ice, all the shows…
  • Trapped!

    drewdernavich
    11 Mar 2014 | 3:38 am
    What does this post have to do with R. Kelly? Nothing, really. But keep reading anyway. Awkward situations always make great comedy. For my cartoon that appears in this week’s New Yorker, I was thinking about those performers who get right in your face on the subway and demand that you pay attention to them. Of course, you never ever want to do that. What would happen if one of them found a way to get sweet revenge, and to confront you in a place where you couldn’t merely look away or pretend that they weren’t there? I thought of a situation where a singer somehow followed a…
  • Work in Progress

    drewdernavich
    19 Feb 2014 | 4:22 pm
    This pylon is going to be here for a long time, because I’ve only just started working on my first children’s book. Did you know that? I suppose I should have made some formal kind of announcement. ANNOUNCEMENT: I’ve written a children’s book that’s going to be published by Christy Ottaviano Books, an imprint of Henry Holt, some time in 2015. So yeah, that’s out of the way. I’m illustrating it, too, and I couldn’t be more excited to be doing it. It’s been fun working with Christy so far, even though we’re still in the early stages of…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Mommy Wants Vodka

  • What Was Decidedly NOT Brownie Batter

    Your Aunt Becky
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:41 am
    Part I Part II Part III After what felt to be 27 years – but was more likely to have been 27 minutes – I decided that one melting down child (read: me) was enough; it was time to return to our humble room to watch some … whatever people watch in hotels that isn’t porn. When I’d skinned the kids of their wet suits, much to their vocal displeasure, I noted that they were covered tip to tail in a rash. Attributing it to over-chlorination, I felt, for the first time, pleased with the hotel. We all know kids whiz in pools with alarming frequency and by the rashes on their bodies, I…
  • Twi Hard

    Your Aunt Becky
    18 Mar 2014 | 9:06 am
    Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I may have also seen every movie opening night.” Me: …sputters… (eye twitches) Lauren: “Haha.” Me: (googles “how to understand Twilight if you haven’t read it,” then thoughtfully erases it from the search box in case someone wandered by and accidentally saw that I’d googled anything about…
  • Things Unsaid Today

    Your Aunt Becky
    13 Mar 2014 | 10:15 am
    “I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care to count. She needs a second total knee replacement now; she told me that your mom does, too. Sucks watching our parents get older, doesn’t it? Fuck, it sucks getting older – period.” “You’ve been on your own Medical Mystery Tour – forgot to tell you: I finally had that MRI. I guess I got tired of people making the…
  • Street Fighting (wo)Man

    Your Aunt Becky
    10 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Part I Part II Because I am not only stupid, but dumb too, I can’t back down from a fight. I tried once, but it broke my arm. So when I started getting the hairy eyeball for daring to sit on an unoccupied chair adorned with an unused beach towel, my fake-rock bruised ass was absofuckinglutly ready for the Thunderdome. Wearily, I hummed Eye of the Tiger and was all “I know EXACTLY what roadkill feels like” as the entire row of vultures, er, people in the chairs in front of me got up, one by one, and began to form a semi-circle around one man who appeared, from my vantage…
  • Panic! At the Pool!

    Your Aunt Becky
    26 Feb 2014 | 10:06 am
    Part I After wandering through the endless labyrinth of badly-carpeted halls while lugging the absolute most amount of crap I’ve ever packed for a trip, finally, we reached our room. The kids, by this time, were weeping from hunger, and I’d begun to shake although I couldn’t say for certain if it was low blood sugar, horror at the prices of a cup of entirely mediocre coffee, or as an aftereffect of the cacophony of the lobby. Eyes set forward on an unfixed mark way down at the end of the hallway, I set my mouth into a thin line and said to no one in particular, “We’d better get…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    12 Most

  • 12 Most Remarkable Words You Should Include in Your Daily Vocabulary

    Kirsten Wright
    24 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Kirsten Wright     The words we write and speak make us who we are. So, given the opportunity, shouldn’t you use remarkable words? Of course you should. In order to help you become a more eloquent individual, we’re sharing 12 words with the definition, what word it can replace, and how you can […]
  • 12 Most Powerhouse Habits of Social Media Pros

    Becky Gaylord
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Becky Gaylord     What’s the secret sauce of social media? Well, it’s not just one recipe. After all, far too many apps, sites and tools exist for there to be a definitive source of success on social media. But it seems the pros share some common habits. They all do these 12 things: […]
  • 12 Most Strategic Ways to Use Pinterest for Marketing

    Peg Fitzpatrick
    22 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Peg Fitzpatrick   Pinterest is fun and boosts creativity but at it’s social media heart, Pinterest is marketing. Very smart marketing! Are you wondering how you can use Pinterest to market your small business, company, blog, or to promote your next book or product? Visual marketing on Pinterest is a low-key, self-paced way to […]
  • 12 Most Earth-Shattering Realizations That Every Writer Needs to Come To

    Kathleen Krueger
    21 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Kathleen Krueger   Whether it’s starting your blog or publishing your first book, every writer has mixed emotions of excitement and trepidation when it comes to releasing their words to the world. You put your heart and soul into your writing. When you finally have the opportunity and courage to make the big leap, […]
  • 12 Most Debilitating Hiring Mistakes Small Businesses Make

    Brad Farris
    18 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Brad Farris     Hiring is hard. When you are a business owner and you don’t have an HR department to help you or a boss to train you, you can make a lot of terrible hiring mistakes. Here are 12 that we’ve seen over and over… 1. Hiring friends This is actually two […]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:51 am
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:51 am
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:51 am
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:51 am
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    24 Apr 2014 | 8:51 am
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    UrlyBits

  • Game of Goats – The Game Of Thrones Theme Never Sounded Better!

    Paul O'Flaherty
    11 Apr 2014 | 11:50 am
    Sara just hates it when I sing along to the Game of Thrones theme tune ... "game of... game of thrones... game of throoooones...."... I just might start playing this on my phone instead... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6tKZ-cg4RI
  • Right Guard Xtreme Clear – Because Everyone Hates The White Stuff

    Paul O'Flaherty
    31 Mar 2014 | 6:11 pm
    Disclosure: Sponsored Post You've been there guys! You jump out of the shower, throw on  your favorite slacks and black shirt and head off down to the pub to meet your mates and watch the game. You're happy as the proverbial pig, but just before you walk in the door you look down and see these two big white streaks of sticky junk on the sides of your shirt. What happened? What will the ladies think? There's no way you're pulling tonight! Antiperspirant residue is the bane of many blokes lives, even mine. Thankfully my beautiful wife makes fun of me before I leave the house so I get to avoid…
  • Fearless Puppy Defends The Food Bowl From A Much Larger Dog

    Paul O'Flaherty
    27 Mar 2014 | 7:39 am
    Looking for a little bit of cute to brighten your day? Let this little puppy be your inspiration as it fearlessly defends the food bowl from it's much larger housemate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU6lLMz9OXg
  • Bad Timing British Airways

    Paul O'Flaherty
    27 Mar 2014 | 7:25 am
    There’s a time and a place for everything, but considering how recently Malaysia Airlines flight 370 was lost, I think this was definitely the wrong timing for this British Airways advert.Have you visited UrlyBits today?Posted by Paul to UrlyBits, 2014. | Permalink to Bad Timing British Airways
  • Christopher Walken Dance Now

    Paul O'Flaherty
    20 Mar 2014 | 10:39 am
    Ben Craw created this awesome Christopher Walken dance mashup for the HuffPo. The more I watch this video, the more I am reminded that Christopher Walken never appears to be "all there" - if you know what I mean. LOL Also, I was surprised not to see any clips of Walken from the Fatboy Slim "Weapon of Choice" music video, so I've embedded that below for more Walken pleasure :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNaau2uPFqI Fatboy Slim - "Weapon of Choice" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Really Funny Jokes

  • A matter of seconds

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Danny quizzes his friend Sandy, "Tell me, what similarities do you find in a burnt toast and your pregnant girlfriend? Sandy answers, "This one's easy. In both cases, you wonder why you did not withdraw couple of seconds earlier!"
  • Very fat

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Mrs. Bubba to Mr. Bubba : You have become very fat.Mr. Bubba : You have also become very fat.Mrs. Bubba : But I am going to be a mother!Mr. Bubba: So what? Even I am going to be a father!!
  • What are you doing this evening?

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong.Rebecca said,"The Boss asked me what was I doing this evening."The colleague asked, "So what did you say?"Rebecca answered, "I said I was doing nothing. He gave me 50 pages to type!"
  • Milk and eggs

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Little Johnny: A cow gives milk and a hen lays eggs. Tell me who can give both?Little Tommy: Can't think of anyone.Little Johnny: The grocery store owner, silly!
  • Short funny jokes-Rebirth

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Patrick, the pervert, is praying hard, "Jesus, if there really is such a thing as rebirth, then I would like to return as a women's bicycle seat."
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Nebulous Mooch

  • Using a Tape Gun

    Lovelyn
    7 Apr 2014 | 1:30 pm
    You would think using a tape gun would be easy. Well it’s not. It’s especially not easy when your dog is barking at you because he doesn’t like the tape gun. Maybe he thinks it’s a real gun. Maybe he just senses my stress and would like to add to it. I bought a tape gun because everyone seems to think that using one will make it so much easier to pack the millions of boxes I have to ship out everyday. I was excited when I got it because I’m all about simplifying my life. Anyway, it should be called a make-all-the-tape-crooked-and-bumpy gun because that’s…
  • When Life Give You Lemons … Dry Them

    Lovelyn
    31 Mar 2014 | 8:40 am
    Do you remember when Martha Stewart spent time in prison? I’m not sure if she was convicted of insider trader or making me feel guilty about the state of my house. Personally, I think the latter offense deserves a much longer sentence than she actually got. When she was released from prison a reporter asked her what she missed most while she was in the joint and Stewart responded, “Lemons.” When the reporter asked if that was it she said, “Just lemons. Oh and my friends and family of course.” Some people thought that her response was cold hearted. How could you…
  • My Whole Vagina

    Lovelyn
    27 Mar 2014 | 11:15 am
    My husband plays a church gig on Sundays and because he doesn’t know any of the songs they sing, the pastor sends him songs to listen to each week. It’s funny because if anyone followed him on Spotify they’d think that he listens to religious music all the time. Anyway the lyrics of one of the songs he was listening to last week were almost impossible to decipher. Singers really should try to enunciate so we know what they’re talking about. After listening to the chorus a million times I think I finally figured out the words. My whole vagina My provider You hold my…
  • In the Doghouse

    Lovelyn
    24 Mar 2014 | 7:30 am
    Chompyface is in the doghouse today and he doesn’t even seem to realize it because he just keeps looking at me and wagging his tail. His tail wagging tricks and soft half floppy ears won’t get me this time though. Last night he was up to no good. When we first got him he couldn’t be trusted around food at all. Anything out in the open seemed like fair game to him, but we’d since trained him out of the habit of trying to eat our food or at least I thought we’d trained him out of it. Last night’s dinner was suppose to be a delicious combination of salmon…
  • A Special Offer

    Lovelyn
    25 Feb 2014 | 7:27 pm
    So I got an email from my internet provider the other day, and I was excited to open it because it said it contained a special offer. I was hoping that they’d decided to provide me with a lifetime of free massages and fancy imported cheeses. No luck. Instead they were offering me cable with DVR, internet, and phone service for the low price of $119 a month. I laughed out loud when I read it. Who uses a phone anymore? Except for me. I think we’re the only people in the world under 75 who has a home number. Who watches TV anymore? Except for me on Sundays at my parents house. Who…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    http://www.dangatorium.com/

  • Why The Internet Is Not Your Friend But Rather Your Shitty Co-Worker You Don't Respect

    11 Apr 2014 | 1:54 pm
    The internet loves to talk shit about people It loves to corner you on Monday and tell you why The Walking Dead is “Best. Show. Ever.” It loves showing you pictures of cats. It thinks mustaches are funny. It loves to talk about its “socially liberal; fiscally conservative” views. It’s not really a “reader” It will say something sarcastic followed by “- said no one ever!” It blogs  It takes itself very very seriously. Desperately wants you to think it’s smart and cool.
  • David Letterman: The Last Grownup In Comedy

    4 Apr 2014 | 10:52 am
    Excerpt from New York Magazine Article (Peter W. Kaplan, Sept. 2009) Somehow, without anyone looking, David Letterman has superseded the usual TV categories of comic, or talk-show host, or broadcaster. He paces the stage at night worrying about the Afghan-election recount and generally free-associating about the flies and vultures flapping around in his head. His nightly broadcast from Broadway has become a weird and great American entity unto itself, a blurred throwback, an amalgam of the tradition he came from: Johnny Carson, Edward Murrow, Jack Paar. And the most middle-American of…
  • @BillDixonish

    25 Mar 2014 | 11:28 am
    @BillDixonish
  • Andy Sandford's "me the whole time" Out Today

    25 Feb 2014 | 6:26 pm
    Andy Sandford's "me the whole time" Out Today: Dangatorium Contributor Andy Sandford has a comedy album and it is so fucking out today.
  • Photo

    24 Feb 2014 | 5:04 pm
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The D-MAIL

  • LOST - Rewritten

    'D'
    9 Apr 2014 | 9:57 am
    The whole world is abuzz and curious to find out more about the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Every media source is on the job, sending their best journalists, Psychics and swimmers to the probable sites. What they don't know is that the plane crashed just on the outskirts of the Banana Republic, our home base. Now, after decades of keeping the spot a secret, secreter than the Bat-cave, which is still underground at 221B Boiler Street (Sorry Bats), we're under the moral and ethical dilemma. The question here is, should we announce the crash site of the plane and risk revealing our hide-out or…
  • It's Time To Get Serious!

