Humor

  • Most Topular Stories

  • Mindfulness, Meditation and Me

    Barb Best
    Barb Best
    21 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
        MINDFUL AWARENESS can be defined as paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. It is an excellent antidote to the stresses of modern times. It invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one’s inner experience. - Diana Winston, Director for Mindfulness […] The post Mindfulness, Meditation and Me appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Infographic: Tips For Throwing The Perfect Halloween Party

    The Onion
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:05 pm
    Americans around the nation are buying costumes, stocking up on candy, renting scary movies, and decorating their homes for spooky Halloween parties.
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    nonamedufus
    19 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
  • Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:42 am
    So my friend Maile came to my house to pick me up for lunch and we were a block away when I saw something large and hairy in the back of the pick-up heading toward us, I thought “That is the biggest fucking dog I have ever seen” and then the truck got closer and I thought, “That can’t be a dog.  Is that Sasquatch?”  And then the pickup passed us and I involuntarily screamed: “WATER BUFFALO!” And then Maile looked at me with mild confusion (probably because I’d just interrupted her story which had nothing to do with water buffalos) and I…
  • This is what’s happening in my mind anyway.

    The Bloggess
    thebloggess
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    This weekend I’ll be at WordCamp in San Francisco to talk about blogging. I’m not afraid to admit that my 10-year-old daughter knows far more about coding than I do, and that I suspect anyone who can create a website using strings of seemingly random words and numbers must be involved in some sort of witchcraft.  If anyone asks me any difficult questions about programming or java or algorithms I will probably react in almost exactly this way: You’ve been warned, San Francisco.
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    The Bloggess

  • This is what’s happening in my mind anyway.

    thebloggess
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    This weekend I’ll be at WordCamp in San Francisco to talk about blogging. I’m not afraid to admit that my 10-year-old daughter knows far more about coding than I do, and that I suspect anyone who can create a website using strings of seemingly random words and numbers must be involved in some sort of witchcraft.  If anyone asks me any difficult questions about programming or java or algorithms I will probably react in almost exactly this way: You’ve been warned, San Francisco.
  • Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

    thebloggess
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:42 am
    So my friend Maile came to my house to pick me up for lunch and we were a block away when I saw something large and hairy in the back of the pick-up heading toward us, I thought “That is the biggest fucking dog I have ever seen” and then the truck got closer and I thought, “That can’t be a dog.  Is that Sasquatch?”  And then the pickup passed us and I involuntarily screamed: “WATER BUFFALO!” And then Maile looked at me with mild confusion (probably because I’d just interrupted her story which had nothing to do with water buffalos) and I…
  • Is Victor wrong? (UPDATED FOR MORE AWESOMENESS.)

    thebloggess
    21 Oct 2014 | 11:44 am
    Last week I tweeted: I’m forever googling ridiculous things to prove Victor wrong in our debates. I need a website that just says: “YOU’RE WRONG, VICTOR.” It would save me so much time. And I could use that time to plant articles on the internet proving my incorrect ideas. Everyone wins. Within minutes I got these from Doug, Jason, Nancy and Trevor: YouAreWrongVictor.com IsVictorWrong.com  @IsVictorWrong And that is why I love the internet. PS. Our current argument is whether I should be able to introduce myself to strangers at dinner parties as a “real-life…
  • I was going to title this “Letting the cat out of the bag” but, frankly, I think we’re all better than that.

    thebloggess
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    I just went to throw away the empty sack Victor left on the counter after he unpacked the groceries* but then I heard the bag rustling and looked at Victor and said, “Sir?  Have you left your bags unattended at any time?” And then Ferris Mewler gave me that panicked guilty look of “OMG, WTF?  KNOCK FIRST” and I was like, “Hang on.  What did you do?”  And that’s when I looked in and realized he’d ripped open a catnip mouse in there and was having a small, paranoid kitty freak-out. It was like a tiny paper hotbox and now I think he…
  • Well, they’ll never have to restock at least.

    thebloggess
    17 Oct 2014 | 7:57 am
    Picture I took outside my grocery store: Inflation is really getting out of hand. On my way out I showed the cashier the picture and asked if the price was really “zero bundles of wood for $3.95″ and she told me that she wasn’t sure how much wood was but that they’d honor whatever the price was on the sign.  I asked how much it would cost if I bought a dozen bundles and she stared at her register keys for a minute and then said “Oh.  Wait.  I think I need a manager.”  And that would be good because if I’m reading it right the sign basically…
 
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    Damn You Auto Correct!

  • Insurgent Dentists

    Lyndsey
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:54 pm
    Submitted by herenogo The post Insurgent Dentists appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • About Those Panties…

    Lyndsey
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    Submitted by Jennifer The post About Those Panties… appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Even Apple gets Autocorrected!

    Lyndsey
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Chatting with Apple Help Desk when my MacBook went weird and they got hit with their own Autocorrect! Wondering how often he talks about peasants……? Submitted by Becky The post Even Apple gets Autocorrected! appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Carnival of Horrors

    Lyndsey
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:39 pm
    I don’t even want to know how the experience turned out. Submitted by KE The post Carnival of Horrors appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
  • Game Night

    Lyndsey
    24 Oct 2014 | 3:58 pm
    Submitted by Jack The post Game Night appeared first on Damn You Auto Correct!.
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    CollegeHumor: Videos

  • LeVar Burton Reads "Go The F**k To Sleep"

    25 Oct 2014 | 4:11 pm
    <iframe width="600" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/e1fzkPHqLI4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> via mkmcnll During a recent livestreamed event, LeVar Burton lent his family-friendly reading talents to the ...
  • Terry Crews Schools A Rugby Team In A Dance-Off

    25 Oct 2014 | 12:09 pm
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6GblPlprAFE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> via Bernard Myburgh You might r...
  • Extreme Wheelbarrowing is a Thing in Germany, Kinda

    24 Oct 2014 | 12:36 pm
    <iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/109624297?byline=0" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> "Whoa, brah, SICK wheelbarrow moves." Is what I imagine
  • How To Turn Your Couples' Costume Into a Singles' Costume

    24 Oct 2014 | 11:30 am
  • That Time Adam Sandler Tried to Look at Shaq's Dick

    24 Oct 2014 | 9:34 am
    Retired basketball star, maker of Shaq soda, Miami cop, and personal giant to his girlfriend  -- Shaq stands at 7'1 and weighs 325 pounds. So, it's only natural for one to be curious what the guy is packin' under his gym shorts. Next to that strange guy in the Guinness  Book of World Records with the biggest dick, Shaq is the human who's johnson probably closest resembles an actual anaconda.  Adam Sandler told Conan the story of his quest to see Shaq's penis and the ultimate outcome. Conan then had his team animate the story into a pretty cool tale of Sandler's desire to catch a glimpse of…
 
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    McSweeney’s

  • No One Can Tell Me What to Do—Except for People With the Proper Authority to Do So by Zack Bornstein

    24 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    Haters are always up in my grill, telling me “Shep this,” “Shep that.” You think I need you fools telling me how to live my life? You think I made it 26 badass years by listening to dumberonis like you? Well, guess again: No one tells me what the hell to do! Because I already know what my available actions are within any given context after having been normalized through two and a half decades of regimented socialization, stupid!You think I don’t know that yelling out loud in public is only appropriate at sporting events, raucous music venues, and in the immediate aftermath of a…
  • @thereal_saintfrancis_: Canticle of the Cool by Nick Farrell and Rachel Farrell

    24 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    - -- -- - - -McSweeney’s is now a nonprofit and we would greatly appreciate your help. Click the button to donate. Thank you!
  • Open Letters: An Open Letter to People Who Sell Sofas On Craigslist by Angie Pelekidis

    24 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Dear Craigslist Sellers of Sofas,Please learn to rotate your photos so they’re right side up. I shouldn’t have to visit the chiropractor after looking at your delightful purple sofa.I would also appreciate it if you could stand back a few feet when you photograph your couch so that I can see more than a part of one arm or a one-foot-wide section of the back. You’re not Annie Leibovitz, I presume (because why would she be in Binghamton trying to sell a sofa?), so a single photo that consists of an artistic close-up of your late grandmother’s “vintage Victorian” couch doesn’t do…
  • Trader Joe’s Waiting in Line App by Kristy Eldredge

    23 Oct 2014 | 4:01 am
    Where are you in the line? Near the tostadas and beer shelf (not too bad) By the flowers (it’ll be hours) I’m not sure where they’ve wedged us but we’ve gone around twiceWhat are you buying today? Peanut Biscotti Pumpkin Brittle Pumpkin Cranberry CrispsOther customers who bought those items also bought: Pumpkin Joe Joes Pumpkin Scone Cookies Pumpkin Body ButterAre you a basket or cart Trader Joe’s shopper? Basket CartHow heavy is your basket, if you’re a basket person? Not that heavy Very heavyWhich side of the line are you waiting in? Right LeftHow is that line moving? Fairly…
  • List: Vanity Plates the Unidentified Subject of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” Should Consider Getting For His Next Car by Gary M. Almeter

    23 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    SUNUVAGUNLIV2GAVOTGAVOTTRAPRCT 5CRF1EYEINMIRRORBLO1EYEGRLZDRM2BMYPRTNROMG 5PYCL5FRENZWYFTHE5ONGIZABTMEGOIN 2 5RTGACARLYLVRIHADCARLYCARLY69DOINCARLYTHXCARLYIM 5O VAINNOT HUMBLE3GOC3NTRIKAH5TENTA5H15- - - -McSweeney’s is now a nonprofit and we would greatly appreciate your help. Click the button to donate. Thank you!
 
 
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    Cracked: All Posts

  • 5 Absurd Characters You See in Every High School Movie

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Felix Clay  Published: October 25th, 2014  Maybe I just went to a weird high school, but in my experience actual school and Hollywood school are about as similar as actual people and Kanye West. Sure there were different groups of people -- there were jocks, there were nerds, there was a tabl
  • The 24 Creepiest Discoveries People Just Stumbled Into

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By CRACKED Readers  Published: October 25th, 2014  As you're about to find out, some discoveries are less Holy Grail and more Necronomicon. With the help of practitioner of the dark photo arts Auntiememe, we present baffling and downright creepy discoveries people ever chanced upon.
  • 4 Ways Terrible Zombie Movies Foretell the End of Society

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Alex Schmidt  Published: October 25th, 2014  I'm not a huge movie nerd. I mean, I love movies, but I try to remember they're just entertainment. That's why I swore long ago to never let a bad movie fill me with all-consuming, day-ruining rage. Well, aside from Transformers 4, obviously. Paramou
  • 5 Shockingly Dark Scenes Starring Iconic Kids' Characters

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Erik Germ  Published: October 25th, 2014  People go on and on about how wholesome and innocent the past was, yet they rarely mention the never-ending parades of brutal death porn that were old-timey cartoons. It turns out that destroying innocence was not invented by the Internet after all .
  • The 40 Worst Last-Minute Halloween Costumes on the Internet

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    By Jack O'Brien  Published: October 25th, 2014 
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    Predator Press

  • Falala Banana

    Michael Wolfe
    25 Oct 2014 | 4:57 pm
    LOBO -Predator Press A little research unearthed all I needed to know about my regional manager, Falala Banana.  Miss Banana is feared company-wide, and mostly because she can rip Capri pants with her calves Hulk-style at will.  She is reputed to have killed underperforming employees with her toes. But it turns out we have history. Back in 2006, I met Mohamed "Chainsaw" Miller, a twenty-seven year old a six foot six behemoth, and a rabid football fan. "Why aren't you in the NFL?" I asked. He stared down at me for a second, thinking carefully. "I never ate me no human…
  • Internet Swag

    Michael Wolfe
    17 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Predator Press [LOBO]
  • The Four Corners

    Michael Wolfe
    11 Oct 2014 | 9:43 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] Disposing of my junk mail and shredded bills to prevent identity theft. At great expense to me, I fly Destry Dentin, DDS, from London to Sydney, Australia to destroy most of it.  Those guys can butcher the hell out of our fine American language, and oddly understand each other.  I am confident all relevant information will be promptly lost. But Albert Dente can be a little more complicated. "Yes I threw the crap into Mordor." "Wait," I says into the speakerphone.  "You were supposed to throw that stuff into Mount Doom." "That…
  • Alchemy

    Michael Wolfe
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:36 pm
    -LOBO Predator Press Many immolated themselves. Many jumped from tall buildings. Many immolated themselves, then jumped from tall buildings. -But I am having a hard time keeping up with life events. In the meantime I will be occasionally appearing at the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League. I'll be back.  I promise.
  • Why Does Heaven Need Gates? Is It In a Bad Neighborhood?

