Humor

  • Most Topular Stories

  • Is Victor wrong? (UPDATED FOR MORE AWESOMENESS.)

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    21 Oct 2014 | 11:44 am
    Last week I tweeted: I’m forever googling ridiculous things to prove Victor wrong in our debates. I need a website that just says: “YOU’RE WRONG, VICTOR.” It would save me so much time. And I could use that time to plant articles on the internet proving my incorrect ideas. Everyone wins. Within minutes I got these from Doug, Jason, Nancy and Trevor: YouAreWrongVictor.com IsVictorWrong.com  @IsVictorWrong And that is why I love the internet. PS. Our current argument is whether I should be able to introduce myself to strangers at dinner parties as a “real-life…
  • Last night I got drunk and showed my extra fancy vagina on a live webcast and it was very tasteful and probably safe-for-work.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:00 am
    Last night I got drunk and showed my extra fancy vagina on a live webcast, but it was very tasteful and probably safe-for-work.  Also educational.  Maybe. Long story short, I got asked to substitute for Veronica Belmont who couldn’t make it to this month’s Vaginal Fantasy Book Club (a monthly live-streamed web series where Veronica, Felicia Day, Bonnie Burton and Kiala Kazebee discuss and dissect smut while getting progressively drunker each minute) and I was super excited because I got to hang out with some of the most amazing women ever while never having to leave my house.
  • This is what’s happening in my mind anyway.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    This weekend I’ll be at WordCamp in San Francisco to talk about blogging. I’m not afraid to admit that my 10-year-old daughter knows far more about coding than I do, and that I suspect anyone who can create a website using strings of seemingly random words and numbers must be involved in some sort of witchcraft.  If anyone asks me any difficult questions about programming or java or algorithms I will probably react in almost exactly this way: You’ve been warned, San Francisco.
  • Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ!

    Barb Best
    Barb Best
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:53 pm
      WHAT? A HEALTH QUIZ? HMMM…. WHICH IS IT? A REASON TO LIVE or A MIGRAINE TRIGGER?   1. Sleeping in late any chance you get   2. Mind-blowing rock concert at 115 decibels with laser light show   3. Family-size bag of dark chocolate drenched espresso beans   4. Cyclical estrogen dip followed by […] The post Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Water You Drinking?

    GiGi Eats Celebrities
    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:20 am
    You’d think one of the worst experiences when drinking water is to chug a few gulps… Only to notice… Some teeny, tiny, fluffy bunnies… Or excuse me, food particles (perhaps some left over cinnamon bun from four days ago… Or remnants of the Honey Nut Cheerios you gobbled up this morning…) floating around in it. Wait, was that even your water? I know when this happens to me, I don’t need to grab a spoon in order to make myself [Read On!]
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    The Bloggess

  • Last night I got drunk and showed my extra fancy vagina on a live webcast and it was very tasteful and probably safe-for-work.

    thebloggess
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:00 am
    Last night I got drunk and showed my extra fancy vagina on a live webcast, but it was very tasteful and probably safe-for-work.  Also educational.  Maybe. Long story short, I got asked to substitute for Veronica Belmont who couldn’t make it to this month’s Vaginal Fantasy Book Club (a monthly live-streamed web series where Veronica, Felicia Day, Bonnie Burton and Kiala Kazebee discuss and dissect smut while getting progressively drunker each minute) and I was super excited because I got to hang out with some of the most amazing women ever while never having to leave my house.
  • You can call me “Spatula” for short.

    thebloggess
    28 Oct 2014 | 8:09 am
    Did you read my post about Victor always being wrong even though he’s mostly right, and the internet’s enthusiasm in enabling me in what’s probably a very unhealthy but also fantastic way?  If so, then you’ll realize why this is so awesome. According to wikipedia, this is all accurate and the changes were listed under the category of “Truthfulness“.  (Click on the picture to super-size.) A few highlights: My name is now: Jennifer Juanita Spatula Jezebel Who-Let-The-Dogs-Out Lawson Under the category of “children” it lists two: “1…
  • This is what’s happening in my mind anyway.

    thebloggess
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    This weekend I’ll be at WordCamp in San Francisco to talk about blogging. I’m not afraid to admit that my 10-year-old daughter knows far more about coding than I do, and that I suspect anyone who can create a website using strings of seemingly random words and numbers must be involved in some sort of witchcraft.  If anyone asks me any difficult questions about programming or java or algorithms I will probably react in almost exactly this way: You’ve been warned, San Francisco.
  • Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

    thebloggess
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:42 am
    So my friend Maile came to my house to pick me up for lunch and we were a block away when I saw something large and hairy in the back of the pick-up heading toward us, I thought “That is the biggest fucking dog I have ever seen” and then the truck got closer and I thought, “That can’t be a dog.  Is that Sasquatch?”  And then the pickup passed us and I involuntarily screamed: “WATER BUFFALO!” And then Maile looked at me with mild confusion (probably because I’d just interrupted her story which had nothing to do with water buffalos) and I…
  • Is Victor wrong? (UPDATED FOR MORE AWESOMENESS.)

    thebloggess
    21 Oct 2014 | 11:44 am
    Last week I tweeted: I’m forever googling ridiculous things to prove Victor wrong in our debates. I need a website that just says: “YOU’RE WRONG, VICTOR.” It would save me so much time. And I could use that time to plant articles on the internet proving my incorrect ideas. Everyone wins. Within minutes I got these from Doug, Jason, Nancy and Trevor: YouAreWrongVictor.com IsVictorWrong.com  @IsVictorWrong And that is why I love the internet. PS. Our current argument is whether I should be able to introduce myself to strangers at dinner parties as a “real-life…
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • So Talented

    Lyndsey
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:47 am
      Submitted by Matt The post So Talented appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Where’s Your Phone?

    Lyndsey
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:46 am
    wife could not find the house phone and the husband was on a new phone, Submitted by Alexandria The post Where’s Your Phone? appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Worst Wishes

    Lyndsey
    28 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Submitted by Nursemomma The post Worst Wishes appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Post Mortimer

    Lyndsey
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:20 pm
    Submitted by Carol The post Post Mortimer appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • No Gifts, Please!

    Lyndsey
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:55 pm
    Submitted by Georgia The post No Gifts, Please! appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
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    CollegeHumor: Videos

  • 10 Ways To Make Cats Even Better

    29 Oct 2014 | 4:40 pm
    A guide to making your furry friend even more purr-fect. 
  • GoPro Strapped To A Lion's Back

    29 Oct 2014 | 3:12 pm
    With a recent POV video of a whiskey bottle being chugged, it seemed the GoPro game had been won. How wrong we were... via GoPro Yes, you just experienced a mind meld with a jungle cat. Now we've seen it all. It's totally over and done, unless you find a way to strap a camera to: - Food being eaten...
  • Just Another Day in New Jersey With Bears Fighting in the Street

    29 Oct 2014 | 2:10 pm
    New Jersey is home to many things, the Boss, shitty casinos owned by Donald Trump, a general unpleasant o...
  • Amy Poehler Quizzes George R.R. Martin On Game Of Thrones

    29 Oct 2014 | 11:49 am
    Last night, both Amy Poehler and George R.R. Martin dropped by Late Night, where Poehler presented the author with some questions on his own books. He got a respectable few right, like any GoT fanboy would, but fumbled when the questions got tough...
  • Guy Demonstrates How To Make Spooky Halloween Song

    29 Oct 2014 | 10:57 am
    Brett Domino, the Brit known for his "how-to" pop song parodies, is back with a spooky twist on his usual shtick. Watch as he skewers the widespread trend (in the 80s) of making...
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • A Fun Pumpkin Carving Tutorial! by Andrew Cushing

    30 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    Pumpkin carving is a simple, festive way to celebrate the arrival of autumn. And with only a handful of tools, you and your family can easily enjoy the thrill of pumpkin carving right at home. The following tutorial will provide you with step-by-step instructions down the leafy path toward a fun fall experience.Carving The PumpkinWhat you’ll need: Pumpkin; carving tool; newspaperSTEP 1: Lay down a few sheets of newspaper. (Pumpkin carving can get messy, and this protective layer will help make cleanup a lot easier.)STEP 2: Place your pumpkin in the center of the newspaper.STEP 3: Use your…
  • Not So Timeless After All: Bemelmans, Madeline by Ilana Masad

    30 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    MADRID, SPAIN — Madeline Bemelmans, 82, formerly of Paris, France, has passed away in an old house all covered in vines, of morphine powder in two straight lines.Always open about her addiction, Madeline struggled with morphine and other painkillers from the time she was seven years old, when she had her appendix taken out and was mistakenly given adult-dosage painkillers. Attending a selective private boarding school in Paris, Madeline spoke at the 2013 Global Addiction Conference of the ease at which she was able to hide her drug-habit during her time at school and called for better…
  • List: Other Seasonal Drinks by Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff

    30 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Woolen MacchiatoMulled NyQuilTurkey Gravy SpritzWet Leaves TeaCabernet Flavored Emergen-CNutmeg Flavored 5 Hour EnergyLeftover Halloween Candy Cold Pressed JuiceStuffing ShotsRoad Salt Rimmed MargaritasFell On The Long Island Iced TeaWhite Russian Fur HatApple Picking MartiniChai WhiskeyBaked Ham-onadeCandy Cane ColonicPot Pie SmoothieYam and TonicPine Needle Old FashionedOrange Clove-Filled MochachinoLatke BombsButternut Squash Shake (serve in gourd)Candy Corn Infused WaterFresh Squeezed Egg NogGreen Bean Red BullYellow Snow Pomegranate FizzMashed Potato VodkaSpecial Edition: Harvest Ipecac-…
  • Shakespeare’s Work Emails by Kathryn Doyle

    29 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    All the world’s a stage,and all the men and women merely players:they have their exits and their entrances;so let’s reconnect on this over the weekend.- - -Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?Feel free to reach out if you have further Q’s.- - -To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,To the last syllable of recorded time;We’ve got some great momentum going here;Will this be done by EOD? By COB?- - -There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,Than will fit in our engagement strategy.- - -Hath ye spied that client feedback? It…
  • My Own Private Shock Corridor: Form Contra Content by Bob Schneider

    29 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    When I was a kid, if you were good with crayons, the other kids would dub you a Rembrandt, a signifier synonymous with douchenozzle, not only in kidville but in the culture at large.When I was a kid, I lived three avenue blocks west and fourteen street blocks south of the Museum of Modern Art. But you wouldn’t have caught me dead in there (even if I knew it had been there), because I knew that art was for queers and pussies. (Not that I really knew what a queer or a pussy was. Had I been pressed to define them, to use them in a sentence, that sentence would probably have read Art is for…
 
 
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    Cracked: All Posts

  • The 5 Things That Can Ruin Halloween for Any Adult

    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By C. Coville  Published: October 29th, 2014  America's spookiest holiday is not just for kids anymore. Adult Halloween (by which I mean "Halloween as celebrated by people over traditional trick-or-treating age," and not "a weird costume-based porn site") is getting bigger and bigger in this cou
  • 6 Hilarious New Costumes That Fail to Cash in on New Movies

    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Jason Iannone  Published: October 29th, 2014  Very rarely do you come across a Halloween costume that's actually scary -- most range from hilariously bad to terribly inappropriate to just terrible. Some people simply want to dress up like a sexy fax machine or whatever else inspires zero erectio
  • 34 Code Words Professionals Use to Keep You in the Dark

    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: October 29th, 2014  Every field has a specific vocabulary it uses. Mostly, it develops as a means to quickly communicate with another person in said field -- but sometimes it happens to keep people on the outside completely oblivious. In an effort to help you decipher w
  • The 6 Creepiest Unexplained Phone Calls

    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Robin Warder  Published: October 29th, 2014  You all know the scene. A young, vulnerable, and preferably scantily clad woman is home alone when she answers the phone and finds herself threatened by an anonymous caller. If the screenwriters are feeling especially lazy, the big twist is that the
  • Why Everyone Wants to F#@k Vampires but Not Witches

    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Daniel O'Brien,Abe Epperson  Published: October 29th, 2014 
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    Predator Press

  • Falala Banana

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Oct 2014 | 4:57 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press A little research unearthed all I needed to know about my regional manager, Falala Banana.  Miss Banana is feared company-wide, and mostly because she can rip Capri pants with her calves Hulk-style at will.  She is reputed to have killed underperforming employees with her toes. But it turns out we have history. Back in 2006, I met Mohamed "Chainsaw" Miller, a twenty-seven year old a six foot six behemoth, and a rabid football fan. "Why aren't you in the NFL?" I asked. He stared down at me for a second, thinking carefully. "I never ate me no human…
  • Internet Swag

    Michael Wolfe
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO]
  • The Four Corners

    Michael Wolfe
    11 Oct 2014 | 9:43 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] Disposing of my junk mail and shredded bills to prevent identity theft. At great expense to me, I fly Destry Dentin, DDS, from London to Sydney, Australia to destroy most of it.  Those guys can butcher the hell out of our fine American language, and oddly understand each other.  I am confident all relevant information will be promptly lost. But Albert Dente can be a little more complicated. "Yes I threw the crap into Mordor." "Wait," I says into the speakerphone.  "You were supposed to throw that stuff into Mount Doom." "That…
  • Alchemy

    Michael Wolfe
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:36 pm
    -LOBO Predator Press Many immolated themselves. Many jumped from tall buildings. Many immolated themselves, then jumped from tall buildings. -But I am having a hard time keeping up with life events. In the meantime I will be occasionally appearing at the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League. I'll be back.  I promise.
  • Why Does Heaven Need Gates? Is It In a Bad Neighborhood?

    Michael Wolfe
    1 Sep 2014 | 12:48 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] "So you raised four times as much as you need for the divorce?" Al asks, still browsing Tinder on my phone. "How about this one?" O please Al. Shut the fuck up. For five minutes. "How long until the divorce is final?" Albert Dente continued relentlessly. "Who cares?" I reply. "I decided to let the lovebirds take the hit. I paid off my car instead."
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Man

    natedern
    29 Oct 2014 | 2:05 pm
    10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Man After watching a video of a woman experiencing over 100 instances of street harassment during a 10 hour period walking the streets of New York City, Funny Or Die News decided to conduct an experiment to see what happens to a white man walking the streets of NYC. Submitted by: natedern Immortal Keywords: catcalling catcall catcal street street harassment 10 hours of walking in NYC as a man 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman street harassment video new york city nyc funny or die news sexual harassment experiment parody video Views: 1,697,487
  • An Open Letter from a Guy Who Doesn’t Have Time to be Scared this Halloween

    mikescollins
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:19 pm
    An Open Letter from a Guy Who Doesn’t... Please consider this request from a man who just does not have it in him to be scared this Halloween Submitted by: mikescollins Regular Keywords: halloween costume haunted witch frankenstein mummy dracula monster ghost october sad holiday Views: 9,346
  • Found Footage

    chris_singel
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:06 pm
    Found Footage 1:13 A documentary becomes a horror movie when all of the footage is found. Happy Halloween! Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Found Footage found footage movie parody camera store camcorder ghost documentary documentarians crew recording light scary short creepy halloween 2014 Views: 1,539
  • Throwing Shade #64: Halloween & Gone Girl

    chris_singel
    28 Oct 2014 | 10:46 am
    Throwing Shade #64: Halloween & Gone ... 15:30 Happy Halloqueen! This year, Erin and Bryan are giving you three looks: classic Halloween realness, True Detective realness, and Gone Girl realness. But that's not nearly as spooky as how the Vatican feels about female bishops or how Republican Congressman from Texas Louie Gohmert feels about gays. Spooky! Listen to the full episode here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/throwing-shade/id479583266?mt=2 Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Throwing Shade throw shade erin gibson bryan safi podcast listening listen recorded recording…
  • A Game of Thrones Halloween

    chapfilmguy
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:19 am
    A Game of Thrones Halloween 2:28 The men of the Night's Watch prepare for the most epic Halloween Westeros has ever seen. Submitted by: chapfilmguy Regular Keywords: Game of Thrones Halloween HBO night's watch Westeros khaleesi jon snow trick or treat lannister Views: 8,543
 
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    vintage everyday

  • Amazing Vintage Photographs of British in World War I

    John VE
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    The collection consists of photography of every aspect of World War I - from cadet training to soldiers' graves. Every theatre of war is represented, but the majority of prints were taken in Europe, particularly on the battlefields of France and Belgium.Original members still serving with a Canadian infantry brigade, 1914.A bad road, 1914.A car in trouble after the thaw, 1914.Wood on its way upcountry, 1914.A few kilometers behind our line, 1914.See more »
  • Flooded at Beach & Imperial, La Habra, California, 1938

    John VE
    30 Oct 2014 | 12:34 am
    The intersection of Beach Blvd. and Imperial Hwy. in La Habra, California.
  • Wonderful Color Portraits of Women War Workers in Britain during WWII

    John VE
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:40 pm
    Head and shoulders portrait of Mrs Chaulkey, a war worker in Britain, 1943.Miss M Greatorex, a war worker involved in the manufacture of 17-pdr anti-tank guns, 1943.Mrs C Graham, a war worker involved in the manufacture of 17-pdr anti-tank guns, 1943.Mrs Lusby, a part-time worker at a small workshop, levelling off and making the firing pin during the first stages of breech block production, 1943.Woman war worker milling breech blocks, 1943.A voluntary domestic science course for service women based in the London area, organised by the London District of the Army Education Scheme, with the…
  • Vintage Photos of People in Halloween Costumes in New Jersey

    John VE
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:22 am
    Participants in Fair Lawn's annual costume parade are shown in this undated photo. The parade traveled around Memorial Park. Courtesy of the Fair Lawn Historic Preservation Commission.Six unidentified children are shown sorting through their goodies after trick or treating in Edison in 1976. Star-Ledger archive photo.The annual Halloween parade sponsored by the Little Silver Fire Department is shown in this 1974 photo. Courtesy of the Little Silver Fire Department.Three unidentified children are ready for trick-or-treating in Paterson as seen in this 1944 photo taken at East 25th Street…
  • Watching a solar eclipse, Paris, 1911

    John VE
    29 Oct 2014 | 10:16 am
 
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • Whose Bocs (Bald Locs) Are These?

    Luvvie
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:40 am
    I promise that people step out the house talmbout how casket sharp they are and they walk out with this homie’s hairstyle. I DIE. This is like a mullet of different species. It’s as if the mullet said “I need to upgrade for the 2014″ and this is what it evolved into. It’s business in the front and rasta-chic in the back. WERK, sir. WERRRRK! If he walked in a room and he was talking to you, you wouldn’t even know that he was rocking 3 different hairstyles. And they say women are indecisive. Dude got a regular caesar in the front, bald in the middle and locs…
  • The AYA Summit Was Awespiring (Awesome and Inspiring) and These 4 Women Moved Me

    Luvvie
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:58 pm
    I was in a room with giants. Being at the ONE Campaign’s AYA Summit was incredible and I’m still processing all that happened there. 75 women were brought together with change agents to talk about issues that are affecting women and girls around the world, specifically in countries in Africa. The summit was moderated by Patricia Amira, who is considered Africa’s Oprah and it had so many amazing speakers and panels. The panel about Human Trafficking with Cindy McCain and Kristen Howertonhit me in the chest. I was overwhelmed by the wealth of information and the powerful…
  • The Key: Scandal Episode 405 Recap

    Luvvie
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:04 am
    Let’s just get right into this episode of Scandal. Dan Kubiak – Olivia shows Catherine the security tape of the man who was trying to grab a file from Catelyn, her step-daughter who was killed. She identifies him as Dan Kubiak, a security guard at her husband’s firm. He was a former police captain who had a shady past but has a lot of allies in the force still and started his own private security firm. Quinn is looking through a telescope in a building across the street from the office building where the firm is and Liv is there because she ain’t got nothing to do since “My…
  • About Renee Zellweger’s New Face, Our Shock, and Folks Telling Us to STFU

    Luvvie
    22 Oct 2014 | 11:46 am
    A woman got on the red carpet the other day, looking vaguely familiar. Or like the cousin of Robin Wright and Sarah Jessica Parker. Wait. WAYMENT. That’s Renee Zellweger! Shut my mouth wide open! WUT? What happened to her face? I mean, that’s kinda rhetorical because we know it’s plastic surgery but what HAPPENED? How much surgery did she get? Why goes she look so unlike herself? When did this happen? I haz so many questions and I am not the only one who does. The whole interwebs has been marveling at Renee’s new look for the past day, because she looks unrecognizable. Folks have…
  • I’m Headed to DC Today for the ONE AYA Summit!

    Luvvie
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:15 am
    Hey folks! I’m really excited to be going to DC for the next couple of days for the ONE Campaign’s AYA Summit, co-hosted by Google. I’m part of 75 women and girls who are being brought together from the U.S. and elsewhere for a 2-day summit that focuses on issues facing women and girls in developing countries in Africa. We’ll be talking about how we can fight and eliminate extreme poverty, covering topics that include health, child birth, trade, technology, jobs, food, activism and more. Digital influencers and leaders from nonprofits and government with be on hand, as…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • Raising Geeks

    Brittany
    27 Oct 2014 | 8:55 am
    Growing up, I wanted to have two kids. A boy named Josh and a girl named Mercedes. Josh would naturally be the big man on campus, and when I say that, imagine me saying it the way your grandmother says it when she asks you about school. “How’s school, Josh? I assume you’re the big man on campus like your father?” Josh’s father in this scenario being Dr. Peter Venkman or Jonathon Brandis. Mercedes would be a popular genius/cheerleader. She’d be involved in dance and gymnastics and all those adorable extracurriculars my parents could never financially swing.
  • Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready!

    Brittany
    10 Oct 2014 | 7:54 am
    Tickets for the August 2015 session of Camp Throwback are on sale!(...)Read the rest of Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready! (43 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down.

    Brittany
    8 Oct 2014 | 7:21 am
    What you don’t see in this picture…(...)Read the rest of Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down. (763 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Goodbye to Yesterday

    Brittany
    29 Sep 2014 | 4:30 am
    This is awkward. I don’t want it to be, but it is. We’ve become the sort of friends that are only friends because we don’t know how not to be. After 13 years it’s not meaningful, it’s habitual.(...)Read the rest of Goodbye to Yesterday (98 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • This is 200

    Brittany
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:11 am
    I can’t sleep. That’s a relatively normal thing, really, as anyone who has gotten completely coherent emails from me at 3am can attest. I don’t sleep. I have the next round of edits due on my book in, ohhhhhhh, 13 days. I was recently hired by a morning radio show to come and chat every Thursday, the fall session of Camp Throwback tickets go on sale October 13th, and I almost have the perfect cat eye down with my eyeliner. Obviously, I have a lot on my plate right now. So, I let my brain stay up long after I tuck in the small ones and the big hairy one, and I write on the…
 
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    Boondock Ramblings

  • Be a Very Good Asset by Taking Up PA Courses London

    boondocker
    29 Oct 2014 | 2:25 am
    There are actually programs you can take so that you can obtain a good future working as a professional. You may opt for the PA training program. Secretary courses and PA training London help people who want to improve their professional expertise, causing them to be more efficient in an office setting. If you are looking for PA training in London, you can be sure that you’ll find a number of organizations. This is a big benefit since you’ll find PA courses London that will meet your standards. What makes PA Training London valuable? If you want to work as an assistant or any…
  • Cool Watches: Providing You With a More Better Look

    boondocker
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:10 am
    A watch strapped around your wrist remains the best device that can show you the actual time despite the fact that there are numerous modern devices capable of showing the time appearing today. Aside from being convenient, they’re fashionable and can enhance your look in various ways. Presently, various cool watches made by various brands is widely available on the market. If you try to take a look on a watch store, you will surely be impressed with the wide range of options you can see. These days, cool watches are in exceptional and artistic styles, and there will always be one that would…
  • Business Management Made Less difficult through Facebook Page Manager

    boondocker
    28 Oct 2014 | 2:48 am
    More and more companies are now trying out the Facebook marketing strategy. This is no longer astonishing since Facebook is among the leading social networking sites all over the world. It is important to make pages since it is among the important parts of the Facebook marketing strategy. It is vital that the pages contain all the information that your target market needs to find out regarding your business. However, some company owners can have more than one and Facebook management can be tough. For this, using a Facebook page manager is the very best solution. The Facebook page manager is a…
  • Important Things to Consider When You Buy Instagram Followers

    boondocker
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:57 pm
    Right now, communicating and sharing every little thing are not the only things that people can do in various social networking sites. These websites get to be the outlet to know the latest info in the four corners of the globe. This is the reason why many businessmen deemed social media marketing as the best place to market their brands. Among the social media forums that is utilized by businessmen is Instagram. Actually,Instagram is widely known as a photo sharing website, nevertheless, this social media site has now become a highly effective tool for product and services promotion. Being…
  • Spanish Tutor London along with the Things You must Keep in mind Prior To Hiring Their Services

    boondocker
    14 Oct 2014 | 9:59 pm
    Learning a foreign language is complicated specifically if you are deciding to do it without the assistance of a professional. This clarifies precisely why most of the learners opt to obtain the services of a tutor rather to easily simplify the learning method. Obtaining the services of a Spanish tutor London is a great idea if you desire to learn the Spanish language. Looking for Spanish teachers London is not hard. In fact, these come in great numbers, offering you a chance to select. On the other hand, there are various things you should remember when searching for one. Something to…
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    Nanny Goats in Panties

  • I’ve Got All the Bells and Whistles

    Margaret
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:29 pm
    I think I have adoraphobia. It’s like the little fuzzy kitten version of agoraphobia where I am capable of leaving the house, I just don’t want to. Isn’t that cute? Okay, it’s official. I’ve become one of those people that won’t shut up about their health problems (oh, my aching back!). To wit:   Shortly after my anxiety and panic attack mini-series, I was prescribed this drug, that drug, and the other thing. The other thing was a heart monitor that I have to carry around for 30 days and I’m on the home stretch with only one day to go. It was…
  • Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Tears, Oh My!

    Margaret
    22 Sep 2014 | 1:01 pm
    OK, I still don’t know what happened to me, but a few weeks ago I began feeling weird at the grocery store to the point that I wanted to abandon my cart full of 29 pints of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, run out of the store and go home. I felt like I was going to pass out, but at the same time felt horribly scared about it. And do I run and put all the groceries back so they don’t thaw because I’m such a responsible customer? Or do I just bolt out to the car? Invariably, I squat down and look intently at whatever was on the bottom shelf as if seriously contemplating…
  • White House Dinners and..oh, I Wrote a Book.

