• Most Topular Stories

  • 13 Accidentally Hilarious Onscreen Moments by Famous Actors

    Cracked: All Posts
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: November 20th, 2014 
  • 3 Nintendo Games That Are Worth Revisiting as an Adult

    Cracked: All Posts
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:00 am
    By Jason Tabrys  Published: November 20th, 2014 
  • 6 Movies That Got Banned by Countries for Hilarious Reasons

    Cracked: All Posts
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:00 am
    By Michael Taylor  Published: November 20th, 2014 
  • Swinger Jokes, Millennials vs Generation Xers edition

    Luggage Tuesdays
    1 Sep 2014 | 3:20 pm
    At a swingers party, a man approached me and said, "Hey! I recognize you from the back of your head."He was right; it was my barber.***A shapely hostess of a swingers party held up an empty fishbowl to all her guests, which consisted of Millennials and one Gen Xer (me). "I will pass this fishbowl to all the men at the party," she said. "I want all the men to put their car keys in the fishbowl. Then I'll pass the fishbowl filled with keys to the ladies and they will pick their partner by selecting a car key." She passed around the fishbowl, and when the fishbowl came back, it was empty."No one…
  • UPDATED: The Church of Bloggessianism. Choose your title, strangelings.

    The Bloggess
    18 Nov 2014 | 8:07 am
    A few weeks ago I was accidentally made the leader of a church which doesn’t actually exist and now we have over 2,000 members.  I’m pretty sure than makes me some sort of Pope so please send me hats. More about that here if you missed it. We decided that it would be nice to have some commandments, but “Commandment” seemed a bit pushy so we’re leaning more toward “Helpful Hints” or “Life Hacks”.  I came up with the first few.  The rest are a few of my favorites you’ve come up with.  Feel free to add your own: Current Life…
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    The Bloggess

  • UPDATED: The Church of Bloggessianism. Choose your title, strangelings.

    18 Nov 2014 | 8:07 am
    A few weeks ago I was accidentally made the leader of a church which doesn’t actually exist and now we have over 2,000 members.  I’m pretty sure than makes me some sort of Pope so please send me hats. More about that here if you missed it. We decided that it would be nice to have some commandments, but “Commandment” seemed a bit pushy so we’re leaning more toward “Helpful Hints” or “Life Hacks”.  I came up with the first few.  The rest are a few of my favorites you’ve come up with.  Feel free to add your own: Current Life…
  • I can’t go for that.

    16 Nov 2014 | 10:45 am
    I’ve never liked the song “I Can’t Go For That“ because this guy seems totally untrustworthy.  I’ve never actually paid attention to all the lyrics but the chorus is telling enough, I think: “I’ll do anything that you want me to.” “Oh.  I’ll do almost anything that you want me to.” “I CAN’T GO FOR THAT.” “No, I…  NO CAN DO.” “ICAN’TGOFORTHAT. ICAN’TGOFORTHAT. I CAN’T GO FOR THAAAAAT!” I’m not sure why he changed so suddenly but it certainly shows…
  • It’s weird. But all the best things are.

    13 Nov 2014 | 10:56 am
    I’ve been super sick for the past few days but I got my voice back today (much to Victor’s chagrin) and the steroids are kicking in but not really enough to write a real post so instead I’m posting this, which I started writing a long time ago but never finished.  It feels undone and not properly tied together, but in a way that makes sense because “unbalanced and disjointed” is a pretty fair description if we’re doing a realistic portrait of me anyway: Remember a few months ago when I said I’d share the rest of the photos that my friend amazingly…
  • Veterans Day

    11 Nov 2014 | 8:52 am
    This morning I watched Hailey sing to the veterans being honored at her school and it was lovely. If you’re a veteran, or a relative of one, I thank you. And a special salute today to Hailey’s grandfather and great-grandfather. My father Victor’s grandfather. Today, there are almost 50,000 homeless veterans in America and over a million  considered at risk of homelessness due to poverty. Hundreds of thousands of veterans have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and there are an increasing number of military families who rely on food stamps.  For ways to help, click…
  • I started writing this post a year ago and I still don’t have a good ending.

    9 Nov 2014 | 8:51 am
    Conversation between me and Victor: me:  Look!  I designed a shirt for us: Victor:  “Procrastinate no“? me:  It was meant to say “PROCRASTINATE NOW” but then I got distracted and never finished it. Victor:  Well, that’s ridiculous. Me:  No, it’s fitting.  Because I’m all, “PROCRASTINATE NOW!” because I’m cool with procrastination.  So cool with it, in fact, that I didn’t even finish the shirt.  But then it also works for you because you hate procrastination, so if you wear it it’s more like:…
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • The Bread To His Butter

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:36 pm
      Submitted by Kelsie The post The Bread To His Butter appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Doh

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:34 pm
      Submitted by Cailyn The post Doh appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • A Little Something

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:32 pm
    My coworker was letting me know about a chart she left on the desk…. Submitted by Claudia The post A Little Something appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • On The Side

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:36 pm
      Submitted by CJ The post On The Side appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • How Is This Breakup Text NOT Autocorrect??

    20 Nov 2014 | 1:59 pm
    The fact that this guy is 30 and only had been dating “the woman he can’t change” for 7 weeks really drives it home. The post How Is This Breakup Text NOT Autocorrect?? appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
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  • Rate My Professor’s Lovemaking by g c cunningham

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:01 am
    Professor William MayhewClass: English Overall Quality: 2.81/2/14: “Mayhew is a horrible professor and makes you feel stupid. Very unhelpful and always blabbing about NPR. His lovemaking was surprisingly lively for his age (he does know a lot), but then won’t stop blabbing about it.”1/10/14: “Avoid at all costs! You think you are doing an amazing job and then he will wipe the floor with your lovemaking. However hard you work, it’s never enough! And he picks favorites!”1/20/14: “Not a smiler, but don’t blame him for this class. It’s a degree requirement…
  • List: Preliminary Report on the Working Group for the Study of Secret Menu Items by Eric Williams

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
    ABSTRACT: The Secret Menu is the finest practical example of Foucault’s “heterotopia” available. It is a perfectly liminal state, a subversive bit of secret knowledge hidden away within the walls of an otherwise carefully prescribed capitalist hegemony. The Secret Menu has no fixed structure in time or place; the same store will offer different unlisted items based on the workers there or the time of day or the availability of raw materials. Each Secret Menu is a catalogue of potentialities, an unwritten list in which the customer, the workers, and the space they share all interact to…
  • Reviews of New Food by Various New Food Tasters

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:00 am
    Estrella’s Double Beef & Onion Potato ChipsSubmitted by Marcus CederströmI walked by the brown bag the last time at the grocery store. I wouldn’t make that mistake again. The stars, lassos, and longhorn cattle skulls staring back at me were just too tempting. It was a tangible piece of America in the desolate social democratic landscape that is Sweden. It felt like home whispering to me, a slow and steady chant of U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! fighting through the deluge of world-class, state-subsidized education and healthcare.Fifteen minutes later, I was back on my couch with a bag of…
  • The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment II by Justin Jee

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:01 am
    In a delayed-gratification experiment, kids were given a choice: Eat one marshmallow now, or wait fifteen minutes and receive two marshmallows. On follow up, kids who waited fifteen minutes for two marshmallows went on to obtain higher SAT scores, more respect in adolescence, and higher educational status.In a follow-up experiment, we told kids that they would get one additional marshmallow for every fifteen minutes they waited. Some kids waited fifteen minutes. Others waited thirty. Some kids waited for three hours, four hours. We fed them meals throughout the day as per university…
  • My Own Private Shock Corridor: The Birth of Nihilism and the Vaporization of Morals by Bob Schneider

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
    The first screenplay I wrote that fostered in me the delusive hope that I might one day bring myself to the attention of the league1 was titled Freaks like Us. The movie climaxes when boy gets girl against the backdrop of spaced-out chaos, the result of our hero having dosed the campus dining hall bug-juice supply with tincture of ’shroom juice and so unsuspectingly tripping out the ROTC, who are celebrating their graduation with some raucous let’s-away-to-the Nam-and-kill-us-some-gooks enthusiasm.You can then imagine my surprise when people fed me back, telling me that this ending was…
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    I Can Has Cheezburger?

  • A Few Celebrity Quotes About Cats

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:00 pm
    We all knew Taylor Swift was a Cat Lady already. Submitted by: (via cut video) Tagged: quotes , Celebrity Edition , Cats , Video Share on Facebook
  • What Do You Do When Your Turtle's Shell Is Itchy?

    20 Nov 2014 | 1:00 pm
    Obviously, you help him scratch it. Not every animal is as clever as Baloo. Submitted by: (via Crystal Sanders) Tagged: cute , itch , turtle , Video Share on Facebook
  • For Technologically Advanced Cats Only

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:00 pm
    All the technologically advanced kitties are going to be busy today with Cheezburger's new iOS app. It features our newest gif builder, so you and your kitty can now make and remix your gifs into collages, adding stickers, text and doodles! Stop reading and start filling the internet with moar cat gifs now! LoL by: (via New Cheezburger iOS App) Tagged: gif , technology , kitten , Cats Share on Facebook
  • Relationship Goals

    20 Nov 2014 | 11:00 am
    Submitted by: (via Hermes2611) Tagged: naked , wtf , Cats , funny , g rated , dating Share on Facebook
  • It's Never Too Early To Watch Hamsters Devour a Tiny Thanksgiving Meal

    20 Nov 2014 | 10:00 am
    Submitted by: (via HelloDenizen) Tagged: thanksgiving , cute , hamsters , food , eating , Video Share on Facebook
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    ABlog the Author

  • A belated deep deep bow to our own Toast in the Machine....

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:19 pm
    …who scored a rare back-to-back freelance monologue closer on the show Wednesday. Couple of absolute honeys…. Charles Manson is getting married. He’s 80-years-old and she’s 26. They met on the dating site OK Stupid.  And if you’re looking to get the couple a wedding gift, they’re registered at Bloodbath and Beyond.
  • YouTube alert: Mr. Media with the author....

    19 Nov 2014 | 6:36 am
  • No make-up person, sadly, but Bob Andelman did a lovely job...

    19 Nov 2014 | 6:35 am
    No make-up person, sadly, but Bob Andelman did a lovely job having a serious Skyped conversation with me about my book. 
  • Archive Sunday (from August 2001): Introduction to "101 Damnations...."

    16 Nov 2014 | 7:13 pm
    (NOTE: Michael Rosen, the editor from Thurber House who was kind enough to include my essays in his first and third humor collections, “Mirth of a Nation” and “May Contain Nuts,” reached out to me somewhere in the middle of the two compilations with what I thought was a high high concept: Humor writers giving their version of Hell. What “101 Damnations” turned out to be was writers writing about things that pissed them off, like bread ties or customer service people. But I took the assignment literally. To the point where I thought the assignment was a…
  • This is why he is who he is....

    15 Nov 2014 | 9:42 am
    A couple of weeks ago, at some giant cancer benefit, there were a lot of comics on the bill, including Gilbert Gottfried. They introduce Gilly, he comes out, and this is what he opens with: "I’m telling you, we are having such a good time backstage. All the comics who never get to see each other. Reminiscing, telling stories, catching up, having laughs. I hope they NEVER find a cure for cancer!"
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    Predator Press

  • Black Knight Satellite

    Michael Wolfe
    13 Nov 2014 | 4:17 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press  J.J. Abrams' concept art of "R2D2" blows chunks.  
  • Falala Banana

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Oct 2014 | 4:57 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press A little research unearthed all I needed to know about my regional manager, Falala Banana.  Miss Banana is feared company-wide, and mostly because she can rip Capri pants with her calves Hulk-style at will.  She is reputed to have killed underperforming employees with her toes. But it turns out we have history. Back in 2006, I met Mohamed "Chainsaw" Miller, a twenty-seven year old a six foot six behemoth, and a rabid football fan. "Why aren't you in the NFL?" I asked. He stared down at me for a second, thinking carefully. "I never ate me no human…
  • Internet Swag

    Michael Wolfe
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO]
  • The Four Corners

    Michael Wolfe
    11 Oct 2014 | 9:43 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] Disposing of my junk mail and shredded bills to prevent identity theft. At great expense to me, I fly Destry Dentin, DDS, from London to Sydney, Australia to destroy most of it.  Those guys can butcher the hell out of our fine American language, and oddly understand each other.  I am confident all relevant information will be promptly lost. But Albert Dente can be a little more complicated. "Yes I threw the crap into Mordor." "Wait," I says into the speakerphone.  "You were supposed to throw that stuff into Mount Doom." "That…
  • Alchemy

    Michael Wolfe
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:36 pm
    -LOBO Predator Press Many immolated themselves. Many jumped from tall buildings. Many immolated themselves, then jumped from tall buildings. -But I am having a hard time keeping up with life events. In the meantime I will be occasionally appearing at the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League. I'll be back.  I promise.
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • George Clooney Thinks He Should Be 'Sexiest Man Of The Year'

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:31 pm
    George Clooney Thinks He Should Be 'S... Chris Hemsworth was recently named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive," and George Clooney is upset he lost the crown. Submitted by: zpoitras Regular Keywords: george clooney chris hemsworth sexy sex people magazine sexiest man of the year cover funny jokes haha lol people magazine people magazine clooney people magazine hemsworth sexiest man 2014 sexiest man alive 2014 Views: 6,565
  • Pete Holmes, Ron Funches, Steve Rannazzisi - Vine-Os - @midnight

    20 Nov 2014 | 1:18 am
    Pete Holmes, Ron Funches, Steve Ranna... 2:32 Pete Holmes, Ron Funches and Steve Rannazzisi translate the drunken babblings of some hard partiers caught on Vine. Submitted by: atmidnight Regular Keywords: Chris Hardwick @midnight at midnight After Midnight Nerdist @midnight full episodes Pete Holmes Ron Funches Steve Rannazzisi Vine drunk partying alcohol translations hip hop music drunken vines comedy central Views: 1,386
  • When Is The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? A Guide To The Mexican Drug Protests

    Melinda Taub
    19 Nov 2014 | 12:43 pm
    When Is The Victoria's Secret Fashion... If you googled “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show,” congratulations: We’re here to tell you all about the Mexican protest movement against corruption and drug violence. Submitted by: Melinda Taub Regular Keywords: Victoria's Secret Victoria's Secret models Victoria's Secret Fashion Show when is the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show breasts boobs sex xxx Iguala ya me canse not what you think fashion show victoria victoria secret victorias secret angel victoria's secret angels victoria's secret bra…
  • Do You Want To See How Guy Fieri Would Look Without His Signature Hairstyle?

    Jenny Nelson
    19 Nov 2014 | 5:56 am
    Do You Want To See How Guy Fieri Woul... Guy Fieri with a more statistically average hairstyle! Submitted by: Jenny Nelson Regular Keywords: Guy Fieri Guy Fieri hair Guy Fieri hairstyle Guy Fieri frosted tips Guy Fieri normal Guy Fieri normal hair Celebrity Chefs Food Network Diners Drive-Ins and Drives DDDs Fieri normcore Guy Fieri without frosted tips frosted tips hair bleach goatee beards facial hair celebrities twitter photoshop Views: 27,241
  • Throwing Shade #67: Dumb & Dumber & Fox News

    18 Nov 2014 | 6:43 pm
    Throwing Shade #67: Dumb & Dumber & F... 15:20 Bryan just got back from Texas, where he watched nothing but Fox News and the trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey. Also, gay men aren't totally banned from giving blood anymore and Old Navy is over-charging plus-size ladies for their jeans. Which is not so fair and balanced. Listen to the full episode here: Submitted by: chris_singel Regular Keywords: Throwing Shade throw shade erin gibson bryan safi podcast listening listen recorded recording texas fox news fifty shades of…
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    vintage everyday

  • Le Dôme Café, Montparnasse, Paris, 1928

    John VE
    21 Nov 2014 | 12:22 am
    Photo by Andre Kertesz.
  • Marilyn Monroe’s Handwritten Turkey-and-Stuffing Recipe

    John VE
    20 Nov 2014 | 11:49 am
    If you happen to be a huge fan of the legendary Marilyn Monroe and also love cooking, here is a handwritten checklist by Marilyn for the Thanksgiving Day.In detail, Marilyn explained how she prepared a turkey dinner, with all of the extras. The notes, which feature in Fragments, a collection of her letters and musings from 1943 to her death in 1962, show that Marilyn had a passion for cooking.It has to be noted that Marilyn Monroe has written two cookbooks in the 1950s, which were sold off at an auction of her personal effects in 1999.The recipe is dated around 1955 or 1956 when…
  • Rare Color Photos of Life inside Berlin's Marienfelde Refugee Transit Camp in 1961

    John VE
    20 Nov 2014 | 10:23 am
    Marienfelde refugee transit camp in Marienfelde, Berlin, was one of three camps operated by West Germany during the cold war for dealing with the great waves of immigration from East Germany, especially between 1950 and 1961. Refugees arriving in West Berlin were sent to the center where they received medical treatment, food, identification papers, and housing until they could be permanently re-settled in the West. Here's a collection of rare color photographs inside Berlin's Marienfelde refugee transit camp were taken in September 1961.See more »
  • Two young girls in swimming suit doing a trick shot, ca. 1930s

    John VE
    20 Nov 2014 | 8:45 am
  • Street Scenes of London in the 1960s

    John VE
    20 Nov 2014 | 7:30 am
    A small collection of wonderful color of street scenes of London in the 1960sSee more »
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    View from the Cloud

  • Changes in Latitudes

    14 Nov 2014 | 7:32 am
    Ooh... nothing like a vague story in the local paper to gin up the rumor mill!  Well then, I guess this would be a good time for an update.  It's really quite simple... In January, Charli and I are going to Connecticut for 3 months to house sit for some people we've never met before.  There, that should clear things up.What's that... not really?Alright, if you really must pry (we must, we must!)Here's the scoop. Because my job allows for me to work remotely, I have the freedom to basically work from anywhere there is an internet connection. AND, because all our kids are gone,…
  • Talk about getting it ass backwards

    9 Jan 2013 | 6:24 pm
    This is an absolutely true story, and it absolutely happened to me this morning I had been in the conference for 3 1/2 hours before they finally called lunch break, and I desperately needed to "go," if you know what I mean. And to make matters worse, I had already commuted 2 hours prior to that - so it was time.  I was ready.I was the first one out of the meeting room and into the bathroom, just ahead of the 10 or so other guys behind me. I knew if I didn't make a move I would have to wait in line and that was NOT an option at this point. So I saddled up to one of two urinals, unzipped…
  • 20 year old rappers on ice

    26 Nov 2012 | 1:45 pm
    Yesterday I had this Facebook exchange with a friend of mine, after he posted this picture of rapper Ice Cube on a soda fountain ice dispenser (who I thought was Ice-T, hence the HI-larious "coco" comment).So, as a result of my inexcusable ignorance, I got called out for not being up on my Ice rappers. Can you imagine?This, of course, was all in jest, as my friend doesn't REALLY think I'm an ignoram-ice. But his jab did cause me to Google the frozen rapper community to see who else was using this extra-cool moniker.  Of course I had heard of Ice Cube, Ice-T and Vanilla Ice, but what…
  • What would happen if...

    10 Nov 2012 | 5:24 am
    ... I wrote a tiny little blog post?Would anyone notice?And if they did, would it inspire me to write ANOTHER post the week after that? And then another and another until eventually I was writing posts every other day like I did for over 4 years at one point?Interesting question.
  • "Well, I have an ingrown nail and terrible gas right now, but otherwise not too bad."

    30 Mar 2012 | 1:07 pm
    Is it just me, or have we gotten ourselves into a greeting rut as a society? Take this exchange for example. How many times have you been in this conversation?You: "Hey Ted, how ya doing?"Ted: "Good, how are you?"You: "Great, thanks!"(silence)You: "So, what have you been up to?"Ted: "Not much, how 'bout you?"You: "Oh - not too much."You and Ted: (acknowledging nod)Brilliant, ain't it?Now, just for fun, try to get through your day tomorrow and NOT have this conversation with someone. I promise you, it's not as easy as it sounds.Seriously... does anyone say anything other than some version of…
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    Jokes -!

  • Dinner Lady: "Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin." ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 8:59 pm
    Dinner Lady: "Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin."Pupil: "But I don't want green skin!"
  • A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:59 pm
    A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a muffin while her dad gets a haircut.The barber smiles at her and says: "Your gonna get hair on your muffin!""I know" she says "im gonna get tits too you dirty old bastard!"
  • Press any key! ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:59 pm
    Press any key!No! no! no! NOT THAT ONE!
  • A blonde walks into a shop and gets one of the staff to help her find a TV. She ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 8:59 am
    A blonde walks into a shop and gets one of the staff to help her find a TV. She finds one and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"Blonde: "Wait here!" She runs of, dyes her hair black and comes back in and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"Now the blonde is getting confused so she goes and dyes her hair red and comes back in and says: "Can I buy that TV please?"Staff guy: "No I don't serve blondes!"Blonde: "Why do you keep on calling me a blonde?"Staff guy: "Because that's not a TV that's a microwave!"
  • After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:59 am
    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight," he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • Join Me for the Scandal Winter Finale Pordee Tonight on Spreecast

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:28 pm
    Tonight is ABC’s #TGIT lineup winter finale, and most importantly, Scandal will be done for the year. What this means is that Shonda is going to snatch every edge we all have left and we’re going to need to get on a regimen of Jamaican castor oil temple rubs to grow them back. Every time Scandal ends, she comes for us. EVERY TIME. So I’ma need some support from my fellow Gladiators during this tough time. I will need to talk about whatever happens on Scandal TONIGHT to deal with my PTSD (Post-traumatic Shonda Disorder). That is why I’ll be having a Scandal pordee…
  • Solange Has Won at Weddining

    16 Nov 2014 | 6:56 pm
    Today, Solange Knowles got married to her longtime LAVAH Alan Ferguson in New Orleans and pictures dropped and everyone has lost their minds. Why? BECAUSE SO MUCH FIERCENESS! Looking like the angels in the thug mansion that Tupac was talmbout. I’m so here for this picture. *I* wanna get Solange’s wedding photo with her girls and put it on my wall. Just because the pic is so damb magnificent. WERK, FIERCE ANGELS. And Tina. BIIIISSSHHH listen. Coming out the house looking like a tall drink of good almond milk. SLAY, Mama Knowles! Sixty years old and FINER than frog hair. Meanwhile,…
  • #LifetimeBiopics and #LifetimeBeLike are the Hashtags You Need After the Aaliyah Movie

    15 Nov 2014 | 8:55 pm
    The Aaliyah biopic on Lifetime happened tonight and I missed it but it’s coming on again so I’ll DVR to watch tomorrow. Anywho, folks say it’s so bad that the word “bad” is offended that it’s even associated with the movie. And to think. The Whitney Houston biopic is still coming and we ALREADY see how that’s shaping up. Twitter is GREAT for times like this because to cope with mass disappointment and terrible things, we joke. AND OH THE JOKES! The memes won’t stop coming. There are levels to the Aint Shitness on Twitter and all those levels…
  • Who is the Grandest Goon? Rowan Pope, Frank Underwood or Gus Fring?

    15 Nov 2014 | 5:50 pm
    3 of the most binge-watch worthy shows on television in the last 4 years gotta be Breaking Bad, Scandal and House of Cards. Many a weekend have been lost in front of NetFlix, watching episodes back-to-back because those shows are thrilling. But all three shows are also amazing because they have some of the most cold-blooded, calculating, and callous villains in TV history. Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad), Rowan Eli Pope (Scandal) and Francis Underwood (House of Cards) are three of the most conniving bastards this side of the Equator. All three of them give so few dambs that they actually OWE…
  • The Last Supper: Scandal Episode 408 Recap

    14 Nov 2014 | 8:09 am
    Take all my edges then, Scandal. I don’t need them. I’ll just wear visors more often. Let’s talk about this episode. The Petty Triangle – The three non-amigos are in the bunker trying to figure out what their next move needs to be now that Fitz knows Jake is innocent. Second Fiddle is pissed that his old friend didn’t believe him before and when Fitz calls him Jake, he tells him he better call him Captain Ballard since they don’t go together no more as friends. He expects that he can leave but the other 2 tell him that it makes sense for him to stay in there because if…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • Contagious But Organized

    19 Nov 2014 | 6:00 am
    Ever have the type of stomach virus that renders every poor schmuck that comes to your door a potential caretaker? “I just threw up so hard toilet water splashed up and hit my face and I pooped in my shorts, what should I do?” I asked, holding a towel to my cheek.(...)Read the rest of Contagious But Organized (554 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • A Few of My Favorite (Winter) Things

    11 Nov 2014 | 5:41 am
    You know that smell? It’s chilly and windy and the air smells cold, like something fierce is coming? I love winter. Not just for the carb-filled food and warm and fuzzy holidays, but for the tall boots, jeans, and a much needed break from crotch sweat. I can finally pull out all my absolute beauty and fashion favorites, and enjoy them in cool temperatures, with no sticking, clinging or irritated rubbing. (...)Read the rest of A Few of My Favorite (Winter) Things (747 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any…
  • I Didn’t Write a Book

    4 Nov 2014 | 6:38 am
    Writing about writing is a big huge giant meta wormhole, and it might not appeal to absolutely anyone reading this, but should some desperate author one day google something like “how to write a book, no seriously, please help me?” I hope this post helps them to not feel so utterly, utterly alone and stupid. You see, writing a book gave me a brain tumor.(...)Read the rest of I Didn’t Write a Book (1,138 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written…
  • Raising Geeks

    27 Oct 2014 | 8:55 am
    Growing up, I wanted to have two kids. A boy named Josh and a girl named Mercedes. Josh would naturally be the big man on campus, and when I say that, imagine me saying it the way your grandmother says it when she asks you about school. “How’s school, Josh? I assume you’re the big man on campus like your father?” Josh’s father in this scenario being Dr. Peter Venkman or Jonathon Brandis. Mercedes would be a popular genius/cheerleader. She’d be involved in dance and gymnastics and all those adorable extracurriculars my parents could never financially swing.
  • Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready!

    10 Oct 2014 | 7:54 am
    Tickets for the August 2015 session of Camp Throwback are on sale!(...)Read the rest of Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready! (43 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
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    Boondock Ramblings

  • The Advantages of Selecting Branded Water as Promotional Products

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:00 am
    Various marketing methods are utilized by lots of people in marketing their business. If you are searching for an economical approach to market any event, item, or business, then take advantage of using branded water or promotional bottled water. No matter what kind of event or business enterprise you are attempting to promote, having promotional branded water is definitely an excellent idea. First and foremost, unbranded water lets you deliver a strong brand message on a bottle of safe water. Your organized event or custom water brand will have a good aura through the help of white label…
  • All the Things You must know about Facebook Page Management

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:31 am
    Certainly, the competition is not simple among numerous businesses on the web. Due to this, it is crucial to establish a great reputation among them. Businesses are making the most of social network sites for their products and services, especially that these channels have a tremendous audience excellent for marketing. In all of the social networking websites of today, Facebook stands as the most famous. In a social media website like Facebook, almost all of the people in the world are actively online. This is an ideal avenue for companies to market their product to their target audience and…
  • What can a Spanish Tutor London Do for You?