    Michael Wolfe
    1 Sep 2014 | 12:48 am
    Predator Press [LOBO] "So you raised four times as much as you need for the divorce?" Al asks, still browsing Tinder on my phone. "How about this one?" O please Al. Shut the fuck up. For five minutes. "How long until the divorce is final?" Albert Dente continued relentlessly. "Who cares?" I reply. "I decided to let the lovebirds take the hit. I paid off my car instead."
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    Funny or Die | Funny Videos, Funny Video Clips, Funny Pictures

  • EXCLUSIVE: An Interview with the Dog Who Stopped the White House Intruder

    Melinda Taub
    23 Oct 2014 | 2:25 pm
    EXCLUSIVE: An Interview with the Dog ... Funny Or Die News has an EXCLUSIVE interview with the dog who stopped the White House intruder. Submitted by: Melinda Taub Regular Keywords: White House President Obama Barack Obama Secret Service Hurricane Jordan dog got him Dominic Adesanya dog white house white house dog dog secret service funny dogs dog interviews white house intruder white house intruder dog Views: 11,740
  • 21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week

    jasonflowers
    23 Oct 2014 | 1:46 pm
    21 Best GIFs of All Time of the Week This week's best GIFs are operating out of sheer boredom. Submitted by: jasonflowers Worthy Keywords: funny pics funny pics gifs funny gifs best of the week best gifs best gifs of the week picdump gifdump 21 best gifs fails falls boredom bored pranks sports baseball soccer peyton manning nfl cats cars game shows lol lol gifs Views: 86,115
  • 8 GIFs from the Brad Pitt 'Between Two Ferns'

    Dan
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:01 am
    8 GIFs from the Brad Pitt 'Between Tw... Relive the magic ... in GIF form. Submitted by: Dan Worthy Keywords: between two ferns zach galifianakis brad pitt zach galifianakis ferns zach galifianakis brad pitt zach galifianakis new episode between two ferns brad pitt brad pitt fury brad pitt zach galifianakis ferns between 2 ferns between 2 ferns brad pitt Views: 61,169
  • Dr Jeckel and Mr Coffins

    jeffdanielphillips
    22 Oct 2014 | 9:58 pm
    Dr Jeckel and Mr Coffins 3:15 A trailer for Uncle Coffins' new innovative psychological horror film! Submitted by: jeffdanielphillips Regular Keywords: Uncle Coffins Jackie Vernon April Showers Miss Renee The Poubelle Twins Marquis Howell DrJeckelandMrCoffins Views: 4,288
  • Grandparents help Porn Star Nikki Benz become the next Mayor of Toronto

    Slow Clap
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:34 pm
    Grandparents help Porn Star Nikki Ben... 5:31 Ethan enlists his Grandparents to help Nikki Benz become the next mayor of Toronto. Subscribe Here: http://bit.ly/1yYNRhN by Josh Shultz (@shultzjosh) & Ethan Cole (@Ethan_Cole22) Twitter: @shultzjosh @Ethan_Cole22 @SlowClapInc Email: slowclapinc@gmail.com Website: http://www.slowclapinc.com Submitted by: Slow Clap Regular Keywords: nikki benz explaining things to my grandfather slow clap in comedy mayor toronto rob ford mayoral campaign funny Views: 65
 
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    vintage everyday

  • 17e Regiment - Death and Glory, ca. 1928

    John VE
    26 Oct 2014 | 12:13 am
    (via)
  • Children Playing at the Berlin Wall, 1963

    John VE
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    Thomas Hoepker is one of the most acclaimed Magnum photographers. He has been working as a photojournalist for 60 years and captured life in East Germany from 1959 to the fall of the Berlin Wall. Below is a collection of interesting black and white photographs of children playing along the Berlin Wall taken by Hoepker in 1963.Child with scooter at the Berlin Wall. This pedestrian way belongs to the Soviet Sector of Berlin.Two boys in leather shorts standing on a viewing platform at the western side of the Berlin Wall.Children playing at the Berlin Wall in Berlin Wedding.A child playing by the…
  • Black and White Photos of Children in Halloween Costumes from the 1970s

    John VE
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:45 am
    In the mid-'70s, New York-based photographer Larry Racioppo went around the streets to capture black and white photographs of youngsters running around in their Halloween costumes. The results are a bit creepy, but ultimately endearing.See more »
  • Little boy bottle feeding piglet, ca. 1920

    John VE
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:40 am
  • Beautiful and Sexy Vintage Woman Cabinet Cards

    John VE
    25 Oct 2014 | 4:55 am
    The cabinet card was a style of photograph which was widely used for photographic portraiture after 1870. It consisted of a thin photograph mounted on a card typically measuring 108 by 165 mm (4¼ by 6½ inches). Here's a collection of 15 beautiful and sexy vintage woman cabinet cards.See more »
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    Jokes - jokes4all.net!

  • How do you get Holy Water?

    25 Oct 2014 | 9:59 pm
    How do you get Holy Water?You boil the hell out of it.
  • Question: Why Dont Chickens Play Basketball?

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:59 pm
    Question: Why Dont Chickens Play Basketball?Answer: There Would Be Too Many Fowls.
  • A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. ...

    25 Oct 2014 | 1:59 pm
    A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims,"Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?"Her suprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups when I do it that way."
  • A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some ...

    25 Oct 2014 | 9:59 am
    A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules."I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."
  • A boy was happy and sad at the same time, i asked why He said he was happy ...

    25 Oct 2014 | 5:59 am
    A boy was happy and sad at the same time, i asked why He said he was happy because he had sex with his teacher He said he was sad because he is home schooled.
 
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    Awesomely Luvvie

  • The Key: Scandal Episode 405 Recap

    Luvvie
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:04 am
    Let’s just get right into this episode of Scandal. Dan Kubiak – Olivia shows Catherine the security tape of the man who was trying to grab a file from Catelyn, her step-daughter who was killed. She identifies him as Dan Kubiak, a security guard at her husband’s firm. He was a former police captain who had a shady past but has a lot of allies in the force still and started his own private security firm. Quinn is looking through a telescope in a building across the street from the office building where the firm is and Liv is there because she ain’t got nothing to do since “My…
  • About Renee Zellweger’s New Face, Our Shock, and Folks Telling Us to STFU

    Luvvie
    22 Oct 2014 | 11:46 am
    A woman got on the red carpet the other day, looking vaguely familiar. Or like the cousin of Robin Wright and Sarah Jessica Parker. Wait. WAYMENT. That’s Renee Zellweger! Shut my mouth wide open! WUT? What happened to her face? I mean, that’s kinda rhetorical because we know it’s plastic surgery but what HAPPENED? How much surgery did she get? Why goes she look so unlike herself? When did this happen? I haz so many questions and I am not the only one who does. The whole interwebs has been marveling at Renee’s new look for the past day, because she looks unrecognizable. Folks have…
  • I’m Headed to DC Today for the ONE AYA Summit!

    Luvvie
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:15 am
    Hey folks! I’m really excited to be going to DC for the next couple of days for the ONE Campaign’s AYA Summit, co-hosted by Google. I’m part of 75 women and girls who are being brought together from the U.S. and elsewhere for a 2-day summit that focuses on issues facing women and girls in developing countries in Africa. We’ll be talking about how we can fight and eliminate extreme poverty, covering topics that include health, child birth, trade, technology, jobs, food, activism and more. Digital influencers and leaders from nonprofits and government with be on hand, as…
  • Pennsylvania’s Tom Corbett Photoshops Auntie Black Lady into Campaign Pic

    Luvvie
    21 Oct 2014 | 2:16 pm
    Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett is seeking re-election and he’s campaigning hard for it. Word on the streets is that he hasn’t done well with getting people of color and other minorities to vote for him so he came up with a grander idea. Good ol’ Uncle Tom photoshopped an older Black woman into his campaign picture. You know, instead of actually going out and meeting one. Because WHY NOT??? That’s exactly the same thing! *sarcasm font* The picture is actually hilarious because it’s Tom surrounded by these smiling people and to be honest, ALL of them look faked…
  • I Want the Red Velvet Oreo to Be Real So Bad!

    Luvvie
    20 Oct 2014 | 8:32 am
    Yall know I love all things red velvet. Red velvet cupcakes, cheesecake, cookies, waffles, pancakes, hot chocolate… I am the  bubba Gumb of red velvet. This is why in the past 48 hours, so many people have sent me this picture. Everyone has sent me this SAME picture and I Googled and wasn’t able to find out anything about OREO officially coming out with a red velvet flavor with cream cheese filling. BUT I WANT IT TO BE REAL SO BAD SO I CAN BUY EVERY BAG!!! Hear my cry, oh Lord! All this pumpkin spice madness… blah. But THIS? This is deliciousness I can stand behind. I need…
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    Brittany, Herself.

  • Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready!

    Brittany
    10 Oct 2014 | 7:54 am
    Tickets for the August 2015 session of Camp Throwback are on sale!(...)Read the rest of Get Your Sleeping Bag Ready! (43 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down.

    Brittany
    8 Oct 2014 | 7:21 am
    What you don’t see in this picture…(...)Read the rest of Hey, I Missed You. Sit Down. (763 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • Goodbye to Yesterday

    Brittany
    29 Sep 2014 | 4:30 am
    This is awkward. I don’t want it to be, but it is. We’ve become the sort of friends that are only friends because we don’t know how not to be. After 13 years it’s not meaningful, it’s habitual.(...)Read the rest of Goodbye to Yesterday (98 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
  • This is 200

    Brittany
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:11 am
    I can’t sleep. That’s a relatively normal thing, really, as anyone who has gotten completely coherent emails from me at 3am can attest. I don’t sleep. I have the next round of edits due on my book in, ohhhhhhh, 13 days. I was recently hired by a morning radio show to come and chat every Thursday, the fall session of Camp Throwback tickets go on sale October 13th, and I almost have the perfect cat eye down with my eyeliner. Obviously, I have a lot on my plate right now. So, I let my brain stay up long after I tuck in the small ones and the big hairy one, and I write on the…
  • Wide Calves. Tall Boots.

