Humor

  • Most Topular Stories

  • I was going to title this “Letting the cat out of the bag” but, frankly, I think we’re all better than that.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    I just went to throw away the empty sack Victor left on the counter after he unpacked the groceries* but then I heard the bag rustling and looked at Victor and said, “Sir?  Have you left your bags unattended at any time?” And then Ferris Mewler gave me that panicked guilty look of “OMG, WTF?  KNOCK FIRST” and I was like, “Hang on.  What did you do?”  And that’s when I looked in and realized he’d ripped open a catnip mouse in there and was having a small, paranoid kitty freak-out. It was like a tiny paper hotbox and now I think he…
  • Squirt the Monkey Showers for Talk Show | Paid in Bananas

    Pranks - WTFisdit
    admin
    19 Oct 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Prepping for a talk show, Squirt the monkey takes a shower to make sure she smells good!SUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Truck Bed Car Wash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx1AeVDS0SwMonkey Loves Mango: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxErEl6MRfU JukinVideo is the leading viral video community channel dedicated to showcasing the hottest…
  • Kindergartners at the preschool reunion

    Ann's Rants
    Ann Imig
    16 Sep 2014 | 10:35 am
    Recently my niece (who works as a nanny) made me aware that not only do some preschools hold graduation ceremonies, but some also hold reunions for their graduates. Imagine all the catching up among those 5-year-olds! Okay, I’ll imagine for you…   “OMG! You look exactly the same!!” “No, I look better. I wipe my own nose now!”   “Boy, please, those skinny jeans look AMAZE. What’s your secret?” “No diaper butt, no problem! [wink]“   “Wememboh when we wew babies and couldn’t say ouw lettoh ow?
  • I will punch you in the deck if you talk like that again.

    #funnyemails
    Pradeep
    16 Sep 2014 | 9:53 am
    Filed under: #funnyemails, humour, insane, wmml, youtube Tagged: australia, awesome
  • What Happens When You Ignore Your Mom's Texts

    CollegeHumor: Videos
    17 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    CollegeHumor supports the #X initiative - the perfect way to not get disowned by your mom.
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    The Bloggess

  • I was going to title this “Letting the cat out of the bag” but, frankly, I think we’re all better than that.

    thebloggess
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    I just went to throw away the empty sack Victor left on the counter after he unpacked the groceries* but then I heard the bag rustling and looked at Victor and said, “Sir?  Have you left your bags unattended at any time?” And then Ferris Mewler gave me that panicked guilty look of “OMG, WTF?  KNOCK FIRST” and I was like, “Hang on.  What did you do?”  And that’s when I looked in and realized he’d ripped open a catnip mouse in there and was having a small, paranoid kitty freak-out. It was like a tiny paper hotbox and now I think he…
  • Well, they’ll never have to restock at least.

    thebloggess
    17 Oct 2014 | 7:57 am
    Picture I took outside my grocery store: Inflation is really getting out of hand. On my way out I showed the cashier the picture and asked if the price was really “zero bundles of wood for $3.95″ and she told me that she wasn’t sure how much wood was but that they’d honor whatever the price was on the sign.  I asked how much it would cost if I bought a dozen bundles and she stared at her register keys for a minute and then said “Oh.  Wait.  I think I need a manager.”  And that would be good because if I’m reading it right the sign basically…
  • NOOOPE.

    thebloggess
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:58 pm
    If you haven’t checked it out today then click here to see my update on my Honorary Super-Doctorate.   Medicinal Margarita Madness and mandatory napping will commence as soon as the mail arrives.  Unless, possibly, ASU is just is waiting for me to get distracted and that’s not going to happen becauOHMYGOD HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CRAZY BULLSHIT? Several people are aware of my severe giant squid phobia and lovingly (?) sent me this video of a giant squid attacking a Greenpeace submarine, and that’s unsettling enough, but WHY IS THERE ANOTHER SQUID BEHIND IT SPITTING OUT FIRE?
  • UPDATED: As soon as ASU gets back to me I’ll be available for consultations and endorsements. And it will be awesome.

    thebloggess
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:42 pm
    I’m not sure how it happened (I suspect voodoo) but I was somehow named the Distinguished Alumna of 2014 by Angelo State University, my hometown college.  (ASU Magazine clipping at right to prove I’m not just drunk right now.) It was very flattering but equally baffling, and I spent the weekend pretending to be “distinguished” and hoping that people wouldn’t realize that I am entirely overrated. I was given my award at a banquet where everyone else being recognized had a legitimate reason for being honored and they were all insanely awesome, professional,…
  • How can you say no?

    thebloggess
    12 Oct 2014 | 6:46 am
    So, I just opened a package and I may have squealed a tiny bit and then Victor was like “NO MORE TAXIDERMY” and it was unsettling because HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW THAT?  Apparently my “I’ve-got-taxidermy-mail” squeal is very obvious.  Or perhaps he was just playing the odds.  Regardless, he was right and he came into the room to tell me to stop with all the weird taxidermy because all those eyes on him were making him paranoid.  Personally, I think that’s more his problem and he needs to sort out his emotional baggage and not bring it into our house.
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • Cupcakes

    Lyndsey
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:35 pm
      Submitted by Drew The post Cupcakes appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Bad Movies

    Lyndsey
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:19 pm
      Submitted by Theresa The post Bad Movies appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Tag

    Lyndsey
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:17 pm
    Submitted by Josh The post Tag appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • …Like Cats And Dogs

    Lyndsey
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:32 pm
    I was dogsitting and wanted the owner to know that the dog was getting along just fine with the cat… Submitted by Ah The post …Like Cats And Dogs appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Storm’s A Brewin’

    Lyndsey
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    Submitted by deborah The post Storm’s A Brewin’ appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • A Small-Scale Organic Farmer Wants You to Know a Few Things by Claire Boyles

    20 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    Welcome to the farmers’ market. Let’s you and I share a moment this fine morning and admire the beautiful organic broccoli I am offering for sale today. I’m going to risk immodesty and point out that I have grown some flawless broccoli here. Months ago, I planted it from seed. Have you ever seen a broccoli seed? They are tiny, near microscopic. Planting broccoli seeds involves squinting and tweezers and special lighting. Broccoli seedlings are needy little fuckers, like newborn babies. I had to get up and check the greenhouse multiple times a night for two weeks to be sure they…
  • Field Notes from Gentrified Places: The Black Female Body by Vinson Cunningham

    20 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Because life is boring, and there wasn’t always such a thing as Netflix, and—let’s face it—good entertainment is way too hard to find, Saartjie Baartman, a young South African slave woman, was brought first to England and later to France, where in the early nineteenth century crowds gathered with the sole intention of looking at her butt. She was called the Hottentot Venus. It was large, Ms. Baartman’s behind, astonishingly big, and for a public held rapt by several spells – phrenology, white supremacy, and, in all seriousness, probably just a crippling amount of…
  • List: Things That Needed One More Iteration Before They Were Ready to Go to Market by Norman Birnbach

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:59 am
    • WD-39• Formula 408• “Love Potion No. 8”• Alberto V04.9• Heinz 56• 6Up• Jack Daniel’s No. 6 1/2• Chanel No. 4• 2M• “Two Times a Lady”• “Jenny/867-5308”• Armor All No. 6 Rubbing Compound• “98 Luftballoons”• “1998” and “I Would Die 3 U”• Porsche 899• Boeing 786• R2D1 and C2PO• iOS8
  • What the Terrible Psychic Said by Dan Kennedy

    17 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    I’m seeing a coastal place, Sausalito, maybe 1977 or 1978. Were you in Fleetwood Mac, or did you own that recording studio where they recorded their second album? No? Do you own a Mac computer? Or maybe a Fleetwood brand luxury motorhome? You probably enjoy sauces, that’s what it is, maybe.Okay, here we go, I’m picking something up here, I’m sensing that you were a… pro motocross racer in a place called Saddleback. Anything? No? Okay, that’s okay, have you ever ridden a horse using a saddle, or hurt your back, or enjoyed a company’s motto? Or maybe you simply worked in a…
  • Monologue: Hester Prynne Hosts a Nail Art Party by Laura Spadanuta

    17 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I hath made a good faith effort to engage ye Boston matronesses! Yet I am severely disappointed in your behaviour this evening. We are not gathered to gossip. On the contrary! I invited you here so that I may impart upon ye the delicate beauty of at-home nail decals. Thy behaviour hath been churlish and distracts from the important matter that I endeavour to address.Now, Mistress Hildersham, when I attempted to lead the “Who is the Girliest Girl?” game, as I am beholden to play by my nail art sales team leader, thou refused to provide testimonial by way of cataloguing the contents of your…
 
 
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    Cracked: All Posts

  • 11 Original Pickup Lines That Cannot Fail

    20 Oct 2014 | 9:39 am
    By William Lawson's  Published: October 20th, 2014  Pickup lines are a tricky business. Oftentimes, they're creepy to the point of deserving a slap. When they're not creepy, they're so corny that they warrant an eye roll so gloriously dramatic, sarcastic, and spiteful that the shame-stink of it will h
  • 5 TV Moments That Caused Bizarre Real-World Consequences

    20 Oct 2014 | 9:38 am
    By Chris Bucholz  Published: October 20th, 2014  Television isn't just some inconsequential, mindless diversion. It is that, sometimes, yes. But not always. Television can be meaningful, and not just in that hokey "makes you think" way, like when you realize that you really would like to go where e
  • 1 Billion New Prints Our Store Now Offers With Society6

    20 Oct 2014 | 5:05 am
    By CRACKED Staff  Published: October 20th, 2014  You might have noticed our Mighty-Soren-riffic Dispensary still proudly stands on the Internet, but over the last few days its shirt pages have led you to this thing: Let us explain: that thing it's leading you to IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE HISTOR
  • 6 Weirdly Conservative Messages Hidden in 'Ghostbusters'

    20 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Soren Bowie,After Hours  Published: October 20th, 2014 
  • 18 Terrifying News Stories You Didn't Know Were Media Panics

    20 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: October 20th, 2014  We all know people who like to whip out the latest and most shocking stories they just heard on the news to make a point, usually certified with some statement of "I just read an article about ..." or "No way, bro, this is totally true." But all bull
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    Predator Press

  • Internet Swag

    Michael Wolfe
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO]
  • The Four Corners

    Michael Wolfe
    11 Oct 2014 | 9:43 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] Disposing of my junk mail and shredded bills to prevent identity theft. At great expense to me, I fly Destry Dentin, DDS, from London to Sydney, Australia to destroy most of it.  Those guys can butcher the hell out of our fine American language, and oddly understand each other.  I am confident all relevant information will be promptly lost. But Albert Dente can be a little more complicated. "Yes I threw the crap into Mordor." "Wait," I says into the speakerphone.  "You were supposed to throw that stuff into Mount Doom." "That…
  • Alchemy

    Michael Wolfe
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:36 pm
    -LOBO Predator Press Many immolated themselves. Many jumped from tall buildings. Many immolated themselves, then jumped from tall buildings. -But I am having a hard time keeping up with life events. In the meantime I will be occasionally appearing at the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League. I'll be back.  I promise.
  • Why Does Heaven Need Gates? Is It In a Bad Neighborhood?

    Michael Wolfe
    1 Sep 2014 | 12:48 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] "So you raised four times as much as you need for the divorce?" Al asks, still browsing Tinder on my phone. "How about this one?" O please Al. Shut the fuck up. For five minutes. "How long until the divorce is final?" Albert Dente continued relentlessly. "Who cares?" I reply. "I decided to let the lovebirds take the hit. I paid off my car instead."
  • Fly Fighter

    Michael Wolfe
    6 Aug 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO] "Well, neither of us can afford a divorce," I says.  "One of us had to figure out a way to monetize the situation and get it over with." Rachel frowns.  "You don't think this is a little extreme?" "All's fair in love and war.  They will thank me later." "I kinda doubt that."
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • Keanu Reeves' Email Blast to Promote His New Movie

    zpoitras
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:16 pm
    Keanu Reeves' Email Blast to Promote ... Keanu Reeves decided to promote his new film 'John Wick' by sending a mass email to all his friends. Submitted by: zpoitras Regular Keywords: keanu reeves funny haha lol john wick movies action email blast jokes parody matrix neo actor oscars gmail Views: 8
  • 21 Best Pics of All Time of the Week

    jasonflowers
    19 Oct 2014 | 10:45 pm
    21 Best Pics of All Time of the Week This week's other pics never even stood a chance. Submitted by: jasonflowers Regular Keywords: funny pics funny pics best of the week best pics 21 best pics picdump lol lol pics animals pets kids costumes news fails funny signs dogs sex sex jokes sports gameday signs wtf Views: 87,530
  • Look Inside: A Predator Drone

    natedern
    17 Oct 2014 | 11:43 am
    Look Inside: A Predator Drone The MQ-1 predator drone is manufactured for the United States Air Force and CIA by defense contractor General Atomics. Though their covert nature makes exact figures hard to come by, it is estimated that since 2001 the U.S. has conducted thousands of drone strikes resulting in over 5,000 deaths in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Libya, and Iraq (source). To better understand this secretive governmental weapon of choice, join Funny Or Die News in this installment of our weekly series Look Inside. Submitted by: natedern Regular Keywords: predator drone…
  • Dracula's Review of 'Dracula: Untold'

    zpoitras
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Dracula's Review of 'Dracula: Untold' Dracula reviews 'Dracula: Untold' and he thinks it's a bunch of bullshit. Submitted by: zpoitras Regular Keywords: Dracula bram stoker sex fog movie review dracula: untold bullshit lol funny haha Views: 16,041
  • 21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week

    jasonflowers
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:30 am
    21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week This week's best GIFs appear to be slightly impaired. Submitted by: jasonflowers Worthy Keywords: funny pics gifs funny pics funny gifs best gifs best of the week 21 best pics fails pets combined gifs unexpected animals dogs cats news news fails sex halloween scares pranks Views: 92,840
 
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    vintage everyday

  • Mugshots of Female Nazi Concentration Camp Guards while Awaiting Trial in 1945

    John VE
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    These black and white portraits of the female prison camp guards which were taken after the liberation of the Bergen-Belsen, a Nazi concentration camp, while they were at Celle awaiting trial in 1945.Juana Bormann: sentenced to death.Herta Ehlert: sentenced to 15 years imprisonment.Ilse Forster: senetenced to 10 years imprisonment.Helene Kopper: sentenced to 15 years imprisonment.Hildegard Lohbauer: sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.See more »
  • Interesting Photos of Young John F. Kennedy Swims for Harvard in 1938

    John VE
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:42 am
    John F. Kennedy's favorite sport was swimming. In November 1937, Kennedy was 20 years old, and his time-trials were sufficiently speedy to gain him a place on the Harvard college swimming team. Here's a small collection of interesting black and white photos of JFK swimming in Harvard in 1938.(Photos: AP, via Mashable/ Retronaut)
  • Street Gangs in Springfield, Massachusetts, 1916

    John VE
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    Street gangs - corner of Margaret & Water Streets - 4:30 P.M. Location: Springfield, Massachusetts. Lewis W. Hine, 1916. (via Once Upon a Town)
  • Australian Women's Firsts in the Early 20th Century

    John VE
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:58 am
    Two of the first female men's barbers, Miss Dolly House and her sister, c.1927 / photographed by Sam Hood. The House sisters’ father, Jack House, ran the barber shop just underneath Australasian Films' film studio.First "Miss Australia", Beryl Mills of WA, 1927 / photographed by Sam Hood. Theatre commissionaire holds back crowd from the first "Miss Australia", Beryl Mills of Western Australia, outside Sydney’s Haymarket Theatre, 14 December 1927.Coffs Harbour, the first fully equipped women’s surf life saving competition team in the world, 1931 / photographed…
  • A young Elvis Presley photographed in 1948

    John VE
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:19 am
 
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • I Want the Red Velvet Oreo to Be Real So Bad!

    Luvvie
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:32 am
    Yall know I love all things red velvet. Red velvet cupcakes, cheesecake, cookies, waffles, pancakes, hot chocolate… I am the  bubba Gumb of red velvet. This is why in the past 48 hours, so many people have sent me this picture. Everyone has sent me this SAME picture and I Googled and wasn’t able to find out anything about OREO officially coming out with a red velvet flavor with cream cheese filling. BUT I WANT IT TO BE REAL SO BAD SO I CAN BUY EVERY BAG!!! Hear my cry, oh Lord! All this pumpkin spice madness… blah. But THIS? This is deliciousness I can stand behind. I need…
  • What Happened to Carrot Top and Why Does He Look Like Walking Photoshop?

    Luvvie
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:15 am
    Carrot Top’s comedy has always poked fun at what he looked like because he had the bright red hair and was all gangly. I see he got sick of being extra skinny one day so he decided to get into the gym and work himself tired. And I also think he felt like looking permanently confused/surprised so he opted for a couple of surgeries. I hadn’t seen him in a while but then I was sent this photo. WUT? Why?? Let’s just go from the top of the head down. First of all, that bed head he’s rocking. Didn’t nobody tell him that Jesus invented anti-frizz products? His hair…
  • Like Father, Like Daughter: Scandal Episode 404 Recap

    Luvvie
    17 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    The Hooked on Phonics Convention happened on last night’s Scandal episode because the amount of reading that went down was epic! Not only was the library open, but everyone got a book to take home after their life was read for filth! Chile, let’s talk about it! By the way, this is my longest Scandal recap yet because I transcribed every READ. You’re welcome! Almost Doesn’t Count – Jake is heading to his car in a dark parking lot and he pauses. He zones in on a little liquid dripping from the bottom of his car. He turns around and walks away as he turns on his car with the…
  • Brandy, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte and Yo-Yo Performing “I Wanna Be Down” Was Everything!

    Luvvie
    15 Oct 2014 | 8:53 am
    I did not watch the BET Hip Hop Awards last night because I forgot and nobody reminds me of anything anymore (*side-eyes everyone*). Plus I had work to do. I’m catching up with some of what I missed (amen, YouTube) and I got my entire LIFE with the performance that Brandy, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte and YoYo gave. “I wanna be down” IS MY FOREVER JAM!!! I just automatically hit my bankhead bounce like the correct 90s girls that I am. But yes. These 4 powerhouses onstage singing and rapping like the BOSSES that they are fed my spirit! Watch: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! This…
  • I’m So Ready to See Dear White People!

    Luvvie
    14 Oct 2014 | 7:20 am
    Chile, I’ve been excited about the movie Dear White People since I first heard about it. Created by young Black people (writer and director Justin Simien, producer Lena Waithe) and giving in-your-face commentary on racial dynamics in the United States. Looking around right now at what’s happening in Ferguson, you can see that we have so far to go. Or we can look in mainstream media and see all the boolsheet that’s being perpetuated about Black people (like that angry Black woman Shonda Rhimes piece, for example). DWP stars Teyonah Parris (who I love and is in Mad Men),…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready!

    Brittany
    10 Oct 2014 | 7:54 am
    Tickets for the August 2015 session of Camp Throwback are on sale!(...)Read the rest of Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready! (43 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down.

    Brittany
    8 Oct 2014 | 7:21 am
    What you don’t see in this picture…(...)Read the rest of Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down. (763 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Goodbye to Yesterday

    Brittany
    29 Sep 2014 | 4:30 am
    This is awkward. I don’t want it to be, but it is. We’ve become the sort of friends that are only friends because we don’t know how not to be. After 13 years it’s not meaningful, it’s habitual.(...)Read the rest of Goodbye to Yesterday (98 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • This is 200

    Brittany
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:11 am
    I can’t sleep. That’s a relatively normal thing, really, as anyone who has gotten completely coherent emails from me at 3am can attest. I don’t sleep. I have the next round of edits due on my book in, ohhhhhhh, 13 days. I was recently hired by a morning radio show to come and chat every Thursday, the fall session of Camp Throwback tickets go on sale October 13th, and I almost have the perfect cat eye down with my eyeliner. Obviously, I have a lot on my plate right now. So, I let my brain stay up long after I tuck in the small ones and the big hairy one, and I write on the…
  • Wide Calves. Tall Boots.

    Brittany
    10 Sep 2014 | 8:11 am
    It’s fall. I don’t care what the calendar says, everything tastes like pumpkins and candy is snack size, that’s how you know. And fall time means tall boots time, which happens to be my favorite time of all!(...)Read the rest of Wide Calves. Tall Boots. (624 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
 
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    Boondock Ramblings

  • Important Things to Consider When You Buy Instagram Followers

    boondocker
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:57 pm
    Right now, communicating and sharing every little thing are not the only things that people can do in various social networking sites. These websites get to be the outlet to know the latest info in the four corners of the globe. This is the reason why many businessmen deemed social media marketing as the best place to market their brands. Among the social media forums that is utilized by businessmen is Instagram. Actually,Instagram is widely known as a photo sharing website, nevertheless, this social media site has now become a highly effective tool for product and services promotion. Being…
  • Spanish Tutor London along with the Things You must Keep in mind Prior To Hiring Their Services

    boondocker
    14 Oct 2014 | 9:59 pm
    Learning a foreign language is complicated specifically if you are deciding to do it without the assistance of a professional. This clarifies precisely why most of the learners opt to obtain the services of a tutor rather to easily simplify the learning method. Obtaining the services of a Spanish tutor London is a great idea if you desire to learn the Spanish language. Looking for Spanish teachers London is not hard. In fact, these come in great numbers, offering you a chance to select. On the other hand, there are various things you should remember when searching for one. Something to…
  • Thailand Vacation Rentals – Look for Budget-Friendly Deals

    boondocker
    1 Oct 2014 | 2:54 am
    Do you want to experience the beauty of Thailand, and see its fantastic places up close? But wait, do you have a place to stay when you get there? If not, this post will offer you terrific suggestions with regards to Thailand vacation rentals. Thailand is a great country that belongs in the Southeast Asia. Actually; it is among those most visited nations throughout Asia. There are thick as well as green jungle, crystal blue waters, and surely tasty foods. As it is enjoyable to travel in this kind of place, it is also important for you to search for a nice place to stay. Tourists can choose…
  • Factors behind Picking the UHP Water Jetting

    boondocker
    25 Sep 2014 | 12:53 am
    Existing huge companies have lots of things to do, which is the main reason why they make use of big machines for their operations. Machines also take care of the required maintenance and repairs. Cleanliness is one thing that they should observe always. This is the reason why UHP water jetting or ultra high pressure water jetting exist. One way to clean the solid materials by applying high water pressure through UHP water jetting. The UHP water jetting or ultra high pressure water jetting uses only water, which is opposite to other cleaning techniques. Meaning, the entire process does not…
  • The Good reasons Why a Company Should Just Choose for the Best Digital Marketing Agency in Manchester

    boondocker
    24 Sep 2014 | 1:36 am
    You have to be aware that there’s a need for you to be fully equipped with the skills in operating your business. This is important since the effectiveness of marketing your own business depends on how you introduce your product and services to your target market (the people – the end user). If you feel worried about this because you believe you don’t have sufficient abilities and knowledge to get this completed, then worry no more since there are marketing companies in Manchester which can do the job for you on your advertising necessities. The only thing that you have to…
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
  • Everyone’s a critic

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:17 am
    Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different. The crowds were going to love the new … Continue reading →
  • Academic Dumas-ery

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    Kane X. Faucher’s latest novel is a brilliant adaptation the classic Alexander Dumas tale of revenge, The Count of Monte Cristo. I’ve always loved the original, and Faucher’s book is a wonderful satire that cleaves to the original plot so … Continue reading →
  • The Halloween Feast of Madness Bird

    Mark A. Rayner
    9 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Say what you will about Marge and Delia, but they served a mean turkey dinner. Sure they might have been witches. Sure, they tended to use a little too much salt when they were cooking. (Probably from all the dehydrated … Continue reading →
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • High-Test Case (Humor Column)

    madkane
    19 Oct 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Reading about this nutty guy who has sex with cars, reminded me that many years ago I wrote a news-related humor column about a fellow who wanted to marry his car. So I explored the deep recesses of my laptop, looking for a 1999 column that I wrote when I was a humor columnist for TheCarConnection. And voila! I dug it up, got rid of all the ancient WordPerfect coding, and am posting it here: A High-Test Case By Madeleine Begun Kane My husband Mark swears that he’s never proposed to an automobile. The same can’t be said for Buster Mitchell of Knoxville, Tennessee who, according to an AP…
  • Gored By Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

    madkane
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:59 pm
    It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.) How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.) I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s…
  • Limerick of the Week (185)

    madkane
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:54 pm
    It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to DAWN EPSTEIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A woman expected to fret When her husband brought home a Corvette, But she soon was elated; The car had inflated His under-extended pipette. Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.” The fisherman now will not fret. He’s in love with a…
  • What NOT To Do On “National Boss’s Day” (Limerick) (Oct 16)

    madkane
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:21 pm
    What NOT To Do On “National Boss’s Day” (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane On Boss’s Day don’t go adrift By spending big bucks on a gift, Cuz your boss guy or gal Will be bound to think, “Pal, If you needed a raise, you’d show thrift!” (You can find more of my employment humor here.)
  • Limerick Ode “National Grouch Day” (Oct. 15)

    madkane
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:42 am
    Limerick Ode To National Grouch Day By Madeleine Begun Kane Though I’m loath to complain or to bitch, When I hear about “Grouch Day,” I twitch. I think beating the drums For cantankerous bums Is absurd! This vile day we must ditch!
 
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for October 20, 2014

    19 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 19, 2014

    18 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 18, 2014

    17 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 17, 2014

    16 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 16, 2014

    15 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
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    CAP News

  • Aquaman Ousted From Justice League

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:42 am
    CASPIAN SEA (CAP) - In the wake of recent public criticism over his powers and allegations of superhero inadequacy, Aquaman's membership in the Justice League of America has been revoked. According to the JLA press release, the move is effective immediately. "Due to the lack of violent crime that actually takes place under the surface of the ocean, we felt it necessary at this time to release Aquaman of his duties," said JLA spokesman the Green Lantern during a press conference at the Hall of Justice. "Besides, he was really weighing us down," added Green Lantern. According to CAP News…
  • Senate Passes Bill Mandating Hand Washing

    17 Oct 2014 | 5:15 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - A new bill introduced in the Senate that requires Americans to wash their hands after using the bathroom or touching any surface that may contain germs has passed by a 78 to 22 margin and now heads to the House of Representatives where little resistance is expected. President Obama is reportedly already waiting at his desk to sign the bill into law. "Uhh, this legislation is our first step in the battle against an Ebola outbreak here in the United States," said Obama. "Between that, hand sanitizer, and coughing into the crook of our arms, we should be in pretty good shape…
  • Senate Passes Bill Mandating Hand Washing

    17 Oct 2014 | 3:38 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - A new bill introduced in the Senate that requires Americans to wash their hands after using the bathroom or touching any surface that may contain germs has passed by a 78 to 22 margin and now heads to the House of Representatives where little resistance is expected. President Obama is reportedly already waiting at his desk to sign the bill into law. "Uhh, this legislation is our first step in the battle against an Ebola outbreak here in the United States," said Obama. "Between that, hand sanitizer, and coughing into the crook of our arms, we should be in pretty good shape…
  • Lawsuits Put Damper On 'Thresh Your Own Grain'

    16 Oct 2014 | 3:01 am
    WAKEFIELD, N.H. (CAP) - Several lawsuits are threatening the popular "Thresh Your Own Grain" practice and other participatory activities at family farms, say local farmers. Allowing visitors to use high-powered industrial threshers to separate large amounts of grain from stalks and husks has been the latest attempt on the part of struggling family farms to stay solvent. It follows promotions allowing guests to pick their own fruits and vegetables, shear their own sheep and spread their own manure. "It's actually kind of amazing what affluent suburbanites will pay to do," said Tom Halverston…
  • Nation Fondly Recalls Simpler Swine Flu Days

    15 Oct 2014 | 4:15 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - A CAP News/Washington Post poll finds that a majority of Americans long for the days when all they had to worry about was swine flu. In fact, a full 97% said they did not realize how good they had it back when diseases were only named after animals. "Pigs, cows, birds - none of those scared me as much as a disease that looks like it's been spelled backwards," said 46-year-old Cliff Halverton of Barnstable, Mass. "Hell, I'd even take a rare October outbreak of EEE." Halverton is not alone, with many Americans agreeing�that the swine flu days were good days since nobody…
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    Jokes - jokes4all.net!