    Margaret
    22 Aug 2014 | 11:48 am
    Have you ever gone to a Presidential Gala and arrived late, only to discover that the First Couple is no longer greeting people at the end of the reception line and all the salmon biscuits are gone? OMG – me too!! But that’s not why I brought you here today. No, today I have a bit of news. When I contemplated teaching younger folks how to write better, especially when it comes to blogging, I thought, Who in their right mind would buy what I’m selling? And don’t you have to belong to an elite club or sleep with the right politician, or have an “in” with the…
  • A Humorous Take on Bullying

    Margaret
    11 Jul 2014 | 4:49 pm
    Yes, I am perfectly aware of the fact that my blogging has fallen off lately, thank you SO MUCH for mentioning it. The problem is, I’ve gotten my mitts into many other projects that are eating up my life, not the least of which was co-producing, co-directing, and performing in the Sacramento Listen to Your Mother show. But that was in May, you cry. And I don’t even live in Sacramento, so how the bleepity bleep can I see this “performance” of yours, you continue to whimper? My, what a drama queen you are. And a whiner. But! Cry no more, my little nanny goats, as there…
  • Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

    Margaret
    13 Jun 2014 | 4:56 pm
    So I’m at this thing the other day, you know, one of those events where you walk in the door and they check you in and give you a name tag to clip on your person, along with a wine glass, and you feel awkward at first because you arrived alone so the first thing you do is scrape the room for a familiar face so you can immediately cling to him or her while you get your insecure bearings in order? Yeah, one of those. Anyway, as I’m bouncing from one familiar face to another, tasting wine and bacon-wrapped shrimps on sticks, there are people here who feel important because they were…
 
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • The Tyranny and Creativity of a Word Count

    Mark A. Rayner
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    On the other hand, a really specific (short) word limit can force one to be more creative and improve the text. I love the Blaise Pascal quote: “This letter is very long because I did not have time to make … Continue reading →
  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
  • Tweeting in two places may break my brain

    Mark A. Rayner
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:48 pm
    And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →
  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)

    madkane
    29 Oct 2014 | 8:33 pm
    Here’s a creepy Halloween-related survey: More than half (53%) of parents of trick-or-treaters say their children between the ages of 4 and 10 would prefer cash over candy or even toys, according to a survey of 1,747 parents who celebrated Halloween carried out by coupon- and discount-code website Vouchercloud.net. Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane To you kids who want Halloween cash, And not candy, your hopes I must dash. If you ask me for money Dear girly or sonny, I’ll double the other kid’s stash.
  • Limerick Switch (Limerick-Off Monday)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:17 pm
    It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.) How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.) I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s…
  • Limerick of the Week (186)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:12 pm
    It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: By a grizzled old pig, I was gored. As I waited for succor, I roared. It was not the damned pain, But emotional strain, ‘Cause I really do hate being bored. And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Tim James, Christopher Finch Reynolds, Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, and…
  • Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 2:27 pm
    Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25) By Madeleine Begun Kane It’s “National Greasy Foods Day.” What a concept! I have to say “Nay!” Such a day sounds so cheesy. The thought makes me queasy. Melted brie? Hmmm, for THAT I might stray.
  • Limerick Ode To “National Nut Day” (October 22)

    madkane
    22 Oct 2014 | 1:10 am
    Limerick Ode To National Nut Day By Madeleine Begun Kane A morsel to chew on: It’s “Nut Day,” As opposed to, say, “Sit On Your Butt Day.” It celebrates food— Not the fruitcakes whose ’tude Seems deranged, but a “Junk For Your Gut Day.”
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for October 30, 2014

    29 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 29, 2014

    28 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 28, 2014

    27 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 27, 2014

    26 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 26, 2014

    25 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
 
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    CAP News

  • North Korea Fires A Couple Missiles For Attention

    30 Oct 2014 | 4:14 am
    PYONGYANG, North Korea (CAP) - Reports out of the Pentagon say North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has launched a couple of missiles at a pair of uninhabited islands off the coast of that country, apparently upset that "nobody paying attention to us anymore." One missile landed harmlessly in the water, and the other destroyed a grove of trees. "Satellite imagery shows these to be the new D Class of Attention-Seeking missile," Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said. "But we're not too concerned because we did pick them up on our Early BS Detection System." According to the South Korean news agency,…
  • Pediameth This Year's Top Halloween Treat

    29 Oct 2014 | 3:43 am
    CARSON CITY, Nev. (CAP) - Move aside Candy Corn and Baby Ruth: this year's most popular Halloween treat is sure to be Pediameth, a children's version of the popular street drug crystal meth. The National Institute For The Study Of Halloween Candy (NISHC) made the announcement as part of their yearly look at popular Halloween candy. "They just rolled this stuff out in September and it took off," said NISHC Senior Associate Leroy Solomon. "The kids, they are loving it! Stores can't keep it on the shelves, and kids are so hooked, they're willing to trade Nintendo Wii time and Justin Bieber…
  • Obama Urges Healthier Pranks This Halloween

    28 Oct 2014 | 3:44 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - As boys and girls finalize their Halloween costumes and gear up for an evening of trick-or-treating throughout the nation's neighborhoods, President Barack Obama is asking parents to be extra vigilant with their children's capers and other high jinx to ensure healthier, more environmentally-sound pranks are being pulled this year. "As a former child myself, I understand the need and desire for a touch of tomfoolery on All Hallows' Eve," Obama said. "But we can't lose sight of what it means to be a healthy prankster, a safe prankster, a conscientious prankster. "Remember…
  • Schools Replace Standardized Tests With New IQ App

    27 Oct 2014 | 4:20 am
    BOSTON (CAP) - Massachusetts, Virginia and Arkansas have become the latest states to adopt new educational regulations that eliminate the need for standardized testing in favor of a new mobile app that can accurately measure a child's IQ. Results are then immediately attached to the child's permanent record. "We can test until we're blue in the face, but the fact is that every child has an upper limit," said Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. "This app quickly cuts through the crap, and paints educators a picture they can teach to." The app, called WhatsMyIQ, is a joint effort between…
  • Fox To Air Alternate World Series Between Yankees, Dodgers

    24 Oct 2014 | 4:13 am
    NEW YORK (CAP) - Fox Sports has reportedly struck a deal with both the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers to play their own World Series as a more exciting alternative to the Kansas City Royals and San Francisco Giants. The best of five series will air in all markets except San Francisco. "Research shows that even in Kansas City, they would rather watch two other teams than what happened to the Royals in game one," said Fox Sports CEO Peter Rice. "In fact, 76% of those polled said they would rather watch a two hour infomercial with Sally Struthers crying through her mascara." Fox…
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    Happy Meals & Happy Hour

  • Things I Need To Do Before I Die of Ebola

    HappyHourSue
    16 Oct 2014 | 8:33 am
    So Fox News' Shepard Smith went on a viral (ha) rant yesterday about how everybody should calm the fuck down already about Ebola.Even though I suspect Shepard is rocking guyliner (see Exhibit A)Exhibit A:I really, really, really wanna believe him due to my inherently panicky anxiety-ridden hypochondriac overly-prepared nature.(see Y2K)(see SARS)(see Bird Flu)(see Mad Cow Disease)In the event that we are, in fact, all doomed, here is my Ebola Bucket List. I'm guessing I have about 9 months to a year.EBOLA BUCKET LIST• Find out what a 3D printer does• Hire a professional dance group and…
  • Happy "Dress Like a Slut Day"

    HappyHourSue
    13 Oct 2013 | 11:40 am
    Oh joy.It's that time of year again...Cider! Pumpkins! Candy! Ho's!WELL.  Apparently toddling around on stripper heels as a "sexy" nurse/cop/referee/cheerleader/devil/angel/football player/firefighter/pirate has been DONE. 2003 called: It wants it's "sexy" back.Any slut-for-a-night knows you have to be original to stand out in a sea of bimbos. Think outside the box!   How about: Sexy Micky Mouse?Sexy Girl Scout? That's not inappropriate at all.Sexy Dinosaur!Sexy Pizza Slice!!Sexy Cheeseburger!Really the possibilities are endless.I am proposing the following ideas to some…
  • Kindles Are For Porn

    HappyHourSue
    18 Apr 2013 | 11:26 am
    Ladies! Let's talk smut.OK, so by now we've all read the entire Fifty Shades Trilogy , freaked out our husbands/significant others with our jump-started libidos, dropped out of Book Club, and are looking around for our next fix like "NOW what." (husbands/significant others: "Yeah! NOW what.")Fifty Shades is a gateway drug, my friends. There is a whole universe of competent-to-poorly written erotica out there, waiting to be consumed, like thousands of little dime bags, but with more ripped biceps and heavy breathing. However: Just as the alcoholic needs the paper bag, you can't…
  • Amazon So Doesn't Care About My Writer's Block

    HappyHourSue
    15 Nov 2011 | 7:30 pm
    Holy mother.I TOTALLY forgot my blog was available on Kindle and Amazon was CHARGING .99 cents for it.Apparently, they've been sending out apology emails to subscribers and offering them their money back. And booted me out of the Amazon Kindle family of offerings.Awkward.But guess what. I got a job. (!!!!!!!)  I know. I'm totally an executive right now. No, I'm not...but I wear heels and lipgloss and curse at people while I'm driving. So same thing.Here's what I've learned my first week:Things to Say When You're Getting Coffee to-go in the Morning at the Wawa:"Another day, another…
  • Harry Potter Recap. Sort Of.

    HappyHourSue
    17 Jul 2011 | 12:28 pm
    My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.The main thing you need to know is…
 
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • Neighbors too loud? The Police can handle it.

    Kerry
    27 Oct 2014 | 2:19 pm
    This one speaks for itself, no? (Thanks to our submitter, Bonnie in Edinburgh.) related: A review of last night’s performance
  • Candy rationing is now in place!

    Kerry
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Previously, our submitter says, bowls of candy sat in an area of the office most commonly populated by waiting customer and potential hires. “Now, instead of candy, most of them get to see this note. It provides them with things to think about as they wait, such as: How many Jolly Ranchers, Starlight Mints, and other candies which are neither chocolate nor caramel may one take from each bowl?” recently: More office candy bowl drama
  • Return to sender

    Kerry
    11 Oct 2014 | 7:08 am
    Writes our submitter: “This note was left in the TEMPORARY mailbox that we put up to collect mail during a substantial construction phase at our house.” In order to appease the anonymous critic, she says, “I have since placed a large neon green bow around the offending structure,” and plans to continue. “I’m going for the ‘North Pole threw up here’ look,” she says. related: #mailboxproblems extra credit: uglymailbox.com: cool & crazy mailboxes 
  • Last time I checked, my mother didn’t work here

    Kerry
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:58 am
    “My husband and I eloped in Maui last week because we thought it’d be more fun that way,” says Sarah in Seattle.At least one of her husband’s coworkers — apparently — took this as a snub. (But, you know, in a “Hahahahaha, JUST KIDDING!” clenched-teeth sort of way.) related: Aaand…the honeymoon’s over.
  • They take their white carpet very seriously.

    Kerry
    29 Sep 2014 | 11:02 am
    Alice in Columbus, Ohio noticed this note taped to the door of a neighboring apartment. “I guess the tenants must have taken over a place that had formerly housed drug dealers and they were fed up with people coming by looking for drugs,” she says. “The note begins amiably enough — ‘Take shoes off at door’ — then takes quite a turn with its devastating conclusion. related: This not a brothel!
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    BroBible

  • Guy Wears Camera To Show What It’s Like For A White Man To Walk Around NYC For 10 Hours

    J. Camm
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:45 am
    Earlier this week, we posted a viral video of a woman walking around NYC for 10 hours. It showed her having to endure various comments — most were attempts at flattery — from over 100 men. What many don’t realize is this woman was an actress who was hired to do this by a man. That man wanted to make a video to showcase the “harassment” women are forced to deal with walking around this city and public in general. In the 10 hours, they walked through Midtown, Soho, Harlem, Brooklyn Bridge, South Ferry area and Queens. The beauty of the Internet is that it gives…
  • T-Pain Singing Without Using Autotune Is Actually Really Damn Impressive

    Cass Anderson
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:26 am
    YouTube/NPR If there’s one thing T-Pain is known for above all it’s autotune. He’s synonymous with the musical equivalent of Viagra. Due to that I think the majority of us have always assumed that he requires autotune to sound good, and we couldn’t have been more wrong. Here we see T-Pain singing three songs on NPR without the use of any autotune, and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t sound amazing. The set list is as follows: “Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’)”, “Up Down (Do This All Day)”, “Drankin’ Patna”.
  • Russell Westbrook’s Opening Night Wardrobe Is Not A Halloween Costume

    Kyle Koster
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:13 am
      With Kevin Durant out of the picture for the foreseeable future, Russell Westbrook will have even more opportunities to shoot the basketball. It seems Christmas has come early for the guard. It seems Halloween has also come early. Here is the getup he wore to the Oklahoma City Thunder’s opening night game in Portland last night. Remember, he’s on his way to a game of hoops and not an audition for futuristic Steve Urkel. You have to hand it to Westbrook. The pants and shiny jacket will get all the eyeballs but it’s his attention to detail that sets him apart in the…
  • How Awkward Was Zone Manager Rikk Wilde’s Chevy MVP Presentation To Madison Bumgarner?

    Jorge Alonso
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:24 pm
    FOX So awkward! After the World Series was it was time for Madison Bumgarner to receive his MVP Award but things got a little awkward during the presentation. Chevy Kansas City regional zone manager (no, really… Here’s his LinkedIn) Rikk Wilde was responsible with awarding Bumgarner the World Series MVP award and a new 2015 Chevy Colorado. But Wilde botched the description of the car has having “umm you know technology and stuff” and kept running out of breath, making things EXTREMELY awkward. I have a feeling this is the last time we’ll see Mr. Wilde present any…
  • This Vine Of The San Francisco Giants Celebrating Their World Series Win Will Give You Chills

    Brandon Wenerd
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:08 pm
    Vine The San Francisco Giants defeated the Kansas City Royals in Game Seven to win their third World Series in five years. Until we get the requisite video of Madison Bumgarner pouring a keg of beer on his chest, we have this Vine from the inside of the locker room celebration this evening, There is nothing more exciting than seeing a team celebrate such an epic championship. via Alex Pavlovic:
 
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    Magick Sandwich

  • Pink Ribbon Products: From Car Horns to Handguns

    26 Oct 2014 | 1:12 pm
    This is a bagel. What did you think it was?What would October be without a smorgasbord of pinktastic breast cancer awareness-themed treats from cookies, mints, hard lemonade, jelly beans, popcorn and  PEZ to ribbon-shaped cakes, chocolates, cupcake sprinkles, lollipops, pasta and bagels? Rarely has life-threatening illness tasted so delicious.Of course, we shouldn't forget the memorial offerings not meant to pass through the alimentary canal: perfume, knee socks, beer koozies, curling irons, chewing gum, flip flops, beach balls, tote bags, vegetable peelers, bathrobes, fishing rods,chip…
  • Magick Sandwich FAIL

    23 Jun 2014 | 1:23 pm
    Magick Sandwich has been on an unannounced (and unintended) hiatus while I've been working on a new project, a t-shirt directory called Greatest Tees on Earth. It's been fun and time-consuming. I hope you'll pardon my absence and enjoy these much more amusing examples of failure to communicate.Duct Tape FAILNormally, I dislike the profligate use of FAIL. It inflames my inner English major. But I can't think of a better description for this duct-taped attempt at urban renewal. Of course, the sign is still operational, so I guess it's also a duct tape SUCCESS.Flyer FailAt least the circulars…
  • 4 New Products to Try this Valentine's Day

    13 Feb 2014 | 8:49 pm
    We've told you how to pimp your vajajay, get gorgeous with crazy treatments, decipher her Valentine riddles, and enjoy some quality alone time with an iTunes app. Now Magick Sandwich brings you this dispatch from our annual genital Olympics.***** Our tireless pursuit of hairless pudenda has claimed a hidden casualty. The pubic crab is all but extinct, Bloomberg reports, due to our destruction of its habitat. (Where is PETA? Off protesting the eugenics of dog breeding at the Westminster Kennel Show? Are saber-toothed crotch critters unworthy of affection? How species-ist!)While it may be too…
  • The 9-Step Magick Sandwich Diet Plan

    28 Jan 2014 | 12:55 pm
    It's almost February. How are your New Year's resolutions panning out? Have you given up already? Have you decided not to participate? Ha, trick question: that's a resolution, too! Hedge your bets and resolve to do something that cannot fail! The Magick Sandwich New Year's Diet, soon to be endorsed by Dr. Oz* (*through the mathematical probability that everything will eventually be monetized by Dr. Oz), is the foolproof plan that will make you a winner. Just follow these simple steps:1.  Berate yourself about your weight, size, love handles, saddle bags, anything that makes you feel bad…
  • Naughty Little Elf Gets off the Shelf

    17 Dec 2013 | 7:06 pm
    It all started innocently enough. The "Elf on a Shelf" is a pretty self-explanatory Christmas tradition that I thought would be cute to give to my niece. But I didn't know it has a backstory that makes it special and not a little creepy -- depending on how you feel about animated dolls.Shelf not includedThe elf reports to Santa every night and returns to a different spot the next morning. Sounds a lot like Chucky. Or in this case, bride of Chucky: I got my niece the newfangled girl elf because, hey, I'm nothing if not progressive. And she loves the thing, tells it she's been nice, looks to…
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    コミックインフィニティ

  • お坊さんとの恋愛

    master
    13 Oct 2014 | 10:05 pm
    初恋の人がいて、学生時代は気持ちを伝える事ができずに別れてしまい、しかも連絡先も交換せずじまいだったのでその後何をしているのかさえも行方知らず。そんな時、同窓会のお便りが届き、もしかしたら再会できるチャンスだと思って期待を胸にお化粧も洋服も髪型もバッチリ決めて会場へ早歩きで向かう。…
 
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it.

    Jon
    23 Oct 2014 | 10:36 am
    If there were ever something that belonged on the Stuff Christians Like blog, it’s this video in which Air New Zealand shows you how the Hobbits would prepare to have a safe flight. Bravo! The post If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
  • Group Prayer: The How to’s and The Houdinis

    Jon
    10 Oct 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is another great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) If you’re not already cringing, then you may be what some would call a “sneaky snake.” (words chosen purposefully) We’ve all been there. They’ve just finished up weekly home group, the end draws near, the night is almost over and that can only mean one thing: Time to pray. Out loud. Your leader peers around the circle, and everyone is already saying a small prayer, “Please God, don’t pick me.” One to play the Houdini card? Here are 5 subtle moves to…
  • You broke my burrito! and 2 other moments I stink at giving people grace.

    Jon
    30 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
      Sometimes I like to think I’m good at this grace thing. Mostly this happens after I have listened to the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United. Having been hit with the audio waves of that fantastic chorus 92 times, I take my headphones out and make some strong declarations. “This is it! I’m going to show other people grace! I am going to walk on water and be bold and brave and yay #TeamGrace!” I don’t pronounce the word “Hashtag” out loud because I’m not 13 but in that moment, I do get ready to live with so much grace. Until, I run into these three situations and…
  • Something no counselor tells you about marriage.

    Jon
    23 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    I wish you could take your honeymoon 10 years after you’ve been married instead of 10 minutes after you’ve been married. When you first get married you don’t know how to vacation together. You’re amateurs at this whole “doing life together” thing. On my honeymoon for instance, I decided to spend four hours winning a ping pong tournament. Why? Because I’m an idiot and didn’t know that one of Jenny’s love languages was “Spending quality time together.” I swore that her love language was “My husband winning a ping pong tournament at a Sandals resort.” The vacations we…
  • Bro-ears

    Jon
    19 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is a great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) I’ve spied shell necklaces under a collar. I’ve seen “Ice” swaying about one’s tank. I even once witnessed pants touching the ground, But there’s a new sheriff in town: In-ear monitors In-ear monitors (aka “ears”) are high-tech earphones typically molded to fit snug inside your ear. You know, something a musician uses while performing. I’m enjoying my job as a snobby barista, making lattes and denying room-for-cream, when suddenly a local worship…
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    Out of the mouth of Dave

  • ISIS and Pornography

    David Crane
    13 Oct 2014 | 8:41 am
    Well I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone who follows the news that ISIS runs a pretty tight ship when it comes "morality". Roaming bands of "authorities" patrol the streets administering lashings and a good old fashioned tongue wagging when they see a female in the street who had the misfortune to expose her elbow.For more info on this go here: Woman in Syria With Undercover Camera Exposes Life Under ISIS in SyriaNow male jihadists have "needs" (nudge nudge wink wink) and for the lucky few jihadists who have liberated themselves a new wife those " needs" can be addressed. For the other men…
  • Cooking With ISIS

    David Crane
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:30 pm
    It seems there is more to ISIS then meets the eye.It's true they aspire to claim religious authority over all of the Muslim world.It's also true that they have established a caliphate or religious state.ISIS has been very effective at spreading their propaganda through social media via some ghastly decapitation videos.Maybe they will get some positive press with their take on the traditional Tomato and Cucumber Salad - MMM Refreshing......
  • How I feel after a Grande Espresso at Starbucks

    David Crane
    28 May 2014 | 3:29 pm
  • A hooker, A bag of chips and $5

    David Crane
    21 Sep 2013 | 5:02 pm
    I was sitting parked in my car in a seedier part of town, the sun was going down and societies undesirables were emerging from their crack dens to prowl the streets. Say what you like about society's undesirables but they certainly have an entrepreneurial streak.  Sitting in my car I was offered some crack,meth, molly and a "date" with a toothless lady (?) called Sharon.I politely declined any and all offers -"No thank you sir I will not partake of your fine crack cocaine ""Sorry Sharon I will respectfully decline your offer of a good time"When I had a moment I sent a text to my wife…
  • There's an Aryan in my kitchen.

    David Crane
    22 Jun 2013 | 2:36 pm
    Paula Deen and her latest admittance to using racial slurs has now  reached a higher level of intrigue.Paula Deen for those of you who are not aware, is not a platinum album selling rap artist. A career where the excessive use of the "N" word is necessary  to achieve any degree of success and street cred with your "homies". No Paula is in fact  an American cook, cooking show host, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality.Paula Deen if you haven't figured it out yet is also white.Racism has become an key part of her success in the kitchen. Our…
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Still Here For You, Bunnies!

    PeaceBang
    27 Oct 2014 | 5:45 am
    Sorry to be so neglectful! Just a very bizzy time! I hope to have some time to write this week. Smooches of love and peace to you! Share This Hide Sites
  • Condolences: Beyonce’s Bangs

    PeaceBang
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:26 pm
    I see some bang extensions in Miss Bey’s immediate future. Ouch! Not good! Do not do this to yourselves, pigeons! Super blunt bangs are very hard to carry off in the first place, and you should only attempt them if the rest of your style can keep up, ’cause they are edgy, fabulous and demanding to maintain. Do not rock them without serious consideration and a great sense of image management or they will look silly and immature. That said, even blunt bangs should not be nearly as short as Beyonce’s are on the right. Unless you’re a monk wearing a tonsure ‘do,…
  • Unusual Color Combos

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:13 am
    While I was grabbing screenshots from an episode of “Where Are They Now?” I had to snatch these of Oprah, because she’s looking so fab in big blocks of vibrant colors you wouldn’t think to put together. Cherry red. Poppy orange stilettos. Purple pants. Pink lipstick, strong blush (you don’t wear colors that dramatic with no make-up or you’ll disappear), bold, geometric spectacles, gorgeous, healthy, curly hair. Click on the images to see them better. Share This Hide Sites
  • How To Do The Crazy Hair Color Thing

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I caught a clip of Raven-Symone on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” that made the rounds, and grabbed these screenshots so you could see how to WERQ the hair color trend that’s been getting more popular. THAT is how it’s done, pigeons. Sticking a few strips of vibrant color in the hair and then leaving it frizzy, damaged, unstyled and sitting on the top of your head to make some kind of statement about your creativity doesn’t make any kind of statement at all except, “I had an accident with the hair dye.” It looks immature, unflattering, and calls…
  • Agua Agua Agua

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 7:25 am
    Honey heads, Now that the heat is coming on, remember to drink more wa-wa, okay? It will help you not catch every cold that gets pressed into your hand during Sunday morning fellowship hour. It will help your “innards,” as my Dede (grandfather) used to say. It will make your skin look better. It will keep your voice from getting croaky and developing the dreaded vocal fry. It may prevent dizziness if you’re on medications that you’ve been taking with minimal water. Get up and drink a whole, big glass. Remember to hydrate throughout the day. Talking dehydrates you…
 
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    The Junk Drawer

  • We Have Cats Because They’re Not Dogs. And Yet…

    Kathy
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    So I’ve never been a dog person. First, because I was attacked by a German shepherd as a child. That’ll turn you off dogs for good, lemme tell ya. Second, because dogs eat stuff they shouldn’t, break stuff and need to be taken out for walks. I’m a very easily annoyed and lazy person, so there you go. And yet, I appear to have a dog anyway. A new cat named Chloe, renamed Chewy. Why renamed Chewy? Because of this: This is the HDMI cable from our upstairs TV that suddenly wouldn’t work. Took 45 minutes on the phone with a perplexed RCN tech support guy before I realized the cable had…
  • Back to School Crazy

    Kathy
    8 Aug 2014 | 3:46 pm
    I’d like to start off by saying I tip my hat to all you parents out there. I’m constantly amazed at how you pull off the hardest job in the world, all with a myriad other stresses in your life. I don’t know where you get the time or energy for it. Pat yourselves on the back. Go ahead. Do it. Those of you with kids returning to school in the fall are probably running around right now trying to get all your ducks in a row. I’ve heard of schools sending parents a list of things their children will need before school starts, especially grade school-aged children. Very specific lists that…
  • If Grammar is So Hard, What Hope Do We Have for World Peace, Really?

    Kathy
    12 Jul 2014 | 6:06 am
    Amazon just yelled at me in an email to get off my ass and blog more. Apparently, they like it if the people who subscribe to Junk Drawer on Kindle actually get something they pay for. Since I haven’t written in a month, I got flagged for being a slacker. Sorry Kindle people! I promise to do better and stop writing exclusively for The Facebook. Starting with two grammar failures I found on TV graphics within 12 hours of each other. Signs the world is going to hell in a hand basket: unnecessary apostrophes and misspellings. First, this one had me confused because the TV was muted and I…
  • Maybe Poke It With a Stick?

    Kathy
    1 Jun 2014 | 12:29 pm
    I had no intention of walking ten miles today, I really didn’t. In fact, when I went to bed last night, it was with such a creaky body I figured I would spend all of today on the couch. Instead, I woke up feeling like my whole body had been replaced with one that actually works. When that happens, you take every advantage of it, especially since I’ve suffered from some recurring, frustrating knee pain lately. Pain that’s kept me from doing any kind of meaningful exercise. Since I had zero pain today, I set out to do one or two miles. Which turned into four, which turned into six and…
  • When Is a Walk Not a Walk? When It’s a Near-Death Experience

    Kathy
    27 Apr 2014 | 10:36 am
    Note: Long read ahead. The TL;DR version is this – Went for a walk with a friend. Walk turned into a getting-lost hike in unfamiliar wilderness. Thought I would die. Didn’t die. Now for the long version. Yesterday I met up for lunch with my good blogging friend Valerie. We met halfway between where we each live, in Whitehouse, NJ. After lunch she suggested we go for a walk. "Sure! Let’s!" She pulled out her iPhone and asked Siri for nearby parks. We were going to drive to one park, but passed a different place Siri mentioned that was closer and stopped there instead, Round…
 
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    Weird News FilesWeird News Files » | The Weirdest News Ever

  • How to cool beers in just three minutes

    Editor
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:47 pm
    It always happens that, through an oversight or poor planning, we forget to cool drinks before our guests arrive. What we usually do is to put them in the freezer, but then it also occurs to us that we forget some and then they’re deformed and completely frozen. Things the human beings… Let us show you a trick to please your poor guests! Water doesn’t freeze completely at 0ºC Exactly. A group of scientists from the University of Utah in the United States has shown that water doesn’t totally freeze at 0ºC but at -13°C. This is because at 0°C the molecular…
  • Car Rolled Down Inside the World’s Biggest Plastic Bubble

    Author
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:57 am
    Nissan has touted its Versa Note as one of the safer vehicles out on the roads today. With features such as blind spot monitoring, moving object detection and lane departure warning, it’s an automobile that every parent will want to buy for their beloved child. But the Japanese automaker has seemingly not felt like this has not been highlighted enough for the world to appreciate. So, they decided to put their car inside a giant ZORB and send it rolling down the hill at a speed of 20 miles per hour. Zo-what, you ask? ZORB. Zorbing is a recreational activity where a person (or, in this…
  • So you thought you knew which the fastest animal on Earth is

    Editor
    27 Oct 2014 | 8:19 am
    If we asked what the fastest animal is on Earth, almost all of us would answer it’s the cheetah, with a top speed of between 95 and 115 km/h. Now the thing, can we say an animal is fast (or slow) because it covers a certain amount of miles per hour? Do these units (miles and hours), invented by homo sapiens, mean anything for other animals? How can we compare the speed of an elephant with the one of a caterpillar? Sorry, cheetah… Perhaps a more appropriate choice for measuring speed could be to determine how many ‘bodies‘ (its own body lengths) per second each…
  • Natural Phenomenon That Is Anything but Natural

    Author
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:43 am
    A lot of things happen for no reason, but some bizarre natural phenomenon remains a mystery and holds such fascination, long after explanations are already made. Sailing Stones Also known as sliding rocks and moving rocks, the name pretty much says it all for this natural occurrence. What makes it amazing, however, is not just the fact that the stones move all by themselves every 2 or 3 years, but because the tracks they make develop over 3 or 4 years. After years of research, the cause of the moving stones has also been identified as ice shove, which doesn’t make a lot of sense,…
  • The truth about lizards regenerating their tails

    Editor
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:35 am
    The truth is that the regeneration of the tail is not common in vertebrates, but the lizards do it again and again again, although the new tail’s shorter, with a grayish color and without scales or vertebrae (as you can see in the photo below. The latter ones are replaced by a cartilage type tube, and the spinal cord by an epithelial tissue without nerve endings. Nobody’s perfect This partial “resurrection” happens because it is important for the animal to have the tail in its daily locomotion, for the mating courtship and, what’s more important,…
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    Base Camp Legends

  • Mama bear and cubs encounter

    Sue Sorenson
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I hunted hard during my Spring Bear hunt and never saw hide nor hair of a single bear. I did see a lot of elk… so it is a given that during our elk hunts we see a lot of bear! Here is a little footage of the mother bear and her two yearling cubs that we encountered as we were hiking out from our elk hunt on September 13th. Sure is a thrill to be so close!   The post Mama bear and cubs encounter appeared first on Base Camp Legends.
  • Weeks Three and Four

    Sue Sorenson
    3 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    The third week of September we mixed things up a bit! Gary went hunting with our son Tom, who was here visiting from Nebraska… and I had “Grandma time” with the tribe! There’s nothing like the mind of three and five year olds!! It makes you really appreciate simple things in life when you look at it through the perspective of those little ones. Their favorite meal was “Smashed potatoes” with venison steaks and gravy!    Shooting at Papa’s 3-D Bear!             Picking Grandma’s apples        …
  • Week Two, September 13th

    Sue Sorenson
    23 Sep 2014 | 9:21 pm
    September always slips by too fast! Here we are in the fourth week and I don’t want it to end! After all the action in our last outing, we just couldn’t stay away from our favorite little canyon. So Saturday morning, September 13th we were at the trail head an hour before daylight. It might sound a little strange, but I’ve grown to love those early morning hikes, when the world is just beginning to stir to the dawning of another sunrise. You can feel, even before you hear, the awakening of life… the furtive, secretive sounds of creatures stirring in the brush, and…
  • Up Close!