    'D'
    31 Oct 2013 | 10:30 am
    The Dark Metamorphic Amorphous Illicit Literature, yeah, The D-Mail. So basically, all this time we made you laugh, we provided you with puns and innovation in Language with our torture techniques, but I guess with time, everything changes; and it's definitely time for us to become something bigger, something Better. And so, we have for you a new kind of posts. This Label puts D'N'A at their wit's end. Of course, you'll see the classic puns and humor sprinkles, but we're moving to a new realm, that of Seriousness, a very serious kind of Humor. The kind that makes you laugh...then think and…
  • Confession Congestion

    'D'
    17 May 2013 | 8:04 am
    Bless me Father, for I have sinned.... I know you're a busy man, but please take time to listen to my confession...After Angry birds, Justin Bieber, Gangnam Style and the ilk, We Attention Seeking Super-agitated (ASS) kids are rooting for a new trend, Confession Pages. I know an old-timer like you wouldn't know much about confessions so I'll have to be explicit, yet brief (you never know when an old-timer would clock-out):One of the most sacred and traditional practices starts off with His Most 'Hole'yness, The Admin, an insomniac jobless nerd creating a page on a social network and The…
  • How to Fool the Salesman

    'D'
    24 Sep 2012 | 8:07 am
    Face it, You've been there, I've been there. There's no end to Travelling Salesmen. No end to their techniques. Thousands are fooled and millions are pestered from their quiet evenings by these blood-sucking maggots. How many time d'you hear "Good Evening Sir, TODAY we're giving away free...." or "We're conducting a survey...."? The intention is to Surprise you or (in our words) BAIT you and when you fall for it, at the right time, they move in for the kill "ALL this is complementary, you just have to buy..." or "This is a One Time offer for only....". I hope you get the gist of what I'm…
  • Me Me and More Memes

    'D'
    27 Jul 2012 | 9:26 am
    Well If you thought we're gonna stop at that (The ten odd memes we posted), then you're wrong. We're gonna pour out our hearts through memes so that you get tired of them and start making an effort to READ (you lazy oafs). Here's to a healthy internet life.. All the information provided on the website is for entertainment purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our writings. If anyone…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Joanna Ryde - International Superstar

  • Beat Fleet Auditions

    24 Apr 2014 | 7:00 am
    The Beat Fleet are like a street team that work for Beat 102 103 and so I thought I’d go along and have a bit of laugh with the auditionees, see if they were up to my tough standard. It went well and some of the people you hear on this report actually got the job! I put in a good word! www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Eurovision 2014 - Portugal

    24 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    Portugal have been entering a long long time and have never come close to winning. Let’s not lie, they aren’t going to be close to it this year either. What in the name of all that is holy is this crap? It’s like something you’d hear as the poolside entertainment on your Budget Travel fortnight in Albufeira. This is down near the bottom with the juries and rightly so. The song is Quero ser tua by Suzy and it’s about 20 years too late for the competition. Poor Suzy! I’m going to enjoy slagging her over the next few weeks! www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Seen It All

    24 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Blood Brothers

    23 Apr 2014 | 7:00 am
    Blood Brothers is a play about brothers from Liverpool who fight over a women, at least that’s what I think it’s about. I spoke to the cast of the production that was on here in Waterford and this is what happened. They were a gas crowd! www.JoannaRyde.com @JoannaRyde
  • Eurovision 2014 - Poland

    23 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    I love this! It’s like a bit of fresh air in the Eurovision. It’s Donatan and Cleo with We Are Slavic. It’s the type of thing I’d have on my iPod. Actually, I don’t have an iPod. It’s not the usual type of Eurovision song so don’t know how well it’ll do. It’s the best that Poland have had in years. I can’t wait to see what it looks like live. I hope they have loads of girl dancers and have them all twerking! That’d be fun. I really want this to do well although not sure how the juries will go. Think the public will like it more. Happy for Poland! Well done lads!
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • What is Pine Tar, and Why Do We Care?

    Lori Culwell
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:34 pm
    BY LORI CULWELL OK, a news headline just went by, and I honestly had no idea what it was or why I would care, so I looked it up so you wouldn't have to. Here's the headline:  Michael Pineda ejected for having pine tar on neck. Here's what is going on with that:  Michael Pineda is the pitcher for the New York Yankees.  Two weeks ago, he was spotted with pine tar on his palm, but he didn't get kicked out of the game until TODAY, when he apparently had pine tar on his neck.  Did he wipe his neck with his hand?   Does he STORE the pine tar on his neck to later put it on his hand so that he…
  • The Five "Health Foods" That Are Actually Terrible For You

    Lori Culwell
    23 Apr 2014 | 8:01 am
    Oh yes, we're back with another video. This time we're discussing five "health" foods (like Sun Chips) that are actually really bad for you.
  • Who throws out a giraffe statue? Or....who BUYS a giraffe statue?

    Lori Culwell
    19 Apr 2014 | 5:40 pm
    via Instagram
  • We Try Disgusting Foods. Watch Our Reactions!

    Lori Culwell
    14 Apr 2014 | 11:21 am
    Oh yes, we did another video. In this edition, we sample foods that seem like they are going to be disgusting. Surprise! They are. Please watch this to see our reactions.
  • More Video Funny!

    Lori Culwell
    7 Apr 2014 | 4:50 pm
    Thank you ever so much for your kind reception of our video that I put up on Friday.  Because the winter was so very, very long, of course we made more than one of these delightful videos, and here is the next one in the series.   Here we are covering actors who were so psycho in film/ tv roles, we are surprised they worked again.  Does it surprise you that I would bring up Ted Levine from Silence of the Lambs?  It should not.  He haunts my dreams.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Older Women Rock

  • Alcohol getting you down? For Those Tired of Being Sick and Tired

    Lilac Lily
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:40 am
    Alcohol promises so much doesn't it?     We have been manipulated, programmed and hoodwinked by a media that brainwashes us into believing that guzzling alcohol will make us look sexy, cool, rich and just plain successful. What adshows a sloppy drunk, that looks like hell, buying their beer?  But hey, you have been asleep in a nightmare long ago.  Hasn't this boring addiction taken enough of your precious time? I know you have tried. Why is it that often, when you are at your best, the dark cloud of temptation comes over you like a…
  • Dare to D-R-E-A-M. What the heck do you have to lose?

    Lilac Lily
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:38 am
    Thinking, "Ok, yea, be more positive!  I have tried and it does not work. How do i do it? Collect inspiring wisdom every day. Start with this if you like, I have changed it a bit for more personal impact: “When I advance confidently in the direction of MY DREAMS, and endeavor to live the life which I imagine, I meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I have put some things behind me, and have passed an invisible boundary; New, Universal, and more Liberal laws will begin to establish themselves AROUNDand within him; old laws ARE NOW Expanded, and Interpreted in MY Favor  in…
  • From the Waltz to Twerking

    Lilac Lily
    29 Jan 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Now that we got a leg up, so to speak, in our society, why do these females use it to climb up a pole or follow the new crone;  twerking?  Why this groveling to please a less intelligent humanoid? Females pumping those check butts up and down with half their tongue sticking out, making anyone that happens to be in the same vicinity, embarrassed.  What the hell happened? Its sad when even the cheek butts look more embarrassed at being exposed this way than these clueless females!  At these rate they will be licking the floor soon, and competing at who does it better.
  • Binge-Viewing is so much fun I am surprised it's not illegal!

    Lilac Lily
    24 Dec 2013 | 12:11 pm
    So finally some technology that I can definately get behind. Binge Viewing Fans! Binge watching pillow by Bloomwhereurplanted Check out other Binge viewing Pillows at zazzle.com What can be more delicious than  an evening watching seasons of  favorite program with no commercials in pajamas?  If they had told me a life without any type of TV commercials would  be possible not so long ago, I would have said "dream on you fool!" This is really a life changer as far as TV watching is concerned.   This is serious. The Oxford Dictionaries announced the…
  • Dare to D-R-E-A-M. What the heck do you have to lose?

    Lilac Lily
    10 Jul 2013 | 12:42 pm
    Thinking, "Ok, yea, be more positive!  I have tried and it does not work. How do i do it? Collect inspiring wisdom every day. Start with this if you like, I have changed it a bit for more personal impact: “When I advance confidently in the direction of MY DREAMS, and endeavor to live the life which I imagine, I meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I have put some things behind me, and have passed an invisible boundary; New, Universal, and more Liberal laws will begin to establish themselves AROUNDand within him; old laws ARE NOW Expanded, and Interpreted in MY Favor  in…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Funny pictures and photos

  • Cute rabbit picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    5 Apr 2014 | 10:56 am
    Hello. I am pretty sure you loved animals. Everybody will love this cute rabbit and will tell what a cute pet. Don't forget to show it to your friends in Facebook, Twitter, etc. because I am pretty sure it made you smile! :) Also, check out this Cute dog pic.
  • Cool dog illustration

    Plamen Ivanov
    8 Mar 2014 | 2:49 pm
    Hello everybody. Today I am going to show you a cute dog illustration that I am sure you will love! I will also tell you how you can get one easy by a professional: ---> Cool illustration for you
  • Funny dog picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    21 Feb 2014 | 10:41 am
    This is a nice and funny dog pic that will make you smile! Do you love dogs? They are so cute animals. I am sure you will like this cute dog photo where the husky things it's fat...By the way, here are a few very good weight loss tips.
  • Funny computer picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    31 Jan 2014 | 9:07 am
    Hello. I found one really nice and funny computer pic... It will show what will happen if somebody is addicted to his PC... Share with friends!By the way, this is a great article that will show you how to fix all your PC problems: How to clean your computer.
  • Funny cartoon picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    16 Jan 2014 | 6:21 am
    Hello. This funny cartoon pic will make you smile for sure. It's a really nice and it describes how can a duck shoot a man! I am sure you will like it...Also, check another cool and funny cat pic.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pirate Therapy

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Apr 2014 | 12:30 pm
    Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a blood-curdling scream, and then a thump. A … Continue reading →
  • Lucinda at the Laundrette of Shattered Hope

    Mark A. Rayner
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:32 am
    Lucinda was a dreamer. Someday, she knew that her Mom would return with the waffle iron and say she was sorry; perhaps even share her delicious recipe for Translucent Liquid Essence of Bran. She watched as Betsy came back to … Continue reading →
  • Ask General Kang: If my foreign policy is a failure, do I have to admit it?