  • A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet ...

    20 Oct 2014 | 1:59 pm
    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?""What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as…
  • Why are men like popcorn?

    20 Oct 2014 | 11:59 am
    Why are men like popcorn?They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
  • After the doctor delivered Chuck Norris he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. ...

    20 Oct 2014 | 9:59 am
    After the doctor delivered Chuck Norris he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. While he realized that Chuck was already breathing he did it merely for posterity.The Japanese are the only other group of people who have made a worse mistake!
  • I want to suck you ... lick you ... wanna move my tongue all over you ... wanna ...

    20 Oct 2014 | 7:59 am
    I want to suck you ... lick you ... wanna move my tongue all over you ... wanna feel you in my mouth ... yep, that's how you ... eat an ice cream!
  • A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the ...

    20 Oct 2014 | 5:59 am
    A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks."I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister,…
 
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    Happy Meals & Happy Hour

  • Things I Need To Do Before I Die of Ebola

    HappyHourSue
    16 Oct 2014 | 8:33 am
    So Fox News' Shepard Smith went on a viral (ha) rant yesterday about how everybody should calm the fuck down already about Ebola.Even though I suspect Shepard is rocking guyliner (see Exhibit A)Exhibit A:I really, really, really wanna believe him due to my inherently panicky anxiety-ridden hypochondriac overly-prepared nature.(see Y2K)(see SARS)(see Bird Flu)(see Mad Cow Disease)In the event that we are, in fact, all doomed, here is my Ebola Bucket List. I'm guessing I have about 9 months to a year.EBOLA BUCKET LIST• Find out what a 3D printer does• Hire a professional dance group and…
  • Happy "Dress Like a Slut Day"

    HappyHourSue
    13 Oct 2013 | 11:40 am
    Oh joy.It's that time of year again...Cider! Pumpkins! Candy! Ho's!WELL.  Apparently toddling around on stripper heels as a "sexy" nurse/cop/referee/cheerleader/devil/angel/football player/firefighter/pirate has been DONE. 2003 called: It wants it's "sexy" back.Any slut-for-a-night knows you have to be original to stand out in a sea of bimbos. Think outside the box!   How about: Sexy Micky Mouse?Sexy Girl Scout? That's not inappropriate at all.Sexy Dinosaur!Sexy Pizza Slice!!Sexy Cheeseburger!Really the possibilities are endless.I am proposing the following ideas to some…
  • Kindles Are For Porn

    HappyHourSue
    18 Apr 2013 | 11:26 am
    Ladies! Let's talk smut.OK, so by now we've all read the entire Fifty Shades Trilogy , freaked out our husbands/significant others with our jump-started libidos, dropped out of Book Club, and are looking around for our next fix like "NOW what." (husbands/significant others: "Yeah! NOW what.")Fifty Shades is a gateway drug, my friends. There is a whole universe of competent-to-poorly written erotica out there, waiting to be consumed, like thousands of little dime bags, but with more ripped biceps and heavy breathing. However: Just as the alcoholic needs the paper bag, you can't…
  • Amazon So Doesn't Care About My Writer's Block

    HappyHourSue
    15 Nov 2011 | 7:30 pm
    Holy mother.I TOTALLY forgot my blog was available on Kindle and Amazon was CHARGING .99 cents for it.Apparently, they've been sending out apology emails to subscribers and offering them their money back. And booted me out of the Amazon Kindle family of offerings.Awkward.But guess what. I got a job. (!!!!!!!)  I know. I'm totally an executive right now. No, I'm not...but I wear heels and lipgloss and curse at people while I'm driving. So same thing.Here's what I've learned my first week:Things to Say When You're Getting Coffee to-go in the Morning at the Wawa:"Another day, another…
  • Harry Potter Recap. Sort Of.

    HappyHourSue
    17 Jul 2011 | 12:28 pm
    My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.The main thing you need to know is…
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • Return to sender

    Kerry
    11 Oct 2014 | 7:08 am
    Writes our submitter: “This note was left in the TEMPORARY mailbox that we put up to collect mail during a substantial construction phase at our house.” In order to appease the anonymous critic, she says, “I have since placed a large neon green bow around the offending structure,” and plans to continue. “I’m going for the ‘North Pole threw up here’ look,” she says. related: #mailboxproblems extra credit: uglymailbox.com: cool & crazy mailboxes 
  • Last time I checked, my mother didn’t work here

    Kerry
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:58 am
    “My husband and I eloped in Maui last week because we thought it’d be more fun that way,” says Sarah in Seattle.At least one of her husband’s coworkers — apparently — took this as a snub. (But, you know, in a “Hahahahaha, JUST KIDDING!” clenched-teeth sort of way.) related: Aaand…the honeymoon’s over.
  • They take their white carpet very seriously.

    Kerry
    29 Sep 2014 | 11:02 am
    Alice in Columbus, Ohio noticed this note taped to the door of a neighboring apartment. “I guess the tenants must have taken over a place that had formerly housed drug dealers and they were fed up with people coming by looking for drugs,” she says. “The note begins amiably enough — ‘Take shoes off at door’ — then takes quite a turn with its devastating conclusion. related: This not a brothel!
  • This used to be a pretty doormat.

    Kerry
    26 Sep 2014 | 8:01 am
    Out submitter in Chicago notes that, remarkably enough, within a day or so of this note being posted (or rather, secured with packing tape to the floor), the oh-so-pretty doormat magically reappeared! (I’d like to imagine that this was the stolen doormat in question.) related: Wrath mat extra credit: How to keep a doormat from being stolen [metafilter.com]
  • Don’t leave a kitchen sucker punch

    Kerry
    24 Sep 2014 | 8:43 pm
    Suzanne’s office in Chicago is filled with lots of so-called “creatives” — you know, the types who are too busy working on BIG IDEAS to deal with the banalities of, say, dirty dishes. Finally, someone decided it would take a real heavyweight to draw some attention to the problem. related: Right/wrong justified
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    BroBible

  • Watch A Bunch Of Dudes Try Pop Star Makeup For The First Time And Transform Into Really Ugly Chicks

    BroBible Viral
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:28 pm
    The tagline for this video on Youtube is “Watch men get beautified like a pop star,” which is amusing because each guy featured in this video gets significantly uglier after their makeover. Maybe the word “beautified” is being used ironically? Because all the dudes in this video are reminding me of Marlon and Shawn Wayans in White Chicks: I think it’s safe to say that if you saw any of these “girls” out at night that you’d avoid them like the plague.
  • Here Is Boston Bruins Goalie Tuuka Rask Playing A Phish Song

    Brandon Wenerd
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:16 pm
    YouTube I’m no Bruins fan, but anyone who knows me knows that all things related to Phish are pretty much my favorite thing in the world. All respect goes to Boston Bruins goalie Tuuka Rask, who took the stage in Buffalo the day after playing the Sabres to jam with local band The Mustn’ts at the bar Nietzsche’s. Tuuka Rask went all Jon Fishman while the band launched into a cover of “Back on the Train.” The combination of hockey and Phish is enough to melt a L.L. Bean Duck Boot-wearing Northeasterner’s face off. Who knew Rask had these kind of skills…
  • Google’s Response To Stephen Colbert Threatening To Sue Is GENIUS

    Douglas Charles
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Comedy Central Last week Stephen Colbert “lashed out” at Google for what he says was incorrectly listing his height as 5’10” instead of his claimed 5’11” and threatened to sue Google co-founder Larry Page, saying, “I demand a retraction, an investigation, an apology and a substantial cash settlement, or I will see your ass in court.” “I’m 5’11! When we’re in the steam room naked, no shoes, we’re looking at each other eye-to-eye. Seriously, 5’10″? Those are Matt Damon numbers. That’s down there in…
  • Notre Dame Fans: ‘WE BEAT FSU! WE BEAT FSU! WE BEAT FSU! WE BEA…. — Oh Wait’

    Brandon Wenerd
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:50 pm
    That’s basically what’s going on in this video, shot at B.D. Riley’s Irish Pub in Austin, Texas. Let’s just say it gets a little quiet when refs call it back…
  • Nina Agdal Doubles Up The Sexy With Hot New Bikini AND Lingerie Pics

    Douglas Charles
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:48 pm
    Nina Agdal in lingerie and bikinis for Beach Bunny and their sister brand LoveHaus is like Christmas coming in October. Yara Khmidan and Hailey Clauson may be the future of bikini and lingerie modeling for Beach Bunny Swimwear, but Nina Agdal is the current reigning queen. Photos: Beach Bunny Swimwear, LoveHaus
 
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    コミックインフィニティ

  • お坊さんとの恋愛

    master
    13 Oct 2014 | 10:05 pm
    初恋の人がいて、学生時代は気持ちを伝える事ができずに別れてしまい、しかも連絡先も交換せずじまいだったのでその後何をしているのかさえも行方知らず。そんな時、同窓会のお便りが届き、もしかしたら再会できるチャンスだと思って期待を胸にお化粧も洋服も髪型もバッチリ決めて会場へ早歩きで向かう。…
 
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • Group Prayer: The How to’s and The Houdinis

    Jon
    10 Oct 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is another great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) If you’re not already cringing, then you may be what some would call a “sneaky snake.” (words chosen purposefully) We’ve all been there. They’ve just finished up weekly home group, the end draws near, the night is almost over and that can only mean one thing: Time to pray. Out loud. Your leader peers around the circle, and everyone is already saying a small prayer, “Please God, don’t pick me.” One to play the Houdini card? Here are 5 subtle moves to…
  • You broke my burrito! and 2 other moments I stink at giving people grace.

    Jon
    30 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
      Sometimes I like to think I’m good at this grace thing. Mostly this happens after I have listened to the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United. Having been hit with the audio waves of that fantastic chorus 92 times, I take my headphones out and make some strong declarations. “This is it! I’m going to show other people grace! I am going to walk on water and be bold and brave and yay #TeamGrace!” I don’t pronounce the word “Hashtag” out loud because I’m not 13 but in that moment, I do get ready to live with so much grace. Until, I run into these three situations and…
  • Something no counselor tells you about marriage.

    Jon
    23 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    I wish you could take your honeymoon 10 years after you’ve been married instead of 10 minutes after you’ve been married. When you first get married you don’t know how to vacation together. You’re amateurs at this whole “doing life together” thing. On my honeymoon for instance, I decided to spend four hours winning a ping pong tournament. Why? Because I’m an idiot and didn’t know that one of Jenny’s love languages was “Spending quality time together.” I swore that her love language was “My husband winning a ping pong tournament at a Sandals resort.” The vacations we…
  • Bro-ears

    Jon
    19 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is a great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) I’ve spied shell necklaces under a collar. I’ve seen “Ice” swaying about one’s tank. I even once witnessed pants touching the ground, But there’s a new sheriff in town: In-ear monitors In-ear monitors (aka “ears”) are high-tech earphones typically molded to fit snug inside your ear. You know, something a musician uses while performing. I’m enjoying my job as a snobby barista, making lattes and denying room-for-cream, when suddenly a local worship…
  • When God goes full circle.

    Jon
    2 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    Six years ago, Jenny and I lived in Alpharetta, GA. We had a small house with green carpet and a purple bedroom that I called “Purple Rain.” The older woman before us who had owned it had what I believe interior designer’s call “Thomas Kinkade Palette.” We had young kids that were in that intense age where it’s impossible to leave the house, you destroy restaurants when you show up and you get roughly 92 minutes of uninterrupted sleep at night. In many ways we were in the survival years, but in others we were just starting to dream. Every few weeks, we would drive to a planned…
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    Out of the mouth of Dave

  • ISIS and Pornography

    David Crane
    13 Oct 2014 | 8:41 am
    Well I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone who follows the news that ISIS runs a pretty tight ship when it comes "morality". Roaming bands of "authorities" patrol the streets administering lashings and a good old fashioned tongue wagging when they see a female in the street who had the misfortune to expose her elbow.For more info on this go here: Woman in Syria With Undercover Camera Exposes Life Under ISIS in SyriaNow male jihadists have "needs" (nudge nudge wink wink) and for the lucky few jihadists who have liberated themselves a new wife those " needs" can be addressed. For the other men…
  • Cooking With ISIS

    David Crane
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:30 pm
    It seems there is more to ISIS then meets the eye.It's true they aspire to claim religious authority over all of the Muslim world.It's also true that they have established a caliphate or religious state.ISIS has been very effective at spreading their propaganda through social media via some ghastly decapitation videos.Maybe they will get some positive press with their take on the traditional Tomato and Cucumber Salad - MMM Refreshing......
  • How I feel after a Grande Espresso at Starbucks

    David Crane
    28 May 2014 | 3:29 pm
  • A hooker, A bag of chips and $5

    David Crane
    21 Sep 2013 | 5:02 pm
    I was sitting parked in my car in a seedier part of town, the sun was going down and societies undesirables were emerging from their crack dens to prowl the streets. Say what you like about society's undesirables but they certainly have an entrepreneurial streak.  Sitting in my car I was offered some crack,meth, molly and a "date" with a toothless lady (?) called Sharon.I politely declined any and all offers -"No thank you sir I will not partake of your fine crack cocaine ""Sorry Sharon I will respectfully decline your offer of a good time"When I had a moment I sent a text to my wife…
  • There's an Aryan in my kitchen.

    David Crane
    22 Jun 2013 | 2:36 pm
    Paula Deen and her latest admittance to using racial slurs has now  reached a higher level of intrigue.Paula Deen for those of you who are not aware, is not a platinum album selling rap artist. A career where the excessive use of the "N" word is necessary  to achieve any degree of success and street cred with your "homies". No Paula is in fact  an American cook, cooking show host, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality.Paula Deen if you haven't figured it out yet is also white.Racism has become an key part of her success in the kitchen. Our…
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Condolences: Beyonce’s Bangs

    PeaceBang
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:26 pm
    I see some bang extensions in Miss Bey’s immediate future. Ouch! Not good! Do not do this to yourselves, pigeons! Super blunt bangs are very hard to carry off in the first place, and you should only attempt them if the rest of your style can keep up, ’cause they are edgy, fabulous and demanding to maintain. Do not rock them without serious consideration and a great sense of image management or they will look silly and immature. That said, even blunt bangs should not be nearly as short as Beyonce’s are on the right. Unless you’re a monk wearing a tonsure ‘do,…
  • Unusual Color Combos

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:13 am
    While I was grabbing screenshots from an episode of “Where Are They Now?” I had to snatch these of Oprah, because she’s looking so fab in big blocks of vibrant colors you wouldn’t think to put together. Cherry red. Poppy orange stilettos. Purple pants. Pink lipstick, strong blush (you don’t wear colors that dramatic with no make-up or you’ll disappear), bold, geometric spectacles, gorgeous, healthy, curly hair. Click on the images to see them better. Share This Hide Sites
  • How To Do The Crazy Hair Color Thing

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I caught a clip of Raven-Symone on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” that made the rounds, and grabbed these screenshots so you could see how to WERQ the hair color trend that’s been getting more popular. THAT is how it’s done, pigeons. Sticking a few strips of vibrant color in the hair and then leaving it frizzy, damaged, unstyled and sitting on the top of your head to make some kind of statement about your creativity doesn’t make any kind of statement at all except, “I had an accident with the hair dye.” It looks immature, unflattering, and calls…
  • Agua Agua Agua

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 7:25 am
    Honey heads, Now that the heat is coming on, remember to drink more wa-wa, okay? It will help you not catch every cold that gets pressed into your hand during Sunday morning fellowship hour. It will help your “innards,” as my Dede (grandfather) used to say. It will make your skin look better. It will keep your voice from getting croaky and developing the dreaded vocal fry. It may prevent dizziness if you’re on medications that you’ve been taking with minimal water. Get up and drink a whole, big glass. Remember to hydrate throughout the day. Talking dehydrates you…
  • Bad Eulogies and Toasts: One Pastor’s Rant

    PeaceBang
    5 Oct 2014 | 7:12 pm
    Hallo, lovelies. This is for all of you as it is a rant submitted by M., who has a few things to get off her chest. I’ll let her do that, then I’ll respond, then you comment? Got that? Let’s go. Ok. Not sure quite how this fits in with other topics you cover here, but I have a bit of a rant concerning “etiquette” (for lack of a better word) in giving wedding toasts and eulogies. Maybe you have something to say about this? I’ve just come from a funeral where the first of four(!) eulogies was a fifteen minute autobiography of the speaker’s relationship…
 
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    Weird News FilesWeird News Files » | The Weirdest News Ever

  • Hatsune Miku has come to stay | Vocaloids

    Editor
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:21 pm
    Perfection doesn’t exist and Hatsune Miku either. But nevermind. Her success is real, and that’s what matters. She’s the most famous Japanese singer today and her J-pop music is in the highest ranks of popularity. She’s generated millions of dollars in income. 2.3 million people follow her on Facebook. Her image is ubiquitous throughout Japan, Lady Gaga wants her as her supporting artist and her massive concerts fill up enclosures from Singapore to Los Angeles. No matter that she’s just a hologram attached to an artificial voice program. Hatsune Miku’s…
  • Court Trial for Tommy the Chimpanzee’s “Legal Personhood”

    Author
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:49 pm
    A court in New York State is set to decide whether chimpanzees can also be considered “legal persons” in what experts claim to be the first case ever of its kind. This is on the behalf of a 26y/o chimpanzee named Tommy whose human owner has left it to live alone in a dark and dank shed somewhere in New York’s upstate. The case is represented by Lawyer Steven Wise who serves the animal rights group, Nonhuman Rights Project. They have been campaigning for several decades already to extend the protections that come with human rights to similarly intelligent animals. According…
  • Will. i. am introduces Puls to society | Smartwatches

    Editor
    17 Oct 2014 | 3:32 pm
    After all the noise generated by the wearable products, what was left to be seen? That every company or entrepreneur wants to make their own movement in this area, and that is the case of Will.i.am, singer in the Black Eyed Peas, who has just launched his own smartwatch called Puls. Will. i. am with his twin puls This device has a design that looks like “that” which many of us thought would be the Apple iWatch: it has a circular appearance and a curved screen, as well as a battery that is integrated around the product. It is also autonomous, which means there is no need for…
  • How consumers are being duped with these consumer tricks

    Editor
    17 Oct 2014 | 3:54 am
    With the Christmas season just around the corner, we’re all getting ready for a season of shopping and hard spending. If you find yourself unable to hit the shops without maxing out all your credit cards, you might find that it’s more than just a lack of self-control. Increased competition from the internet and general economic instability has caused manufacturers, retailers and service managers to have to employ newer and more cunning tactics to try to get you to spend your dollar. Next time you find yourself inexplicably parting with your money, make sure you haven’t been…
  • Getting Ready to Get Scary

    Author
    15 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    With Halloween just around the corner, people are already planning about what they’ll wear for the big celebration. Is it going to be something sexy, quirky or downright scary? Other people are more excited about carving pumpkins and decorating the house in a nightmare-inducing way. Well, a lot of people have already beaten you to doing these things. Meet the Pumpkinstein Grower Halloween won’t be complete without Jack-o’-Lantern. But carving a pumpkin is difficult and time-consuming, especially to someone who rarely makes it. Don’t worry; with the Pumpkinstein that you can just get…
 
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    Jake Iannarino

  • The Drama Continues… And It’s HILARIOUS!

    Jason Iannarino
    1 Oct 2014 | 11:23 am
    In our last episode I told you about some hate mail that I received while working on “The Flip Side.” The new television show that I am helping write/produce starring hilarious comedian Michael Loftus. If you have not seen it yet, check it out at www.theflipsideshow.com -I think you will enjoy it. Anyhoo, incase you forgot, this was what the email said: “I’m appalled to have learned that a politically conservative show like yours, would employ a contemptible employee, Jake Iannarino. He personally and frequently talks about smoking drugs on his twitter account. He even tweets…
  • FAN MAIL!

    Jason Iannarino
    8 Sep 2014 | 6:30 pm
    As you all may know, I am now a segment producer for a new show called “The Flip Side starring Michael Loftus.” Loftus is an INCREDIBLY talented comedian/actor and a writer for a little show you might have heard of called “Anger Management” starring some guy named Charlie Sheen. I think he has done a few  movies or something. I am having a blast with this show and the crew of writers producers and artists that are involved. It’s a great group of guys and the project is actually taking off! We recently got picked up by Time Warner, Dish Network, and A T and T…
  • Michael Loftus Scores AGAIN with “The Flip Side”

    Jason Iannarino
    27 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    You have probably seen Michael Loftus on TV’s “World’s Dumbest” but there is nothing dumb about him. Loftus is known throughout Hollywood as one of the funniest stand up comedians around and also a very respected and accomplished writer for such shows as “The Lopez Show” and Charlie Sheen‘s popular show on FX, “Anger Management.” Most recently Loftus starred in a comedy special on the History Channel called “American Wiseass.” (Did I mention I was a producer on that show. I carried the project. Ok I was a producer anyway.) You…
  • The NEW ME!

    Jason Iannarino
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    I’m back! Welcome to my new home on the web. I am going to be posting some content for you all, and you are going to love it. If you don’t, please feel free to f$ck yourself! Also,  follow me on Twitter and my new YouTube channel: I am a student of Relson Gracie Jiu Jitsu and I host a podcast called “The Jiu Jitsu Lifestyle Podcast” (Go subscribe on iTunes!) You never know where I’m going to be, or what I may be up to. I have had a life of adventures that include: Costarred in major motion pictures. Traveled the WORLD. Headlined comedy clubs all over the United…
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    Base Camp Legends

  • Mama bear and cubs encounter

    Sue Sorenson
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I hunted hard during my Spring Bear hunt and never saw hide nor hair of a single bear. I did see a lot of elk… so it is a given that during our elk hunts we see a lot of bear! Here is a little footage of the mother bear and her two yearling cubs that we encountered as we were hiking out from our elk hunt on September 13th. Sure is a thrill to be so close!   The post Mama bear and cubs encounter appeared first on Base Camp Legends.
  • Weeks Three and Four

    Sue Sorenson
    3 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    The third week of September we mixed things up a bit! Gary went hunting with our son Tom, who was here visiting from Nebraska… and I had “Grandma time” with the tribe! There’s nothing like the mind of three and five year olds!! It makes you really appreciate simple things in life when you look at it through the perspective of those little ones. Their favorite meal was “Smashed potatoes” with venison steaks and gravy!    Shooting at Papa’s 3-D Bear!             Picking Grandma’s apples        …
  • Week Two, September 13th

    Sue Sorenson
    23 Sep 2014 | 9:21 pm
    September always slips by too fast! Here we are in the fourth week and I don’t want it to end! After all the action in our last outing, we just couldn’t stay away from our favorite little canyon. So Saturday morning, September 13th we were at the trail head an hour before daylight. It might sound a little strange, but I’ve grown to love those early morning hikes, when the world is just beginning to stir to the dawning of another sunrise. You can feel, even before you hear, the awakening of life… the furtive, secretive sounds of creatures stirring in the brush, and…
  • Up Close!

    Sue Sorenson
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:53 am
    I posted the story of our hunt on September 6th… but here’s the video of my encounter with the bull that came within 16 yards of me! In the video you can see that I would have had an opportunity to shoot when the bull turned. I was thinking all the while he was facing me of this…but my indecision cost me the opportunity! Another lesson learned. You need to be confident and decisive in making judgments on what the bull is presenting you! What a awesome encounter and now of course I’m  helplessly addicted to elk hunting… especially hunting the rut! The post Up…
  • Opening Day

    Sue Sorenson
    16 Sep 2014 | 11:00 am
    August 29, 2014 found us hiking up the mountain to spend the night on a narrow hogback waiting for the dawning of the 2014 archery season. A dawn Gary came close to never seeing… It started with a very innocent looking shale slide. We have crossed many shale slides. This one really looked no different. We found ourselves committed with no turning back when things took a very nasty turn. I had gone on ahead, very consumed with trying to stay on the mountain, so I never noticed until I was across that Gary was not behind me. By this time I had gone around an outcrop of rock so Gary was…
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • Greece Is Indeed the Word

    18 Oct 2014 | 9:58 pm
    (Science marches on -- even when it's Secondhand SCIENCE. Stop over and learn all about gene drives. Or scarves. Or astronaut fashion. Or raining men. It gets a little weird. Check it out.) I'm a week into a two-week trip to Greece, about which I'm sure I'll have more to say later. For the moment, though, there are six thousand years' worth of ruins that aren't going to trudge through themselves, and a spanakopita calling to me from a taverna down the street. Of course, it's calling to me in Greek, which I don't understand, so maybe it's saying "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!". That would be…
  • Nobody Here But Us Vacationeers

    10 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
    (Which is the bestest quantum mechanical exclusion principle? That's right! The Pauli exclusion principle. Read all about it, and other scientifical oddities, over at Secondhand SCIENCE. It's a pip.) Working in a small company is kind of weird sometimes. I've always avoided big companies, because it seems too easy to get lost in the shuffle. If you've got nine thousand people doing the same thing, then I figure you either end up redundant or way, way specialized. Neither of those seem good. "I don't want to build some application fourteen other people already built, probably better. And…
  • Do No Farm

    4 Oct 2014 | 12:23 pm
    (Yo, science nerds! For this week's ridiculous sciencyness, head over to Secondhand Science to read all about convergent evolution. It's not just for cartoon squirrels and Mario and Luigi any more!) If there's a disadvantage to being a smartass -- and no one's saying there is; I'm just hypothesizing if -- it's that you can't really turn it off. Even when you're not being a smartass, you're being a smartass. Or people assume you're being a smartass, which has more or less the same effect. Namely, you get punished for being a smartass. And that hurts -- on those rare and unexpected occasions…
  • Literally, the Only Thing I'm Writing About Today

    27 Sep 2014 | 5:50 pm
    (The science buzz over at Secondhand SCIENCE this week is all about nucleation. If you like ice, champagne or beer -- that's separately, not all together at once, weirdo -- then nucleation should be on your radar. And maybe in your glass. Bottoms up, science-lover.) Being overly literal -- like, literally literal -- is annoying as hell. Certain figures of speech or inconsistent usages make your cerebellum twitch, like a lab monkey with a forebrain electrode. Or a lab monkey with mild OCD who takes things too literally. Probably that also works, if you're not into torturing primates for the…
  • Nine-and-a-Half Reasons I'm Not Invited to the Next Party

    20 Sep 2014 | 1:46 pm
    (Heyo! The science we "out droppin', son" this week over at Secondhand SCIENCE is all about those freaky critters who light themselves up like Christmas trees. Wanna know how the fireflies fire? Then check out the words about biolumenescence over there. Plus something new tomorrow. New and sciency -- that'd light anyone up! Have a gander.) People who don't know me well think I'm quiet. I don't say a lot in crowds or around people I don't know well -- and that's generally better for everyone involved, whether they know it or not. We'll get to that. People who know me a little better often tell…
 
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    YouTube: Comedy

  • Jimmy Fallon feat. will.i.am - Ew! (Official Music Video)

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    6 Oct 2014 | 8:46 pm
    Jimmy Fallon feat. will.i.am - Ew! (Official Music Video) Jimmy and will.i.am's teenage-girl alter-egos (Sara and mir.i.am) rap about things they think are "Ew!" Download "Ew!" on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/EW Listen on iHeartRadio: http://news.iheart.co... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 12525121 158807 ratings Time: 02:26 More in Comedy
  • Ellen Meets the ‘Apparently’ Kid, Part 1

    TheEllenShow
    11 Sep 2014 | 11:37 am
    Ellen Meets the ‘Apparently’ Kid, Part 1 Ellen met Noah Ritter after a video of him went viral. Nobody could have predicted what she was in for. Ellen Meets the 'Apparently' Kid, Part 2 https://www.... From: TheEllenShow Views: 7537570 49309 ratings Time: 04:02 More in Entertainment
  • Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    2 Sep 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Wheel of Musical Impressions with Adam Levine Jimmy challenges Adam to a friendly game of random musical impressions, like Michael Jackson singing the Sesame Street theme song. Subscribe NOW to The Tonig... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 14408744 81941 ratings Time: 05:02 More in Comedy
  • Jimmy Pays Tribute to Robin Williams

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    13 Aug 2014 | 2:00 am
    Jimmy Pays Tribute to Robin Williams Jimmy celebrates the life and comic genius of Robin Williams and shows archive footage of his first Tonight Show appearance with then-host Johnny Carson. Sub... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 11949495 67348 ratings Time: 03:04 More in Comedy
  • Morgan Freeman Chats with Jimmy While Sucking Helium

    The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
    24 Jul 2014 | 9:12 pm
    Morgan Freeman Chats with Jimmy While Sucking Helium Jimmy talks to Morgan about his Science show, Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, while they suck the helium out of balloons. Subscribe NOW to The Toni... From: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Views: 13273412 89850 ratings Time: 03:15 More in Comedy
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    English Russia

  • Place with Helmets: an Abandoned Military Complex Weaponry

    tim
    18 Oct 2014 | 8:01 pm
    Ok, hoping you all are having a good weekend, so now let’s see the abandoned artillery weaponry located pretty close to Moscow. This place is pretty much in good form. Alex, who visited this place, says its known as “army … Read more...
  • Kamaz Truck Reimagined as a Home

    tim
    17 Oct 2014 | 7:24 pm
    I bet you’ve seen houses on wheels before, nothing new here. However, this one is made by some Russian actor and is not something made in a factory but by himself. It has a living space for the actor and … Read more...
  • Soviet Far East on those Soviet Postcards

    tim
    17 Oct 2014 | 5:42 pm
    Basically, these are postcards of the Soviet far east, pretty much never seen online before and scanned by some enthusiast, from the “Golden Period” of the Soviet epoch – dated 1973-1976, you can probably feel the atmosphere over there at … Read more...
  • Russia as Seen by Foreigners in Early 19th Century

    tim
    17 Oct 2014 | 1:44 pm
    What I’ve read about this series of images is that a group of European tourists travelled to Russia in the early to mid 19th century, and to better memorize the things they saw, they decided to make these pictures. Inside … Read more...
  • Mountain Resort Built for Olympics near Sochi

    tim
    16 Oct 2014 | 4:01 pm
    Before the Sochi Olympics, this place appeared in the Sochi Mountains. Ilya, who went there and took the photos, calls it “100% child of Olympics” probably meaning that this was “ordered” to built so that guests of the Olympics had … Read more...
 