    17 Nov 2014 | 11:36 pm
    London is among the list of the countries with the fastest growing economy. It is also where greater firms are found. With regards to effectively achieving business goals, Spanish and English languages have become the most crucial tools in getting in touch with the customers, colleagues and business partners or simply in improving career opportunities. Lots of individuals speak Spanish well. It is always an additional perk to know the Spanish language to correctly communicate both professionally and personally. This is why you need the help of language teachers London, or specifically Spanish…
  • Promotional Bottled Water: A Cost-Effective Advertising Method

    5 Nov 2014 | 9:47 pm
    When it comes to advertising, every business might create a creative way of getting the interest of many. Moreover, it ought to be something memorable and useful. Well, giving promotional products will be a great thing for this endeavor. Generally, companies utilize promotional bottled water. When there’s an occasion or gathering exactly where a lot of individuals are there to find out precisely what your business is about, utilizing customized branded water will greatly boost your business’ recognition. Individuals will definitely utilize the promotional branded water since it is a very…
  • Aerial Photography and Aerial Videography – Knowing Well about Them

    4 Nov 2014 | 10:18 pm
    The act of taking and processing pictures is known as photography. Moreover, there are just few individuals who can take photos wonderfully. It is vital to take photos in the perfect angle as it is the sole option for you to develop impressive pictures. The same goes with videography or the act of recording videos. Interest in aerial photography and aerial videography is a thing typical to photographers and videographers. This kind of photography is done by taking pictures and recording videos off the ground. Nowadays, you can see lots of wonderful video clips and pictures on the web. Videos…
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pozo and Mr. Savage

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Nov 2014 | 10:09 am
    They lived on the margins of society as a travelling entertainment act. A classic clown-and-baboon show, in the old Czech style. They had terrorized a generation of Eastern European children. Pozo the Clown (once known to his family and a … Continue reading →
  • Selected Media Fads Through the Ages

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Nov 2014 | 4:45 am
    24,000-22,000 BC: chunky fertility goddess statues (pictured at right: notice the prominent and large brains.) 10,000 BC: cave painting 4,000 BC: ziggurat construction 3,000-1,250 BC: pyramid raising (later revived by Mesoamericans and I.M. Pei) 1480-1700: Witch burning 1500s: homoerotic sonnet … Continue reading →
  • The Tyranny and Creativity of a Word Count

    Mark A. Rayner
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    On the other hand, a really specific (short) word limit can force one to be more creative and improve the text. I love the Blaise Pascal quote: “This letter is very long because I did not have time to make … Continue reading →
  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
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  • “Absurdity Day” and “Air Your Dirty Laundry Day” Haiku (Nov. 20)

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:56 pm
    In honor of “Absurdity Day” and “Air Your Dirty Laundry Day,” here’s a pair of haiku: “Absurdity Day” How is this day different from all other days? I don’t celebrate “Air Your Dirty Laundry Day” Because it’s a wash.
  • Limerick Ode To “Homemade Bread Day” (Nov. 17)

    17 Nov 2014 | 6:57 pm
    Limerick Ode To Homemade Bread Day By Madeleine Begun Kane It is Homemade Bread Day, but don’t make me. Even future bread begs, “Please don’t bake me!” I’m not good with a stove; Don’t know clover, from clove. In the kitchen my brain cells forsake me.
  • Limerick Ode To National Unfriend Day (Nov. 17)

    17 Nov 2014 | 12:33 pm
    Limerick Ode To National Unfriend Day By Madeleine Begun Kane Do Internet pests take their toll And play an insidious role In your Facebooking life? You can deal with such strife: Just unfriend all those trolls. Take control!
  • Light Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

    15 Nov 2014 | 9:00 pm
    It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s winner.) How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.) I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So…
  • Limerick of the Week (189)

    15 Nov 2014 | 8:55 pm
    It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BYRON IVES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: His feathery ass was at stake, And about to get reamed in the lake: “Get off of my back, You near-sighted quack. I’m not a damn hen, I’m a drake!” And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Jon Gearhart, Allen Wilcox, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention…
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  • Bossy Explains Seasonal Depression

    3 Nov 2014 | 10:50 am
    Seasonal Depression — otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder — is a depressive disorder occurring only specific times of year, such as winter. Typical symptoms of Seasonal Depression include lack of energy, tiredness, sleepiness, and oversleeping with a side order of naps. Other symptoms include decreased focus, difficulty concentrating, and what was Bossy saying? Oh yes, Seasonal Depression. People who suffer from Seasonal Depression often withdraw. Most often that withdrawal is from an ATM machine to pay for the wine that will combat the shift in mood because we all know…
  • In Honor Of Ken Burns’ Series The Roosevelts

    15 Sep 2014 | 5:51 am
    Last night Bossy watched the Ken Burns’ series on PBS, The Roosevelts, which is to say Bossy and her mother and her daughter were ignoring the show and talking about boys. But when Bossy did turn her attention to the television, everything sounded vaguely familiar, as if Bossy had written a book about the Roosevelts herself. And then Bossy remembered she did write a book about the Roosevelts, dressed as a blog post answering the question: What if the Roosevelts were around today? To help with that task, Bossy turned to Facebook. You see, this was Franklin Roosevelt: Franklin Roosevelt…
  • Farewell Dear Stella

    2 Sep 2014 | 6:02 pm
    Mere hours before daybreak and an appointment that would have decided things for her, Stella shut off her own light. She did it with grace and dignity, on her terms, at the Bossy family house with her people lying on the floor around her. Ironically it was a woman named Kitty who was responsible for Bossy’s Great Dane. It was 2005 and the Bossy family had just lost their aging dog to cancer. This prompted Bossy to launch what she calls the research process, even though Bossy’s mom refers to it as good as done. Bossy had always wanted a giant dog, which are hard to come by in mutt…
  • How Bossy Spent Her Summer Vacation – And The Two Years Leading Up To It

    28 Aug 2014 | 11:25 am
    Hello, and welcome to I Am Bossy, a humor blog without the blog posts! Luckily the blog is still funny. Even if currently written and archived entirely within the confines of Bossy’s own head! Bossy hasn’t been writing lately because of the following items, in no particular order except from most important to even more important: Working. Bossy has been working full time at an Institutional Investment Firm. If you don’t understand what Bossy could possibly provide in skills to an Institutional Investment Firm, you are not alone! In fact you are joined by Bossy, along with…
  • Explaining Stuff To Aliens: How To Tell Time

    22 May 2014 | 10:19 am
    You see we have these things called clocks and no one looks at them because we have phones. Yes phones are for talking to people who aren’t there, but they’re also for telling time. No you don’t actually tell time anything, but rather telling time is the process of knowing what time it is. And you know what time it is because you look at a clock. Shall we begin? Clocks have numbers on them. Except sometimes they don’t: And each number represents an hour which is one hour long. An hour takes an hour, which is also sixty minutes. A minute takes a minute and is made up of…
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for November 21, 2014

    20 Nov 2014 | 10:00 pm
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  • Comic for November 20, 2014

    19 Nov 2014 | 10:00 pm
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  • Comic for November 19, 2014

    18 Nov 2014 | 10:00 pm
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  • Comic for November 18, 2014

    17 Nov 2014 | 10:00 pm
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  • Comic for November 17, 2014

    16 Nov 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to
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    CAP News

  • Dems Propose Using Jobless To Carry Oil From Canada To Texas

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:29 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - Following the defeat of the Keystone XL initiative to run an oil pipeline from Canada down to the Texas coast, Democrats have offered a counter proposal that involves hiring unemployed Americans to create a human conveyor belt and pass buckets of oil one by one right down through the middle of the country to the Gulf. Democrats approve their own plan. "We know the Republicans plan to push the oil pipeline through when they take control of the Senate in January," said Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who championed the proposal. "We're just hoping to put an alternative in place…
  • TV Watching At All-Time Low Among Homeless Children

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:45 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - While the overall numbers of homeless children in America are staggering, the statistics surrounding how they spend their leisure time are encouraging. New research shows that a smaller number of homeless kids are watching television than ever before. "And because there are so many homeless kids and so few of them watch TV, that means the overall number of children watching TV is way down," said Dr. Francis Spitznagel of the Pew Research Center. "And since numbers do tell the whole story, that's great news." Spitznagel noted that typically with less TV watching comes more…
  • Newest HBO Series To Feature Swearing, Breasts

    18 Nov 2014 | 3:56 am
    NEW YORK (CAP) - HBO is touting a new drama series that executives say will "break new ground" in the realm of swearing and showing women's breasts. "There will be a lot of F-words," promised HBO Vice President of Programming Mitch Frankel. "And if there's an occasion to show a woman taking her shirt off, or not wearing a shirt, or putting a shirt on when she previously had not been wearing one, this show will be taking advantage of that." The yet-to-be-titled series will star an actor who was critically acclaimed in the '90s but who hasn't had a hit recently, and feature several talented…
  • Bill Would Ban Masturbating While Driving

    17 Nov 2014 | 4:21 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - The habits of thousands of American drivers could be changing as early as next year if paperwork filed by Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) can gain traction in the Senate. The proposed bill would ban two-handed masturbation while behind the wheel. "You need at least one hand to operate a motor vehicle," Inhofe told the Washington Post. "And if you can't take care of the rest of your business with just one hand, then perhaps you shouldn't be driving." While Inhofe's proposal would ban only two-handed masturbation, others say they would like to see an outright ban on self-pleasurement…
  • Scientists Successfully Land Probe In Kim Kardashian's Cleavage

    14 Nov 2014 | 4:11 am
    DARMSTADT, Germany (CAP) - Fresh off of their successful launch of a probe onto Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, German scientists have broken through the other final frontier by successfully landing a probe in between Kim Kardashian's voluminous breasts. They acknowledged a lower than average difficulty level given the size of the target area. "Brumski! We've been fantasizing about this moment ever since her spread in The Economist," said XYZ. "We know we're boldly going where many men have gone before, but it's nice to be part of the inner circle." The probe has already begun sending back…
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    Jokes -!

  • Psychiatrist: "What's your problem?

    20 Nov 2014 | 10:59 pm
    Psychiatrist: "What's your problem?"Patient: "I think I'm a chicken."Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
  • How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    20 Nov 2014 | 8:59 pm
    How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?1) None. Feminists can't change anything.2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
  • Two friends, who had lost contact for many years, were catching up with each ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:59 pm
    Two friends, who had lost contact for many years, were catching up with each other. One asked, "So, you've got your own company, huh? How lucky!" The other replied, "Just a small one, nothing to be proud of."Disbelieving, the first queried, "Small? How many people work in your company?"The other sadly answered, "About half of them."
  • One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:59 pm
    One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?""No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
  • A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. ...

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees."I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong."Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
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    Buffet o' Blog

  • 2014 National Cheese Dip Competition

    Buffet o' Blog
    11 Nov 2014 | 6:30 am
    A couple of the Buffet o’ Blog staff attended the National Cheese Dip Competition this year.  Let me just say it was AWESOME!  And let me also add that next time attendance is required for all Buffet o’ Blog staff — just because you don’t want to miss it. Perhaps I should quantify my opinion.  It wasn’t like a carnival or state fair — there were a few side activities and music, but the primary event was trying lots of different cheese dip recipes.  If that sounds like a good time to you, then you should definitely go. There were around 15 entries in the…
  • car commercial with Bo & Luke Duke

    Buffet o' Blog
    13 Jun 2014 | 2:41 pm
    I realize many people don’t watch TV commercials anymore, or at least try to avoid them.  Many commercials are dumb and annoying.  However, every once in a while someone creates an awesome commercial, and the one below may be the best commercial of all-time.  The premise is AutoTrader helping Bo and Luke Duke find a new car. If you aren’t familiar with the characters, they’re from The Dukes of Hazzard, which was an awesome TV show of the ’80s that you should check out.  It was much better than the movies. And there’s no way they’d replace the General…
  • funny pictures, episode 17

    Buffet o' Blog
    25 Mar 2014 | 1:35 pm
    It’s been a while since I’ve posted funny pictures, so it’s way overdue.  Plus, the first one has relevance based on current world events, if you’ve heard about Russia’s “takeover” of Crimea (part of the Ukraine).  Then there’s the usual randomness. That’s a unique perspective on Russia’s position these days… They’re right… I don’t understand. Anyone care to explain? That is actually a great idea! Granted, most people would cancel their membership instead, but the concept is great… in theory.
  • Einstein, ACME, and science

    Buffet o' Blog
    20 Jan 2014 | 1:26 pm
    A while back I read an article about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), and it had a few statistics that seem somewhat embellished to me.  Now, I’m no scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  And because of the anonymity of the Internet, I could be the smartest person in the room (as far you know).  Whether any of that is factual or not is largely irrelevant to this discussion, because we’re going to have fun with it.  Let’s get started, shall we? Winding the solenoid coil of the CMS [Compact Muon Solenoid] took five years to complete. When it is fully…
  • Why would you say that?!?

    Buffet o' Blog
    9 Jan 2014 | 7:03 am
    I was recently visiting the in-laws around Christmas, and the conversation took an unexpected turn.  One person was telling a story they heard on the local news about a couple who were burning trash outside their house but went inside, leaving the fire unattended, and their house caught on fire.  That’s a tragic story, but they learned some “common sense” the hard way.  Anyway, there’s no need to rant on that, since the moral of the story is quite obvious. After that part of the story, an older country woman said, somewhat agitatedly, “Why were they burning…
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    Luggage Tuesdays

  • Hack List November 2014

    31 Oct 2014 | 8:05 am
    Here's what's hacky for November 2014:Take the Pepsi Challenge. Drink Pepsi in public.Be a Pepper. Drink, wonder what happened (Sydney Pepper only).Tax soda drinkers for every loud sip, slurp, burp, or satisfied sigh made in public.Tax soda drinkers for explaining how diet soda works.Take the Pepper Challenge. Cheer up Sydney Pepper.
  • Hack List October 2014

    31 Oct 2014 | 12:47 am
    Here's what's hacky during October 2014:Calling a Standing Ovation a "Standing O;"Calling a Standing O a "S.O."Calling a S.O. a "So."Calling a So a "Sh."Calling a Sh a "..."Calling a ... a "... ..."
  • Hack List September 2014

    30 Oct 2014 | 7:57 am
    Here's what hacky during September 2014:Eating stupid potato chips.Judging potato chip eaters.No resolutions.
  • Swinger Jokes, Millennials vs Generation Xers edition

    1 Sep 2014 | 3:20 pm
    At a swingers party, a man approached me and said, "Hey! I recognize you from the back of your head."He was right; it was my barber.***A shapely hostess of a swingers party held up an empty fishbowl to all her guests, which consisted of Millennials and one Gen Xer (me). "I will pass this fishbowl to all the men at the party," she said. "I want all the men to put their car keys in the fishbowl. Then I'll pass the fishbowl filled with keys to the ladies and they will pick their partner by selecting a car key." She passed around the fishbowl, and when the fishbowl came back, it was empty."No one…
  • Hack List August 2014

    23 Aug 2014 | 7:40 am
    Quaalude addiction.Making a delicious cocktail out of rye and gin.Calling hand sanitizer "hand sanny" but it's a moot point because you're a werewolf and it's a full moon! Run! Run from your destiny!
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  • Is this a tanning booth or a barnyard stall?

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:36 pm
    Writes Joanna in Pennsylvania: “Following (apparently) more than one incident in which a customer “relieved” themselves in the stand up tanning booths in my town, this signage was posted in every tanning booth. Because, ya know, people need to be reminded to not just randomly crap themselves every time they get naked.” Adds Joanna: ” Yes, I asked an employee and the incidents in question involved #2!” If it makes you feel any better, Joanna, it turns out your problem is far from unique to south central PA.   related: On preparing a hide for tanning
  • So that’s what they mean by “makes mouths happy”

    16 Nov 2014 | 2:25 pm
    Karen in Council Bluffs, Iowa spotted this unsigned note taped to the vending machine in the office breakroom. It sounds like somebody certainly got their 75 cents worth, no? related: Raging against the (vending) machine
  • High Street high jinks

    9 Nov 2014 | 2:40 pm
    Writes our submitter from London: “I can only imagine the local politics that brought about this pre-Christmas gem of a note in the historic town if Lewes, England.” Any Lewes locals out there who could shed some light on this light-box snub? related: Fish fingers and custard then, yeah?
  • This kind of attitude is what’s really scary.

    4 Nov 2014 | 5:51 pm
    Writes Derek from Ohio: “I found this on an anthropological blog I follow and thought it would fit great on your site.” I agree, Derek, I agree! related: No candy go away! extra credit: Do I have to give candy to poor kids? []
  • Neighbors too loud? The Police can handle it.

    27 Oct 2014 | 2:19 pm
    This one speaks for itself, no? (Thanks to our submitter, Bonnie in Edinburgh.) related: A review of last night’s performance
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  • Raiders’ Ridiculous Excessive Celebration Almost Costs Them Their First Win

    Jorge Alonso
    21 Nov 2014 | 12:03 am
    NFL Network On third and six for the Chiefs with under a minute left and the Raiders barely holding on to a 24-20 lead, Sio Moore sacked Alex Smith for a 7-yard loss and then began celebrating with Khalil Mack 13 yards behind the line of scrimmage, forgetting that the Kansas City Chiefs had no timeouts and had to run a hurry up. Luckily for Mack and Moore, justin Tuck was able to call a timeout before Alex Smith was able to snap the ball and the Raiders were able to avoid a penalty and complete embarrassment.
  • Derek Carr Throws Game-Winning Touchdown, Celebrates Like He Won The SuperBowl

    Jorge Alonso
    20 Nov 2014 | 8:43 pm
    NFL Network The Oakland Raiders finally won their first game of the season on Thursday and no one was happier than Raiders rookie QB Derek Carr. Carr threw the game-winning touchdown over the Kansas City Chiefs with a little over a minute left in the game and you can see the pure elation on his face as he celebrated his first career win.
  • Here’s Our Thursday Night NFL Pick

    Mr. T
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:36 pm
    KANSAS CITY -7.5 over Oakland The Chiefs are riding high after beating the defending Super Bowl champions. They’re operating very smoothly with an old school defense and running game approach, but it definitely has worked. We thought the win over New England was a fluke, but the victories weeks later against San Diego and now Seattle have earned respect. You still don’t want to back Alex Smith in a playoff game, but there’s no reason Kansas City can’t give Denver a run for their money in winning the division. Oakland is still winless and may remain that way all season.
  • Should Your Quarterback Grow A Beard To Play Better? Research Says Yes

    David Covucci
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:33 pm
    Benny Sieu-USA TODAY Sports The best quarterback in the NFL right now, Peyton Manning, has never had facial hair. Not once in his entire career. But other quarterbacks? They alternate between clean shaven and scruff and full-blown beards (namely Kyle Orton and Ryan Fitzpatrick). Does having a beard affect how a quarterback plays? According to a study conducted by West Coast Shaving, when a man is letting it grow like a man should, he slings like a boss. Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself. West Coast Shaving Those are some of the best quarterbacks in the league, playing a shit ton…
  • This Is What It Would Look Like If A Drug Deal Were To Ruin Your Date

    BroBible Staff
    20 Nov 2014 | 3:32 pm
    Have you ever been afraid that a random drug deal would ruin your date? Well then watch this video so you know how comically stupid and awful a situation like that would be if it ever happened. Which it won’t, because what the fuck.
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    Magick Sandwich

  • Pink Ribbon Products: From Car Horns to Handguns

    26 Oct 2014 | 1:12 pm
    This is a bagel. What did you think it was?What would October be without a smorgasbord of pinktastic breast cancer awareness-themed treats from cookies, mints, hard lemonade, jelly beans, popcorn and  PEZ to ribbon-shaped cakes, chocolates, cupcake sprinkles, lollipops, pasta and bagels? Rarely has life-threatening illness tasted so delicious.Of course, we shouldn't forget the memorial offerings not meant to pass through the alimentary canal: perfume, knee socks, beer koozies, curling irons, chewing gum, flip flops, beach balls, tote bags, vegetable peelers, bathrobes, fishing rods,chip…
  • Magick Sandwich FAIL

    23 Jun 2014 | 1:23 pm
    Magick Sandwich has been on an unannounced (and unintended) hiatus while I've been working on a new project, a t-shirt directory called Greatest Tees on Earth. It's been fun and time-consuming. I hope you'll pardon my absence and enjoy these much more amusing examples of failure to communicate.Duct Tape FAILNormally, I dislike the profligate use of FAIL. It inflames my inner English major. But I can't think of a better description for this duct-taped attempt at urban renewal. Of course, the sign is still operational, so I guess it's also a duct tape SUCCESS.Flyer FailAt least the circulars…
  • 4 New Products to Try this Valentine's Day

    13 Feb 2014 | 8:49 pm
    We've told you how to pimp your vajajay, get gorgeous with crazy treatments, decipher her Valentine riddles, and enjoy some quality alone time with an iTunes app. Now Magick Sandwich brings you this dispatch from our annual genital Olympics.***** Our tireless pursuit of hairless pudenda has claimed a hidden casualty. The pubic crab is all but extinct, Bloomberg reports, due to our destruction of its habitat. (Where is PETA? Off protesting the eugenics of dog breeding at the Westminster Kennel Show? Are saber-toothed crotch critters unworthy of affection? How species-ist!)While it may be too…
  • The 9-Step Magick Sandwich Diet Plan

    28 Jan 2014 | 12:55 pm
    It's almost February. How are your New Year's resolutions panning out? Have you given up already? Have you decided not to participate? Ha, trick question: that's a resolution, too! Hedge your bets and resolve to do something that cannot fail! The Magick Sandwich New Year's Diet, soon to be endorsed by Dr. Oz* (*through the mathematical probability that everything will eventually be monetized by Dr. Oz), is the foolproof plan that will make you a winner. Just follow these simple steps:1.  Berate yourself about your weight, size, love handles, saddle bags, anything that makes you feel bad…
  • Naughty Little Elf Gets off the Shelf

    17 Dec 2013 | 7:06 pm
    It all started innocently enough. The "Elf on a Shelf" is a pretty self-explanatory Christmas tradition that I thought would be cute to give to my niece. But I didn't know it has a backstory that makes it special and not a little creepy -- depending on how you feel about animated dolls.Shelf not includedThe elf reports to Santa every night and returns to a different spot the next morning. Sounds a lot like Chucky. Or in this case, bride of Chucky: I got my niece the newfangled girl elf because, hey, I'm nothing if not progressive. And she loves the thing, tells it she's been nice, looks to…
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  • スマホとコミックのメリットについて

    14 Nov 2014 | 10:25 pm
    最近のです。 あまり理解できない人がいたら大変申し訳ないのですが紙のコミックの良い所というのはまさにそういう所なのではないでしょうか? スマホとコミックのメリットについて is a post from: コミックインフィニティ
  • お坊さんとの恋愛

    13 Oct 2014 | 10:05 pm
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • How to Instagram your quiet time.

    19 Nov 2014 | 11:20 am
    If a Christian has a quiet time and doesn’t Instagram it, did it really happen? Comedian John Crist has the answer and it is brilliant. The post How to Instagram your quiet time. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
  • The secret circle of people you text funny stuff that you’re afraid to share online.

    6 Nov 2014 | 2:00 am
    I have a confession. I have a small group of friends I text funny stuff to that I am afraid to share online. They are like minded, humor friendly, non judgy people I trust not to shame me for laughing at something I probably shouldn’t be laughing at. It is possible I am the only one who does this. It is possible that you will have two reactions to this post: How dare you sir! I never text funny things to a select group of like minded people. You’re not brave! I tweet, Facebook, and pin whatever I feel like. But regardless of your reaction, I felt it was time to come clean. Here’s how it…
  • If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it.

    23 Oct 2014 | 10:36 am
    If there were ever something that belonged on the Stuff Christians Like blog, it’s this video in which Air New Zealand shows you how the Hobbits would prepare to have a safe flight. Bravo! The post If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
  • Group Prayer: The How to’s and The Houdinis

    10 Oct 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is another great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) If you’re not already cringing, then you may be what some would call a “sneaky snake.” (words chosen purposefully) We’ve all been there. They’ve just finished up weekly home group, the end draws near, the night is almost over and that can only mean one thing: Time to pray. Out loud. Your leader peers around the circle, and everyone is already saying a small prayer, “Please God, don’t pick me.” One to play the Houdini card? Here are 5 subtle moves to…
  • You broke my burrito! and 2 other moments I stink at giving people grace.

    30 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
      Sometimes I like to think I’m good at this grace thing. Mostly this happens after I have listened to the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United. Having been hit with the audio waves of that fantastic chorus 92 times, I take my headphones out and make some strong declarations. “This is it! I’m going to show other people grace! I am going to walk on water and be bold and brave and yay #TeamGrace!” I don’t pronounce the word “Hashtag” out loud because I’m not 13 but in that moment, I do get ready to live with so much grace. Until, I run into these three situations and…
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    Small & Big

  • Looking For Quirky Tees?

    P.L. Frederick
    3 Nov 2014 | 1:32 pm
    Put some cartoons on t-shirts. Fun gift idear. Take a gander at the first... ducky head angel thing at©2011 P.L. Frederick. See Small & Big for full copyright details.
  • Turn A Stupid Idea Into A Successful Humor Book [video]

    P.L. Frederick
    3 Aug 2012 | 11:00 am
    This is great. Humor writer and author Tim Bete presents: How I converted 7,000 hours of work into $10 hard cash and then turned a single stupid idea into $37,000. He discuses publishing, editors, ideas... helpful stuff for any writer. He presented at the 2012 Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Runs 58 minutes. Warning: Enjoy!©2011 P.L. Frederick. See Small & Big for full copyright details.
  • Rules Of Football*

    P.L. Frederick
    18 Jul 2012 | 8:20 pm
    Ball gnawing encouraged.If football rolls into a hole, anything goes; i.e., head bonkings.Should a player stand upon football, no other player may touch it EVER. (Until football standing terminates.)Transport football via mouth ONLY.Picking up the player transporting football via mouth is permitted.Batting football back and forth between forelimbs is encouraged (extra points for blurring).Each player acts as their own team; i.e. three players equals three teams.Any player wearing leash shall clothesline all players, including self.Players signal a Personal Time Out by either lying down or…
  • Help A Teenage Michael Jackson Impersonator (Keith Knight)

    P.L. Frederick
    28 Mar 2012 | 8:00 am
    Update: He did it! Keith Knight got funded for his Michael Jackson project, with the help of good people like you. In fact, on April 6, 2012 he exceeded his $40K goal.I've long appreciated Keith Knight. He's the man behind one of my favorite cartoons, Life's Little Victories. Keef is giving away three old illustration sketchbooks, he will draw you into an upcoming published cartoon, he will come to your town and present his famous slideshow (I have seen it, it is great) and cartooning workshop, he will lip sync a Michael Jackson song in your living room — all because he was a…
  • How To Attract A Puppy

    P.L. Frederick
    10 Feb 2012 | 2:00 pm
    What You Need For This Project1 Broom1 Dustpan1 FloorDirectionsUsing the broom, sweep dirt and debris into a pile in the middlest part of the room. The tidier and more perfecter the better. Do your tidy dust collection and tidy floor make your heart sing? Perfect. Wait 30 seconds (in high altitude, allow up to three minutes). From out of nowhere, mammalian fauna comes sniffing at the dust pile; ooh, now they are sitting in it, licking it, rolling in it, spreading it asunder, really whoopin’ it up.Make a grab! With a forward motion of your arm like you’re scooping a puppy into a…
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Destroying the Power Of Ritual

    11 Nov 2014 | 7:54 pm
    You want to know what makes PeaceBang really upset and cranky and sometimes just plain furious? Well, she’s going to tell you, of course, so pull up a tuffet and get a cup of tea. Look. We are heirs and stewards of ancient rituals, and there is a power and majesty in those rituals that can only be maintained when the people leading them are mature and responsible in their work. Too often, this maturity is jettisoned in favor of sloppy bonhomie, as if it’s uncool to take church too seriously, you know, because someone might get the impression that religion matters to us. It just…
  • Thanksgiving Liturgies

    7 Nov 2014 | 6:45 pm
    Hollering for help, ministers and priests and rabbis! I bet ten bucks some of you are putting together orders of worship for interfaith Thanksgiving services, right? Me, too. We will have representatives from the Unitarian Universalist, Jewish, Muslim, United Church of Christ (Congregationalist), Episcopal, and Spiritualist communities. I have participated in many such services over the years but my own files seem to be curiously bereft of liturgical specimens. Would you be so kind as to share yours or to make recommendations in the comments? My e-mail address is my real first name dot my…
  • Men In Paisley

    7 Nov 2014 | 7:26 am
    Last weekend I was in Connecticut getting ready to hit the road back to Massachusetts when my best friend’s dad came to bid me farewell. He was SO HANDSOME that I actually gasped. He’s a very distinguished and handsome man in the first place, but he was wearing a gorgeous and impeccably ironed paisley shirt in autumnal colors under a camel chamois shirt with chinos and boots. Before I hugged him goodbye I just HAD to ask: “Is that a Liberty of London shirt?” He smiled at me with one of those inscrutable dad expressions and said that yes, it was. I totally died. SO…
  • Sugar Blues

    2 Nov 2014 | 9:38 pm
    I was feeling so entirely crummy. I was just dragging myself around. I was so blue. I couldn’t get my mojo going. And then I started to feel remarkably better. I could hop out of bed some of my customary peppiness! I could do smart things like start the morning with a big glass of lemon water. I could bother to do my skin care regimen at night. I started cooking nutritious meals, and getting some spring in my step again. So I reviewed my food journal and my calendar to see if I could trace the source of the crumminess. And you know, it was all because of sugar. A half a dozen tiny…
  • Practicing Safe Socks

    1 Nov 2014 | 5:43 pm
    Darlings! What a reason for joy! When the weather turns chilly, PeaceBang knows a few things: she knows that her 20-30 minute refresher naps will become 1-2 hour Winter Bear naps. She knows that it’s time to get out the neti pot. She knows that she better get those tulip bulbs planted. And she knows that it is Socks Season, which she hates a lot because socks are either flimsy and short and squish down in her boots, or they are icky nylon trouser socks that make her feet sweat, or they are warm knee socks that don’t quite pull up over her chubby calves. Or, worst of all, they are…
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    The Turkey Sandwich Report

  • I like my Turkey Sandwich Dry

    16 Nov 2014 | 3:18 pm
    That’s right – I’m back in the Turkey Sandwich game.  This time, I’m doing it East Coast-style because I’ve relocated to Delaware.  That’s a good and bad thing.  Bad in that Delaware doesn’t have that many sandwich shops, mostly because there aren’t that many people here.  It’s GOOD in that I live two hours from Philly, Baltimore and DC and that should provide me with some good solid sandwich opportunities. For the time being, let’s start this comeback with a home-grown, Delaware sandwich shop: Casapulla’s Deli in Rehoboth…
  • Thanksgiving Leftover: Instagram-style

    28 Nov 2013 | 9:35 am
    I do not have time for an elaborate Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich this year. Peace and love, peace and love.  I’m warning you with peace and love, peace and love, I will not have time to film and edit anything beyond this Instagram video. Anyway, peace and Love, peace and love.
  • Subway Cheats Like Snarf’s

    17 Jan 2013 | 2:26 pm
    I made a big fucking deal out of Snarf’s ripping people off a couple years ago.  I still don’t give those cheating motherfuckers any of my Turkey Sandwich business. Now, you can add Subway to the list of cheaters.  They’re ripping people out of one inch on their sandwiches too.  Link to story here. 1 inch is a lot.  Would you want to walk away from 1 inch?  I certainly wouldn’t. Sing it with me: 5 dollar 11 incher! Pieces of shit.  Both of them.
  • 2012 Thanksgiving Leftover Turkey Sandwich

    22 Nov 2012 | 8:07 pm
    It’s here.  The 2012 Thanksgiving Leftover Turkey Sandwich.  Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have done a video this year if it were not for you, the loyal Turkey Sandwich Report Nation.  You guys demanded a video and I think I came through for you in a big way. This year, I really challenged myself.  I asked Mrs. Turkey Sandwich to pick out the ingredients and then I would work my magic from there – just like the show Chopped.  Let me say this with all sincerity and seriousness.  The sandwich that I created in this video was incredible.  Make this sandwich now.
  • Do you know what REAL Turkey is?