    Brittany
    10 Sep 2014 | 8:11 am
    It’s fall. I don’t care what the calendar says, everything tastes like pumpkins and candy is snack size, that’s how you know. And fall time means tall boots time, which happens to be my favorite time of all!(...)Read the rest of Wide Calves. Tall Boots. (624 words) © COPYRIGHT BRITTANY GIBBONS 2014 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh
 
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    Boondock Ramblings

  • Important Things to Consider When You Buy Instagram Followers

    boondocker
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:57 pm
    Right now, communicating and sharing every little thing are not the only things that people can do in various social networking sites. These websites get to be the outlet to know the latest info in the four corners of the globe. This is the reason why many businessmen deemed social media marketing as the best place to market their brands. Among the social media forums that is utilized by businessmen is Instagram. Actually,Instagram is widely known as a photo sharing website, nevertheless, this social media site has now become a highly effective tool for product and services promotion. Being…
  • Spanish Tutor London along with the Things You must Keep in mind Prior To Hiring Their Services

    boondocker
    14 Oct 2014 | 9:59 pm
    Learning a foreign language is complicated specifically if you are deciding to do it without the assistance of a professional. This clarifies precisely why most of the learners opt to obtain the services of a tutor rather to easily simplify the learning method. Obtaining the services of a Spanish tutor London is a great idea if you desire to learn the Spanish language. Looking for Spanish teachers London is not hard. In fact, these come in great numbers, offering you a chance to select. On the other hand, there are various things you should remember when searching for one. Something to…
  • Thailand Vacation Rentals – Look for Budget-Friendly Deals

    boondocker
    1 Oct 2014 | 2:54 am
    Do you want to experience the beauty of Thailand, and see its fantastic places up close? But wait, do you have a place to stay when you get there? If not, this post will offer you terrific suggestions with regards to Thailand vacation rentals. Thailand is a great country that belongs in the Southeast Asia. Actually; it is among those most visited nations throughout Asia. There are thick as well as green jungle, crystal blue waters, and surely tasty foods. As it is enjoyable to travel in this kind of place, it is also important for you to search for a nice place to stay. Tourists can choose…
  • Factors behind Picking the UHP Water Jetting

    boondocker
    25 Sep 2014 | 12:53 am
    Existing huge companies have lots of things to do, which is the main reason why they make use of big machines for their operations. Machines also take care of the required maintenance and repairs. Cleanliness is one thing that they should observe always. This is the reason why UHP water jetting or ultra high pressure water jetting exist. One way to clean the solid materials by applying high water pressure through UHP water jetting. The UHP water jetting or ultra high pressure water jetting uses only water, which is opposite to other cleaning techniques. Meaning, the entire process does not…
  • The Good reasons Why a Company Should Just Choose for the Best Digital Marketing Agency in Manchester

    boondocker
    24 Sep 2014 | 1:36 am
    You have to be aware that there’s a need for you to be fully equipped with the skills in operating your business. This is important since the effectiveness of marketing your own business depends on how you introduce your product and services to your target market (the people – the end user). If you feel worried about this because you believe you don’t have sufficient abilities and knowledge to get this completed, then worry no more since there are marketing companies in Manchester which can do the job for you on your advertising necessities. The only thing that you have to…
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    Nanny Goats in Panties

  • I’ve Got All the Bells and Whistles

    Margaret
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:29 pm
    I think I have adoraphobia. It’s like the little fuzzy kitten version of agoraphobia where I am capable of leaving the house, I just don’t want to. Isn’t that cute? Okay, it’s official. I’ve become one of those people that won’t shut up about their health problems (oh, my aching back!). To wit:   Shortly after my anxiety and panic attack mini-series, I was prescribed this drug, that drug, and the other thing. The other thing was a heart monitor that I have to carry around for 30 days and I’m on the home stretch with only one day to go. It was…
  • Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Tears, Oh My!

    Margaret
    22 Sep 2014 | 1:01 pm
    OK, I still don’t know what happened to me, but a few weeks ago I began feeling weird at the grocery store to the point that I wanted to abandon my cart full of 29 pints of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, run out of the store and go home. I felt like I was going to pass out, but at the same time felt horribly scared about it. And do I run and put all the groceries back so they don’t thaw because I’m such a responsible customer? Or do I just bolt out to the car? Invariably, I squat down and look intently at whatever was on the bottom shelf as if seriously contemplating…
  • White House Dinners and..oh, I Wrote a Book.

    Margaret
    22 Aug 2014 | 11:48 am
    Have you ever gone to a Presidential Gala and arrived late, only to discover that the First Couple is no longer greeting people at the end of the reception line and all the salmon biscuits are gone? OMG – me too!! But that’s not why I brought you here today. No, today I have a bit of news. When I contemplated teaching younger folks how to write better, especially when it comes to blogging, I thought, Who in their right mind would buy what I’m selling? And don’t you have to belong to an elite club or sleep with the right politician, or have an “in” with the…
  • A Humorous Take on Bullying

    Margaret
    11 Jul 2014 | 4:49 pm
    Yes, I am perfectly aware of the fact that my blogging has fallen off lately, thank you SO MUCH for mentioning it. The problem is, I’ve gotten my mitts into many other projects that are eating up my life, not the least of which was co-producing, co-directing, and performing in the Sacramento Listen to Your Mother show. But that was in May, you cry. And I don’t even live in Sacramento, so how the bleepity bleep can I see this “performance” of yours, you continue to whimper? My, what a drama queen you are. And a whiner. But! Cry no more, my little nanny goats, as there…
  • Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

    Margaret
    13 Jun 2014 | 4:56 pm
    So I’m at this thing the other day, you know, one of those events where you walk in the door and they check you in and give you a name tag to clip on your person, along with a wine glass, and you feel awkward at first because you arrived alone so the first thing you do is scrape the room for a familiar face so you can immediately cling to him or her while you get your insecure bearings in order? Yeah, one of those. Anyway, as I’m bouncing from one familiar face to another, tasting wine and bacon-wrapped shrimps on sticks, there are people here who feel important because they were…
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
  • Tweeting in two places may break my brain

    Mark A. Rayner
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:48 pm
    And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →
  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
  • Everyone’s a critic

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:17 am
    Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different. The crowds were going to love the new … Continue reading →
 
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    MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

  • Limerick Switch (Limerick-Off Monday)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:17 pm
    It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.) How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.) I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s…
  • Limerick of the Week (186)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:12 pm
    It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: By a grizzled old pig, I was gored. As I waited for succor, I roared. It was not the damned pain, But emotional strain, ‘Cause I really do hate being bored. And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Tim James, Christopher Finch Reynolds, Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, and…
  • Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)

    madkane
    25 Oct 2014 | 2:27 pm
    Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25) By Madeleine Begun Kane It’s “National Greasy Foods Day.” What a concept! I have to say “Nay!” Such a day sounds so cheesy. The thought makes me queasy. Melted brie? Hmmm, for THAT I might stray.
  • Limerick Ode To “National Nut Day” (October 22)

    madkane
    22 Oct 2014 | 1:10 am
    Limerick Ode To National Nut Day By Madeleine Begun Kane A morsel to chew on: It’s “Nut Day,” As opposed to, say, “Sit On Your Butt Day.” It celebrates food— Not the fruitcakes whose ’tude Seems deranged, but a “Junk For Your Gut Day.”
  • Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day” (October 21)

    madkane
    21 Oct 2014 | 3:41 pm
    Today’s the one day it’s okay to be a blatherskite. Why? Because it’s Babbling Day. Just don’t make a habit of it … like the fellow in my limerick: Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day” By Madeleine Begun Kane A fellow who tended to rap About nonsense was taking a nap. “I’m so glad he’s asleep,” Said his wife, “cuz I weep And I yawn when he babbles that pap.”
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    Dilbert Daily Strip

  • Comic for October 26, 2014

    25 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 25, 2014

    24 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 24, 2014

    23 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 23, 2014

    22 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
  • Comic for October 22, 2014

    21 Oct 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.
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    CAP News

  • Fox To Air Alternate World Series Between Yankees, Dodgers

    24 Oct 2014 | 4:13 am
    NEW YORK (CAP) - Fox Sports has reportedly struck a deal with both the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers to play their own World Series as a more exciting alternative to the Kansas City Royals and San Francisco Giants. The best of five series will air in all markets except San Francisco. "Research shows that even in Kansas City, they would rather watch two other teams than what happened to the Royals in game one," said Fox Sports CEO Peter Rice. "In fact, 76% of those polled said they would rather watch a two hour infomercial with Sally Struthers crying through her mascara." Fox…
  • CDC Report Finds Zombie Eating Habits Unhealthy

    23 Oct 2014 | 4:23 am
    ATLANTA (CAP) - A new study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds that most American zombies do not eat the recommended daily amounts of brains and other proteins. Officials say that if the trend is not checked, it could put a large portion of the zombie population at risk for premature re-death. "What we're finding is a direct correlation between the decrease in the health of the undead and the increase in the obesity of the living," said CDC zombicologist Seth Rowland. "There is simply too much fat in the zombie diet and it's starting to take its toll." The study,…
  • Halloween Extended To Eight Hours For Slow, Obese Kids

    22 Oct 2014 | 4:34 am
    WASHINGTON (CAP) - Halloween revelers can look forward to a longer holiday this year thanks to a decision by the National Institute of Tricking and Treating that extends the timeframe during which children can go door to door for candy from three hours to eight. Trick or treating will now run from 4pm until midnight. In its Annual Prospectus on the State of Halloween Festivities, the NITT reports that healthier, fitter children are able to procure 2.3 times as much Halloween candy as their more obese counterparts thanks to their ability to cover more ground in less time. As fallout from…
  • Overcrowding In Mob Burial Grounds Hits Tipping Point

    21 Oct 2014 | 3:48 am
    CHARLESTOWN, Mass. (CAP) - Ralphie "The Snake" Perugia sinks his shovel into the ground but it barely goes half-way to the hilt before hitting something solid, something that isn't dirt. With sweat pouring off his brow, he moves to another spot and tries again. Same result. Three more tries, three more failures. A visibly distraught Perugia leaves the shovel where it is and lights a cigarette with shaking hands. A few feet away, the body of Tony Tulips lies wrapped in plastic in the trunk of his '97 Cadillac Deville, still warm. With only the sound of the occasional car passing by on the…
  • Aquaman Ousted From Justice League

    20 Oct 2014 | 3:42 am
    CASPIAN SEA (CAP) - In the wake of recent public criticism over his powers and allegations of superhero inadequacy, Aquaman's membership in the Justice League of America has been revoked. According to the JLA press release, the move is effective immediately. "Due to the lack of violent crime that actually takes place under the surface of the ocean, we felt it necessary at this time to release Aquaman of his duties," said JLA spokesman the Green Lantern during a press conference at the Hall of Justice. "Besides, he was really weighing us down," added Green Lantern. According to CAP News…
 
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    Happy Meals & Happy Hour

  • Things I Need To Do Before I Die of Ebola

    HappyHourSue
    16 Oct 2014 | 8:33 am
    So Fox News' Shepard Smith went on a viral (ha) rant yesterday about how everybody should calm the fuck down already about Ebola.Even though I suspect Shepard is rocking guyliner (see Exhibit A)Exhibit A:I really, really, really wanna believe him due to my inherently panicky anxiety-ridden hypochondriac overly-prepared nature.(see Y2K)(see SARS)(see Bird Flu)(see Mad Cow Disease)In the event that we are, in fact, all doomed, here is my Ebola Bucket List. I'm guessing I have about 9 months to a year.EBOLA BUCKET LIST• Find out what a 3D printer does• Hire a professional dance group and…
  • Happy "Dress Like a Slut Day"