    Sue Sorenson
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:53 am
    I posted the story of our hunt on September 6th… but here’s the video of my encounter with the bull that came within 16 yards of me! In the video you can see that I would have had an opportunity to shoot when the bull turned. I was thinking all the while he was facing me of this…but my indecision cost me the opportunity! Another lesson learned. You need to be confident and decisive in making judgments on what the bull is presenting you! What a awesome encounter and now of course I’m  helplessly addicted to elk hunting… especially hunting the rut! The post Up…
  • Opening Day

    Sue Sorenson
    16 Sep 2014 | 11:00 am
    August 29, 2014 found us hiking up the mountain to spend the night on a narrow hogback waiting for the dawning of the 2014 archery season. A dawn Gary came close to never seeing… It started with a very innocent looking shale slide. We have crossed many shale slides. This one really looked no different. We found ourselves committed with no turning back when things took a very nasty turn. I had gone on ahead, very consumed with trying to stay on the mountain, so I never noticed until I was across that Gary was not behind me. By this time I had gone around an outcrop of rock so Gary was…
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • Camera Incompetenta

    26 Oct 2014 | 2:41 pm
    (Hey, you know what's a science thing? The exosphere, that's what's a science thing. And as of this week, it's also a Secondhand SCIENCE thing. So that's nice. Have a looksee.) I'm not a good picture taker. Usually, that means that I'm not good at remembering to take pictures. It just doesn't occur to me, in the face of some awe-inspiring spectacle, to yank out a camera and start snapping. In a lot of ways, this makes me a terrible tourist. It makes me a tremendous candidate to be visited by a UFO, probably. Those things don't like any sort of photographic evidence. But as a tourist, I don't…
  • Greece Is Indeed the Word

    18 Oct 2014 | 9:58 pm
    (Science marches on -- even when it's Secondhand SCIENCE. Stop over and learn all about gene drives. Or scarves. Or astronaut fashion. Or raining men. It gets a little weird. Check it out.) I'm a week into a two-week trip to Greece, about which I'm sure I'll have more to say later. For the moment, though, there are six thousand years' worth of ruins that aren't going to trudge through themselves, and a spanakopita calling to me from a taverna down the street. Of course, it's calling to me in Greek, which I don't understand, so maybe it's saying "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!". That would be…
  • Nobody Here But Us Vacationeers

    10 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
    (Which is the bestest quantum mechanical exclusion principle? That's right! The Pauli exclusion principle. Read all about it, and other scientifical oddities, over at Secondhand SCIENCE. It's a pip.) Working in a small company is kind of weird sometimes. I've always avoided big companies, because it seems too easy to get lost in the shuffle. If you've got nine thousand people doing the same thing, then I figure you either end up redundant or way, way specialized. Neither of those seem good. "I don't want to build some application fourteen other people already built, probably better. And…
  • Do No Farm

    4 Oct 2014 | 12:23 pm
    (Yo, science nerds! For this week's ridiculous sciencyness, head over to Secondhand Science to read all about convergent evolution. It's not just for cartoon squirrels and Mario and Luigi any more!) If there's a disadvantage to being a smartass -- and no one's saying there is; I'm just hypothesizing if -- it's that you can't really turn it off. Even when you're not being a smartass, you're being a smartass. Or people assume you're being a smartass, which has more or less the same effect. Namely, you get punished for being a smartass. And that hurts -- on those rare and unexpected occasions…
  • Literally, the Only Thing I'm Writing About Today

    27 Sep 2014 | 5:50 pm
    (The science buzz over at Secondhand SCIENCE this week is all about nucleation. If you like ice, champagne or beer -- that's separately, not all together at once, weirdo -- then nucleation should be on your radar. And maybe in your glass. Bottoms up, science-lover.) Being overly literal -- like, literally literal -- is annoying as hell. Certain figures of speech or inconsistent usages make your cerebellum twitch, like a lab monkey with a forebrain electrode. Or a lab monkey with mild OCD who takes things too literally. Probably that also works, if you're not into torturing primates for the…
 
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    List Of The Day

  • Prank Of The Day: Tape Face

    Cary McNeal
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:42 am
    You're not gonna get him again.
  • Playground Fails Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    28 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    Thanks for the idea, Frannie M. Related: Nightmare Playgrounds
  • News: Butt-Dial 911 Confession Leads To Arrests

    Cary McNeal
    28 Oct 2014 | 6:22 am
    Ha ha, ya thievin' dipshits. From MSN. Couple Butt-Dial 911, Confess To Crime A US couple have been arrested after they accidentally pocket-dialed 911 during a robbery getaway. Aaron Burrell, 37, and Yvonne Thyberg, 35, mistakenly made the phone call after they allegedly stole a television from a house in Roswell, New Mexico. Local police released the audio of the call which reveals the pair
  • Last-Minute Halloween Costume Idea Of The Day: Edgar

    Cary McNeal
    27 Oct 2014 | 1:40 pm
    Nevermore.
  • Dance Craze Fail Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    27 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    I don't think this caught on, thank Christ. It's the first I've heard of it. Link from Rich Girl Red.
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    YouTube: Comedy

  • Jimmy Fallon feat. will.i.am - Ew! (Official Music Video)

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    6 Oct 2014 | 8:46 pm
    Jimmy Fallon feat. will.i.am - Ew! (Official Music Video) Jimmy and will.i.am's teenage-girl alter-egos (Sara and mir.i.am) rap about things they think are "Ew!" Download "Ew!" on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/EW Liste... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 14054434 174086 ratings Time: 02:26 More in Comedy
  • CAT FALLS OUT WINDOW PRANK

    PrankvsPrank
    5 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    CAT FALLS OUT WINDOW PRANK Had to get some sweet payback! Smash That Like Button TeamJesse PrankvsPrank Facebook: http://facebook.com/prankvsprank Jeana's Twitter: http://twitter.com/P... From: PrankvsPrank Views: 8929425 217786 ratings Time: 03:12 More in Comedy
  • Tonight Show Family Feud with Steve Harvey and Jason Segel

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    8 Sep 2014 | 9:55 pm
    Tonight Show Family Feud with Steve Harvey and Jason Segel Steve Harvey hosts a special Tonight Show edition of Family Feud with Jason Segel, Jimmy and Higgins of the Fallon family facing off against Questlove, Tarik... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 2840448 23364 ratings Time: 12:22 More in Comedy
  • Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    2 Sep 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine Jimmy challenges Adam to a friendly game of random musical impressions, like Michael Jackson singing the Sesame Street theme song. Subscribe NOW to The Tonig... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 14737467 83837 ratings Time: 05:02 More in Comedy
  • Jenna's Rachet Salon With Hannah Hart

    JennaMarbles
    13 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    Jenna's Rachet Salon With Hannah Hart Here is the video we did playing Charades Against Humanity on Hannah's channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdbsAubqKvU&list=UUJQL1Fai-9GlVunsbP4x8Pg You ... From: JennaMarbles Views: 2571375 114094 ratings Time: 06:51 More in Comedy
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    English Russia

  • Thousand Feet Underground: Salt Caves Used for Treatment

    tim
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:06 pm
    Kiril Kuletski, a photographer, has visited a unique treatment facility in Ukraine. This is an underground salt mine which has been used for more than forty years to treat respiratory difficulties and it has been proved to be doing this well. No walls, nothing … Read more...
  • Beautiful Shots of Moscow from Above 2014 and a lot info

    tim
    27 Oct 2014 | 1:22 pm
    From time to time, we have seen Moscow as well as other cities from above. However, the city changes and people come up with new ways of getting photos, so let’s see a very fresh set of photos of Moscow … Read more...
  • Faces of Russian Authorities

    tim
    27 Oct 2014 | 10:12 am
      One Russian website collects faces of Russian government workers – those who are in the top roles in Russian federal and regional government. Just look at those faces and try not to laugh.           Would you … Read more...
  • Underground Lava Rivers of Kamchatka

    tim
    26 Oct 2014 | 9:45 pm
    Sergei went to Kamchatka (Kamchatka again) to all those flaming volcanoes and thermal geysers valleys and took some nice photos of what he calls “Underground fire rivers” – or lava streams. Here we offer them for you to enjoy the … Read more...
  • Russian Dramatic Theater in 1958

    tim
    26 Oct 2014 | 8:58 pm
    Very colorful photos of Russian theater back in 1958, actresses and actors. It is highly recommend to see them. Even though there are not many photos, they are very bright and telling. Also, the photos are clickable for larger sizes. … Read more...
 
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    Strange Herring

  • A Strange Preview: The Overnighters

    Anthony Sacramone
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:47 am
    So you’ve all heard of this “oil rush” happening in North Dakota, right? If not, there’s this oil rush happening in North Dakota. People from every which place are flooding into the state to take advantage of the one million barrels a day of oil that are being produced—and the jobs that kind of production floats. Only the promise of quick riches is proving to be empty for many who have forsaken everything to head north. Documentarian Jesse Moss got wind of one community, Williston, affected by the influx of “immigrants” to the state in search of…
  • A Strange Review: Left Behind

    Anthony Sacramone
    6 Oct 2014 | 5:29 am
    On Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: So I’m watching Mars Needs Women on one of those goofily named cable channels in the upper four hundreds and a few minutes into this thing I realize the flaw in the premise. You’re all familiar with this film, correct? Seen it a thousand times no doubt. It begins banally enough: there’s a couple playing tennis, a couple out to dinner, then suddenly poof! people start disappearing. And not just any people: women people. What’s going on? Where did they go? Who is responsible? (It’s 1967, mind, so there’s a lot of…
  • “The Giver” and the Gift That Keeps on Taking

    Anthony Sacramone
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:38 am
    So I have a review over at the Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong. Every single time.” So says the Chief Elder, a firm believer in the Reformed doctrine of total depravity, apparently. In The Giver, the film adaptation of Lois Lowry’s 1993 award-winning, giga-billion-selling novel, we are introduced to a Community born out of the Ruins, the result of a cataclysm so devastating that remnant elites constructed an artificial environment in which there is no war, no suffering, no envy, no jealousy, no differences to fight…
  • Declare Social-Media Bankruptcy

    Anthony Sacramone
    23 Mar 2014 | 11:39 am
    Carrie Brownstein did. And all she lost was Fred Armisen. Filed under: Social Media Is Neither
  • The Rapper and the Nun

    Anthony Sacramone
    22 Mar 2014 | 4:06 pm
    So Sister Cristina Scuccia is a 25-year-old Sicilian nun who appeared on the Italian edition of The Voice. J-Ax, apparently, is a rapper of devilish reputation. When asked by the host what the Vatican thought about her appearing on The Voice, Sister Cristina replied, “Listen, I really don’t know. I am waiting for Pope Francesco to call me on the phone . . . He always says we should go out and evangelize, telling [people that] God doesn’t take anything away from us, but will give us more.” Enjoy. Filed under: "Entertainment", General Strangeness
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Pumpkin Pi

    awkward
    29 Oct 2014 | 10:03 pm
    “These are my 3 sons. The oldest on the left is wearing his robe backwards like a Snuggie, Caden sitting below seems oblivious that a camera is near and decided this was the day he’d style his hair like a 65 year old man from the 60′s. Mason on the left doesn’t seem to mind that the palm branches are caressing his locks. For the last 10 years, I’ve always carved a pumpkin for the boys. My oldest named it “Boo Zoo Elf” when he was 5 and thus we’ve stuck with Boo-Zoo Elf 2, 3, 4,….. Boo-Zoo Elf 10 appears in a few days.” (submitted by…
  • Hold Please

    awkward
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Please don’t text and deliver. (submitted by Jen) Please don’t text and deliver. (submitted by Jen)
  • Squeezebox

    awkward
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:59 pm
    “This picture was taken in a photo booth that was quite small. We all tried our best to fit..well…this was the end result!! It has been one of our most treasured family portraits for years!!” (submitted by Charlene) “This picture was taken in a photo booth that was quite small. We all tried our best to fit..well…this was the end result!! It has been one of our most treasured family portraits for years!!” (submitted by Charlene)
  • The Arrival

    awkward
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:22 am
    No amount of lamaze could have prepared her for this. (submitted by Denise) No amount of lamaze could have prepared her for this. (submitted by Denise)
  • Backbreaker

    awkward
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:39 am
    Picked the wrong day to wear ankle-highs. (submitted by Shantal in Canada)   Picked the wrong day to wear ankle-highs. (submitted by Shantal in Canada)  
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    Fair City News

  • Persimmon Chopsticks Seed Indicate GODZILLA!

    FairCityNews.com
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    Persimmon seed chopsticks predict monster invasion Springfield, MO – According to weather folklore, the seed of a persimmon can give clues about an upcoming winter’s weather patterns; the fork, knife and spoon shapes are indicators to what winter may hold. However, this fall the seeds have yielded a rare shape, the chopsticks, and speculation is rampant as horticulturists try to find a meaning behind the message. “Chopsticks in a persimmon seed? Never heard of it,” said native Ozarker Eric Timmonsber, “Seems like someone planted their persimmons incorrectly.” Others are less…
  • Man Attempts Leaficide

    FairCityNews.com
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    Man covers self with leaves, hopes for motorist Springfield, MO – Large trees are often considered beautiful especially during the fall when leaves change color in bright bursts of red, orange and yellow, however, one resident became overwhelmed by the falling foliage this weekend and was found in a leaf pile on the street after an attempted leaficdie outside his home. Neighbors said they heard moaning and complaining coming from the man’s backyard all weekend but none expected this type of behavior from a well-rounded, respected home owner. “He was howling and cursing all weekend.
  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:52 am
  • Dead Bodies Cremated via Fireworks Display

    FairCityNews.com
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    Oohs and uhhs for spectators holding their breath Springfield, MO – Starting this Saturday, Greenfawn Memorial Gardens will showcase its first ever fireworks display by strapping dead bodies to large pyrotechnics in order to cremate dead people with a big bang. These heavy-duty fireworks are manufactured to be attached to dead bodies by PM Pyrotechnics.  The inaugural display will be near Greenfawn Memorial Gardens. “We are anxious to see the first of what we hope to be many of these unique fireworks displays. We’re eager to see if all of the pyrotechnics will explode the bodies…
  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
 
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    FMyLife

  • thealaskanyoung says FML

    thealaskanyoung
    29 Oct 2014 | 8:58 pm
    Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML
  • OfficeFatty says FML

    OfficeFatty
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:41 pm
    Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "my mass keeps me warm anyway". FML
  • lexigan4 says FML

    lexigan4
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:39 pm
    Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    29 Oct 2014 | 10:06 am
    Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML
  • fired tomoz says FML

    fired tomoz
    29 Oct 2014 | 8:46 am
    Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML
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    Lowering the Bar

  • TSA Confiscates Ray-Gun-Shaped Belt Buckle

    Kevin
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    As I've said before, we can't just assume everyone at the TSA is an idiot and/or a petty bureaucrat drunk on his or her semi-power. This story confirms that. It suggests that only 40 to 80 percent of them are. Set phasers to stupid In an email to Reason magazine, Sean Malone reports that TSA agents at LAX stole his belt buckle, which apparently looked like this. He had it in a carry-on bag, so it's under-standable that they might want to take a closer look after a shape like this appears on the X-ray monitor. In a sane world the agent would look at it, see it's a belt buckle, and move…
  • Sheriff: We Need Armored Vehicles to Intimidate People

    Kevin
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:30 am
    "People may not understand why," said Sheriff's Capt. Greg Bean, "but an armored vehicle is almost a necessity now." Here's why he says he needed one: Looks can be deceiving, though, and in any event the man, at least, certainly looks very angry. So maybe we can assume that he was considered dangerous and— "[Bean] also said that while [he] was never considered dangerous, he was known to be argumentative." Oh. Well, we can't have that. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (both photos by Ryan Lister), the armored car was sent as backup for the 24 armed officers that had already…
  • Fight Over Alcohol Ban Ends When Town Learns It Doesn't Have One

    Kevin
    27 Oct 2014 | 1:00 pm
    It's too late to vote this year in Hanover, Manitoba, because Election Day was October 22. On the other hand, if your main interest was the referendum on whether to repeal the town's long-standing ban on alcohol sales, don't feel bad, because it turns out the town never actually had a ban on alcohol sales. Or, at least, nobody can prove it did. Following vote, alcohol is now still not illegal here Hanover is a rural municipality southeast of Winnipeg, comprised of about 14,000 people living in five townships and points inbetween. According to a 1982 history by local resident Lydia Penner, the…
  • Whom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make Mad

    Kevin
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:24 pm
    There are many great lines Justice Fergus O'Donnell's opinion in R. v. Duncan (2013), which was an otherwise unremarkable case except that the defendant tried to run one of those "sovereign citizen" defenses up the flagpole. That didn't go so well: Thus it was that the trial began with Mr. Duncan objecting to us proceeding on the basis that I had no jurisdiction over him. Mr. Duncan provided me with an “affidavit of truth”, a rather substantial volume that appeared to me to be the result of somebody doing a Google search for terms like “jurisdiction” and the…
  • Guy Sues Legal System Again

    Kevin
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:27 pm
    Just the one in Illinois, at least for now. According to the Madison Record (thanks, Dave), Aaron Wemple has sued the Illinois State Bar Association and all of its members, alleging that ... well, that it and they have done and/or are doing something to him and/or others that requires compensation in an amount not less than $250,030,550,000. I wasn't able to get the complaint (for free), but here's how the Record describes it: According to the complaint, the [ISBA] "was engaged in the business of exclusively authorizing processes for sale to and use by members of the…
 
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    nonamedufus

  • Photo Blogging Challenge - October

    nonamedufus
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I think our good friend P.J. over at a 'lilhoohaa must have run out of topics because he told participants in October's challenge that the theme was Photographer's Choice.  Fine by me. And so I've got a somewhat eclectic collection of photos to share.In late October my wife and I took a little long weekend getaway to Mont-Tremblant. Some of you may know already that I march to the sound of a different drummer. Given that, I went and bought one at an antique store for my music room.We spent the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend in Bath, Ontario near Kingston at my brother's place. Here's a…
  • Best Hidden Away - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    28 Oct 2014 | 7:30 am
    Let me tell you a little story from some years ago.It was dark. It was stormy. I know, I know that opening is best hidden away. But that's the way it was.The rain-slicked streets captured the fallen leaves like wallpaper paste. Better? Thank you.The little ghosts and goblins were out in full force although some older spooks were best hidden away until later as it was only 7pm. But it was the chatter of those pint-sized spirits that filled the air like the sound of chipmunks who knew their nuts were best hidden away. Take that whatever way you want.And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap -…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    26 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
  • The End of the Innocence

    nonamedufus
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Yesterday, a lone gunman shot a 24 year-old military reservist, part of a two-man honour guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier at Ottawa's War Memorial, ironically in the shadow of the Peace Tower. He died later in hospital despite attempts by civilians and first responders to save his life. Then the gunman crossed the street ran across the lawn of Parliament Hill and entered the Centre Block, down the very corridor where the government and opposition parties were separately caucusing. The head of Parliamentary security, known as the Sergeant-at-Arms encountered the gunman and shot him…
  • He Knew The Truth - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    21 Oct 2014 | 8:44 am
    Gorax peered out over the landscape. It was kind of like watching a Samsung flatscreen because Gorax was a pupil of the little known planet of Retina where all inhabitants sported 13 eyeballs held aloft from their head by two giant horns.Gorax's pal and room mate Scrotum came from another planet known as Testicle. We won't go into what his physical features were. Save to say that Gorax, as Scrotum would often tell others, "he knew the truth".The truth? I hear you say. Yes, Scrotum was very brave. Dare I say, not unlike a golfer, he had a lot of balls.On this morning Gorax and Scrotum were a…
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    Christopher Gabriel

  • The CGP Receives 3rd Straight Best Radio Show Nomination

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    The Christopher Gabriel Program has aired on 970 WDAY and wday.com since June 8, 2009. The program has had a wealth of remarkable guests from the worlds of sports, entertainment, politics, science and more, coming from right here in Fargo to as far away as Australia, Israel and South Africa. Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winners, Oscar, Grammy, Tony and Emmy winners, professional and college coaches and athletes, New York Times best-selling authors, news bureau chiefs from the U.S. to Europe to Asia… the list goes on and on. Throw into the mix a group of incredibly talented contributors like…
  • POLITICO’s Philip Ewing on Iraq, Iran and Israel (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:54 pm
    Philip Ewing is the senior defense reporter for POLITICO. Previously he was their Pentagon correspondent and the managing editor for news at military.com. An expert on affairs in the Middle East, in particular Iraq and Afghanistan, he joined the program to discuss the escalating sectarian violence in Iraq, what card Iran might play, the effect on Israel and what might be the most prudent move the United States can make. photo credit: POLITICO
  • USA Today’s Christine Brennan on Redskins controversy (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:33 pm
    USA Today sportswriter Christine Brennan has been an outspoken critic against the NFL’s Washington franchise’s continuing use of the name “Redskins.” She is hardly alone as there are many who would like to see the name go away sooner than later. Similarly, there are seemingly just as many on the other side – including fans, players, team personnel and league officials – who have no problem with the name and believe this is all much ado about nothing. Christine joined me to share both her view and considerable perspective being that she’s been based in…
  • Kate Inglis on her new book, “Flight of the Griffons” (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    1 Jun 2014 | 7:43 pm
    Several years ago I became acquainted with a wonderful photographer from Halifax, Nova Scotia named Kate Inglis. Over time what I came to learn was as brilliant as her photography was, she was an even better writer. Her first book, “The Dread Crew: Pirates of the Backwoods,” was a rollicking romp for kids involving pirates… pirates who “sailed” on land. Her follow-up effort, “Flight of the Griffons,” is even more magical. What makes her work so unique is that ostensibly, it’s for kids. And yet adults will love it, too. She writes, she shoots…
  • Dr. Gordon Marino: Do What You Love… Or Maybe Not (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    28 May 2014 | 2:24 pm
    Dr. Gordon Marino is a professor of philosophy at St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN. He’s also authored many articles that have appeared in Atlantic Monthly, New York Times Magazine, Wall Street Journal, American Poetry Review and many other periodicals. Most recently Marino wrote A Life Beyond ‘Do What You Love’ for The New York Times. Considering the amount of play that phrase – that concept – now receives in our society, I wanted to have a chat with Dr. Marino to have him amplify on what he wrote. photo credit: St. Olaf College
 
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    Ann's Rants

  • I Wrote Another GodForsaken Blogiverary Post so You Don’t Have to

    Ann Imig
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Today I’m blog-hopping, writing with friends on the theme of “I did [fill in the blank] so you don’t have to” inspired by JD, who seems to have retired her similarly themed blog in 2013. Mom, Dad, this is one of those esoteric blogger-posts. Over the years, I’ve run the blogiversary gamut, writing satire and sap,  self-reflection and sass.  I even tried my hand at creating animated videos, making myself creative director of cartoon characters able to move their appendages in random bursts, and only at odds with their dialogue. Imagine a flip-book featuring a…
  • Duck, Duck, Inflection-afflicted Goose

    Ann Imig
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:05 am
    “Hilarious. Kind. Mega-babe.” My classmate used none of these words to describe me. In graduate school, I took a class on therapy group dynamics. As part of the experiential curriculum, we formed our own groups. The instructor asked us to go around our circle, and use a sole descriptor for each group member. One of my peers looked straight in my eyes, and said without hesitation, about me,“Intense.” Her assessment took me so far aback, I disappeared into my neck, Beaker, style. Intense. Moi? photo   Meep meep? See, I had earned the reputation in my family as the easy going child.
  • Changing Seasons

    Ann Imig
    22 Sep 2014 | 8:45 am
    I love this change of seasons. By the time I’ve finally input my boys’ extra-curriculars into my iBrain, our Midwestern Indian summer cools down for crisp mornings. My kids settle in to their classrooms, the new routine becomes more familiar, and we can enjoy our walk to school among trees turning Technicolor. Though I adapt fairly well to changing schedules, and welcome the swap from sweaty maxi-dresses to cozy sweater coats, it’s the metaphorical changing of seasons with which I sometimes struggle. In fact, as my kids grow they seem to spin through the seasons of their lives far…
  • Kindergartners at the preschool reunion

    Ann Imig
    16 Sep 2014 | 10:35 am
    Recently my niece (who works as a nanny) made me aware that not only do some preschools hold graduation ceremonies, but some also hold reunions for their graduates. Imagine all the catching up among those 5-year-olds! Okay, I’ll imagine for you…   “OMG! You look exactly the same!!” “No, I look better. I wipe my own nose now!”   “Boy, please, those skinny jeans look AMAZE. What’s your secret?” “No diaper butt, no problem! [wink]“   “Wememboh when we wew babies and couldn’t say ouw lettoh ow?
  • Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s “Rare Bird” is an open palm of faith, fortitude, and hope

    Ann Imig
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:00 am
    Today Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s memoir Rare Bird appears  in bookstores everywhere. Three years ago yesterday, her son Jack went out to play in the rain and never came home.   I wrote, then: “One of ours has lost one of theirs. He was right here—just the other day—and now no more. Children die every day. We know this, and we keep walking our own paths, trying to keep sight of our own children and loved ones, busy with the foraging of our own day. Mothers, fathers, daughters and sons walk all around us, and every day people get separated from the pack—lost, perished. As…
 
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    The Good, Clean Funnies List

  • Joining the Army

    info@gcfl.net
    30 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every…
  • Fishing

    info@gcfl.net
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing, but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She finally wore him down so he consented, and early one morning they took off for the lake. They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home." On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna…
  • Green Side Up

    info@gcfl.net
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    A young real estate man was showing a lady around a house that she wanted to look at before she could make any commitments. They were on the second floor, also the top floor, when the man walked over to one of the windows that faced the road and yelled out, "Green side up!" The lady gave him a strange look, but she continued on with the man on the tour. They got to the main floor, and again, after he had shown her all the rooms, he went over to a window that faced the road and yelled out, "Green side up!" The lady looked around, trying to figure out what the man was talking about, but she…
  • Great Word Game

    info@gcfl.net
    27 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    Give this PLENTY of thought, and don't cheat! See if you can figure out what these words have in common. This isn't a joke. Banana Dresser Grammar Potato Revive Assess Uneven Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try... you'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. Go back and look at them again; think hard. OK... Here you go... hope you didn't cheat. This is so cool. Answer . . . . . In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Received from Larry.
  • Concert Program

    info@gcfl.net
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    When my youngest daughter was three, she begged to be allowed to attend a concert with her older sister and brother. She assured me she was a big girl and would behave herself. As we took our seats in the orchestra hall, I handed programs to the kids. Following the lead of her older siblings, my three-year-old opened her program, and in her most grown-up voice said, "Mommy, I'll have the chicken, please..." Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
 
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    The Velvet Blog

  • This blog post does not exist

    5 Oct 2014 | 1:24 pm
    So, those two pieces I wrote for issues 17 and 18 of the Cashiers du Cinemart zine have been posted online. My piece on the terrible movie After Last Season is here, and my article on how Michael Powell adapted the novel They're a Weird Mob is here. And you imagined this blog post. Spooky, huh?
  • Or, "cream plectrums" could be an unfortunate medical condition

    14 May 2014 | 3:35 pm
    Some random person followed me on Twitter this afternoon. She has 12,000 followers, but when you look at their names, you can tell they're mostly bots, with names formed in a game of Twitter Mad Libs. But, oddly, most sound like they could be band names for specific niches. Below, a partial list, followed by suggested genre: criticize_lymph: Shoegaze.vacuum_afterglo: New age.ideal_corpuscl: Heavy metal cover band from Eastern Europe.Indian_bamboozl: Fake world music.liver_looter: Bar band.reject_blouse: Riot grrrrl.conclusion_clam: High school garage band.breath_garbolog: EDM.baby_coincident:…
  • Close the door lightly when you go

    3 Apr 2014 | 2:16 pm
    I hereby propose a moratorium on use of "slams" in headlines. Also, synonyms for "slams." But, really, mostly "slams." All of these headlines were posted to Google News within a time frame of a few hours (I swear): Jennette McCurdy slams Nickelodeon, but network says 'Sam & Cat' Season 2 is a goAnthony Bourdain slams Nigella Lawson's U.S. travel banCris Carter slams Eagles with hypocritical tweet in support of DeSean JacksonEx-auditor-general Fraser slams elections bill as attack on democracyFranken slams Supreme Court decision on campaign contribution Nancy Pelosi Slams Supreme Court's…
  • Hello? Is this thing on?

