Humor

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  • Still alive.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    27 May 2015 | 9:45 am
    The floodwaters are receding in our area and we’re still alive.  Aside from some minor outside damage and a door that battled more water than it was meant to we’re in really good shape compared to other people in our area (here’s a good link if you need help or want to give help) so we’re considering ourselves extremely lucky. Of course, since most of the damage happened outside that also means a lot of animal displacement (which might explain the mountain lion on my street a few days ago) so we’ve been spending a lot of time sweeping doodle-bugs and the…
  • DYAC Classic: She’s Perfect

    Damn You Auto Correct!
    Kelli
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
      Submitted by Rathlo The post DYAC Classic: She’s Perfect appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • The Problem with Frats

    CollegeHumor: Videos
    27 May 2015 | 12:00 pm
    Maybe some "traditions" need to no longer exist.
  • Winners of the Yoknapatawpha County Spelling Bee, 1929-1940 by Sean Gill

    McSweeney’s
    28 May 2015 | 4:01 am
    1929 Winner: Benbow Sartoris1 Winning Word: cloudbrooded Used in a Sentence: “…the lonely eagles aloft in blue sunshot space surrounded and enclosed by mountains cloudbrooded, taller than God.” Prize: A bumpy ride in an experimental aeroplane. 1930 Winner: Vardaman Bundren Winning Word: pussel-gutted2 Used in a Sentence: “He has pussel-gutted himself eating cold greens.” Prize: A gravedigging shovel. 1931 Winner: Elmer Hodge II Winning Word: lopbranched Used in a Sentence: “…a forlorn and hardy tree of some shabby species––gaunt, lopbranched magnolias, a stunted elm…
  • News in Photos: Fire Department Deploys Unmarked Trucks

    The Onion
    28 May 2015 | 9:21 am
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    The Bloggess

  • Still alive.

    thebloggess
    27 May 2015 | 9:45 am
    The floodwaters are receding in our area and we’re still alive.  Aside from some minor outside damage and a door that battled more water than it was meant to we’re in really good shape compared to other people in our area (here’s a good link if you need help or want to give help) so we’re considering ourselves extremely lucky. Of course, since most of the damage happened outside that also means a lot of animal displacement (which might explain the mountain lion on my street a few days ago) so we’ve been spending a lot of time sweeping doodle-bugs and the…
  • Texas is trying to kill us.

    thebloggess
    24 May 2015 | 12:08 pm
    The last 24 hours have been weird and so I don’t have time to write a full post because I’m too busy building a basement to hide in so instead I’ll just share my tweets from last night: Not sure if that was a mountain lion or an enormous yellow lab chasing that deer but we’ll be discontinuing our twilight dog walks for now. Related: Screaming “RUN TO THE HOUSE” at your kid while waving your arms to appear larger will make your neighbors run in their houses too. Texas wildlife is unsettling. 2 months ago Dorothy Barker and I were out at night & a howler…
  • WELCOME TO NEW CANADA, BITCHES.

    thebloggess
    21 May 2015 | 12:15 pm
    So last night I couldn’t sleep so I became the President. Hang on. Let me share the events as they unfolded, live: [View the story “I am the best President Canada has ever had.” on Storify] (I can’t figure out how to make the whole story appear here so you have to click on the above link and then come back to read the rest.  Sorry.) You may be asking yourself, how did this happen?  Was it because America needed a hero?  Maybe.  Was it because I’d been drinking?  Slightly more probable.  Was it because of my socks?  In a word? Fuck yes.  Technically…
  • To missing friends. The ones lost. The ones in hiding.

    thebloggess
    18 May 2015 | 8:43 pm
    Tonight I miss people.  I miss friends who I’ve lost.  I miss friends who still exist, but are too terrified of life to say hello.  I understand it.  I miss me too when I go missing.  But I’m still here – deep down- under the shell that protects me when life gets too rough.  I’m still here when my head tries to tell me I’m nothing.  I’m still here under it all.  And you’re here too. You’re here even if you think no one would know if you were gone.  You’re here in the hearts of people you would never suspect you had impacted.
  • You are fantastic and I would live under a bridge with you.

    thebloggess
    17 May 2015 | 3:42 pm
    It’s been a rough week but if you’re reading this it means you’re still alive.  Or that you have very good internet reception in the afterlife.  Either way, this calls for a small celebration: It’s the small things, y’all. And now, our weekly wrap-up.  Buckle-up, Buttercup. Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.): As requested, Totes MaGoats Totes.  Available in very-big and not-quite-so-big. Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see: Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • DYAC Classic: She’s Perfect

    Kelli
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
      Submitted by Rathlo The post DYAC Classic: She’s Perfect appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Son’s Side Job

    Kelli
    28 May 2015 | 7:00 am
      Submitted by Cindy The post Son’s Side Job appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Every Girl’s Dream

    Kelli
    27 May 2015 | 5:00 pm
    Submitted by Jack The post Every Girl’s Dream appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Achoo!

    Kelli
    27 May 2015 | 3:00 pm
      Submitted by Ron The post Achoo! appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Feeling Adventurous

    Kelli
    27 May 2015 | 1:00 pm
      Submitted by Christopher The post Feeling Adventurous appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
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    CollegeHumor: Videos

  • The Problem with Frats

    27 May 2015 | 12:00 pm
    Maybe some "traditions" need to no longer exist.
  • This Parody Perfectly Sums Up AirBnB

    27 May 2015 | 7:59 am
    Let's be honest, violating somebody's privacy and rummaging through their personal stuff is REALLY gratifying. Sure, it's morally frowned upon and probably puts your name on karma's shit list, but its important to find small ways to tell yourself how much better you are than others, right? That's where Airbnb Express comes in. Just like regular Airbnb, except you don't actually sleep in the other person's home, you just reserve an hour to rifle through their medicine cabinet and conjure up what a messed up and sad life they probably have.  Oh, and that locked closet that EVERY home has, it's…
  • 5 Food Innovations We Desperately Need

    26 May 2015 | 2:20 pm
    Taking "food for thought" to a whole new level.
  • The Universe is Really Just a Cosmic Pintrest Board for Girls

    26 May 2015 | 11:35 am
    Scientists have long believed that our universe was a vast landscape made up of chaotic matter. Hahahahahaha, silly scientists. Bill Nye has revealed that the universe is actually just a giant cosmic Pintrest board for white women to pin their hop...
  • John Oliver's Lost Graphics is a Treasure Trove of Weird Hilarity

    26 May 2015 | 8:38 am
    We didn't get a Last Week Tonight on Sunday, so whatever national injustice that John Oliver and his detectives were working on will just have to continue being evil until next week. John Oliver did throw the internet a bone though with a video highlighting some of the bizarre graphics his artists cooked up that never made it onto the show. You know, in case you ever wanted to see what Paul Giamatti dressed as a mango would look like.  John Oliver is right about that Kid Rock graphic, there really should be an actual photo of Kid Rock driving a monster truck through a Dairy Queen. Make it…
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • Winners of the Yoknapatawpha County Spelling Bee, 1929-1940 by Sean Gill

    28 May 2015 | 4:01 am
    1929 Winner: Benbow Sartoris1 Winning Word: cloudbrooded Used in a Sentence: “…the lonely eagles aloft in blue sunshot space surrounded and enclosed by mountains cloudbrooded, taller than God.” Prize: A bumpy ride in an experimental aeroplane. 1930 Winner: Vardaman Bundren Winning Word: pussel-gutted2 Used in a Sentence: “He has pussel-gutted himself eating cold greens.” Prize: A gravedigging shovel. 1931 Winner: Elmer Hodge II Winning Word: lopbranched Used in a Sentence: “…a forlorn and hardy tree of some shabby species––gaunt, lopbranched magnolias, a stunted elm…
  • List: Sufjan Stevens Song or Quote From the National UFO Reporting Center? by Mandala Laura

    28 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    1. “What Initially Appeared to Be an Aircraft, Accelerated Away From Me At a Rate of Speed Too Great to Be an Aircraft” 2. “Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois” 3. “The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You’re Going to Have to Leave Now, or, ‘I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!’” 4. “A Single Orange Glowing Object Moving East At a Steady Speed…
  • My Signed Comedy LPs: One Comedy Nerd’s Obsessive Journey: Patton Oswalt by Dan Pasternack

    28 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    - - -For most of us, our heroes are the people who inspired us in our youth, during our formative years. But I see myself as always being in a formative state, so while I still hold dear the heroes of my childhood, I seem to keep picking up new ones along the way. And while it may seem odd to view someone my own age as a hero, that’s exactly how I feel about Patton Oswalt. As a kid in my teens and into my early 20s, I was slugging it out as a stand-up comedian, performing in clubs and at colleges around the country. Sometimes for very little money. Occasionally for decent money. Back then,…
  • Our Wonderful Babysitter is Available! by Doug Moe

    27 May 2015 | 4:01 am
    Hello Listserve: Our amazing babysitter, Jocelyn O’Flannerty-DeSantis, is looking for work. She started watching our daughter just before our daughter was born (she claims to have seen our whole pregnancy through a magic mirror) until this past fall when we had to send our daughter to school (Jocelyn was not allowed to attend, despite her efforts). Jocelyn is GREAT with kids. She seems to have a special connection with children that is almost supernatural. We like to joke that her homemade juice is some kind of “potion” even though I’m fairly certain it’s just a kale smoothie. She…
  • List: Classic Wisdom for Your Early 20s by Jewel Galbraith

    27 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    Surround yourself with positive people Positive people will lift you up, inspire you, and bring joy into your life. Surround yourself with them. Learn from them. Drink of their endless wells of positivity. Drain them of their power — drain them until you’ve sucked them dry. Leave their desiccated shells behind. You don’t need them anymore. It is you who now has a positive attitude. Learn to budget Money isn’t the most important thing, but remember: it is the third most important thing. Consider law school If you’re feeling lost and aimless, remember that a law degree can help…
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    The Onion

  • News in Photos: Fire Department Deploys Unmarked Trucks

    28 May 2015 | 9:21 am
  • News: Olay Getting Women To Drop Guard With Few Nonjudgmental Ads Before Nailing Them With Body Shame

    28 May 2015 | 8:34 am
    CINCINNATI—Laying out a new marketing strategy to reach customers and promote their brand, skin care giant Olay announced plans Thursday to run just enough nonjudgmental ads to get women to let their guard down before it absolutely nails them with body shame.At a press conference, company executives rolled out a number of body-positive advertisements for Olay’s age-defying anti-wrinkle day lotion, eye-awakening cream, micro-sculpting serum, and other products, saying they hoped to lure women in and then, right when they’re least expecting it, bombard them with an all-out barrage of…
  • American Voices: Tech Industry Employees Drinking Liquid Meals To Work Longer Hours

    28 May 2015 | 7:42 am
    According to a report in The New York Times, coders, engineers, and other tech industry employees who work long hours are opting to replace meals with liquid food products to avoid wasting time eating on the job. What do you think?
  • News in Brief: GM Announces Plans To Recall Driverless Car By 2021

    28 May 2015 | 7:37 am
    DETROIT—Saying the automaker is always looking ahead to the future, top executives from General Motors announced plans Thursday to recall a fully autonomous car by 2021. “By early next decade, GM plans to put over 500,000 self-driving vehicles on the nation’s roads, and then later take them off the roads amidst serious public safety concerns,” said CEO Mary Barra during a press event, explaining that she was certain General Motors would be the first major car manufacturer in the world to roll out a large-scale recall of a driverless automobile. “We’ve begun to test several…
  • News in Brief: Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

    28 May 2015 | 6:13 am
    YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is. “If something goes wrong and the lights go off, you’re going to want to know how to get to this,” your father reportedly said while leading you down the basement stairs, before opening the gray metal panel on the wall and pointing out each of the 12 individual electrical switches. “This one goes to the washer-dryer, and these go to the kitchen. If you blow a fuse somewhere and…
 
 
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    Predator Press

  • WTF Ever Happened to Quicksand?

    Michael Wolfe
    6 May 2015 | 5:08 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] Once again, at no small expense to you, we here at Predator Press have set out to settle an age-old question burning in everyone’s mind: What ever happened to quicksand? You remember ... one could barely get through a half an hour of television without some poor slob stumbling upon his buddy's pith helmet laying mysteriously on the ground. Then he or she goes to pick it up, and the horror ensues. -It’s quicksand! I remember being taught about quicksand by no less than three teachers during the brief debacle of my education. They all…
  • DARKNESS!!!

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Apr 2015 | 7:28 am
    LOBO -Predator Press
  • Mutt

    Michael Wolfe
    17 Mar 2015 | 3:07 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press "Of course I'm Celebrating Saint Patrick's Day," says Cindy.  "I'm Irish.  Don't you care about heritage?" "Pthbtt," I says.  "If any our 'heritages' were worth a shit, our ancestors wouldn't have come to America in the first place."
  • Knox

    Michael Wolfe
    10 Feb 2015 | 3:58 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press First I need to apologize to Stephanie Barr, who actually commented on the post "Sisyphus" --a post I promptly deleted. Long story short, about ten days ago I heard from my dad for the first time in a decade, and by osmosis got some contact from other lost relatives and siblings. I've sort of inferred dad's health is in decline, but I'm not sure anybody was aware of the fact that dad found me. What ensued became quickly toxic, as I was accused of conveniently showing up by people already dividing his estate. Worse, most of this was spilling out on my Facebook account. I…
  • TurtleGate

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Jan 2015 | 4:51 am
    LOBO -Predator Press "Moriarty didn't commit suicide, you moron" Rachel explains.  "Morry is a tortoise.  Tortises live on land." "Well you're certainly not making me feel any better about this whole fiasco," I says, pushing on Morry's chest rhythmically.  "This is a consequence of God's spurious equivocation when it comes to Creation." "You're blaming God for drowning Morry?" "I mean it's not like we see fish walking around downtown," I says, slamming my fist into the inverted carapace.  "I figured this would be a major upgrade for him." Morry suddenly hacks, and ...
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • Tom Lennon, Natasha Leggero, Doug Benson - Resumayday -@midnight with Chris Hardwick

    atmidnight
    28 May 2015 | 1:32 am
    Tom Lennon, Natasha Leggero, Doug Ben... 2:23 Tom Lennon, Natasha Leggero and Doug Benson evaluate job applicants' skills based on their questionable video resumes. Watch full episodes of @midnight now: http://on.cc.com/17MOT5T Submitted by: atmidnight Regular Keywords: Chris Hardwick @midnight at midnight After Midnight Nerdist @midnight full episodes Tom Lennon Natasha Leggero Doug Benson YouTube work/office music songs Resumayday comedy central stand up comedy comedians comedy central comedians comedy funny comedian funny video comedy videos stand up videos funny jokes funny clips…
  • The Duggars Respond To Sexual Abuse Scandal

    chris_singel
    27 May 2015 | 11:45 pm
    The Duggars Respond To Sexual Abuse S... 2:22 Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, stars of 19 Kids and Counting, finally come forward to tell their side of totally covering up their son Josh's sexual molestation scandal. Submitted by: chris_singel Worthy Keywords: The Duggars Apologize michelle duggar apology jim bob duggar apology josh duggar apology josh duggar response Views: 23,267
  • Real World Advice For The Class of 2015

    mattmattmayer
    27 May 2015 | 3:15 pm
    Real World Advice For The Class of 2015 1:43 Funny Or Die News hits the streets to get real world advice for this year's graduating seniors. Submitted by: mattmattmayer Regular Keywords: funny comedy haha lol news man on the street jokes advice college college graduation graduation commencement hilarious real world advice graduating class graduate real world advice for class of 2015 college advice advice for college grads advice for college graduates advice for twenty somethings advice for 20 somethings college advice video person on the street video Views: 3,375
  • Herpes Cures Skin Cancer? The First Craigslist 'Casual Encounters' Post

    johnhowellharris
    27 May 2015 | 1:52 pm
    Herpes Cures Skin Cancer? The First C... After a drug based on the herpes virus was found to treat aggressive skin cancer, you're gonna see a lot more Craigslist posts like this one. Submitted by: johnhowellharris Regular Keywords: Modified herpes virus 'could combat skin cancer' How Herpes Is Being Used to Fight Cancer Skin cancer hope from herpes virus Herpes-Based Drug Shown to Successfully Treat Aggressive Skin Cancer Genetically engineered virus 'cures' patients of skin cancer Could herpes be the cure for deadly skin cancer? Herpes virus genetically engineered to destroy…
  • Fred Armisen, Vanessa Bayer, And More Help Jenny Lewis Recreate Her Child Actor Past For Her New Video

    Jenny Nelson
    27 May 2015 | 11:10 am
    Fred Armisen, Vanessa Bayer, And More... Lewis sends up The Golden Girls, Troop Beverly Hills, and more stuff she starred in before making a name for herself as a musician. Submitted by: Jenny Nelson Regular Keywords: Jenny Lewis child star video Jenny Lewis child actor video Jenny Lewis child actress video Jenny Lewis Fred Armisen Jenny Lewis Vanessa Bayer Jenny Lewis she's not me jenny lewis she's not me music video jenny lewis funny music video Jenny Lewis Vanessa Bayer Sound Advice Jenny Lewis Sound Advice rilo kiley music video jenny lewis troop beverly hills jenny lewis the…
 
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    vintage everyday

  • Dock Square, Boston, Massachusetts, 1860

    John VE
    28 May 2015 | 8:20 am
  • Pictures of a Wild Swimming Party in 1939

    John VE
    28 May 2015 | 5:33 am
    These photographs were taken by photographer David E. Scherman and published on LIFE with a simple title “Too Many Girls swimming party.” And the guess from MessyNessy that this might have been some sort of promotional or wrap party for the 1940 musical starring Lucille Ball, Too Many Girls.See more »
  • Hippie girl in Washington Square Park, 1968

    John VE
    28 May 2015 | 3:54 am
  • Old Pictures of Working Women during the First World War

    John VE
    27 May 2015 | 2:01 pm
    During the war, women entered the workforce in new ways. Women served in the navy and marines, and thousands served as nurses. On the home front, women worked in factories and in the government.Women unloading barrels in Bordeaux, France.A woman delivers coal in France.Women making missiles in a munitions factory in England.Women unloading a coal wagon in England.Women firefighters in EnglandSee more »
  • 15 Vintage Photographs of Streets of London from the 1890s

    John VE
    27 May 2015 | 11:53 am
    During the 19th century, London was transformed into the world's largest city and capital of the British Empire. In fact, by the 1890s, there were approximately 300,000 horses and 1,000 tons of dung a day in London.Fleet StreetFleet Street. By James ValentineBoundary StreetGracechurch StreetHigh HolbornSee more »
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    15 Minute Lunch

  • The one where my wife takes the full load.

    11 May 2015 | 5:30 pm
    I recently looked up our property on Google Earth, and realized something.  Our house was no longer visible from space.  Some may view this as a good thing, but I do not.  It meant that it was time to spend all kinds of money I didn't want to spend, doing something I didn't want to do.  I had to cut down trees, and free my house from this leafy oppression.  Well, not me personally. I was going to hire someone, since most of these trees were white pines over a hundred feet tall, with mean dispositions, and I only have a 14" chainsaw and a fear of barber chairs.
  • Random Rants and Aerial Rectal Relief in 30 minutes or less.

    21 Feb 2015 | 1:21 pm
    This post? Completely random topics that I plan to write about as I think of them.  So to start, I'll have you all know that I'm a lottery winner.  I found a ten dollar bill in my jeans pocket when I put them on this morning, so on the way home from work I sprung for one of those ten dollar "$5000 a week for life" lottery tickets that only an insane person with more money than sense would ever buy.  But even though I knew my odds of winning were slightly worse than my odds of spending a night with a Victoria's Secret model who isn't printed on paper,  I walked into…
  • It's a Trap! Get an Axe.

    4 Feb 2015 | 5:44 pm
    Hello peoples of the Internet!  It's time for another edition of the old standby....Fantastic Searches That Somehow Pointed People To My SiteThis site doesn't get as much traffic as it used to, so some of these google search links are actually less fantastic and more obvious, but I liked them so I left them in. wool nipple warmers - My advice is that this is a bad idea. Because if you actually DO find wool nipple warmers, they will be rough and scratchy, and you will soon be looking for silk nipple warmers and a big tube of Benadryl for Nipples. And let me ask a serious question here,…
  • Raptor it up, I'll take it.

    23 Jan 2015 | 10:11 pm
    Man, I almost forgot the password to this dump. What have I been doing with my time, you ask? Well, I'll get to that.  So what's new with you? How've you been?  You look great!  Do people still read blogs?  Are blogs still a thing?  I'll have to Google it.This past weekend my wife and I spent her birthday in a little Inn in Vermont.  We were hoping for some snow, and our plans included lots of relaxing and maybe a sleigh ride at a local farm.   We did lots of relaxing, but it was mostly forced because the weather sucked. Instead of snow we got icy rain that…
  • You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    17 Jun 2014 | 6:52 pm
    Well, hello there. Is this place still open?I've been MIA lately, I know.   It seems the less I write, the less I feel like writing, so I have to do something about that, because I really do like writing.  So I have a story to tell you.  I spent $27,500 dollars about a month or so ago.  I would like to say I purchased a new car, or put an addition on my house or even spent it on hookers and blow, but no.  I spent it for a single night's accommodations in a drafty room in the city so a burly guy named Steve with a tattoo on his neck could offer me injectable drugs.
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    View from the Cloud

  • Chapter 8 - California!

    Jeff
    20 May 2015 | 4:20 pm
    Well here we are firmly planted in the heart of northern California, and having an amazing time!Starting from the moment we left Connecticut we have been on a whirlwind tour of stopping to see pretty much every family member we have (see Chapter 6) including our two boys in Phoenix and Oceanside... who coincidentally were BOTH in the process of moving at precisely the exact moment we pulled into their respective driveways. Hey, let's wait until mom and dad get here before we try to move all this crap!Actually, we wouldn't have had it any other way. Being able to schedule your house sits so…
  • House Sitting and the Technology of Travel

    Jeff
    14 Apr 2015 | 1:22 pm
    A few weeks ago a coworker, who knew I was house sitting and assumed I was in a home office of some sort, asked me over instant message where I was at the time. I replied, "Right now I'm barreling down interstate 40 at about 75 mph." A few seconds later I added... "of course my wife is driving," so he didn't think I was working on a laptop and operating a high speed motor vehicle at the same time, because quite frankly I don't think there's even laws yet for that level of stupidity.But seriously, people often ask me how I can manage to keep working with all the driving we do. Do you take a…
  • Chapter 6 - Moving On

    Jeff
    22 Mar 2015 | 4:52 pm
    I remember when I was 16, sitting in the basement with my friend and making big talk about how as soon as I graduated we were going to jump in his car and move to California, just like that. We didn't need a plan, we'd figure it out when we got there.  It was an exhilarating feeling, the thought of a new adventure with endless possibilities.  There didn't seem to be any reason we couldn't do it, and succeed! But somehow things didn't work out that way.  By the time I graduated I had a job, college plans and, oh yeah... no money saved.Fast forward to one year ago, me and Charli…
  • Chapter 5 - Day Trippin... The Big Apple

    Jeff
    9 Mar 2015 | 6:22 pm
    One of the reasons we were drawn to this gypsy lifestyle of living on the road was because it afforded us the opportunity to see the good old U.S. of A. in intimate detail.  What better way can you explore this country's rich regional wonders than by living right smack in the middle of them for extended periods of time?! But because we have the responsibility of caring for people's pets, we can't just take off for days at a time and hope the animals don't get into trouble while we are gone, like by throwing a huge kegger for example. You just can't trust them like that. Instead, we see…
  • Chapter 4 - House Sitting 101

    Jeff
    16 Feb 2015 | 3:33 pm
    Charli and I get asked a lot of questions now that we are full time house sitters, such as...- What is house sitting?- How do you find houses to sit at?- Do you get paid?- Do you pay them? - Where can you do it? - Have you lost your minds?In this post I'll answer these questions and more!Let's start at the top...What is house sitting?In general, house sitting is a way for people to leave their house for an extended period of time while someone else stays there to take care of their pets and provide a "lived in" presence.  There are many aspects to a house sitting arrangement, but in our…
 
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    Jokes - jokes4all.net!

  • The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and ...

    28 May 2015 | 5:59 am
    The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?""There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
  • I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork pie. ...

    28 May 2015 | 1:59 am
    I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork pie.A tramp was sitting on the pavement, he looked up at me and said: "I have not eaten for 3 days!"I said: "I wish i had your willpower!"
  • A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds ...

    27 May 2015 | 9:59 pm
    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.""Onions?""Yes, you see them and they make you cry."This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s,…
  • A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. ...

    27 May 2015 | 5:59 pm
    A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?""I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied."What's so funny about that?""I'm a gynecologist."
  • A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls ...