    HappyHourSue
    13 Oct 2013 | 11:40 am
    Oh joy.It's that time of year again...Cider! Pumpkins! Candy! Ho's!WELL.  Apparently toddling around on stripper heels as a "sexy" nurse/cop/referee/cheerleader/devil/angel/football player/firefighter/pirate has been DONE. 2003 called: It wants it's "sexy" back.Any slut-for-a-night knows you have to be original to stand out in a sea of bimbos. Think outside the box!   How about: Sexy Micky Mouse?Sexy Girl Scout? That's not inappropriate at all.Sexy Dinosaur!Sexy Pizza Slice!!Sexy Cheeseburger!Really the possibilities are endless.I am proposing the following ideas to some…
  • Kindles Are For Porn

    HappyHourSue
    18 Apr 2013 | 11:26 am
    Ladies! Let's talk smut.OK, so by now we've all read the entire Fifty Shades Trilogy , freaked out our husbands/significant others with our jump-started libidos, dropped out of Book Club, and are looking around for our next fix like "NOW what." (husbands/significant others: "Yeah! NOW what.")Fifty Shades is a gateway drug, my friends. There is a whole universe of competent-to-poorly written erotica out there, waiting to be consumed, like thousands of little dime bags, but with more ripped biceps and heavy breathing. However: Just as the alcoholic needs the paper bag, you can't…
  • Amazon So Doesn't Care About My Writer's Block

    HappyHourSue
    15 Nov 2011 | 7:30 pm
    Holy mother.I TOTALLY forgot my blog was available on Kindle and Amazon was CHARGING .99 cents for it.Apparently, they've been sending out apology emails to subscribers and offering them their money back. And booted me out of the Amazon Kindle family of offerings.Awkward.But guess what. I got a job. (!!!!!!!)  I know. I'm totally an executive right now. No, I'm not...but I wear heels and lipgloss and curse at people while I'm driving. So same thing.Here's what I've learned my first week:Things to Say When You're Getting Coffee to-go in the Morning at the Wawa:"Another day, another…
  • Harry Potter Recap. Sort Of.

    HappyHourSue
    17 Jul 2011 | 12:28 pm
    My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.The main thing you need to know is…
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    PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  • Candy rationing is now in place!

    Kerry
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Previously, our submitter says, bowls of candy sat in an area of the office most commonly populated by waiting customer and potential hires. “Now, instead of candy, most of them get to see this note. It provides them with things to think about as they wait, such as: How many Jolly Ranchers, Starlight Mints, and other candies which are neither chocolate nor caramel may one take from each bowl?” recently: More office candy bowl drama
  • Return to sender

    Kerry
    11 Oct 2014 | 7:08 am
    Writes our submitter: “This note was left in the TEMPORARY mailbox that we put up to collect mail during a substantial construction phase at our house.” In order to appease the anonymous critic, she says, “I have since placed a large neon green bow around the offending structure,” and plans to continue. “I’m going for the ‘North Pole threw up here’ look,” she says. related: #mailboxproblems extra credit: uglymailbox.com: cool & crazy mailboxes 
  • Last time I checked, my mother didn’t work here

    Kerry
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:58 am
    “My husband and I eloped in Maui last week because we thought it’d be more fun that way,” says Sarah in Seattle.At least one of her husband’s coworkers — apparently — took this as a snub. (But, you know, in a “Hahahahaha, JUST KIDDING!” clenched-teeth sort of way.) related: Aaand…the honeymoon’s over.
  • They take their white carpet very seriously.

    Kerry
    29 Sep 2014 | 11:02 am
    Alice in Columbus, Ohio noticed this note taped to the door of a neighboring apartment. “I guess the tenants must have taken over a place that had formerly housed drug dealers and they were fed up with people coming by looking for drugs,” she says. “The note begins amiably enough — ‘Take shoes off at door’ — then takes quite a turn with its devastating conclusion. related: This not a brothel!
  • This used to be a pretty doormat.

    Kerry
    26 Sep 2014 | 8:01 am
    Out submitter in Chicago notes that, remarkably enough, within a day or so of this note being posted (or rather, secured with packing tape to the floor), the oh-so-pretty doormat magically reappeared! (I’d like to imagine that this was the stolen doormat in question.) related: Wrath mat extra credit: How to keep a doormat from being stolen [metafilter.com]
 
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    BroBible

  • Ohio State DL Joey Bosa Manhandles Blocker Into PSU QB Hackenberg For Game-Ending Sack In OT

    Jorge Alonso
    25 Oct 2014 | 9:25 pm
    ABC There’s no doubt that Ohio State defensive lineman is NFL bound and that was confirmed in the last play of the OSU-Penn State game in which Bosa literally manhandled pushed Penn State running back Akeel Lynch into QB Christian Hackenberg for the the game-ending sack in overtime.
  • Ole Miss LB Serderius Bryant Rips Off LSU Player’s Facemask

    Jorge Alonso
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:45 pm
    ESPN Add this to something we’eve never seen before. In the fourth quarter of the LSU-Ole Miss game, Ole Miss’ LB Serderius Bryant ripped off LSU RB Leonard Fournette’ with straight brute force.
  • FSU Couple’s Excellent Jameis Winston And Crab Legs Halloween Costume

    Jorge Alonso
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:22 pm
    Instagram Looks like Seminole fans are having a little fun with Jameis Winston for his infamous crab legs stealing incident earlier this year. In this excellent Halloween costume some bro and his GF are dressed as Jameis and a piece of Publx crablegs.Let’s just say those are the best looking crab legs we’ve seen. Jameis Winston and Crab Legs. #ImShmacked A photo posted by I'm Shmacked (@imshmacked) on Oct 10, 2014 at 10:18am PDT
  • LSU’s Jamal Adams Commits Another Terrible Flop

    Jorge Alonso
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:49 pm
    SEC Network LSU’s Jamal Adams has become a serial flopper. A few week’s ago against Florida Adams had a terrible flop on the sidelines, and this week the same. Ole Miss QB Bo Wallace was retaliating after a late hit with a small shove and Adams dove straight to the ground. He might be worse than Lebron James at this point Flop vs Florida earlier this season
  • Blackface Ray Rice Costume Might Be The Worst Ray Rice Costume Yet

    Jorge Alonso
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:02 pm
    Instagram It was just last week that some idiot got exposed for wearing a Ray Rice costume dragging a Janay Rice blowup doll. But somehow he got one-upped this week by a white couple wearing Ray Rice- Janay Rice costumes covered in blackface makeup. As if wearing the Ray Rice costume wasn’t bad enough. props to BSO for the find
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    Regretful Morning

  • North Korean Military Exercises

    Jason
    24 Oct 2014 | 3:55 pm
    Pew pew... Read More
  • 4 Horror Movie Monsters I’d Like To Date

    Matt Pass
    24 Oct 2014 | 2:35 pm
    It's the weekend, and lots of people are surely getting ready to go out on dates tonight. Me? I'm sitting at home with the TV remote in my left hand... Read More
  • Weekly WTF (15 Pics)

    Jason
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:52 am
    It's time for Weekly WTF. Please send an email if you get offended. Just... Read More
  • Fire Extinguisher vs Woman (0:38)

    Jason
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    It's a learning experience. Sometimes you need two hands for those black hoses. And always point them away from your face. Rookie mistake, spend... Read More
  • 15 Tantalizing Babes In Tank Tops

    Jason
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Damn, that week went kind of fast. Cute women in tank tops are awesome, that's all. Jennifer Lawrence in a Tight Mini Skirt - G... Read More
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    コミックインフィニティ

  • お坊さんとの恋愛

    master
    13 Oct 2014 | 10:05 pm
    初恋の人がいて、学生時代は気持ちを伝える事ができずに別れてしまい、しかも連絡先も交換せずじまいだったのでその後何をしているのかさえも行方知らず。そんな時、同窓会のお便りが届き、もしかしたら再会できるチャンスだと思って期待を胸にお化粧も洋服も髪型もバッチリ決めて会場へ早歩きで向かう。…
 
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    Stuff Christians Like

  • If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it.

    Jon
    23 Oct 2014 | 10:36 am
    If there were ever something that belonged on the Stuff Christians Like blog, it’s this video in which Air New Zealand shows you how the Hobbits would prepare to have a safe flight. Bravo! The post If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it. appeared first on Stuff Christians Like.
  • Group Prayer: The How to’s and The Houdinis

    Jon
    10 Oct 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is another great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) If you’re not already cringing, then you may be what some would call a “sneaky snake.” (words chosen purposefully) We’ve all been there. They’ve just finished up weekly home group, the end draws near, the night is almost over and that can only mean one thing: Time to pray. Out loud. Your leader peers around the circle, and everyone is already saying a small prayer, “Please God, don’t pick me.” One to play the Houdini card? Here are 5 subtle moves to…
  • You broke my burrito! and 2 other moments I stink at giving people grace.

    Jon
    30 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
      Sometimes I like to think I’m good at this grace thing. Mostly this happens after I have listened to the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United. Having been hit with the audio waves of that fantastic chorus 92 times, I take my headphones out and make some strong declarations. “This is it! I’m going to show other people grace! I am going to walk on water and be bold and brave and yay #TeamGrace!” I don’t pronounce the word “Hashtag” out loud because I’m not 13 but in that moment, I do get ready to live with so much grace. Until, I run into these three situations and…
  • Something no counselor tells you about marriage.

    Jon
    23 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    I wish you could take your honeymoon 10 years after you’ve been married instead of 10 minutes after you’ve been married. When you first get married you don’t know how to vacation together. You’re amateurs at this whole “doing life together” thing. On my honeymoon for instance, I decided to spend four hours winning a ping pong tournament. Why? Because I’m an idiot and didn’t know that one of Jenny’s love languages was “Spending quality time together.” I swore that her love language was “My husband winning a ping pong tournament at a Sandals resort.” The vacations we…
  • Bro-ears

    Jon
    19 Sep 2014 | 2:00 am
    (Today is a great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!) I’ve spied shell necklaces under a collar. I’ve seen “Ice” swaying about one’s tank. I even once witnessed pants touching the ground, But there’s a new sheriff in town: In-ear monitors In-ear monitors (aka “ears”) are high-tech earphones typically molded to fit snug inside your ear. You know, something a musician uses while performing. I’m enjoying my job as a snobby barista, making lattes and denying room-for-cream, when suddenly a local worship…
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    Out of the mouth of Dave

  • ISIS and Pornography

    David Crane
    13 Oct 2014 | 8:41 am
    Well I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone who follows the news that ISIS runs a pretty tight ship when it comes "morality". Roaming bands of "authorities" patrol the streets administering lashings and a good old fashioned tongue wagging when they see a female in the street who had the misfortune to expose her elbow.For more info on this go here: Woman in Syria With Undercover Camera Exposes Life Under ISIS in SyriaNow male jihadists have "needs" (nudge nudge wink wink) and for the lucky few jihadists who have liberated themselves a new wife those " needs" can be addressed. For the other men…
  • Cooking With ISIS

    David Crane
    23 Sep 2014 | 3:30 pm
    It seems there is more to ISIS then meets the eye.It's true they aspire to claim religious authority over all of the Muslim world.It's also true that they have established a caliphate or religious state.ISIS has been very effective at spreading their propaganda through social media via some ghastly decapitation videos.Maybe they will get some positive press with their take on the traditional Tomato and Cucumber Salad - MMM Refreshing......
  • How I feel after a Grande Espresso at Starbucks

    David Crane
    28 May 2014 | 3:29 pm
  • A hooker, A bag of chips and $5

    David Crane
    21 Sep 2013 | 5:02 pm
    I was sitting parked in my car in a seedier part of town, the sun was going down and societies undesirables were emerging from their crack dens to prowl the streets. Say what you like about society's undesirables but they certainly have an entrepreneurial streak.  Sitting in my car I was offered some crack,meth, molly and a "date" with a toothless lady (?) called Sharon.I politely declined any and all offers -"No thank you sir I will not partake of your fine crack cocaine ""Sorry Sharon I will respectfully decline your offer of a good time"When I had a moment I sent a text to my wife…
  • There's an Aryan in my kitchen.