    25 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead. You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook. But now that I have your attention: I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here). Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter…
  • Edna and Elbert

    12 Nov 2013 | 7:33 pm
    3-16-16 We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, Grace [unreadable]
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    Futility Closet

  • The Long View

    Greg Ross
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:59 pm
    Image: Wikimedia Commons Hitler’s chief architect, Albert Speer, favored a “theory of ruin value” in which German buildings would collapse into aesthetically pleasing ruins, like those of classical antiquity. “I want German buildings to be viewed in a thousand years as we view Greece and Rome,” he said. Using special materials and applying statistical principles, Speer claimed to have created structures that in 1,000 years would resemble Roman ruins. “The ages-old stone buildings of the Egyptians and the Romans still stand today as powerful architectural…
  • Hot Lunch

    Greg Ross
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:37 am
    Christina Malmo of Montana patented this combination lantern and dinner pail in 1905. The lantern, which contains its own fuel source, hugs the pail, “conducting heat to the victuals within.” “This close connection between the lamp attachment and the dinner-pail serves the double purpose of steadying the lamp, thus avoiding any swinging which would occur were the lamp attached by any loose means. The second utility of this close connection is that the heat from the lamp is thus utilized in warming the victuals within the dinner-pail, a very useful advantage to a miner or any…
  • Death Poems

    Greg Ross
    28 Oct 2014 | 11:55 pm
    In Japanese culture it is traditional to write a “farewell poem to life,” or jisei, as death approaches. Zen monk Kozan Ichikyo wrote this verse on the morning of his death in 1360: Empty-handed I entered the world Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going — Two simple happenings That got entangled. And monk Mumon Gensen wrote this in 1390: Life is like a cloud of mist Emerging from a mountain cave And death A floating moon In its celestial course. If you think too much About the meaning they may have You’ll be bound forever Like an ass to a stake. On March 17, 1945,…
  • Montmort’s Theorem

    Greg Ross
    28 Oct 2014 | 3:37 pm
    Suppose n students are sitting at n desks in a classroom. They’re asked to stand, mill around at random, and then sit again. What is the probability that at least one student will find herself in her original seat? Intuition says that the probability ought to drop as the number of students increases, but in fact it remains about the same: In fact, Pierre Rémond de Montmort showed in 1708 that it’s Whether there are 10 students or 10,000, the chance that at least one student returns to her own seat is about 2/3.
  • Romance Denied

    Greg Ross
    28 Oct 2014 | 7:35 am
    James Bosworth survived the Charge of the Light Brigade in 1854 and went on to become a railway stationmaster in Southampton, England, where he died in an accident at age 70. His epitaph reads: Though shot and shell flew around fast, On Balaclava’s plain, Unscathed he passed, to fall at last, Run over by a train. (Thanks, Doug.)
 
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    Fib News - Various business entities for your business

  • Reasons for Purchasing Instagram Likes

    rock
    27 Oct 2014 | 3:34 am
    Instagram is perceived as a platform in social media wherein a massive number of users get connected. This helps the in the promotion of a business. What is even good is that popularity can be measured through this. This is done by knowing that an account has the maximum followers that it can have. As mentioned, followers would indicate how unique a user can be. There is a must to exert some effort with regard to this. Start-up businesses may start by creating an account for their enterprise. After this, they may buy real Instagram likes and followers later on. Business promotion will never…
  • How to pick best services for instagram likes?

    rock
    27 Oct 2014 | 3:18 am
    The best way that you should select the service provider is to know the details of the service providers that the competitors would have selected for getting their instagram likes. Once knowing such details you would have two options to go with. The first is to assign the task of getting likes for your business also to the same service provider. The second option is to identify the competitor of the service provider whom your competitor has used and then try to Buy likes on instagram from them. They with the intention to beat out their competitors would render you best service. How do you…
  • The Easiest Way to Acquire Followers in Instagram

    rock
    22 Oct 2014 | 4:26 am
    It can be a daunting task to manage a business online. You have to think about the demands of people while searching for ways on how you can surpass your competitors. Though establishing an online business is so easy and will not require you to spend much, establishing an excellent online presence so that you can acquire potential customers quickly and make remarkable sales can be the hardest part. You have to make sure that you can get the attention of viewers so that you can make a move to encourage purchase from you. You have to make them feel that your products are definitely a great deal…
  • How to Prepare Your Sprinkler System for the Winter

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:25 am
    Winter is coming once more. This is the season when sprinkler systems get broken and brittle. But these problems can be avoided. You just need to do some precautions in order to avoid damage to your sprinkler system. This article will give some tips on how to winterize your sprinkler system. Winterizing means you need to prepare your sprinkler system for the cold weather. You need to do some precautionary measures if you want your system lasts longer. One of the things that you should do is to heat your sprinkler system. You need to wrap it with insulating materials to protect it from snow.
  • Guidelines in Buying Instagram Likes

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:22 am
    There is a lot of people who buy instagram likes for the photos and short video clips that they are posting in the mobile application. Probably, you are wondering on why they are buying Instagram likes and would also want to consider it for your account. Due to that, it is important for you to follow a certain guideline that you can make use to be successful in getting the Instagram likes that you need. The first thing that you have to do is to find the right source for the likes that you want. There are so many websites in the internet that offers both Instagram likes followers and it is not…
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Conservative one line jokes

    traymond
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:24 am
    Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it!  Its now the overseas contingency operation. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?  5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the homeowner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change. Why…
  • How old was that used car?

    traymond
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    How old was that used car that you bought? How old? Why, it’s so old that it doesn’t have dents, it has wrinkles! It’s so old that I had to remove the license plates to get it to go over 10 miles per hour—it couldn’t handle the load! If that car had been a few years older, Moses could have driven it over the Red Sea!
  • What is Murphy’s Law?

    traymond
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:23 am
    Clown 1: What is Murphy’s Law? Clown 2: “Anything that can go wrong, will.” Clown 1: Good. And what is Segal’s law? Clown 2: “A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.” Clown 1: Excellent: And what is Cole’s Law? Clown 2: Thinly sliced cabbage, with mayonnaise and carrots.
  • What do you call cold tea?

    traymond
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:24 am
    Clown 1: “What do you call cold tea?” Clown 2: “Iced tea.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold coffee?” Clown 2: “Iced coffee.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold ink?” Clown 2: “Iced ink?” Clown 1: “Then go have a shower.”
  • What’s a matta with you?

    traymond
    29 Sep 2014 | 8:13 am
    Louie: What’s this? Latka: It’s a kebble. Louie: What’s a kebble? Latka: 110 kebble make a lithnitch. Louie: What’s a lithnich? Latka: 270 lithnich make a matta. Louie: What’s a matta? Latka: I don’t know, what’s a matta with you?
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends, Episode 3

    Chad Russell
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:24 pm
    Article by Chad Russell « Back to Episode 2It's an exciting day here on location for episode three of "The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends." We're at a very special little coffee shop in Marquette, Michigan where, to our great surprise, we've made an outstanding discovery: Bigfoot! Now, I know what you're thinking, loyal reader: "But Don Johnson last week you said we were going to go into the woods to search for a bigfoot..." To which I would reply, "Why go into the woods to search for a bigfoot when it turns out that THE Bigfoot frequents a coffee shop…
  • The Snippets Restrain Themselves

    Nathan DeGraaf
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:35 pm
    Blog by Nathan DeGraaf Tom: You ever miss Florida?Me: Only when it's cold out, or when I want to go to the beach or when I get horny.Tom: So, every day then?Me: Pretty much. Lacey: Tina's having a rough time with her breakup. Me: Well, divorce can be tough. Lacey: Oh, not the one with her husband. The one with her boyfriend.Me: Of course.Ron: Did you hear about Oscar Taveras?Bob: Yeah. It's so sad. Sorry, dude. Ron: It's not your fault.Bob: You obviously don't know how much I influence Dominican Republic roadways. Ron: Asshole.  Jenny: There's nothing in your freezer.Me: There's ice.Jenny:…
  • Observations Like Kansas City Style Ebola

    Nathan DeGraaf
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:35 pm
    Blog by Nathan DeGraaf Today the Pope decided that it's cool if you're down with the big bang theory and evolution. He's getting laid back, that Pope. But you still can't fuck with his car. That's an ass whooping waiting to happen. And don't even think about looking at his shoes. Dude's style is not for sale.I used to know a girl who told me that she could not believe that criminals are allowed cellular phones in jail. She had read some story about an inmate posting pictures on Facebook from his cell block. When I told her that criminals are not allowed cellular phones in jail she asked,…
  • Figuring Out the Origin of the Universe is a Waste of Time & Space

    Robby Rothfeld
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:09 pm
    Article by Robby Rothfeld I count on smart people to make my life easier and protect me from harm. They have their jobs, I have mine. So when smart people waste time on stupid tasks, it doesn't just bother me, it worries me. And perhaps the stupidest thing I can think of that thousands of smart people waste enormous amounts of time doing is hovering around very expensive, very large telescopes filled with rows and rows of very large mirrors, trying to figure out how the universe was created.The benefit to mankind of knowing the origin of the universe is...what? And the chance that we on Earth…
  • RE: 12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread

    Luke Strickler
    28 Oct 2014 | 4:00 pm
    Article by Luke Strickler Dear Luke Strickler, Thank you for submitting your piece, "12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread," to LaughSmack. Our editors have decided that it's not quite right for us, and would thank you never to submit anything ever again. Although we appreciate your effort in trying to bring quality material to our site, what you have written here is absolute filth, and we encourage you to stop trying all together. We have printed out a copy of your piece, burned it, dragged the file into the trash bin, as well as placed the computer in a dumpster. We ask…
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Grimace

    Mitesh Asher
    30 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    When Susan walked into the living room in curlers and a much-worn night gown, her husband Ruth could not hide a grimace and commented, "How I wish you could look like how you were when we got married."Susan replied, "Yeah? Tell me how can I? I ain't pregnant!"
  • How fast?

    Mitesh Asher
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Roy lived in the countryside with his family. One morning, he was helping his buffalo give birth, when he noticed that his daughter, Kelly, was watching the entire event with curious eyes.Roy thought to himself that one day he will have to explain to her about the birds and the bees. Why not grab the opportunity and start now, as this was a good occasion. After the process was over, and a little baby buffalo was born, Roy walked up to Kelly and asked, "Well sweetheart, do you have any questions?"Little Kelly, still shaken by the entire experience, asked, "How fast was the calf going when it…
  • Airport embarrassment

    Mitesh Asher
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    This is the story of my friend Joe. Joe was a traveling salesman who would often go out of town on business. One night when Joe returned from a business trip, there was heavy thunder and lightning. He opened the bedroom door and found both his children, Mark and Tina, in bed with his wife. They must have been scared by the sound of thunder and must have wanted the comfort of their mother. Joe went down and slept on the couch that night.The next morning, during breakfast, Joe explained to his kids that it was fine to sleep with their mother if they are scared, but if he was expected to be…
  • Missing husband

    Mitesh Asher
    27 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Gina calls the police to report that her husband, John is missing since 3 days. An officer comes to meet her and asked her to describe her missing husband. Gina tells the investigating officer, "John height is 6' 3", very handsome, has thick hair, and a smile that can light up a room."The officer makes notes and then rings the neighbor's doorbell to investigate. The neighbor, Mrs. Jones tells him that she had noticed nothing unusual. When asked about John's appearance to match what his wife Gina had said, Mrs. Jones said, "She is a liar. John's must not be more than 5' 5". He is bald, has…
  • Bad weather

    Mitesh Asher
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan was up early on Sunday morning, dressed up, packed sandwiches for himself, took the dog by the leash, and tip-toed into the garage. He loaded the boat into his Chevrolet pick-up truck, fired it up and drove into the pouring rain. There was heavy snowfall with sharp gusts of wind. Nathan drove back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that there would be a storm. So he quietly went back to the house, changed into his pyjamas and slipped into the. He ran his hand all over his wife's back and whispered, "The weather's really bad!"She replied in a sleepy voice, "Can you…
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Teen's concerns

    Mitesh Asher
    30 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Molly was entering her teens and her mother Becky was concerned, as all mothers of teenagers are.One day Becky decided that she needed to talk to her daughter about growing up, so she began, "Molly, I wanted to have a little chat with you about how humans have babies. You know when a woman has a baby in her womb...."Molly interrupted her, "Wait a minute, Mom, though it sounds interesting coming from you...what I really wanna know is how to fake a climax."
  • No bananas

    Mitesh Asher
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    When Joseph made a small mathematical error in his MIS report, his boss Mr. Jones did not miss the opportunity to demean him in front of his colleagues. Mr. Jones said to Joseph in an angry tone,"If you had 4 bananas, and I asked you to give me 2, how many would you be left with?"Without hesitation, Joseph replied, "If YOU had asked, I would still be left with 4 bananas."
  • Not me, I am married

    Mitesh Asher
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    I was a little high that night. I was walking down the street when a lady of the the night suddenly confronted me and said, "Hello darling. Interested in some oral? Only $100.""Not me", I said, "I am married."The woman said, "How does it matter?"I replied, "It matters. My wife will do it for only $50."
  • Grey hair

    Mitesh Asher
    27 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Little Susan asked her father, "Daddy, why has some of your hair turned grey?"Harry replied, "Whenever you are disobedient, one of my hair turns grey."Little Susan said, "Oh, no wonder grandma's hair is all grey."
  • Experimenting

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    George said to his hot date, "Do you want to experiment with unnatural love-making? How about me putting it in the other opening?"Sharon said, "What?? I would never let anyone stick it in my back passage unless I an drunk and not in my senses."George said quickly, "Okay. You can find the scotch in the pantry."
 
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • FFF Episode #6 (Web Comic): The One-Eyed Snake Charmer

    Daniel Newton
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:19 pm
    Click here for the previous episode... Click here to go back to the start... Happy Freaky Friday! Enjoy episode 6 of the Condroodoo's most funky, most rock'n'roll webcomic ever.  Possibly.  Probably, since I made Condroodoo up for the sake of the comic. Click here for the previous episode...
  • FFF Episode #5 (Web Comic): The Freaky Freaky Fight Scene

    Daniel Newton
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:21 pm
    Click here for the Previous Episode ... Click here for the Next Episode... Click here to go back to the start... Hello Freaky Freaky Friday'er!  Back for another adventure?  Great!  Because this is my favourite episode so far. Enjoy! :-) P.S. If you haven't joined the Freaky Freaky Friday family yet, then it is not too late.  Just go to dgnproduction.com and let me know where to send you each
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #4 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 2

    Daniel Newton
    9 Oct 2014 | 6:17 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: IntroductionEpisode 1Episode 2 Episode 3 Or click here to read the next episode... Below is episode #4 of Freaky Freaky Friday to lighten up your Friday.   Click here to read the next episode... Or if you'd like to revisit a past episode, click one of the episodes below:
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #3 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 1

    Daniel Newton
    2 Oct 2014 | 4:32 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: Introduction Episode 1 Episode 2 Or if you'd like to go to the next episode, click here. Hello and happy Friday!   I hope you enjoy this week's episode of Freaky Freaky Friday, the comic that does absolutely everything you're not suppose to do in a comic, and breaks all the stupid rules... and then laughs about it like a madman greeting the moon.
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #2 (Web Comic): The Chalice of Condroodoo

    Daniel Newton
    25 Sep 2014 | 2:50 pm
    Click here for Episode 1... Click here for the Next Episode (Episode 3)... Good morning! Hope your week has been flying high and you are ready for another 'Freaky Freaky Fridays' adventure! If you are, sit down with a tea or a coffee, or a water, or an imaginary drink, and enjoy... (Just make sure you are not drinking from a cursed mug.) Daniel :-) P.S. Don't miss an episode and subscribe
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    Funky Downtown

  • Differences Between Rich Men And Poor Men

    admin
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:41 pm
    If you think you are poor, find out why! It’s because you yourself want to be a poor man… What are in the mind of poor man vs rich man: 1. Poor man:I can’t make it Rich man: How to do to make it 2. Poor man: It’s impossible to win Rich man: I must […]
  • World’s Toughest Job Director Of Operations

    admin
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Very touch prank video, which is also an ad from a greeting card company. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no break, no holiday, no pay…world’s toughest job ‘Director of Operations’ aka ‘Moms’! American Greetings enlisted the help of Boston-based advertising agency Mullen for its Mother’s Day campaign this […]
  • World’s Most Expensive Easter Egg

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:59 am
    This is the world’s most expensive Easter egg! So if you think you have no idea where and how to spend your money, just consider in buying it; it just costs you few million dollars only…lol. A cross between a Faberge egg and the Damien Hirst skull, the ‘Mirage’ is a unique gem that only […]
  • 8 Pairs of Unusual But Adorable Twins

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:40 am
  • Five-metre Oarfish Found Dead in Mexican Beach

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:32 am
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    Fair City News

  • Persimmon Chopsticks Seed Indicate GODZILLA!

    FairCityNews.com
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    Persimmon seed chopsticks predict monster invasion Springfield, MO – According to weather folklore, the seed of a persimmon can give clues about an upcoming winter’s weather patterns; the fork, knife and spoon shapes are indicators to what winter may hold. However, this fall the seeds have yielded a rare shape, the chopsticks, and speculation is rampant as horticulturists try to find a meaning behind the message. “Chopsticks in a persimmon seed? Never heard of it,” said native Ozarker Eric Timmonsber, “Seems like someone planted their persimmons incorrectly.” Others are less…
  • Man Attempts Leaficide

    FairCityNews.com
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    Man covers self with leaves, hopes for motorist Springfield, MO – Large trees are often considered beautiful especially during the fall when leaves change color in bright bursts of red, orange and yellow, however, one resident became overwhelmed by the falling foliage this weekend and was found in a leaf pile on the street after an attempted leaficdie outside his home. Neighbors said they heard moaning and complaining coming from the man’s backyard all weekend but none expected this type of behavior from a well-rounded, respected home owner. “He was howling and cursing all weekend.
  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:52 am
  • Dead Bodies Cremated via Fireworks Display

    FairCityNews.com
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    Oohs and uhhs for spectators holding their breath Springfield, MO – Starting this Saturday, Greenfawn Memorial Gardens will showcase its first ever fireworks display by strapping dead bodies to large pyrotechnics in order to cremate dead people with a big bang. These heavy-duty fireworks are manufactured to be attached to dead bodies by PM Pyrotechnics.  The inaugural display will be near Greenfawn Memorial Gardens. “We are anxious to see the first of what we hope to be many of these unique fireworks displays. We’re eager to see if all of the pyrotechnics will explode the bodies…
  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
 
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    Noise to Signal

  • Recreational misogyny

    Rob Cottingham
    12 Oct 2014 | 1:28 am
    I’m starting to think we’ve reached a tipping point on the issue of misogyny in video games in particular, and a big chunk of tech culture more generally. To get here, it’s taken a lot of courage from a lot of women. One of the most notable is Anita Sarkeesian, whose video series has done more than anything else I can think of to force a conversation on the issue. It’s also drawn a backlash: some of the ugliest, most vicious responses I’ve ever seen. There’s a lot further to go. If you’d like to support her work, you can make a donation here. Updated:…
  • Ello isn’t Facebook. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

    Rob Cottingham
    25 Sep 2014 | 4:07 pm
    A new social network has launc— WAIT! Don’t run away! For quite a while, Alex and I were constantly hearing from people who wanted us to help them build “the Facebook of x“, where x was some industrial vertical, demographic or affinity group. Nearly all of those folks hadn’t taken into account the fact that, with a large and growing share of the population, Facebook was already the Facebook of x. But now there’s Ello, which has no ambitions to be the Facebook of anything. They don’t want to be Facebook at all: Your social network is owned by advertisers.
  • You mess up, we break your thumb… drive.

    Rob Cottingham
    5 Sep 2014 | 1:53 pm
    Corrupt cops and politicians? Bruno and me, we like ‘em. Corrupt removable media? Naw, that ain’t so good. That’s the sort of thing that makes me and Bruno upset. And when we get upset, we like to hack things. Only Bruno, here, he doesn’t hack with a computer, you get what I’m sayin’? He’s more like what you’d call a social engineer, except he beats the crap outta you. We’re lettin’ you off light, you know: muss up your hair a little, wrinkle that shirt up, give ya something to think about. But lemme tell you: if Kingston Technology…
  • We also considered “Momentary Apps in Judgement”

    Rob Cottingham
    2 Sep 2014 | 5:27 pm
    Google has just announced that “Google Apps for Business” are (is?) being renamed “Google Apps for Work“. And as someone who does a lot of work with the nonprofit and government sectors, I’m giving that branding a thumbs-up. That said, it would make me happy to think that there were at least a few days when “Google Apps for Getting Shit Done” was a real contender. Hey, there’s this thing where you tell jokes instead of drawing them. I believe the kids call it the standing-up comedy. And I’m going to be doing it on Wednesday, October 15th…
  • Next up, my Hour-Long-Break-With-A-Caesar-And-A-Good-Book challenge

    Rob Cottingham
    1 Sep 2014 | 1:24 pm
    Beth Kanter gave me a kind nudge on Facebook to draw something about the Ice Bucket Challenge to support ALS research. Here it is! Now, if you’re looking for something beyond graphic smartassery — like, say, real insight into the success of the challenge and what it means for the non-profit sector — check out Beth’s blog posts on the subject: Is A Downer News Cycle A Factor in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Success? Ice Bucket Challenge: Can Other Nonprofits Reproduce It? Has the Ice Bucket Challenge Spawned Charity Jacking? And watch Alexandra Samuel in this panel on the…
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    Mommy Wants Vodka

  • National Pregnancy, Infant And Child Loss Day: Tables Missing One

    Your Aunt Becky
    15 Oct 2014 | 6:11 am
    Band Back Together is doing a wall of remembrance as well. Please visit if you can. We’re also calling for submissions from our pregnancy, baby, child  loss mama and daddies this month. Any issues logging in email bandbacktogether@gmail.com. When I first started blogging, I found myself fitting in, not with the other mom bloggers, but with the fringe groups. The infertility bloggers, the baby loss bloggers, the special needs bloggers – those were people I could identify with much more so than the people I was supposed to fit in with. Maybe I hadn’t lost a child, maybe I…
  • What Was Decidedly NOT Brownie Batter

    Your Aunt Becky
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:41 am
    Part I Part II Part III After what felt to be 27 years – but was more likely to have been 27 minutes – I decided that one melting down child (read: me) was enough; it was time to return to our humble room to watch some … whatever people watch in hotels that isn’t porn. When I’d skinned the kids of their wet suits, much to their vocal displeasure, I noted that they were covered tip to tail in a rash. Attributing it to over-chlorination, I felt, for the first time, pleased with the hotel. We all know kids whiz in pools with alarming frequency and by the rashes on their bodies, I…
  • Twi Hard

    Your Aunt Becky
    18 Mar 2014 | 9:06 am
    Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I may have also seen every movie opening night.” Me: …sputters… (eye twitches) Lauren: “Haha.” Me: (googles “how to understand Twilight if you haven’t read it,” then thoughtfully erases it from the search box in case someone wandered by and accidentally saw that I’d googled anything about…
  • Things Unsaid Today

    Your Aunt Becky
    13 Mar 2014 | 10:15 am
    “I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care to count. She needs a second total knee replacement now; she told me that your mom does, too. Sucks watching our parents get older, doesn’t it? Fuck, it sucks getting older – period.” “You’ve been on your own Medical Mystery Tour – forgot to tell you: I finally had that MRI. I guess I got tired of people making the…
  • Street Fighting (wo)Man

    Your Aunt Becky
    10 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Part I Part II Because I am not only stupid, but dumb too, I can’t back down from a fight. I tried once, but it broke my arm. So when I started getting the hairy eyeball for daring to sit on an unoccupied chair adorned with an unused beach towel, my fake-rock bruised ass was absofuckinglutly ready for the Thunderdome. Wearily, I hummed Eye of the Tiger and was all “I know EXACTLY what roadkill feels like” as the entire row of vultures, er, people in the chairs in front of me got up, one by one, and began to form a semi-circle around one man who appeared, from my vantage…
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    Iced Borscht » Iced Borscht

  • Creatures of Malformed and Boorish Instincts

    MC
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:26 am
    Via Kevin Slaughter’s Facebook page: Take heed, social-justice aficionados and religious zealots (both): I have noted that the simpletons who squeal over the obscenity of modern literature and the simpletons who rush to the book stores to buy only obscenity are of the same lodge. They are both people whose normal stupidity is shocked by any deviation from the platitude in which their souls are buried. They are both creatures of malformed and boorish instincts which they have sugar-coated with ideals peculiar to all stupid, cowardly and dishonest natures. — Ben Hecht, “Broken…
  • Here Comes Lucifer With His Canon Law

    MC
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:04 pm
    Easily one of my favorite songs from the past couple of years. Fuck, it’s good. LYRICS: Higgs Boson Blues, by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds Flame trees line the streets Can’t remember anything at all But I’m driving my car down to Geneva I been sitting in my basement patio Aye it was hot up above Girls walk past, the roses all in bloom Have you ever heard about the Higgs Boson Blues? I’m going down to Geneva, baby Gonna teach it to you Who cares? Who cares what the future brings? Black road long and I drove and drove And came upon a crossroad The night was hot and…
  • The New Cold War

    MC
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:51 pm
    In a fashion showdown, who wins — Rus Clothing or Moods of Norway? Moods of Norway h/t goes to Nick Gillespie
 
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    12 Most

  • 12 Most Obvious Signs You Are Watching Too Much Toddler Television

    Susan Maccarelli
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Susan Maccarelli   Do you announce bath time using the following song “Let’s take a bath. A lovely bubbly bath,” a la the Disney Channel? Then this 12 Most post is for you! You’ll know it’s time to put away the remote and head for nap time if you relate to these signs that […]
  • 12 Most Irritating Things to Say to a Single Person

    Sophie Fox
    7 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Sophie Fox   It’s official: there are more single people than ever before, 124.6 million single Americans in August 2014. This is more than half of the adult population. The figures are similar here in the UK. In spite of this, there are still a few of you happy couples who have yet to […]
  • 12 Most Timely Questions to Ask When You Have a New Job

    Kelly Belmonte
    6 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Kelly Belmonte   It used to be the case that you had about 90 days to get “up to speed” and begin adding value at a new job. The expectations were relatively low that you would or could be able to competently do your job before that point. Times have changed. The need to […]
  • 12 Most Honest Reasons to Lie When Interviewers Ask Your Current Salary

    Eric Butts
    30 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Eric Butts   What’s the key to a successful salary negotiation? If your answer isn’t “lying,” then you’re doing it wrong. It sounds harsh, but it’s a cold world out there in the business world. One of my mentors made a general comment to me about working for a company you don’t own: “If […]
  • 12 Most Game-Changing Lessons for Entrepreneurs

    Mani Canaday
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Mani Canaday   When I was a brand new entrepreneur, I had the good fortune of receiving a lot of great advice from people with more experience. I also learned a lot through trial and error. In the spirit of sharing and camaraderie, these are the lessons I’ve found to be the most helpful: […]
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
 
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    Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor.