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    Strange Herring

  • A Strange Preview: The Overnighters

    Anthony Sacramone
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:47 am
    So you’ve all heard of this “oil rush” happening in North Dakota, right? If not, there’s this oil rush happening in North Dakota. People from every which place are flooding into the state to take advantage of the one million barrels a day of oil that are being produced—and the jobs that kind of production floats. Only the promise of quick riches is proving to be empty for many who have forsaken everything to head north. Documentarian Jesse Moss got wind of one community, Williston, affected by the influx of “immigrants” to the state in search of…
  • A Strange Review: Left Behind

    Anthony Sacramone
    6 Oct 2014 | 5:29 am
    On Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: So I’m watching Mars Needs Women on one of those goofily named cable channels in the upper four hundreds and a few minutes into this thing I realize the flaw in the premise. You’re all familiar with this film, correct? Seen it a thousand times no doubt. It begins banally enough: there’s a couple playing tennis, a couple out to dinner, then suddenly poof! people start disappearing. And not just any people: women people. What’s going on? Where did they go? Who is responsible? (It’s 1967, mind, so there’s a lot of…
  • “The Giver” and the Gift That Keeps on Taking

    Anthony Sacramone
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:38 am
    So I have a review over at the Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong. Every single time.” So says the Chief Elder, a firm believer in the Reformed doctrine of total depravity, apparently. In The Giver, the film adaptation of Lois Lowry’s 1993 award-winning, giga-billion-selling novel, we are introduced to a Community born out of the Ruins, the result of a cataclysm so devastating that remnant elites constructed an artificial environment in which there is no war, no suffering, no envy, no jealousy, no differences to fight…
  • Declare Social-Media Bankruptcy

    Anthony Sacramone
    23 Mar 2014 | 11:39 am
    Carrie Brownstein did. And all she lost was Fred Armisen. Filed under: Social Media Is Neither
  • The Rapper and the Nun

    Anthony Sacramone
    22 Mar 2014 | 4:06 pm
    So Sister Cristina Scuccia is a 25-year-old Sicilian nun who appeared on the Italian edition of The Voice. J-Ax, apparently, is a rapper of devilish reputation. When asked by the host what the Vatican thought about her appearing on The Voice, Sister Cristina replied, “Listen, I really don’t know. I am waiting for Pope Francesco to call me on the phone . . . He always says we should go out and evangelize, telling [people that] God doesn’t take anything away from us, but will give us more.” Enjoy. Filed under: "Entertainment", General Strangeness
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Go Team

    awkward
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:33 am
    You should hear their fight song. (submitted by Ryan) You should hear their fight song. (submitted by Ryan)
  • 40 Families Deep In Denim

    Charlie Mattingly
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:46 pm
  • Oh, Brother

    awkward
    17 Oct 2014 | 4:56 pm
    Empathy was not his thing. (submitted by Jack) Empathy was not his thing. (submitted by Jack)
  • Amateur

    awkward
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:02 pm
    He always was a Jack-of-all-trades. (submitted by Jennifer) He always was a Jack-of-all-trades. (submitted by Jennifer)
  • Last Looks 2

    awkward
    17 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    Don’t you forget about her. (submitted by Natalie) Don’t you forget about her. (submitted by Natalie)
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    Fair City News

  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
  • Royals Win; Hell Drops to 60 Degrees

    FairCityNews.com
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Royals fans celebrate with gear from ‘85 Springfield, MO – According to statisticians, the core temperature of hell has dropped significantly but not quite to freezing temperatures as the Kansas City Royals advance to the World Series, an event they haven’t participated in for over 29 years. “In honor of George Brett, I’m going to cover myself in pine tar and run screaming through the streets,” said Norie Greeger of Springfield. Fortunately, fans will be able to break out their clothing from 1985 as it has now come back into fashion. Since that time, CDs were first introduced to…
  • RAIN! Your Questions Answered by the Missouri DOT

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:13 am
    Rainy day driving conditions As fall comes to southwest Missouri, it brings with it a host of difficulties for drivers, chief among these is more frequent rain. We spoke with Gerald Nash of the Missouri Department of Transportation to get answers to some tough questions posed by Springfield area drivers. Q: When it’s raining, how much is the speed limit reduced? My sister thinks you should only drive half the speed limit, but I heard you should just stay at 25 miles per hour. (Zoe S – Springfield) A:  This is a common misconception in the Springfield area. The speed limit does…
  • Reynolds to Retire; Voice Tony the Tiger Cartoon Mascot

    FairCityNews.com
    9 Oct 2014 | 4:37 am
    Familiar local voice selected as finalist Springfield, MO – After driving into the KY3 parking lot in 1967, Ned Reynolds has held a position with the company for nearly 50 years, but times change and he has announced his retirement to accepted a position with the Kellogg’s Company to voice Tony the Tiger, the advertising cartoon mascot for Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes breakfast cereal. Talent scouts began contacting Reynolds after receiving favorable reviews of his catch phrases “get that off the screen” when one of the local sports favorites is being beaten and “bon jour and good…
  • #GrowMO Blimp Gets High Man, So High

    FairCityNews.com
    8 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    Stoners take their message to new heights Springfield, MO – Locals were treated to an aerial suggestion to grow mo’ weed yesterday as the #GrowMO blimp canvased the metro area of Springfield, Missouri. Most drivers were mesmerized by the flying dirigible and began following it in their vehicles to its landing spot at the downtown airport. “The traffic was crazy. A freakin’ blimp shows up and everyone is paying more attention to it than the road. Perfect. Might as well be driving high. Which I guess is the point of the stunt, to get us growing more cannabis in the ShowMe state,” said…
 
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    FMyLife

  • bstent says FML

    bstent
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:11 pm
    Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML
  • Chansus10 says FML

    Chansus10
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:03 am
    Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:59 am
    Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML
  • bye loser says FML

    bye loser
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:28 am
    Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
  • ColdStones says FML

    ColdStones
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:50 am
    Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Good Reason to Kill #17.1: Lost at Beer Pong

    Kevin
    20 Oct 2014 | 10:37 am
    Oh dear. This new example (thanks, Steve) is funnier than the original #17, mainly because nobody died. Had I foreseen that beer pong would be the cause of another potentially life-threatening dispute, I'd probably have waited, but such are the decisions that life presents. Let history judge. This one broke out in Texas (also funnier) although the shooters are said to be from the Cleveland area (funnier still). Exactly what they were doing at this house party—about a mile south of Ames, Texas, which is about two miles east of Liberty, which is east of Dayton, all of which is somewhere…
  • The 2014 Ig Nobel Prizes

    Kevin
    17 Oct 2014 | 3:47 pm
    As long as I'm on the topic of Nobel-Prize-Related Comedy With at Best a Tenuous Connection to Legal Humor (see "Did You Pack This Nobel Prize Yourself?" (Oct. 16)), I should mention this year's Ig Nobel Prize winners, which were announced not long ago. Here's the one with the least tenuous connection: ECONOMICS PRIZE [ITALY]: ISTAT — the Italian government's National Institute of Statistics, for proudly taking the lead in fulfilling the European Union mandate for each country to increase the official size of its national economy by including revenues from prostitution, illegal…
  • Did You Pack This Nobel Prize Yourself?

    Kevin
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:03 pm
    Brian Schmidt (along with two others) won the 2011 Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering that the expansion rate of the universe is accelerating, which implies the existence of a huge amount of "dark" energy and matter that we can't see but has the power to freak out scientists from billions of miles away for reasons that are still not clearly understood. This has something to do with it As Schmidt said in a recent speech, a different kind of "dark matter" bamboozled TSA agents when he traveled to Fargo a while back: One of the things you get when you win a Nobel Prize is, well, a Nobel…
  • Beer Verdict Reversed in Alcohol Case

    Kevin
    15 Oct 2014 | 2:10 pm
    The Journal Sentinel's headline for this one, "Judge Beer's verdict for underage drinker goes flat on appeal," is at least as good as mine and more descriptive. (Thanks, Scott.) Judge James Beer did indeed rule in favor of someone caught drinking underage, after that person pointed out that it is not a crime in Wisconsin for an underage person to drink if "accompanied" by a "parent, guardian[,] or spouse who has attained the legal drinking age." The case is amusing beyond the obvious headline possibilities because it involves the definition of "accompanied." It was undisputed that the…
  • The Defendant Seems to Have Left, Your Honor

    Kevin
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:30 pm
    Here's a criminal-defense strategy you might not have considered: just get up and walk out. They certainly won't be expecting that. And probably for that reason, it's worked at least three times. At least temporarily. The first example I know of was featured in one of my earliest posts here, which read in its entirety as follows: In Houston on Wednesday, a man who had just been found guilty of evading arrest got up and ran out of the courtroom. Police said they had no leads as to his location and had no further information at this time. Also one of my shortest posts. Amazingly,…
 
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    nonamedufus

  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    19 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
  • Supposed To Be Bad Luck - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    Albert was forgetful. While it didn't annoy Angus he nevertheless was always coming up with something to get Albert out of trouble.Like the time Albert forgot the map he was supposed to use as Angus's co-pilot on a cross-country car trip. Using a paper clip, toothpicks and a beany cap propeller, somehow Angus was able to construct a compass to guide them on their western journey and get them safely to the "other" coast.Then there was the time Angus was supposed to go grocery shopping with a list prepared by Albert. But Albert forgot to give the list to Angus. However, when Angus returned from…
  • Sunday Funnies/Happy Thanksgiving

    nonamedufus
    12 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Today we celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. That's right it's not at the same time as American Thanksgiving. We put some space between gobblers and Santa. And at this time of year we still get to play golf.
  • Here We Go Again - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    7 Oct 2014 | 7:41 am
    Before he heard the report he felt the change in air pressure as the bullet streaked past his cheek. As he quickly ducked down he thought to himself "I'm a lot luckier than Peterson who yesterday caught a sniper's bullet between the eyes".Lieutenant Brown turned to the men in his unit - the men left in his unit. Altogether five of them huddled behind the remaining wall in the rubble of what last week was a church. "Maybe that was it" thought Brown, "I either have a horse shoe up my ass or some higher being is looking over me."But Peterson and four others had not been so lucky and now Brown's…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    5 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
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    Christopher Gabriel

  • The CGP Receives 3rd Straight Best Radio Show Nomination

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    The Christopher Gabriel Program has aired on 970 WDAY and wday.com since June 8, 2009. The program has had a wealth of remarkable guests from the worlds of sports, entertainment, politics, science and more, coming from right here in Fargo to as far away as Australia, Israel and South Africa. Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winners, Oscar, Grammy, Tony and Emmy winners, professional and college coaches and athletes, New York Times best-selling authors, news bureau chiefs from the U.S. to Europe to Asia… the list goes on and on. Throw into the mix a group of incredibly talented contributors like…
  • POLITICO’s Philip Ewing on Iraq, Iran and Israel (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:54 pm
    Philip Ewing is the senior defense reporter for POLITICO. Previously he was their Pentagon correspondent and the managing editor for news at military.com. An expert on affairs in the Middle East, in particular Iraq and Afghanistan, he joined the program to discuss the escalating sectarian violence in Iraq, what card Iran might play, the effect on Israel and what might be the most prudent move the United States can make. photo credit: POLITICO
  • USA Today’s Christine Brennan on Redskins controversy (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:33 pm
    USA Today sportswriter Christine Brennan has been an outspoken critic against the NFL’s Washington franchise’s continuing use of the name “Redskins.” She is hardly alone as there are many who would like to see the name go away sooner than later. Similarly, there are seemingly just as many on the other side – including fans, players, team personnel and league officials – who have no problem with the name and believe this is all much ado about nothing. Christine joined me to share both her view and considerable perspective being that she’s been based in…
  • Kate Inglis on her new book, “Flight of the Griffons” (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    1 Jun 2014 | 7:43 pm
    Several years ago I became acquainted with a wonderful photographer from Halifax, Nova Scotia named Kate Inglis. Over time what I came to learn was as brilliant as her photography was, she was an even better writer. Her first book, “The Dread Crew: Pirates of the Backwoods,” was a rollicking romp for kids involving pirates… pirates who “sailed” on land. Her follow-up effort, “Flight of the Griffons,” is even more magical. What makes her work so unique is that ostensibly, it’s for kids. And yet adults will love it, too. She writes, she shoots…
  • Dr. Gordon Marino: Do What You Love… Or Maybe Not (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    28 May 2014 | 2:24 pm
    Dr. Gordon Marino is a professor of philosophy at St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN. He’s also authored many articles that have appeared in Atlantic Monthly, New York Times Magazine, Wall Street Journal, American Poetry Review and many other periodicals. Most recently Marino wrote A Life Beyond ‘Do What You Love’ for The New York Times. Considering the amount of play that phrase – that concept – now receives in our society, I wanted to have a chat with Dr. Marino to have him amplify on what he wrote. photo credit: St. Olaf College
 
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    Ann's Rants

  • Duck, Duck, Inflection-afflicted Goose

    Ann Imig
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:05 am
    “Hilarious. Kind. Mega-babe.” My classmate used none of these words to describe me. In graduate school, I took a class on therapy group dynamics. As part of the experiential curriculum, we formed our own groups. The instructor asked us to go around our circle, and use a sole descriptor for each group member. One of my peers looked straight in my eyes, and said without hesitation, about me,“Intense.” Her assessment took me so far aback, I disappeared into my neck, Beaker, style. Intense. Moi? photo   Meep meep? See, I had earned the reputation in my family as the easy going child.
  • Changing Seasons

    Ann Imig
    22 Sep 2014 | 8:45 am
    I love this change of seasons. By the time I’ve finally input my boys’ extra-curriculars into my iBrain, our Midwestern Indian summer cools down for crisp mornings. My kids settle in to their classrooms, the new routine becomes more familiar, and we can enjoy our walk to school among trees turning Technicolor. Though I adapt fairly well to changing schedules, and welcome the swap from sweaty maxi-dresses to cozy sweater coats, it’s the metaphorical changing of seasons with which I sometimes struggle. In fact, as my kids grow they seem to spin through the seasons of their lives far…
  • Kindergartners at the preschool reunion

    Ann Imig
    16 Sep 2014 | 10:35 am
    Recently my niece (who works as a nanny) made me aware that not only do some preschools hold graduation ceremonies, but some also hold reunions for their graduates. Imagine all the catching up among those 5-year-olds! Okay, I’ll imagine for you…   “OMG! You look exactly the same!!” “No, I look better. I wipe my own nose now!”   “Boy, please, those skinny jeans look AMAZE. What’s your secret?” “No diaper butt, no problem! [wink]“   “Wememboh when we wew babies and couldn’t say ouw lettoh ow?
  • Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s “Rare Bird” is an open palm of faith, fortitude, and hope

    Ann Imig
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:00 am
    Today Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s memoir Rare Bird appears  in bookstores everywhere. Three years ago yesterday, her son Jack went out to play in the rain and never came home.   I wrote, then: “One of ours has lost one of theirs. He was right here—just the other day—and now no more. Children die every day. We know this, and we keep walking our own paths, trying to keep sight of our own children and loved ones, busy with the foraging of our own day. Mothers, fathers, daughters and sons walk all around us, and every day people get separated from the pack—lost, perished. As…
  • Practice humor. Because crying and eating is funny.

    Ann Imig
    4 Sep 2014 | 7:14 pm
    Have you ever tried to cry and eat at the same time? It’s difficult, but possible. Recently I watched a sad internet video, and I cried, while continuing to eat my delicious Oats N’ More directly from the box. Soon I was crying, eating, and also laughing — all while trying to not to choke on my No Brand Oat Bunches. Who stops eating to cry? By chomping away you tell that sadness Okay sadness, you have the exact quotient of sad to give me tears and a lump in my throat, but not enough sad to merit interruption of semi-delectable oat clusters passing through my esophagus. Which…
 
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    Unique Scoop

  • Getting ready for my buddy's wedding (21 Pics)

    Scoop
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:04 am
    The finished productThe materials I used. 2, 1.75 liters of Svedka brand vodka. Some might call it a gallon.5 empty 750ml bottles.6 empty flasks, to fill for the actual wedding.3 lb bag of Jolly Ranchers. Way more than I needed for the most part, but I only ended up with a handful of apple jolly ranchers Lets get started.
  • Giant Vending Machine From 1948 (10 pics)

    Scoop
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:51 am
    At one point Kedoozle was supposed to be the grocery store of the future. As you can see customers could select what they wanted through a series of windows and the items would then be dispensed to them via a vending machine. Pretty far our stuff and we're glad it didn't catch on.
  • Photographer Recreates Famous Portraits With John Malkovich

    Scoop
    19 Oct 2014 | 6:45 am
    Renowned photographer Sandro Miller has worked together with legendary Hollywood A-Lister John Malkovich many times, but when Miller wanted to celebrate the photography greats that had inspired and guided him, he had to do something special. So he, with Malkovich as his dashing unisex model, recreated some of those influential photographers’ most important portraits in a photo series called “Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich: Homage to photographic masters.”The series puts both Miller’s exceptional photography and Malkovich’s masterful acting talents front and center. Miller gets each…
  • I Love Everything About What These 20 Companies Did, Even If It Is A Little Weird

    Scoop
    19 Oct 2014 | 6:44 am
  • 23 Of The Dumbest Tweets Ever Tweeted

    Scoop
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:06 am
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    The Good, Clean Funnies List

  • Funeral

    info@gcfl.net
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan and open the casket to find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the wall!" Received from Daily Groaner.
  • Paint Store

    info@gcfl.net
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint- store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on. "Now what do I do if I need more paint?" I asked. "Don't come back here," he begged. Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
  • Four Little Words

    info@gcfl.net
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in a while, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!" "He said, 'Will you marry me'?" Marcy asked. Heather replied, "No, he said, 'Put your money away.'" Received from Steve Sanderson.
  • Groaner: Hurting Arm

    info@gcfl.net
    15 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts bad. Could you check it out please?" the man pleaded. The doctor rolled up the man's sleeve and suddenly heard the arm talk. "Hello, doctor. Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!" the arm said. The doctor said, "Aha! I see the problem. Your arm is broke!" Received from Stan Kegel.
  • Mom's Clarinet

    info@gcfl.net
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    My dad bought my mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said my dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" I asked. "Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing." Received from Crosswalk.com.
 
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    DOG AND PONY SHOW

  • lhpyne: My “Night Burgers” design is up for sale on...

    chrisdaps
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:40 pm
    lhpyne: My “Night Burgers” design is up for sale on TeePublic! https://www.teepublic.com/show/40791-night-burgers And now on Society 6
  • Teachers from Staten Island’s New Dorp high school do...

    chrisdaps
    17 Oct 2014 | 6:45 am
    Teachers from Staten Island’s New Dorp high school do their best Taylor Swift in this “Shake it off” parody.
  • Since his 2001 inclusion on the Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back...

    chrisdaps
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:35 am
    Since his 2001 inclusion on the Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack, Afroman has learned how to make ‘getting high’ work for him. 
  • POZ Showcase: Everything Ever

    chrisdaps
    11 Oct 2014 | 1:59 pm
    propertyofzack: Everything Ever is really all you could want from an up & coming pop-punk band: raw energy, a progressive sound, and the “wow, I really want to have a beer or two or five with these guys” type vibe. This trio is making moves, including a brand new signing with Secret Audio Club, being featured in Paper + Plastick’s digital download subscription service, and opening up for The Moms on their first full US tour. The song streaming below might be titled “Doing Nothing,” but Everything Ever is doing…well, everything. Be sure to catch them on the road later this…
  • chrisdaps: Ballin’ Oates: Hall and Oates vs. Wu Tang...

    chrisdaps
    11 Oct 2014 | 9:39 am
    chrisdaps: Ballin’ Oates: Hall and Oates vs. Wu Tang Clan.  Free to download? Yes please.
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    The Velvet Blog

  • This blog post does not exist

    5 Oct 2014 | 1:24 pm
    So, those two pieces I wrote for issues 17 and 18 of the Cashiers du Cinemart zine have been posted online. My piece on the terrible movie After Last Season is here, and my article on how Michael Powell adapted the novel They're a Weird Mob is here. And you imagined this blog post. Spooky, huh?
  • Or, "cream plectrums" could be an unfortunate medical condition

    14 May 2014 | 3:35 pm
    Some random person followed me on Twitter this afternoon. She has 12,000 followers, but when you look at their names, you can tell they're mostly bots, with names formed in a game of Twitter Mad Libs. But, oddly, most sound like they could be band names for specific niches. Below, a partial list, followed by suggested genre: criticize_lymph: Shoegaze.vacuum_afterglo: New age.ideal_corpuscl: Heavy metal cover band from Eastern Europe.Indian_bamboozl: Fake world music.liver_looter: Bar band.reject_blouse: Riot grrrrl.conclusion_clam: High school garage band.breath_garbolog: EDM.baby_coincident:…
  • Close the door lightly when you go

    3 Apr 2014 | 2:16 pm
    I hereby propose a moratorium on use of "slams" in headlines. Also, synonyms for "slams." But, really, mostly "slams." All of these headlines were posted to Google News within a time frame of a few hours (I swear): Jennette McCurdy slams Nickelodeon, but network says 'Sam & Cat' Season 2 is a goAnthony Bourdain slams Nigella Lawson's U.S. travel banCris Carter slams Eagles with hypocritical tweet in support of DeSean JacksonEx-auditor-general Fraser slams elections bill as attack on democracyFranken slams Supreme Court decision on campaign contribution Nancy Pelosi Slams Supreme Court's…
  • Hello? Is this thing on?

    25 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead. You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook. But now that I have your attention: I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here). Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter…
  • Edna and Elbert

    12 Nov 2013 | 7:33 pm
    3-16-16 We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, Grace [unreadable]
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    Joe Donatelli

  • Book Review: ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko

    Joe Donatelli
    28 Sep 2014 | 7:57 pm
    A review of ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko, an important book about criminal justice and policing in a free society.
  • Playboy Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    6 Sep 2014 | 4:33 pm
    The 7 Reasons Why You Are Wrong Best Hot Sauces: Ranked Three-Breasted Woman: The Official Timeline LeBron and Balding Denial Here are Those Celeb Nudes You’re Looking for The 15 Worst Fjords in the World
  • Reason Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Jul 2014 | 11:00 am
    Obamacare Apologies to the Whole Foods Crowd
  • Buzzsumo on What Goes Viral

    Joe Donatelli
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:28 am
    Buzzsumo's list of 10 factors that can help a piece of content go viral. Good stuff for all us bloggers to remember.
  • The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray

    Joe Donatelli
    31 May 2014 | 9:43 am
    I highly recommend The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray.
 