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Apr 2014 | 6:51 am
    Hell no! If you can’t blame the failures of your policy on some flunky (or opposition party, if you’re unlucky enough to be ruling in a “democracy”) then what kind of leader are you? The best option is to say … Continue reading →
  • Death by gluten

    Mark A. Rayner
    2 Apr 2014 | 7:54 am
    Alltop is chewy with humor.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Chandra Clarke

  • Dogged Determination

    Chandra Clarke
    13 Apr 2014 | 11:57 pm
    Chandra Clarke This week, from the department of teaching old dogs new tricks: Bonnie Bergin wants you to teach your dog to read. Bergin, who is well-respected as a dog trainer and who also has a background in human education, says the idea isn’t as far… er… fetched as you might think. She reminds us that dogs […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Down The Garden Path

    Chandra Clarke
    20 Mar 2014 | 5:15 pm
    Chandra Clarke It seemed like a good idea at the time. The first item on my “to do” list today was “fix up garden.” Having done most of the hard work last fall, it was just a matter of clearing out winter debris, pulling a few stray plants, and planting the spring bulbs. Two hours work, tops, […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Stupid Is As Stupid Doesn’t

    Chandra Clarke
    6 Mar 2014 | 9:13 am
    Chandra Clarke File this one under “if only.” Some time ago, German scientist, Hans-Hilger Ropers, announced he was testing a pill that reduces the hyperactivity of certain brain cells, which in turn stabilizes short term memory and improves attentiveness. The researcher claims to have used it successfully with fruit flies and mice; a German newspaper dubbed it […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Pluto, We Hardly Knew Ye

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Feb 2014 | 8:10 am
    Chandra Clarke As anyone who works in academia can tell you, researchers get into bitter fights over obscure things all the time. Archeologists clash over the dating of Mongolian pottery sherds. Entomologists can come to blows when discussing the mating rituals of a nursery spider. Network theorists, meanwhile, will have Hatfield vs. McCoy style fights over clustering […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Tales From The Crib

    Chandra Clarke
    8 Feb 2014 | 10:09 pm
    Chandra Clarke The healthcare industry uses a lot of euphemisms. You’ll be familiar with many of these: A doctor will tell you “this may sting a bit,” right before jabbing you with a six-inch needle. The warning label on your prescription will mention “some side effects,” which might include stroke, heart attack or seizures. Getting a private […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    stuffwecomeupwit

  • Volkswagen Service Excellence

    stuffwecomeupwit
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:31 am
    Volkswagen Service Excellence   At the present time, modern cars require more maintenance than before and increasingly the customers are complaining about the quality of services that automakers offer, along with the high prices to service their cars. People tend to seek for a certified and experienced technician but unfortunately they don’t get them and the service.  This is the reason I’ve decided to l talk to you about Volkswagen new program called Volkswagen Service Excellence, its offering competitive services and programmes to keep your car performing at its peak. Even the…
  • Total Lubricants Nissan

    stuffwecomeupwit
    16 Apr 2014 | 8:14 am
    Total Lubricants Lubricants play a major role in the functioning of powerful turbo engines, they help to optimize vehicle performance, protect the engine and avoiding wear and deposits. Total Lubricants is one of the most recognized lubricants brands worldwide, known for performance and innovation, it has lately made a new technological partnership with Nissan to include the innovative prototype Nissan ZEOD RC, this latest partnership confirms the giant reputation and the innovative strategy of Total which based mainly on producing high quality lubricants. Total is the world’s…
  • Shell Helix Campaign – Win a F1 Trip With Shell Helix

    stuffwecomeupwit
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:34 am
  • Emirates Airlines: Cristiano Ronaldo named as Global Ambassador

    stuffwecomeupwit
    7 Apr 2014 | 6:09 am
    Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid forward, Portuguese captain and winner of the FIFA Ballon d’Or 2013, becomes Emirates Global Ambassador, it’s what the Official FIFA Worldwide Partner announced in the press conference, held in Madrid, the airline also premiered a new campaign video featuring the football superstar alongside Brazilian legend and fellow Global Ambassador for Emirates, Pelé. The most expensive and highest-paid footballer in the world, Cristiano, has being chosen to represent the Airline to be their newest Global Ambassador, we can see him along with football legend Pelé…
  • Henkel – Detergents & Disinfectants

    stuffwecomeupwit
    3 Apr 2014 | 8:10 am
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Daft Gadgets Daily Rant

  • RC Vehicle Will Not Start When Starter Cord is Pulled

    Jason Scott
    1 Apr 2014 | 5:32 am
    Concern: My vehicle will not start up when I pull the starter cable. Solution: The initial point that lots of brand-new owners of Nitro Cars should understand is that a Glow Plug Igniter is required. The Glow Plug Igniter needs to be completely charged before affixing it to the glow plug. If it is totally charged and it is affixed to the Glow Plug a good connection will be made. Secondly, if the above is done correctly you need to inspect to see if the problem is that gas is reaching the carburetor. This can be accomplished by holding your finger over the exhaust opening and providing a…
  • RC Air Filters: A Quick Tip on Protecting Your Redcat Racing Engine

    Jason Scott
    24 Mar 2014 | 5:50 am
    Be it a gas or nitro engine, the most vital thing you can do is keep the evil dirt and wetness out. Dirt is the most harmful predator to a gas or nitro engine and we can keep it out with correct air filter upkeep. Keep your air filter clean and make use of air filter pretreatment oil. A Clean air filter A clean redcat air filter permits your engine to breathe effectively. A blocked air filter will trigger an engine to run rich, which will not harm the engine, simply trigger poor efficiency. If the filter is covered in dirt, it might trigger some air to slip into small spaces in between the…
  • 10 Quick and Easy RC Racing and Setup Techniques

    Jason Scott
    17 Mar 2014 | 9:30 am
    Great ideas from rccaraction.com on how you can prepare and setup for a race. 1. Neutral Setup Go with the box-stock setups and set up the popular tires at your track. When you do begin making modifications, make one at a time and see how it affects or improves your car’s performance. As you get a feel for the track design and your vehicle, gradually make your setup more aggressive. 2. Standards After your race, don’t focus too much on your lap times. When your average lap times get closer to your fastest lap time, you know you are improving. Everything else will fall in place. 3.
  • Using Thread Lock For Redcat Racing Parts and Other RC Hobbies

    Jason Scott
    13 Mar 2014 | 6:06 pm
      Making use of thread lock to secure device screws is typical practice in the RC market. Did you realize cleansing the threads with rubbing alcohol prior to using the thread locker will guarantee a much better bond? RC fuels, shock oils, and greases prevent the thread locker from working correctly, creating a weak bond. This can cause screws falling out and your new Redcat Racing hop ups falling off right in the middle of a race (how annoying) Threadlock is created to be made use of where metal threads are placed into metal threads so it isn’t really extremely efficient on plastic…
  • How to Adjust the Slipper Clutch In Redcat Racing Cars and Trucks

    Jason Scott
    10 Mar 2014 | 5:54 pm
    Numerous RC cars are geared up with a modifiable slipper clutch. This slipper clutch has 2 major functions, the first being security. When adjusted correctly, the slipper clutch secures the whole drive train by providing a little slip throughout high bursts of power or other times the drive train undergoes shock. An example of this would be a crash. The RC vehicle stops, but the motor is still attempting to turn the wheels. An additional example would be landing a jump with your finger on the trigger. The unexpected stop in wheel spin could otherwise strip the gears. Traction control is the…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Love and Knuckles

  • True Tori Recap: The Fall of the House of Spelling/McDermott

    Kate
    23 Apr 2014 | 3:56 pm
    HerSTORY Tori Spelling wants us to know her story. Apparently we’ve all been in the dark. So forget about her show So Notorious or the installments of Tori & Dean: Inn Love, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, Home Sweet Hollywood, Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings, and Tori & Dean: Cabin Fever. Disregard her autobiography sTori TELLING or her follow up books Mommywood and Uncharted terriTORI. This time we get to hear what really transpired in her marriage over the last few months because she’s invited two camera men, a grip, a story runner, and their assistants…
  • Salma Hayek and I Offer Differing Beauty Tips

    Kate
    22 Apr 2014 | 4:40 pm
    Salma Hayek was kind enough to offer us some of her beauty tips. She’s got her own makeup line now sold at CVS. I am thrilled because I believe an international actress with access to the very best estheticians, plastic surgeons, dietitians, stylists, and makeup and hair stylists money can buy can really offer me very practical advice on looking my best, especially if I can find her cold cream at my local pharmacy. For example: “The purpose of makeup is to look like you have none on. If you’re unsure of your best blush color, look at the inside of your mouth. That will give you a…
  • Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: What Happened to the Potatoes?

    Kate
    21 Apr 2014 | 10:18 pm
    Brooks is Back Vicki took Brooks back to the surprise of her tablemates. Not exactly the best news to share over shrimp cocktail, but after minutes in a therapist’s office she had come to the conclusion that it was worth it to fight for their relationship. After prayer and a quick glance at his almost empty bank account he came to the same conclusion. Her divorce was final a week so she did what any woman dating a freeloader would do, she invited him to move in with her. That way she could save the money on his rent and get to look at the veneers she bought first thing every morning.
  • I’m Beginning to Understand Spray Tan Addiction

    Kate
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:26 am
    Two weeks ago I had my photo taken. In an effort to look less pasty I got a spray tan. I jammed myself into a makeshift tent, disrobed, and had a complete stranger point a spray gun at my crevices so I could look like I had actually seen the sun. I was instructed to wait 12 hours before showering and told to forego a bra so that my new skin cover could dry evenly. My husband was horrified that his normally fair wife had suddenly turned into Magda from Something About Mary. “It’s supposed to look less blotchy after I shower tomorrow,” I explained. He waited until the next…
  • My Easter With Barry Manilow

    Kate
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:40 pm
    Swifty On Sunday Taylor Swift surprised a fan by showing up unannounced to her bridal shower in Columbus, Ohio. She found the invitation while going through fan mail. “I had no idea it was going to happen,” the bride Gena Gabrielle said on the “Today” show. “[Taylor] said she planned it with her management and her mom. She said it was all worth it because my face was priceless.” I would like to take this opportunity to ask Barry Manilow if he would come to my Easter brunch on Sunday. Barry Me I know it is short notice, but a girl can dream. Here’s…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Idle Lord

  • One Foot in the Sawdust

    Steve
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:47 am
    I saw this on Facebook courtesy of Animal Rights UK and make no apologies for showing this to my worldwide audience, which is probably about as small as the remaining African lions. On further research this story dates back three years so maybe someone has got it in for the weasel in the picture; on […] Continue reading ... One Foot in the Sawdust.
  • The Beautiful Old Game of Cricket

    Steve
    11 Apr 2014 | 6:09 am
    English fans are used to getting stuffed by the Dutch, but normally at football and not cricket. After a winter tour that the English Cricket Board (ECB) would like to forget, defeat by Holland in the World T20 was almost predictable. Complacency was a word trotted out in the aftermath and perhaps this emanates from […] Continue reading ... The Beautiful Old Game of Cricket.
  • In A Land of Make Believe

    Steve
    4 Apr 2014 | 8:47 am
    Strangely, I woke up singing the other morning. Even worse was the song – “Land of Make Believe” by Bucks Fizz, the original contrived band, pre-dating anything Simon Cowell has come up with. How does a song as bland as this stay in your head without the aid of LSD…which I have never taken…Mum! And […] Continue reading ... In A Land of Make Believe.
  • Rise Up My City of Ruins

    Steve
    27 Mar 2014 | 10:29 am
    My Hometown I am a Bradfordian, born and bred, still living in this tired old place although long since able to admit to being proud to do so. It’s my home and yet admitting to this has, for many years now, opened me and countless others up to much lampooning and the occasional dose of […] Continue reading ... Rise Up My City of Ruins.
  • No Country for Grumpy Old Men

    Steve
    21 Mar 2014 | 10:28 am
    Do we get grumpy when we get to a certain age? Or is it that we simply feel the need to question more about everyday life as we get older and more understanding of that which just does not seem right anymore? My dad always seemed to moan like hell – admittedly, usually when The […] Continue reading ... No Country for Grumpy Old Men.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Barb Best

  • Humoraholics Anonymous

    Barb Best
    23 Apr 2014 | 7:45 am
      You’re in the right place, friends. This is the weekly meeting of HA – Humoraholics Anonymous. Welcome, all! Well, I see many horrified new faces here tonight. No fear. We have enough caffeine and sugar on the back table to blow your frazzled minds – and most likely feed a few additional addictions. Ha, […] The post Humoraholics Anonymous appeared first on Barb Best.
  • I Feel Your Pain

    Barb Best
    15 Apr 2014 | 12:13 pm
      “My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain.” ― Charles Chaplin     What’s causing your PAIN today? Some suggestions: Taxes, taxes, and more taxes – especially if you live in NJ, NY, CA, or CT! Toenail fungus removal Pet DNA registration […] The post I Feel Your Pain appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 25 MORE Reasons I DON’T Sleep!