    27 May 2015 | 1:59 pm
    A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold…
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • Because Cheryl Lynn Got Blocked By Anita Baker on Twitter

    Awesomely Luvvie
    28 May 2015 | 8:10 am
    Last night, Cheryl Lynn took to Twitter to let us all know about how she’s been hurt by her old friend, Anita Baker, who has blocked her on Twitter. Two R&B aunties from days of yore. Let’s be clear. I do not call what happened a beef. One person tweeting to the ether while blocked by the other is a MONOLOGUE. If a tree falls in the woods and the leaves run and no one curr, does it really fall? Who knows? But yeah, that was not a beef. It started with the a tweet from Cheryl, after she realized that Anita has put her in Twitter purgatory. @IAMANITABAKER Really girl, I thought…
  • 4 Places to Visit in Nairobi, Kenya

    Awesomely Luvvie
    27 May 2015 | 2:58 pm
    In March, me and some of my oldest friends went to Kenya for the first time and we had a grand time. I even had a fantastic meetup with the Bloggers Association of Kenya that I blogged about here. I’ve been meaning to write about other things I did so here’s my overdue post about my trip to Nairobi. I’ve been to South Africa, and I go back to Nigeria every year. This was my first time going somewhere in East Africa and it certainly won’t be my last. Kenya was so welcoming and the people made me feel right at home. I really recommend that everyone goes. Many of my…
  • The Gift: Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 7 Recap

    Awesomely Luvvie
    25 May 2015 | 1:46 pm
    After last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, I just wanted some type of hope to peek through. We need something good because all that despair is exhausting. Let’s talk about it! Winterfell In Winterfell, Theon Reek brings food into Sansa’s chamber, and finds her curled in a ball crying in bed. He wants to back out and leave when she jumps up and begs him to help her. She is bruised all over and she says Ramsay rapes her every night. She wants him to light the candle on the broken tower, so her Northern help can come. Theon is shaking in his boots and tells her to call him Reek.
  • The Woes Conundrum According to My Friends

    Awesomely Luvvie
    22 May 2015 | 9:48 am
    I just really started noticing everyone talmbout how they’re running with their “woes” and I was like Wait. What did this happen? When did everyone start hanging with “woes” and why? I posed this question to my Facebook friends and below is the thread that ensues. I’m so glad to hang out with fellow Youngold people who will be amazing cranky old people one day. Kris: It’s probably a good thing that I have no idea what you are talking about Jessica: What the heck is a woe? Keila: Blame Drake for everything. Heidi: Where I’m from, it’s short…
  • Step Away From the Jersey Onesies, Everyone

    Awesomely Luvvie
    20 May 2015 | 9:19 am
    Two days ago, Beyonce and Nicki Minaj dropped a video on TIDAL. “Feeling Myself” took everyone by surprise and tried really hard to get folks to subscribe to TIDAL, even though 2 hours later it was already all over the web. Unless Jesus is gonna release the remix to the Ten Commandments on there, I’m STILL not paying for it. I do wanna see a collaboration with Christ, featuring Archangel Michael on hook and St. Peter on the bridge. Maybe then, I’ll drop the $20. But I’ll probably unsubscribe right after. Unless the next month, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John do an…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • No Title, Just Me Screaming and Holding Your Hands and Jumping In The Air

    Brittany
    22 May 2015 | 7:38 am
    Everywhere I went, I was asked the same question. Sooo… what is this book is about? And then I give a perfectly wonderful answer about it being a funny memoir of my life as a fat girl and then growing up and being something great. But the truth is, the book is more about what I can’t say on national television. Family tragedy, lesbianism, love, failing out of college, fumbling through sex, homeslessness, pee your pants hilarity, and finally, loving the absolute fuck out of yourself. If this sounds like your kind of book, Fat Girl Walking is for you. I’d like to think of it…
  • The Big Day

    Brittany
    19 May 2015 | 3:00 am
    It’s 6am on Tuesday May 19th. I’m the first one awake, watching the sun come up, on the day my book comes out.  Nope. Still not used to saying that part. As of today, any one of you can walk into a book store, pick up the book with my photo on it, and read pages and pages of my deepest secrets. Like, for real, secret, secret stuff. And there is nothing I can do about it. It’s both elating and terrifying. It’s been such a long time coming. So many bloggers come into this medium wanting to write a book. It’s practically in our personal mission statement.
  • Fat Girl Walking + ModCloth = Best Giveaway 4Ever

    Brittany
    19 May 2015 | 2:45 am
    As you can tell by now, I have a little bit of a bikini problem. As seen here. And here. And also here. Being in a bathing suit makes me feel pretty and strong and sexy as hell. And now it’s your turn. The fabulous folks at ModCloth and I have decided to lure you into sexy swimsuit confidence with a fabulous instagram giveaway. Now through June 2nd, 2015, if you upload a photo of you in a bathing suit to instagram, you will be entered to win a copy of my book, Fat Girl Walking, and an “I Like Big Books” tote bag! That’s amazing, Brittany! How to I enter?  Simply…
  • 408 Months

    Brittany
    28 Apr 2015 | 5:48 am
    My friend recently had a baby boy, and he’s adorable. With each growing month, she puts up a new photo of the little prince touting his accomplishments, which developmental stages he’s powering through, and noting what he currently loves and hates at that moment in his life. Why don’t we do this as adults? Do we just assume we reach a certain age and everything just stops? No further growth or development, just giant grumpy babies bumping into each other because we’re staring at our phones? Some of my best growth and development has happened as an adult. And sure, it…
  • Camp Throwback Spring Break Sale… I’m Not Even Joshing You.

    Brittany
    8 Apr 2015 | 3:55 am
    The first session of Camp Throwback is in less than 60 days and it’s beyond sold out. Bummer, you know, unless you already have your ticket. If you didn’t, like, what’s your damage? Listen, if you missed out, I’m going to help you out really quick. In celebration of our new August session and Spring Break this week, I’ve decided to release some  coveted Camp tickets for the August 2015 session with an added bonus of $20 off now through Friday, April 10th! Hurry, grab yours while it lasts… no duh! What is Camp Throwback?  Discount code: SPRINGBREAK Sale…
 
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    mark a rayner

  • Why Canadians celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday

    Mark A. Rayner
    18 May 2015 | 9:42 am
    Here in Canada we celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday, and it is known as Victoria Day. Why? She has been dead for more than 110 years, and our current Queen has now been reigning almost as long as Vicky did. I mean, Canada barely has anything to do with the monarchy anymore. Do we celebrate this […]
  • Introducing the Venkman Brothers

    Mark A. Rayner
    15 May 2015 | 4:02 am
    Herbetron and Merculia Venkman came from a proud line of Norwegian clowns, and were determined to climb to dizzying heights in America. They gazed at the ocean, their white chins pointed up with pride, their red noses threatening to fly off in the stiff Atlantic breeze. Herbetron, in particular, had a vision. He could see […]
  • They say talent skips a generation

    Mark A. Rayner
    11 May 2015 | 7:20 am
    Vlastic Tesla was the illegitimate son of Nikola Tesla. Nikola invented the alternating current system, the induction motor, lightning rods, electro-mechanical oscillators, the Tesla coil, the Bifilar coil, robotics and the electronic logic gate, wireless technology, radio astronomy, the teleforce particle beam weapon, and known for his theoretical work in rotating magnetic fields, telegeodynamics, space […]
  • Eventually, you’re going to need a robo-nun

    Mark A. Rayner
    2 May 2015 | 4:50 am
    Eucrecia was pretty exciting about her transformation into a Happy Ending Pleasure Bot, but the nice men at Zina-Works 3000 were having problems with the fittings. It was delicate work. The cavity extruder was just barely powerful enough to fit Eucrecia into the chest exoskeleton and having carefully examined her lady bits, the scientists were […]
 
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)

    madkane
    27 May 2015 | 12:56 pm
    Good news for men worried about ED — coffee’s good for you: According to new research from The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, men who drink the caffeine equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day are less likely to have erectile dysfunction. Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane Dear men, avoid pills and injections, Yet hold on to your manly erections: Drinking coffee each day Drives dysfunction away And prevents disappointing defections.
  • Beer Is Good For You??? (Limerick)

    madkane
    26 May 2015 | 5:24 pm
    Take this with several grains … of alcohol: According to a bunch of studies, beer is good for you. Beer Is Good For You??? (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane For those who enjoy drinking beer, There’s news you’ll be happy to hear: Beer is good for your heart And your kidneys. Good start… But I still give its taste a bronx cheer.
  • Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROOTS at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

    madkane
    23 May 2015 | 8:30 pm
    It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROOTS at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.) The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.) How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick…
  • Limerick of the Week (214)

    madkane
    23 May 2015 | 8:17 pm
    It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to COLLEEN MURPHY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: For searching they brought out the hound, “The best-sniffing hunt dog around.” But instead of the punk It uncovered a skunk, And the stench from its spray was profound. And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Scott Crowder, Allen Wilcox, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:…
  • Holiday Tip (Limerick)

    madkane
    21 May 2015 | 1:48 pm
    Holiday Tip (Limerick) By Madeleine Begun Kane I’m presenting a holiday tip. No it’s not what you think. Get a grip! It is Waitstaff Day. See? And I’m sure you’ll agree That those folks deserve more than this quip. (National Waitstaff Day — May 21)
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for May 28, 2015

    28 May 2015 | 4:59 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for May 27, 2015

    27 May 2015 | 4:59 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for May 26, 2015

    26 May 2015 | 4:59 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for May 25, 2015

    25 May 2015 | 4:59 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for May 24, 2015

    24 May 2015 | 4:59 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
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    CAP News

  • Obama To Take Scalpels, Sharp Objects Away From Doctors

    21 May 2015 | 4:18 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Obama outlined the second phase of his Righteous Indignation Initiative yesterday with plans to remove all cutting implements and other "pointy, stabby objects" from hospitals and doctors' offices. He said such tools can alienate patients and turn doctors into an "occupying force." "How many Americans are afraid to go to the doctor because they fear they will be cut open like a can of sardines the minute they walk through the door?" said Obama. "We need to integrate doctors into the community, not arm them with weapons used in back alleys." Obama said he…
  • Study: Axe Spray Makes Teenagers Smell Like Crap

    18 May 2015 | 4:22 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - A new study out of the Pew Research Center focusing on Axe body sprays found that, of 100 teenagers using the products, 99 of them smelled "like total crap," according to Pew spokesman Dr. Francis Spitznagel. "And it turned out the other kid was actually wearing Old Spice," Spitznagel said. Interestingly, the findings stand in direct contrast to what the teenagers themselves thought of their personal odors, with the vast majority of them saying that they thought they smelled "wicked good." "Girls totally love it," said Josh Zwybeck, 18, apparently believing the ads that…
  • Image Of Courtney Love Seen On Highway Overpass

    29 Apr 2015 | 4:16 am
    POTTAWATTAMIE COUNTY, Iowa (CAP) - On a long stretch of highway east of Omaha, Neb., trucker Rhett Ingram pulled over his rig and hopped out so he could stretch his legs. And what he saw was a stretch for his imagination. "So I'm shaking hands with the president and I look up and there she is," Ingram told CAP News, "staring down at me like I just stole her stash or something." It didn't take long for the word to spread about Courtney Love's image on that Route 6 overpass, and soon crowds were reaching the double-digits. Employees at Penny's Diner even reported having to put on a second pot…
  • Interplanetary Coalition To Shut Down Saturn

    27 Apr 2015 | 4:07 am
    ATLANTA (CAP) - The Atlanta-based Interplanetary Coalition of Celestial Bodies has announced plans to shut down the planet Saturn by this time next year. Close to 2,500 astronomers are expected to be out of a job at that time. "We feel the decision to close Saturn is in the best interests of the solar system," said ICCB President Donald Zimmerman. "By closing the one planet, we feel we can avoid any sort of reduction in force with regard to the other planets." A recent study published by the ICCB cited the dwindling numbers of astronomers and a continued decrease in interest in astronomy over…
  • Retailers Disappointed In Earth Day Sales Numbers

    24 Apr 2015 | 3:55 am
    FLORIDA CITY (CAP) - As President Obama marked Earth Day by polluting his way down to Everglades National Park, Mark Jenkins meandered through the gathered crowd pushing his metal shopping cart packed to the hilt with mylar balloons in the shape of the Earth, colorful pinwheels with recycling logos stamped on the leaves, and an assortment of glowsticks that could rival the aurora borealis. Jenkins was hopeful; but nobody was buying. "All we heard for weeks was Earth Day this, Earth Day that, a billion people expected to celebrate Earth Day - like it was the second coming of Christmas,"…
 
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • It’s opposite day in Cincinnati!

    Kerry
    26 May 2015 | 7:27 pm
    Chris in Cincinnati says this came in the mail with no return address. The butterfly sticker is a nice touch, no? related: Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.  
  • Meanwhile, in America’s Dairyland

    Kerry
    19 May 2015 | 3:09 pm
    Writes Libby in Green Bay, Wisconsin: “In my office, about 100 people share one communal fridge. One person has been bringing a gallon of milk for months and completely ignoring how much room it takes up.  Apparently, someone had had enough of their inconsiderate nonsense.” After all, the considerate Wisconsinite would just hitch his dairy cow up in the breakroom like everyone else. related: Spoiled Milk
  • The “beep it all” approach

    Kerry
    13 May 2015 | 7:32 pm
    Our submitter in Austin calls this “the result of a slowly escalating office disagreement.” related: No cackle zone
  • Dear Booger-Flicker

    Kerry
    6 May 2015 | 7:41 pm
    The epidemic continues! related: It’s called “performance art”
  • Screaming Infidelities

    Kerry
    29 Apr 2015 | 5:27 am
    Writes our submitter in Iowa: “This anonymous note from our “disappointed neighbors” was taped to an iron bench in front of our house – on Earth Day, no less!” related: Take that, Homeowners Association!
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    BroBible

  • Sensational Abigail Ratchford And An Entire All-Star Team Of Hot Models Had A Sexy Slumber Party!

    Paul Sacca
    28 May 2015 | 7:32 am
    Posted by Abigail Ratchford on Wednesday, May 27, 2015 Amazing Abigail Ratchford was a extremely gracious host and invited some of the hottest models to her “Bombshell Slumber Party” at her barbie glam apartment. The best party ever was attended by scorching smokeshows Lindsey Pelas, Jenna Jenovich, Rosie Roff,Ela Rose, Vivian Kindle, Charm Killings, Jessica Cribbon and Gemma Lee Farrell. That’s an army of mesmerizing models that I would wave my white flag and surrender to immediately. There was much vino, cupcakes, talk about boys, lingerie and lollipops. Oh yeah there was…
  • The FIFA 16 Trailer Just Dropped, And The Game Just Got A Lot More Complicated

    Cass Anderson
    28 May 2015 | 7:15 am
    The ‘FIFA 16′ trailer just dropped, along with an announcement that FIFA 16 will have a September 2015 release date for PC, Xbox One, Xbox 360, PlayStation 4 & PlayStation 3. The biggest feature announcement is that for the first time in history you’ll be able to play as the women’s national teams from all across the globe. That’s right, beginning this Fall you’ll be able to dominate the rest of the world playing as the USWNT. Finally we ‘Muricans will know the nationalist pride of playing as a squad as talented as a Brazil or Germany. This is a…
  • Rifle-Toting Chicago Police Officers Posed For A Photo Over A Suspect With Deer Antlers

    Reggie Noble
    28 May 2015 | 7:09 am
    Court file There are errors in judgement and then there is what two Chicago police officers did. In quite possibly the worst decision made in years, officers Timothy McDermott and Jerome Finnigan posed for a photo while standing over an unnamed black suspect wearing antlers. You’re not going to believe this, but the photo had some negative consequences for the pair. Believed to have been taken in a West Side police station between 1999 and 2003, the Polaroid photo was given to the city by the feds in 2013 and resulted in McDermott, a clout-heavy cop, being fired last year by the police…
  • ‘Entourage’ Creator Doug Ellin’s Sexy Wife Maddie Diehl Spends A LOT Of Time In A Bikini

    Douglas Charles
    28 May 2015 | 7:08 am
    Maddie Diehl, Instagram Now I know that a person’s social media photos can be deceiving, but by the looks of the Instagram account of one Maddie Diehl, the wife of Entourage creator Doug Ellin, her life is one continuous vacation and/or party. Of course, we would expect nothing less, right? Maddie Diehl’s account is nothing but sporting events, jet-skiing, hanging with celebrities, music festivals, boat parties, beach parties, horseback riding, snow skiing, and even flying around on jet packs. It’s quite the life she and her husband Doug seem to lead. The only surprising…
  • Are the Big 3 Lifts All You Really Need To Get Jacked?

    Tanner Baze
    28 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    Via ShutterStock In the lifting community there’s some sort of weird rivalry. Like Marvel vs. DC. It’s epic. It pits behemoths against each other. It’s also completely pointless for most people to debate about. Powerlifters and bodybuilders can’t seem to get along. Bodybuilders obviously care much more about looking good naked and having symmetry. Powerlifters just care about getting strong as shit, and performing well in their meets. That much is obvious, but they also feel it necessary to bring down the other. “Bodybuilders are all show, no go.” “Who the hell thinks a…
 
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    Regretful Morning

  • Target Practice Fails (5:21)

    Jason
    28 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    Ready, aim, fail.  Here are 5 glorious minutes of target practice... The post Target Practice Fails (5:21) appeared first on Regretful Morning - Funny, Awesome, Sexy and Weird.
  • Chicks Wearing Glasses Look Damn Sexy (30 Pics)

    Mark
    28 May 2015 | 5:00 am
    Here are 30 chicks wearing glasses who could probably own you at a game of COD, and make you a sandwich in the same night. Not saying all chicks... The post Chicks Wearing Glasses Look Damn Sexy (30 Pics) appeared first on Regretful Morning - Funny, Awesome, Sexy and Weird.
  • Woman Bites Off Dog’s Testicles and Then Things Get Crazy

    Dan Scully
    27 May 2015 | 7:29 pm
    See that face up there? That's Audrey Ranch, a 62 year old West Virginian who, as revenge for her son having "ate all the meat," decided to bite... The post Woman Bites Off Dog’s Testicles and Then Things Get Crazy appeared first on Regretful Morning - Funny, Awesome, Sexy and Weird.
  • These 24 Facebook Status Updates Deserve An Award

    Mark
    27 May 2015 | 4:54 pm
    Sometimes they're full of fail, sometimes they're full of win, and sometimes they deserve an... The post These 24 Facebook Status Updates Deserve An Award appeared first on Regretful Morning - Funny, Awesome, Sexy and Weird.
  • Cops Arrest Several Idiots On Memorial Day (3:03)

    Jason
    27 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    Yesterday we posted a pretty intense video of bouncers destroying drunk dudes left and right. Here's some more footage, also from Florida. This... The post Cops Arrest Several Idiots On Memorial Day (3:03) appeared first on Regretful Morning - Funny, Awesome, Sexy and Weird.
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    コミックインフィニティ

  • 巨乳について

    master
    21 May 2015 | 7:31 am
    巨乳について is a post from: コミックインフィニティ
  • 私の弟

    master
    19 Apr 2015 | 1:08 am
    長女・次女・長男という構成で私は次女。 弟とは8つ年が離れています。 小さい時には、両親も親戚もみんなを独り占めにしている弟が羨ましくて、すごく嫌いでした(^^;) 私は高校から実家を離れたため、なかなか会う機会も無くなり、久しぶりに会った弟は、身長は伸びてすっかり大人びていたものの、自分の部屋から出てこない典型的なひきこもりのようになっていました。…
  • おっぱいが大きかったら良かったのに。

    master
    19 Mar 2015 | 6:04 am
    自称Bカップです。 実際妊娠前にサイズを測ってもらった時もBカップでした。でもなんか。見た目小さくない?と毎日鏡を見るたびにガッカリ。…
  • 平和と俺得修学旅行

    master
    22 Feb 2015 | 5:45 am
    平和と俺得修学旅行 is a post from: コミックインフィニティ
  • 巨乳と貧乳について

    master
    18 Feb 2015 | 8:07 pm
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    Zoomdoggle

  • Hello world!

    admin
    26 May 2015 | 4:04 pm
    Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!
 
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Cutesy Hipster Warning And Cosplay Boundaries

    PeaceBang
    25 May 2015 | 6:42 pm
    Because of online retailers like ModCloth, Eshakti and others, we all have access to funky, retro, really fun clothes. You don’t have to live in New York City or Portland (or any city) anymore to have access to hipster fashion. That’s wonderful and yay and everything. But darlings, do keep an eye on the cutesy factor of some of these garments. Ministers do not wear obvious kitty cats for anything but a relaxed day during which they are CERTAIN they will not be called to serious business. This is a wicked cute skirt, though. No balloons. Come on. Also: no candy prints. Don’t…
  • Context Is A Consideration, Not a Justification

    PeaceBang
    25 May 2015 | 6:29 pm
    We all know that how we dress for ministry is partially determined by our context, but I do push back at that concept on occasion when I hear it being used to justify dressing way down. “My people wear hoodies and shorts to worship, so I wear jeans because I want them to feel like I’m not trying to be BETTER THAN THEM.” Huh? Since when does showing respect for the leading of corporate worship signal arrogance or competitiveness? It’s your job to represent the highest ideals of your religious community, not to attire yourself like a social pal who’s heading to a…
  • When Your Body Changes Shape: Love From the Rev. Dr. Honeycrisp

    PeaceBang
    25 May 2015 | 3:10 pm
    There is nothing like the living, moving camera footage to tell you quite honestly what shape you’re at. I am in rehearsals right now for “Cabaret,” and my wonderful director takes rehearsal footage so we can review our scenes and numbers at home. I tend to wear fairly fitted garments when rehearsing so I can move comfortably and be aware of my limbs and what I’m doing with them, and my stance, and my posture, and everything about my presence. I rehearse in shoes similar to those I am going to wear so that I can feel how my character stands. Last week I was doing my…
  • Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick

    PeaceBang
    25 May 2015 | 2:45 pm
    Devoted Pigeon Wil writes that she has has a Bobbi Brown shimmer brick ($44) for years and loves it. She uses the colors judiciously – blending to her day’s needs – rather than blend them all together. Here’s what Bobbi Brown’s official website says about “How To Use,” “Sweep the Face Blender Brush (sold separately) through all five shades of the Shimmer Brick Compact and dust lightly on cheekbones after Blush. Focus on applying shimmer on the top of cheekbones—where light naturally hits the face—for the most flattering look.” A good…
  • Those Striped Blush Thingies

    PeaceBang
    25 May 2015 | 7:57 am
    I got this freebie at Duane Reade drugstore in Union Square. I don’t usually buy make-up that I don’t know to be cruelty-free, but hey, FREEBIE! Why not try it? The thing about these blushes that have highlighter built in, so to speak, is that you get the light-reflecting quality anywhere you put the product. This creates either a pleasing glow or a Shiny Face situation. I am undecided. I grabbed some screenshots to check it out. Sorry they’re blurry. Oh my god, I’m using air quotes!! I am trying some non-robe option for Sunday mornings and a black suit felt right for…
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    The Junk Drawer

  • “Hi, Guy Who Got the Weirdest Malware I’ve Ever Seen!”

    Kathy
    9 May 2015 | 6:38 am
    I’ve never been good at remembering names. Faces, yes. If I met you only once before, I can usually remember the context of the meeting. I’d probably even remember a lot about you if we spoke at length – where you work, what you do, your kids, places you vacationed. Whatever. But even if you gave me your name and I repeated it aloud during the conversation, it never seems to make its way to long term memory. You might as well ask me to remember pi to the 107th digit. Ain’t gonna happen. I had an exercise in name mortification this week at work. The problem with providing technical…
  • Any statisticians in the house?

    Kathy
    29 Dec 2014 | 8:45 am
    While out on my walk today I noticed a lot of obvious Christmas gift boxes and related paraphernalia on my neighbors’ curbs ready for trash pickup. You had the usual flat screen TV boxes, a Keurig box, some toy boxes and a host of plain shipping boxes. Also pizza boxes. My neighbors live on pizza apparently. But then. Then there was this: I laughed, of course. Someone either had a really good Christmas, or a really bad one. I kept on with my walk and about ten houses down the street, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? Can someone who knows stats tell me what the chances are for…
  • Memory Burn

    Kathy
    18 Nov 2014 | 4:08 pm
    Many of you know my husband Dave and I took a vacation to England in September. It was our second trip there in a 16-month period, lucky ducks we are. Whenever I get back from a whirlwind vacation, I think of blogging about it, but it just feels like too much work. Too much to document and I always wonder if I’ll remember everything or bore everyone, or both. So I decide not to write about it at all. But today I wanted to talk about the little moments of this vacation that pop into my head when my life is spinning, when people are getting on my last nerve, when I need to fling myself back…
  • We Have Cats Because They’re Not Dogs. And Yet…

    Kathy
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    So I’ve never been a dog person. First, because I was attacked by a German shepherd as a child. That’ll turn you off dogs for good, lemme tell ya. Second, because dogs eat stuff they shouldn’t, break stuff and need to be taken out for walks. I’m a very easily annoyed and lazy person, so there you go. And yet, I appear to have a dog anyway. A new cat named Chloe, renamed Chewy. Why renamed Chewy? Because of this: This is the HDMI cable from our upstairs TV that suddenly wouldn’t work. Took 45 minutes on the phone with a perplexed RCN tech support guy before I realized the cable had…
  • Back to School Crazy

    Kathy
    8 Aug 2014 | 3:46 pm
    I’d like to start off by saying I tip my hat to all you parents out there. I’m constantly amazed at how you pull off the hardest job in the world, all with a myriad other stresses in your life. I don’t know where you get the time or energy for it. Pat yourselves on the back. Go ahead. Do it. Those of you with kids returning to school in the fall are probably running around right now trying to get all your ducks in a row. I’ve heard of schools sending parents a list of things their children will need before school starts, especially grade school-aged children. Very specific lists that…
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    Hot Ghetto Mess

  • Shameless Mess

    melee
    27 May 2015 | 6:13 pm
    SO this is considered fashion? Wearing a tank top as a skirt.....oh ok -_- #ratchetmess
  • Thotty Mess

    melee
    27 May 2015 | 6:11 pm
    Ladies, we just got to do better. #thotsRus
  • Limo Van Mess

    melee
    27 May 2015 | 6:09 pm
    Why on earth? #limomess
  • Walmart Mess

    melee
    27 May 2015 | 6:08 pm
  • WTF Mess

    melee
    27 May 2015 | 6:06 pm
    WTF is happening? Somebody explain!!!! #wtfmess
 
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    Weird News FilesWeird News Files » | The Weirdest News Ever

  • Cemetery Tours: Not for the Faint Hearted

    Author
    27 May 2015 | 9:21 am
    When you hear the word “cemetery,” you might immediately think of death and morbidity. But for other people, the strange and dark places where our dearly departed were laid to their final resting place are quite interesting and even magnetic. For this reason, there are now cemetery tours that take you to some of the most popular graves. If you have the heart and guts to join such weird and morose kinds of excursions, then these are the places to go you should consider: Arlington National Cemetery, Washington DC Arlington is also a memorial for over 360,000 American veterans. Here, you…
  • A Day in the Life of a Human Barbie

    Author
    20 May 2015 | 2:11 am
    Barbie dolls are famous for their perfect physical features – long, blonde hair, tiny waist, big breasts and dazzling blue eyes. They are so beautiful that many little girls have dreamt of growing up to look like their favorite dolls. But those young girls outgrew that dream and went on to live normal lives. For some though, they made it their goal in life to look exactly the most famous doll of all time. One of them is Ukrainian model Valeria Lukyanova. Valeria has spent considerable amounts of money and too much effort into looking like a live Barbie doll. Today, she is dubbed the…
  • Weirdest books ever written and published – part 2

    Author
    13 May 2015 | 1:09 am
    Okay, so there roughly is about a hundred or more weird and disturbing books out there, and probably as plentiful as weird films and videos. So here we are for part two of the weirdest books series. If you were not moved to read one of the books in part one, perhaps you will find your pick in this list. Do-It-Yourself Coffins for Pets and People By Dale Power Here is a guide to making your very own coffin, and although it is for both pets and people, we simply cannot ignore the eerie fact of building caskets. Who knows this was a bible for murderers and psychopaths? Is not hiring a neighborly…
  • Weirdest Books Ever Written and Published – Part 1

    Author
    5 May 2015 | 10:27 pm
    It takes guts and a good idea to come up with a good book, but some writers have successfully released these very interesting books. The only letdown is that these books are categorically weird, and because of that, the books may or may not be an entirely great read, so you be the judge. How to Dissappear Completely And Never Be Found By Doug Richmond Yes, the theme itself is absurd and obviously meant for those who want to get away from something, maybe a crime. What makes this book weirder is the misspelled title where the word “dissappear” that appears all caps seven times…
  • Abandoned Towns and Uninhabited Villages that Lure Tourists

    Author
    29 Apr 2015 | 6:34 am
    There is something about Machu Picchu that lures tourists in – its historical splendor and remarkable architecture. Machu Picchu was once a thriving empire, densely populated and teeming with life and abundance. Today, it is uninhabited but after its discovery many years ago, tourists flock to this mountaintop empire to admire its beauty. Here are other equally magnificent yet abandoned towns and villages, which are worth visiting. Craco, Italy A series of natural disasters like landslides, flooding and earthquake has rendered the once-prosperous town of Craco uninhabitable. But its…
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    LIST OF THE DAY

  • Fun With Statues (Of The Day)

    Cary McNeal
    26 May 2015 | 9:45 am
    People are funny.
  • Amusing Detention Slips Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    12 May 2015 | 7:33 am
    More proof that we need to go back to spanking in schools. I got paddled in school and look how I turned out. Okay, bad example. "While involved in an elimination basketball game with Mr. Edwards' class, Brandon grabbed his crotch as if to say 'right here' to some of Mr. Edwards' students." "Thinks it's funny to pass gas while in the van. I've told him to stop, that it's not funny nor polite to
  • Glamour Shot Dudes Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    22 Apr 2015 | 6:34 am
    And you thought the women's pics were bad. Thanks for the idea, Teresa Metts and Liz Thayer. The love child of Bob Ross and Jeff Daniels. Hello for you. I am the Sergei. Elton John wants his outfit back by five. Bandito caliente! Some people really embraced the '90s. Not sure what's going on here and don't really want to know. This was the best shot of the batch? I
  • Classic Video Of The Day: Chairman Cracks Under Pressure

    Cary McNeal
    16 Apr 2015 | 7:21 am
    How have I missed this gem for the last seven years?
  • Sarcastic Sign Graffiti Of The Day, Vol. 2

    Cary McNeal
    13 Apr 2015 | 8:31 am
    God bless the smartasses of the world.
 