  • Survey Says Ebola Is a Real Thing That Is Just About as Dangerous as Cigarettes

    29 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    The Ebola virus (or E-bola, the electronic virus that infects computers), an epidemic in West Africa, has spread to computers worldwide, leading the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team to declare an emergency. The team is working closely with Intel Security to contain the outbreak. To... [Read Full Story]
  • Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Puts the Nasty in Dynasty

    30 Dec 2013 | 10:54 am
    In this stunning, never-before-seen and recently uncovered video, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has some hobbies that most people will find far outside the mainstream. Drink up, wise quacker, your beard needs lots of nourishment--giving the rest of us a real reason to "fear the beard". [Read Full Story]
  • Rebecca's Black Friday

    25 Nov 2013 | 6:48 pm
    A Special Report by Dubious Monk Mon. Nov. 25, 2013 (Fargo, N.D.) - Black Friday evokes all kinds of things to the average consumer. Deep discounts and doorbuster deals are enticing and have consumers lining up to snag them—which is exactly what retailers want. But most retailers have limited... [Read Full Story]
  • Universal Obamacare on the Mend

    8 Oct 2013 | 11:01 am
    Tue. Oct. 8, 2013 (Krapsody) - Late this afternoon the switch to turn the government back on has been flipped. Dems have acknowledged that in order to satiate and reward repubs, they had to provide some incentive to reach an agreement over the Obamacare stand-off. As part of the deal that has... [Read Full Story]
  • Hangin' with Einstein

    10 Sep 2013 | 8:46 pm
    Who was Albert Einstein? Most people know him as the biggest super genius to ever live in this world — even smarter than Stephen Hawking and Al Roker combined. Albert Einstein (b. 1879 - d. 1955) was a German-American physicist, who won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He was a... [Read Full Story]
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    Comedy Of A CowGHOUL

  • Flattery in a Moment of Panic

    OL Shepp
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am the first to encourage healthier lifestyles, healthier habits at least. Now that I am returning to the health-care profession, I must practice what I preach. Right? My doctor first ordered a mammogram when I was thirty-five, because of the high rate of breast cancer in my family. I did not listen. The women of my family who have had breast cancer all smoked, all drank all used hormone replacements and all had breasts larger than I. I don’t mean to sound ignorant, for I do know that breast size has no correlation to the incidence of…
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Grimace

    Mitesh Asher
    30 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    When Susan walked into the living room in curlers and a much-worn night gown, her husband Ruth could not hide a grimace and commented, "How I wish you could look like how you were when we got married."Susan replied, "Yeah? Tell me how can I? I ain't pregnant!"
  • How fast?

    Mitesh Asher
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Roy lived in the countryside with his family. One morning, he was helping his buffalo give birth, when he noticed that his daughter, Kelly, was watching the entire event with curious eyes.Roy thought to himself that one day he will have to explain to her about the birds and the bees. Why not grab the opportunity and start now, as this was a good occasion. After the process was over, and a little baby buffalo was born, Roy walked up to Kelly and asked, "Well sweetheart, do you have any questions?"Little Kelly, still shaken by the entire experience, asked, "How fast was the calf going when it…
  • Airport embarrassment

    Mitesh Asher
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    This is the story of my friend Joe. Joe was a traveling salesman who would often go out of town on business. One night when Joe returned from a business trip, there was heavy thunder and lightning. He opened the bedroom door and found both his children, Mark and Tina, in bed with his wife. They must have been scared by the sound of thunder and must have wanted the comfort of their mother. Joe went down and slept on the couch that night.The next morning, during breakfast, Joe explained to his kids that it was fine to sleep with their mother if they are scared, but if he was expected to be…
  • Missing husband

    Mitesh Asher
    27 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Gina calls the police to report that her husband, John is missing since 3 days. An officer comes to meet her and asked her to describe her missing husband. Gina tells the investigating officer, "John height is 6' 3", very handsome, has thick hair, and a smile that can light up a room."The officer makes notes and then rings the neighbor's doorbell to investigate. The neighbor, Mrs. Jones tells him that she had noticed nothing unusual. When asked about John's appearance to match what his wife Gina had said, Mrs. Jones said, "She is a liar. John's must not be more than 5' 5". He is bald, has…
  • Bad weather

    Mitesh Asher
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan was up early on Sunday morning, dressed up, packed sandwiches for himself, took the dog by the leash, and tip-toed into the garage. He loaded the boat into his Chevrolet pick-up truck, fired it up and drove into the pouring rain. There was heavy snowfall with sharp gusts of wind. Nathan drove back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that there would be a storm. So he quietly went back to the house, changed into his pyjamas and slipped into the. He ran his hand all over his wife's back and whispered, "The weather's really bad!"She replied in a sleepy voice, "Can you…
 
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    Where's Whitney's Soup? - Blog

  • Make Shift Life

    9 Oct 2014 | 11:43 am
    I’m here!  In California.  Los Angeles.  For at least the next 2 years.  Arrived almost 6 weeks ago, but somehow still sleeping on a make-shift bed. Do not despair!  I am very capable of curling up when the time calls.  Reminder:  I moved to here from Massachusetts for graduate school (library and information science). Classes started this week. So did in-class student introductions. My WordPress class professor asked us to list the internet-capable electronics we use. (This question came after, ‘What are your career goals?’)  When my…
  • Agogo and Gatorade

    25 Jun 2014 | 10:13 am
    On Monday, I started my summer stats class.  Why am I taking a stats class?  My grad program that starts this fall is making me. What do I think about stats now that I’m in it?  Well, all the Indian and Asian students sit in the center row of the amphitheater classroom.  And the white students and the 2 black students sit in the outside rows.  I was sandwiched between 2 boys. One was nice and had neat handwriting. The other was neither, and wouldn’t stop using his teeth - all of his teeth - to play with his pen cap.  Like one of these wooden…
  • Stories

    30 Apr 2014 | 2:26 pm
    A little while before right now, I was stuck in traffic.  (The motor vehicle kind.) But the cause wasn’t from a crash or a fender bender!   That’s a duckie inside the green circle. I instantly went from being traffic-depressed to cute-thing-happy. Days / weeks later, I attended The Fanciest Wedding. After that, I flew to Columbus to celebrate Purim. (I’m the lady-who-wasn't-ready-for-the-photographer-to-take-the-picture in the back, not the princess on the left.) Where I was inspired to order myself new sunglasses. (protective case) Because... Guess…
  • Lucky Me

    12 Feb 2014 | 6:09 pm
    My Valentine's Day present came early this year.  In the form of sweatpants. These sweatpants. I go, "Um.  I don't understand...the sweatpants."He goes, "They're pink." Fuck.  Me.* *Statement not addressed to He.
  • I Go Missing From Time To Time

    6 Feb 2014 | 12:25 pm
    From the Internet.My most recent excuse(s): Before making my new pear friend, I travelled cross-state: Where I attended a Jewish Ball: Past 4 months in a nut shell.
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    i'm bill dixon

  • Photo

    29 Oct 2014 | 11:34 am
  • *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking...

    3 Oct 2014 | 3:50 pm
    *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking floor.*
  • Girl Is Born

    29 Sep 2014 | 10:30 am
    Girl is born Society: Hey girl you should be sexy, dress more sexy girl be sexy sexy girl be sexy sexy girl… 10 years later… Society: Hey hey be sexy sexy girl be sexy…. 6 years later… girl gets ambitious and dresses like sexy cat for Halloween Society: HALLOWEEN IS JUST AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GIRL TO DRESS LIKE SLUTS! You a slut girl, stop being such a slut, slutty girl…
  • Girl With The Third Boob

    23 Sep 2014 | 12:00 am
    Guy 1: I read online that a girl got a third breast implanted. Guy 2: You can’t believe everything you read on—” Guy 1: From Florida. Guy 2: Eww, so why’d she do it?
  • nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY...

    22 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY 9/23 This weeks lineup- Surprise guest we can’t legally announce.(Hint: Standup comedy icon, in Movies)-Baron Vaughn-Dave Ross -Hal Lublin -Peggy Sinnott -Patrick Quinn Hosted by Kate Berlant Join us! https://www.facebook.com/events/355504674618961/ Come on out to this show I invented with my mind. It’ll be a lot of fun.
 
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    Daniel Drummond Harvey

  • In praise of adhesive tape

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:48 am
    I recently wrote to Astrid Lejeune, Secretary General of Afera, the European Adhesive Tape Association. This is what I wrote: Dear Astrid Lejeune, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for the adhesive tape industry in Europe. Some people prefer other adhesive products. Not me! I prefer adhesive tape. If one runs out of adhesive tape when wrapping gifts, “No More Nails® Heavy Duty Instant Grab Construction Adhesive” is an entirely unsuitable alternative. It can cause significant damage to both the wrapping paper and the gift itself. However, while the damage to the…
  • The Homebase Long Reach Watering Can

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to Paul Loft, Managing Director of Homebase: Dear Paul Loft, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for Homebase, the leading home enhancement retailer selling over 38,000 products for the home and garden (I didn’t count them myself! I took this information on trust from your website). One could say that I have one home and two gardens – however, this is not as strange as it sounds; I simply have both a front garden and a back garden. I tend to refer to the front garden as “the front garden” and the back garden as, simply,…
  • A problem with “The Jeremy Kyle Show”

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:05 am
    I recently wrote to Jon Millership, producer of the ITV1 daytime television show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”. This is what I wrote to him: Dear Jon Millership, I am a big fan of the show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, in which guests attempt to resolve personal problems with the aid of the show’s host, Jeremy Kyle. I particularly like the show’s emphasis on traditional family values (as you may know, traditional family values are currently being eroded). Considering how many people he has helped on “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, I am surprised that Jeremy Kyle…
  • A film idea for Jerry Bruckheimer

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    3 Oct 2014 | 9:18 am
    I recently sent the following email to the Hollywood “movie” producer Jerry Bruckheimer: Dear Jerry Bruckheimer, I am a big fan of your films (movies). My favourite film (of your films) is “Top Gun” starring Tom Cruise, which tells the story of a young aviator’s adventures at the Fighter Weapons School in San Diego. I have an excellent idea for a film, which I hope you will be interested in producing. The film is called “The End Of The World Is Nighy”. It tells the story of the English actor Bill Nighy, star of “The Phantom of the Opera: The…
  • The work of Bryan Adams

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to the 1990s pop singer Bryan Adams: Dear Bryan Adams, I am writing to you because I am a huge fan of your work! Generally, I do not like pop music – it is too loud (unless I turn the volume down!) and I rarely understand the words, but your music is different. Of all of your songs, my favourite is “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, which features on the “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” soundtrack album. It was a shame that “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” lost out on the 1991 Academy Award for Best Original…
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    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • New! Fresh! Exciting!

    Lori Culwell
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:26 pm
    So, two new things for today!   For one, I wrote an article encouraging you to get yourself a website so you don't miss your "big moment" when it arrives.  You can find that right here.  If you read that article, you might notice that I mention a course on websites, so I am going to go ahead and make an announcement about that now as well.  You guys!  MY FIRST COURSE HAS LAUNCHED!    I am super excited about it.  It's called "How to Make a Website," and I can honestly say I put a ton of work into it (like, most of this year), and if you have a website or need a website, I think this…
  • What could this possibly mean? #confusing

    Lori Culwell
    1 Oct 2014 | 10:18 am
    via Instagram
  • "Your friendly neighborhood shipping center..."

    Lori Culwell
    27 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    via Instagram
  • My Summer Standing Desk/ Treadmill Desk Experiment!

    Lori Culwell
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:08 am
    Well well well….here I am again!  I’ve been working on a BIG BIG project all summer (announcement to come soon!), and part of the time at least, I’ve been doing it on a treadmill desk that I finally got around to putting together.   Because several people noticed my dramatically increased step-count on Fitbit.com and Twitter (I use the Fitbit pedometer to track my steps) and asked me what was going on and why I was walking 10 + miles per day now, I thought I would just give you a little breakdown of the desk with a photo.  I really love it, and it was not complicated at all to set…
  • Gum...with no pants.

    Lori Culwell
    25 Sep 2014 | 3:00 am
    via Instagram
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    Now That's Nifty

  • 26 Cool and Unique Push Pins

    30 Oct 2014 | 2:49 am
    The push pin was invented in 1900 by Edwin Moore and quickly became a success. These pins are also called "thumb-tacks." I know there is some sort of "prick" joke to be made here, but my mind is... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • The Cube Stormer II

    29 Oct 2014 | 3:26 pm
    This machine puts any geek to shame. "CubeStormer II solves the Rubik's Cube puzzle faster than the human world record. This ARM Powered robot was designed, built and programmed by Mike... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • 41 Dum Dum Flavors

    29 Oct 2014 | 9:11 am
    1924Dum Dums® are a popular American lollipop, invented in 1924. Dum Dums are sphere-shaped lollipops named by I. C. Bahr, a sales manager at the Akron Candy Company in Bellevue, Ohio, in 1924. In... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Art Done Right

    28 Oct 2014 | 12:33 pm
    "Stairway to Kevin," brilliant. Whoever did this, really gets my taste in art. Via EbaumsWorld ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Artist Uses Magnifying Glass & Sun to MakeArt

    26 Oct 2014 | 3:48 am
    Artist Jordan Mang-osan uses wood as his canvas and a magnifying glass coupled with the sun as his medium. That’s right, he uses the sun shining through a magnifying glass to burn landscapes onto... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
 
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    Funny pictures and photos

  • Funny cat picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    26 Oct 2014 | 3:29 pm
    Cats are so lovely animals! ♥ Really often we meet cats on the street, in the park... They look so kind and lovely and you would have liked to take them home... Here is one funny cat pic that will show you such a different and interesting situation of such a cat that I am not sure what likes more- the food or the people in the house! LoL...Here are another cute and funny cats.
  • Funny weight loss picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    26 Sep 2014 | 2:05 pm
    This looks like a good and funny weight loss pic. Looks interesting and true...By the way, here is a good weight loss product that will surely help you lose weight fast and 100% healthy!
  • Funny giraffe picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    6 Sep 2014 | 11:48 am
    Hi. This is a really funny giraffe pic I am not really sure why it is over the tree, but it looks crazy and entertaining :DAlso, check out this funny cat pic.
  • Funny cat picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    11 Jul 2014 | 5:50 am
    Hello everybody. Today I found one really interesting and entertaining cat pic that I am sure you will like. A cat and a mouse together, go check it out below!By the way, here is another cool and funny cat picture that is currently on a diet! Visit http://dogtrainingfoundation.com to find out more regarding labrador retriever health problems.
  • Funny baby picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:27 am
    Lol, this is really good and funny baby photo. This cute baby is going to have a date with a beatiful little girl. Wish him good luck ♥By the way, here are a few good dating tips that might be useful!
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • The Tyranny and Creativity of a Word Count

    Mark A. Rayner
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    On the other hand, a really specific (short) word limit can force one to be more creative and improve the text. I love the Blaise Pascal quote: “This letter is very long because I did not have time to make … Continue reading →
  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
  • Tweeting in two places may break my brain

    Mark A. Rayner
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:48 pm
    And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →
  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
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    MILF: a single Momma's Indiscretions in Life after Forty

  • Wanna Have a Fling?

    21 Oct 2014 | 10:44 am
                               Has it really been over a year and a half since I put my thoughts to the keyboard and made you all laugh? Sorry for the hiatus everyone. But I am back, and I am as ready as ever to prove once again that being a 40something single mom ain’t easy. But! It sure as hell is ridiculously funny.            I was having a conversation (well, let’s be honest, no one actually speaks out loud any more).  I was having an I-bet-my-fingers-…
  • Oh To Be 20 Again....

    20 May 2013 | 11:17 am
    Ok, Laura, here you go….. The comment I chose for this week is “Keep ‘em real or make them look like they are 20 again?”                As I pondered how to answer this very important question, my mind raced in a thousand different directions. As a 40something-ish woman myself, there isn’t much I wouldn’t like to make look 20 again.                First and foremost, THE MEN I DATE. That’s right. I said it. I am single. I would like to go on…
  • Blueberry Coffee, Lost Seconds and Bradley Cooper

    14 May 2013 | 4:12 pm
    Lately, I have made it my morning ritual to drive into work sipping coffee in complete silence. Ok, exactly who do I think I am kidding?  We are talking about downtown Baltimore, ‘hon. The City That Reads for goodness sakes. Well, except when it comes to traffic signs, you know: lane closed ahead, short merge area, yield at next light. Nope, our local commute means a plethora of bad drivers, the constant sound of horns honking, and even the occasional “How much?” uttered not so quietly out the window to a young lady donning a purple bra, black leggings and mile high stilettos on…
  • Deep Thoughts on Seňor Testiculo

    10 May 2013 | 7:28 am
    Ahhh, finally, I have overcome my year-long mid-life crisis/ mental breakdown and have arisen from the darkness (aka, the straight jacket holding me back from writing) to once again provide you with the humor you need to make your life look normal.Thanks to all who may be reading and for hanging in there during my one year lapse in storytelling.  Now that my twisted sense of reality and sarcasm seems to be back in full swing (Lord, help us), I plan on making fun of my single momhood once again. It is my hope to make you smile or laugh out loud or pee yourself, any and all of those will…
  • Pennies from Heaven

    17 Jun 2012 | 6:41 am
                    This morning, as usual, I had to make a pit stop at my local 7-11 for an extra large Hazelnut coffee because I ran out yesterday and had totally forgotten. I rushed my 5 year old to get up, out of the bed and dressed as quickly as possible. This Momma cannot function without her morning intake of caffeine with enough flavored creamer and sugar to cause a tooth ache. My baby girl knows the routine. She stays away from my scowl and listens intently to me until she has seen me take my first soothing gulp.
 
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    Chandra Clarke

  • Many Are Called, But…

    Chandra Clarke
    26 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    Chandra Clarke If you live in a city, you probably think that cell phones are ubiquitous. You see people using them in the grocery store, or while driving their car and even while in the bathroom. As hard as it may be to believe, there are still plenty of places in the world where cell phone coverage […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Dear Facebook, please ban motivational quote pictures

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Chandra Clarke Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some positive thinking and encouraging words. But if I see one more post that quotes the Dalai Lama, Albert Einstein, or Sophocles, I may barf. You see, before digitization made it uber easy to share inspirational words, we only got occasional doses of motivation by picking up a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Wake Up And Smell The Tiger

    Chandra Clarke
    27 Sep 2014 | 8:44 am
    Chandra Clarke On those days when you’re fed up with your job, it’s always wise to remember that it probably doesn’t rank as one of the worst in the world. Consider the folks who are currently developing a pest repellent based on… tiger dung. Indeed, rank is probably the key word here. Leave aside for the moment […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • You’ve Been Warned

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Sep 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Chandra Clarke We live in the age of the legal arms race. On one side, lawyers like to launch lawsuits against companies whom they say have failed to provide adequate warnings or instructions for their products. For the most part, this is a valuable service, and the legitimate lawsuits keep companies (or individuals) accountable. Of course there […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • (Not) In The Pink

    Chandra Clarke
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:13 am
    Chandra Clarke In general, I am not an Angelina Jolie fan. I see her face far too often in the tabloids at the grocery store checkout, and usually the news about her has been, well, weird. One Jolie headline, however, raised my estimation of her a notch. Supposedly, she offended her in-laws by refusing to dress a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
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    Sweet Mother

  • Facebook Deletes Drag Queen Profiles

    Anonymous Good Person
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:28 am
    It’s launch week of my new blog.  To celebrate, there will be posts Mon, Wed, Fri of this week and then 1x per week after that.   Today’s post is about Facebook deleting drag queen profiles due to a little known detail in their terms of service and because of the odd crusade of one, hateful user.  Check it out at the link below.  Hopefully, it’s a pretty interesting read.  If you like what you see, give the new blog a follow.   Thanks for reading!   New Post: My So Called Digital Life Blog  
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    Stuff You Couldn't Make Up

  • Differences in Police Cars Around the World

    SYCMU
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:58 am
      Finland wins this one hands down! The post Differences in Police Cars Around the World appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Invisibility Cloaks for Sale

    SYCMU
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:08 am
    Invisibility Cloaks for Sale and 50% off too. Don’t miss this exciting opportunity. Meanwhile, check out our tumblr and pinterest profiles as well! The post Invisibility Cloaks for Sale appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Socks Buddy System Cartoon

    SYCMU
    18 Oct 2014 | 9:01 am
    Socks Buddy System Cartoon Ever lost  sock in the washing machine? Well, don’t you wish this cartoon was true? The folks at Spudcomics clearly haven’t lost many socks, because they think this is what happens when socks go on a field trip … Continue reading → The post Socks Buddy System Cartoon appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:10 pm
    When you go to a friend’s house for the first time, as opposed to when you’ve been there before.   The post When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:03 pm
    What’s the difference between piano tuna and pot of glue? -you can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna -what about the glue? -I knew you’d get stuck there. The post Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
 
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    Love and Knuckles

  • Interview With Rachel From The People’s Couch – The Love Professor

    Kate
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:37 am
    Have you seen The People’s Couch on Bravo?  It’s the show that captures reactions of real people watching popular shows and news from the past week. Rachel Resnick Friend, her two sisters and dad are part of the cast. Rachel on People’s Couch           Rachel is a university Speech and Interpersonal Communication professor, relationship coach, and the founder of The Love Professor, which helps single online daters write their online profiles. As you may already know, I met my husband on match.com eleven years ago. This was way before online dating…
  • Behind The Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin Split: Attentive Disengagement

    Kate
    27 Oct 2014 | 8:23 pm
    Dear Chris, If I were a pop star I would put this into a song that could later be performed on The Voice. Maybe Taylor Swift or Lil Twist would be a mentor to the contestant and they could perform this song with the feelings I will probably not be able to convey in this letter? I think you are great. The last few months have been great, but I’m busy and you are busy. I am a working actress who needs to be on movie sets for months at a time. These roles take over me. The entire time I was filming Silver Linings Playbook I was pretending to be a 1970s version of a Real Housewife of New…
  • The Love of A Dog Named Champ

    Kate
    25 Oct 2014 | 1:14 pm
    My sister’s dog Champ was hit by a car on Wednesday. He’s 15 years old, suffers from hearing loss, and has cataracts in his eyes, but his accident has shaken my sister and her family to the core. It would be easy to say Champ is just a Jack Russell Terrier, but it would negate the enormous role he’s played in her life. Megan decided she wanted a terrier after a trip in college to Ireland. She named him Champ because it was a strong name fit for a fighter. Healer The first time she had to leave him alone as a puppy was a Saturday in July. It was the day after John F. Kennedy…
  • Why Women Wish Celebrities Were Honest About Their Plastic Surgery

    Kate
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:27 pm
    Renee Zellweger became the center of worldwide attention this week after she attended the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards in Beverly Hills on Monday with what appeared to be a facial transformation. When asked about her obvious transmogrification she responded that she looks different because she is healthier and happier than ever. “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.” Hang on. Inner joy can cause that kind of metamorphosis? Then why is it that every time I have…
  • Dear Ladies: You Don’t Have to Wear a Sexy Halloween Costume

    Kate
    22 Oct 2014 | 10:19 pm
    Ladies, How about we switch things up this year? What if you wear an un-sexy Halloween costume? Hang on. Hear me out. I understand your concerns. What if you happened to meet the guy you could potentially see yourself marrying one day at a Halloween party? How are you going to keep him interested if he can’t see your entire body? Would a man be interested in a girl dressed up like a taco instead of a naughty pirate? But Kate, all my friends are going as trampy nurses. Who will want to talk to me if I am dressed in something that doesn’t require a garter belt or leather knee high…
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    The Idle Lord

  • I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”

    Steve
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:44 am
    Here is a follow-on to last week’s post about the dire state of grassroots football. Taken from my award winning third book – my mum liked it – this is why my footballing career never rose out of the Sunday morning dog shit. I’M FRANZ BECKENBAUER! “Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble […] Continue reading ... I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”.
  • More Sporting Legacy Bollocks

    Steve
    17 Oct 2014 | 6:57 am
    Way back in 2002 the Labour Government initiated the process of what would ultimately result in the staging of the London Olympics in 2012. Undeterred by the likely costs of this – which they grossly underestimated – the politicians pushed ahead soothing the public with promises – which they grossly overestimated – of a grand […] Continue reading ... More Sporting Legacy Bollocks.
  • Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:16 am
    This week I wandered down to the abyss – Bradford city centre – for the first time in a few years. I packed my United Nations phrase book, stuck the sign on my back saying “crap phone, no need to mug” and set off to Cllr Ear Ring’s Utopia. And would you believe it? Rising […] Continue reading ... Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon.
  • Nasdrovia!

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 3:06 am
    We Brits love a good wedding. It’s a chance for otherwise sane and respectable people to act like lunatics for a day and your aunt to convince herself that she really could make the Strictly finals with a bit more disco in her. My cousin Shaun (“Cus”) was getting married again – God loves a […] Continue reading ... Nasdrovia!.
  • Gone Fishing!

    Steve
    3 Oct 2014 | 1:39 am
    I’ve been away this week but did not want to let down those of you who actually look forward to my weekly offering; so I’ve done a Phil & Kirsty and “revisited” an old piece. At my age old pieces are the only things left to revisit. Almost two years ago I wrote The Dating […] Continue reading ... Gone Fishing!.
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    Barb Best

  • Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ!

    Barb Best
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:53 pm
      WHAT? A HEALTH QUIZ? HMMM…. WHICH IS IT? A REASON TO LIVE or A MIGRAINE TRIGGER?   1. Sleeping in late any chance you get   2. Mind-blowing rock concert at 115 decibels with laser light show   3. Family-size bag of dark chocolate drenched espresso beans   4. Cyclical estrogen dip followed by […] The post Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Mindfulness, Meditation and Me

    Barb Best
    21 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
        MINDFUL AWARENESS can be defined as paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. It is an excellent antidote to the stresses of modern times. It invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one’s inner experience. - Diana Winston, Director for Mindfulness […] The post Mindfulness, Meditation and Me appeared first on Barb Best.
  • How To Skunk Writer’s Block

    Barb Best
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:04 am
      Are you having trouble writing? You are not alone. Whether it’s a thousand page trilogy or merely a text to your cousin you can’t finish, you need support. I suggest you join Writers’ Anonymous – WA. For full-time professionals, it’s WA WA. You will learn the necessary tools and steps to lick writer’s block […] The post How To Skunk Writer’s Block appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See

    Barb Best
    7 Oct 2014 | 10:50 am
      Do celebrities annoy you? The narcissists who never cease to amaze us with their sheer lack of restraint? Thanks to an avalanche of 24-7 celebrity “news” we are bombarded with celebrity drama queens’ constant cry for attention. They appear. They promote. They publicize. They SELL, SELL, SELL! 7 CELEBRITY PRODUCTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE […] The post 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape

    Barb Best
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:37 am
    Are you physically fit & healthy?               Are you in good shape? Do you feel strong? Take the quiz… 7 Clues… You’re NOT So Physically Fit Texting tires you. Your blood type is no longer B+   It’s D- Sleeping enervates you. You use caffeine as a defibrillator. You consider […] The post Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape appeared first on Barb Best.
 