    Barb Best
    10 Apr 2014 | 10:02 am
      Damn, I’m tired!  Are you, too? Are YOU getting enough sleep? What keeps YOU up at night? 25 MORE Reasons I Can’t Sleep! 1) Dog needs to pee. 2) I need to pee… again. 3) The cat suffers from restless leg syndrome and is kicking me in the private parts. 4) Celebrity baby names […] The post 25 MORE Reasons I DON’T Sleep! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Erma Bombeck * Mirth Mother

    Barb Best
    5 Apr 2014 | 4:26 am
      THANK YOU ERMA! We baby boomers share a common “Mirth Mother” in beloved humorist and best selling author Erma Bombeck. We were weaned on Erma’s wise and witty columns via newspaper clippings that our mothers proudly posted on the refrigerator door (this served as a blog in ancient times.) While many of our mothers […] The post Erma Bombeck * Mirth Mother appeared first on Barb Best.
  • AATH: Send In The Clowns

    Barb Best
    28 Mar 2014 | 8:55 am
      Send in the clowns! AATH is The Association for Applied & Therapeutic Humor - THE home for humor and laughter professionals. Their 27th annual humor conference is April 3-6 in Vincennes, Indiana.             Everyone loves to laugh, but did you know that therapeutic humor is a valuable tool to […] The post AATH: Send In The Clowns appeared first on Barb Best.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • That’s great slimming advice hope you choke on skinny pants

    Amy Vansant
    23 Apr 2014 | 6:21 am
    I was doing a little online shopping when I spotted a sale on “shape shifters;” clothes that make you look slimmer than you are. Usually, my “slimming trick” is to just never go out in public and only post 10 year-old photos to my social media accounts, but I was willing to give these tricky smocks a chance. After all, the little extra cushion around my middle isn’t my fault. Why should I have to own it?  It isn’t like I invented Cadbury Caramellos. It’s not like I invented Nutella. It’s not like I invented dipping a Cadbury Caramello…
  • Old Lady Death Cake

    Amy Vansant
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:13 am
    Some people sleep easy at night, safe in the knowledge that when they grow old, their kids will take care of them. Those are the rules: You feed and diaper your child, and when you get old, it’s payback time. But some people don’t have kids, either by choice or circumstance. Some people do have kids, but those bundles of joy grew into self-centered ingrates who should have been traded to the circus for a trick llama. At least the llama wouldn’t have run away to Costa Rica to start a “surf band.” At least the llama could have been rented out for…
  • New Book! Moms Are Nuts – Great Mother’s Day Gift!

    Amy Vansant
    9 Apr 2014 | 5:37 am
    New Book – Chock Full o’ Humor You want to see a SUPERSTAR line up of 26 humor writers? Wendi Aarons | Eliza Bayne | Dylan Brody | Matthew David Brozik | Becky Cardwell | Abbi Crutchfield | Sean Crespo | Gloria Fallon | Carol Ray Hartsell | Abby Heugel | Debbie Kasper | Nancy Davis Kho | Kelcey Kintner | Cathy Ladman | Kurt Luchs  | Kelly Maclean | Vanda Mikolowski | Mary Laura Philpott | Lisa Page Rosenberg | Marinka | Arlene Schindler | Molly Schoemann | Susan Stobbart Shapiro | Suzy Soro | Amy Vansant | Peggy “Pearl” Vork-Zambory | Read More…
  • Dealing with a Niece Infestation

    Amy Vansant
    2 Apr 2014 | 5:45 am
    There’s no reason to be ashamed. A niece infestation can happen to anyone. It doesn’t mean you’re dirty. You just left the door unlocked and now the little buggers are everywhere. Like a glitter snake, shedding its skin as it walks through the door… Often the first sign of a niece infestation is the beeping of a large mini-van backing into your driveway bearing bumper stickers that boast “Soccer Moms Rock!” or “Mom’s Taxi” or “My Other Car is a Box of Franzia.” Nieces are hoarders by nature and always arrive with several…
  • Interview with Impressionist Jim Meskimen

    Amy Vansant
    26 Mar 2014 | 9:51 am
    If you’re a fan of impressionists, you’ve probably marveled at Jim Meskimen! See him there on the right? Hey, you know that guy. He’s that impression guy! Jim gets that a lot, and that’s why he and fellow impressionist Ross Marquand now have a series called The Impression Guys on Soul Pancake, which follows the hilarious trials and tribulations of two impressionists as they struggle to be recognized as real actors, and not just funny voices. You can now watch the full first season on YouTube. Did you know Jim was on Who’s Line is it Anyway? and America’s…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    lolriot.com

  • How to be awesome in 10 easy steps

    LolRiot!
    3 Apr 2014 | 1:04 am
    Look. We all know bein’ awesome ain’t easy. I’ll bet most of the time you sit back and wonder, “How in the world does that guy do it?” He gets the chicks. He has wicked nunchuck skills… Everyone thinks he’s totally awesome. Well. You no longer have to worry. With this 10 step program you [...]The post How to be awesome in 10 easy steps appeared first on .
  • Car Reviewer Infuriated By Luxury Car

    LolRiot!
    12 Mar 2014 | 4:24 pm
    It’s not often you come across reviews of high priced luxury items and the reviewer is legitimately disgusted and insulted by the product. At first you might think this is a video made by the Onion. Nope, it is a real review by Car Tech via CNET. This review is on the 2012 Aston Martin [...]The post Car Reviewer Infuriated By Luxury Car appeared first on .
  • Louis CK Asks Donald Rumsfeld If He’s A Lizard

    LolRiot!
    24 Feb 2014 | 12:33 am
    Back in 2011 former secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, made the rounds on various popular radio shows in an attempt to promote his memoir. Whoever it was on the Rumsfeld PR team that thought it would be a good idea to put him and Louis CK on the radio at the same time, obviously had [...]The post Louis CK Asks Donald Rumsfeld If He’s A Lizard appeared first on .
  • New Winter Olympics Event: Cat Curling

    LolRiot!
    14 Feb 2014 | 4:19 am
    In an attempt to capture the interest of the massive amount of internet users, the Olympic committee has added a new twist to traditional curling. Cat curling.The post New Winter Olympics Event: Cat Curling appeared first on .
  • Funny Pictures #134 (25 Pics)

    LolRiot!
    13 Dec 2013 | 4:58 pm
    The post Funny Pictures #134 (25 Pics) appeared first on .
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Navy Investigating the Blue Angels

    Johnny Robish
    23 Apr 2014 | 8:17 pm
    Navy Investigating the Blue Angels:  Documents show that the Navy have reassigned a former commander of the Blue Angels, its acrobatic fighter squadron, and is investigating allegations that the elite team of pilots was a hotbed of hazing, sexual harassment and other forms of discrimination.  If indicted, its unlikely they’ll get bail, because of the “flight risk.” Michigan Man Gets a Bionic Eye:  A Michigan man who suffered from a degenerative eye disease that left him blind can now see glimpses of his wife, grandson and cat thanks to a computerized “bionic eye.”  Sadly, the…
  • Man Facing Murder Charges Wants His “MURDER” Tattoo Removed

    Johnny Robish
    22 Apr 2014 | 8:32 pm
    Man Facing Murder Charges Wants His “MURDER” Tattoo Removed:   A Kansas man facing first-degree murder charges is trying to convince the state to bring in a tattoo artist to obscure or remove a giant “MURDER” tattoo he has on his neck before the trial begins, fearing it could prejudice his case.  Good idea!  I mean at the very least, I’d try and change the tattoo to read “MANSLAUGHTER!” White Supremacists Plant Racist Easter Eggs:  Parents in Henrico County, Va. report finding Easter Eggs with racist white supremacist messages on them while on a local Easter Egg hunt with…
  • No Charges for Teen Airline Stowaway to Hawaii

    Johnny Robish
    21 Apr 2014 | 8:53 pm
    No Charges for Teen Airline Stowaway to Hawaii:  The FBI says it will not prosecute a runaway teen who survived freezing temperatures and extremely thin air during a 5.5 hour flight to Hawaii after crawling into the wheel compartment of a Hawaiian Airlines jet.  The frazzled teen told police that about the only positive thing about his flight was at least he had more leg room than he would have had flying coach.   Two Men Shot at National Zoo:  Two men have been shot and injured just outside the National Zoo in Washington D.C., causing the zoo to be shut down.  Geez, its like a…
  • Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach

    Johnny Robish
    20 Apr 2014 | 8:18 pm
    Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach:  A 63-year-old Indian businessman who was having stomach trouble and difficulty going to the bathroom told his doctors he’d swallowed a water bottle cap out of anger after arguing with his wife, but surgery to remove the bottle cap instead revealed 12 small bars of gold, weighing nearly a pound and worth approximately $23,000.  Well, I’ve always heard its good to eat plenty of carats.  Talk about shitting bricks. Miley Cyrus’ Hospitalization Cancels Another Concert:  Miley Cyrus has had to cancel a second concert after being…
  • Creationist Says Dinosaurs Were on Noah’s Ark

    Johnny Robish
    19 Apr 2014 | 8:49 pm
    Creationist Says Dinosaurs Were on Noah’s Ark:  Noted creationist Carl Kerby claims that dinosaurs did accompany Noah on his Ark as the entire world was flooded, but just the younger ones.  If that’s the case, it makes you wonder why Noah didn’t name the boat “Jurassic Ark.”   Nessie Fans Claim Image on Apple Maps is Loch Ness Monster:  Loch Ness monster experts are all a-flurry that they might have located the mysterious Loch Ness monster through an image on Apple Maps which, when zoomed in very tightly, reveals a gargantuan shape with fins swimming in Loch Ness. …
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Laugh Button

  • Seth Meyers, Key & Peele among Time’s 100 Most Influential list

    Matt
    24 Apr 2014 | 8:27 am
    Time Magazine released it’s annual list of 100 Most Influential People. The list is often a who’s who of politics, industry, activism, leadership, art, and entertainment. The movers and shakers one might say. This year they highlighted the great work of two (technically three) people from the comedy community – Seth Meyers and Key & […] Seth Meyers, Key & Peele among Time’s 100 Most Influential list appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • May hosts for “Saturday Night Live” anounced including Andy Samberg who will also host a primtetime shorts special

    Matt
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:37 pm
    All of the hosts for May’s run of Saturday Night Live hosts have been announced. In addition to the already announced Andrew Garfield / Coldplay episode on May 3rd, Charlize Theron will host and SNL alum and recent Emmy Award winner, Andy Samberg will return to host for the first time. Samberg’s host session will […] May hosts for “Saturday Night Live” anounced including Andy Samberg who will also host a primtetime shorts special appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Ari Shaffir’s terrific web series “This Is Not Happening” to become a Comedy Central TV show

    Phil Rothermich
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:18 pm
    It’s official, Ari Shaffir’s fantastic web series This is Not Happening is going to make the full transition from the Comedy Central digital production arm CC:Studios, to a full television show on the network beginning with an 8 episode run this fall. This is Not Happening was an original web series developed by CC and […] Ari Shaffir’s terrific web series “This Is Not Happening” to become a Comedy Central TV show appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • The website from “Silicon Valley” exists in real life, get surfing

    Matt
    23 Apr 2014 | 8:57 pm
    Just to add to the awesome that is the new HBO/Mike Judge series Silicon Valley, the network has launched www.piedpiper.com, a website based on the app from the series. The site features a fully detailed description of the app (which lies greatly in line with the show’s main character) as well as some funny bios […] The website from “Silicon Valley” exists in real life, get surfing appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • VH1 cancels “Best Week Ever,” lays off a good chunk of its New York team

    Phil Rothermich
    23 Apr 2014 | 8:44 pm
    VH1 has officially laid off more than 10 staffers on it’s development team in New York. It wasn’t just bottom level employee’s either, the company said goodbye to Brad Abramson and Kari McFarland, both VPs of East Coast Production. In other words, they just said goodbye to a majority of their New York team. A […] VH1 cancels “Best Week Ever,” lays off a good chunk of its New York team appeared first on The Laugh Button.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Carly Bird

  • Trapped in a Room with a ZOMBIE!!