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    Futility Closet

  • Podcast Episode 30: The Oak Island Money Pit

    Greg Ross
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:25 am
    Nova Scotia’s Oak Island hides a famously booby-trapped treasure cache — or so goes the legend. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast, we review the many attempts to recover the treasure and wonder who could have engineered such a site, what might be hidden there — and whether, indeed, it contains anything at all. We also puzzle over what a woman’s errands can tell us about how her husband died. Sources for our segment on Oak Island: “The Secrets of Oak Island”, Joe Nickell, Skeptical Inquirer, March/April 2000. Richard Joltes, “History,…
  • In a Word

    Greg Ross
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:03 pm
    vitilitigate v. to be particularly quarrelsome rixation n. a quarrel or argument cavillation n. the raising of quibbles snoutband n. one who constantly contradicts his companions
  • The Modern Prometheus

    Greg Ross
    18 Oct 2014 | 11:34 pm
    By 1958 many of the attributes of living things could be found in our technology: locomotion (cars), metabolism (steam engines), energy storage (batteries), perception of stimuli (iconoscopes), and nervous or cerebral activity (computers). The missing element was reproduction: We hadn’t yet created a nonliving artifact that could make copies of itself. So Brooklyn College chemistry professor Homer Jacobson built one. Using an HO gauge model railroad, he designed an “organism” made of boxcars that could use sensors to select other cars on the track and assemble them on a…
  • Black and White

    Greg Ross
    17 Oct 2014 | 11:44 pm
    By Theodore Adrien Louis Herlin. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution …
  • An Unexpected Departure

    Greg Ross
    17 Oct 2014 | 3:35 pm
    T.H. White, author of The Once and Future King, shared his lonely life with a beloved Irish setter, Brownie, whom he called his child, wife, and mother, “myself with melting eye.” “It is a queer difference between this kind of thing and getting married,” he wrote, “that married people love each other at first (I understand) and it fades by use and custom, but with dogs you love them most at last.” In late November 1944 his friend David A. Garnett received this letter: Dearest Bunny, Brownie died today. In all her 14 years of life I have only been away from…
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    Fib News - Various business entities for your business

  • How to Prepare Your Sprinkler System for the Winter

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:25 am
    Winter is coming once more. This is the season when sprinkler systems get broken and brittle. But these problems can be avoided. You just need to do some precautions in order to avoid damage to your sprinkler system. This article will give some tips on how to winterize your sprinkler system. Winterizing means you need to prepare your sprinkler system for the cold weather. You need to do some precautionary measures if you want your system lasts longer. One of the things that you should do is to heat your sprinkler system. You need to wrap it with insulating materials to protect it from snow.
  • Guidelines in Buying Instagram Likes

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:22 am
    There is a lot of people who buy instagram likes for the photos and short video clips that they are posting in the mobile application. Probably, you are wondering on why they are buying Instagram likes and would also want to consider it for your account. Due to that, it is important for you to follow a certain guideline that you can make use to be successful in getting the Instagram likes that you need. The first thing that you have to do is to find the right source for the likes that you want. There are so many websites in the internet that offers both Instagram likes followers and it is not…
  • How Instagram Aids Small to Medium Business Enterprises

    rock
    18 Oct 2014 | 6:39 am
    Instagram has been considered to be one of the most crazed social networking sites which use the feature of photo sharing application. For the many business establishments particularly those small to medium business enterprises that are keen into cost cutting measures, instagram likes is their key to enable their business to flourish further. Contrary to popular belief, Instagram is not only used for individuals who are into selfie pictures. In fact, most small business enterprises use the features of Instagram in order to market their products and services in its most unique and creative way…
  • The Bailing Out Process in Jail – How it is Done

    rock
    17 Oct 2014 | 5:32 am
    It is a very frightening experience indeed to be jailed and get into a prison. Because of the traumatizing experience it gives a person, it is better to know ways on how to get out of trouble and be back to the normal experiences one has. To do this, one can either bail out of prison or wait till the sentence is served and done. The latter seems to be time consuming and may even result to a person not being able to work due to imprisonment or the person losing its capacity to work for money to pay the bill. The option to bail seems to be a much more practical option and here is how it is…
  • Why Obtain the Real PSN Code Generator

    rock
    16 Oct 2014 | 6:36 am
    Playing online games can be so addictive if you will experience hard core games. You will definitely feel the adrenaline rush while doing everything for you to finish the game. So if you are one of those gamers who just can’t stand up for a moment to eat your snack because you don’t want to stop the game for a while then a PSN generator is something for you to have. PSN generator allows you to acquire the game you want to play without spending money. You will only have to use the codes in order to access the game. If you are fond of playing playstation games, then you will definitely get…
 
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • How old was that used car?

    traymond
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    How old was that used car that you bought? How old? Why, it’s so old that it doesn’t have dents, it has wrinkles! It’s so old that I had to remove the license plates to get it to go over 10 miles per hour—it couldn’t handle the load! If that car had been a few years older, Moses could have driven it over the Red Sea!
  • What is Murphy’s Law?

    traymond
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:23 am
    Clown 1: What is Murphy’s Law? Clown 2: “Anything that can go wrong, will.” Clown 1: Good. And what is Segal’s law? Clown 2: “A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.” Clown 1: Excellent: And what is Cole’s Law? Clown 2: Thinly sliced cabbage, with mayonnaise and carrots.
  • What do you call cold tea?

    traymond
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:24 am
    Clown 1: “What do you call cold tea?” Clown 2: “Iced tea.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold coffee?” Clown 2: “Iced coffee.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold ink?” Clown 2: “Iced ink?” Clown 1: “Then go have a shower.”
  • What’s a matta with you?

    traymond
    29 Sep 2014 | 8:13 am
    Louie: What’s this? Latka: It’s a kebble. Louie: What’s a kebble? Latka: 110 kebble make a lithnitch. Louie: What’s a lithnich? Latka: 270 lithnich make a matta. Louie: What’s a matta? Latka: I don’t know, what’s a matta with you?
  • M*A*S*H - doing inventory

    traymond
    28 Sep 2014 | 3:02 am
    Hawkeye: Sulfa...where’s the sulfa? Margaret: The sulfa’s in the living room. Hawkeye: What? Margaret: The sulfa’s in the living room. Between the end tables. Hawkeye: (astonished) Margaret, you told a joke! Margaret: I’m tired. Hawkeye: “The sulfa’s in the living room.” (starts laughing) I can’t believe you said that! Margaret: (laughing now, too) I told you I was tired! Hawkeye: No, I love it! Somebody’s finally been messing with your funny bone! Okay, sulfa...we got plenty. Margaret: Sulfa so good. (starts laughing again) Morphine.
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    Renée Finberg ' TELLS ALL ' in her blog of her Adventures in Design

  • It's Time To Get Married

    25 Sep 2014 | 5:56 am
    And pick up my daughter (Andi) & her sweetheart (Antoine)in Portland Maine and drive them back to Rockland Maine.I haven't seen her in 2 years.We were never apart more than 2 months until my move to Maine.My dear, dear and beautiful Mom!Has been the most loving and supportive....I don't know what I would have ever done without her.The older I get, the smarter she gets!!This is the church we will Marry in -St. John Baptist Episcopal Church.Father Peter Jenks will marry us. He has been great support and encouragement to me since I arrived on the scene.I consider him my friend…
  • Window Boxes & Faux Balconies

    11 Aug 2014 | 3:04 am
    window boxes, faux balconiesI adore window boxes and false balconies!!!Adding window boxes filled with flowers can radically change the facade of a building.Beacon Hill in Bostonwindow boxes, faux balconiesI think the window boxes mounted on the second story adds charm to this already pretty home.There is no limit to what you can use.Just fill with flowering plants and mount to a wall, door , or a window.window boxes, faux balconiesThis really says "NYC SPRING"window boxes, faux balconiesFaux BalconyWhat could do more for a structure than a faux balcony? Faux BalconyI have found a…
  • I Need A Rock

    11 Jun 2014 | 3:55 am
    It is finally beginning to warm up...there are signs of life ....the trees are sprouting tiny chartreuse leaves.The forsythia are just now starting to bloom.The tulips are beyond confusedAnd so am I. Last Thursday I went sailing with a friend and it was beyond divine.Not a cloud in the sky.Sun.Warmth.I really thought that I had died and gone to heaven.my girl JOEYYes.It was a good day.One of the best that I have had since my move here. The next day I worked in the yard with my motherand it was a typically dismal and chilly.We mulched, raked leaves and planted.The very next day was…
  • Barn Doors & Barn Door Hardware

    27 Apr 2014 | 4:16 am
    Barn Doors & Barn Door HardwareI have a long time love affair going on....with barn doors.When I used this concept in a job 10 years ago,it was hell to find the hardware.At the bottom of this post you will find the source for thesebarn doors & the hardware.It is a great site.There is a great selections of barn doorson this site.Use your imagination.....where would you use a BARN DOOR?Do you like barn doors ?And if you do....Where would you used a barn door?Have a great week.Rustica Hardware...WOW. What a source!!!http://rusticahardware.com/ Renee Finberg 'TELLS ALL' in her Blog of her…
  • An Artists Retreat In Bolinas California

    22 Apr 2014 | 3:54 am
    I was watching a expose on a community in California called Bolinas.When I googled images for Bolinas California up popped this artists retreat.I was wow'd out by the interiors so I have posted the home in Bolinas.I found out who the designer was and it was a mother daughter team from Truckee Nevada.Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?I have. My Dad had 2 restaurants on the Lake.It is amazing there....the area truly is kissed by G-d.Well, Truckee Nevada is right outside of Tahoe....on the way to Reno.Truckee is the town where this mother daughter team have their design…
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • A Halfords Bicycle Nightmare

    James McDuff
    18 Oct 2014 | 5:25 am
    Article by James McDuff In England we have a cycling and auto parts store called Halfords. It's kind of like a downsized Walmart meets a downsized Home Depot and combines their most useful products, but only gets the latter's customers. There are no Mexicans or blacks in Halfords, so it's an ideal place to drink your coffee if you're a racist.About a year ago they were running a 50% off discount, and seeing as I'd bought a bike worth 120 pounds that lasted me 5-7 years, my logic was that a brand new one valued at 200 pounds purchased at half that was a bargain. Sadly, Halfords doesn't tell…
  • My Introduction to YMCA Summer Camp and Adult Penises

    Edward F. Kennedy
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:19 pm
    Article by Edward F. Kennedy The old man's penis looked like Santa Claus' nose poking through a grayish, bushy beard. All the old men's penises looked like that. These were the first adult penises I had ever seen, and as an 8-year-old, it scared me enough to make me feel uncomfortable changing in locker rooms for the rest of my life.This was the mid-80's, and while it doesn't seem that far away, the rules and regulations at the YMCA have probably come a long way since then. I can't imagine these things happening today, but I'm too frightened to check out the YMCA locker rooms to find out.My…
  • An Ode to Being Fat

    William Franklin
    16 Oct 2014 | 4:59 pm
    Article by William Franklin Everyone has their preferred charity or cause they like to support, and mine is being 33.3% beer and batter by volume. Since eating and drinking are subjects very close to my cholesterol-choked heart, when I'm not busy planning a suicide Jackie Chan would be proud of, neglecting my family and friends, and being generally awful, I like to meet my weekly exercise quota by waving goodbye to the Domino's delivery guy. As someone fat enough it would take even 19th century sailors a few years at sea to be tricked into fucking, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on the…
  • How to Write a Comedy Article on the Internet

    Isaiah Churchwater
    15 Oct 2014 | 2:43 pm
    Article by Isaiah Churchwater There is an easy way to write comedy on the internet. Most of it involves putting witty captions on random pictures that have little to do with what you're actually writing about. And everyone loves a good list. I can title my article "The Top 5 Ways to Get a Blumpkin" and if somebody links to it, then hundreds of billions of people will read it because they actually want to know how to get a blumpkin.An awesome name on a YouTube video is how trillions of people got Rickrolled. The actual article is less complicated. Sometimes the title of the article…
  • Post-Game Press Conference for Game 1 of the Offensive Team Name Basketball Association Championship

    Dominic Coats
    14 Oct 2014 | 7:29 pm
    Article by Dominic Coats The Cleveland Noble Savages have just defeated the Jackson City Quadroons 116-110 in Game 1 of the Offensive Team Name Basketball Association (OTNBA) Championship Series. "No Shoes" Jackson, DeQwondarius the Magnificent, and Coach McCoacherson have taken their respective seats for questions. The following is the transcript from the Quadroons' post-game press conference.No Shoes Jackson: Before we start this press conference I'd like to thank God for giving us the strength to go out and compete today. When I first prayed to Him I believe He told me He was on…
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • No signs of improvement

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Jim Weber, the conductor was furious with Hank, the drummer, who constantly seemed to be out of beat. Having supervised him for long hours, Jim felt frustrated as Hank did not show any signs of improvement. Frustrated, Jim Weber reprimanded Hank, "When a performer can't perform anymore and is too stubborn to pick up, they give him 2 sticks, and make him a drummer."A violinist whispered, "And if he doesn't even manage that, they snatch one of his sticks and make him a conductor!"
  • Lost business

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Betty-Boo, the chubby blonde, was talking to her old friend Lisa Ray.She complained, "You know I am on the road a lot. My business depends on fabric samples that my customers courier to me, based on which I proceed with outsourcing of finished garments. But because of my travel, the couriers don't reach me."Lisa Ray asked her, "So did you try to do something about it?""Yes" replied Betty-Boo. "I put a box in my car.""A box??? How does it help?"Betty-Boo said, "I don't know as yet. I haven't received any couriers so far."Lisa Ray asked, "And what is the reason for it?"Betty Boo answered,…
  • My business

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Terry, ever so drunk, goes up to a cute blonde in the pub and says to her, "Do you mind me asking you a personal question?"The blonde shrugs and said, "I have an idea where this conversation will finally lead to, so go ahead, ask your question."Terry said, "All right, how many guys have you slept with?"The blonde retorted, "None of your business. That's my business."Terry said, "Cool! So what do you charge for a night?"
  • Vengeance

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Boka says to his friend Khoka, "How do you compare Vengeance to Sweet vengeance?"Khoka says, "You only tell the answer."Boka says, "Vengeance is gunning for your enemy's wife, and sweet revenge is discovering she is lousy in bed!"
  • Letter from Suzie

    Mitesh Asher
    15 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Rob worked at the local post office, and one day he day he found a letter which was addressed to God. Intrigued, he decided to open it. It read:Dear AllmightyI am a 79 year old widow surviving on pension. Last evening, I got mugged on the streets, and was robbed of the $500 that I had to last me for the rest was of the month. It is my granddaughter's birthday next week and I had planned on buying a nice present for her. Now, I have no money even to buy food. I am depending on you for help.In needSuzie.Rob was moved by the letter and showed it to all his colleagues. Immediately, everyone…
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Arithmetic assignment

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Mrs. Griffith, the Maths teacher discovered that little Harry had not done his homework. She scolded him, "Where is your Arithmetic assignment?"Little Harry replied, "Miss it had too many problems, so it took its own life!"
  • Cause for concern

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Bobby goes to see his psychiatrist Dr. Smith and says to him, "Doc, I am getting a terrible dream time and again."Dr. Smith asks him, "What do you see in your dream?"Booby replies, "I see myself as a sadist, necrophilic and beastialist. Is it cause for concern or am I beating a dead horse?"
  • Molestation charges

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Danny asked his lawyer friend, "How did that old tycoon get acquitted of molestation charges?"The lawyer friend replied, "Huh, the evidence refused to stand up in court!"
  • Desirable change

    Mitesh Asher
    15 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    When Tommy Lee decided to go into the confessional box after keeping away from religion for a very long time, he was surprised to see how things had changed.He sat down on a chair and looked around. He saw a bar with the best wine, expensive cigarettes, and posters of semi clad women. Just then Priest Richard walked in. Tommy Lee said to Priest Richard, "Father, I haven't been around for a long time, but I must say that the confessional box is a much more desirable place compared to what it used to be"Priest Richard  growled, "Get out of here. It's my side."
  • Project work

    Mitesh Asher
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Looking at my son Neel's project work, his teacher Mrs. Singh commented, "Tell me, did your mother help you with the project work?"Neel replied innocently, "No, she did not help me. She did it all by herself."
 
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • FFF Episode #5 (Web Comic): The Freaky Freaky Fight Scene

    Daniel Newton
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:21 pm
    Click here for the Previous Episode ... Hello Freaky Freaky Friday'er!  Back for another adventure?  Great!  Because this is my favourite episode so far. Enjoy! :-) P.S. If you haven't joined the Freaky Freaky Friday family yet, then it is not too late.  Just go to dgnproduction.com and let me know where to send you each episode ... and as an added bonus, I'll buy you a copy of my new digital
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #4 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 2

    Daniel Newton
    9 Oct 2014 | 6:17 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: IntroductionEpisode 1Episode 2 Episode 3 Or click here to read the next episode... Below is episode #4 of Freaky Freaky Friday to lighten up your Friday.   Click here to read the next episode... Or if you'd like to revisit a past episode, click one of the episodes below:
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #3 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 1

    Daniel Newton
    2 Oct 2014 | 4:32 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: Introduction Episode 1 Episode 2 Or if you'd like to go to the next episode, click here. Hello and happy Friday!   I hope you enjoy this week's episode of Freaky Freaky Friday, the comic that does absolutely everything you're not suppose to do in a comic, and breaks all the stupid rules... and then laughs about it like a madman greeting the moon.
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #2 (Web Comic): The Chalice of Condroodoo

    Daniel Newton
    25 Sep 2014 | 2:50 pm
    Click here for Episode 1... Click here for the Next Episode (Episode 3)... Good morning! Hope your week has been flying high and you are ready for another 'Freaky Freaky Fridays' adventure! If you are, sit down with a tea or a coffee, or a water, or an imaginary drink, and enjoy... (Just make sure you are not drinking from a cursed mug.) Daniel :-) P.S. Don't miss an episode and subscribe
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #1 (Web Comic): Xiao Xiao, the Imaginary Panda

    Daniel Newton
    18 Sep 2014 | 5:32 pm
    Click here for Episode 2... Good morning and welcome to the very first episode of Freaky Freaky Fridays! The web comic so freaky you have to say it twice. If you'd like to read the characters introducing themselves, click here. If not, scroll down and enjoy the adventure! Daniel :-) Click here for Episode 2... If you'd like to see what happens next, make
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    Fair City News

  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
  • Royals Win; Hell Drops to 60 Degrees

    FairCityNews.com
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Royals fans celebrate with gear from ‘85 Springfield, MO – According to statisticians, the core temperature of hell has dropped significantly but not quite to freezing temperatures as the Kansas City Royals advance to the World Series, an event they haven’t participated in for over 29 years. “In honor of George Brett, I’m going to cover myself in pine tar and run screaming through the streets,” said Norie Greeger of Springfield. Fortunately, fans will be able to break out their clothing from 1985 as it has now come back into fashion. Since that time, CDs were first introduced to…
  • RAIN! Your Questions Answered by the Missouri DOT

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:13 am
    Rainy day driving conditions As fall comes to southwest Missouri, it brings with it a host of difficulties for drivers, chief among these is more frequent rain. We spoke with Gerald Nash of the Missouri Department of Transportation to get answers to some tough questions posed by Springfield area drivers. Q: When it’s raining, how much is the speed limit reduced? My sister thinks you should only drive half the speed limit, but I heard you should just stay at 25 miles per hour. (Zoe S – Springfield) A:  This is a common misconception in the Springfield area. The speed limit does…
  • Reynolds to Retire; Voice Tony the Tiger Cartoon Mascot

    FairCityNews.com
    9 Oct 2014 | 4:37 am
    Familiar local voice selected as finalist Springfield, MO – After driving into the KY3 parking lot in 1967, Ned Reynolds has held a position with the company for nearly 50 years, but times change and he has announced his retirement to accepted a position with the Kellogg’s Company to voice Tony the Tiger, the advertising cartoon mascot for Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes breakfast cereal. Talent scouts began contacting Reynolds after receiving favorable reviews of his catch phrases “get that off the screen” when one of the local sports favorites is being beaten and “bon jour and good…
  • #GrowMO Blimp Gets High Man, So High

    FairCityNews.com
    8 Oct 2014 | 5:44 am
    Stoners take their message to new heights Springfield, MO – Locals were treated to an aerial suggestion to grow mo’ weed yesterday as the #GrowMO blimp canvased the metro area of Springfield, Missouri. Most drivers were mesmerized by the flying dirigible and began following it in their vehicles to its landing spot at the downtown airport. “The traffic was crazy. A freakin’ blimp shows up and everyone is paying more attention to it than the road. Perfect. Might as well be driving high. Which I guess is the point of the stunt, to get us growing more cannabis in the ShowMe state,” said…
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    Noise to Signal

  • Recreational misogyny

    Rob Cottingham
    12 Oct 2014 | 1:28 am
    I’m starting to think we’ve reached a tipping point on the issue of misogyny in video games in particular, and a big chunk of tech culture more generally. To get here, it’s taken a lot of courage from a lot of women. One of the most notable is Anita Sarkeesian, whose video series has done more than anything else I can think of to force a conversation on the issue. It’s also drawn a backlash: some of the ugliest, most vicious responses I’ve ever seen. There’s a lot further to go. If you’d like to support her work, you can make a donation here. Updated:…
  • Ello isn’t Facebook. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

    Rob Cottingham
    25 Sep 2014 | 4:07 pm
    A new social network has launc— WAIT! Don’t run away! For quite a while, Alex and I were constantly hearing from people who wanted us to help them build “the Facebook of x“, where x was some industrial vertical, demographic or affinity group. Nearly all of those folks hadn’t taken into account the fact that, with a large and growing share of the population, Facebook was already the Facebook of x. But now there’s Ello, which has no ambitions to be the Facebook of anything. They don’t want to be Facebook at all: Your social network is owned by advertisers.
  • You mess up, we break your thumb… drive.

    Rob Cottingham
    5 Sep 2014 | 1:53 pm
    Corrupt cops and politicians? Bruno and me, we like ‘em. Corrupt removable media? Naw, that ain’t so good. That’s the sort of thing that makes me and Bruno upset. And when we get upset, we like to hack things. Only Bruno, here, he doesn’t hack with a computer, you get what I’m sayin’? He’s more like what you’d call a social engineer, except he beats the crap outta you. We’re lettin’ you off light, you know: muss up your hair a little, wrinkle that shirt up, give ya something to think about. But lemme tell you: if Kingston Technology…
  • We also considered “Momentary Apps in Judgement”

    Rob Cottingham
    2 Sep 2014 | 5:27 pm
    Google has just announced that “Google Apps for Business” are (is?) being renamed “Google Apps for Work“. And as someone who does a lot of work with the nonprofit and government sectors, I’m giving that branding a thumbs-up. That said, it would make me happy to think that there were at least a few days when “Google Apps for Getting Shit Done” was a real contender. Hey, there’s this thing where you tell jokes instead of drawing them. I believe the kids call it the standing-up comedy. And I’m going to be doing it on Wednesday, October 15th…
  • Next up, my Hour-Long-Break-With-A-Caesar-And-A-Good-Book challenge

    Rob Cottingham
    1 Sep 2014 | 1:24 pm
    Beth Kanter gave me a kind nudge on Facebook to draw something about the Ice Bucket Challenge to support ALS research. Here it is! Now, if you’re looking for something beyond graphic smartassery — like, say, real insight into the success of the challenge and what it means for the non-profit sector — check out Beth’s blog posts on the subject: Is A Downer News Cycle A Factor in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Success? Ice Bucket Challenge: Can Other Nonprofits Reproduce It? Has the Ice Bucket Challenge Spawned Charity Jacking? And watch Alexandra Samuel in this panel on the…
 
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    Mommy Wants Vodka

  • National Pregnancy, Infant And Child Loss Day: Tables Missing One

    Your Aunt Becky
    15 Oct 2014 | 6:11 am
    Band Back Together is doing a wall of remembrance as well. Please visit if you can. We’re also calling for submissions from our pregnancy, baby, child  loss mama and daddies this month. Any issues logging in email bandbacktogether@gmail.com. When I first started blogging, I found myself fitting in, not with the other mom bloggers, but with the fringe groups. The infertility bloggers, the baby loss bloggers, the special needs bloggers – those were people I could identify with much more so than the people I was supposed to fit in with. Maybe I hadn’t lost a child, maybe I…
  • What Was Decidedly NOT Brownie Batter

    Your Aunt Becky
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:41 am
    Part I Part II Part III After what felt to be 27 years – but was more likely to have been 27 minutes – I decided that one melting down child (read: me) was enough; it was time to return to our humble room to watch some … whatever people watch in hotels that isn’t porn. When I’d skinned the kids of their wet suits, much to their vocal displeasure, I noted that they were covered tip to tail in a rash. Attributing it to over-chlorination, I felt, for the first time, pleased with the hotel. We all know kids whiz in pools with alarming frequency and by the rashes on their bodies, I…
  • Twi Hard

    Your Aunt Becky
    18 Mar 2014 | 9:06 am
    Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I may have also seen every movie opening night.” Me: …sputters… (eye twitches) Lauren: “Haha.” Me: (googles “how to understand Twilight if you haven’t read it,” then thoughtfully erases it from the search box in case someone wandered by and accidentally saw that I’d googled anything about…
  • Things Unsaid Today

    Your Aunt Becky
    13 Mar 2014 | 10:15 am
    “I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care to count. She needs a second total knee replacement now; she told me that your mom does, too. Sucks watching our parents get older, doesn’t it? Fuck, it sucks getting older – period.” “You’ve been on your own Medical Mystery Tour – forgot to tell you: I finally had that MRI. I guess I got tired of people making the…
  • Street Fighting (wo)Man

    Your Aunt Becky
    10 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Part I Part II Because I am not only stupid, but dumb too, I can’t back down from a fight. I tried once, but it broke my arm. So when I started getting the hairy eyeball for daring to sit on an unoccupied chair adorned with an unused beach towel, my fake-rock bruised ass was absofuckinglutly ready for the Thunderdome. Wearily, I hummed Eye of the Tiger and was all “I know EXACTLY what roadkill feels like” as the entire row of vultures, er, people in the chairs in front of me got up, one by one, and began to form a semi-circle around one man who appeared, from my vantage…
 
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    12 Most

  • 12 Most Obvious Signs You Are Watching Too Much Toddler Television

    Susan Maccarelli
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Susan Maccarelli   Do you announce bath time using the following song “Let’s take a bath. A lovely bubbly bath,” a la the Disney Channel? Then this 12 Most post is for you! You’ll know it’s time to put away the remote and head for nap time if you relate to these signs that […]
  • 12 Most Irritating Things to Say to a Single Person

    Sophie Fox
    7 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Sophie Fox   It’s official: there are more single people than ever before, 124.6 million single Americans in August 2014. This is more than half of the adult population. The figures are similar here in the UK. In spite of this, there are still a few of you happy couples who have yet to […]
  • 12 Most Timely Questions to Ask When You Have a New Job

    Kelly Belmonte
    6 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Kelly Belmonte   It used to be the case that you had about 90 days to get “up to speed” and begin adding value at a new job. The expectations were relatively low that you would or could be able to competently do your job before that point. Times have changed. The need to […]
  • 12 Most Honest Reasons to Lie When Interviewers Ask Your Current Salary

    Eric Butts
    30 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Eric Butts   What’s the key to a successful salary negotiation? If your answer isn’t “lying,” then you’re doing it wrong. It sounds harsh, but it’s a cold world out there in the business world. One of my mentors made a general comment to me about working for a company you don’t own: “If […]
  • 12 Most Game-Changing Lessons for Entrepreneurs

    Mani Canaday
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Mani Canaday   When I was a brand new entrepreneur, I had the good fortune of receiving a lot of great advice from people with more experience. I also learned a lot through trial and error. In the spirit of sharing and camaraderie, these are the lessons I’ve found to be the most helpful: […]
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:04 pm
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:04 pm
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:04 pm
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:04 pm
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:04 pm
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • No signs of improvement

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Jim Weber, the conductor was furious with Hank, the drummer, who constantly seemed to be out of beat. Having supervised him for long hours, Jim felt frustrated as Hank did not show any signs of improvement. Frustrated, Jim Weber reprimanded Hank, "When a performer can't perform anymore and is too stubborn to pick up, they give him 2 sticks, and make him a drummer."A violinist whispered, "And if he doesn't even manage that, they snatch one of his sticks and make him a conductor!"
  • Lost business

    Mitesh Asher
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Betty-Boo, the chubby blonde, was talking to her old friend Lisa Ray.She complained, "You know I am on the road a lot. My business depends on fabric samples that my customers courier to me, based on which I proceed with outsourcing of finished garments. But because of my travel, the couriers don't reach me."Lisa Ray asked her, "So did you try to do something about it?""Yes" replied Betty-Boo. "I put a box in my car.""A box??? How does it help?"Betty-Boo said, "I don't know as yet. I haven't received any couriers so far."Lisa Ray asked, "And what is the reason for it?"Betty Boo answered,…
  • My business

    Mitesh Asher
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Terry, ever so drunk, goes up to a cute blonde in the pub and says to her, "Do you mind me asking you a personal question?"The blonde shrugs and said, "I have an idea where this conversation will finally lead to, so go ahead, ask your question."Terry said, "All right, how many guys have you slept with?"The blonde retorted, "None of your business. That's my business."Terry said, "Cool! So what do you charge for a night?"
  • Vengeance

    Mitesh Asher
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Boka says to his friend Khoka, "How do you compare Vengeance to Sweet vengeance?"Khoka says, "You only tell the answer."Boka says, "Vengeance is gunning for your enemy's wife, and sweet revenge is discovering she is lousy in bed!"
  • Letter from Suzie

    Mitesh Asher
    15 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Rob worked at the local post office, and one day he day he found a letter which was addressed to God. Intrigued, he decided to open it. It read:Dear AllmightyI am a 79 year old widow surviving on pension. Last evening, I got mugged on the streets, and was robbed of the $500 that I had to last me for the rest was of the month. It is my granddaughter's birthday next week and I had planned on buying a nice present for her. Now, I have no money even to buy food. I am depending on you for help.In needSuzie.Rob was moved by the letter and showed it to all his colleagues. Immediately, everyone…
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    Where's Whitney's Soup? - Blog

  • Make Shift Life

    9 Oct 2014 | 11:43 am
    I’m here!  In California.  Los Angeles.  For at least the next 2 years.  Arrived almost 6 weeks ago, but somehow still sleeping on a make-shift bed. Do not despair!  I am very capable of curling up when the time calls.  Reminder:  I moved to here from Massachusetts for graduate school (library and information science). Classes started this week. So did in-class student introductions. My WordPress class professor asked us to list the internet-capable electronics we use. (This question came after, ‘What are your career goals?’)  When my…
  • Agogo and Gatorade

    25 Jun 2014 | 10:13 am
    On Monday, I started my summer stats class.  Why am I taking a stats class?  My grad program that starts this fall is making me. What do I think about stats now that I’m in it?  Well, all the Indian and Asian students sit in the center row of the amphitheater classroom.  And the white students and the 2 black students sit in the outside rows.  I was sandwiched between 2 boys. One was nice and had neat handwriting. The other was neither, and wouldn’t stop using his teeth - all of his teeth - to play with his pen cap.  Like one of these wooden…
  • Stories

    30 Apr 2014 | 2:26 pm
    A little while before right now, I was stuck in traffic.  (The motor vehicle kind.) But the cause wasn’t from a crash or a fender bender!   That’s a duckie inside the green circle. I instantly went from being traffic-depressed to cute-thing-happy. Days / weeks later, I attended The Fanciest Wedding. After that, I flew to Columbus to celebrate Purim. (I’m the lady-who-wasn't-ready-for-the-photographer-to-take-the-picture in the back, not the princess on the left.) Where I was inspired to order myself new sunglasses. (protective case) Because... Guess…
  • Lucky Me

    12 Feb 2014 | 6:09 pm
    My Valentine's Day present came early this year.  In the form of sweatpants. These sweatpants. I go, "Um.  I don't understand...the sweatpants."He goes, "They're pink." Fuck.  Me.* *Statement not addressed to He.
  • I Go Missing From Time To Time

    6 Feb 2014 | 12:25 pm
    From the Internet.My most recent excuse(s): Before making my new pear friend, I travelled cross-state: Where I attended a Jewish Ball: Past 4 months in a nut shell.
 