    David Crane
    22 Jun 2013 | 2:36 pm
    Paula Deen and her latest admittance to using racial slurs has now  reached a higher level of intrigue.Paula Deen for those of you who are not aware, is not a platinum album selling rap artist. A career where the excessive use of the "N" word is necessary  to achieve any degree of success and street cred with your "homies". No Paula is in fact  an American cook, cooking show host, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality.Paula Deen if you haven't figured it out yet is also white.Racism has become an key part of her success in the kitchen. Our…
 
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    Beauty Tips For MinistersBeauty Tips For Ministers

  • Condolences: Beyonce’s Bangs

    PeaceBang
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:26 pm
    I see some bang extensions in Miss Bey’s immediate future. Ouch! Not good! Do not do this to yourselves, pigeons! Super blunt bangs are very hard to carry off in the first place, and you should only attempt them if the rest of your style can keep up, ’cause they are edgy, fabulous and demanding to maintain. Do not rock them without serious consideration and a great sense of image management or they will look silly and immature. That said, even blunt bangs should not be nearly as short as Beyonce’s are on the right. Unless you’re a monk wearing a tonsure ‘do,…
  • Unusual Color Combos

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:13 am
    While I was grabbing screenshots from an episode of “Where Are They Now?” I had to snatch these of Oprah, because she’s looking so fab in big blocks of vibrant colors you wouldn’t think to put together. Cherry red. Poppy orange stilettos. Purple pants. Pink lipstick, strong blush (you don’t wear colors that dramatic with no make-up or you’ll disappear), bold, geometric spectacles, gorgeous, healthy, curly hair. Click on the images to see them better. Share This Hide Sites
  • How To Do The Crazy Hair Color Thing

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I caught a clip of Raven-Symone on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” that made the rounds, and grabbed these screenshots so you could see how to WERQ the hair color trend that’s been getting more popular. THAT is how it’s done, pigeons. Sticking a few strips of vibrant color in the hair and then leaving it frizzy, damaged, unstyled and sitting on the top of your head to make some kind of statement about your creativity doesn’t make any kind of statement at all except, “I had an accident with the hair dye.” It looks immature, unflattering, and calls…
  • Agua Agua Agua

    PeaceBang
    7 Oct 2014 | 7:25 am
    Honey heads, Now that the heat is coming on, remember to drink more wa-wa, okay? It will help you not catch every cold that gets pressed into your hand during Sunday morning fellowship hour. It will help your “innards,” as my Dede (grandfather) used to say. It will make your skin look better. It will keep your voice from getting croaky and developing the dreaded vocal fry. It may prevent dizziness if you’re on medications that you’ve been taking with minimal water. Get up and drink a whole, big glass. Remember to hydrate throughout the day. Talking dehydrates you…
  • Bad Eulogies and Toasts: One Pastor’s Rant

    PeaceBang
    5 Oct 2014 | 7:12 pm
    Hallo, lovelies. This is for all of you as it is a rant submitted by M., who has a few things to get off her chest. I’ll let her do that, then I’ll respond, then you comment? Got that? Let’s go. Ok. Not sure quite how this fits in with other topics you cover here, but I have a bit of a rant concerning “etiquette” (for lack of a better word) in giving wedding toasts and eulogies. Maybe you have something to say about this? I’ve just come from a funeral where the first of four(!) eulogies was a fifteen minute autobiography of the speaker’s relationship…
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    The Junk Drawer

  • We Have Cats Because They’re Not Dogs. And Yet…

    Kathy
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:16 am
    So I’ve never been a dog person. First, because I was attacked by a German shepherd as a child. That’ll turn you off dogs for good, lemme tell ya. Second, because dogs eat stuff they shouldn’t, break stuff and need to be taken out for walks. I’m a very easily annoyed and lazy person, so there you go. And yet, I appear to have a dog anyway. A new cat named Chloe, renamed Chewy. Why renamed Chewy? Because of this: This is the HDMI cable from our upstairs TV that suddenly wouldn’t work. Took 45 minutes on the phone with a perplexed RCN tech support guy before I realized the cable had…
  • Back to School Crazy

    Kathy
    8 Aug 2014 | 3:46 pm
    I’d like to start off by saying I tip my hat to all you parents out there. I’m constantly amazed at how you pull off the hardest job in the world, all with a myriad other stresses in your life. I don’t know where you get the time or energy for it. Pat yourselves on the back. Go ahead. Do it. Those of you with kids returning to school in the fall are probably running around right now trying to get all your ducks in a row. I’ve heard of schools sending parents a list of things their children will need before school starts, especially grade school-aged children. Very specific lists that…
  • If Grammar is So Hard, What Hope Do We Have for World Peace, Really?

    Kathy
    12 Jul 2014 | 6:06 am
    Amazon just yelled at me in an email to get off my ass and blog more. Apparently, they like it if the people who subscribe to Junk Drawer on Kindle actually get something they pay for. Since I haven’t written in a month, I got flagged for being a slacker. Sorry Kindle people! I promise to do better and stop writing exclusively for The Facebook. Starting with two grammar failures I found on TV graphics within 12 hours of each other. Signs the world is going to hell in a hand basket: unnecessary apostrophes and misspellings. First, this one had me confused because the TV was muted and I…
  • Maybe Poke It With a Stick?

    Kathy
    1 Jun 2014 | 12:29 pm
    I had no intention of walking ten miles today, I really didn’t. In fact, when I went to bed last night, it was with such a creaky body I figured I would spend all of today on the couch. Instead, I woke up feeling like my whole body had been replaced with one that actually works. When that happens, you take every advantage of it, especially since I’ve suffered from some recurring, frustrating knee pain lately. Pain that’s kept me from doing any kind of meaningful exercise. Since I had zero pain today, I set out to do one or two miles. Which turned into four, which turned into six and…
  • When Is a Walk Not a Walk? When It’s a Near-Death Experience

    Kathy
    27 Apr 2014 | 10:36 am
    Note: Long read ahead. The TL;DR version is this – Went for a walk with a friend. Walk turned into a getting-lost hike in unfamiliar wilderness. Thought I would die. Didn’t die. Now for the long version. Yesterday I met up for lunch with my good blogging friend Valerie. We met halfway between where we each live, in Whitehouse, NJ. After lunch she suggested we go for a walk. "Sure! Let’s!" She pulled out her iPhone and asked Siri for nearby parks. We were going to drive to one park, but passed a different place Siri mentioned that was closer and stopped there instead, Round…
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    Hot Ghetto Mess

  • Naked Mess

    melee
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:05 pm
  • Recession Mess

    melee
    23 Oct 2014 | 11:39 am
  • Shorts Mess

    melee
    22 Oct 2014 | 11:48 pm
  • Team Natural Mess

    melee
    22 Oct 2014 | 10:59 pm
    Has the definition of natural changed? Where's my dictionary?
  • Car Mess

    melee
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:05 pm
    Name three things he/she could have done better with the money spent on this #ghettowagon
 
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    Weird News FilesWeird News Files » | The Weirdest News Ever

  • The truth about lizards regenerating their tails

    Editor
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:35 am
    The truth is that the regeneration of the tail is not common in vertebrates, but the lizards do it again and again again, although the new tail’s shorter, with a grayish color and without scales or vertebrae (as you can see in the photo below. The latter ones are replaced by a cartilage type tube, and the spinal cord by an epithelial tissue without nerve endings. Nobody’s perfect This partial “resurrection” happens because it is important for the animal to have the tail in its daily locomotion, for the mating courtship and, what’s more important,…
  • Learn what the Northern Lights are and how they are formed

    Editor
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:26 pm
    Everyone has always been fascinated at the Northern Lights. To see how the sky lights and colored ink is a magical experience. It’s no wonder that the ancient Vikings and the northern towns considered them as a divine manifestation. But nowadays we know they are a phenomenon well understood in its basic principles. Do you also want to know them? Well then let’s go! It’s important to know the Northern Lights are only half of what really happens; Aurora Australis also exist and they take place and are visible from the South Pole. We know more about the Northern…
  • When Loving Turns to Dying

    Author
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:48 am
    Regardless of how many times you’ve watched the National Geographic or the Discovery Channel, Mother Nature still has plenty of secrets up her sleeves. But some facts of life remain to be interesting no matter how many times you’ve heard about it, simply because they’re weird, whichever angle you look at it. Take for example sexual cannibalism. If it happens to anyone else but insects, the world would be in an uproar. But, as it happens, the insects involved in this kind of sexual play accept their lot without any reservation. Black Widows No wonder they’re named as such because they…
  • Hatsune Miku has come to stay | Vocaloids

    Editor
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:21 pm
    Perfection doesn’t exist and Hatsune Miku either. But nevermind. Her success is real, and that’s what matters. She’s the most famous Japanese singer today and her J-pop music is in the highest ranks of popularity. She’s generated millions of dollars in income. 2.3 million people follow her on Facebook. Her image is ubiquitous throughout Japan, Lady Gaga wants her as her supporting artist and her massive concerts fill up enclosures from Singapore to Los Angeles. No matter that she’s just a hologram attached to an artificial voice program. Hatsune Miku’s…
  • Court Trial for Tommy the Chimpanzee’s “Legal Personhood”

    Author
    17 Oct 2014 | 8:49 pm
    A court in New York State is set to decide whether chimpanzees can also be considered “legal persons” in what experts claim to be the first case ever of its kind. This is on the behalf of a 26y/o chimpanzee named Tommy whose human owner has left it to live alone in a dark and dank shed somewhere in New York’s upstate. The case is represented by Lawyer Steven Wise who serves the animal rights group, Nonhuman Rights Project. They have been campaigning for several decades already to extend the protections that come with human rights to similarly intelligent animals. According…
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    Jake Iannarino

  • The Drama Continues… And It’s HILARIOUS!

    Jason Iannarino
    1 Oct 2014 | 11:23 am
    In our last episode I told you about some hate mail that I received while working on “The Flip Side.” The new television show that I am helping write/produce starring hilarious comedian Michael Loftus. If you have not seen it yet, check it out at www.theflipsideshow.com -I think you will enjoy it. Anyhoo, incase you forgot, this was what the email said: “I’m appalled to have learned that a politically conservative show like yours, would employ a contemptible employee, Jake Iannarino. He personally and frequently talks about smoking drugs on his twitter account. He even tweets…
  • FAN MAIL!

    Jason Iannarino
    8 Sep 2014 | 6:30 pm
    As you all may know, I am now a segment producer for a new show called “The Flip Side starring Michael Loftus.” Loftus is an INCREDIBLY talented comedian/actor and a writer for a little show you might have heard of called “Anger Management” starring some guy named Charlie Sheen. I think he has done a few  movies or something. I am having a blast with this show and the crew of writers producers and artists that are involved. It’s a great group of guys and the project is actually taking off! We recently got picked up by Time Warner, Dish Network, and A T and T…
  • Michael Loftus Scores AGAIN with “The Flip Side”

    Jason Iannarino
    27 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    You have probably seen Michael Loftus on TV’s “World’s Dumbest” but there is nothing dumb about him. Loftus is known throughout Hollywood as one of the funniest stand up comedians around and also a very respected and accomplished writer for such shows as “The Lopez Show” and Charlie Sheen‘s popular show on FX, “Anger Management.” Most recently Loftus starred in a comedy special on the History Channel called “American Wiseass.” (Did I mention I was a producer on that show. I carried the project. Ok I was a producer anyway.) You…
  • The NEW ME!