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    English Russia

  • Jumping from a Roof in a Court Yard

    tim
    27 May 2015 | 8:33 pm
    If you live in a house like this, and get bored a bit, you might try doing something like this too. No, just kidding, but nevertheless - take a look what this guy did in one of the courtyards of … Read more...
  • Unloading Truck in High Winds

    tim
    27 May 2015 | 6:54 pm
    This video was called "Unloading a vehicle in high winds" by its authors and there is nothing much to be added here, really. However, the show by itself is pretty much hilarious, you might want to take a look! They … Read more...
  • Crossing the River

    tim
    26 May 2015 | 6:16 pm
    Just a few photos showing how the heavy missile carrying trucks cross the river in modern Russian army these days in places where there are no bridges. Thanks for photos to this site: via
  • From old MAZ into MAZZY

    tim
    26 May 2015 | 5:49 pm
      Guys have took an old Soviet Minsk Auto Zavod (MAZ) truck and converted it into futuristic MAZZY hot rod truck which is here before you together with a few photos of the process.     Did you like this … Read more...
  • Mash Up

    tim
    25 May 2015 | 2:16 pm
    This is what can be called a "contemporary art". Russian "EUROVISION" song mixed up with recent Ukrainian chronicles. I am not sure who made this but it sends chills down a spine.
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    Strange Herring

  • “Giorgio Armani for Bruce Wayne”

    Anthony Sacramone
    28 May 2015 | 6:07 am
    And now it’s time for something completely different: a GQ interview with Giorgio Armani. I have one Armani suit, which I bought when I first started dating the woman who would become my wife, and so was willing to spend more on clothes than I had spent on housing to that point in my life. If you really want to know the difference between an Armani and even the finest suit bought off the rack, give it 15 years or so. The suit fits and looks like it was custom fit for me yesterday. Flawless. (The suit, not me.) An interesting excerpt: In the few days since I had seen him, I had been…
  • Community: Breaking the Fourth Wall and the Last Taboo

    Anthony Sacramone
    27 May 2015 | 5:49 pm
    They’re not on NBC anymore, and some of those people aren’t even on Yahoo! — just so you know. You’ve been watching season 6 of Community on Yahoo! Screen, correct? No? Forgot it was on? Didn’t know it was on? Never watched Community seasons 1–5? Whatever stage of denial you’re in, please stand alerted: I am going to reveal the plot twist for episode 12 (109 if you’re counting from the pilot). This very silly series featuring adults struggling to earn their degrees at Greendale Community College grew on me slowly, but once I was hooked, I was hooked for…
  • A Strange Play: In Which Antonin Scalia Does Not Appear as Himself

    Anthony Sacramone
    27 May 2015 | 11:50 am
    “They told me Vincent D’Onofrio was going to play me …” You read right. Rightly. Rightnifically. It’s a play in which the feature character is Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia. The indispensable City Journal has a review: Antonin Scalia is the only current member of the United States Supreme Court with a personality big enough to justify a stage play. And in playwright John Strand’s The Originalist, now playing at Washington’s Arena Stage, actor Edward Gero captures the justice’s gregarious charm without descending into caricature. It helps that Gero…
  • A Strange Preview: The End of the Tour

    Anthony Sacramone
    27 May 2015 | 10:38 am
    The End of the Tour  is based on the bestselling book by David Lipsky, “a novelist and contributing editor at Rolling Stone magazine [who] recounts his time spent with the author of Infinite Jest at the moment when Wallace realized his work would bring him fame, and that this would change his life.” The author of Infinite Jest, of course, is David Foster Wallace, played here by Jason Segel. Yes, that Jason Segel, of Freaks and Geeks and How I Met Your Mom and (Lord help us) Sex Tape. Will this put Segel on the map as one of those comic actors with untapped talent for serious,…
  • Strange Question of the Day: Where Are All the Space Aliens?

    Anthony Sacramone
    27 May 2015 | 9:10 am
    John Hodgman vs. the Fermi Paradox For the original TED2008 video sans Mystery Science Theater 3000 graphics, go here.Filed under: A Strange Question, Yes but Are They Here Legally?
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Ninja Mode

    awkward
    26 May 2015 | 9:55 pm
    “My brother and his wife couldn’t get any good pics for Easter because my nephew wouldn’t come out of ninja mode.” (via source) “My brother and his wife couldn’t get any good pics for Easter because my nephew wouldn’t come out of ninja mode.” (via source) The post Ninja Mode appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
  • Crazy Train

    awkward
    26 May 2015 | 9:47 pm
    The Osbornes. (via source) The Osbornes. (via source) The post Crazy Train appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
  • Castaway

    awkward
    26 May 2015 | 9:01 pm
    “My father in 1982. When I asked him what he was doing in this photo, he said, ‘Shooting an album cover. Duh.’” (via source) “My father in 1982. When I asked him what he was doing in this photo, he said, ‘Shooting an album cover. Duh.’” (via source) The post Castaway appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
  • How Many Licks

    awkward
    26 May 2015 | 8:56 pm
    “My mom let my brother go to get his senior pictures by himself. This is the result…” (via source) “My mom let my brother go to get his senior pictures by himself. This is the result…” (via source) The post How Many Licks appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
  • So Fresh

    awkward
    26 May 2015 | 8:56 pm
    “My cousin’s glam shot in the early 80′s when he was 5 yrs. old. He picked the outfit.” (via source) “My cousin’s glam shot in the early 80′s when he was 5 yrs. old. He picked the outfit.” (via source) The post So Fresh appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
 
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    FMyLife

  • jessiebear159 says FML

    jessiebear159
    28 May 2015 | 12:04 am
    Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML
  • drivingmecrazy says FML

    drivingmecrazy
    27 May 2015 | 6:28 pm
    Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML
  • smyp says FML

    smyp
    27 May 2015 | 3:27 pm
    Today, I was let go from my job, because "I progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and "I can find a better place to work at". FML
  • hellno says FML

    hellno
    27 May 2015 | 3:03 pm
    Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML
  • concom says FML

    concom
    27 May 2015 | 12:40 pm
    Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Cleveland Police Agree to Stop Hitting People on the Head With Guns

    Kevin
    27 May 2015 | 12:53 pm
    No, it's The Onion that makes up fake news stories, not me. In this case, I barely even had to tweak the headline: Cleveland Plain Dealer Seriously. According to the report, officers of the Cleveland Division of Police (CDP) hit people on the head with guns so routinely that the city has now had to enter into a binding contractual agreement saying that they aren't going to do that anymore: The Justice Department found in a 21-month investigation that began in 2013 that Cleveland police routinely bash people on the head with their guns, sometimes…
  • Is It Still Robbery If You Just Ask Nicely?

    Kevin
    27 May 2015 | 5:30 am
    Let's say you walk into a bank, go up to a teller and say something like, "Hi, I was just passing by your bank and thought I'd stop in and see if you'd be willing to give me some money. Could I have some money?" The teller looks at you for a minute and then gives you $28,000. You leave. Problem? According to this report, that'll be the issue in the trial of Michael Hadar, an Israeli man indicted a couple of weeks ago for robbing at least eight banks in the last five months. Here's what he did: In each case, his "modus operandi" was the same: He would walk into the bank and choose a…
  • Other Things to Read!

    Kevin
    22 May 2015 | 11:38 am
    Here are some reading recommendations for the holiday weekend (this assumes, of course, that you have already read carefully and in full each of the 3,396 posts and one book that I have spewed forth to date): Former federal prosecutor and current author Alison Leotta has a new novel out, called A Good Killing (Amazon, B&N). I haven't read this one yet but have read her earlier stuff and liked it a lot, even though there was not a single alien or spaceship in any of it. Especially if you like Grisham-style legal thrillers, get this one. David Lat of Above the Law has…
  • Police Report Says 12-Year-Old's Crime Was "Abated by Death" (After They Shot Him)

    Kevin
    21 May 2015 | 2:49 pm
    You hopefully recall the case of Tamir Rice, the sixth-grader killed by a Cleveland police officer last November even though the 911 caller who reported that the boy had a gun told the dispatcher it was "probably fake." This is the case where the police pulled up right next to the kid, hopped out and shot him within two seconds of stopping, and then knocked down and handcuffed his 14-year-old sister when she tried to run to him. All captured in the first two minutes of this surveillance-camera video. This doesn't make it worse, I guess, because how could it? But it's awful. Shaun…
  • Judge Ignores Defense Lawyer Because He Is an Owl

    Kevin
    21 May 2015 | 12:25 pm
    The caption in this KGMH report oversells the story a bit, but then so does my headline. The Aspen Times reported on May 19 that a man who was accused of violating a protective order brought a stuffed owl along with him and suggested that it was going to act as his defense attorney. Referring to the owl as "Solomon," presumably to suggest wisdom, Charles Abbott claimed that it had no fewer than three law degrees and was more responsive than a public defender was likely to be. "He's a very sensitive guy," Abbott told the judge, "[and] has law degrees from Yale, Harvard, and Stanford." He…
 
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    nonamedufus

  • Sometimes You Just Wanna Tell People STFU

    nonamedufus
    12 May 2015 | 3:30 pm
    "You're certainly not very loquacious, are you?" said Fred."Lowwhatchis?" responded Ed.(Notice the alliteration there? Alliterwhatshun? Never mind.)"You know. You're not very loquacious, not very talkative.""Huh?""You don't say much, you're not chatty or communicative.""Oh, I see. You think I'm not very voluble, expansive or garrulous. Well, let me tell you I can be gossipy, have the gift of the gab or be overly gassy. I used to be a real motormouth, talk, talk, talk. My mother always told me I must have been inoculated with a gramophone needle. I was so windy people thought a tornado touched…
  • Size Doesn't Matter

    nonamedufus
    10 May 2015 | 10:36 am
    Jane first met Jeffrey at Starbucks. She bumped into him, literally, in the queue. I like that word queue. Hard to spell though. Anyway, Jane bumped into Jeffrey from behind and when he turned around it was like the Friendly Giant was towering over her. That's a Canadian reference. If you're not Canadian, think Jolly Green Giant or the Hulk, but lose the green reference, because Jeffrey wasn't green. But he was friendly and jolly and as they sat together out of necessity at the one remaining table in the store, Jane had to laugh behind her hand because it looked like poor Jeffrey was sitting…
  • Bibliofile - April

    nonamedufus
    4 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    Well it was another fairly eclectic month on the reading front in April. Several novels from several of my favourite writers. A couple of music industry books. A behind the scenes movie-making book and a dud. That's right, a dud.I'd read Thomas Pynchon's Inherent Vice in March and although it was a bit of a tough read it had it's moments so I thought I'd give his Gravity's Rainbow a go. Mistake. This was the most complicated and difficult novel I've ever undertaken. I lasted about 150 pages and then threw in the towel...and the book.The latest Archer and Lehane efforts were excellent but then…
  • Timmy And His Teachable Moment

    nonamedufus
    29 Apr 2015 | 3:31 pm
    It was hard. Timmy's Dad always told him "Don't sweat the small stuff". And he didn't. Because none of it was small stuff to Timmy.It all started at swimming lessons when he was eight. His trunks slipped off in the pool. He was mortified when everyone laughed at him. But it wasn't just bad enough being a victim of ridicule when the incident occurred. It would chase him down the rest of his life because in that one quick moment he had earned the nickname PeeWee.About a year later, swimming lessons behind him for good, the baseball coach inquired why everyone called him PeeWee. PeeWee, er,…
  • One Is The Loneliest

    nonamedufus
    22 Apr 2015 | 11:45 am
    Harold lived alone. He rarely went out, having everything from his groceries to his prescriptions delivered to him. He liked to think of himself as mysterious but his high-rise neighbours were more apt to think of him as a recluse.Since his wife died a couple of years back, Harold gradually discovered the days grew longer without her, not to mention the nights. Coupled with taking his retirement several years ago, he was beginning to feel old. Hell, even his name bespoke another age. Harold? Really?The sole thing he took great pleasure in was slowly perusing the daily newspaper. None of those…
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    Ann's Rants

  • Sunday in The Park With Nancy

    Ann Imig
    9 May 2015 | 5:17 pm
    A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat Over twenty times in the past three days interviewers asked me questions like: Do you listen to your mother? What’s the best advice your mother ever gave you? Is your mother still with us? Do you think your mom had any influence on your creating Listen To Your Mother? Describe your mom in one word. Considering the seven years I’ve written a mom blog and the five years I’ve invested in a massive motherhood storytelling project, I share relatively little about my own mom. To start: I listen carefully to my…
  • I looked up the meaning of Ann because there isn’t enough going on with a new book and 38 shows.

    Ann Imig
    22 Apr 2015 | 12:47 pm
    I know you are so busy, but have you googled the meaning of your name? Look what I found for “Ann!” Talk about uncanny. I mean it’s close, but for the skeptics out there–I’m an Ann who knows how to spell “mouths.” Other things I’ve kept busy with when not haranguing you with unwarranted life-coaching: 1. You guys the book launch–well, it is so much more than a book and it was so much more than a launch. I wrote all about it here, and you can see gorgeous photos by Anna Palmer of Jennifer Lee Photography. photo by Anna Palmer for Jennifer…
  • The Listen To Your Mother Book is Born!! Happy pub day #LTYMBOOK!!

    Ann Imig
    7 Apr 2015 | 4:00 am
    Today is a defining day for me, for 55 additional contributors and for LTYM. Two years ago I got the first email from my agent Elizabeth Kaplan, and today LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER: What She Said Then, What We’re Saying Now hits bookshelves everywhere. There SO are many people to thank–especially my editor Liz Stein, my national LTYM team, over 100 director/producers across the country, everyone at Putnam Books–especially Stephanie Hargadon and Elena Hershey who coordinated the launch event with Book Court (with help from LTYM: NYC team of Amy Wilson, Elizabeth Robinson &…
  • Welcome Mats & No Soliciting Signs: A Passover Prayer

    Ann Imig
    3 Apr 2015 | 8:25 am
    The debutant spring came out this week. The belle of the ball swept into Madison on Monday, and with her a bouquet of stomach virus plaguing our home. Then, a knock at our door. Make that several knocks. Despite the “no soliciting” sign above our doorbell, once the snow melts window sellers, house-painters, and fund-raisers come knocking. In fairness, our stoop offers both a welcome mat and a no soliciting sign, because intermarriage. I think I hear Solicitor Brisket knocking from the fridge right now, yelling for me to get off the computer and prepare tonight’s Seder (and…
  • Author Advice: Save your Elle Magazines for 30 years for when you end up in Elle

    Ann Imig
    26 Mar 2015 | 7:24 am
    Now that I’m almost an author, I have some pretty sage advice to pass along. All that nostalgia you’ve been hoarding in your brain and in boxes over the years? Time to drag it out and parade it across the internet! Exhibit A: Save your 1980s-era Elle Magazines from when you were a PRETTY WITTY mustachioed Freshman in High School quietly terrorized by her OH BOY BEAUTY percentage of “male hormones,” and likely still reeling from THE SHOCK OF SHEER white swimming suit that allowed your camp friends to see your butt over the summer. That sweet girl couldn’t imagine…
 
 
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    The Good, Clean Funnies List

  • Proper Burial

    info@gcfl.net
    28 May 2015 | 12:00 am
    George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial. The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial would be very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5,000. The Consul told him that in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decided to bury the body there in…
  • Referee Debate

    info@gcfl.net
    27 May 2015 | 12:00 am
    As two NBA basketball referees walked through the countryside, they noticed some tracks. First said, "Deer tracks?" Second said, "No, bear tracks." However, the conversation ended abruptly when a train hit them. Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
  • Practicing

    info@gcfl.net
    26 May 2015 | 12:00 am
    Joe's wife liked to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." Received from Mikey's Funnies.
  • Quick

    info@gcfl.net
    25 May 2015 | 12:00 am
    Little Johnny burst into the drug store and shouted excitedly, "My father is being chased by a bull!" "What do you want me to do about it?" gasped the startled clerk. "Quick," Johnny exclaimed, "put a fresh roll of film in my camera." Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
  • Overbearing Friend

    info@gcfl.net
    22 May 2015 | 12:00 am
    My good friend is more aggressive at work than she realizes. After she had her annual performance review, I asked, "How did it go?" "They had written that I was overbearing," she replied with a shrug. "I made them take it off." From Reader's Digest, "All in a Day's Work" Received from Ed.
 
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    BugginWord

  • Reminder

    BugginWord
    22 May 2015 | 6:01 am
    Me: Whom do I love? Him: Me!! Me: Ayup! Him: And Sam! Me: I sure do. Him: And Daddy! Me: Very much. Him: And…YOU!   Thanks, kid. I needed that reminder. Also? Mark it down. It only took this kid three years, seven months, and nine days to surpass me in intelligence.   Other Related Ramblings You Might Enjoy:Life, The Universe & EVERYTHINGShit That Saved My Life As A New Parent (and Possibly My Child’s, Too)Can’t Help FallingWho Moved My Corn?Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs (Visited 12 times, 12 visits today)
  • Shit That Saved My Life As A New Parent (and Possibly My Child’s, Too)

    BugginWord
    6 Nov 2014 | 8:55 am
    Seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant.  I am, of course, super happy for them.  I’m also super happy for me.  Mostly because several of my high school classmates are posting pictures of their grandkids on Facebook.  It’s nice not be the only old lady defying evolution.  *uterus bumps* Several of these parasite hosts have asked, “What should we register for?”  My answer, usually, is that most of the general online lists have it right, more or less.  But I like specifics.  So do most of my friends.  And seeing as how you guys are my friends, also…
  • Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs

    BugginWord
    14 Apr 2014 | 8:34 am
    This morning, while waiting for the green light to condone another cup of espresso, I turned to my husband and whispered, “I’m drinking coffee.  Willingly.  I’m a suburban housewife that drives her TWO kids through the two-lane streets of Jersey.  In a minivan.  That drinks coffee.”  I glanced down at the now deflated foam of my cappuccino.  “What the fuck happened?” Changes.  Woof.  So to calm myself down (apparently drinking too much coffee can make you anxious – we coffee novices don’t know these things), I’ve compiled this list…
  • Five Years Time

    BugginWord
    19 Dec 2013 | 7:11 am
    Five years.  Some times that feels like five seconds.  Sometimes five lifetimes. It’s undergrad.  A novel.  An apprenticeship.  A marriage.  A thesis.  A prognosis.  A job.  A career.  A lifetime. A milestone. Normally, I wait and write about my trips to see Aloysius after they happen.  I suppose I’m a little superstitious and prefer to not jinx anything.  But today, this visit…it’s different.  Today I find out if I’m cured.  As in “cancer free.”  As in “no evidence of disease.”  As in “have a nice [long] life because…
  • Falling

    BugginWord
    6 Sep 2013 | 11:59 am
    There’s always something about the arrival of Fall that I find deeply comforting. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love Summer.  I love her reliability – her near-constant light and temperatures.  Once you hit 90, can you really discernibly tell if the temperature continues to rise? I love breezes, water, cold drinks (even the ones without alcohol in them) and frozen dairy on a stick.  I love grills, patios, porches, and blowing bubbles.  I love hiding in the shade during the brutal mid-day sun and maybe even catching a blanket-free catnap. I love Summer, but I love to…
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    Futility Closet

  • Destiny

    Greg Ross
    28 May 2015 | 7:29 am
    The pickle industry’s “man of the year” in 1948 was named Dill L. Pickle. I can’t think of anything to say about this. The post Destiny appeared first on Futility Closet.
  • In a Word

    Greg Ross
    27 May 2015 | 11:29 pm
    pseudery n. intellectual or social pretension or affectation; pseudo-intellectual speech, writing, debate, etc. literose adj. pretentiously or affectedly literary morosoph n. a learned fool The post In a Word appeared first on Futility Closet.
  • Howdunit

    Greg Ross
    27 May 2015 | 11:00 am
    Raymond Chandler’s 10 rules for writing a detective novel: It must be credibly motivated, both as to the original situation and the dénouement. It must be technically sound as to the methods of murder and detection. It must be realistic in character, setting and atmosphere. It must be about real people in a real world. It must have a sound story value apart from the mystery element: i.e., the investigation itself must be an adventure worth reading. It must have enough essential simplicity to be explained easily when the time comes. It must baffle a reasonably intelligent reader. The…
  • Parrondo’s Paradox

    Greg Ross
    26 May 2015 | 11:54 pm
    Imagine a staircase with 1001 stairs, numbered -500 to 500. You’re standing in the middle, on stair 0, and you want to reach the top. On each step you can play either of two coin-flipping games — if the result is heads then you move up a step; if it’s tails then you move down a step: In game 1 you flip coin A, which is slightly biased: It comes up heads 49.5 percent of the time and tails 50.5 percent. In game 2 you use two coins, B and C. Coin B produces heads 9.5 percent of the time and tails 90.5 percent. Coin C produces heads 74.5 percent of the time and tails 25.5…
  • “What’ll Be the Title?”

    Greg Ross
    26 May 2015 | 11:30 am
    O to scuttle from the battle and to settle on an atoll far from brutal mortal neath a wattle portal! To keep little mottled cattle and to whittle down one’s chattels and not hurtle after brittle yellow metal! To listen, non-committal, to the anecdotal local tittle-tattle on a settle round the kettle, Never startled by a rattle more than betel-nuts a-prattle or the myrtle-petals’ subtle throttled chortle! But I’ll bet that what’ll happen if you footle round an atoll is you’ll get in rotten fettle living totally on turtle, nettles, cuttle-fish or beetles, victuals…
 
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Funny movie quotes from Meet Me in St. Louis

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 5:55 am
    Funny movie quotes from Meet Me in St. Louis, starring Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien, Mary Astor, Marjorie Main Mrs. Anna Smith (Mary Astor): Sure, don’t mind what happens to your family. At a time like this you think about the chickens. Agnes Smith (Joan Carroll): Katie, where’s my cat? Katie the Maid (Marjorie Main): I don’t know… a little while ago, she got in my way and I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hitting on every step. Agnes Smith (Joan Carroll): Oh, if you killed her, I’ll kill you! I’ll stab you to death in your sleep, then I’ll tie…
  • Funny movie quotes from My Favorite Brunette

    admin
    27 May 2015 | 7:25 pm
    Funny movie quotes from My Favorite Brunette starring Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour, Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr. Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Uh oh, her schizo’s about to phrenia! Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): You see, I wanted to be a detective too. It only took brains, courage, and a gun… and I had the gun. Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): I’m at my wit’s end! Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): I passed there an hour ago. Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): How about it, Sam? Can I go to work for you? Just give me a simple “yes” or “no”. Sam McCloud: No. Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Aw, but that’s…
  • Funny movie quotes from Road to Bali

    admin
    27 May 2015 | 5:35 pm
    Funny movie quotes from Road to Bali (1952) starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour Harold Gridley (Bob Hope): He’s gonna sing, folks. Now’s the time to go out and get the popcorn. Princess Lala (Dorothy Lamour): Do you always fight over girls? Harold Gridley (Bob Hope): Well, what else can we fight over? We’ve never had any money [Looking stright into the camera] Harold Gridley (Bob Hope): That’s for Washington! [an female ape has sat on Harold’s lap] George Cochran (Bing Crosby): Oh, buster, I don’t like the look in her eye! [the ape swing a paw at George] Harold Gridley…
  • Around the World in Eighty Days funny quotes

    admin
    18 May 2015 | 6:51 pm
    Around the World in Eighty Days funny quotes (1956) Railway Official: There’s still fifty miles of track to be laid between here and Allabahad. Phileas Fogg: But the London newspapers announced the opening of this railway throughout. Railway Official: That must have been The Daily Telegraph. Never would have read that in The Times. Saloon Bouncer: Listen, you. Get out and stay out. If I ever catch you in here again, I’ll cut you up in a thousand pieces. Col. Proctor Stamp: What kind of foreigner are you? Are you a hoochie-coochie dancer? Saloon Hostess: Never be in a hurry. You’ll miss…
  • Funny movie quotes from The Outlaws is Coming

    admin
    18 May 2015 | 7:27 am
    Funny movie quotes from The Outlaws is Coming, the Three Stooges last feature film, a parody of the Western film, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Adam West Funny movie quotes from The Outlaws is Coming Rance Rodent: If anyone tries to stop us, they’re idiots … dead idiots [scene cuts to]Moe (Moe Howard): Alright you idiots, hurry up. Moe (Moe Howard): [talking about the skunk, Elvis] watch out now, he’s dangerous. Larry (Larry Fine): I don’t trust you, either. Kenneth Cabot (Adam West): Boys, please, I’m working. Moe (Moe Howard): That’s all right, Mr. Cabot,…
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • Pooping While on Acid

    Ben Tracy
    25 May 2015 | 8:00 pm
    Article by Ben Tracy It's taken me a lot to get to this point: taking a poop while on acid. But I felt as if this should be documented for the world to know. For those of you who never intend to drop acid, this is what it means to poop while tripping: everything. It means everything. I cannot explain this in greater detail as my senses only allow me this much but it is everything. There are people crying in the room next to me, but all I must do is breathe. And poop. Breathe then poop. Time is heightened so it feels as if I am releasing a poop that has been inside me since the Middle Ages. I…
  • The SNL and Game of Thrones Controversies are Sucking the Life Out of TV

    Michael Winston
    20 May 2015 | 8:00 pm
    Article by Michael Winston This past weekend there was a lot of controversy over subject matter on two popular television programs. A quick search for either "SNL controversy" or "Game of Thrones controversy" will yield the necessary context if you're not already aware. The reason these issues generated any notoriety seems to stem from widely available public access to digital soapboxes. The voiceless (who should remain so) armed with Shift+3 can express outrage over anything they see/hear, and all of a sudden the angry mob with torches and pitchforks is digitally…
  • The Most Exciting Relationship I've Ever Had

    Joe Cabello
    18 May 2015 | 7:27 pm
    Article by Joe Cabello Two months into my relationship with Jen I started to get bored.She didn't have any hobbies or interests, so beyond numbly watching reality TV, and the occasional sex, we didn't do much together. She wasn't ugly or anything, but nothing about her particularly stood out either. She was plainly pretty.I had planned on breaking up with her that week, but that's when she changed everything.One fateful night she actually suggested that we go out to a bar. It was an OK time. Nothing spectacular happened, but we did end up having lots to drink, so despite my impending boredom,…
  • Infrequently Answered Questions

    Kerreanna DiMauro
    16 May 2015 | 11:57 am
    Article by Kerreanna DiMauro Q: Why doesn't the Earth fall down?A: The Earth does fall down. In fact, the Earth is constantly falling down. It's a good thing too, because it would look pretty silly standing still, doing nothing. Gravity is a funny thing. An artiste! I'm serious. You should see Gravity's standup—really organic and deadpan. You can catch him at the open mic this Saturday night as part of a cluster of storytelling activities including bawdy jokes, sketches, and book burning. An uplifting hour!Q: PINK STARBURST. Culinary genius?A: Pink IS the best color/flavor. The red one is…
  • When You Regret 95% of Everything You Have Ever Said