    24 Jun 2012 | 3:10 pm
    I’m a big fan of the show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (Triple D).  In fact, I’ve started searching out places where the host Guy Fieri has visited.  Yea, pretty nerdy, I know.  Whatever.  I take my food pretty serious. Tomorrow is my birthday, so when Mrs. Turkey Sandwich asked me where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner, I checked the innerettes to see if there was a place in Denver that has been featured on  “Triple D” that I have not been to yet. There was.  It’s called The Bagel Deli and it’s a couple miles from my house.  It’s a Jewish…
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    The Junk Drawer

  • Memory Burn

    18 Nov 2014 | 4:08 pm
    Many of you know my husband Dave and I took a vacation to England in September. It was our second trip there in a 16-month period, lucky ducks we are. Whenever I get back from a whirlwind vacation, I think of blogging about it, but it just feels like too much work. Too much to document and I always wonder if I’ll remember everything or bore everyone, or both. So I decide not to write about it at all. But today I wanted to talk about the little moments of this vacation that pop into my head when my life is spinning, when people are getting on my last nerve, when I need to fling myself back…
  • We Have Cats Because They’re Not Dogs. And Yet…

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    So I’ve never been a dog person. First, because I was attacked by a German shepherd as a child. That’ll turn you off dogs for good, lemme tell ya. Second, because dogs eat stuff they shouldn’t, break stuff and need to be taken out for walks. I’m a very easily annoyed and lazy person, so there you go. And yet, I appear to have a dog anyway. A new cat named Chloe, renamed Chewy. Why renamed Chewy? Because of this: This is the HDMI cable from our upstairs TV that suddenly wouldn’t work. Took 45 minutes on the phone with a perplexed RCN tech support guy before I realized the cable had…
  • Back to School Crazy

    8 Aug 2014 | 3:46 pm
    I’d like to start off by saying I tip my hat to all you parents out there. I’m constantly amazed at how you pull off the hardest job in the world, all with a myriad other stresses in your life. I don’t know where you get the time or energy for it. Pat yourselves on the back. Go ahead. Do it. Those of you with kids returning to school in the fall are probably running around right now trying to get all your ducks in a row. I’ve heard of schools sending parents a list of things their children will need before school starts, especially grade school-aged children. Very specific lists that…
  • If Grammar is So Hard, What Hope Do We Have for World Peace, Really?

    12 Jul 2014 | 6:06 am
    Amazon just yelled at me in an email to get off my ass and blog more. Apparently, they like it if the people who subscribe to Junk Drawer on Kindle actually get something they pay for. Since I haven’t written in a month, I got flagged for being a slacker. Sorry Kindle people! I promise to do better and stop writing exclusively for The Facebook. Starting with two grammar failures I found on TV graphics within 12 hours of each other. Signs the world is going to hell in a hand basket: unnecessary apostrophes and misspellings. First, this one had me confused because the TV was muted and I…
  • Maybe Poke It With a Stick?

    1 Jun 2014 | 12:29 pm
    I had no intention of walking ten miles today, I really didn’t. In fact, when I went to bed last night, it was with such a creaky body I figured I would spend all of today on the couch. Instead, I woke up feeling like my whole body had been replaced with one that actually works. When that happens, you take every advantage of it, especially since I’ve suffered from some recurring, frustrating knee pain lately. Pain that’s kept me from doing any kind of meaningful exercise. Since I had zero pain today, I set out to do one or two miles. Which turned into four, which turned into six and…
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    Joel Klebanoff: Stuff & Nonsense » Joel Klebanoff: Stuff & Nonsense

  • Sole Mates

    Joel Klebanoff
    11 Nov 2014 | 8:12 pm
    I have what I think is a brilliant idea for an innovative web-based business. Notwithstanding my extreme angst over the risk of having the concept stolen by one unscrupulous jerk or another—or maybe both of them simultaneously, I want to put the notion out there for a crowd-sourced evaluation. Here it is: an online dating […]Possibly Related Posts:New SocksStarbucks RulesExercise ExcessHealthful MeditationThe Common Cold
  • Incomprehensible Contrasts: Gaza/17

    Joel Klebanoff
    23 Jul 2014 | 11:12 am
    Scientists have searched for years and billions of dollars have been expended, but there is still no cure for AIDS. There are drugs that can turn it into a chronic disease rather than a near-term death sentence. However, that is not a cure. As I understand it, it’s a life sentence of a brutal, rigorous […]Possibly Related Posts:Debunking Medical MythsNarrow MindednessAncient PornA Certain History?Insanely Religious
  • Narrow Mindedness

    Joel Klebanoff
    3 Feb 2014 | 2:22 pm
    I contend that most of us are narrow minded. As I wrote the previous sentence I had a vision of the fingers of the majority of the few people who come here immediately pouncing on their keyboards to pound out an exceptionally fervent agreement or disagreement with that statement. Or maybe they’ll get defensive and […]Possibly Related Posts:See Better Weight Loss ResultsImponderablesSun BlockHealthful MeditationThe Improbability of You
  • Imponderables

    Joel Klebanoff
    20 Jan 2014 | 2:25 pm
     There are, to say the absolutely very least, a great many phenomena in the universe that I find to be imponderable; at least not ponderable in any more than purely superficial, meaningful way. Other people may find it possible to not just ponder some of them deeply and meaningfully, but also actually understand them. I […]Possibly Related Posts:Narrow MindednessSun BlockSee Better Weight Loss ResultsA Certain History?Cornering the Web Content Market
  • A Certain History?

    Joel Klebanoff
    14 Jan 2014 | 1:52 pm
    A riddle recently raced across my mind, pausing in its journey through the dust it found there only long enough for me to jot it down. I found the riddle interesting. You, on the other hand, may find it boring, nonsensical and/or irrelevant and curse me for once again wasting your time by babbling childish […]Possibly Related Posts:ImponderablesIncomprehensible Contrasts: Gaza/17Narrow MindednessFirst TimesSmartphone Obsessed
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    Weird News FilesWeird News Files » | The Weirdest News Ever

  • The kid who designed a Lego prosthesis for his arm

    19 Nov 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Aidan Robinson was born with a left arm that ends at the elbow. This made him since he was little carry prosthesis to perform daily activities. Although he learned to work seamlessly with both arms there was a difficulty: the design of the pieces used often did not conform to the necessities he had. A new little hero Tired of carrying rigid systems that did not move at all, he decided to install a myoelectric implant that allowsed him to transform his muscle movements into electrical responses to control a prosthesis. The idea was good but something was failing: it was hard to find models…
  • Canadian Lakes Polluted By Plankton That Turns Water Into Jelly

    18 Nov 2014 | 7:20 pm
    Several Canadian lakes are now suffering serious damage from the takeover of a jelly-like organism. The cause? Shortage of an important element that is considered a blight in water supply: Calcium. Too much calcium plus dissolved minerals produce hard water, which is often a curse for a lot of cities. This is because, aside from preventing soap suds from forming and damaging boilers, magnesium ions and calcium give water a rather unpleasant taste. Today, however, Canadian Lakes are being studied for exhibiting the opposite problem: lake waters being too low in calcium. The Holopedium…
  • At last the answer to why we hate our voice in a video

    17 Nov 2014 | 12:07 pm
    Our voice is unique. The tones, feelings, gravity… usually we don’t pay much attention to how it sounds when speaking. But it’s very common for people that listen to their recorded voices, unless they’re some kind of baritone or soprano, tend to be disgusted and think, ‘Is that my voice?, how can it sound like this?’ That can’t be my voice! The explanation’s scientific and follows a process surprising to many. In short, science’s responsible to answer the question of why the sounds of the voice we perceive as own sound much more…
  • 4 Breweries Set Up in Various Bizarre Places around the US

    15 Nov 2014 | 6:56 am
    You’ve probably heard of old historic buildings transformed into homes, museums or shops. But what do you think about decades-old structures that have been repurposed into breweries? Here are some of the best breweries you can find in the most unexpected places: Brewery Vivant – Grand Rapids, MI This beer company has a brewery in a former garage while its restaurant/bar is set up in an old 1900s style funeral chapel. The founders of New Holland Brewing who run this brewery spent $3 million in renovation, and now the beer joint looks like a beer basilica complete with stained glass…
  • Epistemonikos | The new health based database

    14 Nov 2014 | 2:25 pm
    Epistemology is the branch of philosophy whose object of study is knowledge. Why do we know what we know? How much can we know? How? When can we ensure that we know what? Do some data take precedence over other data? In short, a discipline closely linked to scientific research and that physicist Alan Sokal summarizes excellently in his book Beyond the intellectual frauds. Therefore, this platform has chosen the name Epistemonikos, which means in ancient Greek, according to our admired philosopher Aristoteles, ‘what is worth knowing’, as it is a database of health issues that…
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    Base Camp Legends

  • Hunting Success

    Sue Sorenson
    15 Nov 2014 | 8:23 pm
    There have been some happy hunters out there this fall! Here’s a few pictures of our sons, Todd and Tom and their successful hunts…   Todd with his nice buck shot the last day of the season                   Tom with his first Nebraska Pronghorn                   Tom with his first Nebraska deer               Gary with his tender buck for the freezer!                 Sue is still looking for her first successful…
  • First Deer… Priceless

    Sue Sorenson
    15 Nov 2014 | 7:49 pm
    It was a special experience to be with our young friend Seth, when he killed his first deer. The excitement and sense of accomplishment is priceless! The cold rain and fog didn’t dampen this young man’s enthusiasm!               Seth had reason to feel good about his accomplishment… the weather was miserable, visibility was poor, the terrain was vertical… but the hunt was awesome! Here’s the video that tells the story…   The post First Deer… Priceless appeared first on Base Camp Legends.
  • Final days of September

    Sue Sorenson
    12 Nov 2014 | 3:00 am
    Final day on the mountain                 This would be our last hunt of September 2014… so it was with a mixed feeling of sadness and anticipation that we made our way up the mountain. Things had gotten pretty hectic for Gary at work, and we didn’t know if it was going to work out for one more hunt… but last minute, on Monday September 29th after Gary got off work, we threw our gear together and headed out. There was just no way we could spend the last day of September moping around at home! Daylight was going fast by the time we…
  • Mama bear and cubs encounter

    Sue Sorenson
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I hunted hard during my Spring Bear hunt and never saw hide nor hair of a single bear. I did see a lot of elk… so it is a given that during our elk hunts we see a lot of bear! Here is a little footage of the mother bear and her two yearling cubs that we encountered as we were hiking out from our elk hunt on September 13th. Sure is a thrill to be so close!   The post Mama bear and cubs encounter appeared first on Base Camp Legends.
  • Weeks Three and Four

    Sue Sorenson
    3 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    The third week of September we mixed things up a bit! Gary went hunting with our son Tom, who was here visiting from Nebraska… and I had “Grandma time” with the tribe! There’s nothing like the mind of three and five year olds!! It makes you really appreciate simple things in life when you look at it through the perspective of those little ones. Their favorite meal was “Smashed potatoes” with venison steaks and gravy!    Shooting at Papa’s 3-D Bear!             Picking Grandma’s apples        …
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • No Business Like Show(er) Business

    8 Nov 2014 | 8:22 pm
    (If she 'blinded you with science', chances are it wasn't Secondhand SCIENCE. That's never hurt anyone's eyes. Much. This week, the topic is gravity. How does it work, what is it made of, why is it so weird? And what does it have to do with microwave burritos? Probably nothing. But go see for yourself.) Yesterday, I attended a baby shower. This was my first -- and, if the rest of life goes as planned, my last. I'm not sure I "enjoyed" the experience, exactly. But I did learn a lot. First, it was a brunch. I don't do a lot of brunching, personally, but I gather the concept was dreamed up just…
  • Taxi-mum Overdrive

    1 Nov 2014 | 12:18 pm
    (Soak up some science! This week's ridiculous barely-explanation of scientifical somethings over at Secondhand SCIENCE is all about ubiquitin. It's the almost-everywhere molecule you probably never knew you were pumping out all the time. Give it a gander.) Back to the recent trip my wife and I took to Greece: we had two extremely harrowing experiences in the back of the same taxi cab. One psychological, the other social. And neither involved weaving through heavy traffic at insane rates of speed. "If we'd been going to the Souvlaki Hotel in Tzatzikitown, we might have been able to understand…
  • Camera Incompetenta

    26 Oct 2014 | 2:41 pm
    (Hey, you know what's a science thing? The exosphere, that's what's a science thing. And as of this week, it's also a Secondhand SCIENCE thing. So that's nice. Have a looksee.) I'm not a good picture taker. Usually, that means that I'm not good at remembering to take pictures. It just doesn't occur to me, in the face of some awe-inspiring spectacle, to yank out a camera and start snapping. In a lot of ways, this makes me a terrible tourist. It makes me a tremendous candidate to be visited by a UFO, probably. Those things don't like any sort of photographic evidence. But as a tourist, I don't…
  • Greece Is Indeed the Word

    18 Oct 2014 | 9:58 pm
    (Science marches on -- even when it's Secondhand SCIENCE. Stop over and learn all about gene drives. Or scarves. Or astronaut fashion. Or raining men. It gets a little weird. Check it out.) I'm a week into a two-week trip to Greece, about which I'm sure I'll have more to say later. For the moment, though, there are six thousand years' worth of ruins that aren't going to trudge through themselves, and a spanakopita calling to me from a taverna down the street. Of course, it's calling to me in Greek, which I don't understand, so maybe it's saying "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!". That would be…
  • Nobody Here But Us Vacationeers

    10 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
    (Which is the bestest quantum mechanical exclusion principle? That's right! The Pauli exclusion principle. Read all about it, and other scientifical oddities, over at Secondhand SCIENCE. It's a pip.) Working in a small company is kind of weird sometimes. I've always avoided big companies, because it seems too easy to get lost in the shuffle. If you've got nine thousand people doing the same thing, then I figure you either end up redundant or way, way specialized. Neither of those seem good. "I don't want to build some application fourteen other people already built, probably better. And…
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    List Of The Day

  • Animated GIFs Made To Look Like A Michael Bay Movie (Of The Day)

    Cary McNeal
    20 Nov 2014 | 7:27 am
    I laughed far too long at these. From Reddit.
  • News: School Library Steam-Cleaned Following Porn Shoot

    Cary McNeal
    19 Nov 2014 | 10:32 am
    I went to the wrong college. School Library Steam-Cleaned Following Porn Shoot NEWCASTLE, Australia, Nov. 18 (UPI) -- Australia's Newcastle University said its library was steam cleaned after officials discovered a student was using the facility to film pornographic videos. Officials said staff at the Auchmuty library were informed in October that a student had been filming sexually explicit
  • Commuters With Cartoon Heads Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    19 Nov 2014 | 7:13 am
    Clever idea! I laughed. From Twisted Sifter: To help pass the time on his train ride to work, writer October Jones draws cartoon heads on any piece of paper he can find, turning his fellow commuters into a funny series of characters. He tweets the humorous results to his 68K+ followers on Twitter (@OctoberJones)
  • Gift Idea Of The Day: Anonymous Sh*t Delivery

    Cary McNeal
    18 Nov 2014 | 8:25 am
    Let someone know how you really feel with a gift that keeps on stinking: horse shit. From Incredible Things: "Hate someone so much you’d pay money to have poop delivered to them in the mail? You need to do some yoga, drink some tea, and zen the F out, bro! That is real unhealthy. That said, there is a company who will do your bidding for you. It’s called Sh*t Express and for $17 they’ll
  • WTF Product Of The Day: Nutshell

    Cary McNeal
    17 Nov 2014 | 12:45 pm
    This reminds of me of how toddlers think if they can't see you, you can't see them. Never mind that this will draw more attention to you in a crowd than you would ever get normally. From Ecouterre: For those of us who get easily overwhelmed, we have just the solution to offer you some peace and quiet, maybe even a chance to eat your lunch without being interrupted, a literal way to block out
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    YouTube: Comedy

  • Wheel of Impressions with Kevin Spacey

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    31 Oct 2014 | 9:10 pm
    Wheel of Impressions with Kevin Spacey In this Halloween edition of Wheel of Impressions, Jimmy and Kevin take turns doing random celebrity impersonations, such as Christopher Walken talking about... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 7830742 49224 ratings Time: 05:04 More in Comedy
  • Daniel Radcliffe Raps Blackalicious' "Alphabet Aerobics"

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    28 Oct 2014 | 9:07 pm
    Daniel Radcliffe Raps Blackalicious' "Alphabet Aerobics" Jimmy challenges hip-hop lover Daniel Radcliffe to rap Blackalicious' tongue-twisting "Alphabet Aerobics." Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy F... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 26180897 281978 ratings Time: 04:01 More in Comedy
  • Jimmy Fallon feat. - Ew! (Official Music Video)

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    6 Oct 2014 | 8:46 pm
    Jimmy Fallon feat. - Ew! (Official Music Video) Jimmy and's teenage-girl alter-egos (Sara and rap about things they think are "Ew!" Download "Ew!" on iTunes: Liste... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 16770558 196639 ratings Time: 02:26 More in Comedy
  • Ellen Meets the ‘Apparently’ Kid, Part 1

    11 Sep 2014 | 11:37 am
    Ellen Meets the ‘Apparently’ Kid, Part 1 Ellen met Noah Ritter after a video of him went viral. Nobody could have predicted what she was in for. Ellen Meets the 'Apparently' Kid, Part 2 https://www.... From: TheEllenShow Views: 8287159 53490 ratings Time: 04:02 More in Entertainment
  • Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    2 Sep 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine Jimmy challenges Adam to a friendly game of random musical impressions, like Michael Jackson singing the Sesame Street theme song. Subscribe NOW to The Tonig... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 16051688 90428 ratings Time: 05:02 More in Comedy
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  • NaBloPoMo: 30 Days Of Stuff My Mother Found In Her House And Gave To Me

    1 Nov 2014 | 6:58 pm
     My mother is de-cluttering. She is un-hoarding. She is liquidating the contents of her house. And like a museum of my childhood I hadn't intended on visiting anytime soon--let alone, knew existed--each time she visits, my mother, curator, delivers bags and boxes of my past. Like this...thing.What is it? It's a nurse mouse, as much as I can figure. It is also a bank.No one in our immediate family was a nurse or had ever been a nurse when this bank was given to me...when? Who knows. I didn't want to be a nurse when I grew up. Or a veterinarian.The nurse mouse doesn't represent a…
  • I was playing Old Maid and accidentally wrote a John Irving novel...

    21 Nov 2013 | 6:16 pm
    or maybe I accidentally cast a John Waters film?This artwork on this card deck is very difficult to defend unless you're using it as a Rolodex for fringe characters.Read more Josette at © Copyright 2005-2012, Halushki | Josette Plank. All Rights Reserved
  • Laughing At Kmart's Jingle Bells Commercial Makes Me A Bad Santa

    20 Nov 2013 | 10:04 pm
    Well, ring-a-ding-dingaling and fa-la-la-la-liscious! Kmart's new video ad for Joe Boxer underwear has tongues a-wagging over a bunch of comely young men jingling their jangly bits to holiday music.If you're watching this with your Aunt Millie, you'd best bring out the fainting couch and smelling salts.Ready? For your viewing pleasure.Okay, quick poll:What is ringing on these guys? Their hips? Their franks? Or is it the beans?I know what you mean. Wink wink "bells up their bums" nudge nudge.Although, I'm going with Jingle Balls. Isn't the selling point of boxer underwear the loose-fitting…
  • 1970s Kids Television. Prepare to have your mind blown.

    4 Jul 2013 | 7:37 am
    Romper RoomNew Zoo RevueWonderamaThe Magic GardenHatchy Milatchy Theme SongThe Electric CompanyZoom!© Copyright 2005-2012, Halushki | Josette Plank. All Rights Reserved
  • A Poem About Laundry

    25 Jun 2013 | 5:27 am
    Wrote this one a ways back....Canticle for 2:35 P.M.The laundry pile is no more:every sport bra stuffedinto a drawer, every pink pantylined up crotch-to-crotchin cottony majesty and I will fling the plastic basket,fling it down! fling it downthe basement stairs!and sing now by theiron’s hot glow -"This wash is done,this wash is done,and Hallelujah,this wash is done!”I have struck a broken pose,my hands repeating timeless gestures, wrestling fitted sheets,snapping T-shirts into unwrinkledexcellence, turning one last pairof blue jeans outside-in, butwasting not one…
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    English Russia

  • Exclusive: Birth of Russian Matryoshka Dolls

    20 Nov 2014 | 9:35 pm
    Matryoshka is one of the most recognizable symbols of Russia. It is brought from the country as a souvenir being usually bought only by foreigners. Blogger Yaroslav visited the place in a little town called Semenov where these wooden dolls … Read more...
  • Russian Army Playing Cards

    20 Nov 2014 | 8:41 am
    To get a better idea of Russian army you might want to see the playing cards with Russian army comics made probably by the soldiers or by ex-soldiers. In order to make it even more cool one might want to … Read more...
  • Just Now: Land Has Collapsed Under Houses UPDATED

    20 Nov 2014 | 7:03 am
        We just received this photos  about this giant sinkhole which appeared right in the middle of the settlement with one house reportedly went under the ground. Let’s see a couple more photos inside:     Police urgently closed … Read more...
  • Donetsk Today

    19 Nov 2014 | 5:40 pm
    Dmitriy has visited Donbass – the region where is fights were going on in Summer, around Donetsk, Ukraine and those are the photos he brought back. Like the building on this photo above is a museum: “Didn’t have chance to … Read more...
  • Sheglovski Val Military Factory

    18 Nov 2014 | 9:00 pm
    A “Sheglovski Val” military factory was having an open house (why at all they are doing this?) and some photographers visited so here a few photos from the inner once to be secret chambers of the place where modern weapons … Read more...
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  • The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys

    20 Nov 2014 | 7:09 pm
    “This is a photo from the final tap dance duet my brother and I did together. It is my deepest hope that he will still speak to me after this is posted. Jazz hands have never looked so profound.” (submitted by Kipp) “This is a photo from the final tap dance duet my brother and I did together. It is my deepest hope that he will still speak to me after this is posted. Jazz hands have never looked so profound.” (submitted by Kipp)
  • 20 Unironic Ugly Christmas Sweaters

    20 Nov 2014 | 1:18 pm
  • Smoked Turkey

    20 Nov 2014 | 10:07 am
    It adds flavor. (submitted by Jim) It adds flavor. (submitted by Jim)
  • Tootsie

    19 Nov 2014 | 10:13 pm
    “I am the little girl who looks to be about 40 years old and that’s my brother on the right. My mother wanted our portraits done and we didn’t want to be anywhere near each other so she bribed us with candy bars to stand back to back like best buds. Oh yeah, and clad entirely in denim. Why did we all have those giant glasses in the 80′s? I look like Tootsie.” (submitted by Kristin) “I am the little girl who looks to be about 40 years old and that’s my brother on the right. My mother wanted our portraits done and we didn’t want to be anywhere…
  • Rodrage

    19 Nov 2014 | 2:42 pm
    “My dad thought 2-year-old me was strong enough to hang from the curtain rod while he takes a picture.” (via battle) “My dad thought 2-year-old me was strong enough to hang from the curtain rod while he takes a picture.” (via battle)
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    Fair City News

  • MSU Opens Community Catbox
    14 Nov 2014 | 5:24 am
    Crappin’ cats take court Springfield, MO – Though it will be used in the summer as a sand volleyball court, MSU athletic department officials  have come to an agreement with CCLS (Crazy Cat Ladies of Springfield), to utilize the new, enormous sand pit as a gathering place in the off season for both stray and kept cats in Central Springfield. Myrtle Stokely, current president of CCLS, told Fair City News that they have simply been seeking equal rights for felines ever since the city opened a dog park on the south side several years ago. “Do cats not merit equal rights and…
  • Snake Oil
    12 Nov 2014 | 6:50 am
  • Cold Prevents Zombie Uprising
    31 Oct 2014 | 5:56 am
    Surveillance camera captures zombies fearing cold temps Springfield, MO – Insiders learned that hundreds of undead have postponed plans to overtake Springfield, MO due to frigid temperatures during a breach in a zombie gathering today beneath the city in a tunnel near downtown. “I hear them say ‘too cold’ and ‘postpone’ in between disjointed moans,” said Alex Lopinop, a zombie hunter and founder of Zombies In Our Nation (Z.I.O.N). Lopinop is a world-renowned zombie hunter and has been stationed in Greene County for several months tracking, monitoring and taking out threatening…
  • Persimmon Chopsticks Seed Indicate GODZILLA!
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    Persimmon seed chopsticks predict monster invasion Springfield, MO – According to weather folklore, the seed of a persimmon can give clues about an upcoming winter’s weather patterns; the fork, knife and spoon shapes are indicators to what winter may hold. However, this fall the seeds have yielded a rare shape, the chopsticks, and speculation is rampant as horticulturists try to find a meaning behind the message. “Chopsticks in a persimmon seed? Never heard of it,” said native Ozarker Eric Timmonsber, “Seems like someone planted their persimmons incorrectly.” Others are less…
  • Man Attempts Leaficide
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    Man covers self with leaves, hopes for motorist Springfield, MO – Large trees are often considered beautiful especially during the fall when leaves change color in bright bursts of red, orange and yellow, however, one resident became overwhelmed by the falling foliage this weekend and was found in a leaf pile on the street after an attempted leaficdie outside his home. Neighbors said they heard moaning and complaining coming from the man’s backyard all weekend but none expected this type of behavior from a well-rounded, respected home owner. “He was howling and cursing all weekend.
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  • spreadburger says FML

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:29 pm
    Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:27 pm
    Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:59 pm
    Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML
  • fark says FML

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:45 pm
    Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:15 pm
    Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Manson: Also Registered at Pottery Barn, Target, Amazon, Walmart, and Macy's

    19 Nov 2014 | 6:17 pm
    Your options for furnishing the cell of Charles Manson and/or the nearby hovel of his future bride have expanded somewhat. This is according to, which is the sort of thing I was hoping my colleague Amy would know about, but no, I had to search by hand because I only learned about this today from Steve. (Thanks, Steve.) But again, to Amy's credit she did accurately predict that the Mansons would be registered at BB&B, so there is that. Of course, one or all of these could be bogus, although that only seems likely if they were set up after news of the marriage…
  • The Mansons Are Registered at Bed Bath & Beyond

    18 Nov 2014 | 1:36 pm
    Not even kidding: As I'm sure you know by now, or if not I'm telling you, Charles Manson and Afton Elaine Burton were issued a marriage license on November 7. The bride is an attractive 26-year-old who hails from the Midwest, while the groom is a not-at-all-attractive 80-year-old currently residing in Corcoran, California, where he is serving a life sentence for several notoriously brutal murders. No date has been set for the nuptials, but the prison has assigned a wedding coordinator, and the license is good until February. And they do appear to be registered at Bed Bath & Beyond. Are…
  • Woman Alleges Vicious Beagle Slain by Noble Pit Bulls

    17 Nov 2014 | 12:13 pm
    But not before it bit her, and that's why she's suing the beagle's owners for over $200,000. First of all, I don't think this is one of those cases that involves the debate whether pit bulls are inherently vicious or have to be raised that way. It's probably enough to note that it involved, on one side, a single 10-year-old beagle, and on the other, four pit bulls that did in fact kill another dog. So let's start with that. According to the Galveston Daily News (linked above), what happened is that "four pit bulls escaped from their yard ... and slipped through a hole in [the] fence,…
  • Various Plaintiffs v. Various Defendants

    14 Nov 2014 | 11:55 am
    Justin writes: I was a little flummoxed when I saw this caption. I thought, "That can't be right. Someone at Westlaw must have been screwing around." But ... there it is. It's beautiful in its simplicity. It's the all-purpose caption! Think of the ink we'd save. Unfortunately, we do need a way to distinguish between cases. Each one does get a unique number, but it's just too dull to go around saying things like "the long-awaited Supreme Court ruling in Case No. 2009-cv-42513-JRN-ERC." So not only is it ancient tradition to name them after the parties, the rules usually require it.
  • "The Huge Duck Scared Me," Says Woman Ticketed for Failing to Yield to It

    13 Nov 2014 | 11:21 am
    I like to think that most people would yield to a duck if it was safe to do so. But what if the duck was six-foot-four? The answer is apparently no. This duck was, in fact, an undercover officer dressed in a Donald Duck costume (and so arguably not "undercover" at all). He was part of an operation in Fort Lee, New Jersey, intended to encourage drivers to yield to pedestrians. According to Chief Kenneth Bendul, 102 pedestrians have been hit by cars in Fort Lee during the past two years, and he hopes the Pedestrians in the Crosswalk safety program will bring those numbers down. In this…
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  • Dandelions - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    19 Nov 2014 | 7:34 am
    As he warmed his hands by the roaring fire following a successful hunt Thor thought about his charmed life. He and is family and friends had come a long way since their great-grandparents fled the  Garden of Eden. Loin cloths kept them modest and furs kept them warm and apples kept them healthy.Thor's brother Bert had come up with a name for their tribe. He called them cave men because, duh, they spent a lot of time living in caves. It would be hundreds of years, nay thousands, before females would be referred to as cave women.The tribe was indebted to his uncle George who, scraping a…
  • Sunday Funnies

    16 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
  • You Are In Deep Trouble - @Studio30Plus Writing Challenge

    12 Nov 2014 | 12:01 pm
    If there were a 12-Step program for Amazon he'd be the first in line. Not that he'd enrol in the program voluntarily, mind you. But his wife would be sure to sign him up.It's amazing the number of CDs and books a person can buy in a month. It's quite possible he's broken the record. He loves to read. And while he reads he loves listening to music.Many of the books he buys are e-books and thus largely invisible. They don't take up space on a bookshelf. They're only accessible on his iPad. And only accessible to him.But his music on the other hand is something else. He's not a big fan of…
  • Sunday Funnies

    9 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
  • Chamber of Secrets - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    4 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
    Charlie was despondent. For over three weeks now he'd sat at his desk staring at the blank white screen of his computer. And yet, he'd thought of everything but the task at hand. He'd filled out his grocery list. He'd planned his television programming for the month. He'd even thought about his upcoming date with Evelyn. But he'd not been able to create one sentence of his novel.Jack, Charlie's room-mate would laugh each time he passed by in the hall. He'd laugh on his way to his bedroom. He'd laugh on his way to the kitchen. And Charlie was about ready to blow his stack.And then, on one trip…
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    Ann's Rants

  • LTYM in 39 cities in 2015, but first at The Women’s Expo November 23rd!

    Ann Imig
    14 Nov 2014 | 9:13 am
    Dear Friends and Readers, THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON. First, please watch Listen To Your Mother’s 2015 season announcement brought to you by over one hundred local visionary women director/producers–four of whom have worked tirelessly with me for months to prepare for this launch–and thousands of folks who’ve entrusted LTYM with their stories over the years.   Find the full list of cities and local Director/Producers here. Next, if you live in the Madison-area, please join some LTYM alumni and I at The Women’s Expo next weekend, on Sunday November 23rd at…
  • Quiz: My calendar, or my 18 year old niece’s calendar?