    Jason Iannarino
    17 Apr 2014 | 9:43 am
    I’m back! Welcome to my new home on the web. I am going to be posting some content for you all, and you are going to love it. If you don’t, please feel free to f$ck yourself! Also,  follow me on Twitter and my new YouTube channel: I am a student of Relson Gracie Jiu Jitsu and I host a podcast called “The Jiu Jitsu Lifestyle Podcast” (Go subscribe on iTunes!) You never know where I’m going to be, or what I may be up to. I have had a life of adventures that include: Costarred in major motion pictures. Traveled the WORLD. Headlined comedy clubs all over the United…
 
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    Base Camp Legends

  • Mama bear and cubs encounter

    Sue Sorenson
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    I hunted hard during my Spring Bear hunt and never saw hide nor hair of a single bear. I did see a lot of elk… so it is a given that during our elk hunts we see a lot of bear! Here is a little footage of the mother bear and her two yearling cubs that we encountered as we were hiking out from our elk hunt on September 13th. Sure is a thrill to be so close!   The post Mama bear and cubs encounter appeared first on Base Camp Legends.
  • Weeks Three and Four

    Sue Sorenson
    3 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    The third week of September we mixed things up a bit! Gary went hunting with our son Tom, who was here visiting from Nebraska… and I had “Grandma time” with the tribe! There’s nothing like the mind of three and five year olds!! It makes you really appreciate simple things in life when you look at it through the perspective of those little ones. Their favorite meal was “Smashed potatoes” with venison steaks and gravy!    Shooting at Papa’s 3-D Bear!             Picking Grandma’s apples        …
  • Week Two, September 13th

    Sue Sorenson
    23 Sep 2014 | 9:21 pm
    September always slips by too fast! Here we are in the fourth week and I don’t want it to end! After all the action in our last outing, we just couldn’t stay away from our favorite little canyon. So Saturday morning, September 13th we were at the trail head an hour before daylight. It might sound a little strange, but I’ve grown to love those early morning hikes, when the world is just beginning to stir to the dawning of another sunrise. You can feel, even before you hear, the awakening of life… the furtive, secretive sounds of creatures stirring in the brush, and…
  • Up Close!

    Sue Sorenson
    17 Sep 2014 | 8:53 am
    I posted the story of our hunt on September 6th… but here’s the video of my encounter with the bull that came within 16 yards of me! In the video you can see that I would have had an opportunity to shoot when the bull turned. I was thinking all the while he was facing me of this…but my indecision cost me the opportunity! Another lesson learned. You need to be confident and decisive in making judgments on what the bull is presenting you! What a awesome encounter and now of course I’m  helplessly addicted to elk hunting… especially hunting the rut! The post Up…
  • Opening Day

    Sue Sorenson
    16 Sep 2014 | 11:00 am
    August 29, 2014 found us hiking up the mountain to spend the night on a narrow hogback waiting for the dawning of the 2014 archery season. A dawn Gary came close to never seeing… It started with a very innocent looking shale slide. We have crossed many shale slides. This one really looked no different. We found ourselves committed with no turning back when things took a very nasty turn. I had gone on ahead, very consumed with trying to stay on the mountain, so I never noticed until I was across that Gary was not behind me. By this time I had gone around an outcrop of rock so Gary was…
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    Where the Hell Was I?

  • Greece Is Indeed the Word

    18 Oct 2014 | 9:58 pm
    (Science marches on -- even when it's Secondhand SCIENCE. Stop over and learn all about gene drives. Or scarves. Or astronaut fashion. Or raining men. It gets a little weird. Check it out.) I'm a week into a two-week trip to Greece, about which I'm sure I'll have more to say later. For the moment, though, there are six thousand years' worth of ruins that aren't going to trudge through themselves, and a spanakopita calling to me from a taverna down the street. Of course, it's calling to me in Greek, which I don't understand, so maybe it's saying "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!". That would be…
  • Nobody Here But Us Vacationeers

    10 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
    (Which is the bestest quantum mechanical exclusion principle? That's right! The Pauli exclusion principle. Read all about it, and other scientifical oddities, over at Secondhand SCIENCE. It's a pip.) Working in a small company is kind of weird sometimes. I've always avoided big companies, because it seems too easy to get lost in the shuffle. If you've got nine thousand people doing the same thing, then I figure you either end up redundant or way, way specialized. Neither of those seem good. "I don't want to build some application fourteen other people already built, probably better. And…
  • Do No Farm

    4 Oct 2014 | 12:23 pm
    (Yo, science nerds! For this week's ridiculous sciencyness, head over to Secondhand Science to read all about convergent evolution. It's not just for cartoon squirrels and Mario and Luigi any more!) If there's a disadvantage to being a smartass -- and no one's saying there is; I'm just hypothesizing if -- it's that you can't really turn it off. Even when you're not being a smartass, you're being a smartass. Or people assume you're being a smartass, which has more or less the same effect. Namely, you get punished for being a smartass. And that hurts -- on those rare and unexpected occasions…
  • Literally, the Only Thing I'm Writing About Today

    27 Sep 2014 | 5:50 pm
    (The science buzz over at Secondhand SCIENCE this week is all about nucleation. If you like ice, champagne or beer -- that's separately, not all together at once, weirdo -- then nucleation should be on your radar. And maybe in your glass. Bottoms up, science-lover.) Being overly literal -- like, literally literal -- is annoying as hell. Certain figures of speech or inconsistent usages make your cerebellum twitch, like a lab monkey with a forebrain electrode. Or a lab monkey with mild OCD who takes things too literally. Probably that also works, if you're not into torturing primates for the…
  • Nine-and-a-Half Reasons I'm Not Invited to the Next Party

    20 Sep 2014 | 1:46 pm
    (Heyo! The science we "out droppin', son" this week over at Secondhand SCIENCE is all about those freaky critters who light themselves up like Christmas trees. Wanna know how the fireflies fire? Then check out the words about biolumenescence over there. Plus something new tomorrow. New and sciency -- that'd light anyone up! Have a gander.) People who don't know me well think I'm quiet. I don't say a lot in crowds or around people I don't know well -- and that's generally better for everyone involved, whether they know it or not. We'll get to that. People who know me a little better often tell…
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    List Of The Day

  • Fun With Marquee Signs Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:52 am
    Cleverness from minimum-wagers. My favorite is the Mother's Day sign. Thanks for the link, Kyle T.
  • Interview Of The Day: Between Two Ferns With Zack And Brad

    Cary McNeal
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:38 am
    Tell me about your new movie, Furry. Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Brad Pitt from Zach Galifianakis     
  • News: Drunken Airman Gives Cop Double Wet Willie

    Cary McNeal
    23 Oct 2014 | 7:13 am
    The horror. From Jill Fox. Drunken airman gives Mankato cop double wet Willy MANKATO, Minn. (KMSP) - A drunken Mankato, Minn. man home on leave from the United States Air Force spent three days in jail after allegedly giving a police officer a wet Willy early Saturday morning. According to charges, Mankato police Sgt. Adam Gray was speaking with a Midnight Express Bus driver after bar close
  • Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Let's F**king Frisbee!

    Cary McNeal
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:16 pm
    best of craigslist > chattanooga LET'S FUCKING FRISBEE No frisbee golf, no ultimate. Don't care what race or gender you are. Not trying to jack off or fuck anyone. All I wanna do is toss a goddamned frisbee at you, and you throw it back. I don't care if you're any good. Let's just try this shit. Yes, I am awesome at frisbee throwing and catching (especially for a man of my portly stature), but
  • Bad Children's Books Of The Day

    Cary McNeal
    22 Oct 2014 | 8:08 am
    Finally, some I've never seen before. From Bob Staake. (Lots more here.)
 
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    English Russia

  • Moscow Airport DOMODEDOVO from Above

    tim
    25 Oct 2014 | 2:26 pm
    So if you ever travel to Russia and your ticket has “DME” written on it, it means that you are coming to Domodedovo airport, one of a few Moscow airports. Here are the sights you might be lucky enough to … Read more...
  • Colorful Ice Caves of Kamchatka

    tim
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:36 pm
    Want to see something nice this weekend? Then let’s take a look at ice caves of Kamchatka. From the photographer who brought us the fishing bears, now the ice caves, which are a very delightful sight to look at. So … Read more...
  • Russian People Drinking Vodkas

    tim
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:34 pm
    There is a legend that when Christian missionaries arrived in Russia in the 10th or 9th century AD, the King of Russia had to choose which faith his people would be baptized into. He carefully studied all the aspects of … Read more...
  • How Optical Sights Are Being Made?

    tim
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:27 pm
    Remember a few days ago we saw an abandoned place full of optical sights? Now we have optical sights for guns again but this time its not abandoned and they are not made yet. We will see how those are … Read more...
  • Luxury Bulletproof Vests

    tim
    24 Oct 2014 | 3:24 pm
      Do you know what these are? I mean, do you think this is some sort of stylish suite and some crazy colored vest? Oh yes, you might have read the title: they are bullet proof vests that the Moscow … Read more...
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    Strange Herring

  • A Strange Preview: The Overnighters

    Anthony Sacramone
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:47 am
    So you’ve all heard of this “oil rush” happening in North Dakota, right? If not, there’s this oil rush happening in North Dakota. People from every which place are flooding into the state to take advantage of the one million barrels a day of oil that are being produced—and the jobs that kind of production floats. Only the promise of quick riches is proving to be empty for many who have forsaken everything to head north. Documentarian Jesse Moss got wind of one community, Williston, affected by the influx of “immigrants” to the state in search of…
  • A Strange Review: Left Behind

    Anthony Sacramone
    6 Oct 2014 | 5:29 am
    On Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: So I’m watching Mars Needs Women on one of those goofily named cable channels in the upper four hundreds and a few minutes into this thing I realize the flaw in the premise. You’re all familiar with this film, correct? Seen it a thousand times no doubt. It begins banally enough: there’s a couple playing tennis, a couple out to dinner, then suddenly poof! people start disappearing. And not just any people: women people. What’s going on? Where did they go? Who is responsible? (It’s 1967, mind, so there’s a lot of…
  • “The Giver” and the Gift That Keeps on Taking

    Anthony Sacramone
    18 Aug 2014 | 5:38 am
    So I have a review over at the Intercollegiate Review Online. An excerpt: “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong. Every single time.” So says the Chief Elder, a firm believer in the Reformed doctrine of total depravity, apparently. In The Giver, the film adaptation of Lois Lowry’s 1993 award-winning, giga-billion-selling novel, we are introduced to a Community born out of the Ruins, the result of a cataclysm so devastating that remnant elites constructed an artificial environment in which there is no war, no suffering, no envy, no jealousy, no differences to fight…
  • Declare Social-Media Bankruptcy

    Anthony Sacramone
    23 Mar 2014 | 11:39 am
    Carrie Brownstein did. And all she lost was Fred Armisen. Filed under: Social Media Is Neither
  • The Rapper and the Nun