    Mike Bellinger
    13 May 2015 | 3:17 pm
    Article by Mike Bellinger Ouch! Wheredid that come from? You were happily minding your own business when all of a sudden, it hit you. Why in Hades did you say that? A whole five years have passed since the utterance first departed your lips and you moved on to an existence with a fairly clear mind and conscience, yet you now find yourself cringing as though the last five years never happened. As though what you said all those years ago has just been pulled—warm if a little over-cooked—from the oven for the very first time, and is now stinking up the kitchen all over again. Can you relate…
 
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • Battle of the Rising Sun - artwork by Daniel Grant Newton

    Daniel Newton
    27 May 2015 | 9:36 pm
    'Battle of the Rising Sun' by Daniel Grant Newton Hey friend!!  I've created a new art piece for you!.. and this one comes with a mystery. I call it "Battle of the Rising Sun", because the samurai and the warrior depicted are both in the Land of the Rising Sun, and are also literally battling at sunrise. So the name seemed fitting. Now for the mystery...  It appears that both warriors
  • The Something That Fell From The Sky - short story and art piece created by Daniel Grant Newton

    Daniel Newton
    21 May 2015 | 8:39 pm
    'Death on a Cow' - artwork by Daniel Grant Newton Happy Friday!! I've got two cool things to share with you for the price of one.  Oh, you're not paying?  Well, this is awkward. :-/ Anyway, today you can enjoy both my new drawing to your left, aptly called 'Death on a Cow'... because it is a picture of Death.  Riding a cow.  In the Countryside.  Naturally. And the short story (below) that
  • My Crazy Failed 'About Me' page - in celebration of my 4th year of blogging

    Daniel Newton
    15 May 2015 | 8:24 pm
    Hey hey hey! Daniel Grant Newton - artist, writer, blogger. As I said in my review of the last four years of blogging (click here to read that article), the first post I ever made on this blog was an attempt to do an About Me page. Essentially, it turned out to be a story about ninjas trying to get an About Me page out of me, and failing.  That was four years ago to this day. A couple of
  • Four Years of Blogging: My Story

    Daniel Newton
    14 May 2015 | 5:53 am
    Hey there!! An early photoshopped pic I did of me :-) As I was going through my blog posts a few weeks ago I realised something a little special.   This Saturday will be four years since I shakily uploaded my first blog article. As if I were a forgetful (read: neglectful) husband, and the blog were my patient ever-loving wife, I always somehow manage to forget our anniversary.   But not
  • Fantasy Steampunk Western Romance ... artwork by Daniel Grant Newton

    Daniel Newton
    7 May 2015 | 8:16 pm
    A fantasy steampunk art piece by Daniel Grant Newton (currently untitled) Hello friends!   Another art piece to share with you.  This idea came to me as my mind wandered and I was compelled to create it for you. To me, it represents some of the greatest feelings in life: adventure, freedom and romance. I love how the lovers are so in appreciation of each other, and the dragon dog
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    Mitchieville

  • From the Desk of the Darklord

    Fenris Badwulf
    26 May 2015 | 1:20 pm
    Poor Big Red. If only she had consulted a reputable astrologer to warn her of the her choice of hair color. Now she is famous as the face of harpy feminism. Oh well. You can hunt down her multiplying images across the internet. Physically, she seems to have dropped off the face of the planet. I suspect she has changed her hair color. Probably works in Human Resources somewhere where she can castrate men in a official capacity. Poor Bahar Mustafa. Kinda kicked up a shit storm with her #Killallwhitemen indiscretion. Scotland Yard is investigating, apparently. While not as cartoonable as Big Red…
  • Summer Travel Plans

    Fenris Badwulf
    22 May 2015 | 8:58 am
    After some thought, family plans to vacation in Baltimore have been cancelled. After all, if the progressives cannot actually pay their minions, then why go paid protesting? I was so looking forward to taking advantage of the cheap hotel rates brought on by the economic collapse in that city. So, the next question that comes up at the family dining table is where to go vacation. Gosh, I do not have a crystal ball, but I suspect that the racist, black killing police will be adopting a hands off, ’safe space for looting’ approach to law enforcement. Which is to say, there will be a…
  • The Canadian Pan-Nationalist Party

    Fenris Badwulf
    8 May 2015 | 8:44 am
    Down at the offices of the Canadian Pan-Nationalist Party, there was excitement and much guzzling of liquor as the results of the British election rolled in. Aside from the potential of more statist money flowing into the coffers of the party (statists are incredibly incompetent at noticing details like the fact that our organization is in a country, state, province, city, municipality, and/or continent different from them), the prospect of legitimacy for Scottish nationalism made everybody happy. Also, we just got a fat cheque, er, check, from some city in Amerikkka for street youth…
  • Cooking with Fenris

    Fenris Badwulf
    1 May 2015 | 8:13 am
    These balmy, hot and humid post Global Warming May days call for some greasy local meat done up with some taters and roots from the cellar. Locavores will want to go with the plentiful Squirrel, Raccoon, or Ground Hog that infest our modern cities. I sure do like the rasvainen ja sitkeä taste of this Finnish delicacy that the Finns loved to serve to their Russian guests. Here is what you need: 3 lb skinless, boneless Squirrel, Raccoon, or Ground Hog, cut up into bite size pieces 1 cup onion, coarsely chopped. You can keep the peelings for the compost bucket. 4 medium carrots, peeled and…
  • #Twitterfail

    The Mayor
    30 Apr 2015 | 4:57 am
    Twitter shares fell nearly 20% Tuesday night after a financial service company posted Twitter revenue, first-quarter earnings, and user figures: Revenue jumped 74 percent from the year-earlier period, but the total was worse than even the most pessimistic of the 36 analyst estimates compiled by Thomson Reuters. The company’s second-quarter revenue outlook of $470 million to $485 million was also well below the average Wall Street forecast of $538 million. “We anticipate the factors that affected our first-quarter results will also affect our 2015 guidance,” Twitter CEO Dick…
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    Words, Pictures, Humor

  • #FridayReads

    drewdernavich
    22 May 2015 | 8:03 am
  • Word wizarding

    drewdernavich
    13 Apr 2015 | 3:42 pm
    I did a bit of self-correction on my most recent published cartoon, I think for the better. This is a way-too-long explanation of it, but it’s not my typical gag. Last month I was thinking about wizards, as cartoonists sometimes find themselves doing, and how their robes are portrayed with moons and stars and planets and such. There was something to that, I thought; like maybe they were better suited to being astronomers. Or weathermen, which is funnier. I don’t know what those numbers are to the right of him, but I think that for a minute I was considering a stock market wizard,…
  • Holding the mustard

    drewdernavich
    13 Apr 2015 | 1:39 pm
    I’m not sad to see winter say goodbye, but I am disappointed that I’ll have nowhere to write my initials in the snow. For a few months, at least.
  • Speaking of speech

    drewdernavich
    25 Mar 2015 | 10:44 pm
    Recently I was asked by my alma mater to participate in a panel discussion regarding the many threats to free speech at the hands of terrorism.  We are all acquainted with the brutal and troubling ways in which this threat has played out in recent months. The panel happens April 6 at The College of William & Mary, so if you’re in the area, feel free to stop by and say hello. The alumni magazine thought it would be great to do a cover story on the same topic, and it made sense that I’d illustrate it. In terms of imagery, there are few things that have been done to death as…
  • SX Redux

    drewdernavich
    25 Mar 2015 | 8:46 pm
    I went to SXSW once again this year under strange circumstances – long story short, I was supposed to perform but it fell through but I still ended up going to the music portion (which is what I like anyway). I had a fake press conference: and I told Ronald McDonald what I thought of the fact that they weren’t handing out free Egg McMuffins despite the fact that they advertised their huge-ass music and food tent with a picture of an Egg McMuffin: and I fed “Southie,” the foam Colombian radio mascot who apparently cannot hold his queso: And I took some Instagram band…
 
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    Iced Borscht » Iced Borscht

  • Examining the Cult of Ideological Laziness

    MC
    17 May 2015 | 11:48 am
    One of my biggest beefs with progressives — besides the baked-in authoritarianism of their ideology — is how infrequently you see prog voices in media or social media doing any sort of critical self-analysis. Almost zero energy is spent looking inward and examining progressivism’s flaws. Instead, we get reams of groupthink and tribalism. And if those of us outside the enlightened progressive spectrum dare critique its monolithic shit factory, we can expect to be characterized as racist/sexist monsters, or low-information voters — or whatever — and punished…
  • The Paradoxical Commandments

    MC
    17 May 2015 | 11:19 am
    Food for thought: People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few…
  • Hey Guys

    MC
    14 May 2015 | 7:45 pm
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    28 May 2015 | 10:04 am
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    28 May 2015 | 10:04 am
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    28 May 2015 | 10:04 am
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    28 May 2015 | 10:04 am
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    28 May 2015 | 10:04 am
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
 
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    Thoughts From Paris - True Stories - Funny Blog | RSS Feed

  • Bloggers are Weird Podcast – Aussa Lorens – Hacker Ninja Hooker Spy

    D.J. Paris
    21 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    Award-winning blogger Aussa Lorens talks about her crazy family (which puts your crazy family to shame), her crazy exes (way crazier than your exes), and how thankful she is that her co-workers don’t realize she writes a blog. How to listen to Bloggers are Weird: iTunes Subscribe on Android Or just watch it on YouTube if you’re confused on how to fire up a podcast. It’s okay that you’re not smart.
  • I’m Speaking at BlogU 2015 and I Have New Cards to Impress Everyone

    D.J. Paris
    12 May 2015 | 7:01 am
    They are even super thick with a blue border around the edge because I’m a fancy shit. Impressed by my new cards? Excuse me – my new “I’m so cool I don’t even need to put links to my website, social media, or TracFone number on my cards” cards? Quick sidebar – About a year ago a PR company saw that I had a big Twitter following and called a meeting. We brainstormed a few ideas on how I could write funny stuff for their clients. One of the clients was TracFone to which I immediately said aloud, “This would be a great campaign since I’m not…
  • Bloggers are Weird Podcast – Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms Interview D.J.

    D.J. Paris
    9 May 2015 | 3:48 pm
    D.J. turns over the show to Ellen Williams and Erin Dymowski of Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms who ask me about my favorite subject – me. Come see the three of us at BlogU where we’re presenting a session on how and why you need to podcast. Listen to their podcast Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms Soundbites here! How to listen to Bloggers are Weird: iTunes Subscribe on Android Or just watch it on YouTube if you’re confused on how to fire up a podcast. It’s okay that you’re not smart.
  • Bloggers are Weird Podcast – Sarah Fader – Stigma Fighters – 3 Year Olds Are Assholes

    D.J. Paris
    1 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    Sarah Fader reads from her newest book 3 Year Olds Are Assholes and also discusses how her website and passion project StigmaFighters is changing the way we look at mental illness. We yenta it up for about an hour! How to listen to Bloggers are Weird: iTunes Podcast App on Mobile Device Or just watch it on YouTube if you’re confused on how to fire up a podcast. It’s okay that you’re not smart.
  • I Could Have Sold Wiener Pills for Earth, Wind, and Fire

    D.J. Paris
    24 Apr 2015 | 7:00 am
    Now that I’m looking at the combination of the band and my professionalism, I may have made the wrong decision. This just works. About fifteen years ago I found myself sitting in my parent’s backyard having beers with a guy I knew from grade school. I had been traveling around the country working for a beer company doing marketing but my contract was now up. The only job prospect I had was from Pfizer who had called and asked if I wanted to tour with Earth, Wind, and Fire. Now, even though I’m a competent guitar player,  the band wasn’t looking to feature my solo…
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    Daniel Drummond Harvey

  • Theresa May’s Extremism Bill

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    28 May 2015 | 9:04 am
    Today I sent the following email to the Home Secretary, Theresa May: Dear Theresa May, I am sure, like me, you thoroughly enjoyed the State Opening of Parliament and the Queen’s Speech yesterday. Isn’t the Queen a lovely old lady? It was a pure delight to see Her Majesty with her husband (Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh), her son (Charles, Prince of Wales) and her daughter-in-law (Camilla), looking resplendent in all their finery. In fact, I enjoyed the Queen’s Speech so much that I couldn’t resist reading the full 103 page document “The Queen’s Speech…
  • David Cameron’s legal revelations

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    21 May 2015 | 11:19 am
    Today I sent the following email to our Prime Minister, David Cameron: Dear Prime Minister, I am writing to say how much I enjoyed your speech this morning on controlling immigration. As usual, everything you said made a great deal of sense. I was particularly impressed with the following: “So we’ll take a radical step – we’ll make illegal working a criminal offence…So if you’re involved in illegal working – you’re breaking the law.” Congratulations on taking a tough stance on this. It’s about time! I must admit, I had been under the impression that if a person…
  • In praise of adhesive tape

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:48 am
    I recently wrote to Astrid Lejeune, Secretary General of Afera, the European Adhesive Tape Association. This is what I wrote: Dear Astrid Lejeune, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for the adhesive tape industry in Europe. Some people prefer other adhesive products. Not me! I prefer adhesive tape. If one runs out of adhesive tape when wrapping gifts, “No More Nails® Heavy Duty Instant Grab Construction Adhesive” is an entirely unsuitable alternative. It can cause significant damage to both the wrapping paper and the gift itself. However, while the damage to the…
  • The Homebase Long Reach Watering Can

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to Paul Loft, Managing Director of Homebase: Dear Paul Loft, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for Homebase, the leading home enhancement retailer selling over 38,000 products for the home and garden (I didn’t count them myself! I took this information on trust from your website). One could say that I have one home and two gardens – however, this is not as strange as it sounds; I simply have both a front garden and a back garden. I tend to refer to the front garden as “the front garden” and the back garden as, simply,…
  • A problem with “The Jeremy Kyle Show”

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:05 am
    I recently wrote to Jon Millership, producer of the ITV1 daytime television show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”. This is what I wrote to him: Dear Jon Millership, I am a big fan of the show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, in which guests attempt to resolve personal problems with the aid of the show’s host, Jeremy Kyle. I particularly like the show’s emphasis on traditional family values (as you may know, traditional family values are currently being eroded). Considering how many people he has helped on “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, I am surprised that Jeremy Kyle…
 
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    Now That's Nifty

  • If Animals Were Inflated With Air

    8 May 2015 | 10:57 am
    This is why my mom never let me play with the tire air pump. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Every Shot Hit at TPC Sawgrass' 17th hole on 5/7/15

    8 May 2015 | 10:42 am
    Like golf? Like rainbows? Check out this video of every shot at the TPC Sawgrass' 17th hole on 5/7/2015. A 123-yard par 3. Nothing more than a cut-down pitching wedge for PGA Tour pros. And still --... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Phone that Runs on Coke

    7 May 2015 | 3:43 pm
    This seems like a perfectly good waste of Coke to me, but I like Diet Mountain Dew, so I suppose this is a non issue. As a result of my research, I discovered that conventional phone batteries are:... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Revenge of the Fifth

    5 May 2015 | 10:27 am
    ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • What is May the 4th? Star Wars Day?

    4 May 2015 | 10:23 am
    What is May the 4th? Star Wars Day? Star Trek: Voyager's Tim Russ explains everything you wanted to know about The Star Wars and the power of The Fourth. May The Fourth Be With You!   ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
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    mark a rayner

  • Ask General Kang: My tinfoil hat isn’t keeping out the voices — what do I do?

    Mark A. Rayner
    28 May 2015 | 9:14 am
    The first thing to remember, in the immortal words of Douglas Adams, is: “Don’t Panic!” Hearing voices is a common occurrence for über-chimps who are just starting to come out of the psionic latency period. What is happening is you are hearing the thoughts of other apes around you, but your mind is not capable […]
  • Why Canadians celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday

    Mark A. Rayner
    18 May 2015 | 9:42 am
    Here in Canada we celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday, and it is known as Victoria Day. Why? She has been dead for more than 110 years, and our current Queen has now been reigning almost as long as Vicky did. I mean, Canada barely has anything to do with the monarchy anymore. Do we celebrate this […]
  • Introducing the Venkman Brothers

    Mark A. Rayner
    15 May 2015 | 4:02 am
    Herbetron and Merculia Venkman came from a proud line of Norwegian clowns, and were determined to climb to dizzying heights in America. They gazed at the ocean, their white chins pointed up with pride, their red noses threatening to fly off in the stiff Atlantic breeze. Herbetron, in particular, had a vision. He could see […]
  • They say talent skips a generation

    Mark A. Rayner
    11 May 2015 | 7:20 am
    Vlastic Tesla was the illegitimate son of Nikola Tesla. Nikola invented the alternating current system, the induction motor, lightning rods, electro-mechanical oscillators, the Tesla coil, the Bifilar coil, robotics and the electronic logic gate, wireless technology, radio astronomy, the teleforce particle beam weapon, and known for his theoretical work in rotating magnetic fields, telegeodynamics, space […]
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    Chandra Clarke

  • Do Not Try This At Home

    Chandra Clarke
    26 May 2015 | 7:38 am
    Chandra Clarke I have detected a bit of envy in people when I tell them I can work from home from time to time. This might be because I live in Canada, and generally a commute in January, in Canada, can be rough. And clearly I don’t need to commute. No, I roll out of bed some […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Bathroom Break

    Chandra Clarke
    12 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    Chandra Clarke We’ve had indoor plumbing for what, 200 years now? More than that if you go back past the Middle Ages and into the Greek and Roman eras. So why are modern bathrooms so poorly designed? If you’ve stayed in any number of hotels lately, you know what I mean. Public access bathrooms aren’t much better; […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Tough to Moove

    Chandra Clarke
    28 Apr 2015 | 7:04 am
    Chandra Clarke We all lead busy lives and I know it’s hard to keep up with important, cutting edge news. I consider it my duty to keep you informed, so, this just in: You cannot tip a cow. Margo Lillie, a doctor of zoology at the University of British Columbia in Canada, and her student Tracy Boechler […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Spring Forward, Fall Back

    Chandra Clarke
    14 Apr 2015 | 7:06 am
    Chandra Clarke Ah, spring. [Cue the music from Beethoven’s Pastorale.] The snow is melting, the birds are chirping and [cue the horrible sound of a symphony grinding to a halt] your taxes are due. Here in Canada, we are being inundated with cheery television advertisements showing us how easy and fun (fun!) it is to file our […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • It’s a Living… I Guess

    Chandra Clarke
    31 Mar 2015 | 7:30 am
    Chandra Clarke Every once in a while — okay, lately it seems like daily — I discover that I’m going about this whole making a living, putting food on the table business the hard way. For example, apparently there are people who apparently make very good money as… eyebrow stylists. When I first heard about this job, I […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
 
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    Love and Knuckles

  • Real Housewives of New York Recap: Happy Booze Day

    Kate
    27 May 2015 | 10:38 am
    Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Happy Booze Day HANG ON WHILE I COUGH UP A LUNG Ramona was sick, but it wouldn’t deter her evening plans. Don’t mind me, Dorinda, while I cough up copious amounts of mucus. Mama needs to go out and find herself some action. Although Mario wanted her temporarily back she wasn’t going to take a detour from her current low-budget version of Sex and The City. He wanted his family back now, but that could change depending on how deep he was submerged that week into his post mid-life crisis. ABOVE BOARD Carole was under the assumption that…
  • Southern Charm Finale Recap

    Kate
    26 May 2015 | 8:23 pm
    SOUTHERN CHARM FINALE RECAP CRAIG’S GROWING UP For once Craig wasn’t the drunken mess. Normally the day after a soiree he’d be sitting in a puddle of watered down rum and cokes in his kitchen with a half-eaten bag of Doritos beside him. But he’d changed since he was unceremoniously fired from his paralegal telecommuting position. Now he could understand why sober people would have concerns when someone drinks from a flask they keep buried in their slim-fit khakis. Maybe it’s not a good idea to engage bystanders in a conga line everywhere you go? Did he need to…
  • If You Take Your Daughter to Annie The Musical…

    Kate
    23 May 2015 | 7:38 am
    Maybe It Was a Mistake Taking My Kid To This Musical? I always liked the movie Pretty Woman until I took a college course on women in film. I thought it was a beautiful love story about a poor woman who meets a nice businessman who gives her plenty of money to go shopping. It was my professor who pointed out it is really about a prostitute who meets a man on the street, gets to stay in a four star hotel in Beverly Hills, and is ultimately rescued off the streets when he realizes she looks nice when she takes a bath and stops wearing hooker clothes. Talk about a buzzkill. “You guys…
  • A Letter to ABC About The Bachelorette

    Kate
    20 May 2015 | 1:18 pm
    A Letter to ABC About The Bachelorette Dear ABC, You did it again. You roped me into watching this season’s premiere of The Bachelorette because Chris Harrison promised me it would be historic. I would like to address a couple of observations before I commit to watching any more episodes. Remember the old days when you used to scour the country for people who were single and successful and carried on normal jobs? This season’s double Bachelorettes are a waitress who lives in Hollywood and a hip hop dance instructor from Canada.  I am calling B.S. on more than half of these…
  • Real Housewives of New York Recap: It Never Ends

    Kate
    19 May 2015 | 9:39 pm
    Real Housewives of New York Recap: It Never Ends THE BIRTHDAY THAT NEVER ENDS Ramona was still celebrating her birthday. She threw an intimate post-Atlantic City soiree with her 30 closet girlfriends who include a facial construction worker and three women who were probably her clients. As Bethenny pointed out, they weren’t really her peeps. If you want to roll with Ramona you should own a fur, implants, diamond bracelets, and an updated nose. Bethenny stayed clear of Heather who still liked to address her as “mama” despite barely knowing her. “I think she calls people…
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    The Idle Lord

  • The Great White Hope

    Steve
    22 May 2015 | 12:56 am
    Next week our overseas player finally arrives at the Villas, one month late but with high hopes from many and a bit of trepidation from some of us, old enough to remember past ventures down this rocky road. As nominated landlord for the next four months, I have taken on yet another nickname, that of […] Continue reading ... The Great White Hope.
  • Politics of the Mud Hut.

    Steve
    15 May 2015 | 6:23 am
    Now the election is all over the real argy-bargy has started and it seems there are some very unhappy ex-MPs, especially in Bradford East and Bradford West. Claims and counter-claims over the process are rife. How strange that we have spent decades trying to spread the principles of democracy around the world and that here, […] Continue reading ... Politics of the Mud Hut..
  • Beer Clouds Maybe But Every Cloud Has…

    Steve
    8 May 2015 | 6:09 am
    The forecast was clear for all to see and the clouds duly amassed around the appointed time of one o’clock as stumps were pitched. Marsy led us out into the cold, damp air followed closely behind by eager opposition batters. Our only consolation was that surely, beers were not that far away. Taking strike was […] Continue reading ... Beer Clouds Maybe But Every Cloud Has….
  • Final Countdown.

    Steve
    1 May 2015 | 7:01 am
    Only one more week to go and we are facing the prospect of the Two Eds; personally the Two Ronnies would have run the country better. Worse still Jimmy Krankie looks like she will have Ed’s balls tighter than the unions. Now I know Cameron is a weak, limp posh-boy ex-Etonian but, honestly, he does […] Continue reading ... Final Countdown..
  • Vote Me!

    Steve
    24 Apr 2015 | 5:53 am
    Along with the early buds of spring come weeds, slugs and parasites; so it seems at the local church where mindless idiots are abusing the beautiful grounds. Unbelievably, these morons are riding motorbikes over graves. Added to this the local T&A describes “…littering…with cigarette butts and beer cans and irresponsible dog owners failing to clean-up […] Continue reading ... Vote Me!.
 
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    Barb Best

  • Bugs Bunny’s Bookshelf: 7 Titles Found

    Barb Best
    23 May 2015 | 6:30 am
       What titles can be found on Bugs Bunny ‘s bookshelf? Living Vegetarian For Dummies by Suzanne Havala Hobbs Hollywood Be Thy Name, the 1999 biography of the Warner brothers Confessions of a Professional Smart-Ass by John Kelso Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies: A Complete Illustrated Guide to the […] The post Bugs Bunny’s Bookshelf: 7 Titles Found appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Alert Bracelets for The Rest of Us

    Barb Best
    16 May 2015 | 6:30 am
      ALERT! We have Medical Alert Bracelets for medical conditions, allergies, medications. According to Medic Alert Foundation “Who Should Wear A Medical ID” Including anyone with: Alzheimer’s, Blood thinners (Coumadin, Warfarin), Diabetes, Food Allergies, Heart disease, Asthma, COPD, Drug allergies, Epilepsy. BUT… How about Alert Bracelets for the people we really need to be aware […] The post Alert Bracelets for The Rest of Us appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Funny Mom Flicks 4 Mother’s Day

    Barb Best
    9 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    Funny Flicks! FUNNY MOMS! Enjoy a laugh or fifty-two with your kids! Funny MOM movies for Mother’s day! Some of our faves… Freaky Friday Jamie Lee Curtis – she’s the mother, she’s the daughter, she’s the mother in the daughter’s body, she’s the daughter in the mother’s body?  Whatever!  Gosh, role reversal comedies are confusing! […] The post Funny Mom Flicks 4 Mother’s Day appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 7 Things I Learned This Week

    Barb Best
    2 May 2015 | 6:30 am
      7 Things I Learned this week… for better or worse.   * According to Time Magazine, I have recurrent back pain ’cause I have a Chimpanzee-shaped spine and really have no business walking upright on two feet.  However, this does not explain why I have bunions. * It is possible to break your #1 […] The post 7 Things I Learned This Week appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Dear FOOD NETWORK

    Barb Best
    25 Apr 2015 | 7:05 am
      Dear Food Network, Thank you for teaching my kids how to cook fancy schmancy. The vast culinary knowledge they have acquired lounging in front of the TV and laptop (love your website) has raised the chow bar to quite a sophisticated level. Unfortunately, they leave 99% of the actual cooking to moi.     […] The post Dear FOOD NETWORK appeared first on Barb Best.
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Why Ditzy Girls Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse (maybe)

    Amy Vansant
    26 May 2015 | 8:36 am
    Turns out I’m kind of ditzy. I’m not saying that to brag. I know it is a thing sometimes for girls to exclaim how featherbrained they are and then titter, pearly-whites flashing, eyes flirty. I hate that.  Being flighty isn’t anything to be proud of, but it isn’t the end of the world, either. And, well…it isn’t something I can change anyway so it doesn’t matter.  I know this because my whole life my mother said: “Just slow down and think before you move or speak.” To which I would reply: “If I could remember to take a beat and slow…
  • FREE Romantic Comedy – Mystery Kindle Novel

    Amy Vansant
    17 May 2015 | 9:39 pm
    If you haven’t already gotten your hot little hands on a copy of my romantic comedy/mystery Pineapple Lies, you’ll be happy to know the Kindle version is FREE today through Tuesday May 19th! It spent most of the weekend as Amazon’s #1 free download and the reviews are in! Get Pineapple Lies for FREE NOW! A HUGE thank you to any and all of you who downloaded, read and reviewed, and a big hello to those of you who stopped by my web site and signed up for my newsletter! Promise most of the mailings aren’t self-promotional. A few reviews… Loved the book, once I…
  • Are Promoted Pins on Pinterest Worth it? For Authors?