    Ann Imig
    5 Nov 2014 | 1:45 pm
    My niece went off to college. We stay in touch through Facebook, texting, and we even spoke on that old-fashioned telephone contraption one time. Listening to her describe her day-to-day, I realized how nearly undecipherable our lives have become from one another.  Our calendars look so similar in fact, I challenge you to determine whose is whose. Person #1 Spends many hours per week opening mind to forensics, blood Spatter, and criminal Psychology. Person #2 Spent a few years watching Dexter from behind closed-eyes, closed bedroom door, and closed-mind.   Person #1 Wears hand-me-down…
  • I’ve never been scarier. Trust me. And don’t call me “kiddo.”

    Ann Imig
    31 Oct 2014 | 10:04 am
    Some years back, my internet life led me to filmmaker Anne Flournoy, of the highly-acclaimed web-series The Louise Log. Friendship ensued, and Anne asked me if I’d like to act in an episode of The Louise Log. I gave up acting professionally years ago, but every so often the universe hands me a job, and I say yes. In this case I said yes before Anne had even conceptualized the storyline for the season. My trust in her ran that deep. A year ago I shot this from my home over Skype, while the rest of the (impressive real Broadway actor people) cast and crew shot on site in NYC. Skype kept…
  • I Wrote Another GodForsaken Blogiverary Post so You Don’t Have to

    Ann Imig
    28 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Today I’m blog-hopping, writing with friends on the theme of “I did [fill in the blank] so you don’t have to” inspired by JD, who seems to have retired her similarly themed blog in 2013. Mom, Dad, this is one of those esoteric blogger-posts. Over the years, I’ve run the blogiversary gamut, writing satire and sap,  self-reflection and sass.  I even tried my hand at creating animated videos, making myself creative director of cartoon characters able to move their appendages in random bursts, and only at odds with their dialogue. Imagine a flip-book featuring a…
  • Duck, Duck, Inflection-afflicted Goose

    Ann Imig
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:05 am
    “Hilarious. Kind. Mega-babe.” My classmate used none of these words to describe me. In graduate school, I took a class on therapy group dynamics. As part of the experiential curriculum, we formed our own groups. The instructor asked us to go around our circle, and use a sole descriptor for each group member. One of my peers looked straight in my eyes, and said without hesitation, about me,“Intense.” Her assessment took me so far aback, I disappeared into my neck, Beaker, style. Intense. Moi? photo   Meep meep? See, I had earned the reputation in my family as the easy going child.
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    The Good, Clean Funnies List

  • Get Better Soon
    20 Nov 2014 | 11:00 pm
    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too." Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
  • Paint the General's Office
    19 Nov 2014 | 11:00 pm
    Two female privates are ordered to paint the general's office. They are warned not to get paint on their uniforms. So they lock the door, strip down to their underwear and get to work. An hour later, there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" they ask. "Blind man." Thinking nothing of it, the privates open the door. "Hi," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?" Received from martysjotd.
  • PUN-ishment
    18 Nov 2014 | 11:00 pm
    Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery. My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time. Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Received from Timothy Anger.
  • Things You'll Never Hear In A Western
    17 Nov 2014 | 11:00 pm
    ~ "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!" ~ "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my behind look big?" ~ "Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!" ~ "Let's see ... hardtack and pemmican ... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches." ~ "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution." ~ "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room." ~ "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge." ~ "That's him! That's the…
  • Tea Time
    16 Nov 2014 | 11:00 pm
    Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea. The two women then sipped their tea happily while having lunch. "Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" Johnny's mother asked. "I couldn't find it Ma, so I used the fly swatter," he replied. His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added: "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!" Received from Steve Sanderson.
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  • Shit That Saved My Life As A New Parent (and Possibly My Child’s, Too)

    6 Nov 2014 | 8:55 am
    Seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant.  I am, of course, super happy for them.  I’m also super happy for me.  Mostly because several of my high school classmates are posting pictures of their grandkids on Facebook.  It’s nice not be the only old lady defying evolution.  *uterus bumps* Several of these parasite hosts have asked, “What should we register for?”  My answer, usually, is that most of the general online lists have it right, more or less.  But I like specifics.  So do most of my friends.  And seeing as how you guys are my friends, also…
  • Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs

    14 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    This morning, while waiting for the green light to condone another cup of espresso, I turned to my husband and whispered, “I’m drinking coffee.  Willingly.  I’m a suburban housewife that drives her TWO kids through the two-lane streets of Jersey.  In a minivan.  That drinks coffee.”  I glanced down at the now deflated foam of my cappuccino.  “What the fuck happened?” Changes.  Woof.  So to calm myself down (apparently drinking too much coffee can make you anxious – we coffee novices don’t know these things), I’ve compiled this list…
  • Five Years Time

    19 Dec 2013 | 7:11 am
    Five years.  Some times that feels like five seconds.  Sometimes five lifetimes. It’s undergrad.  A novel.  An apprenticeship.  A marriage.  A thesis.  A prognosis.  A job.  A career.  A lifetime. A milestone. Normally, I wait and write about my trips to see Aloysius after they happen.  I suppose I’m a little superstitious and prefer to not jinx anything.  But today, this visit…it’s different.  Today I find out if I’m cured.  As in “cancer free.”  As in “no evidence of disease.”  As in “have a nice [long] life because…
  • Falling

    6 Sep 2013 | 11:59 am
    There’s always something about the arrival of Fall that I find deeply comforting. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love Summer.  I love her reliability – her near-constant light and temperatures.  Once you hit 90, can you really discernibly tell if the temperature continues to rise? I love breezes, water, cold drinks (even the ones without alcohol in them) and frozen dairy on a stick.  I love grills, patios, porches, and blowing bubbles.  I love hiding in the shade during the brutal mid-day sun and maybe even catching a blanket-free catnap. I love Summer, but I love to…
  • Who Moved My Corn?

    10 May 2013 | 9:43 am
    I need a piece of corn. Let’s try this again: Last week, I planted a mess of seedlings I’d been nurturing for months outside in some raised garden beds I recently built.  They’re dead now.  Apparently, you’re supposed to ease them outside, harden them, prepare them – not just shove ‘em in some mud and expect them to thrive after months without ever knowing the true warmth of the sun. Nope – too dramatic.  Take three: When she told him things she was thinking…he said it back to her in language that showed he understood what she’d said.
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    Joe Donatelli

  • Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build for the Future: Review

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Nov 2014 | 5:33 pm
    Book review of Peter Thiel's Zero to One
  • Book Review: ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko

    Joe Donatelli
    28 Sep 2014 | 7:57 pm
    A review of ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko, an important book about criminal justice and policing in a free society.
  • Playboy Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    6 Sep 2014 | 4:33 pm
    The Halloween Costumes We Want to See This Year 16 Wonderful Things People Are Doing with Sriracha Try This Hot Sauce: Blaze Sweet ‘N Hot Mango The 7 Reasons Why You Are Wrong Best Hot Sauces: Ranked Three-Breasted Woman: The Official Timeline Here are Those Celeb Nudes You’re Looking for The 15 Worst Fjords in(...)
  • Reason Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Jul 2014 | 11:00 am
    Obamacare Apologies to the Whole Foods Crowd
  • Buzzsumo on What Goes Viral

    Joe Donatelli
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:28 am
    Buzzsumo's list of 10 factors that can help a piece of content go viral. Good stuff for all us bloggers to remember.
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    Futility Closet

  • Visual Calculus

    Greg Ross
    20 Nov 2014 | 10:42 pm
    As a circle rolls along a line, a point on its circumference traces an arch called a cycloid. The arch encloses an area three times that of the circle, a result commonly proven using calculus. Now Armenian mathematician Mamikon Mnatsakanian has devised a “sweeping-tangent theorem” that accomplishes the same proof using intuition: Image: Wikimedia Commons Imagine a tangent to the rolling circle. As the circle rolls, the tangent sweeps out a series of vectors (approximated here using colors). If these vectors are then gathered to a common point while preserving their length and…
  • Constellation

    Greg Ross
    20 Nov 2014 | 10:09 am
    Circling the earth aboard Friendship 7 in 1962, John Glenn had an odd encounter: The strangest sight of all came with the very first ray of sunrise as I was crossing the Pacific toward the U.S. I was checking the instrument panel and when I looked back out the window I thought for a minute that I must have tumbled upside-down and was looking up at a new field of stars. I checked my instruments to make sure I was right-side-up. Then I looked again. There, spread as far as I could see, were literally thousands of tiny luminous objects that glowed in the black sky like fireflies. I was riding…
  • The Peace Arch

    Greg Ross
    19 Nov 2014 | 10:08 pm
    The border between the United States and Canada blurs a bit between Blaine, Wash., and Surrey, B.C. There stands the Peace Arch, a 20-meter monument to amity between the two nations commissioned by railroad executive Sam Hill in 1921. The arch stands precisely on the border, at the center of an international park: Citizens of either nation can pass without passport or visa into the other nation’s territory, provided they don’t stray beyond a dedicated area. The U.S. side of the arch bears the inscription “Children of a common mother,” and the Canadian side reads…
  • Two Futility Closet Books!

    Greg Ross
    19 Nov 2014 | 2:14 pm
    Futility Closet: An Idler’s Miscellany of Compendious Amusements and Futility Closet 2: A Second Trove of Intriguing Tidbits, are available now at Amazon. Both contain hundreds of hand-picked favorites from our 10-year archive of curiosities — perfect for your winter solstice peculiar-fact-sharing needs. Some sample items from the first book’s index: gaiety, of bespectacled horses, 35 hallucination, useful in enlivening Bristol, 94 Nazis, poorly informed regarding Irish railway schedules, 36 chili sauce, and estate planning, 25 softball, at North Pole, 67 whinging, vaudevillian,…
  • Hesiod’s Anvil

    Greg Ross
    19 Nov 2014 | 6:20 am
    How far off is heaven? In the Theogony Hesiod gives us a clue: For a brazen anvil falling down from heaven nine nights and days would reach the earth upon the tenth; and again, a brazen anvil falling from earth nine nights and days would reach Tartarus upon the tenth. How far can an anvil fall in nine days? Galileo, who taught that “the distances measured by the falling body increase according to the squares of the time,” would have determined that the anvil starts 2.96 × 109 km from earth, a distance greater than that between the sun and Uranus. But Galileo’s calculation…
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    Fib News - Various business entities for your business

  • Tips in playing Minecraft Creative Mode

    20 Nov 2014 | 2:03 am
    Minecraft game is offered in two exciting modes: creative mode and survival mode. The latter gives you limited resources for constructions. You don’t have enough resources for creating your structures so you have to gather them yourselves throughout the game. You also have to deal with dangers on this mode so if you are not ready for such, try the other mode. On creative mode your resources are limitless. Therefore, you can focus on building structures out of your creative mind. You don’t have to deal with monsters that destroy constructions on the survival mode. Minecraft creative mode…
  • Things to Consider When Searching for a Good Plumber

    18 Nov 2014 | 4:56 am
    If your taps is leaking, if your toilet is not flushing well, or the pipe has burst, you might need the service of a good plumber. If you are in this situation, you just have to ask the plumber to fix it. Having a problem of finding a good plumber? Here are some tips and things to consider on how you will select the right plumber. Initially, a plumber must have good qualifications. When searching, you will see that not all plumbers are on the same field. There are some plumbers who have knowledge on the basics while others have specialized skills. Hence, it is suggested to request the plumber…
  • Every Muslim Must Check this Live Stream Out!

    15 Nov 2014 | 3:15 am
    Muslims are known to be people that love and worship the teachings that Islamism has taught to them. This is known to be a strict religion where ties should be followed along with the rules that they have because this defines their culture so that they will be able to know what’s right or wrong in their lives. Muslims are known to have a closed knit family whether other Muslims are distant relatives or not because they have built a sacred society where they will respect every rule that they have as a Muslim, and will make sure that their commitment to Allah will be their first priority. If…
  • Basic Information Regarding Divorce Alimony

    15 Nov 2014 | 1:35 am
    There are many instances wherein a divorce is inevitable. During such circumstance, you have to take care a lot of things and one of which is the divorce virginia alimony. This refers to the amount of money that a person will receive after the divorce. It comes in three forms. One is paying in a large lump, another is paying it until a fixed date (which is called a permanent alimony) and the last one is wherein the amount is temporary (also called rehabilitative alimony). Such are usually given in order to give support to the “dependent” spouse who needs a portion of the income of his…
  • What You Should Know about Child Custody

    14 Nov 2014 | 4:08 am
    One of the challenges for couples to go through is on how they will preserve their marriage. As you can see, many couples these days file a divorce because they feel that the relationship they have with their partner is just ruining their lives. They are willing to give up the marriage and live on their own. However, the crucial part in here is to decide for the custody of their child. Both sides surely want to have the custody yet, only one would be allowed to act as the legal guardian of the child unless they will agree to go for shared custody. But if you will try to look around you, there…
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Conservative one line jokes

    24 Oct 2014 | 9:24 am
    Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it!  Its now the overseas contingency operation. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?  5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the homeowner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change. Why…
  • How old was that used car?

    19 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    How old was that used car that you bought? How old? Why, it’s so old that it doesn’t have dents, it has wrinkles! It’s so old that I had to remove the license plates to get it to go over 10 miles per hour—it couldn’t handle the load! If that car had been a few years older, Moses could have driven it over the Red Sea!
  • What is Murphy’s Law?

    18 Oct 2014 | 12:23 am
    Clown 1: What is Murphy’s Law? Clown 2: “Anything that can go wrong, will.” Clown 1: Good. And what is Segal’s law? Clown 2: “A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.” Clown 1: Excellent: And what is Cole’s Law? Clown 2: Thinly sliced cabbage, with mayonnaise and carrots.
  • What do you call cold tea?

    16 Oct 2014 | 11:24 am
    Clown 1: “What do you call cold tea?” Clown 2: “Iced tea.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold coffee?” Clown 2: “Iced coffee.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold ink?” Clown 2: “Iced ink?” Clown 1: “Then go have a shower.”
  • What’s a matta with you?

    29 Sep 2014 | 8:13 am
    Louie: What’s this? Latka: It’s a kebble. Louie: What’s a kebble? Latka: 110 kebble make a lithnitch. Louie: What’s a lithnich? Latka: 270 lithnich make a matta. Louie: What’s a matta? Latka: I don’t know, what’s a matta with you?
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • Planet Earth: No Vacancy

    Steve Lewis
    20 Nov 2014 | 6:02 pm
    Article by Steve Lewis It's not really beyond any sort of doubt that the number of people in the world is growing. And despite the seemingly enormous amount of space on Earth—I mean, I can stretch my arms out both ways and everything—there is an awful lot of talk about the fact that there are just too many fucking humans here. And those fucking humans have resulted in more humans who'll end up fucking, and the whole wretched, fluid-soaked process will continue.In the last 40 odd years, there's been over 4 billion of us who've been thrown out of the safety and warmth of our mother's canal…
  • 5 Thanksgiving Traditions You Can't Avoid

    Taylor Sade
    20 Nov 2014 | 2:56 pm
    Article by Taylor Sade Thanksgiving is often the forgotten holiday. Maybe because it's sandwiched between Satan and Jesus's birthdays. Or maybe because it's on some weird Thursday that nobody knows about unless they buy a calendar or Google it. MAYBE it's because the only thing that happens is Americans overindulging on massive quantities of food like the gluttonous creatures they are—no different from any other day of the year. Despite all of that, there are some sequences of events you simply can't avoid when "Turkey Day" rolls around—five to be exact.1. Blacking Out the Night…
  • Generic Guy's Guide to Picking Profile Pics

    Luke Strickler
    19 Nov 2014 | 5:47 pm
    Article by Luke Strickler A profile picture is your Internet face. And, just like your real face, it will be severely critiqued by every person who sees it, so it's important to get it right. Remember, even if your real face isn't great, there's no reason your Internet face can't be.The Mirror PicYou may think this is a safe option. It's just a harmless picture you took after a shit, right? Wrong. You thought you looked so good that day that you needed to commemorate it with a photo. Yeah, we can all tell. We know you only put this up to feed your constant need for attention, you narcissistic…
  • I Was Good in Bed, Right?

    Jerry Landry
    18 Nov 2014 | 7:16 pm
    Article by Jerry Landry Can you hear my heaving grunts? Can you feel how slippery my body has become? Don't worry baby, I've got more in the tank. Whether we're in a log cabin, an apartment, or in your incoming nephew's nursery, I can keep the love train rolling. But the truth is, this is more than sex to me. I just want to flop around on you for a while.This feels like what we were meant to do. It's like all the Lite Rock on 99.whatever FM. Just me, you, and maybe a little Richard Marx. I just swallowed a boner pill. Your bed is squeaky and I am so greasy. I've run out of places to wipe my…
  • Listen Up, Period C Lunch: I AM A TWITTER GOD!

    Geoffrey Asmus
    17 Nov 2014 | 8:40 pm
    Article by Geoffrey Asmus ATTENTION WESTWOOD HIGH STUDENTS!! I DID IT! I've created fame. I've bottled greatness. I've put a stopper on death. Okay, maybe not that last one. But I HAVE climbed the unclimbable Everest of viral domination. That's right, I have SEVEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED TWITTER FOLLOWERS!My thoughts are your thoughts. Your hearts beat in time with mine.Half the school follows my @FedoraExplorer Twitter handle. The rest will soon join. How can you deny my delightful niche of photoshopping fedoras on beloved Star Wars characters??Mr. Rose, what need have I for a passing grade in…
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • A flute for Dustin

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dustin had taken leave from his services in the army to get married. No sooner was the wedding over, Dustin got a call from the army directing him to to resume his duties with immediate effect. He was informed that he was stationed in Vietnam.for 2 years. After he reached Vietnam, he really started to miss his wife. He sent a mail to her. It read, "Sweetheart, it seems like I am going to be here for a long time. I miss you terribly. You know the local girls here are quite attractive and its so hard to fight the temptation. I guess I will have to take up some hobby to keep my mind from…
  • Missing mule

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan lived in the country and wanted to go to town to find some work.So one fine day, he headed for town riding his mule. When he reached, Nathan went to an eatery to catch some grub, tying his mule outside. When he came out, he found his mule was missing! He searched for his beloved mule all day but it had just vanished. He stayed in the town for a couple of days looking for his missing friend, but could not find him.Disappointed and demoralized, he decided to return to his village. He boarded a train to go back.He was lying down on his berth, when he could hear a couple groping and…
  • Won't lie to a dying man

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Peter Jones was lying on his deathbed. His family was there next to him - his wife Paula and his three sons. While two of his sons, Patrick and Pedro were handsome and well-built, the third son, Jeremy, was extremely ugly.Peter says to his wife in a weak voice, "Paula dear, there is something that I always wanted to ask you. I can't go in peace unless I know. Is Jeremy really my son? Please tell me the truth. I will forgive you if you tell me the truth."Paula strokes his hair gently and answers, "Yes, Jeremy is your son. I swear by God that you are his father. I would not lie to a dying…
  • The problems with old age

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Desmond, Gary and Michael - all gentlemen of age 80 plus are enjoying each others company in a park in Washington DC.Desmond brings up the subject of life at their age, and says, "It's a wretched life. I am at an age where I can afford exotic food. You all know what a foodie I am. But the doctor will allow me only boiled vegetables."Gary has his own tale of woes. He says, "I sure agree with Desmond. When I come to a point in my life where I can afford the best wines, what do I have? A bad liver. It sucks."Michael joins the cribbing club and says, "I know the feeling folks. Last night, I woke…
  • Cherrapunji

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Janco, a tourist from China visited Cherrapunji in India. Janco was unaware of the fact that Cherrapunji is one of the wettest places on earth. It was raining the day Janco arrived. It rained the next day and the day after that. She was there for almost a week and there was not a day without rain.Sipping a cup of hot tea at a local joint, she saw a kid and asked him, "Hello, does it ever stop raining in this town?"The little fellow replied, "How would I know? I am only 5."
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Knocked flat

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Jack was walking on a footpath when he stepped off it and into the road, without looking left or right. He was immediately knocked flat by a cyclist.The burly cyclist said to Jack, "You are one hell of a lucky guy."Jack, who hadn't yet picked himself up, yelled, "What do you mean? You crashed into me and it really hurt!"The cyclist said, "I normally drive a truck."
  • Watch out for worms!

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Bob and Rick were having mangoes during their lunch break in school. Bob said to Rick, "My mom always tells me watch out for worms in the mangoes."Rick said, "I don't care. They can watch out for themselves."
  • Social worker

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Meena was a social worker who was involved in a lot of reform work.During her research on girls working in massage parlours in Thailand, he came across a girl called Lily involved in that particular profession.Meena asked Lily, "Why did you choose this particular profession?"Lily replied, "I am neck deep in debt. I have borrowed from this gangster called Paul. Now I am rubbing peters to pay Paul."
  • Quest of a man

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Aaron was seated in front of his psychiatrist. Dr. Hans asked him, "Tell me Aaron, what do you look for in a girl?"Aaron replied, "Huge assets."Dr. Hans asked, "You are not getting me. When you are serious about a relationship, what do you look for in a girl?"Aaron replied, "I seriously look for huge assets."Dr. Hans said, "I don't think you are getting me, Aaron. What is it that you aspire in your quest for that one girl with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?"Aaron said, "You mean the rest of my life? No girl's assets are THAT huge!"
  • New red bicycle

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Harry, the village idiot, was leading his herd of sheep to graze when he noticed Dustin, another idiot, riding on a brand new red bicycle.Intrigued, Harry asked, "Hey, where did you find such a lovely cycle?"Dustin said, "You won't believe what happened yesterday. I was on my way home from the town fair, when this gorgeous girl rode up to me on her bicycle. She stopped, got off the bicycle and beckoned me to the paddy fields. She then removed all her clothes and asked me to take whatever I wanted."Harry smiled and said, "Good choice. You would not have looked nice in girls clothing anyways."
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #9: The Y Team

    Daniel Newton
    13 Nov 2014 | 8:08 pm
    Click here to go to last week's episode... Click here to go back to the start... Happy Friday,  A new web comic episode for you today. Hooray! And this is a particularly freaky-awesome. Enjoy, Daniel :-) Click here to go to last week's episode... Click here to go back to the start...
  • 'After the storm comes the sunshine' painting by Daniel Grant Newton

    Daniel Newton
    9 Nov 2014 | 9:23 pm
    'After the storm comes the sunshine' painting by Daniel Grant Newton Hey you! :-) Thought I'd share a painting I recently finished.  I've been feeling the storm clouds of life over the last few weeks, but I know that things will get better and the sunshine will return, and so that was part of the inspiration for this painting ... the other BIGGER part was the charity I am
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #8: Woo Hoo! Condroodoo.

    Daniel Newton
    6 Nov 2014 | 7:01 pm
    Click here to go to the previous episode... Click here to go to the next episode... Click here to go to the very first episode... Happy Freaky Friday! - from Daniel :-) P.S. Look out for the word of the day "crank" submitted by Anabel Caroline.  If you want to see a word in the next webcomic episode, then put in the comments below!
  • Episode #7 of Freaky Freaky Fridays ... with special guests Lodbrok and Ariella-Maria (webcomic)

    Daniel Newton
    30 Oct 2014 | 5:27 pm
    Click here for the previous episode. Click here to go to the next episode. Click here to go back to the start... Hey hey hey!   Got a very different, but 'funk-di-fied' episode for you today, with two special guests from my novel The Last King of Shambhala. I hope you enjoy the webcomic, have a freaky great Halloween if you're a vampire Batman or a sexy zombie doctor, and a freaky great
  • FFF Episode #6 (Web Comic): The One-Eyed Snake Charmer

    Daniel Newton
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:19 pm
    Click here for the previous episode... Click here for the next episode... Click here to go back to the start... Happy Freaky Friday! Enjoy episode 6 of the Condroodoo's most funky, most rock'n'roll webcomic ever.  Possibly.  Probably, since I made Condroodoo up for the sake of the comic. Click
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  • Funny wedding photos #1

    9 Nov 2014 | 1:33 am
    Some wedding are really crazy…  
  • Car crash compilation

    13 Apr 2014 | 8:57 am
    Five minutes of car crash compilation
  • Perfect parking

    13 Apr 2014 | 8:33 am
    Not only he drive in one wheel…
  • 23 Sep 2013 | 9:32 pm

    23 Sep 2013 | 9:32 pm
    Taylor Swift’s Top 3 Boyfriends Once the darling of country music, artist Taylor Swift has gone on to become one of the biggest recording artists in the world. Her high profile has helped her sell millions of records worldwide, in addition to propelling her celebrity status into the stratosphere. Along the way, Taylor has been covered as much for her music and her fashion choices as for her at times tumultuous relationships – often with similarly high profile celebrities. There’s been a few of them, but Taylor’s relationships are often the direct inspiration for her hit songs,…
  • Bentley the Bulldog Puppy is fussy

    12 Apr 2013 | 2:21 am
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  • It’s True, The Mayor IS Alive

    The Mayor
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:54 pm
    Call it a Christmas miracle, The Mayor is alive. Do you want to know what a true miracle would have been? If The Mayor was actually near death and somehow pulled through, but that’s nowhere near the truth. The truth isn’t important, what is important is that this shit-can website is back and running and the posts will start flowing like illegal/legal Mexicans through a porous American border. Though not right away, The Mayor is busy for the next few days. Maybe Fenris might put up a post or three, if someone can wake him from his drunken stupor. Mitchieville is back in business.
  • Baking Bread In The Black & Decker Automatic Breadmaker 2000 With Sean Connery

    The Mayor
    24 Mar 2014 | 4:57 pm
    Shay, what do you think of the big collar, Hawaiian shirt under a shport’s jacket look I’m shportin’? Ya, it’s pretty shitty, isn’t it? Sean Connery knows that with each pashing day he’s shtarting to resemble a human catheter more and more, but that doesn’t mean I shtill can’t make the most kick ash loaf of bread you’ll ever eat. Case in point, I am preparing some delishish Apple Oat Bread. You need to ashemble a cast of indrediants firsht: milk, apple jiush, butta, shuga. shalt, chinomon, white flour, oats, and a bunch of dry yeasht.
  • Malaysian 777 Found

    The Mayor
    21 Mar 2014 | 7:10 am
    Typically The Mayor would scoff at a story such as this, but the evidence is the evidence, and ya can’t beat the evidence. Imagine, the 777 was hijacked by aliens. ISLAMIC alien hijackers, no doubt.
  • The Man Hug – It Ends Today

    The Mayor
    18 Mar 2014 | 8:27 am
    Other than sticking your fingers inside a smelly Tim Horton’s coffee cup in order to roll up the rim in the hopes of winning a donut or coffee, or drinking out of another persons water bottle, there are very few things in life as appalling as The Man Hug. We, as a peoples, managed to live on this earth for the better part of 72, 850 years without The Man Hug, but somewhere around 2005, some arsehole, or arseholes found it necessary to introduce this scourge into our every day life. This abomination must stop. And it must stop today. There are very few reasons to embrace another man. If…
  • The Accelerationist Candidate

    Fenris Badwulf
    17 Mar 2014 | 12:05 pm
    The Toronto Sun has a poll out showing that Olivia Chow, the vanguard candidate of the South Of Bloor (SOB’s) hyphenated-Canadians out in the lead. Great. John Tory, the Conservative in name only, is bleeding votes from crack Mayor Ford. So, take your pick: which gravy train candidate do you want? Olivia, or John. Do you think the system can be ‘reformed’? Do you believe that the only way the system can be reformed is to collapse? The collapse is called The Great Unburdening. The unburdening of the state is the only solution then one should accelerate this collapse. So, vote…
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    Funky Downtown

  • Differences Between Rich Men And Poor Men

    24 Oct 2014 | 11:41 pm
    If you think you are poor, find out why! It’s because you yourself want to be a poor man… What are in the mind of poor man vs rich man: 1. Poor man:I can’t make it Rich man: How to do to make it 2. Poor man: It’s impossible to win Rich man: I must […]
  • World’s Toughest Job Director Of Operations

    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Very touch prank video, which is also an ad from a greeting card company. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no break, no holiday, no pay…world’s toughest job ‘Director of Operations’ aka ‘Moms’! American Greetings enlisted the help of Boston-based advertising agency Mullen for its Mother’s Day campaign this […]
  • World’s Most Expensive Easter Egg

    15 Apr 2014 | 1:59 am
    This is the world’s most expensive Easter egg! So if you think you have no idea where and how to spend your money, just consider in buying it; it just costs you few million dollars only…lol. A cross between a Faberge egg and the Damien Hirst skull, the ‘Mirage’ is a unique gem that only […]
  • 8 Pairs of Unusual But Adorable Twins

    15 Apr 2014 | 1:40 am
  • Five-metre Oarfish Found Dead in Mexican Beach

    15 Apr 2014 | 1:32 am
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    Fair City News

  • MSU Opens Community Catbox
    14 Nov 2014 | 5:24 am
    Crappin’ cats take court Springfield, MO – Though it will be used in the summer as a sand volleyball court, MSU athletic department officials  have come to an agreement with CCLS (Crazy Cat Ladies of Springfield), to utilize the new, enormous sand pit as a gathering place in the off season for both stray and kept cats in Central Springfield. Myrtle Stokely, current president of CCLS, told Fair City News that they have simply been seeking equal rights for felines ever since the city opened a dog park on the south side several years ago. “Do cats not merit equal rights and…
  • Snake Oil
    12 Nov 2014 | 6:50 am
  • Cold Prevents Zombie Uprising
    31 Oct 2014 | 5:56 am
    Surveillance camera captures zombies fearing cold temps Springfield, MO – Insiders learned that hundreds of undead have postponed plans to overtake Springfield, MO due to frigid temperatures during a breach in a zombie gathering today beneath the city in a tunnel near downtown. “I hear them say ‘too cold’ and ‘postpone’ in between disjointed moans,” said Alex Lopinop, a zombie hunter and founder of Zombies In Our Nation (Z.I.O.N). Lopinop is a world-renowned zombie hunter and has been stationed in Greene County for several months tracking, monitoring and taking out threatening…
  • Persimmon Chopsticks Seed Indicate GODZILLA!
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    Persimmon seed chopsticks predict monster invasion Springfield, MO – According to weather folklore, the seed of a persimmon can give clues about an upcoming winter’s weather patterns; the fork, knife and spoon shapes are indicators to what winter may hold. However, this fall the seeds have yielded a rare shape, the chopsticks, and speculation is rampant as horticulturists try to find a meaning behind the message. “Chopsticks in a persimmon seed? Never heard of it,” said native Ozarker Eric Timmonsber, “Seems like someone planted their persimmons incorrectly.” Others are less…
  • Man Attempts Leaficide
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    Man covers self with leaves, hopes for motorist Springfield, MO – Large trees are often considered beautiful especially during the fall when leaves change color in bright bursts of red, orange and yellow, however, one resident became overwhelmed by the falling foliage this weekend and was found in a leaf pile on the street after an attempted leaficdie outside his home. Neighbors said they heard moaning and complaining coming from the man’s backyard all weekend but none expected this type of behavior from a well-rounded, respected home owner. “He was howling and cursing all weekend.
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    Noise to Signal

  • My humps

    2 Nov 2014 | 11:44 pm
    It may not look like it, but this cartoon was 16 years in the making. (Give that drawing a driver’s license!) I first had the idea for it in 1998. I can even remember where: the NOW Communications office at 401 West Georgia. I related it to a few friends, who snickered and urged me to draw it, so I did. And discovered I really couldn’t draw camels. I’d say they looked like hideously mutated cows, except I couldn’t draw cows, either. (Still can’t. It’s a form of lactose intolerance.) But a decade and a half makes a difference. So here you go. By the way,…
  • Just some troll

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:11 pm
    There is no shortage of hot-button issues to yell at other about on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. (Maybe less so on Pinterest. The comments seem a lot more civilized there.) And it’s really, really easy to decide the other party in a shouting match is a troll, because nobody could seriously believe the outrageous crap they’re spouting, right? Enter Alexandra Samuel’s “How to Survive an Online Sex Scandal,” spurred by a recent Canadian controversy. (To my American friends who think that’s an oxymoron, how dare you?!) It’s not, as the name suggests, a…
  • Recreational misogyny

    12 Oct 2014 | 1:28 am
    I’m starting to think we’ve reached a tipping point on the issue of misogyny in video games in particular, and a big chunk of tech culture more generally. To get here, it’s taken a lot of courage from a lot of women. One of the most notable is Anita Sarkeesian, whose video series has done more than anything else I can think of to force a conversation on the issue. It’s also drawn a backlash: some of the ugliest, most vicious responses I’ve ever seen. There’s a lot further to go. If you’d like to support her work, you can make a donation here. Updated:…
  • Ello isn’t Facebook. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

    25 Sep 2014 | 4:07 pm
    A new social network has launc— WAIT! Don’t run away! For quite a while, Alex and I were constantly hearing from people who wanted us to help them build “the Facebook of x“, where x was some industrial vertical, demographic or affinity group. Nearly all of those folks hadn’t taken into account the fact that, with a large and growing share of the population, Facebook was already the Facebook of x. But now there’s Ello, which has no ambitions to be the Facebook of anything. They don’t want to be Facebook at all: Your social network is owned by advertisers.
  • You mess up, we break your thumb… drive.