    Anthony Sacramone
    22 Mar 2014 | 4:06 pm
    So Sister Cristina Scuccia is a 25-year-old Sicilian nun who appeared on the Italian edition of The Voice. J-Ax, apparently, is a rapper of devilish reputation. When asked by the host what the Vatican thought about her appearing on The Voice, Sister Cristina replied, “Listen, I really don’t know. I am waiting for Pope Francesco to call me on the phone . . . He always says we should go out and evangelize, telling [people that] God doesn’t take anything away from us, but will give us more.” Enjoy. Filed under: "Entertainment", General Strangeness
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    AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • 24 Family Portrait Protests

    Charlie Mattingly
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:33 pm
  • Chastity Sweater

    awkward
    24 Oct 2014 | 2:08 pm
    Two subjects you don’t often see in the same sentence. (submitted by Anthony) Two subjects you don’t often see in the same sentence. (submitted by Anthony)
  • Happy Together

    awkward
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:36 am
    “The three youngest in the picture are me (far left, arms crossed tough guy pose) and my brothers. Mike (front and center) is the youngest, he was going through a real Pee Wee Herman phase at the time and Brian(far right, arms crossed, terrifying smile) is the oldest. The guy with the Bon Jovi hair, shoulder pads and tie is my cousin Pat. The 80′s Jersey stereotype is his younger sister Kelly. Judging by our faces, none of us (with the exception of Brian) wanted to be there.” (submitted by Kevin) “The three youngest in the picture are me (far left, arms crossed tough…
  • Hell’s Angel

    awkward
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:01 pm
    She’s got the look. (submitted by Davey) She’s got the look. (submitted by Davey)
  • Frosted

    awkward
    23 Oct 2014 | 2:53 pm
    Who needs makeup? (submitted by Katie) Who needs makeup? (submitted by Katie)
 
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    Fair City News

  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:52 am
  • Dead Bodies Cremated via Fireworks Display

    FairCityNews.com
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    Oohs and uhhs for spectators holding their breath Springfield, MO – Starting this Saturday, Greenfawn Memorial Gardens will showcase its first ever fireworks display by strapping dead bodies to large pyrotechnics in order to cremate dead people with a big bang. These heavy-duty fireworks are manufactured to be attached to dead bodies by PM Pyrotechnics.  The inaugural display will be near Greenfawn Memorial Gardens. “We are anxious to see the first of what we hope to be many of these unique fireworks displays. We’re eager to see if all of the pyrotechnics will explode the bodies…
  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
  • Royals Win; Hell Drops to 60 Degrees

    FairCityNews.com
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Royals fans celebrate with gear from ‘85 Springfield, MO – According to statisticians, the core temperature of hell has dropped significantly but not quite to freezing temperatures as the Kansas City Royals advance to the World Series, an event they haven’t participated in for over 29 years. “In honor of George Brett, I’m going to cover myself in pine tar and run screaming through the streets,” said Norie Greeger of Springfield. Fortunately, fans will be able to break out their clothing from 1985 as it has now come back into fashion. Since that time, CDs were first introduced to…
  • RAIN! Your Questions Answered by the Missouri DOT

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:13 am
    Rainy day driving conditions As fall comes to southwest Missouri, it brings with it a host of difficulties for drivers, chief among these is more frequent rain. We spoke with Gerald Nash of the Missouri Department of Transportation to get answers to some tough questions posed by Springfield area drivers. Q: When it’s raining, how much is the speed limit reduced? My sister thinks you should only drive half the speed limit, but I heard you should just stay at 25 miles per hour. (Zoe S – Springfield) A:  This is a common misconception in the Springfield area. The speed limit does…
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    FMyLife

  • tanisLX says FML

    tanisLX
    25 Oct 2014 | 2:58 pm
    Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield tint was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    25 Oct 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:44 am
    Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
  • not on life, that's for fucking sure says FML

    not on life, that's for fucking sure
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:27 am
    Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
  • Anonymous says FML

    Anonymous
    25 Oct 2014 | 10:32 am
    Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML
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    Lowering the Bar

  • Whom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make Mad

    Kevin
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:24 pm
    There are many great lines Justice Fergus O'Donnell's opinion in R. v. Duncan (2013), which was an otherwise unremarkable case except that the defendant tried to run one of those "sovereign citizen" defenses up the flagpole. That didn't go so well: Thus it was that the trial began with Mr. Duncan objecting to us proceeding on the basis that I had no jurisdiction over him. Mr. Duncan provided me with an “affidavit of truth”, a rather substantial volume that appeared to me to be the result of somebody doing a Google search for terms like “jurisdiction” and the…
  • Guy Sues Legal System Again

    Kevin
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:27 pm
    Just the one in Illinois, at least for now. According to the Madison Record (thanks, Dave), Aaron Wemple has sued the Illinois State Bar Association and all of its members, alleging that ... well, that it and they have done and/or are doing something to him and/or others that requires compensation in an amount not less than $250,030,550,000. I wasn't able to get the complaint (for free), but here's how the Record describes it: According to the complaint, the [ISBA] "was engaged in the business of exclusively authorizing processes for sale to and use by members of the…
  • Coma-Faker Pleads Guilty to Fraud

    Kevin
    22 Oct 2014 | 11:21 am
    Doesn't seem like it should have taken two years to establish this, but it turns out Alan Knight was lying when he claimed to be quadriplegic and/or comatose in order to avoid court appearances and delay his prosecution. He even checked himself into the hospital on occasion for this purpose, and you'd think they would have questioned both of the above conditions. Anyway, in the end his fitness was established pretty conclusively by video of an allegedly comatose person doing stuff like driving around, going shopping, and other things that generally require at least some level of…
  • You're Paying for a Nazi's Retirement [or Are You?]

    Kevin
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:15 pm
    Well, that headline isn't entirely accurate. You paid dozens of Nazis and you're still paying at least four of them. According to the Associated Press, "[d]ozens of suspected Nazi war criminals and SS guards collected millions of dollars in U.S. Social Security benefits after being forced out of the United States," due to a "loophole" that the Justice Department used to pressure them to leave. That is, rather than prosecuting or even deporting them, the government told them that if they left voluntarily, they could keep getting Social Security checks. The AP identified at least 38…
  • Good Reason to Kill #17.1: Lost at Beer Pong

    Kevin
    20 Oct 2014 | 10:37 am
    Oh dear. This new example (thanks, Steve) is funnier than the original #17, mainly because nobody died. Had I foreseen that beer pong would be the cause of another potentially life-threatening dispute, I'd probably have waited, but such are the decisions that life presents. Let history judge. This one broke out in Texas (also funnier) although the shooters are said to be from the Cleveland area (funnier still). Exactly what they were doing at this house party—about a mile south of Ames, Texas, which is about two miles east of Liberty, which is east of Dayton, all of which is somewhere…
 
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    nonamedufus

  • The End of the Innocence

    nonamedufus
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Yesterday, a lone gunman shot a 24 year-old military reservist, part of a two-man honour guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier at Ottawa's War Memorial, ironically in the shadow of the Peace Tower. He died later in hospital despite attempts by civilians and first responders to save his life. Then the gunman crossed the street ran across the lawn of Parliament Hill and entered the Centre Block, down the very corridor where the government and opposition parties were separately caucusing. The head of Parliamentary security, known as the Sergeant-at-Arms encountered the gunman and shot him…
  • He Knew The Truth - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    21 Oct 2014 | 8:44 am
    Gorax peered out over the landscape. It was kind of like watching a Samsung flatscreen because Gorax was a pupil of the little known planet of Retina where all inhabitants sported 13 eyeballs held aloft from their head by two giant horns.Gorax's pal and room mate Scrotum came from another planet known as Testicle. We won't go into what his physical features were. Save to say that Gorax, as Scrotum would often tell others, "he knew the truth".The truth? I hear you say. Yes, Scrotum was very brave. Dare I say, not unlike a golfer, he had a lot of balls.On this morning Gorax and Scrotum were a…
  • Sunday Funnies

    nonamedufus
    19 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
  • Supposed To Be Bad Luck - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt

    nonamedufus
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    Albert was forgetful. While it didn't annoy Angus he nevertheless was always coming up with something to get Albert out of trouble.Like the time Albert forgot the map he was supposed to use as Angus's co-pilot on a cross-country car trip. Using a paper clip, toothpicks and a beany cap propeller, somehow Angus was able to construct a compass to guide them on their western journey and get them safely to the "other" coast.Then there was the time Angus was supposed to go grocery shopping with a list prepared by Albert. But Albert forgot to give the list to Angus. However, when Angus returned from…
  • Sunday Funnies/Happy Thanksgiving

    nonamedufus
    12 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Today we celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. That's right it's not at the same time as American Thanksgiving. We put some space between gobblers and Santa. And at this time of year we still get to play golf.
 
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    Christopher Gabriel

  • The CGP Receives 3rd Straight Best Radio Show Nomination

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Oct 2014 | 12:53 pm
    The Christopher Gabriel Program has aired on 970 WDAY and wday.com since June 8, 2009. The program has had a wealth of remarkable guests from the worlds of sports, entertainment, politics, science and more, coming from right here in Fargo to as far away as Australia, Israel and South Africa. Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winners, Oscar, Grammy, Tony and Emmy winners, professional and college coaches and athletes, New York Times best-selling authors, news bureau chiefs from the U.S. to Europe to Asia… the list goes on and on. Throw into the mix a group of incredibly talented contributors like…
  • POLITICO’s Philip Ewing on Iraq, Iran and Israel (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:54 pm
    Philip Ewing is the senior defense reporter for POLITICO. Previously he was their Pentagon correspondent and the managing editor for news at military.com. An expert on affairs in the Middle East, in particular Iraq and Afghanistan, he joined the program to discuss the escalating sectarian violence in Iraq, what card Iran might play, the effect on Israel and what might be the most prudent move the United States can make. photo credit: POLITICO
  • USA Today’s Christine Brennan on Redskins controversy (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    6 Jul 2014 | 8:33 pm
    USA Today sportswriter Christine Brennan has been an outspoken critic against the NFL’s Washington franchise’s continuing use of the name “Redskins.” She is hardly alone as there are many who would like to see the name go away sooner than later. Similarly, there are seemingly just as many on the other side – including fans, players, team personnel and league officials – who have no problem with the name and believe this is all much ado about nothing. Christine joined me to share both her view and considerable perspective being that she’s been based in…
  • Kate Inglis on her new book, “Flight of the Griffons” (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    1 Jun 2014 | 7:43 pm
    Several years ago I became acquainted with a wonderful photographer from Halifax, Nova Scotia named Kate Inglis. Over time what I came to learn was as brilliant as her photography was, she was an even better writer. Her first book, “The Dread Crew: Pirates of the Backwoods,” was a rollicking romp for kids involving pirates… pirates who “sailed” on land. Her follow-up effort, “Flight of the Griffons,” is even more magical. What makes her work so unique is that ostensibly, it’s for kids. And yet adults will love it, too. She writes, she shoots…
  • Dr. Gordon Marino: Do What You Love… Or Maybe Not (audio)

    Christopher Gabriel
    28 May 2014 | 2:24 pm
    Dr. Gordon Marino is a professor of philosophy at St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN. He’s also authored many articles that have appeared in Atlantic Monthly, New York Times Magazine, Wall Street Journal, American Poetry Review and many other periodicals. Most recently Marino wrote A Life Beyond ‘Do What You Love’ for The New York Times. Considering the amount of play that phrase – that concept – now receives in our society, I wanted to have a chat with Dr. Marino to have him amplify on what he wrote. photo credit: St. Olaf College
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    Ann's Rants