    Carly Walker
    17 Apr 2014 | 11:49 am
    The greatest piece of wisdom I have ever received at work came from my coworker John Shi. What zombie thing you ask? The ‘experience’ is called Trapped in a Room with a Zombie presented by Room Escape Adventures. Yes, there is in fact such a thing as having to problem solve your way out of a room with a zombie in it and for a limited time only you can participate. Don’t ask me details. My zombie team isn’t going until next week. All I know is: The zombie is on a chain that extends every few minutes There is a disclaimer about getting eaton by said zombie You have to…
  • Why You Should Walk Away From Car Salesmen and Mediocre Boyfriends

    Carly Walker
    12 Mar 2014 | 1:21 pm
    A few years ago, I needed a new car. I had finally killed my college vehicle that had become my second home and a loving graveyard for all of my mix tapes and fast food wrappers. Overwhelmed, I quickly went to the nearest dealership and test drove two cars. Within a half hour I was talked into potentially buying an orange Honda Fit by a salesman. Could I get it in the color I wanted? No. Was it long enough for my pencil arms? No. Was it the right price? No. Did it have a hatchback, a good warranty, and smell super nice? Yes. Lets take a second to let the stupidity sink in. I really wanted…
  • 11 Things To Do At Work Besides Working

    Carly Walker
    3 Mar 2014 | 11:55 am
    I lie every Monday morning. Someone gets in the elevator, we awkwardly make eye contact, and a millisecond of silence sets off a chain reaction of default small talk beginning with, “Ah man, back to the daily grind.” The conversation ends with someone grumbling in response at a very low decibel as we shuffle out of the elevator. But let’s be serious. What are we, lumberjacks? What daily thing am I grinding? Why do we say that? Some people have to walk into a coal mine on Monday mornings. I walk into an office with delicate Macbook Air computers and a meeting room with a leather…
  • Westside Wisdom: Hair Hacks From a Fortune Teller

    Carly Walker
    23 Jan 2014 | 1:31 pm
    I decided to start a new series on my blog called West Side Wisdom. Why? Because some of us thought we had street smarts only to move to LA and realize we were useless. Lucky for me, I live in a city that is a smorgosborg of human beings who have mastered life hacks worth noting. As a result, one of my goals this year is to stop looking at my phone when I go places, and start picking the brains of West LA’s finest. Round 1: Hair Hacks From a Fortune Teller I was at a beauty supply store pretending that my hair wasn’t over bleached and suffering from grocery store soap, when I met a…
  • Oh How The Tables Have Turned: An Open Apology to Husbandless Females

    Carly Walker
    2 Jan 2014 | 10:03 am
    “I couldn’t do what you do.” I had a friend tell me the other day as she debated about getting married at the tail end of her senior year of college. Her fear of graduating husbandless was confusing to me, until I remembered the way my brain used to think when I was going to school. For my friends who aren’t familiar with Utah or Idaho culture, a good majority of girls get married off before they graduate. I remember being halfway through school seeing 23-year-olds leave my college without a rock on their hand and thinking, “wow, that would be terrible.” I…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Don’t Touch That Cookie

    PBScott
    19 Apr 2014 | 11:24 pm
    Unfortunately in life, many people who know what is right and wrong, still choose the wrong path. Their selfish actions hurt others around them, and causes unnecessary misery. Their victims, unable to avenge themselves, often take comfort in the belief that somewhere down the line, whether in this life or the next, karma will eventually […]
  • Space Invaders At Earls Farm

    PBScott
    17 Feb 2014 | 7:11 pm
    Earl’s and his family have been growing corn at this location for generations now, and are used to having a difficult time with the crops. Recently however, in addition to the normal problems of drought, insects, and birds, Earl now has had to deal with the recurring problem of annual crop circles. We have been […]
  • The Things We Do

    PBScott
    1 Feb 2014 | 3:26 am
    Often throughout life, as I am happily enjoying myself, doing the exact thing that I chose to do at that moment, for some reason, some people will come up to me and ask me why I am doing that thing I am doing. Whether it is playing a video game, going for a walk, reading […]
  • Whistle Another Day

    PBScott
    7 Jan 2014 | 12:53 am
    My grandma asked me something a couple of decades ago now that I still think about from time to time, she asked “Why don’t I ever hear people whistling anymore? Men used to walk down the road whistling a tune in the morning, now it seems nobody does it anymore. Do people still whistle?” I […]
  • Bling Che Guevara Rap – Funny Che Shirt

    PBScott
    11 Dec 2013 | 7:38 pm
    You come with me, and we’ll move to the next border. The Man is after me, cuz I fought the world order. They say that I am a baddie, cause I kicked their ass, I stopped their fund delivery, diminished their stash. They thought they should control us, and that’s why we fought. I now […]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Irkitated

  • Why dating a guy with a beard isn't always a good thing

    Ed Irkitated
    18 Apr 2014 | 8:31 pm
    I don't have a beard. Instead, my face has a permanent 3 day stubble. I would say I have it because it makes me look rugged and manly, but in all honesty its just because I'm too damn lazy to shave every day. Plus, I think that if I had a beard I would look homeless.This is a guest post from Krissy who has a boyfriend with a huge beard. She also has her own very funny blog here and talks shit over on Twitter. Follow Irkitated on Social MediaGuest post - Why dating a guy with a beard isn't a good thingI should preface this rant by saying – yes, I'm dating a guy with a beard so…
  • Fashion is stupid

    Ed Irkitated
    15 Apr 2014 | 3:39 pm
    Australian Fashion Week has just wrapped up. I know this because it was all over the TV as everybody tried to get in on the action like it is going out of um... fashion.Every half-assed news network and TV program managed to do a feature from a runway show or launch of something, just so that they can seem like they are on the cutting edge, regardless of how stupid the whole fashion thing is.Apart from "the arts" industry, I have never seen a more ridiculous, idiotic, pathetic waste of time and money, than the bizarre parade of egotistical nutjobs that make up the "high-end" of the fashion…
  • When customer service becomes too much

    Ed Irkitated
    13 Apr 2014 | 4:59 pm
    I have never worked in customer service so I am handing this post to OverQuill who is back with his second guest post. You can find him on Twitter OverQuill. I don't know if he has worked in retail before but I can only assume by the tone of this post that he has.Guest post - When customer service becomes too muchThere's a threshold that exists. It is a wondrous, magical line that instantly transmogrifies any old commoner into a being akin to royalty. The threshold about which I write is not some odd portal that whisks people away and allows them to possess some distant monarch, like a…
  • Things which are more interesting than the Royal visit to Australia

    Ed Irkitated
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:00 pm
    I understand the point of the Royal family. Many hundreds of years ago, some people killed a load of other people to rightfully claim their spot as head murderer ruler of state.Fast-forward to today and you will find the descendants of the last person to get away with this, sitting on a throne whilst all of their distant family assumes an extravagant title, stacks of money and land rights. Whilst I'm not a fan of the idea of the monarchy itself in the modern day, I will admit that I don't dislike Harry, William and Kate. I find them quite entertaining. Just the thought of Prince Harry…
  • Assholes who park in disabled spots

    Ed Irkitated
    2 Apr 2014 | 10:19 pm
    There are some real assholes on the road as I have written about previously. Today I want to take focus away from the road though and talk about the carkpark. In particular, asshole parking and able-bodied people who park in disabled spots.There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to find a parking spot therefore, when you see somebody parked over multiple spaces or parked somewhere they shouldn't be, people are going to get annoyed. Nothing gets me more annoyed though, than somebody parked in a disabled spot when they are not entitled to park there. Follow on Social…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Ava Love Hanna

  • It’s Poetry Month!

    Ava Love Hanna
    3 Apr 2014 | 9:39 am
    I’m a poet. I always have been. And even though my writing of late has moved towards essays and magazine articles (money), I will always be a poet. I love to talk and will spend hours chatting away in person, but when I write I am minimalist, I want to conserve words, I want crystallized moments to explode off the page in just a few sentences. I love the power of poetry. I love its beauty and its truth. And on days when the world seems ugly and gray, I remember that human beings can write poetry and how amazing that it is, and I am filled with hope again. Despite April being the…
  • Bad Parents

    Ava Love Hanna
    21 Jan 2014 | 11:54 am
    This is where I’ll be on Wednesday night. Part of the FronteraFest Short Fringe, Bad Parents, will be at Hyde Park Theatre on Wednesday, Jan. 22 at 8 pm. The show is hilarious and was written by the über talented Max Langert, whom I met as an Austin cast member ofListen to Your Motherlast year. He and Tristan told touching stories about their mothers, while I was sharing one of my finer parenting moments: The Vagina-Mommy Incident. You can read more about the show and FronteraFest here: Bad Parents at FronteraFest The post Bad Parents appeared first on Ava Love Hanna.
  • Riding the Carousel

    Ava Love Hanna
    21 Oct 2013 | 6:59 am
    He wanted to ride the carousel at the mall. He’s five now, so I got on with him intending only to help him find an animal and climb up. The carousel was old and small, and wobbled as everyone climbed aboard. I put him on top of a brown horse with a flowing mane and wild eyes – It was a good fit. He grabbed onto the pole with both hands, leaned into it, trembled a bit and looked at me with worried eyes as he surveyed how high he was and felt the wobbling of the ride before it had even begun. He looked up and noticed that the pole was at its low point and asked me if it would go even…
  • Contemplative Ennui at the Blanton Museum of Art

    Ava Love Hanna
    19 Sep 2013 | 9:04 pm
    I am standing in a museum surrounded by marble statues of people from worlds long gone; they are echoes of some other unreal time. History is like that to me, it never feels real. I pick a bench in a sunny, windowed corner to sit and write. I’ve come here to try to dispel the dark clouds that have been chasing me this week… to try to numb the swollen ache in my heart. I thought the art might help, that it would give me something to look at so I could get out of my head for a little while. Maybe, it would ease some of this ridiculous pain. Instead, I feel every piece. It’s like…
  • Poem: Parents (Spoken Word)

    Ava Love Hanna
    31 Jul 2013 | 10:21 am
    This is my poem Parents, about the things every parent knows and every potential parent should be told.   Before I had a child, no one told me the real truth about parenting (spoiler: it’s awesome, but HARD). Actually, to be fair, they probably tried, but I just wasn’t paying attention: Yes, of course I’m listening: Labor sucks, they never sleep, they…. omg look how tiny these socks are! And there’s a tiny matching hat!! Nature is a jerk. It has a way of camouflaging  the truth. It made babies tiny and adorable because you cant really get mad at…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Witty Woman Writing

  • So You Want To Be An Acclaimed Writer When You Grow Up … You’re In Luck!

    Tammy
    22 Apr 2014 | 11:09 pm
    I’m going to do something today I’ve never done on my blog. Everyone has a story to tell, an authorship to own. Your ideas, your life, your imagination, all fall into the realm of brilliant possibilities. If you’ve ever wanted to write a book and become a published author, I’m going to make your day. […]
  • Think You Can Solve The World’s Problems? Don’t Bother, I’ve Done It For You.