    5 Sep 2014 | 1:53 pm
    Corrupt cops and politicians? Bruno and me, we like ‘em. Corrupt removable media? Naw, that ain’t so good. That’s the sort of thing that makes me and Bruno upset. And when we get upset, we like to hack things. Only Bruno, here, he doesn’t hack with a computer, you get what I’m sayin’? He’s more like what you’d call a social engineer, except he beats the crap outta you. We’re lettin’ you off light, you know: muss up your hair a little, wrinkle that shirt up, give ya something to think about. But lemme tell you: if Kingston Technology…
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    Words, Pictures, Humor

  • Not buying: the new stealing

    12 Nov 2014 | 9:48 am
    Here’s my cartoon in this week’s New Yorker, done with Black Friday in mind. But it could also apply to anytime in December, or early January, or President’s weekend if it was at a car dealership, or Valentine’s Day, or – you get the idea. This is America, after all. Does anybody else sometimes feel like you’ve got to sneak out of a store if you’ve been there awhile and haven’t bought anything? My initial sketch cut the figures off at the knees, which is an awkward place to do it. The are no rules for this kind of thing, at least nowhere in the…
  • Paleo Gym

    9 Sep 2014 | 2:20 pm
    I’m in the New Yorker again this week with a cartoon began as this idea: Yup. “The gym,” with some cavemen standing around and large boulders on the ground. It’s a fragment of an idea, that I wrote down a while ago and figured that I’d do something with it later. But I kept looking at it and thinking “meh” and moving on to other fully-realized ideas. This happens a lot. When I go to draw my weekly batch, I paw through my sketchbook and if a concept requires too much work, then sometimes I leave it for another day. I did that a couple times with this,…
  • What does your wine label say about you?

    18 Aug 2014 | 6:00 pm
    I don’t know anything about wine (although I did this cartoon about the language of wine). I prefer whiskey, honestly. But sometimes you have to buy a bottle of wine. And when I do, I’m just as likely to be influenced by the label as anything else, because – yeah, art. I made a list over at Curator about the different categories of wine label design, and what each says about it’s buyer. Read it here.  
  • Wrecking Brush

    17 Aug 2014 | 6:13 pm
    The 21st Precinct police building, on East 22nd St in New York City, is a long-defunct building targeted for demolition. But before it gets the wrecking ball, it is the temporary home of a plethora of great wall art, curated by Robert Aloia. Brooklyn Street Art has the story behind the exhibit as well as a good documentation of images, so I won’t merely repost anything that you can see there. But I went to the opening this weekend (it is up for one more week) and here are some shots from that. It was hot, crowded, and claustrophobic, but as they wrote at BSA, there aren’t too…
  • While Supplies Last!

    18 Jul 2014 | 6:33 am
    I just uploaded a t-shirt design to TeePublic. It’s only $14 today, but will be $20 after. Hey, I think it’s worth it at either price, but why not get it now?
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    Iced Borscht » Iced Borscht

  • One to Grow On

    14 Nov 2014 | 9:25 am
    There are two rules to living well. The first is, don’t sweat the little shit. The second is, it’s all little shit. In other words, it’s all okay. We may be lost, but we’re way ahead of schedule. — poet soul-warrior David Lee Roth  

    12 Nov 2014 | 12:35 pm
    2015 Social Justice Kittens Calendar by Sean Tejaratchi (h/t @Heminator) UPDATE: My mom did me a solid and purchased this item for me.
  • “…every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.”

    4 Nov 2014 | 11:14 am
    The state—or, to make the matter more concrete, the government — consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can’t get, and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time it is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of…
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:55 am
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:55 am
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:55 am
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:55 am
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    21 Nov 2014 | 12:55 am
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
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    Krapsody - the place to find out of the ordinary humor.

  • Go Ahead, Meme Me

    20 Nov 2014 | 9:00 am
    |Nov. 20, 2014 "1,478,954,217,389 allegations of rape? Have another pudding pop. Zipzopzubittybop!" - Bill Cosby (sources: childhood ruined -- *sobs uncontrollably) [Read Full Story]
  • Boss Hogg Desperately Seeking Sugar Baby

    14 Nov 2014 | 8:00 am
    | Nov. 14, 2014 Recently Georgia State University ranked at the top of the list of 20 colleges with the highest number of sugar babies. For those unfamiliar with the practice, a sugar baby is a young person who provides companionship to an older sugar daddy (or mommy) in exchange for money and... [Read Full Story]
  • In Memoriam of Jollybags

    6 Nov 2014 | 7:00 am
    | Nov. 16, 2014 Dear whomever left a used condom at the end of my driveway, Please quit leaving your discarded prophylactics lying around for others to see, or possibly have to pickup. It was basically lying in the street, but still. You are disgusting. Did you drop it there because you wanted... [Read Full Story]
  • Survey Says Ebola Is a Real Thing That Is Just About as Dangerous as Cigarettes

    29 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    | Oct. 29, 2014 The Ebola virus (or E-bola, the electronic virus that infects computers), an epidemic in West Africa, has spread to computers worldwide, leading the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team to declare an emergency. The team is working closely with Intel Security to... [Read Full Story]
  • Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Puts the Nasty in Dynasty

    30 Dec 2013 | 10:54 am
    | Dec. 30, 2013 In this stunning, never-before-seen and recently uncovered video, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has some hobbies that most people will find far outside the mainstream. Drink up, wise quacker, your beard needs lots of nourishment--giving the rest of us a real reason to "fear... [Read Full Story]
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    Comedy Of A Cowgirl

  • Writing of a Song

    OL Shepp
    19 Nov 2014 | 11:46 am
    “Keep what’s worth keeping, never mind what you might’ve lost Remember what’s worth remembering, forget what you’ve already forgot Love those worth loving, though they’ve been known to hate and Live, cause life’s worth living, because now is never too late.” -O.L. Shepp The Music of our lives Filed under: Entertainment, lyrics, Music, quotes, song, writing Tagged: Arts, lyrics, music, quotes, Songs, writing
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • A flute for Dustin

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dustin had taken leave from his services in the army to get married. No sooner was the wedding over, Dustin got a call from the army directing him to to resume his duties with immediate effect. He was informed that he was stationed in Vietnam.for 2 years. After he reached Vietnam, he really started to miss his wife. He sent a mail to her. It read, "Sweetheart, it seems like I am going to be here for a long time. I miss you terribly. You know the local girls here are quite attractive and its so hard to fight the temptation. I guess I will have to take up some hobby to keep my mind from…
  • Missing mule

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan lived in the country and wanted to go to town to find some work.So one fine day, he headed for town riding his mule. When he reached, Nathan went to an eatery to catch some grub, tying his mule outside. When he came out, he found his mule was missing! He searched for his beloved mule all day but it had just vanished. He stayed in the town for a couple of days looking for his missing friend, but could not find him.Disappointed and demoralized, he decided to return to his village. He boarded a train to go back.He was lying down on his berth, when he could hear a couple groping and…
  • Won't lie to a dying man

    Mitesh Asher
    19 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Peter Jones was lying on his deathbed. His family was there next to him - his wife Paula and his three sons. While two of his sons, Patrick and Pedro were handsome and well-built, the third son, Jeremy, was extremely ugly.Peter says to his wife in a weak voice, "Paula dear, there is something that I always wanted to ask you. I can't go in peace unless I know. Is Jeremy really my son? Please tell me the truth. I will forgive you if you tell me the truth."Paula strokes his hair gently and answers, "Yes, Jeremy is your son. I swear by God that you are his father. I would not lie to a dying…
  • The problems with old age

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Desmond, Gary and Michael - all gentlemen of age 80 plus are enjoying each others company in a park in Washington DC.Desmond brings up the subject of life at their age, and says, "It's a wretched life. I am at an age where I can afford exotic food. You all know what a foodie I am. But the doctor will allow me only boiled vegetables."Gary has his own tale of woes. He says, "I sure agree with Desmond. When I come to a point in my life where I can afford the best wines, what do I have? A bad liver. It sucks."Michael joins the cribbing club and says, "I know the feeling folks. Last night, I woke…
  • Cherrapunji

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Nov 2014 | 12:01 am
    Janco, a tourist from China visited Cherrapunji in India. Janco was unaware of the fact that Cherrapunji is one of the wettest places on earth. It was raining the day Janco arrived. It rained the next day and the day after that. She was there for almost a week and there was not a day without rain.Sipping a cup of hot tea at a local joint, she saw a kid and asked him, "Hello, does it ever stop raining in this town?"The little fellow replied, "How would I know? I am only 5."
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    Daniel Drummond Harvey

  • In praise of adhesive tape

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:48 am
    I recently wrote to Astrid Lejeune, Secretary General of Afera, the European Adhesive Tape Association. This is what I wrote: Dear Astrid Lejeune, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for the adhesive tape industry in Europe. Some people prefer other adhesive products. Not me! I prefer adhesive tape. If one runs out of adhesive tape when wrapping gifts, “No More Nails® Heavy Duty Instant Grab Construction Adhesive” is an entirely unsuitable alternative. It can cause significant damage to both the wrapping paper and the gift itself. However, while the damage to the…
  • The Homebase Long Reach Watering Can

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to Paul Loft, Managing Director of Homebase: Dear Paul Loft, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for Homebase, the leading home enhancement retailer selling over 38,000 products for the home and garden (I didn’t count them myself! I took this information on trust from your website). One could say that I have one home and two gardens – however, this is not as strange as it sounds; I simply have both a front garden and a back garden. I tend to refer to the front garden as “the front garden” and the back garden as, simply,…
  • A problem with “The Jeremy Kyle Show”

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:05 am
    I recently wrote to Jon Millership, producer of the ITV1 daytime television show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”. This is what I wrote to him: Dear Jon Millership, I am a big fan of the show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, in which guests attempt to resolve personal problems with the aid of the show’s host, Jeremy Kyle. I particularly like the show’s emphasis on traditional family values (as you may know, traditional family values are currently being eroded). Considering how many people he has helped on “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, I am surprised that Jeremy Kyle…
  • A film idea for Jerry Bruckheimer

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    3 Oct 2014 | 9:18 am
    I recently sent the following email to the Hollywood “movie” producer Jerry Bruckheimer: Dear Jerry Bruckheimer, I am a big fan of your films (movies). My favourite film (of your films) is “Top Gun” starring Tom Cruise, which tells the story of a young aviator’s adventures at the Fighter Weapons School in San Diego. I have an excellent idea for a film, which I hope you will be interested in producing. The film is called “The End Of The World Is Nighy”. It tells the story of the English actor Bill Nighy, star of “The Phantom of the Opera: The…
  • The work of Bryan Adams

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to the 1990s pop singer Bryan Adams: Dear Bryan Adams, I am writing to you because I am a huge fan of your work! Generally, I do not like pop music – it is too loud (unless I turn the volume down!) and I rarely understand the words, but your music is different. Of all of your songs, my favourite is “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, which features on the “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” soundtrack album. It was a shame that “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” lost out on the 1991 Academy Award for Best Original…
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    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • Best Halloween Candy, According to Us

    Lori Culwell
    13 Nov 2014 | 5:22 pm
    Well well well, is it mid-November already?   I feel like it was just October, and we were just watching the Shining in the dark with all the lights out so we didn't have to give out any candy, all Scrooge-like.  Actually, we just do that for effect.  We never get any trick-or-treaters anymore.  Is trick-or-treating even still a thing?   Here's that Halloween Candy post everyone seems to like, just in case you haven't read it.   That was from back when we actually DID give out candy. Now, though, we don't eat as much candy anymore, but we did have quite an amusing conversation about it.
  • Stephan and Hudson start a band...

    Lori Culwell
    6 Nov 2014 | 8:56 pm
    via Instagram

    Lori Culwell
    3 Nov 2014 | 12:54 pm
    via Instagram
  • New! Fresh! Exciting!

    Lori Culwell
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:26 pm
    So, two new things for today!   For one, I wrote an article encouraging you to get yourself a website so you don't miss your "big moment" when it arrives.  You can find that right here.  If you read that article, you might notice that I mention a course on websites, so I am going to go ahead and make an announcement about that now as well.  You guys!  MY FIRST COURSE HAS LAUNCHED!    I am super excited about it.  It's called "How to Make a Website," and I can honestly say I put a ton of work into it (like, most of this year), and if you have a website or need a website, I think this…
  • What could this possibly mean? #confusing

    Lori Culwell
    1 Oct 2014 | 10:18 am
    via Instagram
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    Now That's Nifty

  • 15 Unique and Cool Wedding Rings

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:58 pm
    Wedding rings don't have to be boring bands, or regular old solitaires. No, wedding bands can be a reflection of your personality, even if you personality is extremely annoying. Check out these 15... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Cute Dog Teaches Cute Baby How to Jump Cutely

    19 Nov 2014 | 8:18 am
    Well if this isn't adorable, I don't know what is. This dog seems to be teaching this baby how to jump. Thanks Liftable ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Epic Dude Rides Mountain Bike Epically

    17 Nov 2014 | 9:07 am
    The Ridge is the brand new film from Danny Macaskill... For the first time in one of his films Danny climbs aboard a mountain bike and returns to his native home of the Isle of Skye in Scotland to... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Sketchy Water Fountain

    14 Nov 2014 | 12:59 pm
    First of all, water is gross. Second, water from a bathroom is gross. Third, water that appears to be connected to urinals, delicious. Thanks Bits and Pieces ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Nifty Link Dump

    14 Nov 2014 | 12:55 pm
    Here are some cool links from Look at This and Bits and Pieces. 46 Brilliant Life Hacks Every Human Being Needs To Make Life Easier World’s Foremost Bedpan Collector’s Collection Rigging up... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
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    Funny pictures and photos

  • Funny telephone picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    16 Nov 2014 | 11:24 am
    Many years passed since those old telephones. This funny phone picture shows who is the grandmother of the cell phones that we all use today. It's a cartoon so it would be quite more entertaining. I really enjoy it and this is a reason to think about the past.By the way here you can check Top 100 Cell Phones & Accessories.
  • Funny cat picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    26 Oct 2014 | 3:29 pm
    Cats are so lovely animals! ♥ Really often we meet cats on the street, in the park... They look so kind and lovely and you would have liked to take them home... Here is one funny cat pic that will show you such a different and interesting situation of such a cat that I am not sure what likes more- the food or the people in the house! LoL...Here are another cute and funny cats.
  • Funny weight loss picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    26 Sep 2014 | 2:05 pm
    This looks like a good and funny weight loss pic. Looks interesting and true...By the way, here is a good weight loss product that will surely help you lose weight fast and 100% healthy!
  • Funny giraffe picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    6 Sep 2014 | 11:48 am
    Hi. This is a really funny giraffe pic I am not really sure why it is over the tree, but it looks crazy and entertaining :DAlso, check out this funny cat pic.
  • Funny cat picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    11 Jul 2014 | 5:50 am
    Hello everybody. Today I found one really interesting and entertaining cat pic that I am sure you will like. A cat and a mouse together, go check it out below!By the way, here is another cool and funny cat picture that is currently on a diet! Visit to find out more regarding labrador retriever health problems.
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Pozo and Mr. Savage

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Nov 2014 | 10:09 am
    They lived on the margins of society as a travelling entertainment act. A classic clown-and-baboon show, in the old Czech style. They had terrorized a generation of Eastern European children. Pozo the Clown (once known to his family and a … Continue reading →
  • Selected Media Fads Through the Ages

    Mark A. Rayner
    3 Nov 2014 | 4:45 am
    24,000-22,000 BC: chunky fertility goddess statues (pictured at right: notice the prominent and large brains.) 10,000 BC: cave painting 4,000 BC: ziggurat construction 3,000-1,250 BC: pyramid raising (later revived by Mesoamericans and I.M. Pei) 1480-1700: Witch burning 1500s: homoerotic sonnet … Continue reading →
  • The Tyranny and Creativity of a Word Count

    Mark A. Rayner
    29 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    On the other hand, a really specific (short) word limit can force one to be more creative and improve the text. I love the Blaise Pascal quote: “This letter is very long because I did not have time to make … Continue reading →
  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
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    Chandra Clarke

  • All Talk And No Action

    Chandra Clarke
    7 Nov 2014 | 8:23 am
    Chandra Clarke When you have been to as many conferences as I have, especially those dealing with politics and public policy, you start to see the same people. Not necessarily the same faces, but the same types. Let’s see if you recognize some of them too: Details, Details — This is the fellow who, who presented with a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Many Are Called, But…

    Chandra Clarke
    26 Oct 2014 | 6:26 am
    Chandra Clarke If you live in a city, you probably think that cell phones are ubiquitous. You see people using them in the grocery store, or while driving their car and even while in the bathroom. As hard as it may be to believe, there are still plenty of places in the world where cell phone coverage […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Dear Facebook, please ban motivational quote pictures

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Chandra Clarke Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some positive thinking and encouraging words. But if I see one more post that quotes the Dalai Lama, Albert Einstein, or Sophocles, I may barf. You see, before digitization made it uber easy to share inspirational words, we only got occasional doses of motivation by picking up a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Wake Up And Smell The Tiger

    Chandra Clarke
    27 Sep 2014 | 8:44 am
    Chandra Clarke On those days when you’re fed up with your job, it’s always wise to remember that it probably doesn’t rank as one of the worst in the world. Consider the folks who are currently developing a pest repellent based on… tiger dung. Indeed, rank is probably the key word here. Leave aside for the moment […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • You’ve Been Warned

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Sep 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Chandra Clarke We live in the age of the legal arms race. On one side, lawyers like to launch lawsuits against companies whom they say have failed to provide adequate warnings or instructions for their products. For the most part, this is a valuable service, and the legitimate lawsuits keep companies (or individuals) accountable. Of course there […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
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    Sweet Mother

  • The Youtube Experience, As I See It

    Anonymous Good Person
    10 Nov 2014 | 3:45 pm
      A new “My So Called Digital Life” post comes out on Thursday. Stay tuned. Oh and if you’re in the mood for more stuff, there’s always MY NEW OBSESSION, CLICK NOW!
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    Stuff You Couldn't Make Up

  • Sea Lion Jumps Inside Boat

    8 Nov 2014 | 5:36 pm
    Crazy Sea Lion jumps on boat. Watch him as he swims fast and chases the boat after he smells the fish. Then he jumps on board to get a taste. The post Sea Lion Jumps Inside Boat appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Could Not Connect to Translation Service

    3 Nov 2014 | 9:25 pm
    At least it is spelled right! Could not connect to translation service The post Could Not Connect to Translation Service appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Happiness and Sleep Are Closely Related

    3 Nov 2014 | 9:18 pm
    Happiness is not having to set your alarm for the next day! The post Happiness and Sleep Are Closely Related appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • I Am Just Calling to Say…

    3 Nov 2014 | 9:08 pm
    The post I Am Just Calling to Say… appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Differences in Police Cars Around the World

    29 Oct 2014 | 11:58 am
      Finland wins this one hands down! The post Differences in Police Cars Around the World appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
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    The Daft Gadgets Daily Rant

  • The Newest Redcat Racing 1/10 Scale Brushless RC Truck & SUV is the Blackout

    Jason Scott
    7 Nov 2014 | 12:19 pm
    Are you ready for an adrenaline explosion? Fast and powerful, the Blackout XTE PRO is equipped with a powerful KV3800 brushless electric motor, with heat sink, and forward/reverse ESC. Ready to run out of the box, the Blackout XTE PRO is eager to heat up the neighborhood. Complete with LIPO battery and charger, this monster truck has everything needed to get started. Shaft driven 4WD provides you with the necessary traction to maneuver the toughest obstacles and the forward/reverse ESC is beneficial in navigating tight spots. Lightweight plastic chassis, four aluminum capped oil filled coil…
  • Redcat Racing’s Rampage Chimera EP Pro in Action

    Jason Scott
    15 Jul 2014 | 7:18 am
      The new Redcat Rampage Chimera EP Pro Recently Redcat Racing launched the new Chimera EP Pro 1/5th scale RC sand rail RC buggy.  With dual 11.1v LIPO batteries, 2.4GHZ control, 150A electronic speed controller and brushless motor, the Rampage Chimera arrives ready to run! Check out the video below for the action. Sneak Preview Redcat Racing 1 5 Scale Gas Rampage Redcat Racing Rampage CHIMERA SR 1 5 Scale Gas Sand Rail. Meet the newest member of the Redact Racing Rampage Family the 1 5 Scale Gas Sand Rail CHIMERA SR. With the same great motor you’ve come to love.… redcat…
  • RC Vehicle Will Not Start When Starter Cord is Pulled

    Jason Scott
    1 Apr 2014 | 5:32 am
    Concern: My vehicle will not start up when I pull the starter cable. Solution: The initial point that lots of brand-new owners of Nitro Cars should understand is that a Glow Plug Igniter is required. The Glow Plug Igniter needs to be completely charged before affixing it to the glow plug. If it is totally charged and it is affixed to the Glow Plug a good connection will be made. Secondly, if the above is done correctly you need to inspect to see if the problem is that gas is reaching the carburetor. This can be accomplished by holding your finger over the exhaust opening and providing a…
  • RC Air Filters: A Quick Tip on Protecting Your Redcat Racing Engine

    Jason Scott
    24 Mar 2014 | 5:50 am
    Be it a gas or nitro engine, the most vital thing you can do is keep the evil dirt and wetness out. Dirt is the most harmful predator to a gas or nitro engine and we can keep it out with correct air filter upkeep. Keep your air filter clean and make use of air filter pretreatment oil. A Clean air filter A clean redcat air filter permits your engine to breathe effectively. A blocked air filter will trigger an engine to run rich, which will not harm the engine, simply trigger poor efficiency. If the filter is covered in dirt, it might trigger some air to slip into small spaces in between the…
  • 10 Quick and Easy RC Racing and Setup Techniques

    Jason Scott
    17 Mar 2014 | 9:30 am
    Great ideas from on how you can prepare and setup for a race. 1. Neutral Setup Go with the box-stock setups and set up the popular tires at your track. When you do begin making modifications, make one at a time and see how it affects or improves your car’s performance. As you get a feel for the track design and your vehicle, gradually make your setup more aggressive. 2. Standards After your race, don’t focus too much on your lap times. When your average lap times get closer to your fastest lap time, you know you are improving. Everything else will fall in place. 3.
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    Love and Knuckles

  • An Inside Look At The Life Of A Stay-At-Home Dad

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:10 pm
    Stay-At-Home I found myself engulfed in a hilarious conversation one morning with a stay-at-home dad at school drop off about the frustrations that come when your toddler wants to start wearing makeup. “Let’s face it, my house is already trashed,” he said. “But these plastic makeup kits fall apart and guess who has to clean it up? Me!”  He also hated stickers and didn’t like it when his daughter posed in front of the mirror because he worried she would be focusing too much on how she looked. I couldn’t understand why we hadn’t already been…
  • A Letter To My Son On His 3rd Birthday

    19 Nov 2014 | 9:39 pm
    My Boy, Three years ago I went into labor after our neighbor Kim suggested I walk the malls to get things going. You were four days overdue and although I was becoming uncomfortable I was reminded of the advice of my OBGYN. “You know that when the baby comes out you will have to take care of him.” So I took a few laps around Nordstrom’s, picked up a pair of Tory Burch flats, and returned home to let your father know that I was pretty sure my water was about break all over the kitchen floor, but I’d need to eat an enormous bowl of spaghetti before I was trapped in a…
  • Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Premiere Recap

    18 Nov 2014 | 9:34 pm
    It was a new day in the Hills of Beverly.. The sun still rose and set. Implants were removed and replaced. Foreheads were frozen and Kyle, per tradition continued preparations for her annual party, which celebrates the bridal industry. Kyle Kyle was pleased with the way her daughters were growing, even Portia, the west coast Milania of Housewives offspring. Mauricio’s business had grown, so their white party had to accommodate his clients and local agents so he could cultivate relationships and use it as a tax write-off. 4 years ago it was just a family party with white couches and a…
  • My Invitation To Prince William and Kate To Visit Me in California

    17 Nov 2014 | 3:20 pm
    Dear TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, I understand next month you will visit New York City so you can carry out ambassadorial roles on behalf of programs for the U.K. Government. Would you like to switch up your plans and head out west? I suppose you could have a great time attending gala dinners, museums, and professional basketball games, but wouldn’t you rather hang out with some Americans in the suburbs of Southern California? Here’s what I am thinking. Cut your trip short and spend a day with me in Orange County.         You guys can sleep in my…
  • ‘RHONY’ Star Mario Singer’s EDITED Profile

    14 Nov 2014 | 11:33 am
    I was surprised to hear Mario Singer, Ramona’s soon-to-be ex-husband on Real Housewives of New York is on I know that everyone wants love, but when you are a star of that magnitude would you want to open yourself up to potential heartache? How would he find someone that was in it for the right reasons and not so they could be associated with a guy who used to be married to one of the ensemble members of a reality show about women? It’s a gamble. But what if I helped Mario? After all I did meet my husband on 11 years ago. Plus I’ve learned a couple…
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    The Idle Lord

  • A Critics’ Corner – Ch 11 – Leap of Faith

    18 Nov 2014 | 4:28 am
    FOREWORD – when I first attempted to write a book some five years ago, most of it came out without much structure and was held together by the editing skills of my old pal Judith. Every now and then I like to go back and dust off some stuff that I hope you will enjoy. […] Continue reading ... A Critics’ Corner – Ch 11 – Leap of Faith.
  • The Tea Boy

    14 Nov 2014 | 2:13 am
    Having done the hard yards stripping the Great Wall of Idle, it was now time to order it’s fancy new “coat”. So it was that I was now at the mercy of Brendan the Render’s crack team. Negotiations had been concluded the previous week with the usual pursing of lips, rolling of eyes and long […] Continue reading ... The Tea Boy.
  • Choices, Choices.

    7 Nov 2014 | 7:05 am
    When England cricketer Jonathon Trott left the 2013-14 Ashes series early to fly home from Australia, the official explanation blaming a stress related condition prompted several instant – and largely ignorant – media responses, as is common in this Twitter age. Trott maintained his own silence with immense dignity and his return to health and […] Continue reading ... Choices, Choices..
  • Baron Smudger, Elvis Costello and The Bogey Man.

    31 Oct 2014 | 1:18 am
    The rolling valleys of West Yorkshire used to be lined like giant trees by the mills that built huge fortunes. Most have now fallen by the wayside as we shipped our skills out to the Far East so Primark and Matalan could rule the high street. Some remain as sad ghosts of a past few […] Continue reading ... Baron Smudger, Elvis Costello and The Bogey Man..
  • I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”

    20 Oct 2014 | 6:44 am
    Here is a follow-on to last week’s post about the dire state of grassroots football. Taken from my award winning third book – my mum liked it – this is why my footballing career never rose out of the Sunday morning dog shit. I’M FRANZ BECKENBAUER! “Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble […] Continue reading ... I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”.
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    Barb Best

  • Smiles To Go!