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    i'm bill dixon

  • *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking...

    3 Oct 2014 | 3:50 pm
    *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking floor.*
  • Girl Is Born

    29 Sep 2014 | 10:30 am
    Girl is born Society: Hey girl you should be sexy, dress more sexy girl be sexy sexy girl be sexy sexy girl… 10 years later… Society: Hey hey be sexy sexy girl be sexy…. 6 years later… girl gets ambitious and dresses like sexy cat for Halloween Society: HALLOWEEN IS JUST AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GIRL TO DRESS LIKE SLUTS! You a slut girl, stop being such a slut, slutty girl…
  • Girl With The Third Boob

    23 Sep 2014 | 12:00 am
    Guy 1: I read online that a girl got a third breast implanted. Guy 2: You can’t believe everything you read on—” Guy 1: From Florida. Guy 2: Eww, so why’d she do it?
  • nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY...

    22 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY 9/23 This weeks lineup- Surprise guest we can’t legally announce.(Hint: Standup comedy icon, in Movies)-Baron Vaughn-Dave Ross -Hal Lublin -Peggy Sinnott -Patrick Quinn Hosted by Kate Berlant Join us! https://www.facebook.com/events/355504674618961/ Come on out to this show I invented with my mind. It’ll be a lot of fun.
  • The Next Time You Get Frustrated with Life Remember...

    26 Aug 2014 | 5:37 pm
    We’re in outer space right now. We’re floating on a globe that isn’t attached to anything. All of this is really fucking silly.
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    The D-MAIL

  • Tying the Knot, or Noose?

    'D'
    25 Sep 2014 | 2:08 pm
    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -----------------SocratesWell that explains why India is full of Philosophy. Speaking of full, half of the Indians are below the age of 25. And if the figures are right, there will be approximately 313million marriages within the half-decade, assuming that every Indian parent is strictly speaking, Indian.  It’s nothing less than an endemic. Taking 125 million victims every year, it’s clearly far worse than HIV, Cancer or Global Warming combined!Marriage for a man is…
  • How to Long Distance a Relationship

    'D'
    10 Jun 2014 | 9:14 am
    I never knew I'd be the one doing this! I mean seriously, you kids can't even handle a long distance relationship?! If you can't deal with a thing like that, what'll you do with the tougher parts of life, like choosing between The 'Endoplasmic Ectoplasms of Schrodinger's Cat' Thesis submission and updating your cover pic on fb. Well, the open secret is, Long distance relationships are way easier compared to its icky sticky counterpart. Think of it this way, it's honeymooning, but with less honey and more mooning!For those of you who're fortunate enough to experience this, let me tell you,…
  • What’s cooler THAN being ICE COLD?

    'A'
    2 May 2014 | 9:04 am
    It has always been our endeavour to answer random questions asked by celebrities that were also not actually questions. The quest for knowledge is enshrined in the DNA of the writer and this post is a manifestation of such idiosyncrasies and other difficult words. “What’s cooler than being ice cold?”  Asked  Outkast, back in 2009.   Off of the top of my head I can think of the following: How about a President who is rapper? (YES WE CAN Rap!)A dictator who was a former supermodel? (PLEASE!)Maybe a Prime Minister who was once a weed dealer (once a…
  • LOST - Rewritten

    'D'
    9 Apr 2014 | 9:57 am
    The whole world is abuzz and curious to find out more about the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Every media source is on the job, sending their best journalists, Psychics and swimmers to the probable sites. What they don't know is that the plane crashed just on the outskirts of the Banana Republic, our home base. Now, after decades of keeping the spot a secret, secreter than the Bat-cave, which is still underground at 221B Boiler Street (Sorry Bats), we're under the moral and ethical dilemma. The question here is, should we announce the crash site of the plane and risk revealing our hide-out or…
  • It's Time To Get Serious!

    'D'
    31 Oct 2013 | 10:30 am
    The Dark Metamorphic Amorphous Illicit Literature, yeah, The D-Mail. So basically, all this time we made you laugh, we provided you with puns and innovation in Language with our torture techniques, but I guess with time, everything changes; and it's definitely time for us to become something bigger, something Better. And so, we have for you a new kind of posts. This Label puts D'N'A at their wit's end. Of course, you'll see the classic puns and humor sprinkles, but we're moving to a new realm, that of Seriousness, a very serious kind of Humor. The kind that makes you laugh...then think and…
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    Daniel Drummond Harvey

  • The Homebase Long Reach Watering Can

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to Paul Loft, Managing Director of Homebase: Dear Paul Loft, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for Homebase, the leading home enhancement retailer selling over 38,000 products for the home and garden (I didn’t count them myself! I took this information on trust from your website). One could say that I have one home and two gardens – however, this is not as strange as it sounds; I simply have both a front garden and a back garden. I tend to refer to the front garden as “the front garden” and the back garden as, simply,…
  • A problem with “The Jeremy Kyle Show”

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:05 am
    I recently wrote to Jon Millership, producer of the ITV1 daytime television show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”. This is what I wrote to him: Dear Jon Millership, I am a big fan of the show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, in which guests attempt to resolve personal problems with the aid of the show’s host, Jeremy Kyle. I particularly like the show’s emphasis on traditional family values (as you may know, traditional family values are currently being eroded). Considering how many people he has helped on “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, I am surprised that Jeremy Kyle…
  • A film idea for Jerry Bruckheimer

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    3 Oct 2014 | 9:18 am
    I recently sent the following email to the Hollywood “movie” producer Jerry Bruckheimer: Dear Jerry Bruckheimer, I am a big fan of your films (movies). My favourite film (of your films) is “Top Gun” starring Tom Cruise, which tells the story of a young aviator’s adventures at the Fighter Weapons School in San Diego. I have an excellent idea for a film, which I hope you will be interested in producing. The film is called “The End Of The World Is Nighy”. It tells the story of the English actor Bill Nighy, star of “The Phantom of the Opera: The…
  • The work of Bryan Adams

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to the 1990s pop singer Bryan Adams: Dear Bryan Adams, I am writing to you because I am a huge fan of your work! Generally, I do not like pop music – it is too loud (unless I turn the volume down!) and I rarely understand the words, but your music is different. Of all of your songs, my favourite is “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, which features on the “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” soundtrack album. It was a shame that “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” lost out on the 1991 Academy Award for Best Original…
  • Advice from a comedy magician

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    18 Sep 2014 | 11:12 am
    I recently sent the following email to the Portsmouth-based comedy magician Roy Charles: Dear Roy Charles, I note with interest that you are a “comedy magician” – a comedian who also performs magic. Congratulations – this is quite an impressive balancing act (not literally – unless you also do tightrope walking as part of your act!) (just a bit of fun). I am writing to you today in your capacity as a comedian rather than your capacity as a magician, as I would be grateful if you could offer me some “comedy advice” (that is, some advice regarding…
 
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    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • What could this possibly mean? #confusing

    Lori Culwell
    1 Oct 2014 | 10:18 am
    via Instagram
  • "Your friendly neighborhood shipping center..."

    Lori Culwell
    27 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    via Instagram
  • My Summer Standing Desk/ Treadmill Desk Experiment!

    Lori Culwell
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:08 am
    Well well well….here I am again!  I’ve been working on a BIG BIG project all summer (announcement to come soon!), and part of the time at least, I’ve been doing it on a treadmill desk that I finally got around to putting together.   Because several people noticed my dramatically increased step-count on Fitbit.com and Twitter (I use the Fitbit pedometer to track my steps) and asked me what was going on and why I was walking 10 + miles per day now, I thought I would just give you a little breakdown of the desk with a photo.  I really love it, and it was not complicated at all to set…
  • Gum...with no pants.

    Lori Culwell
    25 Sep 2014 | 3:00 am
    via Instagram
  • Happy Monday!!

    Lori Culwell
    22 Sep 2014 | 11:18 pm
    via Instagram
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    Now That's Nifty

  • Linkin Park - In The End (Cover) - Sung in 20 Styles

    24 Sep 2014 | 12:26 pm
    This guy is talented, with a capital "T." Well, not in this instance, because the "T" in "talent" was in the middle of a sentence. Also, it wasn't a proper noun or anything. So, this guy still... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Mutant Giant Spider Dog

    5 Sep 2014 | 12:06 pm
    This was pretty funny. When you know it's a dog, it just looks adorable. But these people are terrified. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Don't Steal Gas in the Hood

    3 Sep 2014 | 12:29 pm
    ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Metaphor: The Tree of Utah

    3 Sep 2014 | 11:57 am
    There is an 87-foot-tall cement tree located in the desolate Great Salt Lake Desert of Utah. The sculpture was created by the Swedish artist Karl Momen in the 1980s and dedicated in 1986. The... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • 13 Funny Tweets

    1 Sep 2014 | 12:20 pm
    @DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder. @twayne1010: A real ice cream truck would have melted by... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
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    Funny pictures and photos

  • Funny weight loss picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    26 Sep 2014 | 2:05 pm
    This looks like a good and funny weight loss pic. Looks interesting and true...By the way, here is a good weight loss product that will surely help you lose weight fast and 100% healthy!
  • Funny giraffe picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    6 Sep 2014 | 11:48 am
    Hi. This is a really funny giraffe pic I am not really sure why it is over the tree, but it looks crazy and entertaining :DAlso, check out this funny cat pic.
  • Funny cat picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    11 Jul 2014 | 5:50 am
    Hello everybody. Today I found one really interesting and entertaining cat pic that I am sure you will like. A cat and a mouse together, go check it out below!By the way, here is another cool and funny cat picture that is currently on a diet! Visit http://dogtrainingfoundation.com to find out more regarding labrador retriever health problems.
  • Funny baby picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:27 am
    Lol, this is really good and funny baby photo. This cute baby is going to have a date with a beatiful little girl. Wish him good luck ♥By the way, here are a few good dating tips that might be useful!
  • Funny animal picture

    Plamen Ivanov
    24 May 2014 | 10:39 am
    Lol. Our post of the day is a really funny animal photo. I am sure you will like it and that it would make you smile. That's the best way a lion can say "Hi".Here is another good and funny cat picture
 
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
  • Everyone’s a critic

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:17 am
    Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different. The crowds were going to love the new … Continue reading →
  • Academic Dumas-ery

    Mark A. Rayner
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    Kane X. Faucher’s latest novel is a brilliant adaptation the classic Alexander Dumas tale of revenge, The Count of Monte Cristo. I’ve always loved the original, and Faucher’s book is a wonderful satire that cleaves to the original plot so … Continue reading →
  • The Halloween Feast of Madness Bird

    Mark A. Rayner
    9 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Say what you will about Marge and Delia, but they served a mean turkey dinner. Sure they might have been witches. Sure, they tended to use a little too much salt when they were cooking. (Probably from all the dehydrated … Continue reading →
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    Chandra Clarke

  • Dear Facebook, please ban motivational quote pictures

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Chandra Clarke Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some positive thinking and encouraging words. But if I see one more post that quotes the Dalai Lama, Albert Einstein, or Sophocles, I may barf. You see, before digitization made it uber easy to share inspirational words, we only got occasional doses of motivation by picking up a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Wake Up And Smell The Tiger

    Chandra Clarke
    27 Sep 2014 | 8:44 am
    Chandra Clarke On those days when you’re fed up with your job, it’s always wise to remember that it probably doesn’t rank as one of the worst in the world. Consider the folks who are currently developing a pest repellent based on… tiger dung. Indeed, rank is probably the key word here. Leave aside for the moment […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • You’ve Been Warned

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Sep 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Chandra Clarke We live in the age of the legal arms race. On one side, lawyers like to launch lawsuits against companies whom they say have failed to provide adequate warnings or instructions for their products. For the most part, this is a valuable service, and the legitimate lawsuits keep companies (or individuals) accountable. Of course there […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • (Not) In The Pink

    Chandra Clarke
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:13 am
    Chandra Clarke In general, I am not an Angelina Jolie fan. I see her face far too often in the tabloids at the grocery store checkout, and usually the news about her has been, well, weird. One Jolie headline, however, raised my estimation of her a notch. Supposedly, she offended her in-laws by refusing to dress a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • What’s the Path to Success?

    Chandra Clarke
    18 Aug 2014 | 2:52 pm
    Chandra Clarke Recently, I was invited to give a speech to a large group of teens from the Junior Achievement program (here are the Canadian and US group links). If you can forgive the humblebrag, it was very well-received, and several people suggested I reproduce it on one of my blogs. So without further adieu, here it […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
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    Stuff You Couldn't Make Up

  • Invisibility Cloaks for Sale

    SYCMU
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:08 am
    Invisibility Cloaks for Sale and 50% off too. Don’t miss this exciting opportunity. Meanwhile, check out our tumblr and pinterest profiles as well! The post Invisibility Cloaks for Sale appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Socks Buddy System Cartoon

    SYCMU
    18 Oct 2014 | 9:01 am
    Socks Buddy System Cartoon Ever lost  sock in the washing machine? Well, don’t you wish this cartoon was true? The folks at Spudcomics clearly haven’t lost many socks, because they think this is what happens when socks go on a field trip … Continue reading → The post Socks Buddy System Cartoon appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:10 pm
    When you go to a friend’s house for the first time, as opposed to when you’ve been there before.   The post When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:03 pm
    What’s the difference between piano tuna and pot of glue? -you can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna -what about the glue? -I knew you’d get stuck there. The post Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Five Beautiful Waterfronts You Have to See

    SYCMU
    13 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    The post Five Beautiful Waterfronts You Have to See appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
 
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    Love and Knuckles

  • Dear Kate: Help! My Husband And I Can’t Agree On a Baby Name

    Kate
    18 Oct 2014 | 3:19 pm
    Dear Kate, I’m 8 months pregnant. My husband and I can’t agree on a baby name. What do we do? Love, Lindsay ————————————— Dear Lindsay, He does understand you’ve carried a human being in your womb for nearly 10 months, right? Did he gulp glucose or have someone periodically rub gel all over his stomach? Did he at one point have someone stick a wand up his who-ha? Is he anticipating having at least two nurses and a doctor remove that 8 pound baby from inside his body? Will he then spend 6 weeks…
  • A Letter To Kris Jenner About Bruce’s New Love Life

    Kate
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:57 pm
    Dear Kris, PEOPLE Magazine has just informed me Bruce Jenner has begun a new romance with your longtime friend and former assistant Ronda. “Kris is devastated,” says the source. “This was her former assistant and best friend of 20 years.”  Hang on. Do you really think Bruce is making out with anyone? Since your best friend has obviously abandoned you, please allow me to fill in as your sister-friend. Before you start throwing candles, leopard print blankets, and pictures frames all over the place let’s go over some things. Bruce wears a sports bra. He…
  • My Beauty Advice For My Daughters

    Kate
    15 Oct 2014 | 9:33 pm
    Girls, My first lesson in beauty was standing in Shannon Demas’ bathroom watching her mom Sue (Aunt Sue) apply makeup. “You should always look your best,” she would explain. I spent hours trying on her high heels, which she kept in a pile beside the door to her master bedroom. “High heels make your legs look skinnier,” she would say. She always smelled like perfume and her hair was always curled and set just like Sandy in the movie Grease.. I want you to understand beauty comes from within. Beauty is confidence. That said here are some additional tips. HAIR You…
  • No One Should Wear Teva Sandals And Here’s Why

    Kate
    14 Oct 2014 | 8:30 pm
    To Whom It May Concern, I need you to understand Teva sandals are not a suitable choice of footwear. If wearing shoes is a statement then this must be yours: I hate my life. Basically what you are saying when you slip on a pair of tires with velcro fasteners is that you have given up on yourself and the world around you. It’s like throwing on a pancho after you’ve swallowed a bottle of pills or pulling on a pair of sweatpants after you’ve shaved off your eyebrows. Are you just throwing in the towel? And you can try to dress it up with fancy socks, but we both know that…
  • You Want Some Bad Career Advice?

    Kate
    13 Oct 2014 | 3:45 pm
    Last weekend I ran into a girl I used to coach. She was happy to report she graduated from Syracuse and was beginning a Masters program. Forget her parents, I’d like to think I was partly responsible for her success. During practices I would sprinkle my own advice to the Varsity field hockey and lacrosse teams at the local high school. “Choose a college based on its curriculum and alumni program and not because it is close to your boyfriend, because chances are slim that you will end up marrying him despite what he promised you at Homecoming.” But you can’t take…
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    The Idle Lord

  • More Sporting Legacy Bollocks

    Steve
    17 Oct 2014 | 6:57 am
    Way back in 2002 the Labour Government initiated the process of what would ultimately result in the staging of the London Olympics in 2012. Undeterred by the likely costs of this – which they grossly underestimated – the politicians pushed ahead soothing the public with promises – which they grossly overestimated – of a grand […] Continue reading ... More Sporting Legacy Bollocks.
  • Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:16 am
    This week I wandered down to the abyss – Bradford city centre – for the first time in a few years. I packed my United Nations phrase book, stuck the sign on my back saying “crap phone, no need to mug” and set off to Cllr Ear Ring’s Utopia. And would you believe it? Rising […] Continue reading ... Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon.
  • Nasdrovia!

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 3:06 am
    We Brits love a good wedding. It’s a chance for otherwise sane and respectable people to act like lunatics for a day and your aunt to convince herself that she really could make the Strictly finals with a bit more disco in her. My cousin Shaun (“Cus”) was getting married again – God loves a […] Continue reading ... Nasdrovia!.
  • Gone Fishing!

    Steve
    3 Oct 2014 | 1:39 am
    I’ve been away this week but did not want to let down those of you who actually look forward to my weekly offering; so I’ve done a Phil & Kirsty and “revisited” an old piece. At my age old pieces are the only things left to revisit. Almost two years ago I wrote The Dating […] Continue reading ... Gone Fishing!.
  • The Tit

    Steve
    25 Sep 2014 | 8:38 am
    A few times over the last few weeks you may have opened a post from me without any content; this is all my very own incompetence, pushing the wrong button – publish not preview – by mistake. There is an old saying to explain apparent failures of technology which goes “It is not the tit […] Continue reading ... The Tit.
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    Barb Best

  • How To Skunk Writer’s Block

    Barb Best
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:04 am
      Are you having trouble writing? You are not alone. Whether it’s a thousand page trilogy or merely a text to your cousin you can’t finish, you need support. I suggest you join Writers’ Anonymous – WA. For full-time professionals, it’s WA WA. You will learn the necessary tools and steps to lick writer’s block […] The post How To Skunk Writer’s Block appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See

    Barb Best
    7 Oct 2014 | 10:50 am
      Do celebrities annoy you? The narcissists who never cease to amaze us with their sheer lack of restraint? Thanks to an avalanche of 24-7 celebrity “news” we are bombarded with celebrity drama queens’ constant cry for attention. They appear. They promote. They publicize. They SELL, SELL, SELL! 7 CELEBRITY PRODUCTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE […] The post 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape

    Barb Best
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:37 am
    Are you physically fit & healthy?               Are you in good shape? Do you feel strong? Take the quiz… 7 Clues… You’re NOT So Physically Fit Texting tires you. Your blood type is no longer B+   It’s D- Sleeping enervates you. You use caffeine as a defibrillator. You consider […] The post Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape appeared first on Barb Best.
  • A Third Breast? 5 GOOD Reasons to Add One!

    Barb Best
    24 Sep 2014 | 9:10 am
    Mamma Mia! Woman undergoes surgery to add third breast. Why? You ask! “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” Jasmine said. Honey, couldn’t you just skip waxing and adopt five cats? Also, it seems Jasmine has the dream of having her own Reality […] The post A Third Breast? 5 GOOD Reasons to Add One! appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Prescription Drug Name or Disney Character?

    Barb Best
    17 Sep 2014 | 1:17 pm
    What’s in a name? In a prescription drug name? Drug companies sell directly to the consumer/patient/poor schlub like me via TV commercials. Doctors now take prescription requests. “Doc, I saw this snazzy, sexy ad for “Beallus” that was shot on the beach in Hawaii. God, I’m in pain. I’d like to try some of that! […] The post Prescription Drug Name or Disney Character? appeared first on Barb Best.
 
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Note to a Cranky Muse

    Amy Vansant
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:12 pm
    My husband, Mike, is proud of me. He tells me this whenever I achieve a little victory. But I make my living as a web developer and not as a writer, and sometimes he’s confused by the tremendous amount of time and money I throw into my writing “career.” (His air quotes.) It isn’t that he’s condescending, like “Look at the little lady trying to be a writer!” type stuff. He knows comments like those end with his body cold and lifeless in our freezer. It’s more that he’s a glass half-empty sort of person, and can’t imagine that…
  • Dorking out for Little People

    Amy Vansant
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    My husband, Mike, and I recently vacationed in Dewey Beach, Delaware, because we’re cheap and the summer season was over. The big winner was our dog, Gordon, who maniacally chased a half-filled water bottle on the beach until we physically removed him for his own safety. We arrived at our beach cabin in the early afternoon and commenced cocktailing. Two hours later, we were too buzzed to drive and decided to order-in pizza, since the only sustenance I’d brought was either booze, or booze accouterments, like lemons and limes. I can get pretty narrow minded on vacations. Mike…
  • Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Paranormal Book Tour- Win Books & Gifts

    Amy Vansant
    8 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    My novel Angeli: The Pirate, the Angel & the Irishman is on a tour sponsored by Book Partners in Crimes Promotions  & eNovelAuthorsatWork this week with three other fantasy writers – I’ve combined all of them into one giant post here that includes a chance to win a copy of each book plus a gift card! Click the banner to see a list of all the tour stops! Meet the eBook Your Escape Authors   Dale Furse Dale has enjoyed many creative pursuits including playing guitar and singing in a band, acting and directing in theatre, writing novels, short stories, plays, songs and…
  • Interview with John Lehr – Watch Season 2 Quickdraw on Hulu

    Amy Vansant
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:56 am
    I stumbled on the hilarious series Quickdraw on Hulu last year and binged watched Season One. When it was over, I emailed Quickdraw star/creator John Lehr and ask him for an interview, to which, with a tip of his hat, he kindly obliged.  I held the interview until Season Two was available, and now it is! So… A. Read my interview with the very funny John Lehr below and then B. Go watch Quickdraw on Hulu! Your hilarious series on Hulu, Quickdraw, is now on its second season. How happy are you? We are thrilled. Our hope is to have a run as long as Gunsmoke which I think was 20 years or…
  • My Mother-in-Law Practical Jokes My Husband

    Amy Vansant
    17 Sep 2014 | 5:39 am
    I recently came back from visiting my Mother-in-Law near Sarasota, Florida, where my husband’s favorite hobby is teasing his mother about Florida-retiree cliches. Golf carts, sweat, swimming aerobics, fried beach hut food, more sweat, having to walk the dog so it isn’t carried away by gators or panthers (or gators and panthers who have worked out some sort of hunting partnership)… you name it. Water Aerobics. The horror, the horror. But my Mother-in-Law had her revenge. We were on our way to the pool at her community. I was poking through her endless array of visors,…
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    The Good Badger

  • Q&A: How Do I Get Over Writer’s Block?

    the Good Badger
    13 Oct 2014 | 3:24 pm
    We’re introducing a new series to the Good Badger called: “Q&A”, which is short for question and answer.  After a thorough investigation (conducted by me), the conclusion has been reached that I am the unquestioned coiner of this phrase.  You know this claim is valid because you’re reading it on the Internet.   If you have a question you’d like answered, send it here. Today’s question comes from Zach D in Denver, CO who writes the following: Hi the Good Badger, I know you’re probably busy saving baby animals from being abducted by evil…
  • 3 Reasons Why I Love Backpacking (And You Should Too)

    the Good Badger
    29 Jul 2014 | 9:03 am
    Warning: the following post uses the f-word (fuck, not filibuster) 15 times.  If you’re looking for some wholesome reading, you’re fuck out of luck.  Make that 16. Most people in this country don’t backpack, and quite frankly, that’s a good thing.  Backpacking is rewarding in large part because of this fact- it’s where you go to get away from the masses.  Add to this some beautiful scenery and a dash of exercise, and you’ve listed all the reasons why someone might enjoy this combination sport / hobby / lifestyle.  Right? Wrong. The reasons to love…
  • Redefining Pain

    the Good Badger
    30 Jun 2014 | 11:34 am
    A hundred billion neurons.  Ten trillion cells.  One hundred trillion bacteria.  All of this influenced by an immeasurable number of environmental and biological factors. Human beings are complex creatures, aren’t they? If you look through a microscope, perhaps.  If you take a step back, however, human behavior can be summarized in one sentence. We move toward pleasure and away from pain.  In most situations, pain plays a greater role in our motivation.  Burning your hand on a hot coal, walking across broken glass, or getting punched in the face with a baseball bat are all painful…
  • How to Vacation to Europe on the Cheap

    the Good Badger
    26 Jun 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A Western-European vacation is bacon for the soul. Few places on earth provide such a magical combination of history, beauty (in landscapes, architecture, people, and accents), FOOD, and culture without sacrificing any of the first-world luxuries that Americans tend to get itchy without.  The lone downside also happens to be a devastating one: the tornado-like effect it has on bank accounts.  The cost of airfare and lodging alone is the equivalent of 2,000 pounds of avocado, a shark boat, or this ocean garbage super important key.  Think of the possibilities. Many, reasonably albeit…
  • Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now

    the Good Badger
    13 Mar 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now Primer: if you’d prefer a much more intellectual take on why bone broth needs to be in you, check out this Weston A Price article.  This article is a perfect representation of why I (instantly) bowed out from the health blogging game: it’s a crowded space, I don’t do original research, and quite frankly, I consume far too much whiskey to preach an ideal diet (old fashions are my life fuel). That said, 18 months of obsessive research has equipped me with knowledge that has undoubtedly improved the quality of my life.  I’d…
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    lolriot.com

  • People Napping At Work (17 Photos)

    max4u
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:21 am
    The post People Napping At Work (17 Photos) appeared first on .
  • Gaming Lovers Will Appreciate These Pictures (25 Photos)

    max4u
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:14 am
    The post Gaming Lovers Will Appreciate These Pictures (25 Photos) appeared first on .
  • Awesome Makeup Makeovers (24 Photos)

    max4u
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:58 am
    The post Awesome Makeup Makeovers (24 Photos) appeared first on .
  • Funny, Corny, & Cheesy Pick Up Lines

    LolRiot!
    18 Oct 2014 | 3:13 pm
    You know, it’d be a lot easier for me to sweep you off your feet if you stood up… If you were a booger I would pick you first. “Do you know how I got these guns?” … Points to biceps while flexing… “Lifting children out of poverty.” If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one. If you were a vegetable you’d be a cutecumber. How much does a polar bear have to weigh to break the ice? Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I The post Funny, Corny, & Cheesy Pick Up Lines appeared first on .
  • Funny Halloween Costumes

    LolRiot!
    17 Oct 2014 | 3:20 pm
    Ah yes! It’s that time of year again. Time to get all dressed up, eat too much candy and have just a little too much fun. Here is some inspiration for those of you who will probably show up to the party in you everyday clothes with just a wig on. Don’t be boring. Take it to the next level like these folks did! 1.) Mario riding Yoshi. This is some serious dedication. The uh… nose area looks a bit like a… Via: Tumblr 2.) Blue Steel This guy has blue steel down. As you know, it takes years of The post Funny Halloween Costumes appeared first on .
 