    Tammy
    9 Apr 2014 | 1:04 pm
    With a ton of time on my hands these past few weeks, I’ve polished plant leaves until I can see my face in them, have bonded with the FedEx man, and cleaned my oven. So, I thought I would move on to bigger things, like addressing some of the world’s problems. Let me know what […]
  • Shut Up and Enjoy the View

    Tammy
    25 Mar 2014 | 11:01 pm
    First off, I’m so VERY SORRY for those duplicate posts that were sent out to you in the last couple of days. The cyber gods were clearly angry with me and I’m hoping the problem is fixed. A Christmas Post in March? That’s like a snowball in August. Why, I never! Now …. I’m into my […]
  • From Here To There … An Eternity

    Tammy
    18 Mar 2014 | 11:48 pm
    If you think that recuperating from foot surgery is serious business, you're in for some down home hilarity. Prepare to be proven wrong.
  • Payback’s a Bitch

    Tammy
    12 Mar 2014 | 12:15 am
    Not all that long ago, I wrote a blog post about how men are such babies when it comes to being sick or facing a “procedure”. HuffPost picked it up (God bless their little hearts) and I think I garnered the most hate mail in the history of Huffington Post blogs. It wasn’t what I […]
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Vote for Dogecar

    Daniel Repasky
    22 Apr 2014 | 8:57 pm
    Much speed! Very race. We already jokingly asked you to save Doge from evil frisbee, but now Doge is in need of some real help. Dogecoin enthusiasts, lead by Reddit’s /r/dogecoin community have forked over $55,000 in the form of over 100 million dogecoins to sponsor #98 Josh Wise’s car in NASCAR’s upcoming Telladega Speedway race. This will help promote the meme-based cryptocurrency to a larger audience, as well as showing NASCAR and other brands a whole new idea of crowdsourced financing is available. I wouldn’t be surprised if you see a whole lot more sponsorships…
  • NERF Nuke Launcher Nukes Relationships

    Daniel Repasky
    5 Apr 2014 | 6:17 pm
    This looks like a real doozy   14 of 16 people found the following review helpful  So powerful, I’m divorced now!, April 1, 2014 By Tom This review is from: NERF Nuke Launcher with Tripod (Deploys 80 Darts at Once) – Over 5 FEET LONG / YOU WIN! – Limited Edition My (ex) wife and I love(d) flirty Nerf battles with our one-shot Jolts, but our battles always ended in ties. That is, until I got this and nuked her good! Finally I WON!! But she got the house. Pros: Magazine capacity, accuracy. Cons: Damages relationships, proliferation will lead to cold war Help other…
  • The Best April Fools 2014

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Apr 2014 | 3:38 am
    Good April fools jokes seem to fix the bill of exactly zero people finding them helpful, so here are the best ones from 2014: #6: Toms + Uber = shuberX – “We simply don’t have the time to reinvent the wheel, so what if we un-invent it?” Get picked up in a cardboard box instead of a car. #5: Google looking for Pokemon Masters – Google is supposedly hiring somone with the requisite skills… in hunting pokemon, “We value employees who are risk-taking and detail-oriented, have deep technical knowledge, and can navigate through tall grass to capture wild…
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Ten!

    Daniel Repasky
    31 Mar 2014 | 4:19 am
    You’ve been waiting for it, now it’s here! Gif Sound Mashup Ten! http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup Ten! ►GifSounds used: 0:06 – Olympic Curling http://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/YCNiTCU.gif&v=MCqUESCoB1w 0:17 – Skiing http://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/JcwUkLd.jpg&v=wbWOVfY-rxU 0:28 – Back that ass up http://gifsound.com/?gif=d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/839385081.gif%3F1392557601&v=WL2txMU50CI&s=64 0:34 – Ima Bird…
  • WeenerKleaner Soap – It’s what you think it is

    Daniel Repasky
    29 Mar 2014 | 1:43 am
    Yep, “WeenerKleaner Soap” is exactly what you expect it to be: it’s just for hygiene guys… If you’re interested, here’s the link: $7.87 on Amazon   WeenerKleaner Soap – It’s what you think it is is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • Real Life Clash of Clans

    Greg Mischio
    21 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    Perhaps you’ve seen the hot video game sweeping the nation, Clash of Clans. With my latest epiphany, we’ve expanded the killing beyond the smartphone screen and into the everyday world. Now your family can kill other families – in real life! I have never played Clash of Clans, but from what I’ve seen, it has all the earmarks of a great video game: Violence, death, and people who look like Hulk Hogan having a bad hair day. My son plays it endlessly, using his open trigonometry book to prop up his smartphone. The other day, my friend Stu suggested we engage in a mutual Clash of…
  • Sleeping Assistants Boost Productivity

    Greg Mischio
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    Are you too busy? Do you find there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done? Instead of trying to cram more into your waking hours, make better use of your sleep-time with my latest “Sleeping Assistant” epiphany.” The inspiration for this epiphany comes to me from my friend Milt. A high-powered executive, Milt is forever on his laptop, checking his cell phone, and flying all over the country. “I rarely get more than four to five hours of sleep a night,” he yawned as he checked his smart phone. “I’d be better off if I never went to sleep.” With those words, ye…
  • The Study of All Those Irritating Studies

    Greg Mischio
    7 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    How I loathe those accursed research studies that state the completely obvious. The news media reports on them like they’re amazing new revelations, instead of statistically-backed validations of common sense. On the bright side, they’ve given rise to my latest epiphany: The Study of All Those Irritating Studies. What started it all? ‘Twas a typical Sunday morning, and I’d just sat down to read the morning newspaper. I had just taken my first slurp of coffee when the offending headline hit me right between the eyes: “Study Concludes Breathing is Key Factor in Sustaining Life.”…
  • Instilling Fear of Meteor Showers in Worrywart Moms

    Greg Mischio
    31 Mar 2014 | 6:00 am
    Why do we use the term “worrywart”? Wouldn’t it be more accurate to refer to chronic worriers as “mom”? Mommies tend to worry excessively about anything and everything, at least they did until my latest epiphany. (This week’s post features another guest illustration from Monica LaLanda!) My wife does her fair share of worrying. Always has. As a child, she saved her fingernail cuttings because she was worried that she’d hurt their feelings if she threw them away. (Howard Hughes has got nothing on my girl.) That kind of worrying has only intensified now that her concerns have…
  • Forcing Educators to Stop the Homework Avalanche

    Greg Mischio
    24 Mar 2014 | 6:00 am
    It’s typical to see a high schooler burdened with 4-5 hours of homework a night. Is there not some way to impart knowledge without keeping our young uns up till 3 am? There is now, with my latest epiphany: I make those accursed educators do homework too.  Most adults work only an eight-hour day, although a large portion of that time is spent bitching about having to work an eight-hour day. Once we hit eight, we quit. We despise taking work home. So why do kids have to do it? Especially teenagers? Let’s look at the research. The data shows sleep deprivation from excessive homework load…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    I Think Myself Happy

  • I am not Job

    Mike McCarty
    7 Apr 2014 | 7:13 pm
    I am at a point in my life that I can admit my shortcomings a bit easier than I could have twenty years ago.  I don't think it really has anything to do with me. I think it is just a maturing thing.  I know, that is a nice way of saying that I am getting older so I care less about what people think of me.  My kids think I have gone all Walmart.  You know what I am talking about if you have ever been there on a Saturday morning and witnessed a horde of people shopping in pajamas.  It's the same principle my wife explained to me when I made a comment about the....well...how do I…
  • French Lick...

    Mike McCarty
    28 Feb 2014 | 4:05 pm
    Do your kids every say things in public that make you cringe? Man, mine do.  And what is even worse is when I snap at them and they say something like, "well, you said that at home."  Or  "you laughed last time I said that." Clearly kids don't get that some things are funny at home and are not funny in public.  Kind of like burping and farting.  Real hoot in the living room.  Not funny at all when having dinner in a nice restaurant. Would this be considered double standards? I didn't think so. So last weekend my wife and I decided to get away for our…
  • Welfare for Weed

    Mike McCarty
    18 Jan 2014 | 9:23 am
    Have you ever had one of those "aha" moments when you knew that the world was going to be ok? I had one yesterday.  My 11 year old was home from school sick.  He was sitting on the couch while I was working in the office.  Evidently watching Fox News since he had already watched all the recorded episodes of Moonshiners, Dukes of Hazzard, Duck Dynasty and Shelby the Swamp Man.  And he had just spent the night at his grandparents where Fox News runs constantly. So I get a text from Evan:  "I just saw on the news that people in Colorado can buy weed with welfare checks."…
  • Cold Weather Induced High Blood Pressure

    Mike McCarty
    8 Jan 2014 | 1:24 pm
    I have been sitting in my house since Sunday thanks to Mother Nature. Have I ever mentioned I hate snow and I hate cold weather? Did I also mention I had taken almost 2 weeks off from work to have some quality family time?  Over the two weeks, boredom set in and our home more closely resembled a prison yard.  Fights breaking out over the TV remote.  Little girls tattling. Boys irritating the skin off their sisters.  I tried to hide and read but somebody would always find me.  Last Saturday we had friends over and after a couple cocktails I heard the words all parents were thinking…
  • Something is Wrong With Me

    Mike McCarty
    21 Dec 2013 | 7:19 am
    Here we go again.  I need to peel off another layer and admit I have no business being a father.  I'm not old enough. I've read all the books so I know all the right answers. The problem is reading all the right books is no help. I have learned that no matter what I say, my kids are going to do what I do, not what I say.  That's not fair.  I recently heard about a father who screamed "sh--"  in traffic with his kindergartner in the backseat.  Then I heard she screamed "sh--" from the back of her grandmother's vehicle when another car pulled out in…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    celticillumination

  • Celtic Illumination, part 379, It’s only the depth that varies.

    Peter Morris
    23 Apr 2014 | 10:04 am
    There is a wonderful public park in Liverpool called Sefton Park.  It is huge and has lots of attractions such as a boating lake, tennis courts, fountains, miles of pathways and of course, the café.  When I was with Natural Breaks I was invited in to the inner circle of support staff and given the most important tool that you could have in learning disabilities, like a Mason being given his silver trowel.  I was given the RADAR key to the disabled toilet. RADAR stood for the Royal Association of Disability and Rehabilitation.  The key will open over nine thousand disabled toilets in the…
  • Celtic Illumination, part 378, The function of freedom is to free someone else.

    Peter Morris
    22 Apr 2014 | 9:08 am
    What is it they often say?  “Be careful what you wish for, as it will come around and bite your arse!”  Well they do where I come from.  I can remember driving in to Liverpool on that first morning, the first morning that I had four houses to manage.  I wanted more, but I was terrified.  I wasn’t playing a game; I knew that I was actually dealing with individual lives and just how important that was.  I wasn’t out to prove that every social worker in the United Kingdom was a waste of space; they were doing a pretty good job of that themselves.  I felt that with the approach I…
  • Celtic Illumination, part 377, Responsibility is the price of freedom.

    Peter Morris
    21 Apr 2014 | 9:40 am
    I am going to ask you to imagine a square.  On the bottom right hand corner was the house that I managed where two people, Jimmy and Andrew, were supported to live in the community.  It always annoyed me that such a phrase was used, ‘supported to live in the community,’ because we couldn’t really let either of them out into the community unsupervised.  It truly was a misnomer and it did make me constantly question what was going on.  The only logical explanation I could come up with was that it was a small part of the government’s bigger plan to close down the NHS.  They could…
  • Celtic Illumination, Part 376, If you are not a part of the solution….

    Peter Morris
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:39 am
    It’s quite appropriate that today, Sunday, but not just any Sunday, Easter Sunday, I can announce a sort of rebirth, a new beginning.  But I’m not going to say anything until you lot are all sitting up straight, that means you Ed Mooney, sit up straight man, has no one ever taught you how to sit to attention?  Bloody civilians, he’s probably sitting there dreaming of a dry stone wall in a remote area of county Kerry.  And by the way Colonialist I don’t want to have to mention haircuts again!  Anyway, where was I?  Ah yes, it would appear that the Celtic Illumination blog, the…
  • Celtic Illumination, page 375, Education is light, lack of it, darkness.