    Barb Best
    18 Nov 2014 | 5:24 pm
      Coming soon! A picture book for all ages…     Send in the Clowns! Lighten Up, Japan! AATH Related articles Picture Book Month The Smiley Face Was Made In Worcester, And It’s Now 50 The post Smiles To Go! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Greeting Cards for People Who Adore the “F” Word

    Barb Best
    13 Nov 2014 | 9:33 am
      The “F” word. It’s everywhere you looks! In the culture, in the books. As Stephen Sondheim might say, “In the parlor, in the bed In the curtains, in the silver In the buttons, in the bread” Everyday a little “F.” Profanity is ubiquitous (don’t you love that word?) Interview on Fast Company: The popular […] The post Greeting Cards for People Who Adore the “F” Word appeared first on Barb Best.
  • I Feel Your Pain: Dead or Alive

    Barb Best
    6 Nov 2014 | 3:55 pm
      Can life be devoid of pain? I saw a billboard recently that advertised “TOTAL Sleep Dentistry.” On it was a hot, young blonde (is there any other kind in L.A.?) She was wearing an itsy bitsy red polka dot bikini (or was it a thong with Spandex pasties?) and a glistening smile. Her blinding […] The post I Feel Your Pain: Dead or Alive appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ!

    Barb Best
    28 Oct 2014 | 1:53 pm
      WHAT? A HEALTH QUIZ? HMMM…. WHICH IS IT? A REASON TO LIVE or A MIGRAINE TRIGGER?   1. Sleeping in late any chance you get   2. Mind-blowing rock concert at 115 decibels with laser light show   3. Family-size bag of dark chocolate drenched espresso beans   4. Cyclical estrogen dip followed by […] The post Migraine Trigger or Reason to Live? A HEALTH QUIZ! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Mindfulness, Meditation and Me

    Barb Best
    21 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
        MINDFUL AWARENESS can be defined as paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. It is an excellent antidote to the stresses of modern times. It invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one’s inner experience. - Diana Winston, Director for Mindfulness […] The post Mindfulness, Meditation and Me appeared first on Barb Best.
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • I Miss Out on a Great Disease

    Amy Vansant
    18 Nov 2014 | 4:48 am
    My parents have this thing where they don’t tell me a certain disease or inclination runs in our family until I get it.  When I had my first panic attack, my mother looked at me like I was crazy and blamed it on drinking too much. (Ok, fair enough.) When I had my second, an attack that had me running to the hospital, I told her the doctor thought I’d had, not a heart attack like I thought, but a panic attack. I mentioned this three for four times over the course of a week before Mom said: “Oh yeah. Your father gets those. Me too.” Whaaa? “Couldn’t…
  • Personalized Photo Holiday Card Ideas for People Without a Bunch of Adorable Children

    Amy Vansant
    3 Nov 2014 | 4:36 am
    Every year I get a slew of cards from friends and family covered with adorable photos of their children.  For the first few years I thought they were graphic design geniuses, and then I figured out they made personalized cards on, which is really easy. I knew they weren’t that talented. Problem is,  I don’t have kids.  So, I wondered… how could I use all those cool holiday card templates to create my own cards? No one wants to see Mike and me on a card. They can barely deal with us in person; they’re definitely not going to pin us to their…
  • Top Five Matthew McConaughey Halloween Costume Ideas & Jim Carrey SNL Spoof

    Amy Vansant
    27 Oct 2014 | 1:57 am
    Body paint yourself totally black. You are nothingness. One last midnight. If possible, bring a friend so you can walk hand and hand into extinction, brother and sister opting out of a raw deal. Paint only your left side black. Now  you are All Right, All Right, All Right. A giant bong. Put a giant disc around your center. You are time, and time is a flat circle. Walk into the party repeatedly, because everything you’ve ever done or will do, you’re gonna do over and over and over again. Don’t ever work out. Arrive at the party with a perfect physique.   Jim…
  • Note to a Cranky Muse

    Amy Vansant
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:12 pm
    My husband, Mike, is proud of me. He tells me this whenever I achieve a little victory. But I make my living as a web developer and not as a writer, and sometimes he’s confused by the tremendous amount of time and money I throw into my writing “career.” (His air quotes.) It isn’t that he’s condescending, like “Look at the little lady trying to be a writer!” type stuff. He knows comments like those end with his body cold and lifeless in our freezer. It’s more that he’s a glass half-empty sort of person, and can’t imagine that…
  • Dorking out for Little People

    Amy Vansant
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    My husband, Mike, and I recently vacationed in Dewey Beach, Delaware, because we’re cheap and the summer season was over. The big winner was our dog, Gordon, who maniacally chased a half-filled water bottle on the beach until we physically removed him for his own safety. We arrived at our beach cabin in the early afternoon and commenced cocktailing. Two hours later, we were too buzzed to drive and decided to order-in pizza, since the only sustenance I’d brought was either booze, or booze accouterments, like lemons and limes. I can get pretty narrow minded on vacations. Mike…
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    The Good Badger

  • How Morning Chili Could Be Ruining Your Life

    the Good Badger
    29 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    (This post is an adapted version of one I recently posted to Appalachian Trials.  If you prefer the PG version I encourage you to head there.  If not, you’ve come to the right fucking place.) Yesterday, I woke up to a crockpot full of steamy-hot, delicious grass-fed beef and bison chili.  The night before, I dedicated an hour to chopping and dicing onions, garlic, peppers, and jalapenos- then browning these veggies plus meat, mixing it with my soaked and sprouted black beans, tomatoes, and homemade bone broth.  I then set this factory of olfactory orgasmic matter to cook for…
  • Q&A: How Do I Get Over Writer’s Block?

    the Good Badger
    13 Oct 2014 | 3:24 pm
    We’re introducing a new series to the Good Badger called: “Q&A”, which is short for question and answer.  After a thorough investigation (conducted by me), the conclusion has been reached that I am the unquestioned coiner of this phrase.  You know this claim is valid because you’re reading it on the Internet.   If you have a question you’d like answered, send it here. Today’s question comes from Zach D in Denver, CO who writes the following: Hi the Good Badger, I know you’re probably busy saving baby animals from being abducted by evil…
  • 3 Reasons Why I Love Backpacking (And You Should Too)

    the Good Badger
    29 Jul 2014 | 9:03 am
    Warning: the following post uses the f-word (fuck, not filibuster) 15 times.  If you’re looking for some wholesome reading, you’re fuck out of luck.  Make that 16. Most people in this country don’t backpack, and quite frankly, that’s a good thing.  Backpacking is rewarding in large part because of this fact- it’s where you go to get away from the masses.  Add to this some beautiful scenery and a dash of exercise, and you’ve listed all the reasons why someone might enjoy this combination sport / hobby / lifestyle.  Right? Wrong. The reasons to love…
  • Redefining Pain

    the Good Badger
    30 Jun 2014 | 11:34 am
    A hundred billion neurons.  Ten trillion cells.  One hundred trillion bacteria.  All of this influenced by an immeasurable number of environmental and biological factors. Human beings are complex creatures, aren’t they? If you look through a microscope, perhaps.  If you take a step back, however, human behavior can be summarized in one sentence. We move toward pleasure and away from pain.  In most situations, pain plays a greater role in our motivation.  Burning your hand on a hot coal, walking across broken glass, or getting punched in the face with a baseball bat are all painful…
  • How to Vacation to Europe on the Cheap

    the Good Badger
    26 Jun 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A Western-European vacation is bacon for the soul. Few places on earth provide such a magical combination of history, beauty (in landscapes, architecture, people, and accents), FOOD, and culture without sacrificing any of the first-world luxuries that Americans tend to get itchy without.  The lone downside also happens to be a devastating one: the tornado-like effect it has on bank accounts.  The cost of airfare and lodging alone is the equivalent of 2,000 pounds of avocado, a shark boat, or this ocean garbage super important key.  Think of the possibilities. Many, reasonably albeit…
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • FDA Approves Hard-to-Abuse Hydrocodone Pill

    Johnny Robish
    20 Nov 2014 | 6:14 pm
    FDA Approves Hard-to-Abuse Hydrocodone Pill:  Federal health regulators have approved the first hard-to-abuse version of the painkiller hydrocodone, offering an alternative to a similar medication that has been widely criticized for lacking such safeguards.  Critics say that just about the only reason the new painkiller could be considered hard-to-abuse, is because the safety-seal makes it almost impossible to get the bottle open.   More Cell Phone Subscriptions Than People on Earth:  Sociologists say they’re baffled because new data show that the world has nearly as many cell phone…
  • CERN Scientists Discover 2 New Subatomic Particles

    Johnny Robish
    19 Nov 2014 | 9:22 pm
    CERN Scientists Discover 2 New Subatomic Particles:  Scientists at the world’s largest smasher (CERN) say they have discovered two new subatomic particles never seen before that could widen our understanding of the universe.  So if I’m getting all this correct, the world is made up of electrons, protons and neutrons, with the possible exception of Washington DC, where we have the morons!   Girl Recovers From Bubonic Plague:  A 7-year-old girl who was thought to have the flu after returning from camping in Colorado was found to actually be suffering from the bubonic plague…
  • Woman Wears Colander for Driver’s License Photo

    Johnny Robish
    18 Nov 2014 | 8:25 pm
    Woman Wears Colander for Driver’s License Photo:  A Utah woman says she encountered only brief resistance when she recently had her driver’s license photo taken while wearing a colander on her head as a mock religious statement.  Is it just me, or is there something about this story that just doesn’t hold water?  DMV employees who took her photograph, say her expression looked very strained.  Even though she received her license, she’ll still need to get it renewed every two or three colander years.   Navy Secretary Racked Up 930K Miles in World Travel:  The Navy…
  • Napoleon’s Two-Pointed Hat Draws $2.2 million at Auction

    Johnny Robish
    17 Nov 2014 | 8:54 pm
    Napoleon’s Two-Pointed Hat Draws $2.2 million at Auction:  One of Napoleon’s famous two-pointed hats was sold to a South Korean collector for nearly 1.9 million euros ($2.2 million) at an auction outside Paris.  Its a nice hat and all, but you’d think for that kind of money, at least they could include a little propellor on the top.   New Mexico Math Teacher Pulls Knife on Student:  Police say a New Mexico middle school teacher is facing charges that allege he threatened a student with a knife for talking during a pop quiz.  Wow, and to think we used to worry about…
  • German Man Blows Himself Up After Family Argument

    Johnny Robish
    16 Nov 2014 | 8:36 pm
    German Man Blows Himself Up After Family Argument:  According to local police, a 49-year-old man from a small German village blew himself up by setting off explosives inside his car following a fight with his family.   The story originally aired on TNT.  Witnesses say that after the family argument, the poor guy just went all to pieces.  His last words were reportedly “look Ma, no Hans!”   Study Finds Whites Likely to Feel Blacks Have Supernatural Powers:  A new study found that white people associate a “super-humanization” toward blacks, believing them more likely to…
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    The Laugh Button

  • Jim Gaffigan on The Tonight Show, “We all aspire to be forgiving”

    The Laugh Button Staff
    20 Nov 2014 | 8:41 pm
    It’s always a treat when Jim Gaffigan drops in on late night for a stand-up spot. Last night he appeared on The Tonight Show to talk about family life, feminism, and forgiveness. Take it away Jim. Jim Gaffigan on The Tonight Show, “We all aspire to be forgiving” appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • TBS cancels “Sullivan & Son” after three seasons

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Sullivan & Son, the show based loosely on the life of comedian Steve Byrne will not have a forth season. The show stared Byrne in the title role as well as fellow comedians Owen Benjamin, Ahmed Ahmed, and Roy Wood Jr and revolved around Byrne’s character quitting his high power job as an attorney to […] TBS cancels “Sullivan & Son” after three seasons appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • #TBT to Matt Ingebretson and Dave Ross’ terrible fencing match

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Nov 2014 | 2:44 pm
    Every Thursday, TLB participates in #TBT by scrounging around the internet for precious web gems of yore. Here’s one of our favorite videos that deserve some extra attention. While football season is still in full swing, and basketball and hockey are kicking up, maybe you’d like to sit back and watch a more classy sport. […] #TBT to Matt Ingebretson and Dave Ross’ terrible fencing match appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Thank You Internet! Rob Cantor creates mesmerizing music video about Shia LaBeouf

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Nov 2014 | 11:50 am
    This will be brief as I, like many others like me, have failed to find the words to describe this video. Originally brought to my attention by The Nerve, musician Rob Cantor has created an epic music video for his song which tells the true story about a real cannibal: actor Shia LaBeouf. Performed live […] Thank You Internet! Rob Cantor creates mesmerizing music video about Shia LaBeouf appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Watch the trailer for ‘Pitch Perfect 2′

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Nov 2014 | 11:27 am
    Kay Cannon (30 Rock, New Girl) is bringing the world of a cappella back to the big screen. After the success of her 2012 film Pitch Perfect, Cannon is coming back with Pitch Perfect 2 on May 15th. In the newly released trailer, Anna Kendrick returns along with fellow stars Rebel Wilson, Elizabeth Banks (who […] Watch the trailer for ‘Pitch Perfect 2′ appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Carly Bird

  • How I Met Eric Chevalier.

    Carly Walker
    29 Oct 2014 | 9:20 am
    I can’t think of any other reason besides God that I would have ever met Eric Chevalier. Bold, sappy statement, but I honestly believe it. And I can’t think of any other explanation than God’s love works through human beings, to explain why three years ago a red-head named Greg would respond to an accidental LinkedIn request with the snarky subject line: ‘connect with no message?’ Or why he would spend his holiday season interrogating me about my social profiles and asking if I would like to get a cup of coffee to talk about working at BLITZ, an agency that was out of my league and…
  • The Perks of Being a Couch Flower: DoorDash Food Delivery

    Carly Walker
    8 Aug 2014 | 9:28 am
    Lately apps that make an average human sitting on a couch feel like they are living in luxury have been all the rage. With the click of a button you can have your groceries, an Uber, or a random man who has agreed to do your laundry at your door. And for people who live in a jam packed city like me, these new apps focused on instant gratification can be invaluable. It’s almost like we are living in an alternate universe where The Little Red Hen does all the work, drives through LA traffic, deals with the parallel parking and STILL lets you eat all the cornbread at the end of the day.
  • The Best Food in Los Angeles

    Carly Walker
    17 Jul 2014 | 12:48 pm
    My office is really into food. We talk about where we are going to eat lunch starting at 10:00 am. Sometimes while we are still eating breakfast. We do laps around upcoming restaurants under construction in Santa Monica and make predictions of the food before the menu has even been made public. My coworker Ellen was recently highlighted on the Tender Greens blog as their official duchess after she checked in to their Santa Monica location over 100 times. Yes, 100. Multiply that number by a work team of 30 and you will see why TG gives us free cookies and drinks on the house. Here are…
  • Westside Wisdom: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express

    Carly Walker
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:47 am
    I have become one of THEM. One of those bloggers who sold out and writes about products and life hacks. If you think I’ve become trivial, this video from last year is proof that Carly Bird has been this way all along. That said, there are many services, products, and hacks that can make a big difference in your life. This is one of them. Please welcome: Amazon Fresh and Google Shopping Express. Amazon Fresh Amazon Fresh is a grocery delivery service revolutionizing the way white collar first adopters fill their kale holes. The service delivers food right to your door and also gives you…
  • Because Today You Don’t Feel Mormon

    Carly Walker
    1 May 2014 | 11:58 am
    My friend looked at me from across a table with honest, vulnerable eyes as he slowly put together a string of words to tell me that he felt he could no longer be Mormon. “You’re the first friend I have told.” He nervously stammered as he waited in anticipation for my reply. The next few seconds were a blur as I thought about my good friend and others like him. There is so much I wanted to say that I couldn’t express at the moment. So I ran home and wrote this letter to all of the people I love so much who at some point or another have confessed something similar and with heavy hearts…
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    Ava Love Hanna

  • Live Fast, Die… Eventually and Only if Absolutely Necessary

    Ava Love Hanna
    11 Nov 2014 | 5:00 am
    I grew up in Houston, Texas. If you've never been to Houston, I can describe it for you like this: just imagine any dystopian movie and then replace all the crazed brain-eating zombies with crazed brain-eating conservatives and there you go. To be fair, Houston’s come a long way lately, but when I was growing up there, it was the late 80's/early 90’s. And Houston in the 90’s certainly wasn't known for its picturesque parks, art scene, or lesbian mayor. Houston in the 90's was largely known for its suburbs and its malls, neither of which I felt particularly drawn to. I knew there had to…
  • Rainbow Connection

    Ava Love Hanna
    2 Sep 2014 | 5:00 am
    There are eggs cooking in a pan. Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side? The notes drift into the kitchen and I feel them in my chest, know them by heart. There’s a special joy in unexpectedly hearing a song you love right when you need to hear it; a little gift from the universe. Serendipity. He heard it too and runs to me; his 6 year old hands outstretched, inviting me to dance. I move the half cooked eggs off the burner. Breakfast can wait, my dance partner can’t. Continue reading The post Rainbow Connection appeared first on Ava Love Hanna.
  • Saints and Starbucks

    Ava Love Hanna
    30 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    So the other night I had this dream that I was somehow entangled with religious fundamentalists and I was told to gather a few things that were really important to me before we all climbed onto a big tour bus. So there I was, crying and clutching my wedding ring, a manila folder full of papers… and a coffee maker... That sounds about right, I *do* love coffee (and manila folders). Continue reading The post Saints and Starbucks appeared first on Ava Love Hanna.
  • It’s Poetry Month!

    Ava Love Hanna
    3 Apr 2014 | 9:39 am
    I'm a poet. I always have been. And even though my writing of late has moved towards essays and magazine articles (money), I will always be a poet. I love to talk and will spend hours chatting away in person, but when I write I am minimalist, I want to conserve words, I want crystallized moments to explode off the page in just a few sentences. I love the power of poetry. I love its beauty and its truth. And on days when the world seems ugly and gray, I remember that human beings can write poetry and how amazing that it is, and I am filled with hope again. Continue reading The post It’s…
  • Bad Parents

    Ava Love Hanna
    21 Jan 2014 | 11:54 am
    This is where I'll be on Wednesday night. Part of the FronteraFest Short Fringe, Bad Parents, will be at Hyde Park Theatre on Wednesday, Jan. 22 at 8 pm. The show is hilarious and was written by the über talented Max Langert, whom I met as an Austin cast member of Listen to Your Mother last year. He and Tristan told touching stories about their mothers, while I was sharing one of my finer parenting moments: The Vagina-Mommy Incident. Continue reading The post Bad Parents appeared first on Ava Love Hanna.
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • I’m Outta Here!

    2 Nov 2014 | 10:25 pm
    The last few weeks I’ve been wondering how much of my life I had left. The threat of breast cancer will do that to you. So, for the next couple of weeks I will be living it up to the hilt. Nothing says ‘do it now’ like a near collision with the Big ‘C’. My Steven […]
  • If I Lost My Breast, I Would Count Myself Lucky

    29 Oct 2014 | 7:49 am
    Three weeks ago, when the threat of breast cancer entered my life, I decided to hang up my blogging hat for a breather. Frankly, I felt everything but witty. The words, large mass on left breast, left me paralyzed with fear. Me, the woman who shrinks from nothing. I panicked. Years ago when this happened, […]
  • If My Dog Could Talk …

    1 Oct 2014 | 8:02 am
    I’d be mortified. Or in jail. She would gladly share my dress size, the fact that I have chin hairs, that I’m an easy drunk (one glass of wine and I’m ready for a nap), how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news, that I eat in bed, my opinion on […]
  • Can a sassy woman blogger shame the NFL even if she doesn’t know a thing about football?

    10 Sep 2014 | 8:51 am
    Just watch me. Hey NFL, if I were your mother, I would take you out of the game. No time outs, no suspensions. I would throw your disrespectful ass out on the dirty street where it belongs. Your behavior is reprehensible, disgusting, and shows absolutely no regard for your players or their families. It is […]
  • I Want To Be A Gross, Stereotypical Objectification. Don’t You?

    27 Aug 2014 | 9:40 am
    It’s not often I profess to know more than Newsweek or the Chicago Tribune. But I sure as hell do today. A lot is being said about Sofia Vergara’s rotating pedestal act at the Emmys. Most of it bad. Very bad. Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune are just a small slice of the pie. Social […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Squatty Potty – for all your squatting potty needs

    30 Oct 2014 | 5:42 pm
    I actually have heard that putting a box to raise your feet up when you poo is a good idea – getting back to our caveman roots and pooping the way we evolved to. Let’s see if paying for a professional version works for the reviewers: Customer Review 1,253 of 1,284 people found the following review helpful This changes everything. Well, okay… just pooping., November 6, 2013 By Mark Jaquith Verified Purchase This review is from: Squatty Potty Ecco 9″ – Elimination Aid – Natural Bathroom Relief Through A Toilet Stool (Baby Product) I gingerly climbed on top…
  • Come In / Go Away Doormat

    7 Oct 2014 | 12:26 am
    I actually like this doormat, if it wasn’t so expensive. It’s called an ambigram if you’re wondering. Most Helpful Customer Reviews 78 of 78 people found the following review helpful By Garred A. Oldham on March 10, 2010 Verified Purchase i turned it backwards when my family was coming over. but no one did what i said. damn thing is defective Comment Come In / Go Away Doormat is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass

    23 Sep 2014 | 5:51 pm
    This is would be a pretty funny glass to drink straight liquor out of. Link LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Thirteen!

    10 Sep 2014 | 5:42 am
    Gif Sound Mashup 13, with turtles, babies, cats, a bear, dinosaurs, and a martian rover! It took some extra time to render the beginning circles lol & bring you Gif Sound Mashup 13! ►GifSounds used: COMING SOON Make your own! – no account required This video is covered under Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107 – Fair Use: All visuals and sound are no more than a few seconds in length, parody the original works, are highly transformative, and are not in any way a substitute for the original. All…
  • Lego Death Star, comes complete with exhaust port weakness

    14 Aug 2014 | 3:07 pm
    Looks pretty cool, but I’m not sure what kind of person buys a $500 LEGO set… for their kids… 20 of 21 people found the following review helpful  Missing cover for the exhaust port, 10 Aug 2014 By Golidog Theres a cover missing on the exhaust pipe. It’s probably not important but maybe this could be fixed for the next model. Thanks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink 43 of 52 people found the following review helpful  Flimsy design, March 20, 2014 By Brian Atwood “bratwood” I’m not…
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • Training Covert Corporate Slugs

    Greg Mischio
    17 Nov 2014 | 5:00 am
    We get all excited about our entrepreneurs in the United States, but our biggest byproduct is the corporate slug. They’re well-schooled at the art of evasion and slippery tactics. Now, thanks to my latest epiphany, they now can literally blend into the woodwork while on the job. I’ve done my time in the big house. I slurped from the teat of Corporate America for many moons, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: It was a heckuva ride. I know that now, as an entrepreneur whose paycheck depends on my own perseverance, hard work, and luck. But I do recall those days working for the man…
  • Using a Chainsaw to Teach Math

    Greg Mischio
    10 Nov 2014 | 5:00 am
    My teenage kids love slasher films. They can never get enough gore and dismemberment. This ubiquitous teenage trait has spurred yet another epiphany: Let’s combine the world of slasher movies and education to ensure kids know their math facts. Everyone loves to bitch about the low math scores of our nation’s young. I’m not sure if this is a concern for our children’s education, or if it’s the fact that the USA can’t stand to be #2 in anything. Nevertheless, we need to get math scores up, or else teachers will get fired, administrators will get fired, and politicians will get,…
  • Selling Arms for Education

    Greg Mischio
    3 Nov 2014 | 5:00 am
    Schools whine about a lack of funding. At the same time, war continues to ravage the world. I think we can literally kill two birds with one stone with the ultimate fundraiser: Let school children sell weapons of mass (and minor) destruction. Behold: Two brilliant realizations have converged and yielded a galaxy-altering epiphany. The first is that war, death and destruction will never go out of style. Throughout history, maiming and mayhem has been humankind’s most practiced past-time. We like to blow stuff up. We like to blow people up. It’s just too much fun to stop. The second is that…
  • Thwart Ebola with Designer Hazmat Suits

    Greg Mischio
    27 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Congrats, Ebola. You’ve effectively scared the s— out of everyone. In defense of the world, I decided to thwart Ebola’s viral hinder, but not by combating its root cause. I got reactive instead of proactive and launched my new designer Hazmat suits. Humankind is not built to be proactive. We’ve heard all the kvetching about how the World Health Organization and the governments of West Africa should have been more responsive to the Ebola outbreak, but that’s just bunk. That’s like saying the world should be more proactive about eliminating poverty and improving education, so…
  • How God Can Make a Ton of Cash

    Greg Mischio
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-all. But even He would be the first to tell you, you can just never have enough cash. With my latest Epiphany, I’ve got a foolproof way the creator can increase profits and put even more dough in his omniscient pocket. It’s funny, but even after I wrote that first paragraph, people were already lining up on my front lawn to protest my blasphemy. Look, I’m sorry. I mean no offense toward you and whatever God you may worship. But He would be pissed if I didn’t share with him my money-making scheme for supreme beings. It’s based on of the…
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    I Think Myself Happy

  • You're NOT a Failure

    Mike McCarty
    9 Nov 2014 | 6:30 pm
    For the past six months I have been traveling around to different communities for book presentations and signings.  Now, before you conjure up an image of long lines of giddy fans and groupies let me set the record straight.   This is not a John Grisham-esk event. Although I have been very surprised at the participation at most of the events.  We have averaged 60-80 people at most presentations and signings.  A friend and author told me her publisher said to expect 5-10 people at a book signing.  So last month I had one in Indianapolis and my 12 year old…
  • Friends

    Mike McCarty
    15 Sep 2014 | 8:35 am
    I'm not a Facebook junkie.  No offense, but most of what I see on there is mind numbing.  I'm glad your 8 yr old scored six touch downs last Saturday.  Ok, truthfully, I really don't care that much.  And I don't need an update if you are at the gym working out.  Or what you are watching on TV.  But there are occasionally things that really grab my attention.  A few writers who post blog updates and you can tell it is a painful process for them, they really don't think there writing is that good.  Humble.  I like family updates (without…
  • Family Traditions

    Mike McCarty
    2 Aug 2014 | 5:29 am
    How many of you have family traditions?  Maybe a favorite vacation spot.  Or hiking together.  Playing board games on Friday nights. When I was a kid, we had family reunions every summer.  Both sides of the family. We would get together and I would point at three quarters of the people and ask who they were. And even though family reunions felt like a prison sentence, especially when every other year we had to travel to out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere Kentucky for my mom's side of the family, I have learned to appreciate them as an adult.  Most likely because nobody…
  • What I Know About Groupies

    Mike McCarty
    12 Jun 2014 | 5:56 pm
    I have to admit as a boy my life was focused on developing groupies.  Keep reading, life is about failing miserably many times before finding your niche.  Turns out groupie coaching was not my calling.  But I tried. I launched my first rock band- Rapid Fire- at 12 with my neighbor.  We focused on all of the great music at the time- Kiss, Def Leppard, REO, Journey and the Eagles.  But we could never draw much of a crowd.  Admittedly, hand-made advertising nailed to telephone poles around town is not the most effective way of getting the word out.  But…
  • Learning to Fail

    Mike McCarty
    14 May 2014 | 7:01 pm
    I hope you are not one of those parents that has a "My Child was...." bumper sticker on the back of your vehicle.  If you are, grab a razor and go scrape it off. No way, unless one of my kids is elected president, would I have a bumper sticker espousing their accomplishments in elementary school or junior high.  Sorry. I am also not one of those guys that would have a bumper sticker that said, "my child beat up your honor student."  I might laugh but I am at least one generation removed from being that redneck. I'm proud when my kids do well, don't get me wrong.  I…
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  • Sharknado Date Miss!

    17 Nov 2014 | 5:39 am
    One way you know my blog is not a reality show is that unexpected things happen. And not always positive ones. It doesn’t matter how much thought I put into date nights, sometimes they do not work out. Sometimes things happen and we aren’t able to do them like I had hoped. But, that doesn’t mean I can’t share my plans with you so maybe some of you can have success with them. This date night that never came to be was Sharknado date night. I had heard this movie was funny with a sci-fi theme so I figured it was perfect for us. I checked a few months back and he…
  • The Fascinating Case of Dennis Rodman

    14 Nov 2014 | 5:43 am
    After election week it is obvious that many people are really scrutinizing the work our politicians have done for us in their term. But, when you can look back on the past year and see more notable achievements from a oddball NBA player it is obvious why voters would get a little uneasy. Dennis Rodman has been taking the credit for convincing North Korea to release Kenneth Bae. And to be honest he seems to have some valid points. He did send Kim Jong-un a letter asking for his release. Also he did visit North Korea and it the fangirling Jong-un did was undeniable. Was Rodman the reason for…
  • Chicken Puttaa…what? I am not Italian but trying!

    10 Nov 2014 | 5:50 am
    So living with a boyfriend who grew up in an Italian household comes with its challenges. The big one is finding meals. One thing you will learn about me is red sauce makes my stomach turn. I am not sure what it is but the smell and the consistency do not sit well with me. So the only pasta dinners I generally make are with alfredo or just plain pasta with butter. However, this dish I decided to try since he was craving some of that Italian cooking. And you know what? I liked it! We of course made a few adjustments to make it the perfect recipe for us. The first part that made me a little put…
  • Flashback Friday: Make a Phone call!

    7 Nov 2014 | 5:56 am
    On the radio the other day I heard a survey that peaked my interest. They surveyed a bunch of people and asked them what they use their phone for the most. Listening to the answers I got curious so I posted the same question on Facebook and the answers were basically the same. Answers were mostly Email, Facebook, Apps, and texting. But clearly there is one thing missing. Making phone calls! I don’t know about you, but as a kid I was the queen of the phone. I would spend hours upon hours talking to my friends about everything under the sun. I would stay up at night watching scary movies…
  • Craig David via Ed Sheeran?