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Frozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections

    Johnny Robish
    19 Oct 2014 | 8:37 pm
    Frozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections:  Fecal transplants to restore good gut bacteria can be life-saving for people with stubborn bacterial infections that do not respond to antibiotics, but the procedure is awkward, requiring a donation of fresh feces – usually from a relative – and a colonoscopy to deliver it, so doctors have come up with a way to make them more palatable – a frozen poop pill.  Or, as they’re known in medical circles – poopsicles.  I guessing there will never be chewable form of this treatment.  Doctors warn patients “now this…
  • Carnival Cruise Ship Returning to Texas after Ebola Concern

    Johnny Robish
    18 Oct 2014 | 8:55 pm
    Carnival Cruise Ship Returning to Texas after Ebola Concern:  A company spokeswoman says a Carnival Magic cruise ship was en route back to the United States on Saturday with a passenger from Texas who might have handled specimens of the first Ebola patient diagnosed in the United States but is considered at low risk.  In response, Fox News and CNN are calling for even tougher measures like quarantining people who may have been over-exposed to technical and scientific articles about Ebola.   Washington Teacher Told Not to Use Disciplinary Wheel of Misfortune:  School officials say a…
  • Most of California Man’s Body Eaten by Black Bear

    Johnny Robish
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:35 pm
    Most of California Man’s Body Eaten by Black Bear:  Authorities believe a 65-year-old Northern California man who was found over half-eaten by a black bear outside of his trailer in a remote area, had most likely died earlier of a heart attack before being eaten.  So much for the advice they always give that “if a bear approaches, stay still pretend that you’re dead.”  Another way to look at it is, I’m signed up to be an organ donor, sounds like this guy must have been a meat donor.   Ebola Nurse Says She Felt Funny in Ohio:  Amber Vinson, the second Ebola nurse, told…
  • Preliminary Tests Say Yale Student Doesn’t Have Ebola

    Johnny Robish
    16 Oct 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Preliminary Tests Say Yale Student Doesn’t Have Ebola:  Preliminary tests show that a Yale University graduate student evaluated at a Connecticut hospital for Ebola-like symptoms does not have the disease.  Clinicians did find that the patient was suffering from an overinflated ego as well as an extreme sense of entitlement, but chalked that all up to fact that the patient is a grad student at Yale.   Comet May Have Collided With Earth 13,000 Years Ago:  Scientists are claiming that new evidence supports the idea that a huge space rock collided with our planet about 13,000 years ago…
  • SC Governor Defends Confederate Flag at Statehouse

    Johnny Robish
    15 Oct 2014 | 8:32 pm
    SC Governor Defends Confederate Flag at Statehouse:  South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley (R) says there was no need to remove the Confederate battle flag from the Statehouse grounds because she can’t think of a single CEO who has ever complained about it.  On the other hand, I can’t think of any CEO’s who’ve complained about bleeding hemorrhoids either, but that’s not exactly an endorsement of bleeding hemorrhoids.   Northern California Faults Primed for Big Quakes:  According to a recent geological study, three fault segments running beneath Northern California where…
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    The Laugh Button

  • Watch the full trailer for HBO’s “The Comeback”

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Oct 2014 | 10:37 am
    After an initial short stint, The Comeback is… coming back to HBO. Lisa Kudrow stars in the sitcom that follows D-list celebrity Valerie Cherish as she attempts to climb back into the spotlight. After a few teasers, HBO finally revealed the first full trailer for the series’ return. The Comeback premiers on November 9th at […] Watch the full trailer for HBO’s “The Comeback” appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • “Last Week Tonight” creates an all-dog Supreme Court

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:40 am
    John Oliver returned with Last Week Tonight this Sunday on HBO. While the Supreme Court doesn’t allow cameras into the court room, they do provide audio from their proceedings for the media to use. The problem is is that these audio clips with no good visuals are just too boring. Enter Oliver. Oliver and crew […] “Last Week Tonight” creates an all-dog Supreme Court appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Amy Poehler producing church comedy for NBC with Aisha Muharrar

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:14 am
    The Queen of NBC has picked up a new project. With the hit show Parks and Recreation coming to an end this year, Amy Poehler has signed on to produce a new comedy written by fellow Parks co-executive producer Aisha Muharrar. According to Deadline, the untitled show will be a single-cam work place comedy that […] Amy Poehler producing church comedy for NBC with Aisha Muharrar appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Fox trims “Mulaney” series order to 13

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:51 am
    The talk of the fall (hell, year) has been all about John Mulaney’s new sitcom Mulaney. The show was originally turned down by NBC, a call that shocked many, then was picked up by FOX. Unfortunately, FOX recently decided to trim its season one order from 16 episodes to 13. According to Deadline, Mulaney just […] Fox trims “Mulaney” series order to 13 appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Key & Peele set first joint film “Keanu” for production next year

    Olivia Cathcart
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:35 am
    The duo behind Comedy Central’s hit show Key & Peele, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have set their first joint feature film over at New Line. According to Deadline, the project will start production next spring. The duo have been attached to multiple film projects over the past year, including a Police Academy reboot, a […] Key & Peele set first joint film “Keanu” for production next year appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Chewie Goes Surfing Shirt

    PBScott
    29 Sep 2014 | 8:27 pm
    On Sept 4, 1958, Pierre La Francais, the world’s most famous beverologist, was investigating reports of animal activities at the base of the Mackenzie river delta near Tuktoyaktuk. On this full moon night, moments after a shooting star, a large brown figure began to make it’s way down the beach towards Pierre. Pierre put his […]
  • Heart Of A Gamer

    PBScott
    3 Aug 2014 | 2:16 am
    I have one thing special, that sets me apart, something is different, when it comes to my heart. For if I feel passion, or am gripped By fear, rather than heart beats, it’s vibrations I hear. My life is a mission, to save all the earth, as dangers are plenty, I prove my great worth. […]
  • Pac-Man Pill Muncher Shirt

    PBScott
    20 Jul 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Pac-Man? Yeah I knew him, but I haven’t seen him in years now. Do you know why we called him Pac-Man? He used to eat so many pills, packs of them each day, and one day we took the pills away, so Pac got really angry and started chasing us around the house shouting. “Give […]
  • Pop Evil – Torn To Pieces – Video and Lyrics

    PBScott
    26 Jun 2014 | 11:04 am
    I know you probably all think that I live under a rock or something, but I had never heard of Pop Evil until today when I heard “Torn To Pieces”. I like its mellow beat, catchy tune, and it’s dark mood seems to suit me this morning. I looked it up on YouTube earlier and […]
  • Welcome To The Machine

    PBScott
    19 May 2014 | 8:48 am
    A few days ago I had a very strange experience, maybe not an overly unexpected one, but it was very strange just the same. I had gone to the local shopping mall with my girlfriend to look for a new backpack and get something to eat. After a short while I found one particular bag […]
 
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    The Peanut Butter Table

  • This is How Our Daughter Learned Math in First Grade Under Common Core

    Eva
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:36 am
    The following are examples of how our daughter learned 1st grade mathematical concepts: 3, 5, 8 2, 2, 4 5, 7, 12 9, 3, 12 6, 3, 9 4, 5, 9 8, 4, 12 2, 1, 3 6, 4, 10 5, 6, 11 And so on… The students in the Bug’s 1st grade class were […]
  • Our NWEA/MAP Opt-Out Letter

    Eva
    3 Oct 2014 | 6:44 pm
    The NWEA/MAP: “Measures of Academic Progress® (MAP®) creates a personalized assessment experience by adapting to each student’s learning level. You’ll have assessment data—and essential information about what each student knows and is ready to learn within 24 hours.” Uh-huh… This is our letter we sent to our 2nd grader’s principal to opt her out of […]
  • And So It Begins…

    Eva
    25 Sep 2014 | 8:34 pm
    Oh, great… what’s she on about now? Plenty, actually, thanks for asking. Hello, everybody!  Time to come clean. I wasn’t dirty before or anything but, you know. Some time ago, I made the decision to create a blog.  I had a blog before but that blog sucked so I created a new blog full of […]
  • Happy Birthday Little Dinosaur

    Eva
    27 Aug 2014 | 10:15 am
    Originally posted on Stories that Must Not Die:We are patiently waiting for you to come out of your cave. While we wait we’ve decided to celebrate your birthday with some Stories about you that will live on forever. One day, a dinosaur appeared in my fishbowl. She was wildly drawn and breathing fire, but…
  • The Bill and Melinda Gates Birth Control Interview

    Eva
    9 Aug 2014 | 8:21 am
    Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:In the early spring of 2014, I had the privilege of meeting the most charitable, creative and technologically brilliant couple on the planet: Bill and Melinda Gates. I knew what I was ready for; a dynamic pair of thinkers that were tinkering with something incredibly big and extraordinary…
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • If My Dog Could Talk …

    Tammy
    1 Oct 2014 | 8:02 am
    I’d be mortified. Or in jail. She would gladly share my dress size, the fact that I have chin hairs, that I’m an easy drunk (one glass of wine and I’m ready for a nap), how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news, that I eat in bed, my opinion on […]
  • Can a sassy woman blogger shame the NFL even if she doesn’t know a thing about football?

    Tammy
    10 Sep 2014 | 8:51 am
    Just watch me. Hey NFL, if I were your mother, I would take you out of the game. No time outs, no suspensions. I would throw your disrespectful ass out on the dirty street where it belongs. Your behavior is reprehensible, disgusting, and shows absolutely no regard for your players or their families. It is […]
  • I Want To Be A Gross, Stereotypical Objectification. Don’t You?

    Tammy
    27 Aug 2014 | 9:40 am
    It’s not often I profess to know more than Newsweek or the Chicago Tribune. But I sure as hell do today. A lot is being said about Sofia Vergara’s rotating pedestal act at the Emmys. Most of it bad. Very bad. Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune are just a small slice of the pie. Social […]
  • Heaven Didn’t Wait

    Tammy
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:29 pm
    I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself. I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then […]
  • Should We Grow Old Gracefully?

    Tammy
    15 Jul 2014 | 10:12 pm
    I was recently asked to lecture on the art of growing old gracefully. Boy were they barking up the wrong tree. I accepted the challenge. I figured it was an opportunity to enlighten my audience and get paid for it. Nice work if you can get it. I shared with them the bittersweet truth: there […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Come In / Go Away Doormat

    Daniel Repasky
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:26 am
    I actually like this doormat, if it wasn’t so expensive. It’s called an ambigram if you’re wondering. Most Helpful Customer Reviews 78 of 78 people found the following review helpful By Garred A. Oldham on March 10, 2010 Verified Purchase i turned it backwards when my family was coming over. but no one did what i said. damn thing is defective Comment Come In / Go Away Doormat is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass

    Daniel Repasky
    23 Sep 2014 | 5:51 pm
    This is would be a pretty funny glass to drink straight liquor out of. Link LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Thirteen!

    Daniel Repasky
    10 Sep 2014 | 5:42 am
    Gif Sound Mashup 13, with turtles, babies, cats, a bear, dinosaurs, and a martian rover! It took some extra time to render the beginning circles lol http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup 13! ►GifSounds used: COMING SOON Make your own! – http://GifSound.com no account required This video is covered under Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107 – Fair Use: All visuals and sound are no more than a few seconds in length, parody the original works, are highly transformative, and are not in any way a substitute for the original. All…
  • Lego Death Star, comes complete with exhaust port weakness

    Daniel Repasky
    14 Aug 2014 | 3:07 pm
    Looks pretty cool, but I’m not sure what kind of person buys a $500 LEGO set… for their kids… 20 of 21 people found the following review helpful  Missing cover for the exhaust port, 10 Aug 2014 By Golidog Theres a cover missing on the exhaust pipe. It’s probably not important but maybe this could be fixed for the next model. Thanks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink 43 of 52 people found the following review helpful  Flimsy design, March 20, 2014 By Brian Atwood “bratwood” I’m not…
  • A Yodelling Pickle

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Aug 2014 | 6:10 pm
    So well crafted. I’m sure the reviews will reinforce how what a wonderful pickle this is. 1,633 of 1,653 people found the following review helpful  Better Than Bieber, January 15, 2012 By Sadie My twelve year-old niece asked for the Justin Bieber CD for Christmas, so I bought her this yodeling pickle. Nobody so far can tell the difference. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink   1,603 of 1,651 people found the following review helpful  It’s a great portable music solution, April 2, 2010 By Timboliah…
 
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • How God Can Make a Ton of Cash

    Greg Mischio
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-all. But even He would be the first to tell you, you can just never have enough cash. With my latest Epiphany, I’ve got a foolproof way the creator can increase profits and put even more dough in his omniscient pocket. It’s funny, but even after I wrote that first paragraph, people were already lining up on my front lawn to protest my blasphemy. Look, I’m sorry. I mean no offense toward you and whatever God you may worship. But He would be pissed if I didn’t share with him my money-making scheme for supreme beings. It’s based on of the…
  • Test-Taker, the Hot New Occupation

    Greg Mischio
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Much ado has been made about testing in our public schools. I applaud testing myopia, which is why I capitalized on the trend. Introducing an entire company built around the world’s newest occupation: Test-taker. You can argue about the merits and demerits of testing, but that’s not how I roll. I don’t take sides. I just figure out what people want, and then charge a lot of money for it. In this case, the majority want to create the world’s best test-takers. They insist we beat every other country’s test scores, even though the minority (or minorities) might argue we should focus on…
  • Have Your Friends Raise Your Kids

    Greg Mischio
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    My kids are nice to me and the missus — most of the time. But they’re never as charming and pleasant to us as they are to our friends. This phenomenon was in desperate need of epiphanizing, and I was just the guy to do it. Have you ever noticed that the manner in which your child addresses you pales in comparison to the Eddie Haskell veneer they assume with other adults? Teens suddenly turn on the charm in the presence of other village elders. So where’s the love on the homestead? I don’t have an answer, and honestly, I really don’t care. As a loyal reader, you know by now that…
  • Passive-Aggressive Plants Must Be Stopped!

    Greg Mischio
    22 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    It’s time to call the plant world on the carpet. These passive-aggressive rooted things are messing with my head, not to mention my lawn. The reverse-psychology of my amazing new epiphany put them in their place. Exquisite lawn care is required in my neck of the woods. As a diligent denizen of the burbs, I am compelled by neighborhood covenants to maintain Pebble Beach standards. This requires mowing, fertilizing, aerating, and on occasion, a rain dance. Most importantly, it demands a war on weeds. Weeds. Nature’s nostril hairs. Those bastards will grow anywhere and everywhere. Unless you…
  • Become a Bazillionaire by Teaching Your Cat to Talk

    Greg Mischio
    15 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    I have no qualms with people obsessed with becoming bazillionaires. It’s just that they work so hard to make the cash. Why spend all your time and effort creating a new technology or becoming a highly-skilled doctor, when all you have to do is teach your cat to talk? People who make the big bucks make me chuckle. They work tirelessly, train endlessly and usually die prematurely. In the end, they have a pile of money that their heirs get to waste on drugs and the Home Shopping Network. It really doesn’t have to be that hard. There are all types of opportunities sitting out there, right in…
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    cestlavie22

  • Cajun Turkey Sandwich!

    cestlavie22
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:35 am
    I will admit to my fellow bloggers that I am not much of a sandwich person. Problem is I get bored very, very fast with all type of food. A long time ago I had a boyfriend who worked at Subway. In order for me to be able to eat any of the subs he made for me he came up with a plan. Instead of making me a sub out of turkey or roast beef or whatever he made me a sub that changed as I ate it. The first quarter might have been roast beef with lettuce and mayo, then the next section could have been turkey with mustard, and the next section could have been salami with something and so on. This was…
  • iBullshit!

    cestlavie22
    17 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I will be the first to admit that I grew up in the technology age. My dad was a computer programmer so I was blessed to have all the latest technology as it came out. One of my oldest memories is being only a few years old, sitting on my dad’s lap playing with Paint on the computer. I was a tech kid. And I am proud of it. As I grew up my obsession extended to phones and even iPod. I wanted the latest and greatest tech device to keep up with the times. But the thing was, technology was advancing with me. Cell phones really didn’t become huge until I was a teenager. The iPod really…
  • My version of Choctoberfest!

    cestlavie22
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:34 am
    Sometimes when I begin planning a date night I decide to throw all my previous ideas out the window and go with something that someone else has already perfected and make it my own. Coming off of a failed date night I wanted to be sure this date night was a win. And it was…in some ways. This date night is eloquently titled “Choctoberfest” by the Dating Divas. I get lots of ideas and inspiration from them so it should come as no surprise that this date came from them with a little of my own twist to it. I love the idea of Oktoberfest but I knew that a date in the house was…
  • Women can love sports the same way as men!

    cestlavie22
    10 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I don’t know how much I have talked about this on my blog, but I am a Female sports fan. My favorite sport to watch is baseball but I also follow Football pretty closely and I am learning to love Hockey ( since the boyfriend is into it). I have been into sports since probably middle school or early high school. I was the girl with all guy friends so it kind of came with the territory. I would stay up nights on the phone with one of my guy friends watching a game, complaining about the players and complaining about the penalties. I learned to love the sports. I learned everything about…
  • The Knotted Trunk!

    cestlavie22
    6 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    As I have mentioned before, I feel every blogger should help small shops get their name out there and noticed. A close friend of mine runs an awesome Etsy shop and I really wanted to introduce you guys to it! The Etsy shop called The Knotted Trunk makes awesome household items out of reclaimed wood. My apartment is basically a mash-up of things that were handed down to me, things I found at savers, things I found at yard sales and then random new items I bought out of need. Nothing really matches or goes with a theme. But the one thing that really resonates with everything in my home (and my…
 
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Onomatopoetry: Cat Version

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:29 pm
    Here's some more of this stuff, yo. Enjoy.
  • Charizard Uses Bite... It's Super Effective

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    8 Sep 2014 | 10:12 pm
  • Friends of Nigel 5: Mousecop and Charizard

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    29 Jun 2014 | 5:34 pm
    Alrighty, so, I went to draw some pictures for my blog and realized my tablet has not been charged, and I don't feel like waiting until it's charged. Therefore, today's blog post features ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS!And also this picture I drew a while ago:Let's start with the story of how MC and Cha-zizzle came to join our little family...Part 1: The DealOnce upon a time, there was a myself named Jackie. She didn't have any kitties because she lived in a teeny apartment and the evil apartment overlords charged $ARM.99 in non-refundable pet deposits and $LEG.00 (before tax) for monthly pet rent. To…
  • Our Anniversary Happened

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    26 May 2014 | 4:51 pm
    I was going to make some big deal about how it was our first anniversary this weekend, but I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say about it... We spent the night at a cute, slightly haunted B&B, ate some expensive food, and then we came home. Plus, we both came down with a yucky cold, so I don't have a ton if energy for thinking. Therefore, I drew you this pictures depicting how we are spending our Memorial Day!There is a post about our kittens coming up, though, so stay tuned for that.
  • A Comprehensive Guide to Jackie's Hair

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    20 May 2014 | 8:29 pm
    Since the early years of Cartoon Jackie, many different aspects of my person have changed drastically. From the beginning stages of primordial me, I lost the giant geeky glasses, my head got a little bigger, the feet and fingers went away, my facial features took a brief hiatus and came back as tiny eyes and huge mouth, and finally gained another dimension and leveled out as the magnificent creation you see before you today.Throughout all these changes, however, one thing has stayed the same:My ponytail.Remember this movie?Yeah, based on my life. Totally underrated, if you ask me. People…
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    McArthur Parks

  • Adorable Cape Stripper Brings the Junk to Afghan Soldiers

    Scotty
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:54 am
    I love this woman! No drama, no bones, no bullshit! “Yeah, I ended up giving one of the guys a lap dance” – like it was a side of fries. I gotta get one of those headbands! http://www.mcarthurparks.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/stripper_patriot.flv The post Adorable Cape Stripper Brings the Junk to Afghan Soldiers appeared first on McArthur Parks.
  • RIP Catherine Betta-Jones

    Scotty
    23 Sep 2014 | 6:06 pm
    Today, freshwater ecosystems across the globe are reeling from the loss of one of their own. #toosoon At 5PM GMT, the news broke that Catherine Betta-Jones had died peacefully in her coin jar surrounded by close family and algae. Born to humble beginnings near the banks of the Chao Phraya river in Bangkok, she led a life of intrigue, tragedy and ultimately redemption. At an early age, she was traded by her mother into the Betta Black Market for a dime’s worth of street-grade crystal beta-blockers. She escaped a life of slavery by stowing away in bottle of nam pla, cased and labeled for…
  • Smoke & Mirrors (BitchinSisters.com Guest Blogger)

    Scotty
    22 Sep 2014 | 7:45 am
    McArthurParks was lucky enough to guest-blog on www.bitchinsisters.com. Thanks Ladies! Another September is almost in the books, the aftermath of new locker combinations, emergency contact forms and hand-slaps from Sister-Mary-One-Thumb are but misty-gin-colored memories in the bottom of my “morning coffee.” Thank God! As a favor to the “Sisters,” I’m minding the storefront today.  Typically, I’m hiding in the back room performing technical support or acting as overall muse for the BS franchise, but today, the girls are shopping and lunching in the city and…
  • Chad Lowe, Lipstick Lesbians and a Do Rag!

    Scotty
    15 Sep 2014 | 5:51 am
    Spooky Little Liars Not sure if it’s possible for me to be anymore excited than I am for the upcoming 2nd half  Season 5 of Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family). Although this year I’ll miss what’s become my favorite episode – Halloween!  Looks like it’s off the books for this year.  It was a pretty big deal, not just for fans, but for humanity at large!  I loves me my liars! Toss in some false eyelashes, a mystery train and a dead body, and well, it makes the gayest holiday of the year just a little bit gayer (shoots…scores). It seems like just…
  • Select-a-size? No, Thank You

    Scotty
    9 Sep 2014 | 12:29 pm
    I had a huge crush on the Brawny guy growing up. I suppose “had” isn’t completely honest, but I’m working on it, and well, it’s not cheap. And just to be clear, I’m not talking about the NEW Brawny guy…he’s a dick. What’s with the high cheek-bones and the tight jeans? He’s not Brawny, he’s a big queen and his boyfriend is probably the casting director. I’m talking about old school Brawny. The guy who would walk in with his untied work boots and his one-syllable words, stinking of 12-hour logger musk. The kind of guy who…
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    Grahame GDG

  • Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame

    GrahameGDG
    16 Oct 2014 | 1:42 pm
    Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame Yeah true story! This is a tester for my new video series “Story Time With Grahame” where I basically tell you a funny story or two! This one is about the time I got tested for IBS and wheat intolerance and I had to poo in a pot and give it to an old lady. This is probably the most embarrassing story I have about myself particularly because it involves me talking about my own shite for 5 minutes straight! I think this video may seal my fate and mean that I never have sex again as no one who watches this will ever find me…
  • Awkward First Kiss Advice…Girl Kisses Her Own Brother!