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Top Five Matthew McConaughey Halloween Costume Ideas & Jim Carrey SNL Spoof

    Amy Vansant
    27 Oct 2014 | 1:57 am
    Body paint yourself totally black. You are nothingness. One last midnight. If possible, bring a friend so you can walk hand and hand into extinction, brother and sister opting out of a raw deal. Paint only your left side black. Now  you are All Right, All Right, All Right. A giant bong. Put a giant disc around your center. You are time, and time is a flat circle. Walk into the party repeatedly, because everything you’ve ever done or will do, you’re gonna do over and over and over again. Don’t ever work out. Arrive at the party with a perfect physique.   Jim…
  • Note to a Cranky Muse

    Amy Vansant
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:12 pm
    My husband, Mike, is proud of me. He tells me this whenever I achieve a little victory. But I make my living as a web developer and not as a writer, and sometimes he’s confused by the tremendous amount of time and money I throw into my writing “career.” (His air quotes.) It isn’t that he’s condescending, like “Look at the little lady trying to be a writer!” type stuff. He knows comments like those end with his body cold and lifeless in our freezer. It’s more that he’s a glass half-empty sort of person, and can’t imagine that…
  • Dorking out for Little People

    Amy Vansant
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    My husband, Mike, and I recently vacationed in Dewey Beach, Delaware, because we’re cheap and the summer season was over. The big winner was our dog, Gordon, who maniacally chased a half-filled water bottle on the beach until we physically removed him for his own safety. We arrived at our beach cabin in the early afternoon and commenced cocktailing. Two hours later, we were too buzzed to drive and decided to order-in pizza, since the only sustenance I’d brought was either booze, or booze accouterments, like lemons and limes. I can get pretty narrow minded on vacations. Mike…
  • Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Paranormal Book Tour- Win Books & Gifts

    Amy Vansant
    8 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    My novel Angeli: The Pirate, the Angel & the Irishman is on a tour sponsored by Book Partners in Crimes Promotions  & eNovelAuthorsatWork this week with three other fantasy writers – I’ve combined all of them into one giant post here that includes a chance to win a copy of each book plus a gift card! Click the banner to see a list of all the tour stops! Meet the eBook Your Escape Authors   Dale Furse Dale has enjoyed many creative pursuits including playing guitar and singing in a band, acting and directing in theatre, writing novels, short stories, plays, songs and…
  • Interview with John Lehr – Watch Season 2 Quickdraw on Hulu

    Amy Vansant
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:56 am
    I stumbled on the hilarious series Quickdraw on Hulu last year and binged watched Season One. When it was over, I emailed Quickdraw star/creator John Lehr and ask him for an interview, to which, with a tip of his hat, he kindly obliged.  I held the interview until Season Two was available, and now it is! So… A. Read my interview with the very funny John Lehr below and then B. Go watch Quickdraw on Hulu! Your hilarious series on Hulu, Quickdraw, is now on its second season. How happy are you? We are thrilled. Our hope is to have a run as long as Gunsmoke which I think was 20 years or…
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    The Good Badger

  • How Morning Chili Could Be Ruining Your Life

    the Good Badger
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    (This post is an adapted version of one I recently posted to Appalachian Trials.  If you prefer the PG version I encourage you to head there.  If not, you’ve come to the right fucking place.) Yesterday, I woke up to a crockpot full of steamy-hot, delicious grass-fed beef and bison chili.  The night before, I dedicated an hour to chopping and dicing onions, garlic, peppers, and jalapenos- then browning these veggies plus meat, mixing it with my soaked and sprouted black beans, tomatoes, and homemade bone broth.  I then set this factory of olfactory orgasmic matter to cook for…
  • Q&A: How Do I Get Over Writer’s Block?

    the Good Badger
    13 Oct 2014 | 3:24 pm
    We’re introducing a new series to the Good Badger called: “Q&A”, which is short for question and answer.  After a thorough investigation (conducted by me), the conclusion has been reached that I am the unquestioned coiner of this phrase.  You know this claim is valid because you’re reading it on the Internet.   If you have a question you’d like answered, send it here. Today’s question comes from Zach D in Denver, CO who writes the following: Hi the Good Badger, I know you’re probably busy saving baby animals from being abducted by evil…
  • 3 Reasons Why I Love Backpacking (And You Should Too)

    the Good Badger
    29 Jul 2014 | 9:03 am
    Warning: the following post uses the f-word (fuck, not filibuster) 15 times.  If you’re looking for some wholesome reading, you’re fuck out of luck.  Make that 16. Most people in this country don’t backpack, and quite frankly, that’s a good thing.  Backpacking is rewarding in large part because of this fact- it’s where you go to get away from the masses.  Add to this some beautiful scenery and a dash of exercise, and you’ve listed all the reasons why someone might enjoy this combination sport / hobby / lifestyle.  Right? Wrong. The reasons to love…
  • Redefining Pain

    the Good Badger
    30 Jun 2014 | 11:34 am
    A hundred billion neurons.  Ten trillion cells.  One hundred trillion bacteria.  All of this influenced by an immeasurable number of environmental and biological factors. Human beings are complex creatures, aren’t they? If you look through a microscope, perhaps.  If you take a step back, however, human behavior can be summarized in one sentence. We move toward pleasure and away from pain.  In most situations, pain plays a greater role in our motivation.  Burning your hand on a hot coal, walking across broken glass, or getting punched in the face with a baseball bat are all painful…
  • How to Vacation to Europe on the Cheap

    the Good Badger
    26 Jun 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A Western-European vacation is bacon for the soul. Few places on earth provide such a magical combination of history, beauty (in landscapes, architecture, people, and accents), FOOD, and culture without sacrificing any of the first-world luxuries that Americans tend to get itchy without.  The lone downside also happens to be a devastating one: the tornado-like effect it has on bank accounts.  The cost of airfare and lodging alone is the equivalent of 2,000 pounds of avocado, a shark boat, or this ocean garbage super important key.  Think of the possibilities. Many, reasonably albeit…
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    lolriot.com

  • The Worst Tattoo Fails Ever (36 Photos)

    max4u
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:06 am
    The post The Worst Tattoo Fails Ever (36 Photos) appeared first on .
  • 32 Perfectly Timed Photos

    max4u
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:56 am
    The post 32 Perfectly Timed Photos appeared first on .
  • Some People Are Forever Alone (20 Photos)

    max4u
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:40 am
    The post Some People Are Forever Alone (20 Photos) appeared first on .
  • 30 Strange Items That Really Exist

    max4u
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:09 am
    Via: Cnet Via: DumpADay Via: Twitter Via: PatentPending Via: Reddit Via: Reddit Via: Mmm Via: LegalAssassin Via: Imgur Via: FoodBeast Via: TheChive Via: TheBerry Via: TheMetaPicture Via: Reddit Via: Flickr Via: TheMetaPicture Via: Imgur Via: TheBerry Via: Reddit Via: AmyLynn98 Via: TheBerry Via: Reddit Via: Flickr Via: Tumblr Via: DumpADay Via: Tumblr Via: BuzzFeed Via: Imgur Via: Shinrei Via: ImgurThe post 30 Strange Items That Really Exist appeared first on .
  • Unusual Insects and Animals With Crazy Colors (38 Photos)

    max4u
    28 Oct 2014 | 4:59 am
    The post Unusual Insects and Animals With Crazy Colors (38 Photos) appeared first on .
 
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Lady Gaga Buys Malibu Estate With Bowling Alley

    Johnny Robish
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:34 pm
    Lady Gaga Buys Malibu Estate With Bowling Alley:  The LA Times is reporting that Lady Gaga has bought a $23 million Malibu estate that includes a 2-lane Brunswick bowling alley.  Ironically, all she told the relator was to find her a property that’s so quiet, you can hear a pin drop.   As Many Americans Believe in Bigfoot as the Big Bang:  A new study has found that Americans are just as likely to believe in “Bigfoot” as in the “big bang theory.”  Educators say that while the study may be depressing, it can’t be considered bigamy.  So I guess its “no big deal” if…
  • Fireball Whiskey Recalled Over a Sweetener Used in Antifreeze

    Johnny Robish
    28 Oct 2014 | 8:08 pm
    Fireball Whiskey Recalled Over a Sweetener Used in Antifreeze:  Bottles of Fireball whiskey, the insanely-popular, cinnamon-flavored, frat-house favorite, are being recalled in some European countries—because it’s got too much of chemical used in antifreeze inside.  Regulators say they became suspicious as soon as it began being served on tap directly from car radiators.   Giant Sunspot Keeps Firing Off Huge Solar Flares:  Astronomers say powerful solar flares have been emanating from the largest sunspot observed in more than 20 years.  In related news, dermatologists in Beverly…
  • Vasectomies on the Rise During Great Recession

    Johnny Robish
    27 Oct 2014 | 9:05 pm
    Vasectomies on the Rise During Great Recession:  A new poll finds that men are now 35% more likely to get a vasectomy now than before the great recession.  Well, when the economy’s going down the tubes, you’ve gotta make cuts somewhere.   Elon Musk Warns of the Dangers of Artificial Intelligence:  Tesla chief executive Elon Musk is warning about artificial intelligence, calling it more dangerous than nuclear weapons, like we are summoning the demon.  Perhaps, but my computer’s auto-correct scares me a hell of a lot more than any artificial intelligence ever could.   Brain…
  • Evil Clown Terror Spreading in France

    Johnny Robish
    26 Oct 2014 | 8:30 pm
    Evil Clown Terror Spreading in France:  A wave of panic sparked by evil clowns stalking French towns has spread to the south of France where police arrested 14 people dressed as clowns who were carrying pistols, knives and baseball bats.  What a bunch of Bozos.  Makes you wonder what could be next, marauding mimes?   Three Officers Accused of Stealing Nude Pics:  Three California Highway Police Officers have confessed to investigators of stealing nude and racy photos from the cellphones of women arrested on drunk driving charges and sending them to other fellow officers as a kind of…
  • Hawaii Officials Warn of Possible Lava Evacuation

    Johnny Robish
    25 Oct 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Hawaii Officials Warn of Possible Lava Evacuation:  Authorities on the Big Island of Hawaii have told several dozen residents near an active lava flow to prepare for a possible evacuation as molten rock about 160 to 230 feet wide and moving northeast at about 10 yards per hour edges closer to homes.  To provide residents with an example of just how fast this lava is moving, officials say 10 yards an hour is significantly faster than the Oakland Raiders have moved all season.   Man Arrested for Toppling Ten Commandments Monument in Oklahoma:  A man who claimed the devil told him to use…
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    The Laugh Button

  • Katie McVay’s advice web-series “Yell You Better” returns

    Olivia Cathcart
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Chicago comedian Katie McVay’s advice web-series Yell You Better is back with a fiery passion. It’s a show where McVay yells at you about your whole life until you’re better at it, because you have problems politeness can’t solve. Yell You Better debuted on Youtube in 2012 with the last of season one’s nine episodes […] Katie McVay’s advice web-series “Yell You Better” returns appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Fox buys supernatural comedy from ’30 Rock’ writer Colleen McGuinness

    Olivia Cathcart
    29 Oct 2014 | 10:08 am
    Former 30 Rock writer/producer Colleen McGuinness has sold her second pilot this year. According to Deadline, McGuinness has sold a single-camera comedy to Fox and is getting some very big names to help her with it. A-Listers Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have signed on as producers alongside McGuinness and Jennifer Todd. The untitled show […] Fox buys supernatural comedy from ’30 Rock’ writer Colleen McGuinness appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Amy Poehler does not remember meeting Seth Meyers

    Olivia Cathcart
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:19 am
    Amy Poehler reunited with her old Weekend Update desk mate last night on Late Night with Seth Meyers. The pair spent many years together working side by side at SNL, but the two actually met a few times years before… not that Poehler has any recollection. Seth Meyers also talks to Poehler about her new […] Amy Poehler does not remember meeting Seth Meyers appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Let’s watch Chris Rock’s SNL promos

    Olivia Cathcart
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:04 am
    The great Chris Rock will make his return to Studio 8H to host this week’s Saturday Night Live. This will be Rock’s first trip back to SNL since his stint as a cast member in 1996. Rock and cast member Bobby Moynihan took to the streets of New York to shoot some promos and talk […] Let’s watch Chris Rock’s SNL promos appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Cristela Alonzo’s debut album ‘Some of the Hits’ to be released on November 4th

    Olivia Cathcart
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:11 pm
    Comedy Central Records is rolling out two big releases next week. In addition to Nick Vatterott’s album, Cristela Alonzo is drop her debut album Some of the Hits on Tuesday, November 4th. Alonzo is having herself one hell of a year. The comedian was named one of Variety’s “10 Comics to Watch,” and created and […] Cristela Alonzo’s debut album ‘Some of the Hits’ to be released on November 4th appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Carly Bird

  • How I Met Eric Chevalier.

    Carly Walker
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:20 am
    I can’t think of any other reason besides God that I would have ever met Eric Chevalier. Bold, sappy statement, but I honestly believe it. And I can’t think of any other explanation than God’s love works through human beings, to explain why three years ago a red-head named Greg would respond to an accidental LinkedIn request with the snarky subject line: ‘connect with no message?’ Or why he would spend his holiday season interrogating me about my social profiles and asking if I would like to get a cup of coffee to talk about working at BLITZ, an agency that was out of my league and…
  • The Perks of Being a Couch Flower: DoorDash Food Delivery

    Carly Walker
    8 Aug 2014 | 9:28 am
    Lately apps that make an average human sitting on a couch feel like they are living in luxury have been all the rage. With the click of a button you can have your groceries, an Uber, or a random man who has agreed to do your laundry at your door. And for people who live in a jam packed city like me, these new apps focused on instant gratification can be invaluable. It’s almost like we are living in an alternate universe where The Little Red Hen does all the work, drives through LA traffic, deals with the parallel parking and STILL lets you eat all the cornbread at the end of the day.
  • The Best Food in Los Angeles

    Carly Walker
    17 Jul 2014 | 12:48 pm
    My office is really into food. We talk about where we are going to eat lunch starting at 10:00 am. Sometimes while we are still eating breakfast. We do laps around upcoming restaurants under construction in Santa Monica and make predictions of the food before the menu has even been made public. My coworker Ellen was recently highlighted on the Tender Greens blog as their official duchess after she checked in to their Santa Monica location over 100 times. Yes, 100. Multiply that number by a work team of 30 and you will see why TG gives us free cookies and drinks on the house. Here are…
  • Westside Wisdom: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express

    Carly Walker
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:47 am
    I have become one of THEM. One of those bloggers who sold out and writes about products and life hacks. If you think I’ve become trivial, this video from last year is proof that Carly Bird has been this way all along. That said, there are many services, products, and hacks that can make a big difference in your life. This is one of them. Please welcome: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express. Amazon Fresh Amazon Fresh is a grocery delivery service revolutionizing the way white collar first adopters fill their kale holes. The service delivers food right to your door and also gives you…
  • Because Today You Don’t Feel Mormon

    Carly Walker
    1 May 2014 | 11:58 am
    My friend looked at me from across a table with honest, vulnerable eyes as he slowly put together a string of words to tell me that he felt he could no longer be Mormon. “You’re the first friend I have told.” He nervously stammered as he waited in anticipation for my reply. The next few seconds were a blur as I thought about my good friend and others like him. There is so much I wanted to say that I couldn’t express at the moment. So I ran home and wrote this letter to all of the people I love so much who at some point or another have confessed something similar and with heavy hearts…
 
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    The Peanut Butter Table

  • This is How Our Daughter Learned Math in First Grade Under Common Core

    Eva
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:36 am
    The following are examples of how our daughter learned 1st grade mathematical concepts: 3, 5, 8 2, 2, 4 5, 7, 12 9, 3, 12 6, 3, 9 4, 5, 9 8, 4, 12 2, 1, 3 6, 4, 10 5, 6, 11 And so on… The students in the Bug’s 1st grade class were […]
  • Our NWEA/MAP Opt-Out Letter

    Eva
    3 Oct 2014 | 6:44 pm
    The NWEA/MAP: “Measures of Academic Progress® (MAP®) creates a personalized assessment experience by adapting to each student’s learning level. You’ll have assessment data—and essential information about what each student knows and is ready to learn within 24 hours.” Uh-huh… This is our letter we sent to our 2nd grader’s principal to opt her out of […]
  • And So It Begins…

    Eva
    25 Sep 2014 | 8:34 pm
    Oh, great… what’s she on about now? Plenty, actually, thanks for asking. Hello, everybody!  Time to come clean. I wasn’t dirty before or anything but, you know. Some time ago, I made the decision to create a blog.  I had a blog before but that blog sucked so I created a new blog full of […]
  • Happy Birthday Little Dinosaur

    Eva
    27 Aug 2014 | 10:15 am
    Originally posted on Stories that Must Not Die:We are patiently waiting for you to come out of your cave. While we wait we’ve decided to celebrate your birthday with some Stories about you that will live on forever. One day, a dinosaur appeared in my fishbowl. She was wildly drawn and breathing fire, but…
  • The Bill and Melinda Gates Birth Control Interview

    Eva
    9 Aug 2014 | 8:21 am
    Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:In the early spring of 2014, I had the privilege of meeting the most charitable, creative and technologically brilliant couple on the planet: Bill and Melinda Gates. I knew what I was ready for; a dynamic pair of thinkers that were tinkering with something incredibly big and extraordinary…
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • If I Lost My Breast, I Would Count Myself Lucky

    Tammy
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:49 am
    Three weeks ago, when the threat of breast cancer entered my life, I decided to hang up my blogging hat for a breather. Frankly, I felt everything but witty. The words, large mass on left breast, left me paralyzed with fear. Me, the woman who shrinks from nothing. I panicked. Years ago when this happened, […]
  • If My Dog Could Talk …

    Tammy
    1 Oct 2014 | 8:02 am
    I’d be mortified. Or in jail. She would gladly share my dress size, the fact that I have chin hairs, that I’m an easy drunk (one glass of wine and I’m ready for a nap), how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news, that I eat in bed, my opinion on […]
  • Can a sassy woman blogger shame the NFL even if she doesn’t know a thing about football?

    Tammy
    10 Sep 2014 | 8:51 am
    Just watch me. Hey NFL, if I were your mother, I would take you out of the game. No time outs, no suspensions. I would throw your disrespectful ass out on the dirty street where it belongs. Your behavior is reprehensible, disgusting, and shows absolutely no regard for your players or their families. It is […]
  • I Want To Be A Gross, Stereotypical Objectification. Don’t You?

    Tammy
    27 Aug 2014 | 9:40 am
    It’s not often I profess to know more than Newsweek or the Chicago Tribune. But I sure as hell do today. A lot is being said about Sofia Vergara’s rotating pedestal act at the Emmys. Most of it bad. Very bad. Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune are just a small slice of the pie. Social […]
  • Heaven Didn’t Wait

    Tammy
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:29 pm
    I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself. I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Come In / Go Away Doormat

    Daniel Repasky
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:26 am
    I actually like this doormat, if it wasn’t so expensive. It’s called an ambigram if you’re wondering. Most Helpful Customer Reviews 78 of 78 people found the following review helpful By Garred A. Oldham on March 10, 2010 Verified Purchase i turned it backwards when my family was coming over. but no one did what i said. damn thing is defective Comment Come In / Go Away Doormat is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass

    Daniel Repasky
    23 Sep 2014 | 5:51 pm
    This is would be a pretty funny glass to drink straight liquor out of. Link LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Thirteen!

    Daniel Repasky
    10 Sep 2014 | 5:42 am
    Gif Sound Mashup 13, with turtles, babies, cats, a bear, dinosaurs, and a martian rover! It took some extra time to render the beginning circles lol http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup 13! ►GifSounds used: COMING SOON Make your own! – http://GifSound.com no account required This video is covered under Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107 – Fair Use: All visuals and sound are no more than a few seconds in length, parody the original works, are highly transformative, and are not in any way a substitute for the original. All…
  • Lego Death Star, comes complete with exhaust port weakness

    Daniel Repasky
    14 Aug 2014 | 3:07 pm
    Looks pretty cool, but I’m not sure what kind of person buys a $500 LEGO set… for their kids… 20 of 21 people found the following review helpful  Missing cover for the exhaust port, 10 Aug 2014 By Golidog Theres a cover missing on the exhaust pipe. It’s probably not important but maybe this could be fixed for the next model. Thanks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink 43 of 52 people found the following review helpful  Flimsy design, March 20, 2014 By Brian Atwood “bratwood” I’m not…
  • A Yodelling Pickle

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Aug 2014 | 6:10 pm
    So well crafted. I’m sure the reviews will reinforce how what a wonderful pickle this is. 1,633 of 1,653 people found the following review helpful  Better Than Bieber, January 15, 2012 By Sadie My twelve year-old niece asked for the Justin Bieber CD for Christmas, so I bought her this yodeling pickle. Nobody so far can tell the difference. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink   1,603 of 1,651 people found the following review helpful  It’s a great portable music solution, April 2, 2010 By Timboliah…
 
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • Thwart Ebola with Designer Hazmat Suits

    Greg Mischio
    27 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Congrats, Ebola. You’ve effectively scared the s— out of everyone. In defense of the world, I decided to thwart Ebola’s viral hinder, but not by combating its root cause. I got reactive instead of proactive and launched my new designer Hazmat suits. Humankind is not built to be proactive. We’ve heard all the kvetching about how the World Health Organization and the governments of West Africa should have been more responsive to the Ebola outbreak, but that’s just bunk. That’s like saying the world should be more proactive about eliminating poverty and improving education, so…
  • How God Can Make a Ton of Cash

    Greg Mischio
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-all. But even He would be the first to tell you, you can just never have enough cash. With my latest Epiphany, I’ve got a foolproof way the creator can increase profits and put even more dough in his omniscient pocket. It’s funny, but even after I wrote that first paragraph, people were already lining up on my front lawn to protest my blasphemy. Look, I’m sorry. I mean no offense toward you and whatever God you may worship. But He would be pissed if I didn’t share with him my money-making scheme for supreme beings. It’s based on of the…
  • Test-Taker, the Hot New Occupation

    Greg Mischio
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Much ado has been made about testing in our public schools. I applaud testing myopia, which is why I capitalized on the trend. Introducing an entire company built around the world’s newest occupation: Test-taker. You can argue about the merits and demerits of testing, but that’s not how I roll. I don’t take sides. I just figure out what people want, and then charge a lot of money for it. In this case, the majority want to create the world’s best test-takers. They insist we beat every other country’s test scores, even though the minority (or minorities) might argue we should focus on…
  • Have Your Friends Raise Your Kids

    Greg Mischio
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    My kids are nice to me and the missus — most of the time. But they’re never as charming and pleasant to us as they are to our friends. This phenomenon was in desperate need of epiphanizing, and I was just the guy to do it. Have you ever noticed that the manner in which your child addresses you pales in comparison to the Eddie Haskell veneer they assume with other adults? Teens suddenly turn on the charm in the presence of other village elders. So where’s the love on the homestead? I don’t have an answer, and honestly, I really don’t care. As a loyal reader, you know by now that…
  • Passive-Aggressive Plants Must Be Stopped!

    Greg Mischio
    22 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    It’s time to call the plant world on the carpet. These passive-aggressive rooted things are messing with my head, not to mention my lawn. The reverse-psychology of my amazing new epiphany put them in their place. Exquisite lawn care is required in my neck of the woods. As a diligent denizen of the burbs, I am compelled by neighborhood covenants to maintain Pebble Beach standards. This requires mowing, fertilizing, aerating, and on occasion, a rain dance. Most importantly, it demands a war on weeds. Weeds. Nature’s nostril hairs. Those bastards will grow anywhere and everywhere. Unless you…
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    cestlavie22

  • If I had a Youtube Channel…

    cestlavie22
    27 Oct 2014 | 7:37 am
    One of my favorite shows to watch this season is Dancing with the Stars. I will admit that this is my first season watching it. As a dancer of 10 years when I was younger, I feel a bit ashamed to admit this. Fact is, the show is pretty awesome. I decided to give the show a shot because Janel Parrish, an actress from Pretty Little Liars (a show I love) was dancing on this season. So I figured why not? And now I’m hooked! There is another star on this show that caught my attention. However she caught my attention because I had no clue who she was. Bethany Mota rose to fame through…
  • Cajun Turkey Sandwich!

    cestlavie22
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:35 am
    I will admit to my fellow bloggers that I am not much of a sandwich person. Problem is I get bored very, very fast with all type of food. A long time ago I had a boyfriend who worked at Subway. In order for me to be able to eat any of the subs he made for me he came up with a plan. Instead of making me a sub out of turkey or roast beef or whatever he made me a sub that changed as I ate it. The first quarter might have been roast beef with lettuce and mayo, then the next section could have been turkey with mustard, and the next section could have been salami with something and so on. This was…
  • iBullshit!

    cestlavie22
    17 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I will be the first to admit that I grew up in the technology age. My dad was a computer programmer so I was blessed to have all the latest technology as it came out. One of my oldest memories is being only a few years old, sitting on my dad’s lap playing with Paint on the computer. I was a tech kid. And I am proud of it. As I grew up my obsession extended to phones and even iPod. I wanted the latest and greatest tech device to keep up with the times. But the thing was, technology was advancing with me. Cell phones really didn’t become huge until I was a teenager. The iPod really…
  • My version of Choctoberfest!

    cestlavie22
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:34 am
    Sometimes when I begin planning a date night I decide to throw all my previous ideas out the window and go with something that someone else has already perfected and make it my own. Coming off of a failed date night I wanted to be sure this date night was a win. And it was…in some ways. This date night is eloquently titled “Choctoberfest” by the Dating Divas. I get lots of ideas and inspiration from them so it should come as no surprise that this date came from them with a little of my own twist to it. I love the idea of Oktoberfest but I knew that a date in the house was…
  • Women can love sports the same way as men!

    cestlavie22
    10 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I don’t know how much I have talked about this on my blog, but I am a Female sports fan. My favorite sport to watch is baseball but I also follow Football pretty closely and I am learning to love Hockey ( since the boyfriend is into it). I have been into sports since probably middle school or early high school. I was the girl with all guy friends so it kind of came with the territory. I would stay up nights on the phone with one of my guy friends watching a game, complaining about the players and complaining about the penalties. I learned to love the sports. I learned everything about…
 
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Onomatopoetry: Cat Version

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:29 pm
    Here's some more of this stuff, yo. Enjoy.
  • Charizard Uses Bite... It's Super Effective

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    8 Sep 2014 | 10:12 pm
  • Friends of Nigel 5: Mousecop and Charizard

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    29 Jun 2014 | 5:34 pm
    Alrighty, so, I went to draw some pictures for my blog and realized my tablet has not been charged, and I don't feel like waiting until it's charged. Therefore, today's blog post features ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS!And also this picture I drew a while ago:Let's start with the story of how MC and Cha-zizzle came to join our little family...Part 1: The DealOnce upon a time, there was a myself named Jackie. She didn't have any kitties because she lived in a teeny apartment and the evil apartment overlords charged $ARM.99 in non-refundable pet deposits and $LEG.00 (before tax) for monthly pet rent. To…
  • Our Anniversary Happened

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    26 May 2014 | 4:51 pm
    I was going to make some big deal about how it was our first anniversary this weekend, but I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say about it... We spent the night at a cute, slightly haunted B&B, ate some expensive food, and then we came home. Plus, we both came down with a yucky cold, so I don't have a ton if energy for thinking. Therefore, I drew you this pictures depicting how we are spending our Memorial Day!There is a post about our kittens coming up, though, so stay tuned for that.
  • A Comprehensive Guide to Jackie's Hair