    Peter Morris
    19 Apr 2014 | 7:25 am
    Despite the fact that I was an up and coming star in the learning disability world, well; to the people supported and hopefully most of the staff, I was a star, those in charge, the social workers, felt, I think, that I was more of a pain in the arse; it was all still secondary to me.  Apart from being the best dad in the world I was determined to be the most famous Irish novelist of the twenty first century and still have at least two days a week off.  Once I had re-arranged all the procedures in the house where Jimmy and Andrew lived things settled down.  I could put on a nice film for…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Plans for Nigel

  • Babies Are Gross

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    13 Apr 2014 | 7:03 pm
    Confession time again.This may not come as a huge surprise to some (most) people, but I don't like babies. Like at all.At first it was kind of a background little quirky thing that I liked to play up, but the older I've gotten and the closer to actual childbearing time, the more I've realized that I really actually can't stand babies, and I definitely can't stand children.Even as a child myself, I harbored a certain disdain for kids. I don't know what it is... maybe there's some broken piece of my psyche that makes it so I don't react correctly to the sound of a crying baby, or the smell…
  • Pillow Talk

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    31 Mar 2014 | 9:06 pm
  • The Comically Tragic Plight of the Chinchilla

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    2 Mar 2014 | 4:51 pm
    So... some of you will remember an earlier post that I wrote confessing that I don't believe in chinchillas. Turns out a surprisingly large number of people in this world are very adamant that chinchillas are, in fact, real, and have spent the last forever trying to prove their existence to me. I guess people will believe anything these days.I figured I would humor some of those poor delusional souls and let them make their case, just for argument's sake. This is what I learned from a coworker who is also a zoology major, and also Wikipedia...Let's start with what a chinchilla is, according…
  • I'm So Sorry

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    16 Feb 2014 | 2:03 pm
    Here is a story...Once upon a time, there was blogtoonist named Jackie. She didn't blog or toon very much because she had a mysterious brain condition that made all of her creativity fail her for months at a time. So please don't judge her. The end. I got all excited because Daniel got me a sweet new laptop that comes apart and magically transforms into a tablet, and I had all these grand plans for how I was going to draw cooler pictures than ever before! ...but then I couldn't think of what to draw, so I've mostly spent my time using the laptop to watch Netflix and YouTube videos of…
  • That Britney Song (You Know The One)

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    5 Jan 2014 | 9:40 pm
    So, here's a sad story.Once upon a time, I was very young, and then I turned 14 or so and put on like 40 pounds overnight. Which, I'll admit, wasn't that big of a deal since I was a tiny human being to begin with. That's not the sad part. After that, I stayed at the same size... forever.But then, TRAGEDY STRUCK! I got married!Okay, that wasn't tragic. What's tragic is the thing that happens to everyone (apparently) after they get married: I started putting on weight again. My mind was totally blown, because for the past six plus years of my life I had eaten whatever and not changed size…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Cerp CerkCerp Cerk » Category » Autocompletes

  • Can I Vacuum My Dog?

    admin
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:59 am
    …and we think it’s safe to say that pets should come with instruction manuals! If you’re asking if it’s safe to vacuum your pet, then please save your pet from future harm by calling the RSPCA on yourself. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “can I v” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? By the looks of it many of you have fetishes for vacuuming dogs. As it turns out the internet has spoken and said it’s fine to hoover the dog. Here’s one person’s response: It won’t hurt him, but it may bother…
  • Your Mother Was A Hamster

    admin
    7 Apr 2014 | 4:41 pm
    How dare you say our mother was a hamster… she still is! It’s not our fault our dad fell in love with a hamster. As you know, when you’re in love, it’s not long until baby making happens. We are a result of that and not one day passes where we are ashamed of her and what she is. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “your mother” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? Have you seen a little movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)? Well this autocomplete is down to a quote of that film: “Your…
  • What Do I Do If A Dolphin Wants To Mate With Me

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 4:08 am
    Hmmm, what should you do if a dolphin wants to mate with you? We dunno… kindly decline, maybe? Sorry Mr. polite dolphin with your long, sleek and sexy shapes, as much as I would love to, my mum and dad are expecting me back anytime soon. In fact, no, don’t flatter Mr. dolphin, he may take it the wrong way. Does it still work? It turns out this autocomplete was suggested by one of you guys, but as of 04/04/2014 we were unable to replicate it. Try it where you live and report back to us if it works or not. Why were people searching it? It turns out there’s a thread on a forum…
  • What If Google Was Deleted And We Couldn’t Google What Happened To Google?

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 3:48 am
    Oh god! Don’t even joke about something as serious as this! Is a world without Google even a world worth living in? We would have to do something crazy and use a search engine such as Ask Jeeves or even Lycos. The humanity! Does it still work? Yuss! This autocomplete worked as of 04/04/2014 by Googling: “what if Google“. Dem 4s! Why were people searching it? It seems the internet has had fun with this phrase. The most popular use for the phrase “what if Google was deleted and we couldn’t Google what happened to Google” seems to be an internet meme. Yahoo…
  • Do Iphone Even Work Or Is Everyone Just Pretending

    admin
    4 Apr 2014 | 3:33 am
    Yes, iPhones, damn you and your lower-case Is’! If it isn’t your one hour battery life it’s the voice control that comes on when it feels like it. We know we should have been an android user. In fact, we would even go as far as becoming a blackberry user. See what you’ve done to use, Apple? Does it still work? This one was suggested by one of you nice people. Thanks! As it turns out, we could only managed to get the version “do iphones even work or is everyone just pretending” – the none swearing version – but Googling “do iphones…
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Conspiracy Theories ...from the Reality Challenged

  • There's No Age Limit on Funny

    Sandra Creason
    2 Apr 2014 | 6:30 am
    My 18 year old niece told me not too long ago that she loved hanging out with me because I acted like I was her age.I don't know if this is a good thing or not, considering that I'm 31 29.Sure, I don't see anything wrong with laughing at farts and making a running gag out of that one time the girl in Secret Life said "do you ever think of anything but sex" (wait for it), but there seems to be this expectation that once you reach a certain age, have kids, and can hold a steady job that doesn't involve asking people what kind of dipping sauce they'd like with their chicken nuggets, you have to…
  • Dear Internet

    Sandra Creason
    26 Mar 2014 | 7:32 pm
    WARNING:  Since I’m addressing some of the random, crazy things I’ve encountered in everyday *normal* use of the internet, there is some adult content in this post.  Don’t get too excited, there aren’t any naughty pictures.Also, I’m totally aware that the internet is not a person, but since I don’t know anything about it other than how to blog, operate Facebook, and create obnoxious memes, I’m just going to address this to “internet.”     Every word in the English language does not directly translate to “vagina.”No matter which you use as…
  • Throwback Thursday - Glamour Shots

    Sandra Creason
    20 Mar 2014 | 10:37 am
    I'm dating myself here, but if you grew up in the 90's, you'll remember the whirlwind fad that was Glamour Shots.For those of you who are too young to remember, or who were there for this catastrophe and have developed selective memory loss to avoid thinking about it, Glamour Shots was basically you (or your mom, in most cases) paying a creepy looking guy in the mall to cake clown makeup on your face, dress you in tube tops and boas, tease and Aqua Net your hair to oblivion, and take pictures in incredibly uncomfortable positions under really bad lighting.Read more »
  • 3 Things That are Destroying America

    Sandra Creason
    19 Mar 2014 | 7:33 pm
    I'm going to apologize right off the bat, because this is a really long post -  but I figure that since I went without posting for so long, it evens out.I have issue with all the hollering about morality being lost in America, what with the "Gays throwing their agenda in everyone's faces" and those pesky garden gnomes taking over world travel and all.  I'm offering you good deals, but really I'm bartering for your soul.Read more »
  • Technical Difficulties... Again

    Sandra Creason
    17 Mar 2014 | 11:46 am
    I spent all morning writing a wicked-awesome post to make up for all the non-posting I've been doing lately... and Blogger hates me.I'm unable to upload pictures and the page breaks aren't inserting properly, so I'm delaying posting until these issues get worked out so that you, dear readers, can experience the full, long-winded majesty that is my next post.  I know, it's soooo disappointing, but stay tuned!  More to come soon!~Sandra  
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Do You Remember

  • Goodbye to Bread & Water?

    Serge Stevens
    24 Apr 2014 | 8:42 am
    In case you didn’t come to this conclusion on your own, I’m the sort of guy who’s always looking for signs that the world is coming to an end. Or at least civilization as we know it. I’m sorry, but I need to pass on this latest nugget, suggesting that maybe the end has already arrived. The New York Times—yes, the Times again; it’s the best newspaper in the world, if news of the world matters to you even a little bit—just ran a story by one of their food critics. The story was about the trend at restaurants, even very fancy ones, to not only ask if you want bottled water versus…
  • Wrigley Field Celebrates Its 100th

    Dre Weston
    24 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    Since it was constructed in 1914 on Chicago’s North Side, Wrigley Field has been one of the most atmospheric ballparks in professional sports. The second-oldest venue in MLB, it has been home to the Cubs for 98 years, and has been the site of many magical, controversial and unforgettable moments. From Babe Ruth calling his shot by pointing to a spot in the bleachers during the 1932 World Series and then hitting the next pitch to the exact place, to the curse of Billy the Goat, to Pete Rose’s 4,191st hit that tied him with Ty Cobb for the most in the history of baseball, to Steve…
  • It Happened Today – April 24

    Do You Remember
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Born this day: Barbra Streisand, 72 Willem de Kooning Shirley MacLaine, 80 1904: Painter Willem de Kooning 1934: Actress Shirley MacLaine, 80 1936: Actress Jill Ireland 1942: Singer Barbra Streisand, 72 1945: Drummer Doug Clifford, 69 1952: Designer Jean Paul Gaultier, 62   Talk of the day: Jane Fonda 1974: David Bowie releases Diamond Dogs. 1982: Jane Fonda’s first exercise tape is released.   Gone this day: Wallis Simpson, 89 1974: Comedian Bud Abbott, 78 1986: Socialite Wallis Simpson, 89   Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today – April 24 appeared…
  • 7 Rockin’ Remakes of Classic Songs

    Dre Weston
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:30 am
    On April 23rd, 1978, controversial rocker Sid Vicious filmed a performance of singer Paul Anka’s “My Way” as part of the Sex Pistols’ movie, The Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle. Far from being the first (or last) rock cover of work from a different genre of music, Vicious’ tribute is memorably passionate. As we look back on his version, DoYouRemember uncovers a few other rockin’ remakes that are better than the originals. Let’s see if your favorite made the cut. 7. Sid Vicious: “My Way” (1978) Vicious certainly lives up to his name with the way he explodes energy on this…
  • TODAY IN RETRO NEWS: Pharrell Does a New Take on Marilyn, and More

    Do You Remember
    23 Apr 2014 | 8:02 am
    Pharrell’s new single cover for his song “Marilyn Monroe” reimagines the iconic movie star’s look. -Instagram   Fox is developing a new Flash Gordon movie. -Indiewire   How do washed-up celebrities make a living? By going to cheesy conventions and signing autographs. -Vice   Casting for the new Star Wars movie is almost complete as the principal photography start date draws closer. EW   Post written by Do You RememberThe post TODAY IN RETRO NEWS: Pharrell Does a New Take on Marilyn, and More appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Week Cartoons