    3 Nov 2014 | 5:45 am
    Have you ever heard a song that reminds you so much of music you liked when you were younger that you just can’t stop listening to it? That is exactly what happened to me when I heard Ed Sheeran’s new song “Don’t”. For days I was searching the radio channels looking for this song because it just put me in a good mood. I could not figure out why this song made me so happy. Especially because the song isn’t exactly upbeat in the lyrics department. The song is about a guy who is cheated on by a girl. But nonetheless I would turn the volume all the way up and…
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Things I Say To My Cats

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    17 Nov 2014 | 11:17 pm
    This post was inspired by a Facebook status update I posted earlier today, which was inspired by me realizing how much I talked to my cats when I was home alone with them on my lunch break from work. This is just a small taste of the colorful conversations we regularly have.
  • Bad Hair Decisions

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    2 Nov 2014 | 12:29 am
    This is a story about bad decisions.WARNING: This post is rated R for extreme hair choices, hair-related violence, and graphic incompetence. Not recommended for people who have a heart condition or are hairdressers and know better. Reader discretion is advised.Part 1: "I need a haircut."Once upon a time, it had been almost a year since I got it cut or colored, so my hair was pretty sad looking.I knew it was long past time for a haircut, but I kept getting too busy or forgetting or just putting it off. My hair may not have a voice of its own, but I can always understand when it's trying…
  • Onomatopoetry: Cat Version

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:29 pm
    Here's some more of this stuff, yo. Enjoy.
  • Charizard Uses Bite... It's Super Effective

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    8 Sep 2014 | 10:12 pm
  • Friends of Nigel 5: Mousecop and Charizard

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    29 Jun 2014 | 5:34 pm
    Alrighty, so, I went to draw some pictures for my blog and realized my tablet has not been charged, and I don't feel like waiting until it's charged. Therefore, today's blog post features ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS!And also this picture I drew a while ago:Let's start with the story of how MC and Cha-zizzle came to join our little family...Part 1: The DealOnce upon a time, there was a myself named Jackie. She didn't have any kitties because she lived in a teeny apartment and the evil apartment overlords charged $ARM.99 in non-refundable pet deposits and $LEG.00 (before tax) for monthly pet rent. To…
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    Cerp CerkCerp Cerk » Category » Autocompletes

  • The Awkward Moment When You’re Chilling In The Park And Bruno Mars Walks by Dragging a Piano

    29 Oct 2014 | 11:10 am
    So, you and a group of friends have decided to get together in the park for a catch-up and a picnic. Everything has gone as planned and everyone has turned up – even Sarah who always says she’s busy and who usually cancels at the last minute. Everyone’s chilling… and then Bruno Mars casually walks by dragging a piano. How awkward? Does it still work? You can get parts of the phrase to show but not the entire thing. With how long this one is, we can see why Google would no longer choose to show it. (we’re sure there’s an innuendo in there somewhere) Why were…
  • Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl

    14 Aug 2014 | 6:12 am
    “I wanna be that girl, when she falls in love it’s like a big deal and a rare thing.” “Until then, I will date everyone I find. Oh, and if you upset me in any way shape or form, expect a song dedicated to how it was entirely your fault and not mine whatsoever. That is all!” And thank god for that. Before a Google search, we thought that Taylor Swift was dating the Finnish metal band. The post Taylor Swift Isn’t That Kind Of Girl appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • What If One Day You Wake Up And You Were A Chicken Nugget?

    13 Jun 2014 | 3:21 am
    It would totally suck to one day wake up and find out you were a chicken nugget. But then again, if you were a McDonald’s chicken nugget, it would be a totally different story – everyone loves those bitches. Mmmm, smothered in BBQ sauce and Ketchup. And seeing as we’re now in McDonald’s, it would be rude not to purchase a Big Mac. Nom, nom, nom! Does it still work? Yeah, this was found on 07/11/2013. Just type “what if one day“. Why were people searching it? The only mention of this online we could find was on a Tumblr blog where someone drew a man as a…
  • This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight

    19 May 2014 | 4:34 am
    Song that goes ah ah eh eh eh Song that goes eh eh eh Song that goes oh uh oh Song that goes la la la la Song that goes dum dum dum dum Come on, guys, together we can solve these autocompletes ourselves! Does anyone know the song that goes “dum dum dum dum”? How about the song that goes “eh eh eh?” As the Tumblr user stated, while some of us are out conquering space flight, some of us are Googling song noises to try and find songs. The post This Is The Species That Invented Space Flight appeared first on Cerp Cerk.
  • Can I Vacuum My Dog?

    8 Apr 2014 | 10:59 am
    …and we think it’s safe to say that pets should come with instruction manuals! If you’re asking if it’s safe to vacuum your pet, then please save your pet from future harm by calling the RSPCA on yourself. Does it still work? This little autocomplete worked like a charm by Googling “can I v” on 8/4/2014. Why were people searching it? By the looks of it many of you have fetishes for vacuuming dogs. As it turns out the internet has spoken and said it’s fine to hoover the dog. Here’s one person’s response: It won’t hurt him, but it may bother…
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    Grahame GDG

  • How To Have Sex For The First Time

    19 Nov 2014 | 12:30 pm How To Have Sex For The First Time Step By Step | GrahameGDG Thought I would share some of my expert sex knowledge for you guys to help you out when you’re being all shit and crap at it. I usually charge for this kind of training but I was thinking, I need to share what I know so to help make the world a better place. Basically the idea came about because I watched some video of a policeman stopping traffic so that a mother duck and her little duckling babies could cross the road. That might sound weird it’s not, here’s my train of…
  • Happy Halloween Everyone!

    31 Oct 2014 | 2:23 am
    So this picture happened by accident, we would have done it anyway but turned out it was Halloween the day after we took it which was lucky coz I had something to throw into my Happy Halloween Everyone blog post! So uh…yeah… Happy Halloween Everyone I hope you all have a suitably spooky evening ahead of you! Whether it’s watching the exorcist or just a quiet night out on the rape. Or for the ladies, have fun getting drunk as a slutty zombie, a slutty dead nurse, a slutty dead soldier, a slutty vampire or of course a slutty dead school girl. I went to a Halloween party last…
  • How To Become Famous On Youtube

    29 Oct 2014 | 4:02 pm How To Become Famous On Youtube / Youtube Famous | GrahameGDG When I was a kid, granted it was a long time ago, I wanted to be a fireman. Lots of my friends wanted to be astronauts and policemen. Seems to me that every 12 year old kids dream these day’s is to become pewdiepie. What the hell happened to the world? Don’t get me wrong I think Pewdiepie seems like a stand up chap and he’s pretty funny. His mysterious and exotic accent is extremely sexy. His hair, his hair, falls perfectly without him…
  • My New Band

    26 Oct 2014 | 2:30 pm
    So for those of you who haven’t heard I have started killer a new band called The Devils Of Sodomy. We’re a 3 piece goth-death-industrial-metal-rock-core-grunge band. Our inspirations are My Chemical Romance (omg! love MCR 4 life), Fall Out Boy, Black Veil Brides and The Jackson 5. Our new 13 track album is coming out soon, it’s called “I cut my heart on the razorblade of your love” and will feature such tracks as: 1. Intro (break her in) 2. Shit on my chest like I paid you to 3. I want the tear drops of my love on your face 4. Coffins and vampire bat eggs 5.
  • Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame

    22 Oct 2014 | 12:48 pm Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame Hello and welcome and hi to the latest episode in the highly acclaimed Dont Ask Grahame video series. What does that even mean? Highly acclaimed? If anyone knows let me know! So anyway this yetti woman decided to post this question online somewhere and BIG MISTAKE because I found it and I’m a bit of a massive prick. I was pretty harsh in the video but in all honesty though surely you can get some hormone stuff to make you grow less hair? Like…
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    Do You Remember

  • It Happened Today — November 21

    Do You Remember
    20 Nov 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — November 21 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • Mike Nichols Passes Away

    Neil Vazquez
    20 Nov 2014 | 8:10 am
    ABC News confirmed this morning that Oscar-winning director Mike Nichols passed away at the age of 83. During a career that lasted more than 50 years, Nichols directed such odd-ball hits as The Graduate, Angels In America, and Monty Python’s Spamalot. He’s survived by his wife, Diane Sawyer, who he married in 1988. To celebrate his life and work, take a look at some of the funniest moments from his early career, as one half of the comedy team of Nichols & May. Comedy can’t survive in a vacuum. Even the loneliest breed of comedians—stand-ups—needs the constant…
  • It Happened Today — November 20

    Do You Remember
    19 Nov 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — November 20 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • Larry King’s 7 Best Interviews

    Neil Vazquez
    19 Nov 2014 | 11:29 am
    For years Larry King was the stalwart of CNN’s nightly lineup. The radio announcer, turned interviewer, became known for his candid line of questioning. Unlike many others in the business, King put his ego aside and always let the guest shine. Though he retired years ago from the daily grind of television the 81-year-old is still out there interviewing the latest players in the cultural zeitgeist. On his birthday, we look back at his most iconic on-air moments. SEE ALSO:6 Jaw Dropping Barbara Walters Interviews   Kissing Brando After an admittedly tame interview, the two launch…
  • Giving Thanks for a Rich Cup of Coffee

    Serge Stevens
    19 Nov 2014 | 8:30 am
    With Thanksgiving fast upon us, many hosts and hostesses are making last-minute plans for their holiday dinners. Cooks are poring over new recipes for roasted Brussels sprouts, gluten-free gravy and moist turkey. And while dessert figures prominently in most menus, coffee is frequently an afterthought. I enjoy a bold cup from Starbucks, but in my opinion the coffee most of us drink at home has declined in flavor. I’ve got one of those single-cup “brewing systems,” and it does a pretty good job. But it doesn’t approach the richness and depth of flavor that provided the perfect coda to…
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  • Age Of Ultron – How It Should Have Ended

    Jade Waddy
    4 Nov 2014 | 5:45 am
    Some of you may have seen the latest trailers from MARVEL showing us the power of Ultron. However… The guys at “How It Should Have Ended” feel as if this could have ended on a lighter note, it’s just a shame that Ultron sounds permanently scary. Watch the video, it’ll make sense. Source: Array
  • Food Porn – Wedding Cakes

    Jade Waddy
    17 Sep 2014 | 3:26 am
    Your wedding day can be defined by the cake you have, it’s a perfect representation of your love for each other and both of your tastes all rolled into one. If you have a smaller cake then you’re probably quite a conservative couple who wants a simple wedding, whereas a large elaborate cake suggests that you’re a very bold couple who are adventurous! If you’re stuck on which cake to get, here is some inspiration to help you out (all images here have been taken from the Hitched India Wedding Cake Inspiration…
  • David’s Story – His Unfortunate Death Caught On Camera

    Jade Waddy
    10 Sep 2014 | 4:32 am
    This is the story of David. He was an avid motorcyclist with a passion for life. This video shows his final moments as his mother explains his story. This video was made as part of a road safety campaign and so far has been seen by over 11 million people. Remember to “Think Bike” when you’re driving, it saves lives. WARNING: Do not watch this video if you’re of a nervous disposition, it’s very emotional. Source: Array
  • Reality One, Tech Zero | Gadgets That Are Epic Yet Utterly Pointless

    Amber Waddy
    22 Aug 2014 | 3:15 am
    We’ve all seen clever mock ups of modern cons that we can all appreciate and use from day to day. What some people fail to see, however, is the fact there is no need for such toys as there are far easier ways of fixing certain problems.Here we take a look at some of the most amazing gadgets that the world would adore… for all of five minutes. Then realise how stupid it is.MaptorThe Idea: The point of this handle little device is so that you can figure out where you are on the go with the simple click of a button. Gone will be the days where people get completely lost, including…
  • Little Known Facts About The Late Robin Williams

    Jade Waddy
    12 Aug 2014 | 4:14 am
    Today the world mourns over the loss of comedian and renowned actor, Robin Williams. We’ve all seen him in films such as Mrs Doubtfire, Jumaji, Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society; but very little is actually known about the man himself. He liked to keep his personal life pretty locked away and although it may seem in his stand up days he revealed all, there are some pieces of information that never quite reached the surface. Here are just a handful.He Was An Avid Cyclist – It’s true, for several years Robin has been getting on his bike and riding alongside well known…
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    David Beckham Comics - Home

  • The Silver Burper Finds Earthy Food For Galactic-Gus

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:49 am
    The Silver Burper, powerful herald for Galactic-Gus the World-Eater has just found Earthy food for his boss; the planet Earth! Can the Fantastic Bores stop him?
  • The Fantastic-Bores, Galactic-Gus and the Watch-Her!

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:45 am
    The  Fantastic-Bores watch as the Watch-Her tries to persuade Galactic-Gus to leave the Earth without destroying it.
  • Fantastic Bore's Premiere: Galactic-Gus vs The Earth!

    12 Nov 2014 | 2:18 pm
    The Fantastic Bores get ready to fight Galactic-Gus, all-powerful creature from another world! See Read Richards, Zhou Storm, Donny Storm and Ben Chagrin as they battle to protect the Earth!
  • New Comic; The Fantastic Bores fight Galactic-Gus!

    11 Nov 2014 | 1:20 pm
    Read Richards (Mr. Fantastical),  Zhou Storm ( Ms. visible), Donny Storm (The Human Torrent) and Ben Chagrin (The Thong) all assemble to use their powers in a combined effort to send the all powerful Galactic-Gus to hell ( or to Kebap Heaven). Can they succeed against this all-powerful cosmic creature? Read the first of the series in the all new adventures of the Fantastic Bores tomorrow, Wednesday the 12th of November! 
  • Music: 3WK and Kalx Berkeley

    11 Nov 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Bacon and music, what more could anyone want? How about musical bacon , a crispy, salty explosion of fantastic flavour in the form of music to sate your hunger for new, good songs? After years of scouring the waves for the best indie and alternative music, my search ended with 3wk and KALX. Each has it's own style but both play tons of fantastic music. So starting today access-denied music hands over the musical reigns to Beats-Like-Bacon, which will present selections from music currently played on Kalx and 3WK radio Stations.
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    Above Average

  • Tips From A Creep – Apples

    Nathan Min
    20 Nov 2014 | 3:39 pm
      Nathan Min is a comedian.
  • Press Conference Transcript From Your Landlord Who Controls The Heat In Your NY Apartment

    Geoff Garlock
    20 Nov 2014 | 3:04 pm
    Ladies and gentlemen of the media, Associated Press, and tenants of my apartment building: Hello everyone, and thank you for coming out today. I called this press conference today to address the elephant in the room. Yes, I control the heat in your New York apartment and yes, I am not going to relinquish that control. I have heard the complaints. It’s like the surface of the sun when it is on; it’s like the planet Hoth when it is off; I work nights and sleep during the day so the schedule for the heat being on is erratic in order to match my wants and needs. The list goes on and on. And I…
  • Shaquille O’Neal Is In The “Fun” Business

    Above Average
    19 Nov 2014 | 9:55 am
    Oh, Shaq. What would we do without you? Watch the athlete/entrepreneur talk with Seth about his one-sided social media war with Charles Barkley and his memorable first experience with IcyHot.
  • Seinfeld And Wale Are Up To No Good

    Above Average
    19 Nov 2014 | 9:51 am
    After being snubbed from Complex‘s 50 Best Albums of 2013 list, rapper Wale is feeling blue. His close friend Jerry Seinfeld is furious. Watch the legendary comedian egg on the rapper and ask the important questions, such as: who is Jay Zimmerman?
  • Cameron Diaz Owns New York City

    Above Average
    19 Nov 2014 | 9:49 am
    Cameron Diaz is back to host Saturday Night Live and catch up with her old friend Bobby Moynihan. These two clearly have a sordid past, according to the cue cards definitely not written by Bobby. Check out SNL on 11/22 at 11:30pm.
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • The Losers (Or Why I Still Root for the Browns)

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:25 am
    I’ve lived in Cleveland my whole life, which means I root for the Cleveland Browns. This is unfortunate, because the last time the Browns did anything good, I was three years old and really into Winnie the Pooh. So why root for the Browns? Nobody comes to the door on Sundays to check if you’re cheering. This is America, and you’re allowed to turn the TV off or even root for a team that occasionally wins. After watching another horrific Browns loss on Sunday, I started thinking about why I even care about this team. And then I thought about my own football career. My football career was…
  • Welcome to New York

    12 Nov 2014 | 3:57 am
    A few months after we got married, Deserae and I took a weekend trip to New York City. When we reached our destination, I got a much more intense welcome to the city than I had bargained for. “YES!” I shouted as we neared the Lincoln Tunnel. Deserae rolled her eyes. Not to brag, but I am AMAZING at holding my breath. I don’t get opportunities to showcase this skill very often, so I hold my breath every time we drive through a tunnel to impress my wife. After four months of marriage, Deserae was tragically already losing interest in this trick. I took three deep breaths, timing my last…
  • Cleveland Wins

    5 Nov 2014 | 4:08 am
    You may recall that I recently got tickets to last week’s Cleveland Cavaliers home opener, the “hardest-to-find Cleveland ticket since the last good sports thing happened here 20 years ago.” Well the game was last Thursday, and it went exactly like you’d expect if you’ve lived in Cleveland any time during the last 20 years: A full day of hype, followed by ten minutes of hope, followed by an evening of crushing despair. But it’s OK, because the day was never about the game itself. It was all about…well I was there, and I’m still not sure, but it was about SOMETHING. A lot of…
  • Fighting the Man Who’s Fighting The Man

    29 Oct 2014 | 4:29 am
    Have you ever had a nemesis? I have. I’ve had many nemeses. Almost all of my nemeses (it is “nemeses,” I looked it up, don’t bother) came during college. You know the kid who would sit in front of every lecture and makes dumb jokes to the professor and asks stupid questions and occasionally look around the classroom with his big, punchable smile? He was my nemesis. I don’t think any of my nemeses ever knew they were my nemeses. They didn’t even know my name because I never actually confronted one. I just sat there and glared and stewed. That all changed the day I met Vincent. I…
  • World Class at All the Wrong Things

    22 Oct 2014 | 4:40 am
    I don’t like to brag, but over the past few years, I’ve become reeeeeeealllllllly good at the following skills: Keeping 100% up-to-date on my entire Twitter feed at all times Avoiding quiet moments by whipping out my phone anytime one threatens to sneak up Collecting enough coins in Madden 14 Mobile to buy Brian Hoyer, which takes much, MUCH longer than it should Ignoring my wife while honing the aforementioned skills Last month, while I was deeply involved in the last skill, Deserae scooted over to me. “Hey, I thought this was cool,” she said. She showed me an article where this guy…
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  • Best Pictures Of Denise Milani

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:51 pm
    Meet Denise Milani. She is a Czech model and fitness trainer. She doesn't even look like she is actually 40, just saying...The post Best Pictures Of Denise Milani appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Meet the “Suicide Blonde” aka. Niykee Heaton

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:31 pm
    Niykee Heaton is only 19 years old and is known on YouTube for her acoustic covers of hit songs, recently dropped her debut EP ‘Bad Intentions’ in early October. She has 700,000 Instagram fans (@niykeeheaton) and they are probably only there for the sexy photos she posts on a daily basis...The post Meet the “Suicide Blonde” aka. Niykee Heaton appeared first on Hipblow.
  • 15 Selfies of Gorgeous Girls With Glasses

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:05 pm
    Glasses can be a powerful tool to make a beautiful girl into a totally hot woman, for this, we got you a compilation of selfies with breath-taking girls with glasses. They sure look very sexy...The post 15 Selfies of Gorgeous Girls With Glasses appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Over 15 Busty Girls Just Because Boobs

    20 Nov 2014 | 3:35 pm
    Here is a collection of over 15 busty girls just because boobs...The post Over 15 Busty Girls Just Because Boobs appeared first on Hipblow.
  • These Cute Dogs Floating in Mid-Air Will Make Your Day!

    19 Nov 2014 | 3:30 pm
    A lot of fur, flying ears, crazy tails and weird dog faces. These hilarious portraits created by German photographer Julia Christe in which you will see different breeds of magnificent and cute dogs dancing in the air will sure put a smile on your face!The post These Cute Dogs Floating in Mid-Air Will Make Your Day! appeared first on Hipblow.
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • Understanding

    20 Nov 2014 | 4:44 am
    What is it to know, yet not understand? Is it seeing the picture, but not the mural so grand? Is it retaining information we can never apply? Is it seeing the stars without seeing the sky? Understanding is deep. Its complex yet its simple. We understand that we sleep, but our dreams pop like a pimple. We understand that it happens, but not why it occurs. We understand time heals all, but don't understand how it cures. We seem to know understanding, but yet we fail to understand it. We can't seem to grasp it even when life will hand it. Understanding is fleeting in a world that's all knowing.
  • Blood Stains

    James King
    19 Nov 2014 | 8:27 pm
    I've done a lot of wrong, now I'm feeling bitter got the face of torture, that's my reflection in the malt liquor guess I figure, that 6 figures couldn't figure me out because the money looks confused with the grin on mouth I'm not smiling for the paper, I'm smiling for my life I became a grown man, but couldn't say I lived right.. I've got these blood stained memories and this heart feeling empty how come we have nothing when others have plenty? celebrities keep saying how they worked hard for it they just got a lucky break and that's the worst part of it sorry but they started it, flashing…
  • Life's Promiscuity

    Kool Thing
    19 Nov 2014 | 6:09 pm
    Don’t we all understand That life, The whore she is, Screws us all?
  • The Mistress

    19 Nov 2014 | 6:06 pm
    I never thought it would end like this, I fought with you and suspected it. You took away my goals and dream, You gave it to another team. The child we planned, You changed your mind, But why? I turned to you and cried. You promised me that nothing's changed, But in the end you went her way. She spoils you more than I can do, You're used to that,so now I lose. In her arms, you'd be so miserable, Don't come to me, 'cause I won't be forgivable.
  • Your Life... Your Movie

    Bruce Cabell
    19 Nov 2014 | 7:06 am
    When living your life it's essential to see The events that unfold in your own private movie. There will be humor and struggles too Pain and love is what you'll view. Thrill and suspense will also be Included within your life's movie. There will be characters who will enter and leave Some major, some minor so please take heed. Some characters you meet you'll want to deflect Since their negative energy will have a destructive effect. They're filled with drama and immersed in action So try not to show an emotional reaction. Plus there may be times when conflicts arise So interactions with them…
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    Dubious Knowledge Institute

  • Thanksgiving: Lions and Turkeys and Eels, Oh My!

    18 Nov 2014 | 12:17 am
    Thanksgiving Day, as like many American holidays, has morphed from its original intention as an expression of thanks to a Creator for our basic needs, into screaming at the TV because the Cowboys fumbled on the 2 yard line. But Thanksgiving’s humble beginnings beg us to remember how blessed we are that the majority of us have a roof over our heads, plenty of saturated fats to eat and the Underdog balloon to watch bonk into a light pole at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. To uncover the roots of Thanksgiving, we must dig deep into the soil of America’s history, past the…
  • 20 (Suspicious Yet Mildly Useful) Facts About Minnesota

    11 Nov 2014 | 2:00 am
    1 Official Motto: “L’Etoile du nord” (“Even Our Toilet Paper Is Frozen”). Unofficial Motto: “Land of 10,000 (Usually Frozen) Lakes”. 2 Minnesota baseball commentator Halsey Hal was the first to say ‘Holy Cow’ during a baseball broadcast, just after realizing his parents intentionally named him “Halsey Hal”. 3 President Teddy Roosevelt gave his “Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick” speech in 1901 at the Minnesota State Fair. The speech referred to the notion that if you don’t want your wife to find out you’re…
  • All About Bach: Part 2 (Umlauts and Ill-Tempered Claviers)

    4 Nov 2014 | 2:00 am
    PART TWO OF A SERIES (SEE PART ONE) In January of 1703, just after graduating from St. Michael’s, Bach was appointed court musician in the chapel of Duke Johann “Wayne” Ernst III in Weimar (Official Motto: “Pronounce The ‘W’ Like a ‘V’ You Stupid American”). While there, his reputation as a keyboardist began to spread, and he became the organist at St. Boniface’s in Arnstadt, which boasted a new organ that used the modern tempered system which allowed a wide range of keys to be used, some of them even in tune. Things became tense…
  • Beat the Clock: It’s Daylight Saving Time

    28 Oct 2014 | 3:00 am
    Daylight Saving Time, or “DST”, or “‘How Do You Set The Microwave Clock Again?’ Time” is the practice of advancing clocks forward during the summer months so people can get even more depressed when fall comes and they have to set them back again and make it dark by 4:00 pm. The hope behind the practice is that people will get up earlier in the morning when it is lighter, and also experience more daylight during the evening hours. This hope does not take into account the fact that Americans are a hopelessly lazy people, but not lazy enough to not buy room…
  • Flip it Good: 12 Spatula Facts

    20 Oct 2014 | 2:35 pm
    THIS WEEKS’ TOPIC IS A COLUMN CHALLENGE; suggest yours here. It waits in your utensil drawer; flat, simple, waiting to scrape the teflon off your best Calphalon pan. The lowly spatula may not be as popular at the high school dance as the pie server or grilling tongs, but it does serve a purpose in its own, quiet, greasy way. The spatula derives its name from the Latin word spatha, meaning broadsword, which conjures up visions of Roman centurions clumsily flipping burgers with their swords at a pre-village-conquering tailgate party. The same Latin root also has similarities to the…
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • Space Weed

    20 Nov 2014 | 1:00 pm
    If you’ve never seen or heard of The Trailer Park Boys this is a good intro sampler to what they offer.  It’s a Canadian TV show that features the everyday life of 3 down and out buddies.  Check out this clip, I love it… The post Space Weed appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Past & Present

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:00 pm
    Chino Otsuko is a Tokyo born – London based photographer who took old family pictures of her young self and photoshopped in her current modern self seamlessly to create some mind trip/looper-esk photographs.  She calls the project “Imagine Finding Me.”  Check them out, they are pretty cool.   via The post Past & Present appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • I Like These (31)

    20 Nov 2014 | 6:30 am
    Good morning, frigid temps here in LA, this morning I could see my breath. Blizzard in Buffalo, NY Jamaica Butt has grown tremendously over the years Suburbs in China Norway Just missing the ass gurl The post I Like These (31) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Rudy’s Roundup

    19 Nov 2014 | 12:00 pm
    Welcome to Rudy’s Roundup.  Everyone knows Rudy’s love for the female species and his admiration for a nice set of breast and fat plump ass, but Rudy needs to hear from you.  As a man of all men and his love for Sociology Rudy wants to see what kind girls, asses and titties you love.  Under each photo are numbers with boxes next to them ranging from 5, which is your dream bitch, down to 0, which is that crack whore that haunts your worst nightmare.  Select a number to provide that picture with votes and at the end click the “Submit” button to see how these…
  • Young Hobo Walken

    19 Nov 2014 | 10:00 am
    Check out these old and creepy pictures of a young Christopher Walken dressed and performing as a clown.  Man, these pics really make him seem old. The post Young Hobo Walken appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • Words of Wisdom (Part 3)

    Winston Chong
    19 Nov 2014 | 7:19 am
    Here are my lines for today. Why do I bother standing in line every morning at the train station to reach my workstation just to clear my projects before my deadline? Why am I asked to think out of the box but never to cross the line? Am I destined to be stuck in this production line in my life until I reach my finishing line? I tried calling the helpline for answers but it was offline. The bottom line is that I'm gonna get lines around my eyes and forehead sooner than later. I might as well acquire laugh lines along the way.*****Instagrope:the act by your friend to forcefully take your…
  • Master post - Words of Wisdom

    Winston Chong
    19 Nov 2014 | 7:17 am
    Part 3Part 2Part 1
  • Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

    Winston Chong
    27 Oct 2014 | 6:45 am
    1. Porn: there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.  2. Personal porn: you can have a ball of a time elsewhere ogling at female bloggers slash model slash actress slash race queen providing revealing selfies. No need for this nerd to pimp himself.3. Food porn: I don't own a DSLR nor do I get to eat for free. iEat, iBurp, iShit. 4. Word porn: I find scolding jerks using vulgarities or genitalia a lazy cop-out. There are far more flowery words to choose to insult someone with greater effect.5. Social porn: no inspirational quotes or…
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 4)

    Winston Chong
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:24 pm
      Too proud to beg,Too dumb to steal,Too shy to ask,Too stiff to learn,Too meek to reject, Too smart to admit any of that*****   I don't go into discussions about whether I see my proverbial cup as half-empty or half-full. Because I always make sure my cup is overflowing at all times...with ice-cold beer. When I'm at play, it will be quench my thirst. When I'm at work, it will be dumped on those idiots who step on my toes, which I constantly need refilling! ***** A senior and longtime middle-aged female colleague had this weird notion that I'm still single and wanted to intro a…
  • 9 things I learnt in Seoul after 6 days or how I 'start to stop the keeping warm jar'

    Winston Chong
    2 Oct 2014 | 7:16 am
    I think Japanese are friendlier.1. Despite the plethora of skin-care boutiques, not all Koreans are blessed with glowing complexion, and it makes you wonder about the effectiveness of those face masks.2. Real Koreans have single eyelid. Those with double eyelids are happy customers from the dozens of cosmetic surgery clinics that lined the boulevards.3. There are few eye candies that caught my eyes. The cosmetically enhanced ones are already in K-Pop bands, TV dramas and movies. Tourists can see the real Koreans by visiting the country.4. Major shopping districts will have multiple shops from…
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    Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines - Melanys Guydlines

  • Win Official Lucky Star from International Star Registry ® : 2 Winners, $110 Value

    19 Nov 2014 | 2:01 pm
    It is that time of year where we are all scrambling to find the perfect gift. Of course, you could buy someone flowers or give them chocolate but why not go to the extra mile? Like all the way to the Cosmos in our galaxy better known as the Milky Way. I mean – how cool is that? Did you know that you could officially name a star? The International Star Registry ® can make this dream come true for you. All I had to do when naming my star was decide on the name. This could be anyone –... Continue Reading
  • You Had Me At Wine In Paradise: Red Stitch Wine Event At Sanctuary On Camelback Mountain