    Amy Vansant
    5 May 2015 | 4:29 am
    Today I’m trying to be helpful instead of funny, so forgive me if you’re here for the jokes! Pinterest recently rolled out “Promoted Pins” where you can turn one of your pins into an ad that will appear on other people’s feeds. Each time someone clicks on your Promoted Pins it costs you money, but also may get you repinned (exposure!) or get you a sale. I thought I’d test it as a promotional tool for authors because really, I’m just not happy if I’m not throwing my money away trying to figure out how to sell more books.  Here are my…
  • 50th Wedding Anniversary Idea – Balloonageddon

    Amy Vansant
    28 Apr 2015 | 1:25 pm
    What do you get the parents who have everything? Do they have balloons hidden all over their house? Some with faces? I didn’t think so. For my parent’s 50th I sneaked into their home with the intention of hanging streamers and then filling their small guest bathroom with balloons so when they opened the door…BALLOON SHOWER! Sadly, the air mattress pump I brought to fill the balloons didn’t have the cajones to blow up the seventy-five balloons I’d bought for this purpose, and if you’ve ever blown up a bunch of balloons you know the unique combination of…
  • The Fox Says Aiieeyeeee!

    Amy Vansant
    17 Apr 2015 | 4:04 am
    My neighborhood, which is already a wild kingdom, has attracted a pair of foxes. The bait was probably the people down the street who keeps chickens. Er…I mean kept chickens. Rest their little chicken souls. At first their appearance was adorable (to me, not so much the chickens). We caught the cutie pictured on the right here sun-napping in the neighbor’s yard. We think he and his lady are having kits (the baby fox type, not ships in a bottle) in the creepy guy’s yard two houses down. His backyard is an untouched jungle hellhole. I’m 90% sure they filmed…
 
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    Teds Woodworking

  • Free Woodworking Plans Nz

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:41 am
    Free plans build bunk bed | ehow, A multitude of free woodworking plans online detail how to build a bunk bed. in addition to free standard twin and loft bed plans, woodworking and. Dusty – definition dusty free dictionary, An old politician and a young politician were travelling through a beautiful country, by the dusty highway which leads to the city of prosperous obscurity.. Master plan – definition master plan free dictionary, Master plan n. a plan giving comprehensive guidance or instruction. master plan n 1. a comprehensive long-term strategy mas′ter plan′ n. a general…
  • Outdoor Wooden Bench With Storage Plans

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:40 am
    Belham living richmond 51-. curved- outdoor wood, Comments about coral coast richmond curved back outdoor wood storage bench: this bench is very sturdy and looks great! it is heavy and hopefully will last a long time.. Bench storage woodworking plan wood magazine, Bench with storage, woodworking plans, furniture, seating, wood issue 205, july 2011, 2011, simple, hall & entryway, shaker. Hall tree storage bench woodworking plan wood magazine, Hall tree storage bench, woodworking plans, furniture, seating, cabinets & storage, wood issue 198, july 2010, 2010, intermediate, hall &…
  • Woodworking Plans Exterior Door

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:39 am
    Building exterior wood door | fine homebuilding, It depends on the type of door you’re looking for. i had a neighbor who made a "slab" door from 2×6 tongue & groove cedar cardecking. he held it together with 2. A guide wood species | jeld-wen doors & windows, Wood is proving to be a classic, enduring and eye-catching feature that has struck a chord with people who want to stand out from the crowd and live in a house that. Ed wood-plan 9 outer space (plan 9 del espacio, Siguiendo con lo clasico, aqui traigo una pelicula de "culto" de el llamado "peor…
  • Diy Wooden Wedding Signs

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:39 am
    Diy wedding ideas – weddingbee tutorials templates., Create diy centerpieces, favors, flowers and more with our step-by-step tutorials. make your wedding beautiful and affordable with weddingbee projects.. Diy: vintage wood table numbers | green wedding shoes, This one is for all you lovelies planning a pretty rustic wedding. these cute vintage wood table numbers are super easy to make and add the perfect bit of chic. Weekly wedding inspiration: 10 darling diy wedding, Deciding to feature diy wedding signs is not only a nifty budget-friendly trick, it’s also an awesome way to add…
  • Fine Woodworking Magazine Digital

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:39 am
    Treadle lathes | fine woodworking knots, James, i’ve had a treadle lathe project on the back burner for several years. building a good treadle lathe presents several technical problems.. Powermatic "65" table | fine woodworking knots, My neighbor has a powermatic 65 table saw for sale for $375. here’s the details 3 phase motor. pretty clean, bearings seem good, repainted, everything works smoothly. 494 x 700 · 168 kB · jpeg, Youth and Beauty Sets 494 x 700 · 205 kB · jpeg, Free Wedding Program Templates Microsoft Word 494 x 700 · 219 kB · jpeg, Town and Country…
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Scientists Say Lucy May Not Be Our Direct Ancestor

    Johnny Robish
    27 May 2015 | 9:04 pm
    Scientists Say Lucy May Not Be Our Direct Ancestor:  Its long been assumed that an astonishing fossil of a human-like creature who lived some 3.2 million years ago whom anthropologists named Lucy, was more or less considered kind of the “Mother of Mankind,” but a newly discovered fossil named Australopithecus deyiremeda, may have finally dealt Lucy’s claimed status an irreversible blow.  So, as Ricky Ricardo would say, “Loosey, you got some splain’n to do!”  Other scientists are quick to point out that there’s also the possibility that Lucy may have simply been the…
  • Study Suggests 2 Drinks Per Day Harmful for Elderly Hearts

    Johnny Robish
    26 May 2015 | 9:21 pm
    Study Suggests 2 Drinks Per Day Harmful for Elderly Hearts:  A new study suggests that for elderly people, drinking just a couple of alcoholic drinks a day can have adverse effects on heart function.  I’ve always suspected that two drinks a day could be harmful.  That’s why I always make sure to have at least five or six.  In fact, I remember when I first read about the dangers of alcohol, I immediately gave up reading.   Retired Bishop Warns Followers Against Yoga:  The recently retired Bishop of Lincoln, Nebraska is suggesting that Christians take up some other form of…
  • Federal Court to Rule on Rocky Mountain Wolf Return

    Johnny Robish
    25 May 2015 | 8:21 pm
    Federal Court to Rule on Rocky Mountain Wolf Return:  An argument over whether wolves should be allowed to return to Rocky Mountain National Park to deal with an overabundance of elk is moving to a federal appeals court.  If the court rules in favor of the wolves, the elk are expected to seek refuge at the nearest Elks Lodge.   Neighbor Lady Using Old Tires as Planters in Her Garden:  When I was leaving home this morning, I was surprised to see that my neighbor had brought home a bunch of really old tires which she told me she was gonna use as planters for her garden.  You know, I…
  • Girl’s 16th Birthday Party Ruined After Plane Dumps Feces

    Johnny Robish
    24 May 2015 | 8:34 pm
    Girl’s 16th Birthday Party Ruined When Plane Dumps Feces:  A Levittown girl’s “Sweet 16” birthday party was ruined when a torrent of human feces dumped from a passing airplane, splattered all over tables, chairs, decorations and the pool where people were swimming – sending everyone running for cover.  Wow, talk about party poopers.  Airport officials say it was most likely a JetPoo flight – either that or a shitting star!  All I know is, I’d hate to be the airline employee who has to complete the paperwork on that.   German Grandmother Gives Birth To…
  • Another English King May Be Buried Under a Parking Lot

    Johnny Robish
    23 May 2015 | 6:27 pm
    Another English King May Be Buried Under a Car Park:  Just three years after the extraordinary discovery of King Richard III’s body under a car park in Leicester, researchers believe yet another medieval English monarch – Henry I – may also be buried beneath a parking lot in Reading.   Geez, what’s up with all these English Kings and parking lots?  Was parking really that difficult to find back in those days?  As if the Royals weren’t well off enough as it is, now it looks like they’ve also got all the good parking spaces.   If this keeps up, pretty soon…
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    The Laugh Button

  • Tracy Morgan settles his lawsuit with WalMart

    Matt
    28 May 2015 | 8:58 am
    It appears Tracy Morgan’s legal battle with WalMart from the New Jersey highway crash last year has ended. Morgan and his entourage were in a limo bus returning from a show when a WalMart tractor trailer rear ended the vehicle killing James “Jimmy Mack” McNair and left Morgan and two friends seriously injured. Morgan has […] Tracy Morgan settles his lawsuit with WalMart appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • The Laugh Button Podcast #19: Dining with Jen Kirkman (and we feel fine)

    The Laugh Button Staff
    27 May 2015 | 9:25 pm
    Mark and Matt have some big Laugh Button news this week as we’re going on tour this summer. We then meet up with comedian Jen Kirkman to catch a bite to eat and talk about her new Netflix special, I’m Going To Die Alone (And I Feel Fine). New episodes of The Laugh Button Podcast […] The Laugh Button Podcast #19: Dining with Jen Kirkman (and we feel fine) appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Watch the first tease of Another Period on Comedy Central starring Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome

    Mark Says Hi!
    27 May 2015 | 3:27 pm
    Prep the flashbulbs because on June 23, a new level of class is coming to Comedy Central. Another Period is an American period sitcom created by and starring Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome. It follows the lives of the Bellacourts, the first family of Newport, Rhode Island at the turn of the 20th century. Lillian […] Watch the first tease of Another Period on Comedy Central starring Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Vans Warped Tour and Warped Comedy Tent creator Kevin Lyman: The Laugh Button Interview

    Mark Says Hi!
    27 May 2015 | 10:00 am
    Just off celebrating the 20th anniversary of its existence, the Vans Warped Tour welcomes a new addition to its scene. Comedy. This year will mark the start of a new tradition with the 2015 Vans Warped Tour Comedy Tent and we are psyched to be the official sponsor for its entirety this year. This is the brain child of Warped […] Vans Warped Tour and Warped Comedy Tent creator Kevin Lyman: The Laugh Button Interview appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Jen Kirkman doesn’t want your marriage or your kids on her latest special, I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine)

    Jeremy Clymer
    27 May 2015 | 9:32 am
    Jen Kirkman’s new Netflix special, I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine), is bookended by sketches in which she has conversations with people whom she has little to nothing in common with. At the beginning of the special, the interaction is with an overly permissive mom and her drooling, half-wit son. At the end […] Jen Kirkman doesn’t want your marriage or your kids on her latest special, I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine) appeared first on The Laugh Button.
 
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    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Ms Mega Consumer

    PBScott
    28 May 2015 | 12:35 am
    About a year ago now, something happened to me which shook my reality a bit, although hundreds of others also experienced this small event, for me it had a profound meaning that I will now share with you all here. During the middle of my work week, just after lunch, I ran out of shipping […]
  • When Your Cat Is More Thug Than You

    PBScott
    13 May 2015 | 1:12 am
    This just needs to be shared.
  • Danger Panda Shirt

    PBScott
    30 Mar 2015 | 12:34 am
    Danger Panda was arrested nearly a decade ago as he was found with his friends robbing, and destroying a local drug store. During the arrest his friends were killed for attacking the police. One of the arresting officers mistook Danger Panda for a victim in the robbery, and as he tried to offer him help, […]
  • The Fish In The Sea

    PBScott
    6 Jan 2015 | 1:51 am
    On a mostly unremarkable morning a few years back, as I was walking from my house down my street, there was a chance meeting which would change my life for many years to come. The sun was shining brightly that day, it’s light was painful on my halve awaken eyes, so I gazed mostly downwards […]
  • Imagine Dragons – Radioactive – Lyrics – Video

    PBScott
    15 Dec 2014 | 11:09 pm
    I decided to post this Imagine Dragons music video here which features Lou Diamond Phillips and Alexandra Daddario, not so much because I enjoy the beat, which I do, but mostly because of all the awesome puppet violence it contains. Enjoy “Radioactive“ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh Whoa I’m waking up to […]
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time ….

    Tammy
    26 May 2015 | 8:56 pm
    Change might be good for the soul but it’s a bitch on the body and the mind. New beginnings are awesome. Painful … but awesome. I’m still waiting for the awesome part to kick in. Three weeks of being submerged in bubble wrap, 19 rolls of packing tape, 84 boxes and at least a ton […]
  • Dear Daughter, there is something I want you to know …

    Tammy
    6 May 2015 | 12:20 am
     I’d give anything if you could remember how we have grown together through the years. The 3 a.m. feedings, the changing of thousands of poopy diapers, cleaning vomit stained clothes, and not going out to a restaurant for over 2 years. I call them the days of learning that happiness came in very small and […]
  • A Very Personal Post – The Other Side of Fear

    Tammy
    14 Apr 2015 | 10:36 pm
    Ten years ago I was broken. I had just ended a 29 year marriage, sent my only kid off to college, and was left broke and unemployed with the cats and the dog to feed. Not exactly my life plan. I was alone for the first time in my life and filled with fear. I […]
  • Does Your Primal Fear Stack Up?

    Tammy
    24 Mar 2015 | 9:25 pm
    Global warming scares the hibbie-jeebies out of me. I picture polar bears drowning, the air unbreathable (thank you China), the oceans polluted beyond repair, nukes being tossed over by Russia, and Kim Kardashian as first lady. Dear God Almighty…just kill us all now.
  • When Good Friends Turn Out To Be Bad People. Get Ready, It’s About To Get Ugly.

    Tammy
    10 Mar 2015 | 7:41 pm
    I’ve had my belly full of unsolicited advice, ill spirited innuendo and “friendly” recommendations. I am not amused. I very recently had an in depth conversation with a newly made friend who wanted to level with me. Allow me to level it right back. Let’s do this. I am well aware that if I used […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • A hammer that keeps you focused on the task

    admin
    13 May 2015 | 7:53 pm
    Good idea / Bad idea?: A hammer where you have to dodge an axe to your face every time you swing it! What could possibly go wrong? Oh yea… Still not convinced? Try one out! A hammer that keeps you focused on the task is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • An evil place to stick a restroom sticker

    admin
    7 May 2015 | 6:47 pm
    It turns out you can buy restroom stickers on Amazon and just stick them wherever you want! We are not responsible for your arrest or prosecution after you jokingly try to get someone killed. We will laugh at you if you get in trouble though.                                   Of course the top reviewer on Amazon has tried it: 13 of 13 people found the following review helpful Five Stars, November 5, 2014 By Rob Maeder This review is from: Update International S69B-4BK Braille Sign Board, Restroom, White on…
  • Donate to Support Nepal Relief

    admin
    27 Apr 2015 | 7:18 pm
    We usually post silly/stupid, and otherwise useless stuff on ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com, but we just donated to the International Medical Corps relief effort for the earthquake in Nepal, and wanted to urge others to consider doing the same. Facebook is matching donations up to $2 million through this page: https://www.facebook.com/nepalearthquakesupport KATHMANDU, NEPAL – APRIL 25: Emergency workers and bystanders clear debris while searching for survivors under a collapsed temple in Basantapur Durbar Square following an earthquake on April 25, 2015 in Kathmandu, Nepal. A major 7.8…
  • Pure Genius – Tampon Flask!

    admin
    22 Apr 2015 | 6:18 pm
    At first I thought it was hilarious, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the genius behind this invention. Who is going to rifle through your tampons?? It’s not too late to get one for Mother’s Day, lol Oh God, one of the reviews talks about putting a Bloody Mary in them. Gross! Pure Genius – Tampon Flask! is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • There has to be a cheaper way…

    admin
    23 Feb 2015 | 4:32 pm
    It seems like $999.99 might be a but much for a Prison Jumpsuit…   Oh right, that would be one way… 4 of 4 people found the following review helpful I found a better way to get this- cheaper too!,March 5, 2014 By Oragami I found out a cheaper way to get this- I robbed the local McDonalds, and they gave me one of my own. Smelled funny though. Permalink 4 of 5 people found the following review helpful Irony, November 10, 2013 By David A. Barak This review is from: Orange State Prison Jumpsuit Costume (Plus 1x/2x, Orange) (Apparel) I stole the money to buy this costume, and…
 
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Natural Beauty

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    23 May 2015 | 11:07 am
  • Makeup, Makedown, Make It All Around

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    12 May 2015 | 8:37 am
    I've always had somewhat of a delicate relationship with makeup. I wasn't really that interested in makeup as a child because I considered myself a tomboy. When my sister and I played dress-up, usually the only makeup I was wearing was a mascara mustache. As I got older though, it became more and more apparent that I look like a pale dead zombie person without makeup on. I have pretty light colored eyelashes and not a lot of natural color in my face, especially under florescent lights. My mother used to hold me down and put blush on me before we went to church so it didn't look like she…
  • Valar Meow-ghulis

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    10 May 2015 | 1:08 pm
  • R.I.P.

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    27 Feb 2015 | 9:17 am
    Rest in pieces, The Hug. I drew this picture on the very first day I got my wonderful car, on July 3, 2012. We only had two and a half short years together before The Hug's shoddy brakes betrayed the both of us, and we ran a red light and smashed into the side of a Jeep (which came away with nothing but a substantial dent in comparison). Farewell, sweet The Hug. Journey on into the Autobahn of the netherworld, where you can finally break 85 without making that unsettling groaning noise, where your paint has no scratches and your windshield no cracks. May you always have a full tank of gas,…
  • Trading Habitats

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    24 Jan 2015 | 8:46 pm
    At my mother's behest, I have also scanned and thus forever preserved one of my crowning achievements in middle-school science assignments. Hopefully you all enjoy it as much as she does."Jackie, are you scanning and posting all your childhood drawings because you're too lazy to draw new things?"I... uh, what? No! Shut up. Read this adorable educational book I wrote.Also, since this lovely note from a teacher was included in the same folder with this book, I thought I'd share it as a little bonus, so you can all see what a wonderful mother I have.
 
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    David Beckham Comics - Home

  • Men In Bermudas vs The DeGINerates

    8 May 2015 | 12:29 pm
    Boris Skyfall and Sean Bond are two guys who own a cult liquor store. Both men are the Earth's only hope against Gin guzzling human-flesh eating aliens from outer space called DeGINerates who want to eat people and wash the torn pieces down with the world's supply of Gin!!  Read the starter today, the main course will be served on Friday, the 5th of June!P.S. Bermudas also come in German 
  • Ulm Rocks Tee's Off

    22 Apr 2015 | 8:33 am
     Ulm Rocks is about Ulm-City in comic form, printed on nice things like T-Shirts and posters that you can buy at Redbubble.It's all about a nice city that, like Doctor Who's Tardis, is bigger and nicer from the inside than it appears to be on the outside.Starting next week you can read the new comic Ulm City which will appear once a week and feature a variety of new characters such as: The Spatzman - Half man half sparrowSliderman - the burger-eating wall crawler MIB - Men In Bermudas - Two men fight thirst and illegal Aliens from SpaceThis comic will appear in both German…
  • Watch-Her Drop-Dead-Look Galactic-Gus

    25 Feb 2015 | 11:50 am
    Giving an all new deadly aspect to the term Femme Fatale, the Watch-Her and Galactic-Gus get down to dirty looks!
  • Watch-Her Messy Bodysuit 

    16 Feb 2015 | 1:21 pm
    The Watch-Her's new bodysuit gets brained while Galactic Gus, The Fantastic-Bores and the rest of a planet on the brink of destruction watch! Read the Bores and find out what happens next!
  • The Watch-Her & The Messy Squirt

    11 Feb 2015 | 2:58 pm
    The Watch-Her reveals her dark sexy past while juices squirt wild and messy as though from an abused lemon! Read it in Fantastic Bores!
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    Above Average

  • ‘The Daily Show With Trevor Noah’ Officially Has A Premiere Date

    Above Average
    28 May 2015 | 9:28 am
    Judging from this promo, Trevor Noah is very excited to be taking over at The Daily Show. The next time Noah wants to practice hosting duties, he should probably make sure Jon Stewart isn’t standing right behind him:
  • Jon Stewart Discovers The Real Reason Allergy Season Gets Worse Every Year

    Above Average
    28 May 2015 | 8:38 am
    From “Pollen Tsunami” to “Pollen Vortex,” the media has many names for allergy season. It seems that “the worst allergy season in years” happens EVERY year. But why? It has something do to with greenhouse gas levels rising: The Daily Show Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive
  • An Honest Guide to Minecraft

    Ramsey Ess
    28 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    Q: What is Minecraft? A: Great starter question! (Have you done this before?) Paraphrasing the official site, Minecraft is an immersive video game in which the player digs various 3D blocks representing minerals and then build with them. Realistically, it’s like Legos if they were made of real things like wood and stone, and if playing with them was as addictive as the blackest tar heroin available. Q: Why is everything all pixely? A: Yeah, so you’re going to hear words like “retro” and “throwback,” but here’s the God’s honest truth: it’s so your computer doesn’t…
  • Oh Man, I JUST Started Getting Into Soccer. F*ck.

    Just some dude
    27 May 2015 | 3:50 pm
    Welp, egg on my face. For the last two months, I’ve been talking to everyone who will listen about how I’ve been getting really into soccer lately. So didn’t I feel stupid when I opened up my computer this morning and checked BBC Football (my new homepage) to find out that FIFA just indicted 11 officials for corruption, bribery, and racketeering. Fuck. I JUST started getting into it, too. I bought an ESPN 2 package, joined an intramural league, and watched tons of YouTube clips about football. Sorry, I mean soccer. Ugh, see? I’m in deep at this point, dude. Now I can’t walk around…
  • Watch A Supercut Of ‘Veep’s’ Best Insults

    Above Average
    27 May 2015 | 1:41 pm
    Even if you don’t watch Veep, you’ll still be able to appreciate 3 seasons worth of solid burns, thanks to Fast Company. The next time someone pisses you off, take a cue from these foul-mouthed politicians. “Jolly Green Jizz face?” Now THAT’S creative.
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • Delly! Delly!

    Dustin
    27 May 2015 | 4:56 am
    Matthew Dellavedova is not very good at basketball. That is not something that I would normally feel comfortable saying about a professional basketball player, but it’s OK because it’s basically the same thing his own team has said many times. Dellavedova plays backup point guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers. A few months ago, the Cavs tried very hard to find literally ANYONE ELSE to play backup point guard. The GM talked openly about it – “We are trying to find a backup point guard,” he’d say to reporters during practice with Delly missing layups in the background. The Cavs…
  • The Incredible Barfing Bradys

    Dustin
    20 May 2015 | 4:48 am
    Mother’s Day is a week behind us now, but I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to point out something special that should qualify my mom for a Congressional Medal of Honor. My mom raised five kids without killing any of them, which is commendable but not especially unusual in the scope of history, since pioneer women averaged nine children apiece and had to churn butter for all of them. However, my mom’s five children were all afflicted with one unexplainable malady that I’m betting the pioneer moms never dealt with: we were physically unable to throw up in the toilet. Every incident…
  • My Foolproof Method for Learning Something New

    Dustin
    13 May 2015 | 4:35 am
    Throughout my life, I’ve perfected a method for learning anything – guitar, snowboard, driving, etc. Last week, I used it to learn how to windsurf. As usual, it went fantastic. If you’re ready to learn something new, follow these simple steps, and you’ll have it mastered. Probably in a day. Step 1 Go in with extreme confidence that has been fueled by lifelong dreams and YouTube videos. For as long as I can remember, learning to windsurf has been among my top 3 dreams (It’s right between hang gliding and getting a job at the CIA). I have spent HOURS watching windsurfing videos…
  • The Perfect Snowball

    Dustin
    5 May 2015 | 8:26 pm
    It is now Wednesday, and people are still upset that a tax evader and woman beater stole $100 from them by dancing in a ring for 12 rounds last Saturday. If you got burned by the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight this weekend, I’d like to make things up to you a little bit by sharing the story of the only time I’ve been punched in the face. It may surprise you to learn that I did not get into fights growing up. There are two main reasons for this: While other kids were learning sweet fight moves from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, I was learning about The…
  • Hi Grandma! I Have Expensive Junk to Sell You!

    Dustin
    29 Apr 2015 | 5:13 am
    Once in a lifetime—twice if you’re lucky—you get to witness a miracle. Maybe it’s not fire from heaven or bodies rising from the dead, but you never forget how special that moment feels. I got my miracle right after I graduated from high school. I had just walked out of Applebee’s, where I was eating delicious half-price wings and worrying about my desperate summer job situation. As I unlocked my car, I noticed something white tucked under my windshield wiper. It was a note from my guardian angel. “Need a summer job? $12-$20/hour! Flexible schedule! Call today!” It was the most…
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • Raw: Failure

    TwistedMikazuki
    28 May 2015 | 12:57 am
    This piece is very morbid on a touchy subject. A very detailed and if you do not like type of things then with the utmost respect I'd advise you to skip this one and go to the next post. This is a very raw and unedited piece. I just literally wrote it on here to see what I would write about since I haven't written in awhile. I didn't intend to write something of this sort, it just rumbled out of me like thunder after lightening. You fingers graze the edge of the skin its so soft, so smooth, so pale the room was quietly buzzing as your eyes filled with liquid and you didn't even know why You…
  • The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom!