  • Killer Cat Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:07 am
    Killer Cat Cartoon Killer cat cartoons have become cliche but whatever, it’s because they’re funny as hell. Cats can be the nicest things, especially a tabby. But there’s, there’s something there, behind those dialated pupil ebony buttons. They have ulterior motives, those heat-stealers. : http://www.weekcartoons.com/killer-cat-cartoon : http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/killer-cat-cartoon.png The post Killer Cat Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Fruitfly Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    20 Apr 2014 | 11:40 pm
    Fruitfly Cartoon Fruitfly cartoon: Sometimes it’s ok to just have fun drawing meaningless stuff. : http://www.weekcartoons.com/fruitfly-cartoon : http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/fruitfly-cartoon.png The post Fruitfly Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • On the Phone Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    18 Apr 2014 | 10:17 am
    On the Phone Cartoon A being on the phone cartoon. It’s not uncommon for people who love technology to defend against accusations that it makes us anti-social with that famous picture of people on a train in the 1940s reading newspapers and not talking. How fucking subjective. A newspaper is finite, first, and second it’s not something(...) The post On the Phone Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Peeling Potatoes Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    16 Apr 2014 | 12:10 pm
    Peeling Potatoes Cartoon Anyone feel this peeling potatoes cartoon? People who love mashed potatoes know all to well the sting. French fries=the sting. Hash browns=the sting. It’s a game we play everyday, and one that we will win. Vegetables will be peeled. : http://www.weekcartoons.com/peeling-potatoes-cartoon : http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/peeling-potatoes-cartoon.png The post Peeling Potatoes Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
  • Brain Cartoon

    Cale Grim
    14 Apr 2014 | 11:44 am
    Airplane Seats Cartoon If you fly, and you wonder how much more space they can take from you: an airplane seats cartoon. : http://www.weekcartoons.com/airplane-seats-cartoon : http://www.weekcartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/airplane-seats-cartoon.png The post Brain Cartoon appeared first on Week Cartoons.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    WorthAShare.com

  • 15 Celebrity Couples Who Met On Set

    Jade Waddy
    22 Apr 2014 | 8:48 am
    We all love a bit of celebrity gossip and throughout the years we’ve had some right corkers. Below is a list of 15 celebrity couples who have now either become divorced, parted ways or are still going strong… Can you guess who is still together?Ian Somerhalder & Nina Dobrev – The Vampire DiariesAs far as the press are aware these two were together for 2 whole years before parting ways. But there is speculation that they may have rekindled the old flame.Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck – DaredevilThese two are happily married with 2 beautiful children!Zac Efron…
  • I’d Sweat For Her Any Day! | Best Neila Rey Workouts

    Amber Waddy
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:08 am
    When it comes to fitness some of us just weren’t born to do it. It can be hard if your body needs to take a royal beating just to loose a pound, and some routines can be dull and mind numbing. Neila Rey, however, does things a little differently…Here we look at some of the more quirky workout graphics she has on offer for all you sofa lovers and secret eaters. Source: Array
  • Rub Me Like One Of Your French Girls | Impressive Dirty Car Art

    Amber Waddy
    9 Apr 2014 | 3:59 am
    When most people see a dirty car they tend to think that the owner doesn’t care too much about who’s looking. Well, some clever people our there decide to recycle all the muck into something staggering…Here we look at the best examples of this strange phenomenon for you to admire… Source: Array
  • Sexy In Steampunk | 11 Sassy Senoritas

    Jade Waddy
    8 Apr 2014 | 6:06 am
    What is steampunk, I hear you cry? Well it’s a certain kind of fashion derived from science fiction where steam powered machinery is turned into accessories for and alongside clothing. These gorgeous few can show how it should be done, woof. Source: Array
  • Eternal Nightmares In 3…2… | Frighteningly Real Gamer Cosplay

    Amber Waddy
    1 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    Cosplay over the years has become much more elaborate, and more people are going out of their way to give fans the best experience they can get. That said, some of them can be a bit too real…Here we take a look at some of the most terrifying costumes the world has ever seen. Get ready to need therapy…Big Daddy & Lil Sister – BioshockHead Crab – Half LifeScarlet – Mortal KombatGatherer – AmnesiaRyuk – Death NoteDiablo – DiabloNurse – Silent HillElite – Halo Source: Array
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Randy's Review

  • When Did Deodorant Become So Much More Than Deodorant?

    Randy
    30 Mar 2014 | 9:19 am
     Old Spice Wolfthorn Deodorant Review This review requires some back story: I’ve been an Old Spice fan since the first time I put on deodorant in 6th grade.  Like my father before me, and his father before him, I’ve never strayed far from Old Spice’s Original scent (we don’t like change, alright?). Well after 12 years of going Original, someone told me I smell like their grandpa.  Considering “original” was created in 1938, I probably did.  So I did what any reasonable person would do: I took it personally, punched that person in the face, and went out…
  • Ninja Strength And Speed

    Randy
    11 Mar 2014 | 7:35 am
      Ninja Professional Blender Review (BL660) - We’ll Cut You Up! Fast. When I was a kid, I had pretty bad luck with blenders.  We didn’t get along too well. Although I did have some good experiences: like the time I made smoothies with my dad and he’d throw in the raspberries we picked from our backyard.  Or the time he tossed in three glazed donuts.  Most of my blender memories are pretty bad though. My parents weren’t usually advocates of the “learn by doing ” method, but a lot of times that is how I learned best.  Sometimes my mom would let me…
  • 12 Must-Have Items For Bacon Lovers

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 4:27 pm
    Bacon Gifts for You and Me Everyone loves bacon! But there is a handful of people who love it more than others.  For many of us, bacon is more of a lifestyle than simply a slice of meat.  And to celebrate that lifestyle, I’ve put together a list of my favorite bacon-related items.  Perfect to give as bacon gifts or to keep for yourself. From books to clothing to personal hygiene items, bacon will be written into your daily routine. Brushing your teeth will be fun again. Your fashion sense will become delicious. And your home decor will be pinned around the internet thousands of…
  • 10 Products That Make Drinking A Lot Easier

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 4:02 pm
      Drinking Dilemmas? These Should Help. Are you looking for something useful to add to your drinking lifestyle? Do you find that holding a glass with your hand, hiding your liquor in public, and just standing up is such a hassle?  When adults drink alcohol, life choices quickly become all about convenience: Fred: “But I don’t want to get up to get another beer! It’s too stressful.” Patty: “But I’d prefer to hold all three glasses of wine… at once.” Barbara: “How can I continue drinking and play volleyball?” Over the years,…
  • BCWGZTXP5HHK

    Randy
    4 Mar 2014 | 1:20 pm
    BCWGZTXP5HHK.   BCWGZTXP5HHK is a post from: Randy's Review The post BCWGZTXP5HHK appeared first on Randy's Review.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Above Average

  • Your favorite movies, as directed by Wes Anderson

    Above Average
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:50 pm
    What would the world look like if Wes Anderson directed every movie? This short shows what Anderson’s version of Forrest Gump would look like (think “A Chocolate Box Kind of Life”): Meanwhile, someone else recreated the pivotal scene in Zoolander set to Wes Anderson music, and even though it’s wrong IT JUST FEELS SO RIGHT:  Fingers crossed that someone does Noah next. For Above Average films, click here.
  • Hashtag Cheat Sheet

    Above Average
    23 Apr 2014 | 11:36 am
    In light of #myNYPD backfiring on the NYPD, we’ve put together a handy cheat sheet for brands to know what hashtags to avoid in the future. Subway #ShowUsYourFootlong Google #FavoriteSearches McDonald’s #ThingsYouCanMcGriddle Southwest Airlines #StandUpComedyBitsIWantToHearWhileSittingInTheMiddleSeatNextToCoughingBaby Boy Scouts of America #BoyScoutPride Samsung Tablet #ThingsITouch Uber BackseatStories Axe Body Spray #HowIUseAxe State Farm Insurance #LikeAGoodNeighborIAmHereWaitingOutsideYourWindow Jose Cuervo #WhyIChoseJose Lululemon #SheerBeauty Marriott Hotels #TurnDownForWhat…
  • Is that Danny Aiello?

    Above Average
    23 Apr 2014 | 9:13 am
    In the premiere of our new series, Approach the Bench, we get the inside scoop on courtroom drama. Is that Danny Aiello? Was he in all the Godfathers or just one of them? Will Danny please speak up? Written by The Daily Show’s Zhubin Parang and featuring Bob Balaban as judge! Check out the first episode and more to come: Danny Aiello Approach the Bench:
  • What does beauty mean to you?

    Above Average
    22 Apr 2014 | 3:37 pm
    We’ve done a lot of research, and we’ve finally figured out the real meaning of #TrueBeauty… #TrueBeauty is getting a huge blob of ketchup on your face and having the confidence to never wipe it off. #TrueBeauty is having the confidence to wear a bikini while eating a greasy foot-long kielbasa. #TrueBeauty is not caring what anyone says about you, even if what they’re saying is “You’re being very racist.” #TrueBeauty is never having to apologize because you’re so pretty no one calls you on your shit. #TrueBeauty is a lot like #FakeBeauty but more of a dick about…
  • Brian Williams is back with another rap classic

    Above Average
    22 Apr 2014 | 10:21 am
    In case you missed it, Brian Williams & The Tonight Show recreated Snoop Dogg’s classic ’94 jam, “Gin and Juice.” Here he is rollin’ down the street: For those who need a reminder, here’s Brian Williams taking on “Rapper’s Delight” earlier this year: For more music on Above Average, click here.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    The Life Lessonbook

  • Some Guy on the Internet Wants Me to Die Under a 770 lb. Weight

    Dustin
    23 Apr 2014 | 3:46 am
    Recently, the company I work for (STACK.com, Where Athletes Get Better©®™) partnered with Yahoo. It’s very exciting news that means everything we write gets exposed to a new crowd of horrible, horrible people. Obviously, the vast majority of people who use Yahoo aren’t horrible. I enjoy Yahoo a lot, as do many of the non-horrible people I know. The company itself is great. The horrible people I am referring to, of course, are the commenters. It’s not Yahoo’s fault. The anonymous Internet commenters of the world flock to places like Yahoo and YouTube where they can critique free…
  • Why Florida Is the Best

    Dustin
    18 Apr 2014 | 4:04 am
    Today, we’re excited to unveil a new weekly-to-semi-weekly series called, “Florida Friday,” wherein we check in on the craziest people in the United States. As an Ohioan, I love Florida. I spent four years of my life there during college. The state has some of the best beaches, warmest winters and friendliest lizards in the country. It also has the world’s highest concentration of crazy people. You may or may not have noticed that 90% of news stories involving people doing things like sprinkling their deceased loved one’s ashes all over Lenscrafters or marrying a Ferris wheel happen…
  • Two! Tickets! For Wicked!

    Dustin
    16 Apr 2014 | 3:40 am
    Wicked, the musical event of the century, came to Cleveland around Christmastime last year. If you are unfamiliar, the play is about the two witches from The Wizard of Oz becoming friends and having adventures and arguing and singing and it is quite a production. Unfortunately, a decent ticket to Wicked costs roughly as many dollars as a month in Europe. Which is a bummer because my wife, Deserae, and I enjoy going to plays.* *I should clarify that we actually would not enjoy most plays. For example, as I write this, the local theater is showing Yentl, a play about a girl who decides to cut…
  • The World’s Most Dangerous Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

    Dustin
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:17 pm
    I had a bad peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch today. The bread was kind of old, there wasn’t nearly enough jelly and the only peanut butter we currently have in the house is the gritty reduced-fat kind. It could have been worse. This afternoon, I came across the following headline from the Park Ridge Herald-Advocate: Peanut Butter and Jelly Blamed for One-Car Park Ridge Crash. The story truly is fantastic. Here’s the first sentence: “A man was so engrossed in eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he drove his car into a utility pole, Park Ridge (IL) police say.”…
  • How to Be a Man

    Dustin
    8 Apr 2014 | 11:00 pm
    A hot water tank doesn’t seem to be something that should break that often. It’s got one job: hold hot water. As I’ve recently learned, however, hot water tanks are a lot like bulldogs. You’re happy if they last 12 years, although you may have to deal with some leaking toward the end. Last week, my hot water tank started leaking. A lot. Which is the type of thing that happens when I start feeling a little manly. I grew up in a house where my dad fixed everything. I can’t recall a time when he ever took his cars to the mechanic, but I do remember plenty of long, cold nights holding a…
Log in