    16 Nov 2014 | 10:04 am
    This post is easy to write. The only part that would make it better is if I could do these things all over again. Do you think we could rewind the clock back a week or so just for me? Please? I have been a good girl! If I can’t do that then I will settle for sharing my must see, must eat, must drink and must travel things with you…well, that YOU MUST DO ASAP! Travel to Scottsdale Arizona and stay at the Sanctuary on Camelback Mountain. I received a press release about a Red Stitch wine event at... Continue Reading
  • Win $315 Monat Hair Care Package: The Natural & Healthy Hair Revolution

    12 Nov 2014 | 8:08 pm
    Last week I introduced you to Hairfinity Hair Vitamins, which gives hair healthy nourishment from the inside out. So, why not let you in on another little secret to my healthy hair and what I use on the outside to achieve my voluptuous locks? Introducing MONAT Hair! The Monat hair care line is a naturally based and contains oils that help hair grow thicker, longer, stronger, healthy and youthful with long-lasting results. We all want that right? Especially, since the weather is turning cold and our hair, skin and nails are thirsty and not for Grey Goose. What can we do to... Continue…
  • The Higher The Hair The Closer To Healthy: Hairfinity

    7 Nov 2014 | 11:25 am
      Summer is now officially gone (well, almost even though it was in the 80’s in Arizona yesterday). I love the sun…like a lot, a lot but not in I rolled around in a bag of Dorritos kind of way. Side note: please chill on the self-tanner ladies and if you must rub yourself orange – blend it, k? No one likes to see streaks on the back of your legs. It is inevitable that when the weather changes not only do I lose my tan but my skin and nails take a hit as well. Haven’t you noticed that... Continue Reading
  • Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

    5 Nov 2014 | 8:25 am
    Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other... Continue Reading
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • The Faceless Edition

    18 Nov 2014 | 7:23 am
    Like John Cena, you can’t see us. We record this podcast from behind our computers. But, unlike the 50 other people on the internet, you know who we are. We discuss what facelessness means for many of our culture’s favorite causes. Also, in TV with JML, we further consider the Romantic/Naturalistic stylistic balance on The Walking Dead.
  • The Big Lie Edition

    10 Nov 2014 | 10:27 pm
    “You can keep your plan.” “Christopher Nolan’s movies are cold and emotionless.” “I’ve never done this with a guy before.”  These lies and more come up as we discuss an admitted Obamacare lie, rave over Interstellar in our analysis of it, and get super honest when discussing lies we’ve told. We also premiere a new segment, Name a Narcissist.
  • The Speak Up Edition

    3 Nov 2014 | 11:21 pm
    Are you tired of cats not calling you? We are, so we try to identify the reason they only call women. Along the way, we dispense some social justice and figure out what’s wrong with the current seasons of Doctor Who and The Walking Dead. Also, did you know Tim Cook is gay?
  • Winter Solider Gate

    27 Oct 2014 | 6:29 pm
    Stop the downloads, there’s a schism in The Midside. Elliot loves Captain America: Winter Soldier whereas Justin hates it. In this special abridged episode, Daniel arbitrates the disagreement by giving his take and leading a discussion on the movie. But first, Elliot sorts out Justin and Daniel’s confusion over what Gamergame is about.
  • The Civil War Edition

    22 Oct 2014 | 3:21 pm
    Are you an Iron Man Fan or a Captain America Defender? Justin and Elliot take their sides and state their cases for the upcoming Marvel Civil War. Later in TV with JML, we unpack the latest episodes of The Walking Dead and Doctor Who and Daniel shares his excitement over CBS’ Digital Subscription Service. Also, there’s a lot of talk about shitting on people.
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  • Last Day on Earth

    19 Nov 2014 | 7:23 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Last Day on Earth appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Scumbag Alcohol does it again

    26 Oct 2014 | 1:23 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Scumbag Alcohol does it again appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Gamers Life

    24 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Gamers Life appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • That Summarizes Wresting

    23 Oct 2014 | 4:55 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post That Summarizes Wresting appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • People Need to Become More Aware

    21 Oct 2014 | 10:35 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post People Need to Become More Aware appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
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    Funny Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes | Short Real Inspiring Stories

  • “Fighting together no mission is impossible.”- Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes on Attorney

    20 Nov 2014 | 7:12 am
    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on lawyers, Comic Small Story with the owner, Superb Awesome article on sandwich, Quotes on unity, Lawyers proof Cartoon Joke
  • “Dad is the enemy who is always right.”- Joke, Cartoon, Quote on girlfriend

    19 Nov 2014 | 4:54 am
    My dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend. He said, "You know, you could do better.""Thanks dad, that means a lot," I replied."I was talking to your girlfriend."Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on imaginary feelings, Comic Small Story with Dad, Superb Awesome article on Girlfriend, Quotes on Enemy, Dad’s age effects Cartoon Joke
  • “A pretty face Never Hurts a Sale.”- Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes on Cheque Book

    18 Nov 2014 | 6:54 am
        A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life?"        The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book !!Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on book, Comic Small Story with bookseller, Superb Awesome article on Cheque book, Quotes on Sale, Cheques Cartoon Joke
  • “Quest for some things are never justified.”- Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes on Military

    17 Nov 2014 | 12:06 am
    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic device, capable of making bazillions of decisions in split nanoseconds, is designed to solve all military problems with the greatest of ease. To test its capabilities, the brass poses a tactical problem to it and then asks for a decision, "Attack or Retreat?" The computer hums a bit, blinks a myriad of lights and answers, "Yes." The brass, somewhat confused by this answer, replies, "Yes what?" The computer instantly replies, "Yes, sir!" Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on pentagon, Comic Small Story with…
  • “Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.”- Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes on Wife

    14 Nov 2014 | 5:09 am
    "If you ever spent a Sunday with me instead of playing golf I swear I would drop dead," she screamed. "There's no point in trying to bribe me," replied the husband. Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes by Husband, Comic Small Story with wife, Superb Awesome article on bribing, Quotes on Alternatives, Suffering Existence Cartoon Joke
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  • 99 iPhones not enough to sway Chinese girl-friend

    12 Nov 2014 | 12:19 am
    A man from Guangzhou, China wanted to ditch his bachelor status for Singles Day, a Chinese holiday observed on Nov. 11 that encourages single people to mingle. The desperata suitor purchased 99 iPhone 6s and arranged the phones in the shape of a heart #ghantagiri |
  • BUY NOW! Sachin Tendulkar: Playing it My Way – My Autobiography

    8 Nov 2014 | 1:42 pm
    BUY NOW! Sachin Tendulkar: #ghantagiri |
  • Best News Bloopers October 2014

    31 Oct 2014 | 11:34 pm
    Funny news bloopers that hit the internet this month. PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! BEST NEWS BLOOPERS 2012 BEST NEWS BLOOPERS 2013 Best News Bloopers October 2014 Best News Bloopers September 2014 Best News Bloopers August 2014 Best News Bloopers July 2014 Best News Bloopers June 2014 Best News Bloopers May 2014 Best News Bloopers April 2014 Best News…
  • With Singorama You’ll Learn to Sing Like a Professional!

    20 Oct 2014 | 10:50 pm
    Discover how to improve your vocal range by at least one octave! – With #ghantagiri |
  • A simpler way to make hard hitting beats and grooves on your Mac or PC

    20 Oct 2014 | 10:16 pm
    BTV Professional Music Production Software works as a standalone application or with your DAW as a VST or AU plugin. #ghantagiri |
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • Cozy Up With A Bowl of Johnny Depp

    18 Nov 2014 | 5:17 am
    We all have fantasies, am I right? Some of us want to run a marathon in under a two hours… Others want to feed their signature recipes to Al Roker as he reports the weather on the Today Show… While a select few of us want to go sledding down a frozen cloud, splashing into a hot spring filled with Ryan Gosling and Reynolds clones… Only to be immediately served some sizzling salmon skin by Eric Winter in gonad squeezers… Oh, [Read On!]
  • Mean Girls Is Quite The Holiday Movie

    11 Nov 2014 | 7:55 pm
    “Okay seriously Christmas, I’m sorry that [you're] so jealous of me… I can’t help that I’m so popular!” “Shove a Kalteen Bar in your pie whole, Thanksgiving. PS: Stop trying to make ‘FETCH’ happen.” “I can stick my fist in my mouth,” New Year’s Eve chimed in. At that absurd comment, both Thanksgiving and Christmas looked at New Year’s Eve with utter disgust and downright embarrassment. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve, on the surface seem to be civil with [Read On!]
  • Identity Crisis Cake Doughnuts

    4 Nov 2014 | 5:23 am
    This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Pure Via®, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #PureViaSweet Some days I wake up in the morning and think I am Blake Lively. However, I am quickly reminded that I am not… When I turn over, trying to grab for Ryan Reynolds’ man boobs… Only to embrace… Filbert. I’m not the only one who sometimes thinks they’re something they’re actually not… This tomato thinks it’s [Read On!]
  • Water You Drinking?

    28 Oct 2014 | 5:20 am
    You’d think one of the worst experiences when drinking water is to chug a few gulps… Only to notice… Some teeny, tiny, fluffy bunnies… Or excuse me, food particles (perhaps some left over cinnamon bun from four days ago… Or remnants of the Honey Nut Cheerios you gobbled up this morning…) floating around in it. Wait, was that even your water? I know when this happens to me, I don’t need to grab a spoon in order to make myself [Read On!]
  • Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

    21 Oct 2014 | 9:02 pm
    I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]
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  • Wednesday craziness – A funny humporama

    19 Nov 2014 | 3:32 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersWednesday craziness – If in need for a midweek enhancer, we may just have what you need. Today we’ve decided to treat all of you online giggle junkies to a Hump day fix of craze. Don’t beat yourselves up though; be assured that there’s no way in the world that we would ever even consider leading you on a guilt trip… No, please see the following venture as a rib-tickling journey. Wishing you a delightful PMSLweb moment! This post Wednesday craziness – A funny humporama appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet…
  • Amusing pictures – Funny pics to feed your soul

    18 Nov 2014 | 6:31 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersAmusing pictures – Getting through the week without allowing yourself a few giggles left and right seems a little suicidal if you want our opinion. In order to keep the spirits up and kicking, why not treat yourself to our daily selection of funny pictures…. Needless to say, free of charge. Wishing you a jocular PMSLweb moment! This post Amusing pictures – Funny pics to feed your soul appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • LMAO pictures – Kick starting a smile packed week

    17 Nov 2014 | 6:29 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersLMAO pictures – Were you aware that one worker out of two will end up being late for work today Monday, and that in average each person will turn out to be productive for about 3.50h? No joke, the internet says so… and who are we to question what the world leading source of knowledge is kind enough to bring to our attention. Anyway, it’s time to get stuck into some Monday funnies. Wishing you a diverting PMSLweb moment! This post LMAO pictures – Kick starting a smile packed week appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet…
  • Sunday giggles – Because Monday can wait

    16 Nov 2014 | 6:15 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersSunday giggles – We hope that the weekend has been treating you good so far, may you or not be concerned by the end of the week break. It’s a fact; every hour which goes by does takes us one step closer to the unwavering “Monday the Terrible”; but over thinking the inevitable will end up serving no purpose whatsoever, so why not just enjoy what recreational time we have left on our hands… Wishing you a chillax PMSLweb moment! This post Sunday giggles – Because Monday can wait appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet…
  • Friday craze – Humor is reason gone mad

    14 Nov 2014 | 4:59 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersFriday craze – As all productivity suddenly seems to hit a stall, the mind on the contrary takes a turn for the worst… Friday is here and minute by minute all milestones linked to your professional background slowly fade away. Anyway, long story short, it’s time for a handful of wicked funnies! Wishing you a smile-packed PMSLweb moment! This post Friday craze – Humor is reason gone mad appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
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  • Just Released: New Blogging U. Ebooks

    Ben Huberman
    10 Nov 2014 | 8:00 am
    Our recent Writing 101 and Writing 201 Blogging U. courses were a huge success — so we thought you should be able to enjoy them even if your schedule didn’t allow you to take them in real time. We’re happy to announce that both courses are now offered as free ebooks, available for download in .pdf, .mobi (Kindle), and .epub (iBooks) formats. While conceived with nonfiction writers in mind, fiction writers (we know you’re out there, NaNoWriMo participants!) could find both courses just as useful. Which ebook should you choose? Writing 101: Build a Blogging Habit…
  • Emoji Everywhere 🎃

    Marcus Kazmierczak
    6 Nov 2014 | 3:05 pm
    Emoji? What are they? “Emoji” is a Japanese term meaning “picture character.” It’s a standard for showing smileys and other little symbols inside text. But unlike traditional smileys that are made up of a sequence of letters like , every emoji has its own letter. Emoji blossomed on smartphones, where quickly picking out an emoji is often faster than typing out a long sentence. Today we’re rolling out hundreds and hundreds of emoji across — 872 to be exact. Do they look familiar? That’s because Twitter has graciously decided to open-source their entire set,…
  • New Themes: Editor and Sequential

    David A. Kennedy
    6 Nov 2014 | 7:16 am
    Today, we have two new free themes ready for you! Editor Meet Editor, a new addition to our theme collection designed by Mike McAlister at Array. Geared toward personal bloggers and photo bloggers, Editor features big typography and images and a tab-based sidebar with a spot for featured posts, a site logo, and a social links menu. Editor makes it easy to put a personal stamp on your site or blog. Learn more about the free Editor theme at the Theme Showcase, or preview it by going to Appearance → Themes. Sequential Crafted by Thomas Guillot, Sequential is a contemporary, clean, and…
  • Longreads’ Best of WordPress, Vol. 8

    Mike Dang
    5 Nov 2014 | 8:51 am
    We’re back with a new collection of our favorite stories from across all of WordPress. 1. Books for the Broken-Hearted Hannah Richell Hannah Richell’s husband Matt was killed in a surfing accident in July. In a recent post, Richell writes about finding comfort in reading words written by people who have also experienced the shock of losing a loved one — people like Joan Didion, C.S. Lewis, and Cheryl Strayed. 2. The Shame of Poor Teeth in a Rich World Sarah Smarsh, Aeon An essay about growing up poor in America, and the role of teeth as a class signifier. 3. Giving Up the Ghost…
  • Vote in Today’s US Midterm Elections

    Peter Slutsky
    3 Nov 2014 | 9:00 pm
    Today, across the United States, Americans will go to the polls and vote in the US Midterm Elections. Voting is our most fundamental responsibility as citizens — without it, our American democracy wouldn’t exist. is a platform that gives everyday people the ability to share their voice and we’re asking you to take advantage of this voice — by exercising your right to vote today — November 4th, 2014. We want to provide our US-based users a set of resources to help them make a smart, informed decision when it comes to who they will vote for. We also want…
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  • This Is How Food Throwing Led To Police Raid

    Clever Cleverinski
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:46 pm
    You may like to throw food at your friends and relatives. Well, don’t do that in school. You may end read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • These Are The Terrifying Results of Using Apple Pay

    Roman Marshanski
    16 Nov 2014 | 7:34 pm
    You may have heard that Apple Pay requires the use of fingerprints. What you haven’t heard, is the terrifying results read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Who Is Barack Obama: The Bitter Truth

    Clever Cleverinski
    12 Nov 2014 | 11:58 pm
    The worst embarrassment to happen to African American population since Jim Crow. He has embarrassed this country more than any read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Best Funny Puns Of All Time

    Clever Cleverinski
    12 Nov 2014 | 12:00 am
    Check out this awesome collection of funny puns. They are the best you will ever find. They are so funny read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • The Wolf of Wall Street Movie Review

    Roman Marshanski
    10 Nov 2014 | 11:58 pm
    The Wolf of Wall Street is one of Scorsese’s best movies. It also features DiCaprio in his best role. As read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
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    I Hate Working In Retail


    20 Nov 2014 | 1:19 pm
    I’ve seen plenty of lists of things that annoy baristas on sites like  Most of them consist of complicated orders.  For me, I could care less how complicated your order is.  Baristas are guilty of the most complicated of orders.  It’s all in how you order.  It’s also in how much sense your drink […] The post 10 THINGS THAT MIFF YOUR BARISTA appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
  • Walmart Asking Employees To Donate Food To Co-Workers

    20 Nov 2014 | 11:49 am
    Almost exactly a year ago, a Walmart in Ohio made headlines for an employee food drive intended to help support their fellow Walmart workers. Now come reports of additional stores rolling out the donation bins, showing that the retailers employees try to take care of one another while also spotlighting the question of whether or […] The post Walmart Asking Employees To Donate Food To Co-Workers appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
  • Is This The World’s Most Expensive Grocery Store?

    20 Nov 2014 | 11:36 am
    The acronym “wtf” gets thrown around a lot on the internet, and I can’t think of anything that better sums up the price of food in Canada’s Artic Circle. If you live in this region, I’m sorry, nobody should have to pay this much for frozen taquitos. It probably also explains why the native people […] The post Is This The World’s Most Expensive Grocery Store? appeared first on I Hate Working In Retail.
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  • Five Things That Happen in Girl Movies That Would Never Happen in Real Life

    Esther Nevarez
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:25 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor A lot of girls I know enjoy a good girl movie. The downfall is, women get odd expectations of what should be romantic. FYI, men are not clued into these weird romantic fantasies. If a man sits through Fifty First Dates, he’s probably secretly checking his fantasy football stats while waiting for you to let him make out with you. 1. You Drop Something and Your Hands Touch While He Helps You Pick It Up In the girl movies, this usually happens at a grocery store where the man and woman accidentally bump carts and she drops her produce. He then rushes to bend…
  • 20th Anniversary *BEST OF* Dating Advice w/Heather

    Heather Kozlakowski
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:24 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Heather is a single female comic in her late 30’s who has been on 22 dates in the past eight months and still lives alone with her cat. Heather Letting her give dating advice is absurd. Is a straight woman who likes watching girl on girl porn really a lesbian? Signed, Confused Dear Confused, Nope, makes her a narcissist. Why do married guys always want to spend money on dating other women, but say they can’t afford a divorce? Sincerely, WTF Dear WTF, As a single woman I can only compare this behavior to my relationship with my credit cards: Card #1 is…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #BadMissedConnections @midnight: Our Top Picks

    Jonathan Palmer
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:21 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Comedy Central’s social media-minded game show @midnight continues to blow up Twitter with its nightly #HashtagWars. We present to you our completely subjective Top Tweet’s from #BadMissedConnections, in no particular order. (Special guest tweet picker – #hashtagwarrior @vasego1) You were Napoleon Bonaparte. I was an average height. #BadMissedConnections @midnight — Becczio GAWDitore (@RJswanee) November 20, 2014 You were the Mayor, I sold you crack. I'm back in Toronto, do you still need crack, page me. #BadMissedConnections @midnight…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #WhatWillHappenToBieber via #HumpTagging: Our Top Picks

    Christopher D
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:20 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor We want to thank everybody who played #WhatWillHappenToBieber Its sounds like he has a lot of interesting adventuress ahead. Many rang true, here are some our favorites. Gets religion and becomes a #ChristianDadsWhoVape #WhatWillHappenToBieber — Lisa McGuire (@lisamcguire1) November 20, 2014 Eventually undergoes sex reassignment surgery to become male. #WhatWillHappenToBieber — Jason accidentally (@Jason_Bizzle) November 20, 2014 Palin/Bieber '16! #WhatWillHappenToBieber — Brian B. (@BigBrain61) November 20, 2014 He will be murdered…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #InThe90s via @BreezyPuffs: The Top Picks

    Breezy Puffs
    20 Nov 2014 | 4:14 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor So many great tweets for #InThe90s. It wasn’t easy but here are #SheNaniGans (@breezypuffs‘s) top picks: #InThe90s I had to wait three weeks for dick pics. — Teresa (@doctorwho_dat) November 19, 2014 You drank the whiskey drink You drank the vodka drink You drank the Lager Drink You drank the Cider Drink #inthe90s @HashtagShenani — View from my office (@viewfrommyoffic) November 19, 2014 #InThe90s A "selfie" was something totally different… It usually involved your parents leaving the house — SophieDiddles…
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    Peak Perspective

  • I’ve Learned My Lesson

    15 Nov 2014 | 8:11 pm
    The other day I mentally took inventory of the most important people in my life. Strangely enough, Ben & Jerry did not quite make the short list. They were close, but had to be cut in order to make room for all the Glens and Bens in my whisky cabinet. Some of these folks would […]
  • Falling Off the Map

    8 Nov 2014 | 6:58 pm
    I am a big fan of maps. I am a big admirer of spontaneity. The two are not usually found holding hands. But recently, I spied them making come hither looks at one another and decided to watch an unlikely romance blossom. Being a timely planner, getting my hands on the ultimate map for purposes of […]
  • Ode to a Pot Roast

    1 Nov 2014 | 7:23 pm
    Ode to a Pot Roast If ever there was a form of food So humble in its name It’d have to be this hunk of meat A winter insurance claim. To hear it mentioned as for sup Elicits moans and sighs To see it brought upon a plate Will bring on widened eyes. Choosing a […]
  • Give Me the Straight Dope

    25 Oct 2014 | 7:17 pm
    General words of wisdom suggest everything in moderation, right? But I’ve got an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, steamy kind of dreamy need for podcasts. And I think my weakness might hover right on the edge of addiction. I actually crave my daily dose with an urgency that suggests the necessity for an intervention. I’m a […]
  • This is No Laughing “Matter”

    18 Oct 2014 | 7:36 pm
    Two weeks later there are seventeen staples. That’s the punch line of this joke. Except, it ended up being much more of a punch in the gut, than a good giggle. Still, as with every adventure I experience, there is a constant narrative running in my mind. I cannot stop it. I share it with […]
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    Robot Butt

  • McDonald’s Unveils Marketing Campaign Geared Towards Maniacs

    Robot Butt News Corp.
    20 Nov 2014 | 12:59 pm
    Oak Brook, IL – Facing sagging revenues and a steady decrease of customers, fast food giant McDonald’s has unveiled a number of new marketing campaigns to help generate business from a wide variety of new customer segments that are otherwise ignored in society, including maniacs, serial killers and psychopaths.“We’re attempting to create the widest possible net for potential customers,” said James Travers, VP of Marketing at the McDonald’s Corporation. “We believe that even the most mentally disturbed and dangerous among us need to eat.”One…
  • The Senate Doesn’t Like to Party: An Op-Ed on the Keystone XL Pipeline

    Xander Simmons III
    20 Nov 2014 | 5:20 am
    Xander Simmons III, Chief Executive PartierThis is a message to my fellow, dear Americans, including those fat cats up in Washington, and it is a simple one – you really screwed up. You saw an opportunity, and what did you do? You tossed it out the window. You squandered it, and in doing so, caused the unnecessary suffering of many American citizens.I’ve never been so disgusted with the bureaucrats of this country as I am at this moment, and every citizen of this, the greatest country in the world, should be, too.You don’t even have to ask me, Xander Simmons III, President of the…
  • Happy International Men’s Day!

    Steve DiMatteo
    19 Nov 2014 | 1:33 pm
    Did you know that today is International Men’s Day? In honor of the occasion, let’s highlight some of history’s all-stars:Christopher ColumbusAdolf HitlerJeffrey DahmerCharles MansonDavid BerkowitzJoseph StalinO.J. SimpsonEdmund KemperOsama bin LadenVladimir PutinJerry SanduskyPope Urban IIHans GruberAbu Musab al-ZarqawiH.H. HolmesIdi AminPeter ManuelJohn Wayne GacyEd GeinDennis RaderAttila the HunAdolf EichmannVlad the ImpalerHirohitoTamerlan TsarnaevTed BundyVinayagamoorthy MuralitharanJohn Wilkes BoothJoran van der SlootPablo EscobarFred WestAlex DeLargeRasputinPeter…
  • Corporate Wizard Uses Shrinking Powers to Downsize Marketing

    Robot Butt News Corp.
    19 Nov 2014 | 10:18 am
    Cincinnati, OH – Using a long forgotten and deeply forbidden black magic, Warlock Kragthor the Bone Slayer and Soul Keeper summoned a shrinking spell from the burning depths of the lowest circle of hell to downsize the marketing department of Taste-E Dog Treats Limited.Sworn and bound to serve the Chief Marketing Officer for 3 cycles of the great mother moon, Kragthor spent many late nights in council with the Chief and many daybreaks in deep study of the marketing department.According to the mighty Chief, the marketing department had grown fat during the Years of Plenty, and the…
  • Behold, the Most Insane Stock Image You’ll Ever See

    Steve DiMatteo
    19 Nov 2014 | 5:31 am
    We all know stock images can get pretty messed up, but look at the one we’ve included below. This is the most batshit crazy stock image I’ve ever seen. It might not seem that way at first since, most of the time, stock images are more overtly weird; you can instantly tell when it’s not right. Maybe it’s a stock image of a guy with devil horns having extreme bowel issues. Maybe it’s a picture of a wife about to cut her husband’s head like lettuce on the kitchen counter. Maybe it’s just a disturbing amount of pages devoted to images based on a search…
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    The Zu Comic Strip

  • The Zu Number 23

    Luke Jordan
    17 Nov 2014 | 9:20 am
  • The Zu Number 22

    Luke Jordan
    10 Nov 2014 | 7:37 am
  • The Zu Comic Strip Store

    Luke Jordan
    7 Nov 2014 | 10:42 pm
  • Grand Opening of Mo'Fo Zazzle Store!

    Luke Jordan
    7 Nov 2014 | 10:28 am
    I am really happy to have stuff with my stuff on it!!! Hope you find something you like on The Zu Comic Strip Zazzle Store. If your like me your a merch kid too, I've got mugs, statues, prints and t-shirts from the comics and strips I read regularly! Zazzle has a filter to hide ratings higher then a G rating, so if you don't see products change your filter settings in Zazzle. Thanks a lot for reading The Zu!!! The Zu Comic
  • The Zu Number 21

    Luke Jordan
    5 Nov 2014 | 10:25 am
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    Pranks - WTFisdit

  • Ultimate Topless Fails | “Dude, Put A Shirt On” || FailArmy

    4 Nov 2014 | 12:05 pm
    Soldiers! Don’t get caught without a shirt like these guys. Gear up with an exclusive “Fail is the New Win” t-shirt, available for the next 2 weeks only. Click here to get yours: Click to SUBSCRIBE for more awesome Fails! ► a Video ► to get Fail Army Gear! ► Like us on Facebook! ► us on Twitter! ►►►…
  • Dirtbike River Plunge | Dirtbikes Don’t Swim

    4 Nov 2014 | 10:00 am
    During a race at Extreme Lagares, this dirt bike rider doesn’t give his bike enough momentum to jump over this stream. Original Link: for awesome videos every day!: us on FACEBOOK: us on TWITTER: vids on INSTAGRAM: vids on VINE: TO WATCH NEXT:Mountain Bike Gap Crash: Wearing Donut:…
  • Fake Ads in Movies – Supercut

    4 Nov 2014 | 9:54 am
    Become a Screen Junkie! ►► When movies aren’t selling you real stuff, they love selling you fake stuff as well. Check out this supercut of some of the best ads for products that never existed! Movies used: Robocop (1987), Goodfellas, Wreck-It Ralph, Anchorman, Tropic Thunder, Jack and Jill, Jingle All the Way, Toy Story, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Serenity, Ghostbusters, Happy Gilmore, Batman (1989), Lost in Translation, Anchorman 2, Prometheus, Punch-Drunk Love, Donnie Darko, Requiem for a Dream, Talladega Nights, The Running Man, Tommy Boy,…
  • Everything Wrong With V For Vendetta

    4 Nov 2014 | 7:42 am
    Remember, remember, the 5th of November. Which… is actually tomorrow, but whatever. We’re close enough to get credit for releasing this video on the movie’s famous date. Oh, also, there are a bunch of sins here, so… buckle up. Thursday: Time Traveling sins. Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie’s sins do YOU want to see recounted? Tweet us: us: http://cinema-sins.tumblr.comCall us: 405-459-7466Reddit with us:
  • Motorcycle Race Crash | Bunk Bikes

    4 Nov 2014 | 4:00 am
    During a moto-cross race, Matt Hammer got amazing POV footage of one competitor landing on top of another while jumping off a dirt ramp. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt. Original Link: for awesome videos every day!: us on FACEBOOK: us on TWITTER: vids on INSTAGRAM: vids on VINE: TO WATCH NEXT:Double Dirt Bike Fail:…
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  • Chikku Bukku Rail

    18 Nov 2014 | 7:05 pm
    If there is one thing we all probably have in common is our love for trains. The sheer anticipation of a long trip, making the reservation, the packing, the trip to the station, the strategy of securing a window seat- They are all individual adventures imprinted on the fabric of our memory.
  • Everybody needs a platform

    17 Nov 2014 | 11:23 am
    We witnessed magic at the GPTM (Greater Portland Tamizh Mandram) function this saturday. How do a bunch of elementary and middle school kids bring this hypnotic and spell binding effect? Talent? You betcha. Vijay TV: Are you watching?
  • Mahabharat to Ponniyin Selvan- Part I

    12 Nov 2014 | 3:33 pm
    We didn't want Arjuna and Krishna to be separated. We knew a beautiful woman was hiding behind Kunti. We wanted the fiery temper of Aaditha Karikalan to come out, and the graceful charm of Kundhavai and bubbly nature of Vanathi. So here is Dho-Da's wish list for Ponniyin Selvan cast. If they happen, Dho-Da will want rights to the production.
  • How to be a Male Chauvinist Pig

    11 Nov 2014 | 5:59 pm
    I don’t mind being called names. In fact you can be captain "Haddock" from "Tintin" and scream “billions of blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon and call me an ectoplasm or sea urchin” and I wouldn’t mind it
  • Messy Business

    9 Nov 2014 | 11:06 pm
    If a picture is worth a thousand words, I saved myself a lot of typing
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  • My Swag!

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:17 pm
    my swag, The post My Swag! appeared first on Punk'd.
  • Three types of people!

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:13 pm
    Three types of people The post Three types of people! appeared first on Punk'd.
  • Height of Selfie!

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:11 pm
    Height of Selfie! The post Height of Selfie! appeared first on Punk'd.
  • Anthropology!

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:09 pm
    Anthropology The post Anthropology! appeared first on Punk'd.
  • That’s smooth!

    20 Nov 2014 | 12:07 pm
    That’s smooth! The post That’s smooth! appeared first on Punk'd.
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