    WolfLarsen
    27 May 2015 | 2:32 pm
    The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom! A Fnippaa-Zwoonk-P000ingggg by Wolf Larsen Warning: some sexual imagery. If you are against sex, or very religious, please stop reading. Thank you for your understanding. Just when you think you have found the ground it disappears on you! You can flacka flacka flacka with the schmip-fwaap-whoops, but then what soda pop to drink? Achooo! But even then the blam blam blam goes f00pedy-doo with your shoe. And that’s bad, which is good! So too many penises are not the answer! Because too many penises are the answer! And that’s why I’d like to…
  • 26 May 2015 | 3:08 pm

    AdaPridgen14
    26 May 2015 | 3:08 pm
    Everyone Against Me Elizabeth Pridgen I don't know what to do. I try to be the best I can be, but it just falls apart because of something in the way. Whether if it's someone, me, or something that blocks my way and takes me down, it just makes it hard for some things I need and want to say. I've sinned, this is true- but when someone takes me down for it, it's hard to start a new day. Someday I smile and cry, but every day I ask for guidance and for other things I pray. So what can I say? What can I do? If you're standing in my way? If I'm something that you want and need, let me come to…
  • Current Events

    Glen MItton
    26 May 2015 | 11:36 am
    Current Events ( c ) Glen Mitton 2015 I come before you ladies and gents I want to talk about current events Put down your paper and let us engage You wont find this on any front page When I say current what comes to mind A river ?, what's chic ? , this moment in time The current I speak of is the electric kind That has the Electromotive force behind The vacuum of space does hold a force That is emitted from our own life source Our sun once again is the center of attention It's influx is of an enormous dimension The earth is a precious blue and green jewel Which has the potential of…
  • The young pretender

    Wulbert
    25 May 2015 | 7:48 am
    A boxer hanging on the ropes a fighter who has lost all hope taking ever vicious blow his legs are weak reactions slow The mind is hazy senses numb to defeat he will succumb he trained so hard to face this test but in the end he's second best The referee comes stepping in as punches rain upon his chin it's over kid you've took enough his corner said you showed your stuff you proved that you are hard and tough you showed great heart and didn't hide he kept the belt you kept your pride Find some comfort in defeat at least you finished on your feet from Father Time the champ can't hide believe…
 
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • Tales by Light

    ponyboy
    28 May 2015 | 9:30 am
    NatGeo and Canon is releasing a 6 episode mini-series titled Tales by Light which focuses on the work of 5 of Australia’s top photographers.  Each episode will document the story behind each photogs journey and share stories of their lifes work  They don’t have information regarding the when it’s going to air here but I’m pretty sure it will.  It looks pretty cool so keep your eye out. Tales by Light Official Trailer HD from Untitled Film Works on Vimeo. The post Tales by Light appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Daily 32

    ponyboy
    28 May 2015 | 6:30 am
    So guys just have huge nuts. The post Daily 32 appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Point Break (2015) Reboot Trailer

    ponyboy
    27 May 2015 | 2:30 pm
    The original Point Break is a classic.  I don’t know why Hollywood feels the need to constantly remake films that aren’t that old.  This is the trailer for the “reboot” of Point Break, I use the word “reboot” because it’s kinda completely different.  It doesn’t make sense that the name of the movie is Point Break because these bad guys are extreme athletes and not just surfers.  Check out the trailer, I will admit some parts look cool but it also looks way over done. The post Point Break (2015) Reboot Trailer appeared first on The…
  • Best Booty May 2015

    ponyboy
    27 May 2015 | 12:00 pm
    Yesterday was boobs and today is booty. Same rules apply, let me know which one you’d love to keep. 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210 543210     The post Best Booty May 2015 appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Lily Drone

    ponyboy
    27 May 2015 | 9:30 am
    This video has been circulating for a while now and I wasn’t going to post it because I was pretty sure most of you have already seen it and know what the Lily Drone is.  But I can’t stop thinking about how badass this thing is.  If it works like advertised I want one.  Check out the video below and if you really want one you can pre-order before June 15th and get it for half price. I also can’t wait to see the fail videos that come out when this thing is released.  There’s going to be some many drones thrown of the side of buildings smashing to the earth. via The…
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • Best of 'All in a day's work in Singapore'

    Winston Chong
    12 May 2015 | 11:26 pm
    Note: I'm doing a 'best of' compilation as I'm entering the Singapore Blog Awards 2015 and need to submit 'three recommended blog posts' as part of the criteria. This post is one of them. Actual conversations overheard"Not speaking doesn't mean mute; not looking doesn't mean blind; not hearing doesn't mean deaf. Knowing the difference will separate the smart ones from the smart alecs.""One's true colours will show after they leave the organisation and stop being your colleague. Either you gain a Best Friend Forever or you award that person with a Best Acting Award.""When the boss…
  • Best of 'This Singapore nerd's musings on himself'

    Winston Chong
    12 May 2015 | 11:00 pm
    Note: I'm doing a 'best of' compilation as I'm entering the Singapore Blog Awards 2015 and need to submit 'three recommended blog posts' as part of the criteria. This post is one of them.When I was young, my mum told me I'm destined for greatness. In later years, I did achieve a larger-than-life stature, but only in my mid-section.  I’m at the stage of my life where I might be hit with a Mid-Life Crisis and the proverbial 7-yr itch. But now I’m more concerned about my Mid-Section Crisis and how to lose that 7-kg bitch!  Life is a theatre: I act tough when my boss is around;…
  • Best of 'Words of Wisdom'

    Winston Chong
    12 May 2015 | 10:26 pm
    Note: I'm doing a 'best of' compilation as I'm entering the Singapore Blog Awards 2015 and need to submit 'three recommended blog posts' as part of the criteria. This post is one of them. MightySince the dawn of time, we wield the sword, only to find the pen to be mightier in dealing with our adversary. But both are no match to the most powerful tool one can hold in our hands to end all conflicts- an olive branch.  *****Wardrobe Those desire a wardrobe of plunging neckline and a raising hemline shouldn't match them with an expanding waistline.*****Email The success of a complaint…
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 7)

    Winston Chong
    12 May 2015 | 3:23 am
    Racist I've been a racist for the past few years due to this arrogant race's global influence and numerical superiority. Indeed, the rest of the world have suffered much. One can only hope that this race- the human race- can change its ways and be a part of the world, rather than on top of it. *****EmotionI finally couldn't control my emotion anymore and to make matter worse, it happened at the company canteen. My hanky was wet from multiple uses. I tried not to have eye contact with other colleagues seated around me and I couldn't leave my table without making a scene. Luckily nobody…
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 6 -photo journal)

    Winston Chong
    3 May 2015 | 6:17 am
    While cab-drivers have the misfortune of ferrying vanishing passengers when they bolted without paying, I had the rare fortune of witnessing my disappearing driver yesterday night on my way home. If the driver willingly leaves his vehicle and his day's income with a stranger, it must be for a good reason. 5mins later, he reappeared with a lighter bladder.Qing Ming Festival- the time of the year when we offer our ancestors the latest in fashion, housing architecture and cars- all made in environmentally friendly paper materials for speedy same-day delivery. The only thing that worries me is…
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    Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines - Melanys Guydlines

  • A Guide to Staying Connected to Your Long-Distance BFF

    Guest
    27 May 2015 | 6:14 pm
    Please enjoy this guest post! This time we are talking BFF’s and how important it is to stay connected no matter how far away the two of you live from one another. (I totally agree that surprising a BFF is super fun and she will love you for it. My BFF always surprised me for every Birthday until I moved to be closer to her in Arizona.) Enjoy and thank you for the tips! Your BFF is your rock, your everything. She knows you so well that she can even finish your sentences. Whether you’ve had the same best friend... Continue Reading
  • 100,000+ Entries For The PS4 Bundle: The Winner Is….

    Melany
    21 May 2015 | 9:57 am
      They don’t call me the snarky queen of giveaways for no reason! I will continue to bring you the best of the best prizes as long as you continue to be the best of the best followers! Deal? CONGRATULATIONS... Continue Reading
  • Bang Your Head…Carefully

    Melany
    20 May 2015 | 8:12 pm
    Bang your head….carefully! I write a blog but it doesn’t always mean I follow my own advice 100% of the time. I’m human! Plus, I can’t be held accountable when some good tunes come on from Metallica or Godsmack. And…..Teddy Brewski accidentally gave me a black eye. Don’t worry- I’m not pressing charges. But, I have frozen broccoli on my face and think the least he can do is get me some frozen corn for tomorrow. Still waiting to see if I’m concussed but pretty sure I am because I watched The Bachelorette and Dancing With The Stars. Question is...
  • Why People Like Memes 4: Extra Snarky

    Melany
    13 May 2015 | 8:24 am
    I have not done an installment of “Why People Like Memes” in a few months and since I am moving slower than my ex-boyfriend running for the last piece of cake at a party, I am pleased to present you with a few extra guydlines for your snarky, reading pleasure. Enjoy and hope you are having a stellar Tuesday morning. BTW – I am using the number 4 for this one since I get confused the higher the Roman Numeral goes. K? Better to be safe than sorry and called out by trolls later down the line, right? I am... Continue Reading
  • Let’s Play Ball: Live With SF Giants Bryan Srabian at AT&T Park Friday 5/7/15 for Social Hangout

    Melany
    7 May 2015 | 11:51 am
    I have Matt Williams rookie card in mint condition. My sister was the only girl invited to Barry Bonds birthday party when she was 7. My mom bowled with some of the wives from the SF Giants team circa 70’s and I learned how to fire a softball from the hot corner when I was just a little, snarky one. I grew up playing every sport under the sun. By the time I was in high school, I was an annoying date for any baseball game since I had the ability (and still do) to call pitch location before the... Continue Reading
 
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • The Absolute Power Edition

    themidside
    25 May 2015 | 8:23 pm
    If absolute power corrupts absolutely, what does in-absolute conversation about it do? Find out in this episode as we declare Nazis to be cliche and create the game “One Degree of Tom Brady.” We also discuss Tomorrowland, Hannibal, and the latest Game of Thrones rape.
  • The Mad Men Edition

    themidside
    18 May 2015 | 11:51 pm
    Sans Elliot we check in on some of our favorite farces: comparing Age of Ultron to Man of Steel, calling the Joker the hero of The Dark Knight, and Deflategate. We also say goodbye to Don Draper and the rest of Mad Men.
  • The More Probable Than Not Edition

    themidside
    12 May 2015 | 10:24 pm
    This week, Tom Brady and Tony Stark are the worst people in the world and it causes Justin to explode. Also, Daniel ruins any chance he’ll ever have of being an elected official while Elliot endorses DC TV. It’s more probable than not that by listening to this episode you’ll be generally aware that the Farce never stops. 
  • The Voices in the Machine Edition

    themidside
    4 May 2015 | 10:36 pm
    What do Baltimore, Ferguson, and Ultron all have in common? The conversation about them is controlled by voices in the machine. We discuss these harrowing situations, reviewing the latest Avengers movie along the way, before interviewing Ronnie James Dio about the rise & fall of our former home, Talkbacker.
  • The Draw the Line Edition

    themidside
    27 Apr 2015 | 10:38 pm
    It’s not always easy to draw the line. In this episode, we attempt to delineate important issues–the Baltimore Purge and the many facets of Bruce Jenner. We also nerd out over the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Star Wars: The Force Awakens teasers.
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    Gifking-blog

  • <!–:en–>About gifking<!–:–>

    18 May 2015 | 11:24 am
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  • 18 May 2015 | 11:23 am

    18 May 2015 | 11:23 am
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  • 18 May 2015 | 11:23 am

    18 May 2015 | 11:23 am
    The animal planet has always been a matter of curiosity to most of us. Although we see many animals we only keep domestic animals like dogs and cats at home and they are no less than family members due to the bonding shared between them and their owners. It has been said that a dog is a man’s best friend and millions of examples are there to establish the quote time and again. So are the cats that add cuteness with their presence in the household. To add more fun into life one can celebrate these beautiful animals name ceremony, birthday and so on. What could be more memorable than taking…
  • The Funny Crazy Picture Gallery A Huge Medium of Creativity

    17 May 2015 | 10:40 pm
    The line between crazy and creative is often a very thin one, and sometimes ideas are so different that it stays in one head for a long time. The culture of hanging out together is back once again and people are trying their level best to have a good time. On the other hand, there are difficult times when we really can’t create any good time for your own. That’s the easiest and witty way to get entertained is through funny crazy picture gallery. Although, maximum images certainly look quite ridiculous, but those pretty successful in making us happy. So maybe, we should take out our time…
 
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    Funny Jokes, Inspirational Quotes, Cartoons, Thoughts

  • “Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”- Quotes on Words

    Bharath Kumar
    25 May 2015 | 8:24 pm
    Popular Tongue Quotes-Why should we continue things which are meaningless? Logically raising voice does not add up to the argument so better we choose the words intelligently to make it more productive. Please share your views in the comments column.Related Keywords- love tongue quotes, quotes tongue people, quotable quotes tongue, watch your tongue, uotes, #Bangaloreblood, #Funtime
  • “Take more pictures life is waiting.”- Life Quotes

    Bharath Kumar
    24 May 2015 | 7:14 am
    Quotes on Life and Happiness-Start dreaming and doing and fill up the life. Please share your views in the comments column.Related Keywords- inspirational quotes, cute life quotes, love quotes, life quotes sayings, happiness quotes, life quotes tumblr, life love quotes, funny life quotes, #Bangaloreblood, #Funtime
  • “The fool wonders, the wise man asks.”- Wise Man Quotes

    Bharath Kumar
    20 May 2015 | 9:33 pm
    Quotes on Fools-The problem with a fool is the lack of action. Please share your views in the comments column.Related Keywords- inspirational quotes, wise man quotes about love, wise man quotes about life, wise man once said, wise man quotes funny, life quotes, wisdom quotes, #Bangaloreblood, #Funtime
  • “Use the laws to achieve your objectives.”-Justice Quotes

    Bharath Kumar
    20 May 2015 | 8:40 pm
    Achieving ObjectiveQuotes-If you have got a big and better objective it’s not wrong to break or use the laws of nature to achieve it. Please share your views in the comments column.Related Keywords- law quotes about justice, funny law quotes, justice quotes, lawyer quotes, law student quotes, law quotes for personal statement, #Bangaloreblood, #Funtime
  • “Truth is the best known skill is communication.”– Communication Quotes

    Bharath Kumar
    20 May 2015 | 7:57 am
    Famous Truth Quotes- Truth only keeps you away from problems. Please share your views in the comments column.Related Keywords- famous quotes on truth, quotes on happiness, quotes on truth and honesty, quotes on truth and lies, quotes on truth hurts, quotes on trust, #Bangaloreblood, #Funtime
 
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • Whoopee! It’s an “Oreo”!

    GiGi
    27 May 2015 | 5:50 am
    A majority of college experiences include pulling… 1. The Matthew Mcconaughey - The act of experimenting with certain drugs… Resulting in stripping down naked, dancing around wildly while playing bongos only to shove a cop who came to the scene, after a noise complaint was filed… Consequently earning “silver cuffs”. 2. The David Hasselhoff - The act of imbibing far too much… Resulting in an epic video made of you making love to a gluttonous cheeseburger on the floor of your [Read On!]
  • This Chick Gets A Makeover: Chick-Fil-A

    GiGi
    19 May 2015 | 5:41 am
    Who here craves… Monosodium glutamate mixed with some moist tapioca dextrin and succulent dimethylpolysiloxane… Piled high with… TBHQ, ammonium sulfate, liquid yeast, palm kernel oil, cheese culture, oleoresin and caramel color… Oh and lettuce, yes, lettuce too… But of course. Um. Didn’t your grade-school chemistry professor tell you to NOT ingest any chemicals? Then why in DA FAK are so many FOAMING at the mouth for the juicy poison I described above? Think about this…. Wanting to nosh on that [Read On!]
  • Carnival In Your Mouth!

    GiGi
    12 May 2015 | 6:10 am
    STEP RIGHT UP… To see something astonishing, unusual and downright bizarre! No… I am not about to show you the inner workings of a medical spa where celebrities transform themselves into plastic bags filled with saline… I’m about to show you something absolutely drool-worthy and 100% sinless. I don’t think Janice Dickinson or Courtney Love qualify as such… Churros, anyone? I am of course NOT offering up the typical deep-fried pastry that is guaranteed to stop your heart… I actually re-created this CARNIVAL FAVORITE… [Read On!]
  • The D Train: Are You On It?

    GiGi
    5 May 2015 | 5:56 am
    As you may remember… In all of the MEN IN BLACK movies… Extraterrestrials walk among human-beings, posing as humans themselves… And aside from Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and the rest of the MIB gang… Human beings are oblivious…. Although… Sometimes we do suspect… Something. What if I told you that… this movie is very much NONFICTION… Well, okay… If you relate it to… FOOD.  HOLD UP! I guess the “aliens walking among us” idea could actually be real, but WHO [Read On!]
  • Recipe Fail? You Be The Judge!

    GiGi
    28 Apr 2015 | 7:36 am
    HONESTY…. Yep, that’s a rarity here in Hollywood… So just call me a purple polka-dotted sky-diving unicorn because… I will ALWAYS tell you the truth. I’ll tell you that… A. When I first moved to Los Angeles… I did something that could be seen as completely stereotypical and if dug up from the depths, I would take FULL responsibility for it. B. I am FULLY capable of eating two WHOLE chickens and 10 pounds of salmon in ONE sitting. C. Some days, [Read On!]
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    PMSLweb

  • Stupid life hacks – Pieces of advice you probably ignore

    FROZ
    27 May 2015 | 7:09 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersStupid life hacks- In a society where the most prosperous firms have understood that the easier to use a product will turn out to be, the higher its success rate; you’d be surprised by the number of well-known every day glitches that each and every one of us still has to encounter on a fairly frequent basis, and for whom no true solutions seem to have been found… or at least until now. Prepare yourself to be mind blown by what follows. Wishing you an enlightening PMSLweb moment! This post Stupid life hacks – Pieces of advice you…
  • Foolish Tuesday – The chuckle zone is open

    FROZ
    26 May 2015 | 11:44 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersFoolish Tuesday – Before courageously getting stuck into the ascent of the third and last part of the infamous business week mount, a last little mood enhancer should be considered. Bearing that in mind, once more we have put together a selection of funny pics which we hope may lead to the birth of a few smiles. In a few minutes, we should have the answer to that, n’est ce pas? Wishing you a merrymaking PMSLweb moment! This post Foolish Tuesday – The chuckle zone is open appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • New week humor – Your Monday selection of funnies

    FROZ
    25 May 2015 | 12:35 pm
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersNew week humor – Today during your encounter of the new week kind, you have had the honor of being greeted by the 21st Monday out of the 52 which are featured in 2015’s calendar. Sadly enough, thirty one still remain to pull through, but given those you have survived so far, we have faith in you. In order to boost the spirits a tad, here’s our Monday selection of funnies, so please feel free. Wishing you a joyful PMSLweb moment! This post New week humor – Your Monday selection of funnies appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the…
  • Sunday madness – Ending the weekend with a smirk

    FROZ
    24 May 2015 | 1:12 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersSunday madness – While Saturday has revealed itself to be quite popular among the general population, when it comes to Sunday, on the other hand, opinions tend to diverge. It’s not the whole “Sunday concept” in itself which tends to bother people – as people no matter on which part of the planet may they live, will always appreciate having a day off – but the fact that whether you like it or not, Sunday is doomed to be the new weeks’ runner up! Long story short, Sunday reeks of nasty Monday fumes… ouch. That being…
  • Humorous TGIF – Funnies to set the mood

    FROZ
    22 May 2015 | 7:55 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersHumorous TGIF – With the weekend finally kicking-in, the moment has come to make a few mood adjustments. Time to dismiss whatever could hamper the upcoming cheerful atmosphere – or at least put it aside until Monday – in order to totally focus on the next 48h, and since you’ve made it here, why not allow us to assist you during the process with a handful of mood enhancers? Wishing you a gorgeous weekend ahead and a jocular PMSLweb moment! This post Humorous TGIF – Funnies to set the mood appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the…
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    dailypotatonews.com

  • Local fat guy accidentally eats Hispanic child at Mexican restaurant

    dailypotatonews
    27 May 2015 | 1:16 pm
      Sources reported that local fat man, Tom Morris, accidentally ate a small Hispanic child at a Mexican restaurant, where he frequently dines. Mr. Morris stated that the child looked exactly like a burrito and that he’s really sorry. The... Read More ›
  • North Korea promotes ‘Free Thinking Day’

    dailypotatonews
    17 May 2015 | 8:35 pm
    In order to help improve relations with other countries, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un appeared on state run media stating his intentions to create a national “Free Thinking Day.” Jong-un reported that on this specific day all North Korean citizens will be allowed... Read More ›
  • Saudi Prince donates 10,000 barrels of oil to homeless

    dailypotatonews
    16 May 2015 | 8:02 pm
        Prince Al-Waleed recently donated 10,000 barrels of oil to homeless and underprivileged families. The Prince stated that each family can do whatever they please with their barrel, but after they are done doing whatever it is they plan on... Read More ›
  • Daredevil produce manager to attempt largest ever plum display

    dailypotatonews
    26 Apr 2015 | 7:44 pm
    Sources reported that Phillip Barker, a local produce manager, plans to make the largest ever plum display. He stated that it will span aisles 2 through 10 and although the plums are very ripe, he warned all customers against removing... Read More ›
  • Pope loses keys to Vatican, again

    dailypotatonews
    16 Apr 2015 | 8:55 pm
    Local sources reported that Pope Francis has once again locked himself out of the Vatican. The Pope was overheard saying that he “seriously has no idea what happened to them.” Although he usually keeps a spare key under the flower pot... Read More ›
 
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    WordPress.com News

  • New Themes: Apostrophe and Canard

    sarah semark
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    Happy Theme Thursday! Today, WordPress.com welcomes two new free themes to its collection: Apostrophe and Canard. Apostrophe With a pared-down design and bold images, Apostrophe is ideally suited to magazine-style sites, like travelogues, fashion blogs, or foodie sites. It’s an update of Semicolon, built by Automattic’s own Konstantin Kovshenin. Apostrophe supports Social Links Menus, Featured Images, Site Logos, Post Formats, Custom Menus, Widgets, Custom Backgrounds, and Custom Headers. Read more about Apostrophe on the Theme Showcase, or activate it on your site from…
  • Web Publishing for All! Introducing Community Translator Tools

    Julian de Bhál
    26 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    Publishing tools for everyone Roughly half of the content and traffic on the internet is in English1, yet English is the mother tongue of only about a quarter of internet users2, and less than 5% of the world’s population.3 We believe that WordPress.com should be for everyone, not just English speakers — it’s why we already serve WordPress in 131 languages — but we want to make it even more accessible.4 To keep so many languages up to date we need to make it radically easier for non-English speaking communities to help with translation. We’re proud to announce…
  • Street Photography: Seven Photos

    Krista
    22 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    It’s no secret that I love to pore through the street photography tag in the WordPress.com Reader and share images that catch my attention. Join me on another trip around the world as seen through the eyes (and lenses!) of these seven skilled photographers. This arresting image of a bird in a car — juxtaposed against the unknowing elderly man passing by — mesmerizes me. Taken by Beirut photographer Ghaleb Cabbabé, there’s an element of the macabre about this photograph that I find intriguing. The odd bird and the filthy windscreen create a certain palpable sinister…
  • Eventbrite Now Available for All of WordPress.com

    Kirk Wight
    12 May 2015 | 11:00 am
    We’re excited to announce big updates to our Eventbrite integration: your events can now be displayed right on your WordPress.com site, no matter what theme you use! Enjoy Eventbrite, regardless of theme In 2013, we launched two Eventbrite themes to help you promote your events. Since then, we’ve gotten requests from users to extend that functionality more broadly on WordPress.com. Today, we’ve rolled out our Eventbrite integration to all users, which means you are no longer limited to only using the Eventbrite themes to promote your events. You can now connect to…
  • New Theme: Gazette

    Thomas Guillot
    7 May 2015 | 10:00 am
    It’s Theme Thursday, and we’re happy to launch a brand new free theme. Gazette Gazette, designed by yours truly, is a clean and flexible theme perfectly suited for minimalist magazine-style sites, personal blogs, or any content-rich site. It allows you to highlight specific articles on the homepage, and to balance readability with a powerful use of photography — all in a layout that works on any device. Gazette also supports the following popular features: Custom Colors, Custom Header, Custom Menu, Social Links, Site Logo, Featured Images, and Widgets. Read more about Gazette on the…
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    Humoropedia

  • Watch ComicsApp Video Now

    Roman Marshanski
    20 May 2015 | 4:53 pm
    Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com Watch ComicsApp Video Now was first posted on May 20, 2015 at 4:53 pm.
  • 135 Elon Musk Quotes

    Roman Marshanski
    16 May 2015 | 10:39 pm
    Enjoy the best of Elon Musk quotes. Inspirational quotes by Elon Musk, entrepreneur. The first step is to establish that something is possible; then probability will occur. I think it’s very important to have... Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com 135 Elon Musk Quotes was first posted on May 16, 2015 at 10:39 pm.
  • 15 Raising Arizona Quotes

    Roman Marshanski
    8 May 2015 | 7:55 pm
    Enjoy the best of Raising Arizona Quotes. Quotes from the movie Raising Arizona. 1 Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail. Evelle: No, ma’am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance. Gale:... Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com 15 Raising Arizona Quotes was first posted on May 8, 2015 at 7:55 pm.
  • Ghostbusters Quotes

    Roman Marshanski
    7 May 2015 | 11:57 pm
    Enjoy the best of Ghostbusters Quotes. Funny Quotes from the movie Ghostbusters. Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch... Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com Ghostbusters Quotes was first…
  • True Romance Quotes

    Roman Marshanski
    6 May 2015 | 10:18 am
    Enjoy the best of True Romance Quotes. Quotes from the movie True Romance. Vincenzo Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I’m Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of... Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to report@humoropedia.com True Romance Quotes was first posted on May 6, 2015 at 10:18 am.
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    absrdCOMEDY

  • Poll: 83% of Republicans Considering Running For President

    Paul Lander
    28 May 2015 | 4:20 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor With the announcements by Texas Senator Ted Cruz, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, former FOX News host and Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, Ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, etc. to throw their hats into the ring for the Republican Presidential nod, a recent Gallup poll asked Republicans where they stood on the crowded field. The results showed 83% of Republicans are actually considering running for the Presidency. When asked if that number was “Republicans in office,” a spokesman for Gallup replied, “Nope, that’s all…
  • Couple Celebrating 70th Anniversary Turned Away From Restaurant Because Their Relationship Status Is Not Posted On Social Media

    Jessica Glassberg
    26 May 2015 | 4:17 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Los Angeles, CA – Last Saturday evening, Granada Hills couple Margie and Ralph Fogie traded in their orthopedic sneakers for orthopedic dress shoes in anticipation of a night (well, technically a late afternoon) out on the town to celebrate their seventieth wedding anniversary. They arrived at The Love Shack Restaurant Bar and Grill, only to be turned away because the couple’s status could not be found on social media. The Fogies arrived fifteen minutes early for their four o’clock dinner reservation in anticipation of enjoying a hot tea at the bar prior…
  • “Hot-Desking? Fever-desking more like”

    Simon Pinkerton
    26 May 2015 | 4:02 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor From the blog of Kent Markovic, 46, Santa Barbara, CA Everyone at work was ill last week. Literally everyone. The symphony of sneezes and coughs and nasal voices was disgusting. I sat at my hot-desk writing an email and feeling a tingle in my nose. I’m 46, I know what that means by now. I know my own body, people; to hell with your stupid smirks and “Man-flu” remarks. It means I needed to flush that virus out tout de suite. I didn’t have my Neti pot with me. That’s right, I do yoga and flirted with Buddhism.  You have a problem…
  • Ask a Canadian Vol.2

    David Ducharme
    22 May 2015 | 3:49 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Dear Canadian Dave, I am an American that is outraged over your arctic seal hunt. It is barbaric and unnecessary. Why won’t the Canadian Government step in and do something about these crimes against nature? Sincerely, Outraged American Dear Outraged American, I am a Canadian that is outraged over your gun crimes. They are barbaric and unnecessary. Why won’t the American Government step in and do something about these crimes against humanity? Let’s meet up at Timmy’s and discuss this further over a double double. Sincerely, Canadian Dave Why do so many…
  • Camping Trip Really Makes You Appreciate How Ancestors Drank

    Tom Gannon
    21 May 2015 | 5:33 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor A recent camping trip to Crystal Lake Trailer Park significantly increased one group’s appreciation for how people in the past consumed alcohol. “When you go to a bar, you honestly don’t realize how lucky you are,” reported Matt Trainor, a member of the group. “Most of the time you can get someone to pour your beer for you, but when you’re in the rough and tough natural world, you need to get your own cans.” Later that trip, the men came to appreciate how long their ancestors had to drive to obtain McDonalds. “We got to experience the fun…
 
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    Peak Perspective

  • I Knew It! It’s Only a Matter of Time.

    peakperspective
    23 May 2015 | 7:54 pm
    “All you have is the NOW.” This is a quote from my yoga teacher. She reminds me twice a week that there is the past, and the potential, but most important is the present. This moment. And once it goes, it’s gone. I wrestled with that quote for an entire hour last week during class, […]
  • See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Text No Evil

    peakperspective
    16 May 2015 | 7:52 pm
    Here’s a scary fact: There are two people inside of me. Okay, wait. That sounded much more alarming than I wanted it to. Let’s try that again. I hear two voices. Nope. That doesn’t really work either. And this has nothing to do with the whole author thing where we train ourselves to get inside […]
  • Two Can Play at That Game

    peakperspective
    9 May 2015 | 7:37 pm
    THWACK! is a beautiful sound. So is SSLRP! These are two noises I easily associate with my youth, and, in particular, my youth while around my dad. We’re playing softball. He pitches, I swing, he catches. Rinse and repeat. These buzzy, breezy, warm summer afternoons are all snugly tucked deep into the depths of my […]
  • How to Get Off to a Flying Start

    peakperspective
    2 May 2015 | 7:27 pm
    In the last two and one-half weeks, I’ve gone to three different airports, four times. None of them have been for any adventures penciled into my calendar. I’ve simply gotten to play chauffeur to the accumulation of sky miles for others. Both happen to be my children. Neither happens to be aware of a little […]
  • You Want to Step Outside?

    peakperspective
    25 Apr 2015 | 7:34 pm
    You can tell a lot about a person by the way they drive. You can tell even more about a person by the way they drive AT YOU going 40 mph on a thin and curvy country road while you are out for a leisurely Sunday stroll. Not everyone is paying attention, as is clear […]
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    Robot Butt

  • Hey, You Know What Would Be Cool?