    GrahameGDG
    12 Oct 2014 | 11:53 am
    Awkward First Kiss Advice …Girl Kisses Her Own Brother! | Don’t Ask Grahame Ok I admit the title to this one is a bit misleading but I couldn’t exactly write “kissed my brother” as the title. If I did people would be very freaked out and probably un-subscribe and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame them at all. Also if my brother saw the video title he would probably be thinking “when the hell did that happen?!?! Was I drugged?!” so yeah just going with the tame title on this one. So yeah this is totally screwed up but it was funny I have to admit. I…
  • How To Get Over A Break Up For Men

    GrahameGDG
    24 Sep 2014 | 12:56 pm
    How To Get Over A Break Up For Men | GrahameGDG Alright fellas? Been having a dump or been on the receiving end of a dump? If so then go wash the shit off yourself and come back to find out how to get over a breakup you dirty bastard. Now we’ve all been through tough breakups, it’s not nice, goes without saying. If this is your first one then yes you are supposed to not want to eat for like 2 days and yes you are supposed to not feel like having a wank for roughly the same time period. After those two days though hunger will drive you to eat and your swollen, blue testicles will…
  • How To Get Over A Break Up For Women

    GrahameGDG
    9 Sep 2014 | 1:29 pm
    How To Get Over A Break Up For Women | GrahameGDG Yet again uncle Grahame comes to the rescue with another excellent advice video to help out any of you dumpees and fresh widows. In this video I tell you everything you will ever need to know about getting over a break up. When I say everything I mean not a lot and when I say will ever need to know I mean wont ever need to know. Some of this is still relevant though if you want some ideas for witty comebacks for when you see them strutting about with their younger, hotter, more Swedish new girlfriend. I think the main things to remember is…
  • How To Deal With Bullies At School

    GrahameGDG
    5 Sep 2014 | 12:20 pm
    How To Deal With Bullies At School | GrahameGDG Decided to do it for my fellow geeks today and give you my tips on how to deal with bullies at school. I did genuinely get bullied but then pretty much everyone does at some point. Just depends on how far it does. I know what you’re thinking, it’s highly surprising that such a dreamboat as myself would get bullied but it’s true. I was such a bad geek in school. Like, seriously. If anyone is interested in seeing a photo of me when I was a kid then I may be willing to put on up on the Random Crap Blog if enough people leave me a…
 
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    Do You Remember

  • Happy Birthday Bela!

    Do You Remember
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:48 am
    It’s Bela Lugosi’s birthday, and with Halloween just around the corner what better way to celebrate than with the the sardonic stylings of Mystery Science Theatre. For the less than avid MST3K fan, the show is premised on an a poor human who’s stuck in space with a couple robots forced to watch bad old movies till the end of time. So what do you do when you’re condemned to such a cruel fate? Turn to comedy of course. The friends spend most of the movie turning the bad dialogue, and over the top story lines to wity one-liners that make watching the films not just…
  • 19 Gaffes That Prove Politicians Were Always This Dumb

    Serge Stevens
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:35 am
    It’s not easy being as politician these days. The news media act like a pack of velaciraptors, jackals, ready to pounce on the unscripted remarks made by harried, sleep-deprived candidates. And if the reporters don’t get you, there’s always plenty of smart phone-toting bystanders more than happy to catch the off-color joke, the stutter or the brain freeze and upload it to YouTube. If the upcoming presidential campaign is anywhere as rich in ridiculousness as the 2012 race, we’re in for some very choice tidbits from our servants of the people. In the mean time, here are our favorite…
  • It Happened Today — October 20

    Do You Remember
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:50 am
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 20 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • It Happened Today — October 19

    Do You Remember
    18 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 19 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • It Happened Today — October 18

    Do You Remember
    17 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 18 appeared first on Do You Remember.
 
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    David Beckham Comics - Untitled

  • Nosferatu, Delilah and the Devill

    16 Oct 2014 | 1:29 pm
    A drained, dead crew and Nosferatu, the Pumpkin beer loving, thirsty vampire on board a ship along  with Delilah and Angelo Devill as it's only living and undead passengers!
  • MIBs-Murderers In Black 3: Horror Night

    15 Oct 2014 | 12:24 pm
    The MIBs (Murderers In Black) many years later roam dark eerie  city streets on a foggy, horror night in mid October!
  • The Pumpkin Beer Tutorial Continues This Friday

    13 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    The Pumpkin Beer Tutorial Series continues this Friday, this second part of the three part series takes you step by step through the process of creating this spooky beer's label! It's easy, It's good, it's got a few techniques you can use for almost all of your projects! Read it exclusively on this site and stay tuned for the last part which includes downloadable vector material, fun and free!
  • The Human Torrent Battles The Scarlet Betch!

    13 Oct 2014 | 11:28 am
    The Fantastic Bores send the Human Torrent to battle the Scarlet Betch of the evil and super-powered Frightful Whores!
  • The Mahabharata Retold: part 1; Book Of The Assembly Hall

    12 Oct 2014 | 3:07 pm
    The Mahabharata Retold; The story of the 5 Pandava Brothers, who robbed of their kingdom through the trickery of weighted dice in a royal game of craps, must endure years of hard poverty before engaging in the ultimate battle on the flaming fields of Kurukshetra!!Read part one of the comic version of the first part; The book of the Assembly Hall!
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    Above Average

  • What If Christopher Nolan Directed Wall-E?

    Above Average
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:43 am
    Check out this spot-on mashup of Pixar’s classic “Wall-E” with Christopher Nolan’s upcoming space epic “Interstellar”. Can someone PLEASE make this a real thing?
  • Parker Is Having a Rough Time With People Today

    Above Average
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:42 am
    Parker wants the secret. Check out “People”, the latest video from channel partners Good Cop Great Cop:
  • This Dog Supreme Court is Responsible Television

    Above Average
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:36 am
    Since the Supreme Court doesn’t allow cameras to film its oral arguments, it can be difficult to pay attention to the less-than-thrilling audio. John Oliver, using an “almost immoral” amount of resources, has solved this problem with his own footage, featuring some well-behaved and not-so-well-behaved canine friends (we’re looking at you, Justice Alito).   Check out the full footage below:
  • Small Plates, Jeff Goldblum, and More Jeff Goldblum

    Above Average
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:35 pm
    Above Average’s staff answers the question: What’s the best thing you’ve seen on the internet this week?   Have You Been Flying BLAH Airlines?  “Virgin America’s six-hour long commercial (?)” – Matt Moskovciak   Enhance Your Lighting with Jeff Goldblum  “Jeff Goldblum is amazing in this.” Doug Bandes   Taylor Swift Kittens “Sooooo many cats.” - Ryan Spears   Small Plates “Sophisticated Taste Testing.” – Benjamin Baldwin   Jeff Goldblum Laugh Remix “I can’t believe I listened to…
  • Every office has someone that everyone complains about.

    Above Average
    16 Oct 2014 | 12:07 pm
    Revenge Notes highlight the art of the passive aggressive message.
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • The Time I Won the Lottery

    Dustin
    15 Oct 2014 | 4:15 am
    Deserae and I win a LOT of stuff. As I have discussed before, most people find this insufferable. But when they’re done rolling their eyes and saying angry things I hope they don’t mean, everyone always comes back with the same question: “How are you so lucky?” My response: #blessed. I say this because I know it’s what I’m supposed to say, not because it’s how I actually feel. Deep down, I’ve always been convinced that I’m lucky with these things because I make my own luck. Like, if you enter more, you’re probably going to win more, ya know? However, even I know that…
  • Parenting Tips From an Angry Mob

    Dustin
    8 Oct 2014 | 4:39 am
    I spent last Tuesday scribbling parenting notes. I wasn’t attending a parenting seminar or being mentored or even sitting near a single child. I was at a public hearing. I believe that moderating a public hearing about an unpopular decision has to be exactly like parenting a teenager. I guess I can’t say for sure because I have never done either, but it seems like, whenever they get angry, the public and teenagers do the same four things: YELL Issue slanderous statements against authority Make bad analogies Bring up the Bill of Rights I know this because I was both a teenager and a…
  • Farewell Old Friend

    Dustin
    1 Oct 2014 | 4:53 am
    Last week, an old friend of mine passed away. I haven’t been asked yet to give a eulogy at the funeral, but I thought I’d write one up, just to help me work through some emotions. We’re gathered here today to honor the memory of 1GCDL19W5TB552866, a 1993 Ford Tempo affectionately named “The Red Rocket.” The Red Rocket wasn’t the fastest car on the road. Or the fanciest. Or the most reliable. She was labeled by many a “Roller Skate,” “Death Trap” and “Ugliest Car I’ve Ever Seen.” But she was my first, and I loved her dearly. Rather than complain about her habits of…
  • Why I Owe a 9-Year-Old $100

    Dustin
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:22 am
    As a human race, we have a lot of disagreements. However, I think there are two things that everyone on earth, regardless of race, religion, politics and wealth, can agree upon: No one needed a fourth Indiana Jones movie Magic is the best thing ever I believe that if you’re good at magic, you’ll never have an enemy again. Just imagine if the President of the United States could do magic. During the State of the Union Address, he’d be talking about his policy, and the camera would pan around to Senators being crabby like normal. But then at the end, he pulls out a deck of cards and tells…
  • The Least Efficient Way to Make Money

    Dustin
    19 Sep 2014 | 10:41 am
    If you’re a criminal, stealing an ATM machine has to seem like the fastest way to make big bucks. The cash is right there for the taking behind a flimsy plastic door. How hard can it be? The answer: Way harder than it seems. If you need proof, just Google “ATM robbery gone wrong.” You’ll find ATM machines that remain firmly intact after being set on fire, run over and blown up. Thanks to an enterprising Florida man, we can now add another method to that list: repeatedly ramming the machine with a stolen forklift. Last week, Synovus Bank employees in Jacksonville, Florida arrived to…
 
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    Hipblow

  • Have You Ever Imagined Disney Characters On Instagram?

    HipBlow
    20 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    Have you ever imagined Disney characters on instagram? Italian ilustrator named Simona Bonafini, has represented pretty well this scene, taking selfies and commenting posts, take a look at these social bloggers from Disneyland...The post Have You Ever Imagined Disney Characters On Instagram? appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Have A Nerdgasm With These 23 Custom N64 Consoles

    HipBlow
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:30 am
    Are you an old school gamer? If you are then you sure remember how badass the N64 was, but after seeing this pictures you will wish that you had one of these custom N64 consoles instead of the classic black one...The post Have A Nerdgasm With These 23 Custom N64 Consoles appeared first on Hipblow.
  • This Is Houndstastic! The Basset Hound Greatest Moments

    HipBlow
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    Get your hanging skin and ears tied because you are about to see the basset hound greatest moments...The post This Is Houndstastic! The Basset Hound Greatest Moments appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Mom Teaches Cute Korean Baby Yebin A Life Lesson

    HipBlow
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:30 am
    For babies it's all peaches and cream. But as they are innocent creatures, we have to teach them that not everyone in the world has good intentions. Look how this mom teaches cute Korean baby Yebin a life lesson, about to deny any offers from strangers, really funny and adorable!...The post Mom Teaches Cute Korean Baby Yebin A Life Lesson appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Gamer Restores Galaga 60-in-1 Bringing It Back To Life

    HipBlow
    17 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    This gamer took on an outstanding DIY project and decided to restore an old Galaga 60-in-1 machine that was posted for sale on Craigslist. Look at these pictures depicting the restoration process of the vintage gaming machine...The post Gamer Restores Galaga 60-in-1 Bringing It Back To Life appeared first on Hipblow.
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • 19 Oct 2014 | 10:28 pm

    Tony Peyser
    19 Oct 2014 | 10:28 pm
    Tony Peyser lives with his wife and son in Altadena, California.
  • Not My Pair Of Shoes

    Myetcn
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:15 pm
    I put on a pair of shoes, Laced them twice, but got confused. I looked around for someone who Could have taken my pair of shoes. These shoes weren't red. They were not even thread. How could someone have misread And taken my pair of shoes? I could not wear these. Could not walk or talk or sneeze In these were not my jogging ease Where could be my pair of shoes? I promised myself I wouldn't, Again and again said i shouldn't, Didn't think I even could but I stepped in this pair of shoes. How marvelous a feeling From my toes up to the ceiling; I couldn't believe i could be reeling In another…
  • Can You Understand?

    InvisiblyVisible
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:07 pm
    I am human, undefined in my actions, inchoate in my words, and often misunderstood. Aimlessly struggling to find my place in a society that claims my best still isn't good. Trying to claw my way out of this abyss I'm in, still putting forth my best. But no matter what I do my goals are like the dreaded red laser that the cat could never catch. I unconsciously hurt those around me, even though it's my intention to make them proud. Wanting to constantly show them my light, but all I emit is a dark cloud. Attempting to stand tall with my head held high, putting up a facade painfully. Knowing…
  • Little Birds & The Power of Words

    typewriterkey
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    We all know about the power of words, of repeating things from little birds, of a passing remark that’s bit too mean, of a compliment on something you’ve seen, but do we take that knowledge and put it to use, or do we set it aside with some sort of excuse? Just remember a compliment can brighten a day, and a rude remark can darken it the same way. It takes five nice things to overpower one bad (a statistic that really should make people sad). So let’s change that- smile and compliment away, and I guarantee you, you’ll make somebody’s day. So put yourself out there, try it out, and…
  • Were you there?

    ElliottM
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:30 pm
    Were you there? Were you there when they crucified my God? Were you there when they crucified me? I was right beside him, hanging limb by limb, nailed right to the front of a tree. Tied down pierced side to side, so the whole world could see. Were you there when they crucified my God; were you there when they crucified me? Did you believe the uttermost brutality for such a kind soul that was whipped and hung up on Calvary for only trying to spread the word of the Lord and be the best that he could be? Were you there when they crucified my God; were you there when they crucified me? And no it…
 
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    Dubious Knowledge Institute

  • Flip it Good: 12 Spatula Facts

    dvanoss
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:35 pm
    THIS WEEKS’ TOPIC IS A COLUMN CHALLENGE; suggest yours here. It waits in your utensil drawer; flat, simple, waiting to scrape the teflon off your best Calphalon pan. The lowly spatula may not be as popular at the high school dance as the pie server or grilling tongs, but it does serve a purpose in its own, quiet, greasy way. The spatula derives its name from the Latin word spatha, meaning broadsword, which conjures up visions of Roman centurions clumsily flipping burgers with their swords at a pre-village-conquering tailgate party. The same Latin root also has similarities to the…
  • How to Wallpaper a Room in 8 Curse Words or Less

    dvanoss
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:00 am
    Anyone can paint a room, or a room and a carpet, or a room, carpet and dog, but it takes a special skill to enhance your decor with that unique, insoluble glue that only wallpaper can bring to your rug. Adding wallpaper is an easy way to add spice to a space, or, as we prefer to say, an easy way to an involuntary mental evaluation. You can take a room from dull to dashing, with a brief stop at Xanax, in a matter of hours, or even minutes, if you own a staple gun. Although it may seem intimidating, like performing brain surgery with gluey, sticky fingers, these simple tips can help anyone can…
  • The 5 Life Stages of Halloween

    dvanoss
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:40 pm
    Hear that? It’s the sound of Candy Manufacturer Workers punching time clocks because they have to work overtime to make more “Fun Size” Butterfingers for your kids to put in their plastic pumpkins! Which can only mean it’s Halloween, the worst time of year to be a diabetic or dental hygienist. Halloween History …it has become much cheaper to dole out a handful of Dum Dums rather than be dragged through an arduous lawsuit over smashed pumpkins and flaming dog doo.The tradition of going from door to door to receive food existed in Great Britain and Ireland in…
  • 15 Mildly Accurate Facts About Chocolate

    dvanoss
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:36 am
    The lure of chocolate has drawn mankind for centuries down its smooth, brown river of enticement, over its sweet, cocoa-flavored falls where, for a split second, we pause to bask in its unparalleled flavor, just before  smashing on its sharp, calorie-laden rocks below. Advertisers entice us with exciting, made up chocolate words such as “chocoriffic“, or “choctacular” or “chocsational” or “stupen-choco-dous”, some of which we, of course, made up, but which greedy advertisers will now probably steal. So what is this appeal that this simple…
  • 20 (Suspicious and Somewhat Useless) Facts About Wisconsin

    dvanoss
    22 Sep 2014 | 6:27 pm
    1 Official Motto: “Forward” 2 Unofficial Motto: “14% Easier To Get Into Than Czechoslovakia” 3 Wisconsin has 7,446 streams and rivers. Placed end to end, they would stretch a lot farther than whatever Minnesota has, you can bet that. 4 Wisconsin has a professional football team. If we say the name here, the comments section will melt into a pool of Velveeta-like tailgating football fervor. 5 The House on the Rock was designed and built in the 1940’s, and houses over 244 dead tourists trapped in the Infinity Room. 6 Wisconsin is nicknamed the Badger State because…
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • Not Even…

    ponyboy
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Watch this reporter get owned. The post Not Even… appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • It’s a Spooky Time of Year

    ponyboy
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:00 pm
    There really is a group of people in California that are dressing up as clowns and roaming the streets at night. They’re also carrying guns. The police haven’t been able to capture any of them yet…..I’m staying out of that town. The post It’s a Spooky Time of Year appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • One Day Fantasy Leagues

    ponyboy
    20 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    I’ve got something for you to check out if you’re a sports fan who isn’t quite into fantasy leagues for one reason or another but you love sports.  These are a couple of cool sites that I love and with the NHL season just firing up I’m on them all the time.  Fan Duel and Draft Kings are daily fantasy sports leagues where you pick your line up based on the teams playing that day only.  You are able to wager as little as $1 dollar per game or hundreds of dollars.  Whatever you prefer.  It’s so much fun.  You enter different leagues and play against other…
  • I Like These (32)

    ponyboy
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:30 am
    Wake up, it’s time to get the week going. I watched first two episodes of AHS: Freakshow this past weekend and so far it’s been pretty good. That clown is terrifying. The post I Like These (32) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • I Like These (33)

    ponyboy
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:00 am
    Think of it like this…in a couple weeks it will be Halloween, 3 weeks after that, it will be Thanksgiving, and 3 weeks after that it will be Christmas….Happy New Year! The post I Like These (33) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 4)

    Winston Chong
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:24 pm
      Too proud to beg,Too dumb to steal,Too shy to ask,Too stiff to learn,Too meek to reject, Too smart to admit any of that*****   I don't go into discussions about whether I see my proverbial cup as half-empty or half-full. Because I always make sure my cup is overflowing at all times...with ice-cold beer. When I'm at play, it will be quench my thirst. When I'm at work, it will be dumped on those idiots who step on my toes, which I constantly need refilling! ***** A senior and longtime middle-aged female colleague had this weird notion that I'm still single and wanted to intro a…
  • Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

    Winston Chong
    6 Oct 2014 | 7:35 am
    1. Porn: there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.  2. Personal porn: you can have a ball of a time elsewhere ogling at female bloggers slash model slash actress slash race queen providing revealing selfies. No need for this nerd to pimp himself.3. Food porn: I don't own a DSLR nor do I get to eat for free. iEat, iBurp, iShit. 4. Word porn: I find scolding jerks using vulgarities or genitalia a lazy cop-out. There are far more flowery words to choose to insult someone with greater effect.5. Social porn: no inspirational quotes or…
  • 9 things I learnt in Seoul after 6 days or how I 'start to stop the keeping warm jar'

    Winston Chong
    2 Oct 2014 | 7:16 am
    I think Japanese are friendlier.1. Despite the plethora of skin-care boutiques, not all Koreans are blessed with glowing complexion, and it makes you wonder about the effectiveness of those face masks.2. Real Koreans have single eyelid. Those with double eyelids are happy customers from the dozens of cosmetic surgery clinics that lined the boulevards.3. There are few eye candies that caught my eyes. The cosmetically enhanced ones are already in K-Pop bands, TV dramas and movies. Tourists can see the real Koreans by visiting the country.4. Major shopping districts will have multiple shops from…
  • Stockholm Syndrome

    Winston Chong
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:40 pm
    Stockholm Syndrome perfectly describes how fans of a certain fruit company ignored the superb offerings from rival plantations for years and willingly forgive this company when it finally listens to their pleas and gives them a bigger fruit today. I'll not take a bite from this fruit since I have the entire orchard to choose from.
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 3)

    Winston Chong
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:47 am
    While guys like me approaching the big Four-Oh aspire to be a 'hunkle' (Hunky uncle), most likely I'll just turn out to be a 'funkle' (fatty uncle). But since I don't have any nephews or nieces, technically I wouldn't get to be a bona fide uncle, so I'll just go straight from being a nerd to Dirty Old Man.*****I know that Facebook/personal blog can be a depressing place where you hate-read your friend's updates on their perfect life and their even more perfect meal. Allow me to reveal some nasty things about myself so you will feel better about yourself. I'm a bad liar, a horrible MCP and I'm…
 
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    Funny Dating & Relationship Stories & Advice - Melanys Guydlines

  • Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen

    Melany
    15 Oct 2014 | 7:55 am
    Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from... Continue Reading
  • Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

    Melany
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:06 pm
    So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails... Continue Reading
  • Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

    Melany
    9 Oct 2014 | 1:32 pm
    I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that... Continue Reading
  • Win A Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps

    Melany
    6 Oct 2014 | 6:34 am
    Ella…Ella…Ella…..Read this entire post to find out how you can win one of the coolest contests yet! Yes. How amazing is this? Can you believe that I worked in the music business for ten years and never went to a Coachella Festival! What is wrong with me? Can you say workaholic? And now….I have a chance to offer you guys the opportunity to go! Let me explain the Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps to you. REWIND. So, last month, Lenovo and Microsoft teamed up with Timbaland (love and yes I am a rocker but love him) to create... Continue Reading
  • Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

    Melany
    1 Oct 2014 | 6:46 am
    You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both... Continue Reading
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    The University of the Bleeding Obvious

  • Robo-Assist

    19 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    Following the installation of self-service checkouts some years ago, a store in North Shields has decided to go one stage further.
  • MOLLUSC

    17 Oct 2014 | 1:32 am
    The DWP's new mail nobbling initiative
  • The Problem with Fairies

    16 Oct 2014 | 12:26 am
    There's a problem at the bottom of the garden
  • Compression Trousers

    14 Oct 2014 | 4:12 pm
    A leading high street retailer has launched a new range of trousers for people whose legs are put under pressure by the stresses and strains of modern living.
  • Lengths

    14 Oct 2014 | 12:52 am
    New European rules came into effect this month forcing manufacturers of spaghetti to limit its length to 26 centimetres.
 
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • The Shortsighted Edition

    themidside
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:51 am
    The Walking Dead is back and we couldn’t be happier with the direction we see it headed in. Of course, we’re only able to see down the road to DC because we work hard not to be shortsighted. Elliot also returns with a vengeance, calling out gays for their behavior and defending his love for procedurals.
  • The Handguns Edition

    themidside
    6 Oct 2014 | 11:38 pm
    What if you could 3D print handguns? What if you could play in a band called Handguns? We answer these questions and more as Handguns guitarist Brandon Pagano takes a break from tour for A Midside Conversation about why he loves creating pop punk music. We also remind everyone involved in the NFL why it’s stupid to piss off Tom Brady (but ask them to keep doing it because we love watching the results).
  • The Ish Edition

    themidside
    30 Sep 2014 | 12:33 am
    Be careful what you ish for or you’ll end up with episodes like this one. We discuss the three-breast duping and the attack on Emma Watson before reviewing the series premieres of Scorpion, Gotham, and Blackish. Our fixation on LOST also returns as we ponder its legacy. No, we haven’t changed our minds about Season 6. Not even a little-ish.
  • The 2014 Fall TV Premiere Week Edition

    themidside
    22 Sep 2014 | 10:43 pm
    Rejoice. Television season has returned. We discuss which shows we’ll be watching and which we’ll be reviewing. We also tackle some really strange issues like three-boobed women and Meth Monks. And all the while, Justin tries to make hippiecrite happen.
  • The Constant Companion Edition

    themidside
    15 Sep 2014 | 11:46 pm
    We all have our companions. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s religion. Maybe it’s the memory of Ray Rice knocking you out in an elevator. In this episode, we discuss the things that stick with us. We also steal each other’s jokes. PENNY!
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    Gifking-blog

  • Enjoy a cheerful Life with Funny Cartoon Images

    Kumiko kurosu
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:35 am
    Can you make someone happy? Let him roll all over on the floor as he keeps on laughing constantly. Well, such desired skills are often practiced by cartoonist, comedians, jokers of circus. These people are professionals who make their living out of laughter, but now the time has arrived for the common man to make his family, friends and loved one hilariously happy. Especially the children at home requires special treatment from you as they are the most difficult to please. They’re swinging moods and playfulness often makes it difficult to understand them clearly. However; the kids have…
  • Elevate your Drab Mood with Really Funny Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    8 Sep 2014 | 3:02 am
    Nowadays the main topic of discussion among everyone is on how to keep stress at bay. Newspaper, magazines, TV, movies every kind of media is trying their level best to create awareness on the very bad effects of stress and diseases related to it. Top physicians are prescribing good diet, exercise and of course most important of all the pill of good laughter. In the busy schedule of everyday one tries to find the easiest way to gain happiness and it could be attained through really funny pictures showcased with medium of online funny web sites. The contemporary sector of fun has a new…
  • Funny GIF Images The Original Source Of Laughter

    Kumiko kurosu
    11 Jun 2014 | 4:08 am
    An emotion defines human, animals and every other living thing. Well the whole world experience’s emotions of nature too along with rain, earthquake, Tsunami and like. Emotions are a way to show what we are feeling inside. The common sentiments like anger, sorrow, laughter, disgust and others are easily captured under our eyes.  Yet from time to time we all feel deprived of a sentiment called laughter. It is a widely accepted gesture that bond people together, spreads brotherhood, despite geological borders. So to keep it alive we get help from several creative sources like jokes,…
  • Funny Crazy Picture Gallery A Complete Illustration Of Universal Brotherhood

    Kumiko kurosu
    6 Jun 2014 | 9:44 pm
    Are you getting upset easily, quite often? Feelings lost and depressed then cheer up as the amazing world of internet is available to make you happy as a small baby. It can keep you entertained along with its various entertaining videos, news and much more. Practice watching these things as famous comic artist Charlie Chaplin had once said in his interview that “laughter is more precious compared to all the wealth of the world”. So keeping that in mind today various outstanding web are vying with each other to acquire a huge and memorable collection of funny picture gallery which keep…
  • The Many Aspects Of Funny Animated Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    22 May 2014 | 12:37 am
    The art of storytelling has been a part of every countries tradition. Good parenting believes in the aspect too. The characterization of Tom and Jerry, Garfield, Donald duck, Mickey mouse, Minnie, Scooby Doo the dog, Cbeebies and Teletubbies and Tinker Bell, Carousel and in numerous are created to please the  mind of young and old alike. These funny animated pictures create a moment of unstoppable laughter as one views it. Most likely a child connects to these pictures more than an adult because he or she finds it more lovable, easy to get glued to it and to feel a feeling of comfort,…
 
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    CheesyPeasy

  • Geee… Thanks Gandalf

    cheesypeasy
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:05 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Geee… Thanks Gandalf appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Gamers Understand

    cheesypeasy
    16 Oct 2014 | 1:39 am
    [source] Likes(1)Dislikes(0)The post Gamers Understand appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Parking Like a Boss

    cheesypeasy
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:50 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Parking Like a Boss appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • It Has to be Alive

    cheesypeasy
    14 Oct 2014 | 1:15 pm
    [source] Likes(1)Dislikes(0)The post It Has to be Alive appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Jumping Off a Fence is Not as Easy as it Seems

    cheesypeasy
    14 Oct 2014 | 10:08 am
    [source] Likes(1)Dislikes(0)The post Jumping Off a Fence is Not as Easy as it Seems appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
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    Funny Jokes, Cartoons, Quotes | Short Real Inspiring Stories

  • “Stupidity is friendship with misunderstanding.”- #Jokes, #Cartoons & #Quotes on Idiot’s

    Malenadu
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:29 am
    A man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Wet Hair, Comic Small Story with stupid husband, Superb Awesome article on shampoo, Interesting Crazy Incident while taking bath, Misunderstanding Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Stupid Chickens
  • “Caring always does not mean Sympathy.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Queue

    Malenadu
    18 Oct 2014 | 11:17 pm
    On her way back from the concession stand, Sandra asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Sandra nodded.  "Oh, good.  Then this is my row." Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Sympathy, Comic Small Story on Knowing, Superb Awesome article in Concession Stand, Interesting Crazy Incident while Standing, Caring Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Iphone
  • “Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Bachelors