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    20 May 2014 | 8:29 pm
    Since the early years of Cartoon Jackie, many different aspects of my person have changed drastically. From the beginning stages of primordial me, I lost the giant geeky glasses, my head got a little bigger, the feet and fingers went away, my facial features took a brief hiatus and came back as tiny eyes and huge mouth, and finally gained another dimension and leveled out as the magnificent creation you see before you today.Throughout all these changes, however, one thing has stayed the same:My ponytail.Remember this movie?Yeah, based on my life. Totally underrated, if you ask me. People…
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    Cerp CerkCerp Cerk » Category » Autocompletes

  • The Awkward Moment When You’re Chilling In The Park And Bruno Mars Walks by Dragging a Piano

    admin
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:10 am
    So, you and a group of friends have decided to get together in the park for a catch-up and a picnic. Everything has gone as planned and everyone has turned up – even Sarah who always says she’s busy and who usually cancels at the last minute. Everyone’s chilling… and then Bruno Mars casually walks by dragging a piano. How awkward? Does it still work? You can get parts of the phrase to show but not the entire thing. With how long this one is, we can see why Google would no longer choose to show it. (we’re sure there’s an innuendo in there somewhere) Why were…
  • Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl

    admin
    14 Aug 2014 | 6:12 am
    “I wanna be that girl, when she falls in love it’s like a big deal and a rare thing.” “Until then, I will date everyone I find. Oh, and if you upset me in any way shape or form, expect a song dedicated to how it was entirely your fault and not mine whatsoever. That is all!” And thank god for that. Before a Google search, we thought that Taylor Swift was dating the Finnish metal band. The post Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • What If One Day You Wake Up And You Were A Chicken Nugget?

    admin
    13 Jun 2014 | 3:21 am
    It would totally suck to one day wake up and find out you were a chicken nugget. But then again, if you were a McDonald’s chicken nugget, it would be a totally different story – everyone loves those bitches. Mmmm, smothered in BBQ sauce and Ketchup. And seeing as we’re now in McDonald’s, it would be rude not to purchase a Big Mac. Nom, nom, nom! Does it still work? Yeah, this was found on 07/11/2013. Just type “what if one day“. Why were people searching it? The only mention of this online we could find was on a Tumblr blog where someone drew a man as a…
  • This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight

    admin
    19 May 2014 | 4:34 am
    Song that goes ah ah eh eh eh Song that goes eh eh eh Song that goes oh uh oh Song that goes la la la la Song that goes dum dum dum dum Come on, guys, together we can solve these autocompletes ourselves! Does anyone know the song that goes “dum dum dum dum”? How about the song that goes “eh eh eh?” As the Tumblr user stated, while some of us are out conquering space flight, some of us are Googling song noises to try and find songs. The post This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • Can I Vacuum My Dog?

    admin
    8 Apr 2014 | 10:59 am
    …and we think it’s safe to say that pets should come with instruction manuals! If you’re asking if it’s safe to vacuum your pet, then please save your pet from future harm by calling the RSPCA on yourself. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “can I v” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? By the looks of it many of you have fetishes for vacuuming dogs. As it turns out the internet has spoken and said it’s fine to hoover the dog. Here’s one person’s response: It won’t hurt him, but it may bother…
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    Grahame GDG

  • How To Become Famous On Youtube

    GrahameGDG
    29 Oct 2014 | 4:02 pm
    How To Become Famous On Youtube / Youtube Famous | GrahameGDG When I was a kid, granted it was a long time ago, I wanted to be a fireman. Lots of my friends wanted to be astronauts and policemen. Seems to me that every 12 year old kids dream these day’s is to become pewdiepie. What the hell happened to the world? Don’t get me wrong I think Pewdiepie seems like a stand up chap and he’s pretty funny. His mysterious and exotic accent is extremely sexy. His hair, his hair, falls perfectly without him trying. You get the idea. But kids these days seem to think that being a minor…
  • My New Band

    GrahameGDG
    26 Oct 2014 | 2:30 pm
    So for those of you who haven’t heard I have started killer a new band called The Devils Of Sodomy. We’re a 3 piece goth-death-industrial-metal-rock-core-grunge band. Our inspirations are My Chemical Romance (omg! love MCR 4 life), Fall Out Boy, Black Veil Brides and The Jackson 5. Our new 13 track album is coming out soon, it’s called “I cut my heart on the razorblade of your love” and will feature such tracks as: 1. Intro (break her in) 2. Shit on my chest like I paid you to 3. I want the tear drops of my love on your face 4. Coffins and vampire bat eggs 5.
  • Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame

    GrahameGDG
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame Hello and welcome and hi to the latest episode in the highly acclaimed Dont Ask Grahame video series. What does that even mean? Highly acclaimed? If anyone knows let me know! So anyway this yetti woman decided to post this question online somewhere and BIG MISTAKE because I found it and I’m a bit of a massive prick. I was pretty harsh in the video but in all honesty though surely you can get some hormone stuff to make you grow less hair? Like I take this hormone stuff called “Chodeaway”. Don’t get it…
  • Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame

    GrahameGDG
    16 Oct 2014 | 1:42 pm
    Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame Yeah true story! This is a tester for my new video series “Story Time With Grahame” where I basically tell you a funny story or two! This one is about the time I got tested for IBS and wheat intolerance and I had to poo in a pot and give it to an old lady. This is probably the most embarrassing story I have about myself particularly because it involves me talking about my own shite for 5 minutes straight! I think this video may seal my fate and mean that I never have sex again as no one who watches this will ever find me…
  • Awkward First Kiss Advice…Girl Kisses Her Own Brother!

    GrahameGDG
    12 Oct 2014 | 11:53 am
    Awkward First Kiss Advice …Girl Kisses Her Own Brother! | Don’t Ask Grahame Ok I admit the title to this one is a bit misleading but I couldn’t exactly write “kissed my brother” as the title. If I did people would be very freaked out and probably un-subscribe and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame them at all. Also if my brother saw the video title he would probably be thinking “when the hell did that happen?!?! Was I drugged?!” so yeah just going with the tame title on this one. So yeah this is totally screwed up but it was funny I have to admit. I…
 
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    Do You Remember

  • Halloween Candy You Just Don’t See Anymore

    Neil Vazquez
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Some of the best candies, chocolates, and sweets have been discontinued from production and unavailable to the general public. While you can’t nosh on a fresh batch of these, you can enjoy scrolling through our list of the best Halloween candy that doesn’t make it around to the local supermarket counters anymore SEE ALSO: 16 Best Halloween Songs Nickel Naks Your favorite candies came packaged in bulk, and at an unbeatable price for a busy Halloween night. Marathon Bar The extra long candy bar was a marathon for your colon, more than anything. Post written by Neil VazquezThe post…
  • It Happened Today — October 30

    Do You Remember
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 30 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • Bending The Curve

    Serge Stevens
    29 Oct 2014 | 8:30 am
    I’ve been thinking that one way I could plot my life on a graph would be based upon how many people I know. When I was very young, I was in a rapid acquaintance up-curve: every day, I’d meet, learn and become interested in more people. I think that curve hit its peak in my mid-40s; now, the people I know or know of are dying, and they’re not being replaced. Jack Bruce, who died a few days ago, is one of those people I liked and probably won’t be replaced. My graph descends further. Bruce, of course, was one of the seminal rock bass players of all time. He was part of the first…
  • 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Hocus Pocus

    Sophie Hall
    29 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Halloween is ever so nearly upon us, so it’s time to round up the usual suspects: pumpkins, a lackluster pair of Dracula fangs, all the cheapest candy ever made, and of course: a routine viewing of the 1993 Disney classic Hocus Pocus. Now over 20 years old, this bewitching family comedy still gets us every time, from Thackery Binx being one of the best wise cracking cats in cinema, to Bette Midler’s impeccable sassiness. Yes, we profess to having seen this film more times than is normal, but at least we made ourselves useful and gathered up these 10 most interesting facts about…
  • Andy Warhol’s Guide To Halloween

    Do You Remember
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    With his forever ghoulish pallor and signature white shock wig, Andy Warhol was quite a fright. But it was living through an experience of true horror—when he suffered multiple gunshot wounds in 1968, fired by a deranged playwright who had wanted a role in his films—which left him looking like “the ghost of a genius.” Doctors reported that he was officially dead for more than 90 seconds during an operation that lasted five and a half hours. Cecil Beaton described the recovering Warhol as a “zombie, more dead than alive.” But Warhol’s Halloween fascination with gore was in full…
 
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    Above Average

  • 6 Facts You Didn’t Know About Halloween

    Above Average
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:01 pm
    1. Dead people find Halloween offensive Halloween may be a celebration of the dead, but most of the deceased find its depictions of death offensive. In a 2006 poll, 79% of afterlife residents found the “gross caricatures of skeletons and ghosts offensive to actual skeletons and ghosts.” So think twice before inviting your dead friends to your next Halloween bash. 2. Candy corn contains no actual corn Despite looking and tasting exactly like fresh corn on the cob, many people are shocked to discover that candy corn contains exactly 0% real corn. The switch was made in 1935, when a…
  • Amy and Seth Reminisce On “Late Night”

    Above Average
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:21 am
    Check out best friends and fellow SNL alums Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers gab about old times on Late Night. Amy also reveals the story behind their first meeting, the details of which can also be found in her new book, Yes Please.   Amy and Seth also quizzed Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin on his own books, proving that yes, the guy really knows his stuff.
  • Chris Rock Returns to Rockefeller Plaza

    Above Average
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:15 am
    Chris Rock is back at his old stomping grounds this week to host Saturday Night Live on November 1st. Check out the promos to see why he and Bobby are constantly associated with “Erotic City.”  
  • Reggie Watts has a great idea for a movie

    Above Average
    28 Oct 2014 | 3:15 pm
    Reggie Watts is an ideas man, which is why the Happy Days meets Twilight moviewill eventually happen. Watch his new music video for the Flight Facilities track, “Sunshine,” co-starring some sweet dance moves.
  • I’m a Guy Who Can’t Stop Talking About the Weather

    Above Average
    28 Oct 2014 | 12:07 pm
    Everybody loves a great Reddit AMA, but not all of them are winners. In this column, we shine a light on the least popular Reddit AMAs. 
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • Fighting the Man Who’s Fighting The Man

    Dustin
    29 Oct 2014 | 4:29 am
    Have you ever had a nemesis? I have. I’ve had many nemeses. Almost all of my nemeses (it is “nemeses,” I looked it up, don’t bother) came during college. You know the kid who would sit in front of every lecture and makes dumb jokes to the professor and asks stupid questions and occasionally look around the classroom with his big, punchable smile? He was my nemesis. I don’t think any of my nemeses ever knew they were my nemeses. They didn’t even know my name because I never actually confronted one. I just sat there and glared and stewed. That all changed the day I met Vincent. I…
  • World Class at All the Wrong Things

    Dustin
    22 Oct 2014 | 4:40 am
    I don’t like to brag, but over the past few years, I’ve become reeeeeeealllllllly good at the following skills: Keeping 100% up-to-date on my entire Twitter feed at all times Avoiding quiet moments by whipping out my phone anytime one threatens to sneak up Collecting enough coins in Madden 14 Mobile to buy Brian Hoyer, which takes much, MUCH longer than it should Ignoring my wife while honing the aforementioned skills Last month, while I was deeply involved in the last skill, Deserae scooted over to me. “Hey, I thought this was cool,” she said. She showed me an article where this guy…
  • The Time I Won the Lottery

    Dustin
    15 Oct 2014 | 4:15 am
    Deserae and I win a LOT of stuff. As I have discussed before, most people find this insufferable. But when they’re done rolling their eyes and saying angry things I hope they don’t mean, everyone always comes back with the same question: “How are you so lucky?” My response: #blessed. I say this because I know it’s what I’m supposed to say, not because it’s how I actually feel. Deep down, I’ve always been convinced that I’m lucky with these things because I make my own luck. Like, if you enter more, you’re probably going to win more, ya know? However, even I know that…
  • Parenting Tips From an Angry Mob

    Dustin
    8 Oct 2014 | 4:39 am
    I spent last Tuesday scribbling parenting notes. I wasn’t attending a parenting seminar or being mentored or even sitting near a single child. I was at a public hearing. I believe that moderating a public hearing about an unpopular decision has to be exactly like parenting a teenager. I guess I can’t say for sure because I have never done either, but it seems like, whenever they get angry, the public and teenagers do the same four things: YELL Issue slanderous statements against authority Make bad analogies Bring up the Bill of Rights I know this because I was both a teenager and a…
  • Farewell Old Friend

    Dustin
    1 Oct 2014 | 4:53 am
    Last week, an old friend of mine passed away. I haven’t been asked yet to give a eulogy at the funeral, but I thought I’d write one up, just to help me work through some emotions. We’re gathered here today to honor the memory of 1GCDL19W5TB552866, a 1993 Ford Tempo affectionately named “The Red Rocket.” The Red Rocket wasn’t the fastest car on the road. Or the fanciest. Or the most reliable. She was labeled by many a “Roller Skate,” “Death Trap” and “Ugliest Car I’ve Ever Seen.” But she was my first, and I loved her dearly. Rather than complain about her habits of…
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    Hipblow

  • KENGURU Car: Electric Car Designed For People In Wheelchairs

    HipBlow
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:30 am
    The KENGURU car is revolutionary vehicle designed for people in wheelchairs to enter the vehicle and drive around the easiest way possible. Now disabled people don't have to get out of their wheel chair or require any assistance in packing it away, people in wheelchairs can easily roll into their car from the back, strap in, and start driving....The post KENGURU Car: Electric Car Designed For People In Wheelchairs appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Bubble Pop Series: Little Geeky Characters looking Cute!

    HipBlow
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    BossLogic has been around for a while making awesome stuff, this time is making simple but great looking little portraits of superheroes and general pop-culture characters named Bubble Pop Series, perfect choose one and make it your new profile pic...The post Bubble Pop Series: Little Geeky Characters looking Cute! appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Men Reaction While Modeling Some Ladies Sexy Halloween Costumes

    HipBlow
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:30 am
    “I like them on women… I do not like them on myself.” A noticeable statement but this is what most of guys think after looking a this variety of Halloween costumes. These guys here are showing us that female's costumes are now a gateway of very provocative costumes and has nothing to do with Halloween night...The post Men Reaction While Modeling Some Ladies Sexy Halloween Costumes appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Orange Sky Laundry: 2 Guys Offer Free Laundry For The Homeless

    HipBlow
    28 Oct 2014 | 7:30 am
    Two 20 year old guys from Brisbane, Australia have taken it upon themselves to found a charity: Orange Sky Laundry, that offers a free mobile laundry service to the Australian Homeless. They've now officially been washing clothes for a month...The post Orange Sky Laundry: 2 Guys Offer Free Laundry For The Homeless appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Drew Struzan And His Iconic Movie Posters!

    HipBlow
    28 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    Over 150 movie posters, album covers, collectibles and more, Drew Stuzan is one of the most respected artist in Hollywood and is the one behind famous posters of Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future and more. Don't miss these iconic posters of a true artist with a unique style you sure will recognize...The post Drew Struzan And His Iconic Movie Posters! appeared first on Hipblow.
 
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • 29 Oct 2014 | 7:48 pm

    EMM
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:48 pm
    lp! As you can see I'm lost! I'm trying to post my poem but it will not attach, what am I doing wrong?![ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_53_1414637225184_137[/ATTACH]
  • 29 Oct 2014 | 7:45 pm

    EMM
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:45 pm
    e[ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_53_1414637068893_839[/ATTACH]
  • 29 Oct 2014 | 7:43 pm

    EMM
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:43 pm
    h[ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_53_1414636994058_561[/ATTACH]
  • The ballad of conscience:

    f.r.richards
    28 Oct 2014 | 2:19 pm
    Now this is not something that sounds very funny. Why should we fight? But most people will do anything for money. Why should we fight? And they do not see power is different from might. Why should we fight? But good people will do things because they are right. That’s why we fight.
  • Miss – Understood

    kokoterrell
    27 Oct 2014 | 7:53 pm
    Miss – Understood Do I confuse you by the way I look? Not intelligent enough to write a book? Taught by the greatest schools of thought Graduated the best university Summa cum laude, fought adversity Diligent, still paid less than the rest Overachiever, top of the class, the best I hope I don’t offend you, my intentions are good If so, Pardon me, I just want to be understood Condescending, offending Patronizing, is agonizing On paper – perfect, in person, not who you want me to be I want to be accepted, don’t treat me any differently Don’t want to be Miss-Understood Because I’m…
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    Dubious Knowledge Institute

  • Beat the Clock: It’s Daylight Saving Time

    dvanoss
    28 Oct 2014 | 3:00 am
    Daylight Saving Time, or “DST”, or “‘How Do You Set The Microwave Clock Again?’ Time” is the practice of advancing clocks forward during the summer months so people can get even more depressed when fall comes and they have to set them back again and make it dark by 4:00 pm. The hope behind the practice is that people will get up earlier in the morning when it is lighter, and also experience more daylight during the evening hours. This hope does not take into account the fact that Americans are a hopelessly lazy people, but not lazy enough to not buy room…
  • Flip it Good: 12 Spatula Facts

    dvanoss
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:35 pm
    THIS WEEKS’ TOPIC IS A COLUMN CHALLENGE; suggest yours here. It waits in your utensil drawer; flat, simple, waiting to scrape the teflon off your best Calphalon pan. The lowly spatula may not be as popular at the high school dance as the pie server or grilling tongs, but it does serve a purpose in its own, quiet, greasy way. The spatula derives its name from the Latin word spatha, meaning broadsword, which conjures up visions of Roman centurions clumsily flipping burgers with their swords at a pre-village-conquering tailgate party. The same Latin root also has similarities to the…
  • How to Wallpaper a Room in 8 Curse Words or Less

    dvanoss
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:00 am
    Anyone can paint a room, or a room and a carpet, or a room, carpet and dog, but it takes a special skill to enhance your decor with that unique, insoluble glue that only wallpaper can bring to your rug. Adding wallpaper is an easy way to add spice to a space, or, as we prefer to say, an easy way to an involuntary mental evaluation. You can take a room from dull to dashing, with a brief stop at Xanax, in a matter of hours, or even minutes, if you own a staple gun. Although it may seem intimidating, like performing brain surgery with gluey, sticky fingers, these simple tips can help anyone can…
  • The 5 Life Stages of Halloween

    dvanoss
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:40 pm
    Hear that? It’s the sound of Candy Manufacturer Workers punching time clocks because they have to work overtime to make more “Fun Size” Butterfingers for your kids to put in their plastic pumpkins! Which can only mean it’s Halloween, the worst time of year to be a diabetic or dental hygienist. Halloween History …it has become much cheaper to dole out a handful of Dum Dums rather than be dragged through an arduous lawsuit over smashed pumpkins and flaming dog doo.The tradition of going from door to door to receive food existed in Great Britain and Ireland in…
  • 15 Mildly Accurate Facts About Chocolate

    dvanoss
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:36 am
    The lure of chocolate has drawn mankind for centuries down its smooth, brown river of enticement, over its sweet, cocoa-flavored falls where, for a split second, we pause to bask in its unparalleled flavor, just before  smashing on its sharp, calorie-laden rocks below. Advertisers entice us with exciting, made up chocolate words such as “chocoriffic“, or “choctacular” or “chocsational” or “stupen-choco-dous”, some of which we, of course, made up, but which greedy advertisers will now probably steal. So what is this appeal that this simple…
 
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • Back to the Future Sex Kid

    ponyboy
    29 Oct 2014 | 2:30 pm
    Check out this Easter egg in Back to the Future 3 where Doc’s horny little son is ready to write the future with Marty’s chick. The post Back to the Future Sex Kid appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Dia De Los Creepos

    ponyboy
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:00 pm
    We’re riding this theme until November 1st.  Check out these creepy and frightening images…. The post Dia De Los Creepos appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Dia De Los Muertos

    ponyboy
    29 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    Dia De Los Muertos or Day of the Dead is a Mexican celebration that takes place on October 31, November 1st and November 2nd to honor and remember those who have passed.  Here’s a collection of pics featuring art and makeup used in celebrating Mexican Halloween. The post Dia De Los Muertos appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • I Like These (30)

    ponyboy
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:30 am
    One of the greatest pictures in the history of pictures at the bottom. The post I Like These (30) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • The Silent Years

    ponyboy
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:00 pm
    Check out the old tv show The Wonder Years, that featured a whole lotta voice over narration, without the narration.  I present, The Silent Years. The post The Silent Years appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

    Winston Chong
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:45 am
    1. Porn: there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.  2. Personal porn: you can have a ball of a time elsewhere ogling at female bloggers slash model slash actress slash race queen providing revealing selfies. No need for this nerd to pimp himself.3. Food porn: I don't own a DSLR nor do I get to eat for free. iEat, iBurp, iShit. 4. Word porn: I find scolding jerks using vulgarities or genitalia a lazy cop-out. There are far more flowery words to choose to insult someone with greater effect.5. Social porn: no inspirational quotes or…
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 4)

    Winston Chong
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:24 pm
      Too proud to beg,Too dumb to steal,Too shy to ask,Too stiff to learn,Too meek to reject, Too smart to admit any of that*****   I don't go into discussions about whether I see my proverbial cup as half-empty or half-full. Because I always make sure my cup is overflowing at all times...with ice-cold beer. When I'm at play, it will be quench my thirst. When I'm at work, it will be dumped on those idiots who step on my toes, which I constantly need refilling! ***** A senior and longtime middle-aged female colleague had this weird notion that I'm still single and wanted to intro a…
  • 9 things I learnt in Seoul after 6 days or how I 'start to stop the keeping warm jar'

    Winston Chong
    2 Oct 2014 | 7:16 am
    I think Japanese are friendlier.1. Despite the plethora of skin-care boutiques, not all Koreans are blessed with glowing complexion, and it makes you wonder about the effectiveness of those face masks.2. Real Koreans have single eyelid. Those with double eyelids are happy customers from the dozens of cosmetic surgery clinics that lined the boulevards.3. There are few eye candies that caught my eyes. The cosmetically enhanced ones are already in K-Pop bands, TV dramas and movies. Tourists can see the real Koreans by visiting the country.4. Major shopping districts will have multiple shops from…
  • Stockholm Syndrome

    Winston Chong
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:40 pm
    Stockholm Syndrome perfectly describes how fans of a certain fruit company ignored the superb offerings from rival plantations for years and willingly forgive this company when it finally listens to their pleas and gives them a bigger fruit today. I'll not take a bite from this fruit since I have the entire orchard to choose from.
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 3)

    Winston Chong
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:47 am
    While guys like me approaching the big Four-Oh aspire to be a 'hunkle' (Hunky uncle), most likely I'll just turn out to be a 'funkle' (fatty uncle). But since I don't have any nephews or nieces, technically I wouldn't get to be a bona fide uncle, so I'll just go straight from being a nerd to Dirty Old Man.*****I know that Facebook/personal blog can be a depressing place where you hate-read your friend's updates on their perfect life and their even more perfect meal. Allow me to reveal some nasty things about myself so you will feel better about yourself. I'm a bad liar, a horrible MCP and I'm…
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    Funny Dating & Relationship Stories & Advice - Melanys Guydlines

  • It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s A Zeusvision Bus : Larger Than Life Creative Ads For You & Me

    Melany
    28 Oct 2014 | 8:50 am
    A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the world of Zeusvision and their ginormous buses. You’ve seen outdoor advertising in many places? Those annoying looped vids in Las Vegas taxis that repeat the most annoying ads for huge companies with no relation to the person viewing in the cab. What about those billboards in NY or LA that stay up for too long? Can you say a decaying, Thanksgiving ad that still hangs above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. when Santa is coming down the chimney for his milk and cookies Christmas Day? Have you ever wanted... Continue Reading
  • Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

    Melany
    27 Oct 2014 | 9:54 am
    The social media world is vast and offers so many opportunities I wouldn’t otherwise have without this blog and MelanysGuydlines channels. This morning I was honored to “hangout” as guest on Reality Crowd TV discussing crowdfunding, entrepreneurship, and relationship marketing in social Media & PR. The only catch was we taped via Google Hangouts and most guests were on the East Coast. As you know, I am somewhere in the world but on the West Coast. So, when I woke Teddy Brewski up at 5AM to take him for a walk and it was pitch black in the desert –... Continue Reading
  • Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

    Melany
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:25 pm
    Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself... Continue Reading
  • Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

    Melany
    22 Oct 2014 | 8:57 am
    I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just... Continue Reading
  • Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen

    Melany
    15 Oct 2014 | 7:55 am
    Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from... Continue Reading
 
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • Winter Solider Gate

    themidside
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:29 pm
    Stop the downloads, there’s a schism in The Midside. Elliot loves Captain America: Winter Soldier whereas Justin hates it. In this special abridged episode, Daniel arbitrates the disagreement by giving his take and leading a discussion on the movie. But first, Elliot sorts out Justin and Daniel’s confusion over what Gamergame is about.
  • The Civil War Edition

    themidside
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:21 pm
    Are you an Iron Man Fan or a Captain America Defender? Justin and Elliot take their sides and state their cases for the upcoming Marvel Civil War. Later in TV with JML, we unpack the latest episodes of The Walking Dead and Doctor Who and Daniel shares his excitement over CBS’ Digital Subscription Service. Also, there’s a lot of talk about shitting on people.
  • The Shortsighted Edition

    themidside
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:51 am
    The Walking Dead is back and we couldn’t be happier with the direction we see it headed in. Of course, we’re only able to see down the road to DC because we work hard not to be shortsighted. Elliot also returns with a vengeance, calling out gays for their behavior and defending his love for procedurals.
  • The Handguns Edition

    themidside
    6 Oct 2014 | 11:38 pm
    What if you could 3D print handguns? What if you could play in a band called Handguns? We answer these questions and more as Handguns guitarist Brandon Pagano takes a break from tour for A Midside Conversation about why he loves creating pop punk music. We also remind everyone involved in the NFL why it’s stupid to piss off Tom Brady (but ask them to keep doing it because we love watching the results).
  • The Ish Edition

    themidside
    30 Sep 2014 | 12:33 am
    Be careful what you ish for or you’ll end up with episodes like this one. We discuss the three-breast duping and the attack on Emma Watson before reviewing the series premieres of Scorpion, Gotham, and Blackish. Our fixation on LOST also returns as we ponder its legacy. No, we haven’t changed our minds about Season 6. Not even a little-ish.
 