    Steve DiMatteo
    27 May 2015 | 1:30 pm
    Time for you to get yours, you jerk.If you followed a guy you really, really hated – just a guy who has been a huge, terrible asshole to you – into the bathroom, without him seeing you, of course, and waited for him to start peeing at the urinal, only to grab him by the shoulders in the middle of it and viciously throw him to the ground.The benefits of doing this are many-pronged:You will get the appropriate vengeance for being wrongedThe guy would be very shocked, embarrassed and eventually furiousHe’d get pee all over whatever douche clothes he was wearingHe might even…
  • The Green Goblin is Real

    Steve DiMatteo
    26 May 2015 | 12:30 pm
    I sure as hell hope that Spider-Man is out there somewhere, because the Green Goblin is very real.Canadian madman Catalin Alexandru Duru recently set a Guinness World Record for farthest flight by hoverboard, destroying the previous record of 164 feet airborne by traveling 905 feet and two inches. Calling it “the first real-life hoverboard,” Duru traveled more than 16 feet above the ground, effectively terrorizing the people below him.Duru built the hoverboard himself and says that it can reach “scary heights” – presumably high above the New York City skyline,…
  • Mid-Level Manager Seems to Have an Awful Lot of Awards

    Robot Butt News Corp.
    26 May 2015 | 9:25 am
    Despite working in a field that lacks an award-granting academy or a set of guidelines making it possible to fairly compare his work to others’ in his field, managing director Craig Morris’s desk is a veritable smorgasbord of awards, trophies, plaques and medals.“I see myself as a pretty humble guy, so I don’t usually like to brag about my awards. Once I’ve won one, I just put it out on my desk and let the trophy do the talking,” Morris said.Though Morris may not like to talk about it, his award-winning work hasn’t gone unnoticed by his…
  • Grandpa Performs Annual Memorial Day Normandy Reenactment With Hot Dogs

    Robot Butt News Corp.
    25 May 2015 | 7:01 am
    INDIANAPOLIS – Memorial Day is a holiday steeped in tradition. Parades, cookouts, saluting those who served. For the Hutcherson Family, it also means Grandpa Jim’s annual reenactment of the Normandy invasion using hot dogs.“It’s really easy to lose sight of what the holiday is all about,” Greg Hutcherson, Jim’s son, said. “But nothing really drives home the magnitude of the sacrifice the brave men who served this country made like having grilled meat stand in for them while we pretend the picnic table is a beach.”Grandpa Jim’s reenactments have become more elaborate over…
  • Things You Should Know About: ‘The Great Silence’

    Linton D. Lewis
    22 May 2015 | 10:29 am
    Here’s the deal:Spaghetti westerns kinda saved movies. If you look at the history of film, there is a dark era from the ‘30s to the ‘60s in which the Hays Code hovered over cinema like the blazing sun at high noon. The code made sure that sex, violence, profanity and drug use stayed firmly in check and out of the public’s eyes and minds, protecting everyone from that nagging phenomenon known as reality.But after a few dead presidents and civil rights leaders, things took a bit of a turn. A bevy of new and challenging films started to appear in the mid-sixties onward, and spaghetti…
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    BoredHumor.com

  • A Boy Recovering From An Injury Gets A Surprise Visit From An Unlikely Friend

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    When Tristan was recovering at the hospital from a traumatic brain injury, he received a visit from a very special four-legged therapy animal: a pony named Logan! Watch as Logan gives Tristan tiny little kisses on his feet and rubs his head against him. He does this while the little boy seems in a trance at the sight of the friendly visitor. It’s definitely not something you see every day, and is sure to bring the biggest smile to your face. (source adanielsard) I’ve seen plenty of therapy dogs and even therapy cats, but never a pony. Research has proven that animals can have a…
  • Motivational Quotes To Get You Through A Slump

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    We all need a little motivation from time to time, a little uplifting and happiness to make our days a little easier and brighter, and basically just better. Whether you’re a so-called ‘quote hoarder’ or not, you can’t deny that a well-placed one can completely hit home sometimes. Here are some motivational quotes to get you through a slump: The post Motivational Quotes To Get You Through A Slump appeared first on BoredHumor.com.
  • Quiz: What Kind Of Girl Are You?

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 9:00 am
    The post Quiz: What Kind Of Girl Are You? appeared first on BoredHumor.com.
  • 20 Fascinating Facts That’ll Transform Your Pub Quiz Game

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 8:01 am
    In this job, I learn some pretty fascinating facts daily and I always make sure I go home and casually drop them in throughout the night to impress my partner. The best ones are met with disbelief, a quick google search for proof and then the ultimate personal victory for me. There are some gems among these 20 lesser known facts that you can definitely use as smug ammunition-for-impressing. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Which of these facts surprised you the most? I know I definitely had to read number 7 twice. I hate my voice on recordings and always…
  • 12 Times On-Screen Friends Gave Us Extreme Friendship Envy

    admin
    28 May 2015 | 8:00 am
    Ever watch a TV show or movie and find yourself being a little jealous of the friendship some characters have? Us too. Here are a few tv and movie character friendships that gave us extreme envy. *Cries softly* 1) Monica, Rachel And Phoebe They lived together. Monica baked, Rachel was super styling and Phoebe was forever the optimist. This trio was just too perfect for words and God, how we wished we were a part of it. 2) Cher And Dion They knew everything about each other and could always make each other smile. Can….can you make us smile too guys? 3) Elena And Bonnie Bonnie was always…
 
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    Punk'd

  • First rule of snapchat never stop snapping

    cronus
    5 May 2015 | 7:19 am
    First rule of snapchat never stop snapping The post First rule of snapchat never stop snapping appeared first on Punk'd.
  • I’m Batman

    cronus
    5 May 2015 | 7:05 am
    I’m Batman The post I’m Batman appeared first on Punk'd.
  • A world without female drivers

    cronus
    5 May 2015 | 6:56 am
    http://new2.fjcdn.com/movies/17/83/178369_5535426.mp4 The post A world without female drivers appeared first on Punk'd.
  • Best Fails of the Month April 2015

    zeus
    4 May 2015 | 3:31 am
    The post Best Fails of the Month April 2015 appeared first on Punk'd.
  • Batman,The man with a plan!

    zeus
    22 Mar 2015 | 9:12 am
    Batman is the man with a plan! The post Batman,The man with a plan! appeared first on Punk'd.
 
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    prettycripple.com

  • Adulthood sucks. I’m escaping by making Muppets | best friend story

    Magdalena
    18 May 2015 | 8:49 am
    Don’t underestimate the ability of the adult brain to regress to childhood in the blink of an eye. I hate adulthood. True, it has its perks, but overall it’s a downer. Disappointments, struggles, responsibilities – these things leave me on the verge of Googling “Best way to tie a noose.” It’s great to take a break from adulthood. So now and then, my BFF and I revert to life as 10 year olds by channeling the Muppets. We watch them on the small screen, play with them and then cackle endlessly. Now, we can create impromptu videos of us acting like fools and share via…
  • Demented Mother’s Day cards | make mom cry

    Magdalena
    7 May 2015 | 8:20 am
    Motherhood is traumatizing and I’m not discussing actual birth. I can’t imagine a more thankless job carrying such responsibility rearing a human being. I give women credit for signing up for this lifelong unpaid duty. This is one job at which I would never be successful and it would probably shorten my lifespan to age 50. Additionally, I would be arrested for giving my kid too much independence, a là “free-range parenting” reminiscent of how I grew up in Queens. Could you imagine…”Wait officer, are you trying to tell me an 8 year old shouldn’t ride…
  • Barbie does Fashion Redux for Earth Day

    Magdalena
    21 Apr 2015 | 8:59 am
    I often ponder on sustainability, the environment and fashion. Here’s a first world dilemma to grapple with–I want to buy a new designer jacket, so do I buy new, consignment, vintage or Etsy handmade? I rant and rave against fast fashion and landfills, but when I’m hankering for some retail therapy, I need to rein myself in. The “rush” post-purchase of another expensive garment is fabulous, but do I really need it? YES, I DO need it and I DO want it. I get a pass since I consciously consider where I make my purchases and the environmental impact of my choices. Good…
  • Going Gangsta at the NYC Easter Hat Parade

    Magdalena
    7 Apr 2015 | 2:11 pm
    Chasing pastel eggs seems to be the most appropriate way to commemorate the Crucifixion and then the rising of Christ on Easter, right? Americans know exactly how to turn a religious holiday into a commercial one. Easter, the most holy Christian holiday, is no exception. During the holiday, we watch hyper kids on the verge of Type-2 Diabetes inhaling plastic bags of chocolate bunnies from CVS. Growing up in a devout Catholic Polish family, I learned early on about Easter traditions and customs including painting pastel eggs. My earliest memory at age 5, was my grandmother’s graphic and…
  • Beckoning Betty-Lauren Bacall Wows With Seductive Style | lauren bacall exhibit

    Magdalena
    31 Mar 2015 | 12:01 pm
    I overheard a five year old proudly proclaim, “look mommy I’m sexy”, as she launched into a song and dance number. I thought “Oh God, get her a chastity belt quickly.” I didn’t want to see her mom’s response. I fled the scene and contemplated how kids might perceive ‘sexy.’ I often see blatant displays of sexuality in the fashion choices women make. When bandage dresses or skirts à la Hervé Léger are worn so short that the pubes are practically revealed, then we think that wearer is either an exhibitionist, or a militant feminist. Such…
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    Noiseless Chatter

  • Guest Post: A Look at ALF’s Hit Talk Show

    Philip J Reed
    28 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    As you all know, I never do favors for anyone unless they give me even more in return. Since I’m away this week, the guy I wrote a Power Ranger sex thing for got roped into filling in for me. Eventually I might — MIGHT — take a proper look at ALF’s Hit Talk Show. But in the very likely event of my death, here’s Samurai Karasu of Ranger Retrospective to give it the coverage it doesn’t by any means deserve. I apologize for the break in your regularly scheduled ALF reviews my fellow ALFanatics. Mr. Reed has informed me he was on trial for murder this week so…
  • RIP Anne Meara

    Philip J Reed
    25 May 2015 | 11:25 am
    Reader BJ Siard aleted me to this fact: Anne Meara passed away on Friday, at the age of 85. Fans of the ALF reviews will know her as Kate Sr., a condescending nickname I coined because the show never bothered to make me care about who she actually was. She was introduced in the Kate Sr. Trilogy, and has made intermittent appearances since then. And while I couldn’t pretend that she was actually a fantastic and welcome presence on the show, I would hasten to point out that she did what she could with what she was given. Sadly, what she was given involved ALF in gypsy garb channeling the…
  • ALF Reviews: “Hide Away” (season 3, episode 13)

    Philip J Reed
    21 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    With “Hide Away,” we find ourselves at the halfway point of season three. We’re so close to Jim J. Bullock joining the cast, I could spit on him. From here I’m not sure if I’ve seen any more episodes. I did watch Project: ALF (or at least some of it) when it aired, but after “Do You Believe in Magic?” I don’t know if I ever bothered tuning in again. I might have, but “Hide Away” isn’t at all familiar to me. No memories came rushing back with this one…and that’s kind of a shame. It’s not a great episode, or…
  • Elsewhere: Ranger Sexuality

    Philip J Reed
    19 May 2015 | 9:15 am
    It might look like I don’t write much anymore, but that’s bullshit. In fact, just today my comprehensive, scholarly examination of sexual subtext in Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers went live over on Ranger Retrospective. You should check it out right here. Granted, some of this stuff you will have already known, but I wanted to provide a platform for intelligent discussion, and that sometimes requires a common sense recap. Ranger Retrospective is a weekly blog run by friend-of-the-website Samurai Karasu. Check it out if (when) you get bored of my rambling. It’s quite…
  • ALF Reviews: “Do You Believe in Magic?” (season 3, episode 12)

    Philip J Reed
    14 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    So, we’re here at last. “Do You Believe in Magic?” is the episode of ALF that I remember best, and not for positive reasons: this is the episode that convinced me, even as a stupid kid, that this show was a bit shit. I didn’t have the most discerning tastes as a child. For every Pee-Wee’s Playhouse or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that I fell in love with, I’m sure there were twenty films and television shows that I watched all the time, but which faded immediately from memory the moment they went away. Memory is the grand curator, after all. It…
 
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    All Jolene

  • Can I Ask You A Favor?

    jolene.ewert@msu.montana.edu
    27 May 2015 | 4:03 pm
        Am I the only one who receives phone calls only when somebody needs something? You know, they are moving and need your help, they are having some kind of emotional breakdown, their kid is selling some crap for school, or their car has broke down. Even though I am more than willing to help,…
  • Get Your Glamp On

    jolene.ewert@msu.montana.edu
    26 May 2015 | 4:05 pm
         I have heard it all now. The latest craze: glamping. Maybe you know about this already but to me, it was a new idea. And, a ridiculous one at that. I kept seeing posts about these “glamping specials” for $200 a night and up. A: That doesn’t sound like much of a special to…
  • Tight Fittin’ Jeans

    jolene.ewert@msu.montana.edu
    24 May 2015 | 5:03 pm
           Until today, I didn’t realize they made skinny jeans for adults. I really thought it was a 13 year old girl thing. But, there they were on the shelf and they were on sale so now I am the proud owner (well, the owner anyway). Don’t you absolutely dread the task of trying on clothes??…
  • Don’t Feed The Bears

    jolene.ewert@msu.montana.edu
    23 May 2015 | 7:14 pm
         We came home today to find a bear cub running through our front yard! We watched as several cars chased him down the street as he swerved in and out of yards. Pretty soon two young blonde ladies in flip flops, short shorts and wet t-shirt contest ready shirts came walking by. One asked “Like, did you…
  • Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

    jolene.ewert@msu.montana.edu
    22 May 2015 | 4:22 pm
         People never cease to amaze me with their rudeness. It costs nothing to be decent to your fellow man. Why is it hard to say hello to someone? Over the past few days, I have been snubbed several times. It’s that deal where I am walking towards someone (a stranger), they look up and…
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    Don't Burn The Ribs

  • Early Flight Hell

    carolynamaral@gmail.com
    22 May 2015 | 3:53 am
    I have officially placed a moratorium on early morning travel—specifically travel involving flights departing before eight a.m. Possibly, I will place a ban on late evening travel, as well, but there are only so many things I can rant about at any one time. Although, as I sit on my flight to Bermuda from Toronto like an Oreo packed inside its plastic tray, listening to the squeals of the baby to my rear and the wails of the toddler to my right, I have also implemented a West Jet travel ban. It’s just that kind of day. And on a related topic, I have discovered that…
  • Coconut Curry Chick-Pea & Vegetable Hodge-Podge (that will leave the carnivore wanting more)

    carolynamaral@gmail.com
    12 May 2015 | 2:20 pm
    The die-hard carnivore is not easily duped. You can’t slather a slab of tofu in barbecue sauce and pass it off as a T-bone and expect this breed to dig in with gusto. No. He or she (although the true, unfaltering carnivore is often of the husband variety) likes meat, big hunks of  juicy meat that have been skewered, seared, braised or grilled. The carnivore likes to gnaw meat off of bones and enjoys ribs, crispy and burnt. When you present a steaming hot plate of chick-peas and oven roasted vegetables smothered in a delicious coconut curry sauce, the carnivore digs in, but after a few…
  • Cape Breton Cinnamon Rolls (and really cheap wine)

    carolynamaral@gmail.com
    3 May 2015 | 5:31 am
    When you live in a Frat, far away from your grown-up kitchen, sometimes you have to improvise, especially when you have a food blog and are trying to pretend that you’re some kind of big-time cook. So when you decide that you want to bring your mother’s famous cinnamon rolls to your final writing workshop, your first challenge is rounding up the ingredients in your pathetically stocked pantry. When you finally find everything, you grab your too-small mixing bowl and cut your butter into the ingredients with a fork instead of a pastry cutter. Once things are mixed together and your…
  • Cross-Border Fajitas

    carolynamaral@gmail.com
    22 Apr 2015 | 11:34 am
    My sister, Brenda, wants me to smuggle Veri Veri Teriyaki Soy-Vay across the border on my upcoming trip from Miami to Ottawa.  Knowing my affection, (or should I say, affliction?) for footwear, she’d hoped I was checking in  a six-pack of luggage and could squeeze a couple of dozen bottles into the lining of my suitcases. I’ve disappointed her in my decision to only bring a carry-on. I’m considering a trip to  the drug store to buy a set of those little plastic travel bottles-—fill them with Soy-Vay. How many do you think I could fit in a quart-size Ziplock? Of course,…
  • Not Your Momma’s Brussels Sprouts (Otherwise known as Pasta Carbonara)

    carolynamaral@gmail.com
    11 Apr 2015 | 5:54 am
    DISCLAIMER: DUE TO THE EMOTIONAL NATURE OF THIS POST, IT IS A BIT LONGER THAN USUAL—INCLUDES GRAPHIC SPROUT IMAGES. Sometimes in life, there’s a certain food you would kill for, a food you would cross mountains to have, a food for which you would sell your oldest child (okay, there may be other reasons to sell your oldest child) but, suffice it to say, there are foods that sometimes you simply have to have. That food is not your momma’s brussels sprouts. What I’m talking about here are the brussels sprouts from Miami’s Eating House. Why, you might ask, do you have…
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    funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way

  • What If All The Shooter Games Looked Like LEGO

    necrodan
    27 May 2015 | 11:10 pm
    LEGO ShootersHere you have the chance to see how famous videogames like: Portal, Skyrim, Call Of Duty and Bioshock! Would you play these games in a LEGO version? They look pretty amazing even though its a bit childish. But hey, never let the kid inside you die! Have fun and have an amazing day! Credits: Youtube ChannelThe post What If All The Shooter Games Looked Like LEGO appeared first on funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way.
  • These Mini Horses Are Here To Make Your Day Better

    necrodan
    27 May 2015 | 11:00 pm
    These mini horses can be the perfect pets for those living in the country. Small enough to be easily transported and requiring less feed than a regular horse, they are a good animal to introduce little children to the equestrian arts. Their docile nature and long lifespan also make them suitable as assistance animals for persons with disabilities.Mini HorsesCredits: BoredpandaThe post These Mini Horses Are Here To Make Your Day Better appeared first on funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way.
  • Learn How To Make Deliciously LEGO Gummy Candies

    necrodan
    27 May 2015 | 5:45 am
    LEGO Gummy CandiesThis simple recipe for LEGO gummy candies is great for kids, and lets you pump out massive amounts of custom gummies, that are snack-able, and stackable as well! Absolutely great for parties! Wo-hoo! Credits: Youtube ChannelThe post Learn How To Make Deliciously LEGO Gummy Candies appeared first on funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way.
  • 10 Funny Photos Of Womens Logic You Will Never Understand

    necrodan
    27 May 2015 | 2:52 am
    As you already know, the internet is making fun of all kinds of things. I’ve found these pictures depicting the womens logic They are so funny and hilarious, you will surely die of laughter!Womens LogicThe post 10 Funny Photos Of Womens Logic You Will Never Understand appeared first on funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way.
  • The “Happy” Song Played In 10 Different Metal Bands Style Is What You Need Today

    necrodan
    25 May 2015 | 11:10 pm
    Happy In 10 Different Metal Bands StylesThe famous song by Pharell Williams – Happy is yet again interpreted in metal versions! But this time played with the style of 10 famous metal bands like: Metallica, Iron Maiden, Rammstein and many more! Take a look and see the awesomeness! Credits: Youtube ChannelThe post The “Happy” Song Played In 10 Different Metal Bands Style Is What You Need Today appeared first on funny images and videos, picdumps and fun all the way.
 
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    Amazingator

  • New App Can Guess If You’re Kim Kardashian Or Not

    Amazingator Staff
    3 May 2015 | 10:19 am
    Facial recognition is one of the hottest buzzwords around silicon valley these days. A new app from an up and coming start-up, based a few hundred miles from Microsoft, claims it can guess one important thing: Are you Kim Kardashian? We’ve decided to put the app to the test, and our editors have uploaded various pictures of themselves, along with random strangers, into the app. We’ve also uploaded two real pictures of Kim Kardashian. The results were astounding – the app was correct almost every single time, except for one understandable mishap. These were our results:…
  • The Biggest Game of Thrones Fan Ever: Gabriel Downloaded Every Episode

    Amazingator Staff
    12 Apr 2015 | 8:26 am
    Photo: Bigstock / HBO Gabriel M. (His full name is on record with us) from Ohio is probably the world’s biggest Game of Thrones fan. While he never read any of the books, he did meticulously watch EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the series so far, after downloading it via BitTorrent. More: Terrorist Group Threatens To Reveal “Game of Thrones” Ending “I actually downloaded the first episode by mistake”, he tells us shortly before the premiere of season 5. “I was looking for “The Canterbury Tales“, a British series starring Sean Bean [editor’s note: Sean…
  • This Gamer Got REALLY Mad With His Optimus Prime Toy

    Amazingator Staff
    14 Mar 2015 | 9:35 pm
    YouTube is full of game “review” videos. This gamer got just a bit TOO angry with his $500-worth Transformers toy of a G1 Optimus Prime. Want More? Give us your E-mail! Please! Subscribe The post This Gamer Got REALLY Mad With His Optimus Prime Toy appeared first on Amazingator.
  • Cat’s Tongue Caught on Camera For The First Time in History

    Amazingator Staff
    14 Mar 2015 | 3:13 am
    All cat owners know that our feline friends’ tongues are areas shrouded in mystery. Over the centuries, many researchers have tried to capture these sneaky organs, first with paintings and later on with sophisticated camera equipment – to no avail. Until today. In a surprising turn of events, this cat’s tongue was actually photographed by its owner – and the internet is going berserk over it. Not to be confused with the famous dress, in this case there are no questions or debates – the world is indeed at an awe, looking at this exposed tongue. Pet expert Dr.
  • Quiz: Sex Toy or Apple Device?

    Amazingator Staff
    7 Mar 2015 | 3:24 am
    Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Apple products are sexy. Sex toys are also sexy. Can you tell them apart? 1. Sex Toy or Apple Device?(Click “See Answer” to see the original photo) Sex Toy Apple Device  Loading… 2. Sex Toy or Apple Device? Sex Toy Apple Device  Loading… 3. Sex Toy or Apple Device? Sex Toy Apple Device  Loading… 4. Sex Toy or Apple Device? Sex Toy Apple Device  Loading… 5. Sex Toy or Apple Device? Sex Toy Apple Device  Loading… 6. Sex Toy or Apple…
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    Green Milk

  • Green Milk With Lou Sanders Was Epic

    The Genius
    26 May 2015 | 5:33 am
    Well, it might seem like we should have done this weeks ago, but we didn’t, so now we are which makes you thinking that fairly redundant. Ooo, that came across a tad more bitchy than it was meant to…   Let’s start again.   Hey, have a seat, take off your shoes and take a sip of that mimosa you sassy, sexy super sweet sort, you. The fourth Green Milk took place on election night, which meant that it wasn’t as great a turn out as most, what with all the little hearts that had to be broken by thinking that their vote even mattered. Of course, being Londoners we…
  • #4 Green Milk is Time Out Comedy Critic’s Choice!

    The Genius
    5 May 2015 | 1:47 am
    Just when we thought the world was about to give up on us; that the light was finally fading on our spectacular of special comics, we’ve been revivified by those beautiful people at Time Out comedy once more!   How?   Our fourth foray into our nights of celebrated madness has been made Time Out Comedy Critic’s Choice!   Well, it would be a crying shame not to, what with the unbelievable roster of comedians that we have on this night. From the effortlessly cool cat Lou Sanders and her surreal approach to life’s inaccuracies, to the ‘New Comedian of the…
  • Michael Jackson’s ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ Dubbed

    The Genius
    26 Apr 2015 | 11:05 am
    Just when you had forgotten just how creepy Michael Jackson was, another behind the scenes shoot comes to light. This time the gremlins that live inside cameras caught Michael and his gang up to no good on the streets of Lancaster, harassing women as it was his wont to do.     What a weirdo.   Credit: DAVID FIRTH The post Michael Jackson’s ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ Dubbed appeared first on Green Milk.
  • How To Be A Millionaire With Lou Sanders

    Gene Simmons
    24 Apr 2015 | 5:21 am
    We’ve been going through our fan mail recently and we just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the kind words that you’ve all said about how excellent we are and how much you like us! It really means a lot coming from you all. Thanks.   However, as we trawled through all the letters, there was one topic that kept coming up time and time again, which we have to profess we aren’t exactly experts on yet, and so we thought we’d let the headliner of our next night, Lou Sanders take over the reigns and show you precisely how you can also be a…
  • Green Milk Is Time Out Comedy Critic’s Choice

    The Genius
    28 Mar 2015 | 6:17 am
    We done gone and done it, ain’t we!? Our next night showcasing the talents of Liam Williams has been made Time Out Comedy’s Critic’s Choice. Oooosh. Back of the net, etc..   We can’t say we’re too surprised… the line up is simply scintillating, with the erudite Yorkshireman supported by a cracking line up of special guests including Bobby Mair, Beth Vyse, Olaf Falafel and some surprise acts too!     A night that promises to be the best of the bunch in central London, we’re extremely proud to showcase some of the more alternative comics…
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    The People Pleaser

  • Sharing is Caring

    The People Pleaser
    2 May 2015 | 12:20 pm
    Give me some of your endless joy,And I'll share with you some pain,Impart on me some wisdom old boy,And I'll demonstrate ignorance ingrained. Be generous with your cumbersome wealth,And I'll divide my expansive debt,Let me enjoy a taste of fitness and health,And you can experience an obesity sweat. Let me bathe in the warmth of your spotlight,And I'll teach you to survive in the dark,Let me view the world as an optimist might,And you can see it through the eyes of a shark. Explain to me your righteous, ethical way,And that morals are not for the weak only,Let me enjoy the…
  • A Laudable Lust for Learning or a Longing to be Lauded?