    Malenadu
    15 Oct 2014 | 1:16 pm
    Two bachelors were talking. One said to the other, "I got a cookbook the other day, but I can't do any of the recipes." "Why? Are they too difficult?" asked the second. "No," the first replied. "It's just that they all start with the same thing: 'Take a clean dish...'" Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Dish, Comic Small Story on laziness, Superb Awesome article in kitchen, Interesting Crazy Incident while cooking, Knowing Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Kids
  • “Women have a boon of strength in every ability but without Reasoning.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Wife

    Malenadu
    14 Oct 2014 | 10:57 pm
    WoMen never listen properly:-Wife: I lost my keys again!Husband: It's in your Jeans.Wife: Don't drag my family into this....Related Keywords- Very Funny Jokes on Strength, Comic Small Story on Women, Superb Awesome article in home, Interesting Crazy Incident while finding keys, Reasoning Quotes, Cartoon Jokes on Listening
  • “There is no Courage without Fear.”- Jokes, Cartoons & Quotes on Fearless

    Malenadu
    30 Sep 2014 | 11:31 pm
    Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain. I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted. To her delight, we rode it twice. The next year we returned to Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain. As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed. "Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go." I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time. She…
 
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    14 Oct 2014 | 5:22 am
    As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]
  • Good Mood Food: We Could All Use Some

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    7 Oct 2014 | 5:31 am
    Let me take a WILD guess as to what happened to you this morning… You woke up after pressing snooze for about 45 minutes. Realizing that you’re going to be extremely late, you wrestle with your TRUE love (your lush pillow but of course) only to fall flat on your face thanks to your bed pulling a “piledriver” on you… A move that’s even banned from the WWE. After regaining consciousness, you dizzily race on over to your “trusty” liquid energizer (your [Read On!]
  • Joan Rivers: A Toast To You!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    30 Sep 2014 | 5:22 am
    Joan Rivers and I met a couple of times when I worked at E! Entertainment. “THE TWINS” circa Feb 2011! OMG am I wearing… GASP: HEELS? Check us out now MAKING POP TARTS! I’m still shocked she never once told me that my outfits look like regurgitated remnants of a broken garbage disposal. The dress code in the GiGi Eats kitchen! She didn’t even say ANYTHING about my Adidas sandals that have been surgically fused to my feet for the past 6 years. I wonder how many plastic [Read On!]
  • Recipe Redux: Get Chip-Faced with Chipkins

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    22 Sep 2014 | 5:29 am
    Dehydration is never a good look in Hollywood…. Can you guess the fashion designer? I could have posted another photo of Tara Reid, but no need to “rib” on her again!   Or anywhere for that matter…  Is this normal? Cat people – weigh in…   EXCEPT for… THE KITCHEN! Uh, please do take a minute to check out this sensual food pornography…   Today I am serving up dehydrated pumpkin chips, or what I like to call CHIPKINS! It’s [Read On!]
  • Gobble Up These Turbutkles!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    16 Sep 2014 | 5:22 am
    Do you suffer from, Brumotactillophobia or…  In other words: do you FLIP OUT if any food on your plate touches? Well then… The following (and then some) are not your friends: Chili Fruit at the Bottom Yogurt Katy Perry Scrambled Eggs Tacos Stir Fries Nicki Minaj Anything Made on The Food Network Channel Thanksgiving Dinner My Refrigerator  And…  Turbutkle Bites Phew! It’s a good thing I don’t have such a phobia or else I would DEFINITELY starve to death… I would never dance like a stripper [Read On!]
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    PMSLweb

  • Monday sarcasm – When the circumstances require radical lolz

    FROZ
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:46 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersMonday sarcasm – Aaaand the weekend is over. A very harsh but undeniable reality, which requires the use of the most refined and heavy artillery you have in your possession: Sarcasm. Indeed, in order to make it through Monday-the-terrible, no half-measures can be accepted, and kick-butt is the name of the game! Wishing you a wonderful new week and a cheeky PMSLweb moment! This post Monday sarcasm – When the circumstances require radical lolz appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • Saturday LOL – Let us enhance your weekend

    FROZ
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:37 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersSaturday LOL – For all those of you who have fully or partially decided to dedicate your weekend to procrastinating, please find bellow our selection of Saturday funnies. Sometimes the best weekends turn out to be those where nothing specific was planned, but nonetheless, giggles should always be part of the equation. Wishing you a cheerful PMSLweb moment! This post Saturday LOL – Let us enhance your weekend appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • Gross pictures – WTF did I just see

    FROZ
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:52 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersGross pictures – While the internet turns out to be an inexhaustible source of knowledge and a major opening on the world on a daily basis, undeniably, it also has enabled us to discover a certain amount of “other” facts and oddities which – let’s be honest – we probably could gladly have done without. Before you decide to go through the following post, please be aware that some of the visuals which feature in the latter could be qualified as “disturbing” by certain viewers, so if in doubt you may wish to stay…
  • Happy Thursday funnies – Time to practice for the WE

    FROZ
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:46 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersHappy Thursday funnies – This time tomorrow go figure where our reckless minds will have decided to wander off to. Just right now mind you, it’s probably better if that specific piece of info remains in the dark. In the meantime, let’s treat ourselves to the latest collection of funnies shall we? Wishing you a silly PMSLweb moment! This post Happy Thursday funnies – Time to practice for the WE appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • Amusing Hump day – Cheeky Wednesday funnies

    FROZ
    15 Oct 2014 | 4:35 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersAmusing Hump day – If ever you’re in need for a wicked giggle or two, why not take a minute to go through our latest midweek collection of devilish goodies. Brash, bold and saucy, are what tends to sum up the latter, so you’ve been warned. Wishing you a ballsy PMSLweb moment! This post Amusing Hump day – Cheeky Wednesday funnies appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
 
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    dailypotatonews.com

  • ISIS apologizes to US, pushes for 17.5th Peace Amendment

    dailypotatonews
    23 Sep 2014 | 10:50 am
    Due to the recent US airstrikes against the Islamic State of Iraq and Al Sham (ISIS), terrorist leader, Abu al-Baghdadi, recently apologized to the United States with an official apology letter and a fruitcake. Although Obama has yet to speak about this apology,... Read More ›
  • Archaeologist finds fossils dating back at least 40 years

    dailypotatonews
    22 Sep 2014 | 11:36 am
    Archeologist Justin Cramer recently discovered a set of fossils which were reportedly not really underground, but sitting under a pile of leaves in his backyard. Although Cramer is unable to identify the origin of these fossils, he believes that they are... Read More ›
  • Teenagers and texting: A guide for parents

    dailypotatonews
    19 Sep 2014 | 7:23 pm
    As depicted in the image above, parents know very little when it comes to their children and texting. In order to help better understand your children, please refer to the following information about texting: Texting has become the main source of... Read More ›
  • Catcher keeps signaling ‘I love you’ to pitcher

    dailypotatonews
    17 Sep 2014 | 1:31 pm
    As stated by The Onion, Orioles rookie catcher, Caleb Joseph, continues to signal “I love you” to pitcher Chris Tillman. Joseph told sources, “I just love him so much and I get to tell him like 200 times a game.... Read More ›
  • Man jogging listens to Brittany Spears just a little too loud

    dailypotatonews
    16 Sep 2014 | 8:53 pm
    Local jogging enthusiast, Brendon Talbert, was reportedly listening to music on his iPod while jogging earlier today at volume so high that others could clearly hear his taste in music. One jogger stated, “That guy must really love Brittany Spears. Every... Read More ›
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    WordPress.com News

  • New Theme: Penscratch

    Caroline Moore
    16 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    Today we have a brand new free theme especially for writers and bloggers! Penscratch Penscratch is a clean, sophisticated theme for sharing your writing. Whether you’re working on an analytical essay, an anthology of poems, or a piece of long-form fiction, Penscratch makes for a pleasant reading and writing experience all around. Choose between a one- or two-column layout by adding widgets, add links to your favorite social networks, customize your home on the web with a site logo or header image, or add fancy pull quotes throughout your content. Penscratch is also responsive, ensuring…
  • Starting Next Week: Blogging 201

    Ben Huberman
    15 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    Blogging 201: Branding and Growth starts Monday, October 20. If you’re a recent alum of Blogging 101 looking to build on the skills you’ve developed so far, or a blogger looking for new ways to grow your site and its audience, this is the course for you. What will Blogging 201 cover? We’ll introduce tools to increase your traffic within WordPress.com as well as through other platforms, discuss ways to develop a coherent, effective brand for your blog, and show how to use your archives and your site’s stats to build your readership. During this two-week course…
  • Around the World in Nine Photos

    Krista
    14 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    Do you love stories from around the world? Check out the work of the following nine photographers on WordPress.com and allow your imagination to take you away… Nathanael‘s monochrome photo of the Star Lite Motel in Mt. Airy, North Carolina, conjures images of wayward romances and clandestine meetings. We loved the marquee’s message, “Forgive and forget its human to err.” (sic) which offers an almost haunting absolution. For more of Nathanael’s work, check out his blog, G’Nat’s Eye View. Photo by P. Nathanael Gough The image below, by UK…
  • Add Gmail, Calendar, and Drive to Your Site

    Min Wei
    13 Oct 2014 | 11:00 am
    The content you publish on your site is the result of a lot of behind-the-scenes activity — and we’re not talking only about drafting posts and pages. Emails, meetings and events, documents and spreadsheets: as business owners and publishers you have a lot to juggle. We’re excited to announce that we’ve teamed up with Google to offer our users the incredible power of Google Apps for Work right in their WordPress.com dashboards. A powerful suite of tools With the Google Apps for Work integration you’ll be able to set up your own custom email address based on your…
  • Back to Blogging: Ten Themes to Inspire You Right Now

    Cheri Lucas Rowlands
    10 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    Carving out your very own corner on the web is important to you. You may be a brand-new user on WordPress.com — if so, welcome! — or a veteran blogger returning to an old habit. Recently on the Verge, Lockhart Steele, the editorial director of Vox Media, talked about getting back to blogging. On a noisy internet with many platforms, some are bringing their blogs back from the dead and reclaiming their personal turf. But for me, the web ecosystem will always be bloggy at its core. I’m looking forward to being a part of it again myself. – Lockhart Steele No matter…
 
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    Humoropedia

  • Dirt Devil Definition

    Roman Marshanski
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
    Dirt Devil: vacuum cleaner that cleans like a devil: it does not clean shit, so you cannot help using devil’s read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com
  • Disability Has Not Stopped This Guy From Robbing A Store

    Roman Marshanski
    18 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
    This incident has once again shown hat disability – such as being bound in a wheelchair – is no hindrance read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com
  • If Each of The Simpsons’ Characters Became The President

    Roman Marshanski
    17 Oct 2014 | 11:59 pm
    Did you watch too many Simpsons’ episodes? If you answered ‘that’s impossible to do’, continue reading this article. Otherwise, go read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com
  • This New US Measure Will Give Israel More Money Than Ever

    Clever Cleverinski
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:05 pm
    You may know the extent to which US government supports Israel. What you don’t know, is the secret measure that read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com
  • Why Women Are Better Navigators Than Men

    Roman Marshanski
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:55 pm
    Men often say that women cannot read maps. According to a recent study, this is false. Neither men nor women read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com
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    I Hate Working In Retail

  • The 36 People You See at Every Supermarket

    Mbeddau
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:33 pm
    Going to a supermarket in this day and age can be a confusing endeavor — all manner of new foods and food groups keep popping up to confuse you, and the women are impervious to flirtation (usually). Add to this the fact that the aisles are almost always filled with a cast of characters that rivals the best-written sitcoms, and you’ve got a recipe for mass hysteria. So, to help you navigate more efficiently from the greeter to the totally unpopulated self-checkout line, here’s a list of all the people you’ll see during your next visit. Twenty-Something Suddenly…
  • 10 TYPES OF CUSTOMERS YOU MEET WHILE WORKING IN THE WHOLE FOODS BAKERY

    Mbeddau
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:36 pm
    There were a great many things that I enjoyed about working at Whole Foods, particularly in the bakery — not least of all the enthusiastic parents and excited kids, the repeat customers who considered me and my coworkers a sort of tangential social circle, and anyone who was psyched as fuck to get a free cookie (I was profligate with the free cookies). However, because the store markets itself as if it is necessarily moral and responsible to shop there, it also necessarily comes along with some very colorful personalities. I think that some of the people who shopped in the bakery,…
  • 50 THINGS YOUR BARISTA WANTS YOU TO KNOW

    Mbeddau
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:03 pm
    If you’ve ever worked in a coffee shop, you know it can be a stressful, crazy, demanding job. You spend all day dealing with cranky customers, getting chocolate syrup in your hair, pouring mugs of boiling milk, trying to keep your cool when the espresso machine breaks during a rush, and going home smelling like coffee beans–all for minimum wage. I reached out to baristas who work for international coffee chains and artsy little coffeehouses (and everywhere in between), and asked them one question: “What do you wish you could tell everyone who walks into your coffee shop?” Here is what…
  • Here’s the Plush Horse Fucked by the Walmart Horse Fucker

    Mbeddau
    18 Oct 2014 | 10:22 am
    Yesterday, we brought you the story of Sean Johnson, a 19-year-old Floridian who was caught taking a stuffed horse off of a shelf at Walmart, masturbating with it in the bedding department, then returning it, covered in semen, to the shelf. Today, police released a photo of his equine paramour. Good-looking stuffed horse! Nicely done, Sean. We’ve also learned a few more details about Johnson’s afternoon of passion. A report from a Brooksville, Fla., police officer, for instance, contains the tidbit that Johnson utilized “short fast movements” to bring himself to…
  • 9 Reasons We Should Abolish Tipping, Once And For All

    Mbeddau
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:02 am
    Tipping is a strange, self-defeating phenomenon. The practice as we know it today has come to negate the very reason it exists: What started out as a reward for exceptional service has now become compulsory. “Tipping starts with people wanting to be generous, or to show off, but then it becomes something where people just do it because it’s expected of them,” says Michael Lynn, a professor of consumer behavior and marketing at Cornell University who has written more than 50 research papers on tipping. When we tip, we are essentially buying the right to avoid disapproval and…
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    absrdCOMEDY

  • absrdCOMEDY’s #IAmRevealingThat via #SinfestSunday: The Top Picks

    Jorschach's Journal
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:17 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor #SinfestSunday (@sundaysinfest) is Sunday’s hashtag place to be hosted by @Jorschach and @nerdgangbang! This was quite possibly one of the most difficult games we’ve had to choose a Top 10 from. So many folks came out, opened up and had a blast with it. If we could do a top 80 or something it would be SO MUCH EASIER! Thank you ALL for playing and we hope to see you for our next #SinfestSunday. xoxo #IAmRevealingThat I suffer from premature ejacula…I'm done. — Joe Messina (@joemessin) October 20, 2014 #IAmRevealingThat I use to watch…
  • @TheHashtagGame Picks The Top #RejectedStarTrekAles Tweets

    @TheHashtagGame hosted by @FastLaugh
    20 Oct 2014 | 3:52 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor So many great tweets for @TorontoDandies #RejectedStarTrekAles. Here’s a sudsy pint of our favorites… Picardi and Soda #RejectedStarTrekAles — Mitch Wertlieb (@mwertlieb) October 18, 2014 Jamaharon on the Beach. #RejectedStarTrekAles — Nicholas Lewis (@NicLewis) October 18, 2014 Romulan and coke #RejectedStarTrekAles — Steve Rand (@steverand616) October 18, 2014 Scotty's Kilt Lifter #RejectedStarTrekAles — Chalupa (@Chahloopah) October 18, 2014 #RejectedStarTrekAles Old Spockled Hen — Giles Graham-Brown (@gilesfgb)…
  • Canadians Keeping Up With the Ebola Joneses

    Taylor Steele
    20 Oct 2014 | 3:48 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor OTTAWA, CANADA – Monday, Canadian scientists announced the commencement of Polar bear testing of an experimental, organic, vegan, Canadian-made Ebola vaccine. The federal court is optimistic the tests will soon expand to the southern waters of Africa, for testing on Penguins. Health Minister Rona Ambrose said the launch of the vaccine’s first clinical trial was a promising step in the global campaign to vaccinate citizens of developed countries. Twenty vials of the vaccine were sent to Washington, D.C.’s Walter Reed Army Institute of Research for…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #TheyArrestedMeFor via SupercaliTagalistic Saturdays: The Top Picks

    Josh Garrison
    19 Oct 2014 | 12:47 pm
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor SupercaliTagalistic Saturdays is the hashtag place to be brought to you by “Hashtaggers without Borders” @Garrison80Josh and @Ewizubef and @HoaryCliches! Saturday was recently rocked by #TheyArrestedMeFor… Here are the top picks: #TheyArrestedMeFor taking my grandmother to dinner. Granted, she died 15 years ago, and I had to dig her up first.. — Kristen H (@kristenhuff300) October 19, 2014 #TheyArrestedMeFor setting up hobo AND cock fights at abandoned Blockbusters. Called it HOBOCOCK… Like ROBOCOP? Get it? — ChristopheRrrr…
  • This Week In absrdNEWS: Episode Two

    Jeff Dwoskin
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:01 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Hilarious Comics Take On The News Of The Day This weeks episode of ‘This Week In @absrdNEWS’, we discuss Pluto is a planet again, Wisconsin drivers have sex in a cop car, man with gun is robbed at gunpoint by man in flip flops. Starring (in order of appearance): Samantha Rager @sgrager Mike Stanley @mikestanley1 Matt McClowry @mattmcclowry Darnell Anderson @dietblaksupreme Lauren Uchalik @loyooch Video pre- and post-production, editing, etc – Make this Detroit productions is a premier video service that offers quality video for all different…
 
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    Peak Perspective

  • This is No Laughing “Matter”

    peakperspective
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:36 pm
    Two weeks later there are seventeen staples. That’s the punch line of this joke. Except, it ended up being much more of a punch in the gut, than a good giggle. Still, as with every adventure I experience, there is a constant narrative running in my mind. I cannot stop it. I share it with […]
  • At Your Service, Madam!

    peakperspective
    11 Oct 2014 | 8:09 pm
    Welcome to In A Jiffy Internet! You’ve reached repair services. For English, please stay on the line—para Espanol oprima nueve. Tap. Tap. Tap. I have your phone number as 988-042-1414. If you’re calling about the account for that number, say yes, or press one. Otherwise, say no, or press two. Yes. Sorry. I didn’t hear […]
  • In the Heat of the Moment

    peakperspective
    4 Oct 2014 | 7:41 pm
    There are moments when you feel the stars align and the gods have smiled down upon you, and then there are the moments when you’re actually awake.   This week has been an exercise in staying off the “She’s gone postal” bulletin. I’m sure it’s not been pleasant for anyone around me, despite my epic […]
  • I Love You For Sentimental Reasons

    peakperspective
    27 Sep 2014 | 7:26 pm
    I am a saver. On the border of a hoarder, but still safely on the saver side. Regardless, it’s clear some culling needs to be done. It’s best to have someone stern and unattached help you with this project because there’s nothing more clarifying than having that somebody snatch the third identical teapot from your gooey […]
  • Getting a Peace of My Mind

    peakperspective
    20 Sep 2014 | 8:14 pm
    Over the last few years, one of the big differences I noticed between myself and my kids was the way we worked. And by work I mean inviting and finding success with brain function, not our skill level with bow and arrow, or our ability to use a circular saw. Those rougher, physical arts I […]
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    Robot Butt

  • The ’90s Are Back, Now With Push Notifications

    The Robot Butt Staff
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:10 pm
    With Monica Lewinsky on Twitter, we took a look at ten other 90’s hits that could use a modern update.1. Save time at the store by already knowing what you’re going to buy. Check out the new Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wardrobe app! Instantly add your favorite Fresh Prince outfits to a picture of you and know right away if you’re a Carlton or a Will. 2. Don’t wait a minute too long with the new Creepy Crawlers Countdown app. It lets you know exactly when your creepy crawlers are done setting so you don’t miss a minute of fun! 3. Feel like you’re a…
  • Adventures In Horror: ‘The Pact’

    Tim Gaydos
    19 Oct 2014 | 4:47 am
    In which Tim spends the month watching horror movies on Netflix and recaps them for your pleasure.Biker Chick comes home for her awful mother’s funeral to find her sister has disappeared.  “Oh well, whateves,” she says.  “She’s probably just getting high.”  Then her cousin disappears, and Biker Chick finds herself fighting invisible forces and stabs a wall.  Her GPS becomes haunted, and starts her on a digital scavenger hunt to uncover a Spooky Secret.  Fortunately, Biker Chick went to high school with a medium who buys her makeup at Hot Topic.  She…
  • 100 Words or Less: On Airline Pilots

    Steve DiMatteo
    18 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    On a recent flight, the pilot came on to say something, but no one could make out what it was. Garbled and low, it sounded like gibberish.It really could have been anything.“Attention passengers, I’m going to be taking off my pants in a minute to vigorously insert my penis inside this honey-baked ham. I won’t be paying much attention to the flight, so there should be some slight turbulence.”Sure enough, there was plenty of turbulence, and as the plane rocked back and forth, I couldn’t help but wonder if the pilot found what he was looking for.
  • Things You Should Know About: The Fathers of Monsters

    Linton D. Lewis
    17 Oct 2014 | 12:09 pm
    Here’s the deal:Biopics rarely do it for me. I’ve found most either play too fast and loose with the truth, disrespecting their subjects, or are too slavish to the truth, creating a pretty boring point A to point B type of story. A better third option as I see it is when a biopic takes the truth and elevates it, making a person’s life represent something meaningful. You could make a biopic of Mr. Clean for God’s sake as long as his life was representative of our fight against decay and entropy or something.Tim Burton’s Ed Wood did an excellent job of finding this meaning. The story…
  • ‘Terminator: Genisys’ Can Go Suck a Lemon

    Steve DiMatteo
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:37 am
    A completely unnecessary fifth Terminator movie is coming out, which should already make you skeptical that it will be a giant turd, even with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s return. But because the first three – that’s right, the first three – are such good movies, there has been a glimmer of hope that Terminator: Genisys will at least be somewhat acceptable.But that glimmer is fading quickly now that it’s all but guaranteed that it will be PG-13.The first three Terminator movies were all rated R, which of course has held a different meaning through the years.
 
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    Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News

  • Turnip For What?

    Cactopia
    15 Oct 2014 | 1:59 am
    I’m sorry, can someone please explain what “Turnip For What?” means? Michelle Obama send the nation a cryptic message. What could it mean? The post Turnip For What? appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • Random Crap That Makes Me Laugh

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:47 pm
    Here are a bunch of random images I’ve been holding on to. No real category, just funny crap that makes me laugh The post Random Crap That Makes Me Laugh appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • !!RENEGADE!! – A Short Film

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Adventure, Comedy, Romance, !!RENEGADE!! I think I was about 10 seconds into this trailer when I knew I would be watching this a few times over. I hate to compare new films to older ones but it definitely had that campy feel of Army of Darkness combined with a little Princess Bride, but still has it’s own style within the pulp genre. Thanks to Michael Cavanaugh for sending this over, it made me want to run outside in my boxers and yell !!RENEGADE!! !!RENEGADE!! from michael cavanaugh on Vimeo. Related articles across the web !!RENEGADE!! – ACTION, ADVENTURE, ROMANCE all here for…
  • Funny Yet Terrifying Scarecrow Prank

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:13 pm
    How could this cute and silly scarecrow prank scare people so bad? Under that mask is one terrifying scarecrow! The post Funny Yet Terrifying Scarecrow Prank appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • Awesome Reasons To Break Up With Someone

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    Breakups that were for funny reasons We’ve all been with that person who seemed perfect until one little thing set us off and you knew there was no way you could spend the rest of your life with them. If you want to feel completely normal, check out some reasons other people have ended a relationship. The post Awesome Reasons To Break Up With Someone appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
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    Exaggerated Reality

  • Homemade Choose-Your-Own-Adventures — Read mine, and die eating cereal

    Exaggerated Reality
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:21 am
    On the topic of terrible foods, I made my own (humorous) Choose-Your-Own-Adventure for my brother on his birthday, and if you choose the wrong breakfast to eat you may die. You can click here to read it.  On a similar note, some time late last year I started a similar project with my younger brother Caleb. However, this […]
  • Penance for our Sins

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Oct 2014 | 8:45 am
    You might be surprised to see a post titled “Penance for our Sins” after my post the other day where I mentioned I didn’t want to write posts  about depressing life problems. Never fear. This post is only about lunch. Yes, lunch. We had a lot of leftovers from a party we recently hosted and a good portion of them […]
  • I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it

    Exaggerated Reality
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:47 am
    Yes. I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it. (No, not this one) It sounds like the start (and finish) of a dumb joke, but it’s true. I have photographic evidence. As you can see, I started the post in 2012. That’s over two years of procrastination. Why didn’t I ever finish it? All […]
  • Marie Fishing

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:20 am
    Colorized and restored in photoshop.
  • Website Design: Arcade Cabinet

    Exaggerated Reality
    11 Jun 2014 | 1:36 pm
    Designed this website for a friend using Photoshop.   I’ve made a few minor changes since, but for the most part it’s finished.
 
  • add this feed to my.Alltop

    Pranks - WTFisdit

  • Dirt Bike Stunt Jump | Evel Knievel In Training

    admin
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    This crazy dirt biker performs a stunt where he removes his hands from the handlebars before landing off his jump!<br />Original Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EV3Iu8hSfoSUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Double Dirt Bike Fail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T2nsGScfYYDirt Bike Crash Near Miss:…
  • When F**king With People Goes Wrong 2

    admin
    19 Oct 2014 | 4:15 pm
    HELP ME OUT LETS REACH 10,000 LIKES ON THIS BITCH. i’m sick as fuck and i wanted to leave you guys some FIRE, so i dropped THIS. this is easily one of the funniest montages i have ever made, ya boyyyy. i love u guys follow me on twitter : https://twitter.com/JosephACostello i post alot of selfies on instagram : @sloppyjoeee snapchat : sloppyjoeee Follow me on iFunny : JosephACostello facebook : https://www.facebook.com/RealJosephCostello for bussiness contact email : josephcmusic@hotmail.com
  • Squirt the Monkey Showers for Talk Show | Paid in Bananas

    admin
    19 Oct 2014 | 3:00 pm
    Prepping for a talk show, Squirt the monkey takes a shower to make sure she smells good!SUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Truck Bed Car Wash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx1AeVDS0SwMonkey Loves Mango: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxErEl6MRfU JukinVideo is the leading viral video community channel dedicated to showcasing the hottest…
  • Pokemon Art Chalk Drawing | Gotta Catch Em All

    admin
    19 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    These two artists decide to spruce up the place by drawing out some Pokemon. Which ones do you spot in here? Original Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT1LXJm0uZoSUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Amazing Hidden Portrait: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v6g9hNeS_8Explosion Building Implosion:…
  • Captain America vs. Iron Man – MOVIE FIGHTS!

    admin
    19 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    Download the audio version on iTunes! ►► http://bit.ly/MovieFightsItunesSubscribe to the Schmoes Know Network channel ►► <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/user/SchmoesKnowPodcast” target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow”>http://www.youtube.com/user/SchmoesKnowPodcastPick your FIGHT below! ▼▼ Welcome to Screen Junkies’ MOVIE FIGHTS: where real nerds get in real fights over fake movies! Each week, our panelists will be judged and scored on their arguments for facts, passion and creativity. So “let them fight!” because “there can…
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