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    Gifking-blog

  • Enjoy a cheerful Life with Funny Cartoon Images

    Kumiko kurosu
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:35 am
    Can you make someone happy? Let him roll all over on the floor as he keeps on laughing constantly. Well, such desired skills are often practiced by cartoonist, comedians, jokers of circus. These people are professionals who make their living out of laughter, but now the time has arrived for the common man to make his family, friends and loved one hilariously happy. Especially the children at home requires special treatment from you as they are the most difficult to please. They’re swinging moods and playfulness often makes it difficult to understand them clearly. However; the kids have…
  • Elevate your Drab Mood with Really Funny Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    8 Sep 2014 | 3:02 am
    Nowadays the main topic of discussion among everyone is on how to keep stress at bay. Newspaper, magazines, TV, movies every kind of media is trying their level best to create awareness on the very bad effects of stress and diseases related to it. Top physicians are prescribing good diet, exercise and of course most important of all the pill of good laughter. In the busy schedule of everyday one tries to find the easiest way to gain happiness and it could be attained through really funny pictures showcased with medium of online funny web sites. The contemporary sector of fun has a new…
  • Funny GIF Images The Original Source Of Laughter

    Kumiko kurosu
    11 Jun 2014 | 4:08 am
    An emotion defines human, animals and every other living thing. Well the whole world experience’s emotions of nature too along with rain, earthquake, Tsunami and like. Emotions are a way to show what we are feeling inside. The common sentiments like anger, sorrow, laughter, disgust and others are easily captured under our eyes.  Yet from time to time we all feel deprived of a sentiment called laughter. It is a widely accepted gesture that bond people together, spreads brotherhood, despite geological borders. So to keep it alive we get help from several creative sources like jokes,…
  • Funny Crazy Picture Gallery A Complete Illustration Of Universal Brotherhood

    Kumiko kurosu
    6 Jun 2014 | 9:44 pm
    Are you getting upset easily, quite often? Feelings lost and depressed then cheer up as the amazing world of internet is available to make you happy as a small baby. It can keep you entertained along with its various entertaining videos, news and much more. Practice watching these things as famous comic artist Charlie Chaplin had once said in his interview that “laughter is more precious compared to all the wealth of the world”. So keeping that in mind today various outstanding web are vying with each other to acquire a huge and memorable collection of funny picture gallery which keep…
  • The Many Aspects Of Funny Animated Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    22 May 2014 | 12:37 am
    The art of storytelling has been a part of every countries tradition. Good parenting believes in the aspect too. The characterization of Tom and Jerry, Garfield, Donald duck, Mickey mouse, Minnie, Scooby Doo the dog, Cbeebies and Teletubbies and Tinker Bell, Carousel and in numerous are created to please the  mind of young and old alike. These funny animated pictures create a moment of unstoppable laughter as one views it. Most likely a child connects to these pictures more than an adult because he or she finds it more lovable, easy to get glued to it and to feel a feeling of comfort,…
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    CheesyPeasy

  • Scumbag Alcohol does it again

    cheesypeasy
    26 Oct 2014 | 1:23 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Scumbag Alcohol does it again appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Gamers Life

    cheesypeasy
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Gamers Life appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • That Summarizes Wresting

    cheesypeasy
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:55 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post That Summarizes Wresting appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • People Need to Become More Aware

    cheesypeasy
    21 Oct 2014 | 10:35 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post People Need to Become More Aware appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Best Anti Theft Protection

    cheesypeasy
    21 Oct 2014 | 9:10 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Best Anti Theft Protection appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
 
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    Funny Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes | Short Real Inspiring Stories

  • “Total Frustration can only be satisfied by Destruction.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Job Change

    Malenadu
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:59 pm
    A salesman grew tired of his job, so he decided to give it up and become a policeman. Several months later, he met up with a friend he used to work with. "So, how are you enjoying your new career?" his friend asked. "Well, the pay is good and the hours aren't that bad," replied the cop. "The part I like best about it though, is the customer is always wrong." Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Salesman, Comic Small Story with Policeman, Superb Awesome article on wrong doing, Interesting Crazy Incident while job change, Quotes on Frustration, Satisfying Cartoon Joke
  • “Nothing is cheaper than Free.”- Casino Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes

    Malenadu
    28 Oct 2014 | 10:17 pm
    Ned is down on his luck in Las Vegas. He has gambled away all his money and has to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happens to be open and he uses the dime in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his small winnings into a million dollars. Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he is eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him. After months…
  • “Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”- Drunk Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes

    Malenadu
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:07 am
    She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said....It's not my fault...I ran out of money. Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Drinking, Comic Small Story with Money, Superb Awesome article on Halfdrunk, Interesting Crazy Incident while returning home drunk, Happiness Buying Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Anti-Depressants
  • “Stupidity is friendship with misunderstanding.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Idiot’s

    Malenadu
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:29 am
    A man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Wet Hair, Comic Small Story with stupid husband, Superb Awesome article on shampoo, Interesting Crazy Incident while taking bath, Misunderstanding Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Stupid Chickens
  • “Caring always does not mean Sympathy.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Queue

    Malenadu
    18 Oct 2014 | 11:17 pm
    On her way back from the concession stand, Sandra asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Sandra nodded.  "Oh, good.  Then this is my row." Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Sympathy, Comic Small Story on Knowing, Superb Awesome article in Concession Stand, Interesting Crazy Incident while Standing, Caring Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Iphone
 
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • Water You Drinking?

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:20 am
    You’d think one of the worst experiences when drinking water is to chug a few gulps… Only to notice… Some teeny, tiny, fluffy bunnies… Or excuse me, food particles (perhaps some left over cinnamon bun from four days ago… Or remnants of the Honey Nut Cheerios you gobbled up this morning…) floating around in it. Wait, was that even your water? I know when this happens to me, I don’t need to grab a spoon in order to make myself [Read On!]
  • Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    21 Oct 2014 | 9:02 pm
    I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]
  • A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    14 Oct 2014 | 5:22 am
    As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]
  • Good Mood Food: We Could All Use Some

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    7 Oct 2014 | 5:31 am
    Let me take a WILD guess as to what happened to you this morning… You woke up after pressing snooze for about 45 minutes. Realizing that you’re going to be extremely late, you wrestle with your TRUE love (your lush pillow but of course) only to fall flat on your face thanks to your bed pulling a “piledriver” on you… A move that’s even banned from the WWE. After regaining consciousness, you dizzily race on over to your “trusty” liquid energizer (your [Read On!]
  • Joan Rivers: A Toast To You!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    30 Sep 2014 | 5:22 am
    Joan Rivers and I met a couple of times when I worked at E! Entertainment. “THE TWINS” circa Feb 2011! OMG am I wearing… GASP: HEELS? Check us out now MAKING POP TARTS! I’m still shocked she never once told me that my outfits look like regurgitated remnants of a broken garbage disposal. The dress code in the GiGi Eats kitchen! She didn’t even say ANYTHING about my Adidas sandals that have been surgically fused to my feet for the past 6 years. I wonder how many plastic [Read On!]
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    PMSLweb

  • Iphone 6 Cases – Practice safe six

    FROZ
    29 Oct 2014 | 4:50 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersIphone 6 Cases – As a popular idiom points out, love makes the world go round. You never know when the latter will strike, and while many beautiful romances start in the most unexpected places, chances are that you’re probably not aware that one of your most faithful and devoted everyday companions can be confronted to it at any moment too, just the way you could. Indeed, until today did you acknowledge that quietly tucked into your jean’s back pocket or timidly cradled in your handbag, your iPhone 6 could see the course of its…
  • Merry Hump day – Overviewing the midweek with a smirk

    FROZ
    29 Oct 2014 | 3:37 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersMerry Hump day – As the peak of the business week is reached, the time has come to sit back a few minutes in order to catch a breath and allow yourself a global view of the current situation: Weekly goals minus achievements of the past two days =…?… a) Awesome, I can do this, finger in the nose b) Umm, alrighty, I might need to wake up a tad, but it’s within my reach c) Ugh! Not looking good, three painful days coming up d) F UUUUUUUUU ! In all cases, wishing you a fantastic PMSLweb moment! This post Merry Hump day –…
  • Facebook humor – A best of Facebook funnies

    FROZ
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:59 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersFacebook humor – Because rare are those of us who, let’s be honest, do not own a Facebook account, and whether we like it or not are pretty much familiar with its unique and ruthless universe; today on PMSLweb, we’ve decided to dedicate yet another post to the number one social network which, despite numerous overthrowing attempts, remains comfortably lodged in its throne. No doubt that a majority of the following funnies will ring a bell, but are you willing to admit it? Wishing you guffaw-packed PMSLweb moment! This post Facebook…
  • Monday funny bone – Igniting the new week

    FROZ
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:47 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersMonday funny bone – While we hope that your weekend turned out to be a synonym of joy and guffaws, it’s now time to focus on the upcoming new week and kick-start the latter correctly. In order to help you make the best of it, we’ve picked out a few funnies as usual to submit to that wicked funny bone of yours. Wishing you a joy-packed PMSLweb moment! This post Monday funny bone – Igniting the new week appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • Weekend lolz – Crazy is in the house tonight

    FROZ
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:20 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersWeekend lolz – Before getting started today, we would like to wish a Happy New Year to all our Muslim buddies, we hope that the upcoming year will treat you right and turn out to be synonym of love, health and happiness in general (please take it easy on the nanah tea will you). As far as the rest of the news is concerned it’s the weekend would you believe it, and since it’s time to kick-off your shoes and enjoy, here’s our weekend selection of funnies. Wishing you a gorgeous PMSLweb moment! This post Weekend lolz – Crazy is in…
 
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    WordPress.com News

  • Blogging U.’s Photo 101 Course: Post a Photo a Day

    Cheri Lucas Rowlands
    28 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    On The Daily Post, we host the popular Weekly Photo Challenge each Friday, and we’re always excited to see your snapshots from all over the world. We thought a free photoblogging course mixing the spirit of these photo challenges with bite-sized shooting tips would be a fun way to get you taking pictures and meeting your daily posting goals. Introducing Blogging U.’s Photography 101 course Photography 101 is an intro-level course, open to all. You might be a totally new blogger, an amateur photographer, a veteran photo challenge participant, or a pro-shooter. Or, you may be…
  • 2014 Midterm Elections, Get Out The Vote!

    Peter Slutsky
    27 Oct 2014 | 10:15 am
    Since 2004, WordPress has set out with an ambitious goal in mind — to democratize publishing and put state-of-the-art tools in front of publishers both large and small across the planet. We believe strongly in this vision because when more people have access to powerful tools on the web, that in-turn empowers them to do great things and publish amazing content. We feel the same way when it comes to democratizing, well, democracy — and in just a few weeks, citizens across the United States will have a unique opportunity to flex their political muscle and vote in the 2014 Midterm…
  • The NaMos are Coming! The NaMos are Coming!

    Michelle W.
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    November is one week away, and that means NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are, too! If you’ve been thinking about reinvigorating your blogging or are finally ready to stop procrastinating on that book you’ve always wanted to write, these two great events (and communities) can give you the jolt of motivation you need. NaMo what now? NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are short for “National Novel Writing Month” and “National Blog Posting Month,” respectively. In the first, writers commit to writing a 50,000-word novel between November 1 and November 30; in the second, to…
  • New Themes: Minnow and Cols

    Tammie Lister
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    We’re happy to introduce two brand new free themes today! Minnow Designed by Mel Choyce, Minnow is a light, simple theme that puts your social presence front and center. A social links menu is displayed prominently below the site title and logo, so readers can easily find you on your favorite social networks. When activated, the optional Custom Menu or Widget area appear in a slide-out sidebar, making secondary content accessible while keeping the focus on your content. Learn more about the free Minnow theme at the Theme Showcase, or preview it by going to Appearance → Themes. Cols…
  • Longreads’ Best of WordPress, Vol. 7

    Mark Armstrong
    22 Oct 2014 | 10:08 am
    Here it is! A new collection of our favorite stories from across all of WordPress. As always, you can find our past collections here. You can follow Longreads on WordPress.com for more daily reading recommendations, or subscribe to our free weekly email. Publishers, writers, you can share links to your favorite essays and interviews (over 1,500 words) on Twitter (#longreads) and on WordPress.com by tagging your posts longreads. 1. What Happens When a Veteran High School Teacher Becomes a Student for the Day Grant Wiggins “I waited fourteen years to do something that I should have done my…
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    Humoropedia

  • Bomb ISIS with junk food and video games

    Clever Cleverinski
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
    Bomb ISIS with junk food and video games. They would lose their will to fight. This strategy has worked before. read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Barack Obama Is Now More Offensive Than N-Word

    Clever Cleverinski
    28 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    Remember times when the ‘n-word’ could get you in trouble in a black neighborhood? Well, now there is an even read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Desperate Democrats are Transforming Conservatives by Stripping Then of Their Former Identities and Turning Them into Leftists

    Anonymous
    28 Oct 2014 | 8:27 pm
    Democrats are panicking as the GOP makes gains but they are doing something radical in response. They have resorted to read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Best Comedy Movies Of All Time + Funniest Movies From Recent Years

    Clever Cleverinski
    27 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
        Exciting World of Comedy Movies Humanity has become so used to the art of cinema that now virtually read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • This Is How Detroit Politicians Will Screw Over Their People

    Clever Cleverinski
    26 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
    You may have heard of a Detroit housing crisis. Many houses in that city are either foreclosed or about to read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
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    I Hate Working In Retail

  • 30 Secrets Baristas Won’t Tell You

    Mbeddau
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:47 pm
    1. If you want your name spelled correctly, just tell us. We won’t be offended. instagram.com That way you aren’t mad when I yell out, “Snarf, your latte is ready!” 2. Asking for add-ons AFTER your drink is made will get you universally loathed. Filmbuff / Via coffeetownmovie.tumblr.com I know it’s only a ten cent […] The post 30 Secrets Baristas Won’t Tell You appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
  • 81 Thoughts Retail Workers Actually Have During Their Shift

    Mbeddau
    29 Oct 2014 | 1:00 pm
    Chris Hondros / Getty 1. It’s 6 a.m. What the hell am I doing here? 2. I’m going to mop and listen to Al Green all day and no one’s going to stop me. 3. The holidays are the most irritating time of the year. 4. Am I allowed to wear this at work? 5. […] The post 81 Thoughts Retail Workers Actually Have During Their Shift appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
  • 23 Secrets Retail Workers Won’t Tell You

    Mbeddau
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:15 am
    1. Holidays are not the most wonderful time of the year. instagram.com Between late nights doing inventory and rude customers, it’s a virtual never-ending hell scape of sadness and despair. 2. You have to force yourself to smile every time you ask a customer, “Do you need any help?” MTV Asking the same question dozens […] The post 23 Secrets Retail Workers Won’t Tell You appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
 
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    absrdCOMEDY

  • The Cave Times – History’s 1st clown terrifies toddler

    Inga
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:59 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor NEANDERVILLE — What was intended as a happy birthday surprise for Tribe toddler, Walden, turned into a disaster today when history’s first clown debuted. Terrified at the sight, Walden at first cried, then screamed, and then withdrew into a catatonic state from which he did not emerge until nightfall. At that point, he pronounced his hatred for parents who would do such a thing to their own flesh and blood. “Creeps!” the boy declared. “We thought he would love it,” said Rada, the boy’s mother. “Honest, we did.” “All the adults laughed…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #CatMovies @midnight: Our Top Picks

    David Davidson
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:32 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Comedy Central’s social media-minded game show @midnight continues to blow up Twitter with it’s nightly #HashtagWars. We present to you our completely subjective Top Tweet’s from #NewStateMottos, in no particular order. (Special guest tweet picker – #hashtagwarrior @rockskimmer) 3:10 to Puma #CatMovies @midnight — Brett Osinoff (@BrettOsinoff) October 30, 2014 A Hard Strays Night #CatMovies @midnight — Dan Crohn (@DanCrohn) October 30, 2014 All Dogs Go To Hell #CatMovies @midnight — Jefe Tinnell (@DrewEstateMofro) October 30, 2014…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #ScaryGpsDirections via @BreezyPuffs: The Top Picks

    Breezy Puffs
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:13 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor So many great tweets for #ScaryGpsDirections. It wasn’t easy but here are #SheNaniGans (@breezypuffs‘s) top picks: #ScaryGpsDirections @BreezyPuffs "Tell'em Large Marge sent'cha!" pic.twitter.com/PhIjlmeJaR — The Nose Knows (@TheToiletBowler) October 29, 2014 In 1.3 Miles Turn Left At The Place You And Your Friends Killed A Hobo And Made A Pact To Never Speak Of It #ScaryGpsDirections @BreezyPuffs — McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) October 29, 2014 "Enjoying your drive? Like us on Facebook to complete…
  • Jaw-Dropping Dating Advice w/Heather

    Heather Kozlakowski
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:11 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Heather is a single female comic in her late 30’s who has been on 22 dates in the past eight months and still lives alone with her cat. Heather Letting her give dating advice is absurd. Dear Heather, Do guys need to groom down below? Signed, Bare Bear Dear Bare Bear, Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice shaving thee…naughty bits. Groomed: I now know you were expecting me OR someone else has already been there. Not Groomed: I now know you are a dirty hippie and I’ll be gifting you patchouli on your birthday. Dear Heather, Beards; are they…
  • Man Accused of Being Real Vampire at Halloween Pub Crawl Event

    Taylor Sade
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:08 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor CLEVELAND, OH — Sources report a man was suspected to be a real vampire at a Halloween pub crawl event this past weekend. Darin Hanks, a 45-year-old overnight factory worker, was taken into custody by the police for questioning at the “Halloween Pub, Grub and Dub” event featuring booze, food and non-stop EDM (electronic dance music). “It was a pub crawl event, and I had been drinking, heavily,” said Hanks. “I completely forgot I was wearing a vampire costume.” But what lead to Hanks arrest? Trish Morris, a 40-year-old recent…
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    Peak Perspective

  • Give Me the Straight Dope

    peakperspective
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:17 pm
    General words of wisdom suggest everything in moderation, right? But I’ve got an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, steamy kind of dreamy need for podcasts. And I think my weakness might hover right on the edge of addiction. I actually crave my daily dose with an urgency that suggests the necessity for an intervention. I’m a […]
  • This is No Laughing “Matter”

    peakperspective
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:36 pm
    Two weeks later there are seventeen staples. That’s the punch line of this joke. Except, it ended up being much more of a punch in the gut, than a good giggle. Still, as with every adventure I experience, there is a constant narrative running in my mind. I cannot stop it. I share it with […]
  • At Your Service, Madam!

    peakperspective
    11 Oct 2014 | 8:09 pm
    Welcome to In A Jiffy Internet! You’ve reached repair services. For English, please stay on the line—para Espanol oprima nueve. Tap. Tap. Tap. I have your phone number as 988-042-1414. If you’re calling about the account for that number, say yes, or press one. Otherwise, say no, or press two. Yes. Sorry. I didn’t hear […]
  • In the Heat of the Moment

    peakperspective
    4 Oct 2014 | 7:41 pm
    There are moments when you feel the stars align and the gods have smiled down upon you, and then there are the moments when you’re actually awake.   This week has been an exercise in staying off the “She’s gone postal” bulletin. I’m sure it’s not been pleasant for anyone around me, despite my epic […]
  • I Love You For Sentimental Reasons

    peakperspective
    27 Sep 2014 | 7:26 pm
    I am a saver. On the border of a hoarder, but still safely on the saver side. Regardless, it’s clear some culling needs to be done. It’s best to have someone stern and unattached help you with this project because there’s nothing more clarifying than having that somebody snatch the third identical teapot from your gooey […]
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    Robot Butt

  • Imagine a World Without Monsters

    B. Joseph Jackson
    29 Oct 2014 | 1:54 pm
    Imagine there’s no monsters It’s hard even if you try No Loch Ness monster Above us only sky Imagine all the monsters Dying out today…Imagine there’s no Bigfoot It’s quite hard to do Nothing to scream or cry for And no Dracula too Imagine all the monsters Spilling life in blood…You may say I’m a screamer But I’m not the only one I hope someday they’ll join us Monsters and humans will be as oneImagine no Chupacabra I don’t think that you can No need for creepy organs A brotherhood of only man Imagine all the monsters Leaving out this world…You may say I’m a screamer But…
  • Death Doesn’t Mean Being Dead

    M. Shea Stanley
    29 Oct 2014 | 11:10 am
  • The Monsters That Live Among (or Above) Us

    Caitlin Yocco-Locascio
    29 Oct 2014 | 5:18 am
    One of the blessings of being a millennial is the joy of apartment living. At our age, our parents had already bought houses and didn’t even know what college loans were. Their furniture was probably just as hodge-podgey as ours is but at least they had their own property tax to pay.The misleading part of apartment living is college. That’s when it’s fun. You get to live with your best friends with limited responsibilities next to other friends with similar, if not identical, lifestyles. What they don’t tell you about apartment living is how horrible it can be after graduation, mostly…
  • Spider Eggs in Your Ear Canal About to Hatch

    Robot Butt News Corp.
    29 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    BREAKING: Sources have confirmed that the spider eggs which have been growing in your ear canal for the past five days are about to hatch.Nestled against your eardrum and being warmed by the gentle pulsations of your heartbeat, the egg sack containing dozens of young spiders will soon burst, experts said.“Oh yeah, any minute now,” an anonymous source said. “Those eggs have reached critical mass. We all know you thought it was just an ear infection but…Christ…good luck, buddy.”In related news, the tick in your rectum has swollen to twice its size since last night.
  • Everyday Monsters

    The Robot Butt Staff
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:12 pm
    The world is full of sick, demented freaks. Just look at a few of the most recent monsters we’ve come across: “I was at the coffee shop one morning and I saw a quarter fall out of a woman’s hand. I picked it up and kept it for myself. Later, she came back looking for it and I said nothing.” – Richard, Texas “I brush my teeth with warm water.” – Julia, Massachusetts “A friend once asked if I could pick him up from the airport. I politely said no, citing a big workload that I could not escape. I stayed home instead and ate a…
 
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    Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News

  • You Can Eat Dogs and Cats in Pennsylvania Just Don’t Breed Them.

    Brad Gatewood
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:35 am
    Earlier this month, the Pennsylvania Senate passed a bill that would have subjected anyone who “reeds, keeps, sells, offers for sale or transfers a dog or cat for the purpose of human consumption” to up to seven years in prison. However, It is currently legal to slaughter and eat dogs or cats in Pennsylvania, and, thanks in large part to lobbying from the National Rifle Association, it will remain so. It Is Perfectly Legal to Kill and Eat Dogs and Cats In Pennsylvania
  • What Would Jesus Do?

    Brad Gatewood
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:22 am
    Times were certainly different then.
  • Jim Carrey Does Matthew Mcconaughey

    Brad Gatewood
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:47 am
    Jim Carrey did several of these on SNL. Pretty Funny! Making fun of an Oscar winner for stooping to car commercials is especially brutal coming from someone who’s never been nominated for an Academy Award, but still does a better McConaughey than McConaughey.
  • Turnip For What?

    Brad Gatewood
    15 Oct 2014 | 1:59 am
    I’m sorry, can someone please explain what “Turnip For What?” means? Michelle Obama send the nation a cryptic message. What could it mean?
  • Random Crap That Makes Me Laugh

    Brad Gatewood
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:47 pm
    Here are a bunch of random images I’ve been holding on to. No real category, just funny crap that makes me laugh
 
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    Exaggerated Reality

  • Homemade Choose-Your-Own-Adventures — Read mine, and die eating cereal

    Exaggerated Reality
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:21 am
    On the topic of terrible foods, I made my own (humorous) Choose-Your-Own-Adventure for my brother on his birthday, and if you choose the wrong breakfast to eat you may die. You can click here to read it.  On a similar note, some time late last year I started a similar project with my younger brother Caleb. However, this […]
  • Penance for our Sins

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Oct 2014 | 8:45 am
    You might be surprised to see a post titled “Penance for our Sins” after my post the other day where I mentioned I didn’t want to write posts  about depressing life problems. Never fear. This post is only about lunch. Yes, lunch. We had a lot of leftovers from a party we recently hosted and a good portion of them […]
  • I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it

    Exaggerated Reality
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:47 am
    Yes. I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it. (No, not this one) It sounds like the start (and finish) of a dumb joke, but it’s true. I have photographic evidence. As you can see, I started the post in 2012. That’s over two years of procrastination. Why didn’t I ever finish it? All […]
  • Marie Fishing

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:20 am
    Colorized and restored in photoshop.
  • Website Design: Arcade Cabinet

    Exaggerated Reality
    11 Jun 2014 | 1:36 pm
    Designed this website for a friend using Photoshop.   I’ve made a few minor changes since, but for the most part it’s finished.
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    Pranks - WTFisdit

  • Crazy Bears Fight | Duel for the Picnic Basket

    admin
    30 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Yogi Bear and his mortal enemy decided to get into paw fight over some food. They actually could just be playing in someone’s front yard but it sounds cooler that they were in a fight. Original Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBhR5ToR7a8SUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Bear Opens Car Door:…
  • Touching People’s Faces

    admin
    29 Oct 2014 | 4:51 pm
    READ DESCRIPTION WHUDDUP, this gotta be the funniest and most awkward shit ever tbh. If you click this link you will find all my social networking sites, DO IT! http://www.mainlynks.com/profile.php?pro=JosephCostello SNAPCHAT ME ! @sloppyjoeee Business Email : Josephcmusic@hotmai.com
  • Huge Prankster Meet and Greet!!

    admin
    29 Oct 2014 | 3:51 pm
    We will be meeting outside Pink’s Hotdogs in Las Vegas on November 3rd at 7pm.ADDRESS: 3667 Las Vegas Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89109 Pranksters that will be there:JoshPalerLin: https://www.youtube.com/user/JoshPalerLinEpicfivetv: https://www.youtube.com/user/EpicFiveTVLimitnessexp: https://www.youtube.com/user/limitlessEXPRoyal Stampede: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheRoyal…BigdawsTV: https://www.youtube.com/user/BigDawsTvAngryPicnic: https://www.youtube.com/user/AngryPicnic See you there!
  • Meet & Greet Announcement!! Party With Me In Vegas!!

    admin
    29 Oct 2014 | 3:23 pm
    Meet & Greet & Party In Vegas!!! Meet me at Planet Hollywood outside of “Pink’s Hotdogs” at 7PM on Nov 3rd. This is the exact Address: 3667 Las Vegas Blvd SThe Strip Las Vegas, NV 89109 Other pranksters that will be there: Averagebrotv: https://www.youtube.com/user/AverageBroTVBigdawsTV: https://www.youtube.com/user/BigDawsTvAngryPicnic: https://www.youtube.com/user/AngryPicnicEpicfivetv: https://www.youtube.com/user/EpicFiveTVLimitnessexp: https://www.youtube.com/user/limitlessEXPRoyal Stampede: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheRoyalStampede See you guys there!!!!!
  • Slutty Elsa (JACKASK #35)

    admin
    29 Oct 2014 | 3:09 pm
    That workout video with Tony Horton! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx48XxE4agI LIVE CHAT every Wednesday!http://www.younow.com/jacksfilmsTWITTER: https://twitter.com/jacksfilms
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    Chronic Verve

  • 4 Weirdest YouTube Videos - Part 1

    Brian Hayden
    29 Oct 2014 | 7:47 am
    I’d like to open by pointing out how for no apparent reason, the writers of Chronic Verve really seem to have a penchant for writing in lists of 4. We’re not trying to be so non-committal guys, we promise. One day, maybe we’ll write a list of 6, 10 or even 100. The possibilities are endless here at the Verve. Now, after a very long, painstaking journey throughout the internet, I bring you this list of 4 Super Weird YouTube Videos. These videos have all made some aspect of my multi-faceted personality weep at some point or another. So, without further ado, 4 handpicked videos that will…
  • The Vervecast - Episode 2

    Brian Hayden
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:52 pm
    Happy Wednesday Vervians. In this episode we are joined by Chef Nason Scribner, and talk about a new cooking podcast coming to Chronic Verve. Brian & Melissa also compete in a sniffing contest to see who is more likely to be a serial killer. Lonely Japanese weddings, and exorcisms make the cut as well.Episode 2 - 10/29/14 Banana Husbandry, Rubbing Out an Egg, and Psychotic Tendencies
  • 4 Ridiculous Bets that Take Gambling to a New Level

    Brian Hayden
    27 Oct 2014 | 7:50 pm
    Most of us have visited a casino. Some us had fun, and came out with an extra 20$. Most of us got screwed while some shadowy figure upstairs watched you cry, petting his cat. For the most part though, we limited ourselves to the boundaries of what is rational. The next 4 stories take gambling to a new level, where some players struck riches, and some got steamrolled.4.) Selling your wifeSure, some of us may have joked about selling our wives, but Andrei Karpov actually did it. Karpov sat down for a routine poker game, but we should also clarify it was a Russian Poker game. As we have been…
  • The Most hilarious Way to Open a Pomegranate

    Brian Hayden
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:27 pm
    Colton Snow's first expose in what can only be named, The Colton Chronicles. He tackles a pomegranate with Chef Sage.
  • 4 Wrong Ways to Handle your Breakup

    Brian Hayden
    24 Oct 2014 | 2:54 pm
    We've all been there. Whether you've done the breaking upping, or that cruel ax came down on your neck, it's uncomfortable for both parties. For the most part we've all walked away with only some tears, 4 empty tubs of chocolate mint Haagen Daaz, and 3 seasons of Breaking Bad caught up on. Which isn't so bad when you consider you could have been in one of these situations....4.) Gerbil Genocide is Freakishly CommonGerbils. No one really hates gerbils, but can anyone really like them? They kind of lie in that grey area between a goldfish and a bunny. You're just not sure if you should really…
 
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