    The People Pleaser
    10 Apr 2015 | 1:07 pm
    I've got a bit of an obsession with learning new things. This leads me to wonder whether this is a genuine, healthy curiosity or an attempt to gain approval of others, or some sort or external validation. There are a few reasons that I'm even asking this question. First of all, most of the things I want to learn about are not very practical in (my) everyday life. Learning to write chinese characters, learning to backflip, philosophy, abstract scientific concepts that I don't really understand. These might be useful to diplomats, ninjas, academics and scientists, but they don't help me…
  • Vicariously Vivifying Violence through Victims of Vice and Vehemence

    The People Pleaser
    18 Mar 2015 | 2:05 pm
    I often feel a strange sense of excitement when reading about catastrophic events and always feel a sense of disappointment when they're over. An abhorrent thing, I know. But the feeling is there. If I read about a tsunami, plane crash, or some potential escalation in North Korea, I find that I'm hoping for it to blow out of proportion. It's not that I don't realise the reality of the situation, or the devastation it would cause to so many people. It's not that I think I will actually get any sort of enjoyment or happiness from it. I won't. There's just this ingrained desire for…
  • Money Money Money..... Money

    The People Pleaser
    10 Mar 2015 | 1:34 pm
    Money. It's a broad and sensitive topic. There are devoted lovers and haters of money and only a small number of those who are indifferent. The relative importance of money is something I continue to struggle with in my life. Balancing the pursuit of wealth with family life is a massive effort. This seems to have resulted in me living in the future more than the present. My wife accuses me of this frequently and although I vehemently deny it to her - it's true. The problem is that the future is uncertain, and with my pessimistic attitude, I tend to focus on the potential…
  • Hardly Homeless, However a Home Has not been Had

    The People Pleaser
    1 Mar 2015 | 12:10 pm
    How important is it to have a place to call home? Is a home more than just the people that occupy it? How much importance and real value can a physical location hold?These are questions I ask myself after speaking to people who have a place to call home - whether it be the house they grew up in, or just the town or city. They have one place that holds the vast majority of their memories, friends and family. Consequently, it also holds a great deal of importance to them and always offers a comforting feeling of familiarity and safety. I personally don't have this and this leads me to the…
 
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    Bustle Feed

  • How to properly fold your clothes *real*

    bustlefeed
    22 May 2015 | 1:51 pm
    Source:: http://9gag.com/gag/agve8MnThe post How to properly fold your clothes *real* appeared first on Bustle Feed.
  • Every House episode

    bustlefeed
    22 May 2015 | 1:51 pm
    Source:: http://9gag.com/gag/aby8rrLThe post Every House episode appeared first on Bustle Feed.
  • Dr. Who fans will understand

    bustlefeed
    22 May 2015 | 1:51 pm
    Source:: http://9gag.com/gag/aQ4jEKdThe post Dr. Who fans will understand appeared first on Bustle Feed.
  • With all the gentlemen talk here currently on 9gag.

    bustlefeed
    22 May 2015 | 9:48 am
    Source:: http://9gag.com/gag/am0ZP1jThe post With all the gentlemen talk here currently on 9gag. appeared first on Bustle Feed.
  • This why I'm afraid of the Ocean.

    bustlefeed
    22 May 2015 | 9:48 am
    Source:: http://9gag.com/gag/aGwQBmKThe post This why I'm afraid of the Ocean. appeared first on Bustle Feed.
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    BoredBug

  • Crazy Facts You Probably Don’t Know

    Marie De Jesus
    28 May 2015 | 7:40 am
    These crazy facts probably aren’t going to make you rich (but maybe these strategies to growing your money to a million will), but they’re certainly going to blow your mind! #1 Fruit Stickers The stickers that supermarkets use on fruit are edible.  Even the glue they use is food grade.  So don’t be afraid if you accidentally eat part of that sticker! #2 The Roman Colosseum The Roman Colosseum had a retractable roof.  Talk about ahead of its time! #3 Michael Bolton When Ozzy Osbourne left Black Sabbath, Michael Bolton auditioned for his spot.  There seems to be a…
  • 30 Biopic Actors and Actresses and Their Real-Life Counterparts

    Pardillo
    28 May 2015 | 2:53 am
    From political figures like Margaret Thatcher to social network visionary Mark Zuckerberg and rock legend Jim Morrison, there have been a number of famous people who have had biographical movies made about them and the interesting and colorful lives they have led. Several well-known celebrities have starred in these great biopics, but just how accurate is their depiction of these famous historical and cultural figures? With these juxtaposed images of actors and actresses in full costume with the photos of the actual people they are trying to depict, the viewer is able to asses the…
  • Shocking Facts About Your Favorite Food

    Marie De Jesus
    28 May 2015 | 2:29 am
    These shocking facts about your favorite food will literally blow your mind.  If you love food, also check out this post on food that will rock your world. #1 Popcorn A cup of air-popped popcorn has more antioxidants (polyphenols) than the regular fruit or vegetable.  So don’t feel guilty about eating it at the movie house (just don’t slather it in butter)! #2 Froot Loops All Froot Loops taste exactly the same, no matter what their color.  Maybe the difference you sense is psychological, based on their color! #3 Berries Raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries are not…
  • These Awesome Interactive Tattoos Will Really Amaze You

    Lauren Davidson
    28 May 2015 | 12:02 am
    Tattooing is an art, in which everyone can express themselves with their favorite drawings etched onto their skin forever. The ‘forever’ part is why it’s so important to choose a good tattooist and a good drawing, in order to avoid future regrets. However, not only do some people like to have a simple drawing done, but they also like to be innovative and change the way we see their tattoos. We’re about to show you guys some highly creative people who decided to do something different and get an interactive tattoo. So, here’s a special selection of the 30 most…
  • 30 Of the Most Powerful Images Ever Taken

    Pardillo
    27 May 2015 | 11:38 pm
    This post is not the usual fun and hilarious stuff you see here at Bored Bug. This post is a collection of some of the most powerful images this world has ever seen. Raw and unforgettable photos that has touched and moved millions of people all over the world. Just a word of warning to our readers, some images may be upsetting to some people while others might cause you to be overcome with joy and triumph. The following images you’re about to see represent the worst and best in all of us. May this post remind us all that the world can be a place of kindness, that we are all each…
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    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs

  • When you loose your love and adjusting to living alone

    Viewer Submission
    27 May 2015 | 6:20 pm
    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs - Going from a life of one, moving up to a life of two, then going back to a life of one again… For those of you out there who are going off on your own, after living with another person for a great majority of your adult life, it is a HUGE adjustment no matter how much you wanted it or didn’t want it…it’s absolutely HUGE!  For some of us, who were never intending to start over and begin a new journey, one that involves living in seclusion, it might help to learn that your…
  • How To Choose A Good Power Bank

    Joly Joy
    22 May 2015 | 3:52 pm
    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs - Smart phones have become a necessary part of our working and private life.The multiple applications and heavy features of phones, do not allow the phone battery to be going with you for a long time. A black screen would always be irritating when you have to receive or send an urgent email. Power bank is an external battery which is made to facilitate users in such circumstances. So, if you have a power bank you don’t need to worry about running out of juice. A large variety of power…
  • Whats next after a failed relationship

    Viewer Submission
    14 May 2015 | 10:42 am
    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs - Relationships sometimes have unwanted endings, and hearts that were once strong are left in a weak fragile state! One day, the grim reaper of relationships came and stood right in front of me and put his big nasty hand right over my heart and said this …”Listen up lady, the happily ever after scenario you planned on is not happening for YOU! Reality check!…You better get ready because your relationship ENDING is starting right NOW!” Then BAM…He reached his hand into…
  • 5 ways to overcome body image insecurity

    O.K. Jones
    12 May 2015 | 10:48 am
    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs - Just a bit taller. Or a nip here and there.  I wish this was smaller and this a bit rounder. I only want to change these 5 parts of me. I know we all have done it. We mentally dissect our body the mirror drawing lines of areas we wish would vanish. Its not just a once a week ordeal but a daily struggle. Over 90% of women are unhappy with their body and only 5% of women naturally posses the images depicted on t.v. The search for the ideal body image has become and epidemic in our society.
  • The Brownstone Chronicle | The Sentinel

    Viewer Submission
    8 May 2015 | 6:21 pm
    Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs Submit Posts, Pictures, Articles, Opinions, Blogs - What I’m about to tell you may be the truth and maybe I made it up you can decide… In 1977 I saw this movie…it was calledThe SentinelIn the movie, the owners of a Brooklyn brownstone are these less than stellar excommunicated priests.  In the attic of this brownstone, there’s this blind priest who sits in a chair 24/7 and guards some gateway to hell, which HAPPENS to be located in the attic of this brownstone. This guy is known as The Sentinel. Stay with me here… Not long ago in a…
 
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    IllustrArticles

  • How To Appreciate Wine (Like A Classy Grownup)

    Tanya Pshenychny
    7 May 2015 | 4:19 am
    Wine is an acquired taste. A few years ago, I didn’t drink wine. I even kind of hated it. Now, I love it. Have no fear, I will gladly guide you through the steps of how to appreciate and acquire a taste for wine. I won’t tell you which wine label is the best, but I do recommend following these steps barefoot. Step 1: Have An Encouraging & Discouraging Parent When your mother loves wine and encourages you to take a swig of it every time she has a glass, you are more likely to follow in her path of winelovedom. Plus, she already chose the wine label for you – Free…
  • I Hate Waiting In Limes

    Tanya Pshenychny
    30 Apr 2015 | 4:04 am
    GROCERY STORE—A groundbreaking new study suggests that people in a grocery store are more likely to spend their time shopping than waiting in limes. The study happened by accident when I was grocery shopping and picked up one lime from the bottom of the lime pile. All of the sudden, the rest of the limes rolled off the stand to the ground. It was then that I became the only person in the store waiting in the limes for someone to come help me. Although limes contain less Vitamin C than lemons, even when ingested correctly, limes are still 58% more painful to sit on than any other citrus…
  • Reader Judged For Reading Article

    Tanya Pshenychny
    23 Apr 2015 | 4:12 am
    INTERNET—A reader was mercilessly judged by at least six people today, for reading this exact news article. Those six people asked to remain anonymous because they “didn’t want to be associated with the reader’s name”. And, because they didn’t want anyone to judge them for judging the reader or be judged by that reader. The reader also asked to remain anonymous because even the reader didn’t want to be associated with the reader’s own name for the possibility of being judged. This very article was judged as important to everyone in question, judging by…
  • Staples Employee Denies Devouring Office Depot, OfficeMax, And A Little Dog, Too

    Tanya Pshenychny
    16 Apr 2015 | 4:02 am
    Theodore Rex, a 7,298 year-old Staples employee, has been convicted of swallowing both of Staples competitor store chains, Office Depot and OfficeMax. And just the day before being charged for that, Rex ate a dog that was tied to a pole by a 7-Eleven in the morning, tore apart a co-worker from limb-to-limb in the afternoon, and later swallowed a waiter whole in the evening at Olive Garden. Rex has been charged for disorderly conduct for this raging behavior and sentenced to eight anger management classes. Rex pleaded not guilty on all accounts. He said that the charges make no sense because…
  • Outraged Bird Complains While Audience Listens Attentively

    Tanya Pshenychny
    9 Apr 2015 | 4:01 am
    A rambunctious bird was tweeting expletives passive-aggressively at no one in particular while standing up on a maple tree Monday night. Her fellow bird friends took off as neighborhood cats started to surround the tree. The bird got offended that everybirdie else left, but was still too fixated on her own #FirstBirdProblems to notice the cats, and continued squawking. “I can’t believe the terrible operating systems around here, especially the window ones. How do these geniuses expect us to join them for lunch once in a while to keep the peace between our species when they can’t…
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    Internet Acid

  • Why pop music sucks

    Internet Acid
    27 May 2015 | 9:21 pm
    A song can become popular and technically turn into a pop song. However, when people hear the phrase ‘pop song’ what comes to mind is something created from the bottom up simply to make money. Art is all about expressing thoughts, conveying the human experience through emotion, feelings, stories, to change perspectives and help people […] The post Why pop music sucks appeared first on Internet Acid.
  • Why Lil B is a genius

    Internet Acid
    26 May 2015 | 7:53 pm
    I said it in the title and I’ll say it again, Lil B is a genius. That’s the type of statement to incite people to pull out their pitchforks and roast you to shreds, but believe me, Lil B is a genius. The obvious argument against Lil B, the based god being a genius is: […] The post Why Lil B is a genius appeared first on Internet Acid.
  • Edgy teen plans to bash military on Memorial Day 2015

    Internet Acid
    24 May 2015 | 6:47 am
    Memorial Day 2015, picnics, barbecues, a nice cold beer, chilled soda pop, ketchup and mustard, fighter jets flying through the air, left over fireworks, it’s a day to remember and honor those American citizens who died in battle or service to their country. One edgy teen from Ohio plans to bash the military on Memorial […] The post Edgy teen plans to bash military on Memorial Day 2015 appeared first on Internet Acid.
  • Boy can’t stop saying top kek

    Internet Acid
    23 May 2015 | 7:38 pm
    Words are like swords, or in this case, floppy dildos and one Portland area boy’s over use of the term top kek has pushed his parents, family, and school administration to the breaking point. The phrase top kek, like most internet terms has a long and treasured history that most users of the word don’t […] The post Boy can’t stop saying top kek appeared first on Internet Acid.
  • SJW pull request on the constitution

    Internet Acid
    23 May 2015 | 7:05 pm
    A woman asking to remain anonymous, that is unless she is successful asked the U.S.A to amend the preamble to the constitution. The SJW pull request could potentially help millions of Americans in some unknown way. A pull request is when a person finds something offensive and asks the distributor to ‘pull’ said thing from […] The post SJW pull request on the constitution appeared first on Internet Acid.
 
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    Funny Clips Online

  • Water Slide Fail | Fail | AFV

    funny
    28 May 2015 | 1:20 am
    A little girl gets really excited and unfortunately falls off the edge of her water slide into the grass. Fortunately, the tot was 100% fine and was ready to do it again! Watch all-new episodes of AFV on Sunday nights at 7/6c, on ABC! SUBSCRIBE: http://afv.tv/afvofficial Want a chance to be on AFV? UPLOAD YOUR […]The post Water Slide Fail | Fail | AFV appeared first on Funny Clips Online.
  • Gymnastics Flip Fail | Fail | AFV

    funny
    27 May 2015 | 9:04 pm
    A kid attempts to do a flip and ends up hitting his head on a swing set! Watch all-new episodes of AFV on Sunday nights at 7/6c, on ABC! SUBSCRIBE: http://afv.tv/afvofficial Want a chance to be on AFV? UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO NOW: http://www.afv.tv/uploadafv About America’s Funniest Home Videos: AFV is America’s longest running funny video […]The post Gymnastics Flip Fail | Fail | AFV appeared first on Funny Clips Online.
  • Small Bike Fail | Fail | AFV

    funny
    27 May 2015 | 4:43 pm
    A kid learns to ride a bike and falls on his knees. His mom then tries to show him how to do it. Watch all-new episodes of AFV on Sunday nights at 7/6c, on ABC! SUBSCRIBE: http://afv.tv/afvofficial Want a chance to be on AFV? UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO NOW: http://www.afv.tv/uploadafv About America’s Funniest Home Videos: AFV […]The post Small Bike Fail | Fail | AFV appeared first on Funny Clips Online.
  • Jet Ski Fall | Fail | AFV

    funny
    27 May 2015 | 12:21 pm
    A family takes a ride around on a jet ski and ends up tipping over before they even get started! Watch all-new episodes of AFV on Sunday nights at 7/6c, on ABC! SUBSCRIBE: http://afv.tv/afvofficial Want a chance to be on AFV? UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO NOW: http://www.afv.tv/uploadafv About America’s Funniest Home Videos: AFV is America’s longest […]The post Jet Ski Fall | Fail | AFV appeared first on Funny Clips Online.
  • Cannon Fail | Fail | AFV

    funny
    27 May 2015 | 8:01 am
    A family loads a cannon and awaits for it to go off. Unfortunately for them, the cannon ball only goes about 5 feet. SUBSCRIBE: http://afv.tv/afvofficial Want a chance to be on AFV? UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO NOW: http://www.afv.tv/uploadafv About America’s Funniest Home Videos: AFV is America’s longest running funny video television program. We’ve been collecting videos […]The post Cannon Fail | Fail | AFV appeared first on Funny Clips Online.
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    LOLWOT

  • 11 Amazing Facts You Didn’t Know About Eggs

    Mala Srivastava
    28 May 2015 | 7:19 am
    Eggs are an excellent source of nutrients. An egg contains some healthy unsaturated fats and 6 grams of protein. Eggs are also a good source of zeaxanthin, lutein and choline. Lutein and zeaxanthin may protect against loss of vision and choline has been associated with preserving memory. What’s more, studies have shown that eating eggs for breakfast can help you shed body weight. There are many more amazing facts about eggs that are worth learning. Here are some of them. Egg Shell Color The color of an egg shell does not indicate the nutritional value or quality of an egg, but rather…
  • 20 Kids Napping In Hilarious Places

    Chelsea Kram
    28 May 2015 | 6:36 am
    There’s nothing more annoying than being awoken from a nap for any reason – and that includes camera flashes. But these kids just looked too hilarious when they were asleep that their parents could not help but document it, and most of the time they look to be in such a deep sleep that nothing could wake them. From falling asleep face down, standing up, or in a way that simply could not be comfortable, these are some pretty funny napping kids. On An Office Chair This little lady must have had a really tough day at work to need to nap on an office chair. Most of us have been there,…
  • 15 Most Dangerous Cars Of All Time

    Nathan Gibson
    28 May 2015 | 6:05 am
    Designers and manufacturers have made a huge number of improvements to the vehicles that they have created over the past century. They are now faster, more fuel efficient and luxurious than ever before. However, the biggest improvement has arguably come in the safety department. In the past, those wishing to travel longer distances could often put their lives at risk by choosing the wrong mode of transportation. Poor raw materials made for cars that could fail catastrophically at a moments notice, strange designs could have unforeseen consequences when put into practice and safety technology…
  • 11 Foreign Words That Sound Filthy In English

    Jamie Obaks
    28 May 2015 | 5:32 am
    If you’re in an English-speaking country, you surely know how to mind your manners (at least in public, anyway). There are words that we were taught not to say, especially in the company of others. But, what if you’re in a foreign land, where the native language is not English? This may not be the case! In fact, there are quite a few filthy English words that are normal, everyday words in other countries, and you should definitely know them before booking your trip! What’s That Smell? Somehow the word fart makes everyone laugh. Whether you’re four or forty, passing…
  • Idaho Man Survives After Being Struck By Lightning

    Brian Spaen
    28 May 2015 | 4:43 am
    They say that you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than winning the lottery. Perhaps a man from Nampa, Idaho, should start buying some tickets after facing the unbelievably rare odds and being able to live through it. Ryan Cross was spending Memorial Day weekend in a camping area with some friends. They were riding dirt bikes and four-wheelers until a storm started passing through. Hail began to fall and Ryan decided to get out of the area as fast as possible. USA Today caught up with Heather Cross, Ryan’s wife, who was absent from the group but was able to get the…
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    Oomphkart Blog

  • Shopping is Therapy

    admin
    6 May 2015 | 6:17 am
    Do you want to be the girl who sobs over her break up and drowns herself in tub of ben and jerry? Let some jimmy choos wash away your blues baby! Retail therapy as popularly known is a great stress buster especially for women.   Most women desire to go to the mall not for buying that one silky dress to elaborate their curves but more because it gives them certain sense of accomplishment, finding that one silky dress after visiting fifty odd stores. This sure induces a feeling of worthiness in females and justifies the cash spent on it. Retail therapy certainly gives a surge of dopamaine…
  • 10 gifts your mom would love on mother’s day

    admin
    5 May 2015 | 6:19 am
    It’s that time of the year when social media tells you that you need to thank your mother! If you think you are above and beyond these social media gimmick, Stop! What will happen to all those kitty parties where your mom is supposed to flaunt her ‘raja beta’? Have you thought how upset your wife will be if you don’t send a gift to your mother in law? And dare not forget your grandmother for she will throw a grand tantrum if she doesn’t get her gift on mother’s day.   To make life easy, here are few ideas that will help you restore your title of “best son”   Phone…
  • How to choose the Right gift for the perfect occasion

    admin
    21 Apr 2015 | 7:23 am
    How would you feel if someone gets you a bottle of wine on your baby shower? Or a Buddha on a birthday? Or maybe a Tie on housewarming? That sure will make you feel the sender did not give much thought to the gift. Some people like to play it safe with bouquets and chocolates but then are some who would never seize to amaze you with their gifting abilities. Gifts are less about money and more about thought. Sometimes something as simple as potted plant and cup & saucer with a little card saying “lets grow together” can mean a lot more than decked up flower bouquet.    …
  • 5 kinds of friends you would find in every party

    admin
    3 Feb 2015 | 4:08 am
    House Party or Pool party or Party in Social Delhi, You always come across these people ‘jo hai har party ki jaan’ Wanna be Alia Bhatt- “Only diet coke please because I am on a Diet” Pretty girl with stylish clothes always pointing at her new heels. Perfect winged eyeliner.It gets dull without her because she is the “Pataka Guddi“ of your Party. Mr Shy Guy-  “yaar mujhe ghar jaana hai” And in the middle of the party you will hear a voice from this guy who has been quietly sitting in a corner.The guy with a sweet smile and often considered as no harm, safe guy by his…
  • What people really mean when they post status on Facebook

    admin
    27 Jan 2015 | 11:03 pm
     5 Quintessential Insufferable FB Status Updates And the #SatyavachanStorybehind them We spend approximately 10% of a regular day scrolling through the incessantly mundane New Feed and yet there’s no getting out of it! Out of the 10 updates you’d read, chances are 6 would be annoying, 3 banal and perhaps 1 useful and this is only when you’re lucky! So why do people post these useless updates? Allow us to explain as we decode the 5 most common types of updates. Aaj Main UparAasmaNeeche   Status- OMG! I just received the Oscar, Emmy, Tony and Grammy while I was on a holiday in the…
 
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    is it ok that?

  • Is it ok that: These Companies Clearly Didn’t Think about Their Logos?

    markbeddau
    27 May 2015 | 12:28 pm
    The 17 Worst Company Logos Ever Conceived As somebody who worked at an ad agency for years, let me say that there is absolutely no excuse for the release of poorly done, overtly sexual graphics for businesses that don’t deal in sex. Logos, like commercials, billboards, magazine ads, etc. must go through several hands and approval processes before the final product is presented to the client. So, with that being the case, it can only be assumed that some of these logos were intended to be at least somewhat sexual, because – well, just look at them. Sun Rise Sushi According to the…
  • Is it ok that This Woman Has Spent $144,000 to look like a Caricature?

    markbeddau
    27 May 2015 | 11:47 am
    This Woman Has Spent Over $144,000 To Look Like A Caricature But Wound Up Looking Like A Dumpster Instead Facebook For reference, here is a dumpster: Shutterstock Now for even more reference, here’s Krystina Butel: And because we here at BroBible are thorough (lol), here is a side-by-side comparison: Shutterstock / Facebook Can you tell which one is Krystina and which one is a dumpster? No? Me neither. I’m glad they didn’t have questions like this on the SAT, otherwise I would’ve gone straight to trade school and be spending my life digging out septic tanks and doing other unpleasant…
  • Is it ok that: These People Took Drunk to a Whole New Level?

    markbeddau
    26 May 2015 | 1:47 pm
    This Is Why You Shouldn’t Get Blackout Drunk If you want to drink and have fun, go for it. Just make sure there isn’t a camera around to document any of the shameful things you might do while under the influence of alcohol. Better not risk it, so just drink alone at home after work while blasting the Sam Smith playlist so no one hears you crying. Check out the video below to understand why it’s best not to get totally trashed in public.   Sourced from Mandatory.com     Related articles across the web Sam Smith What’s Next… In His Own Words! Sam…
  • Is it ok that: This man offered Barack Obama half a Farmyard for his daughters hand in marriage?

    markbeddau
    26 May 2015 | 1:28 pm
    Kenyan Lawyer Offers Barack Obama 50 Cows, 70 Sheep And 30 Goats For His Daughter’s Hand In Marriage We imagine US President Barack Obama is probably inundated with offers every day, that’s probably why he has so many people around him to help arrange his affairs. One offer he may want to deal with himself though is from a young Kenyan lawyer who wants to marry his daughter Malia… for the sum of 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats. Felix Kiprono says his dream is to marry one of Obama’s daughters and thinks the transaction is viable because the US President’s family…
  • Is it ok that: These 27 people failed so badly at Facebook?

    markbeddau
    25 May 2015 | 1:25 pm
    27 People Who Just Lost Their Facebook Privileges Step away from the computer and think about what you’ve done. 1. This criminal mastermind. reddit.com 2. This complicated couple. reddit.com 3. This woman who doesn’t think much of her husband. reddit.com 4. This person who never looks back. reddit.com 5. This wine connoisseur. reddit.com 6. This homeschool teacher. reddit.com 7. This confused uncle/aunt. reddit.com 8. This person who is definitely not a taxi driver. reddit.com 9. This mother of the year candidate. reddit.com 10. This time lord. reddit.com 11. This fan of the woodwind…
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    ViralBerg

  • He Crashed iPhone With This Simply Dangerous Text Message.. [Going Viral]

    Jen Benson
    28 May 2015 | 2:40 am
      A recently noticed bug in Apple’s iOS mobile os has appeared tonight that lets iPhone users crash another user’s iPhone by simply sending a little string of text characters in a message.   The bug has to do with the Messages app and also the notification system utilized by iPhone and iPad devices and seems to work only when there’s iPhone to iPhone interaction. A string of specific Arabic characters (see the image above) used in the message causes the iPhone to constantly crash whenever a particular text is received and — apparently in many cases — causes the…
  • 11 Facts about Earthquakes Along With Their Aftermath That Will Shake Your Core!

    Rock
    27 May 2015 | 11:38 pm
    11 facts about earthquakes Along With Their Aftermath That Will Shake The Core!  Earthquakes have always been scary. They because extensive death and destruction, thus making you realize that mankind may think about itself to be highly developed, but Nature has the upper hand. Go ahead and look at following facts concerning earthquakes if you’re not convinced. 1. Earthquake in New Zealand Each year, about 20,000 earthquakes are documented by The National Earthquake Information Center (NEIC) worldwide. That’s about 50 per day! Millions of earthquakes go unfiled each year because…
  • Cartwheeling Spiders? These 10 Newly Found Species Can Blow Your Mind!

    Jen Benson
    27 May 2015 | 1:35 pm
    Recently the ESF International Institute for Species Exploration publishes a list of the “Top 10 New Species.” In no specific order, the following is their selection for 2015 from more than 18,000 species discovered in the past year. A cartwheeling spider, a bird-like dinosaur and finally, fish that wriggles around on the sea surface to produce a circular nesting site are among the species identified by ESF as the Top 10 New Species for 2015. 2 animals – a frog that gives birth to tadpoles as well as a wasp that utilizes dead ants to defend its nest – are strange due…
  • Unusual Lenticular Clouds STARTING BLEND ON FACEBOOK

    Jen Benson
    27 May 2015 | 11:48 am
    FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) — an unusual picture was taken over Texas on Monday. These pictures by M. Davis show unique lenticular clouds in the skies over Robertson and Leon areas in Texas after severe weather moved through the region. Now how do they really develop? ABC30 AM Live meteorologist Shelby Latino declares these types of clouds are most frequent over mountain tops where air is pushed upward and cooled to create a cloud. In such case, though, the cold front left out a cold pool of air that worked just like a mountain, pushing the nearly-saturated air upward and creating these types…
  • You Wont Believe How This Man Survived – Video

    Rock
    27 May 2015 | 6:51 am
    You Wont Believe How This Man Survived – Video   Just God Has Power to SaveJust God Has Power to Save Posted by Viralberg on Wednesday, 27 May 2015 The post You Wont Believe How This Man Survived – Video appeared first on ViralBerg.
 
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