  • Duck, Duck, Inflection-afflicted Goose

    Ann Imig
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:05 am
    “Hilarious. Kind. Mega-babe.” My classmate used none of these words to describe me. In graduate school, I took a class on therapy group dynamics. As part of the experiential curriculum, we formed our own groups. The instructor asked us to go around our circle, and use a sole descriptor for each group member. One of my peers looked straight in my eyes, and said without hesitation, about me,“Intense.” Her assessment took me so far aback, I disappeared into my neck, Beaker, style. Intense. Moi? photo   Meep meep? See, I had earned the reputation in my family as the easy going child.
  • Changing Seasons

    Ann Imig
    22 Sep 2014 | 8:45 am
    I love this change of seasons. By the time I’ve finally input my boys’ extra-curriculars into my iBrain, our Midwestern Indian summer cools down for crisp mornings. My kids settle in to their classrooms, the new routine becomes more familiar, and we can enjoy our walk to school among trees turning Technicolor. Though I adapt fairly well to changing schedules, and welcome the swap from sweaty maxi-dresses to cozy sweater coats, it’s the metaphorical changing of seasons with which I sometimes struggle. In fact, as my kids grow they seem to spin through the seasons of their lives far…
  • Kindergartners at the preschool reunion

    Ann Imig
    16 Sep 2014 | 10:35 am
    Recently my niece (who works as a nanny) made me aware that not only do some preschools hold graduation ceremonies, but some also hold reunions for their graduates. Imagine all the catching up among those 5-year-olds! Okay, I’ll imagine for you…   “OMG! You look exactly the same!!” “No, I look better. I wipe my own nose now!”   “Boy, please, those skinny jeans look AMAZE. What’s your secret?” “No diaper butt, no problem! [wink]“   “Wememboh when we wew babies and couldn’t say ouw lettoh ow?
  • Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s “Rare Bird” is an open palm of faith, fortitude, and hope

    Ann Imig
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:00 am
    Today Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s memoir Rare Bird appears  in bookstores everywhere. Three years ago yesterday, her son Jack went out to play in the rain and never came home.   I wrote, then: “One of ours has lost one of theirs. He was right here—just the other day—and now no more. Children die every day. We know this, and we keep walking our own paths, trying to keep sight of our own children and loved ones, busy with the foraging of our own day. Mothers, fathers, daughters and sons walk all around us, and every day people get separated from the pack—lost, perished. As…
  • Practice humor. Because crying and eating is funny.

    Ann Imig
    4 Sep 2014 | 7:14 pm
    Have you ever tried to cry and eat at the same time? It’s difficult, but possible. Recently I watched a sad internet video, and I cried, while continuing to eat my delicious Oats N’ More directly from the box. Soon I was crying, eating, and also laughing — all while trying to not to choke on my No Brand Oat Bunches. Who stops eating to cry? By chomping away you tell that sadness Okay sadness, you have the exact quotient of sad to give me tears and a lump in my throat, but not enough sad to merit interruption of semi-delectable oat clusters passing through my esophagus. Which…
 
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    Unique Scoop

  • Creepy Stories That Will Make You Sleep With The Lights On (24 pics)

    Scoop
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:11 am
    You're going to hear a lot of scary stories this time of year, but these ones are different. The scariest thing about these stories is that there's actually some truth to them.
  • Homemade Knives (124 Pics)

    Scoop
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:04 am
    Charcoal is the fuel, the heat source and the source of carbon for the smelter. Charcoal has to be chopped to a specific size for the operation to run smoothly. The bore of the furnace is 11 inches so that seems to be the right size for the charcoal: 8-10% of the inner diameter of the furnace.The ore is from a ceramic supply place. The name of this particular compound is Spanish Red. It is a light dust that stains everything almost permanently red and contains 80% hematite.The furnace design is based on the shell of a water heater. It has been cut in three sections for easier assembly and dis…
  • Fun Facts about Indiana Jones (29 Pics)

    Scoop
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:38 am
    Jeff Bridges turned down the role of Indiana JonesDuring filming in Tunisia, nearly everyone in the cast and crew got sick except for Steven Spielberg.  It is thought he avoided illness by only eating food he brought with him.  Cans and cans of Spaghetti O's.In a deleted scene where Sallah is confronted by a Nazi, John Rhys-Davies, who was suffering with cholera at the time, was required to bend down.  Unfortunately this caused the very sick John to soil himself.The lead character's name was originally Indiana Smith, but was changed on the first day of production.Indiana…
  • You Definitely Didn't Get These Jokes When You Were A Kid (25 pics)

    Scoop
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:32 am
  • True Facts About Crime All Over The World (25 pics)

    Scoop
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:11 am
 
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    The Good, Clean Funnies List

  • Concert Program

    info@gcfl.net
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    When my youngest daughter was three, she begged to be allowed to attend a concert with her older sister and brother. She assured me she was a big girl and would behave herself. As we took our seats in the orchestra hall, I handed programs to the kids. Following the lead of her older siblings, my three-year-old opened her program, and in her most grown-up voice said, "Mommy, I'll have the chicken, please..." Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
  • French Police

    info@gcfl.net
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt thereafter. Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French law why he is going to be arrested. The Englishman answers with humor:…
  • Fishing

    info@gcfl.net
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah's ark. On the way home, Willy asked, "Do you think Noah did much fishing?" "How could he?" said Billy. "He only had two worms." Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
  • First Flight

    info@gcfl.net
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    A little boy and his mother were taking his first commercial airplane ride. After boarding the plane, taking off, and being at cruise altitude for some time, the puzzled boy looked at his mother and said, "So when do we get smaller?" Received from Irene A. Mystery.
  • Funeral

    info@gcfl.net
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:00 am
    A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan and open the casket to find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the wall!" Received from Daily Groaner.
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    The Velvet Blog

  • This blog post does not exist

    5 Oct 2014 | 1:24 pm
    So, those two pieces I wrote for issues 17 and 18 of the Cashiers du Cinemart zine have been posted online. My piece on the terrible movie After Last Season is here, and my article on how Michael Powell adapted the novel They're a Weird Mob is here. And you imagined this blog post. Spooky, huh?
  • Or, "cream plectrums" could be an unfortunate medical condition

    14 May 2014 | 3:35 pm
    Some random person followed me on Twitter this afternoon. She has 12,000 followers, but when you look at their names, you can tell they're mostly bots, with names formed in a game of Twitter Mad Libs. But, oddly, most sound like they could be band names for specific niches. Below, a partial list, followed by suggested genre: criticize_lymph: Shoegaze.vacuum_afterglo: New age.ideal_corpuscl: Heavy metal cover band from Eastern Europe.Indian_bamboozl: Fake world music.liver_looter: Bar band.reject_blouse: Riot grrrrl.conclusion_clam: High school garage band.breath_garbolog: EDM.baby_coincident:…
  • Close the door lightly when you go

    3 Apr 2014 | 2:16 pm
    I hereby propose a moratorium on use of "slams" in headlines. Also, synonyms for "slams." But, really, mostly "slams." All of these headlines were posted to Google News within a time frame of a few hours (I swear): Jennette McCurdy slams Nickelodeon, but network says 'Sam & Cat' Season 2 is a goAnthony Bourdain slams Nigella Lawson's U.S. travel banCris Carter slams Eagles with hypocritical tweet in support of DeSean JacksonEx-auditor-general Fraser slams elections bill as attack on democracyFranken slams Supreme Court decision on campaign contribution Nancy Pelosi Slams Supreme Court's…
  • Hello? Is this thing on?

    25 Mar 2014 | 6:23 am
    Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead. You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook. But now that I have your attention: I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here). Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter…
  • Edna and Elbert

    12 Nov 2013 | 7:33 pm
    3-16-16 We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, Grace [unreadable]
 
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    Joe Donatelli

  • Book Review: ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko

    Joe Donatelli
    28 Sep 2014 | 7:57 pm
    A review of ‘Rise of the Warrior Cop’ by Radley Balko, an important book about criminal justice and policing in a free society.
  • Playboy Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    6 Sep 2014 | 4:33 pm
    The 7 Reasons Why You Are Wrong Best Hot Sauces: Ranked Three-Breasted Woman: The Official Timeline LeBron and Balding Denial Here are Those Celeb Nudes You’re Looking for The 15 Worst Fjords in the World
  • Reason Articles

    Joe Donatelli
    1 Jul 2014 | 11:00 am
    Obamacare Apologies to the Whole Foods Crowd
  • Buzzsumo on What Goes Viral

    Joe Donatelli
    20 Jun 2014 | 11:28 am
    Buzzsumo's list of 10 factors that can help a piece of content go viral. Good stuff for all us bloggers to remember.
  • The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray

    Joe Donatelli
    31 May 2014 | 9:43 am
    I highly recommend The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray.
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    Futility Closet

  • Choosing Seats

    Greg Ross
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:55 pm
    Daniel Webster had two chances to become president via the vice presidency. In 1840 the Whig party nominated William Henry Harrison for president and Harrison offered the vice presidency to Webster. Webster turned it down and Harrison died after a single month in office; his death would have made Webster president. Eight years later Webster competed with Zachary Taylor for the Whig party’s nomination. Taylor won and invited him to be his running mate, and Webster again shunned the office, saying, “I do not propose to be buried until I am really dead and in my coffin.” Taylor…
  • Illumination

    Greg Ross
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:15 pm
    Starting in the 1970s, neurobiologist Otto-Joachim Grüsser spent 10 years collating the light sources in 2,124 paintings selected at random from Western art originating between the 14th and 20th centuries. He found that in most paintings considered Western works of art, especially those painted around the time of the Scientific Revolution, the light falls from the left. “At the beginning of modern Western art during the early Gothic period, a preference for diffuse illumination or light sources distributed around the painted scene was found,” Grüsser noted. “In a minority…
  • Unquote

    Greg Ross
    24 Oct 2014 | 3:07 pm
    “Every time an idiot dies, your IQ goes down.” — Bill Ballance
  • Hot and Cold

    Greg Ross
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:07 am
    Suppose you have three identical Dewar flasks labeled A, B, and C. (A Thermos is a Dewar flask.) You also have an empty container labeled D, which has thermally perfect conducting walls and which fits inside a Dewar flask. Pour 1 liter of 80°C water into flask A and 1 liter of 20°C water into flask B. Now, using all four containers, is it possible to use the hot water to heat the cold water so that the final temperature of the cold water is higher than the final temperature of the hot water? How? (You can’t actually mix the hot water with the cold.) Click for solution …
  • More Madan

    Greg Ross
    23 Oct 2014 | 11:12 pm
    Further excerpts from the notebooks of Geoffrey Madan: “Curious how much more room dirty clothes take up than clean ones, when you’re packing — quite out of proportion to the amount of dirt they contain.” — Claud Russell Sworded/sordid: an absurd homonym. “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life which has to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” — F.H. Bradley Hua [French master at Eton] and Warre could neither pronounce the other’s name, but each made the same sound in the attempt. The fascination, to a…
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    Fib News - Various business entities for your business

  • The Easiest Way to Acquire Followers in Instagram

    rock
    22 Oct 2014 | 4:26 am
    It can be a daunting task to manage a business online. You have to think about the demands of people while searching for ways on how you can surpass your competitors. Though establishing an online business is so easy and will not require you to spend much, establishing an excellent online presence so that you can acquire potential customers quickly and make remarkable sales can be the hardest part. You have to make sure that you can get the attention of viewers so that you can make a move to encourage purchase from you. You have to make them feel that your products are definitely a great deal…
  • How to Prepare Your Sprinkler System for the Winter

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:25 am
    Winter is coming once more. This is the season when sprinkler systems get broken and brittle. But these problems can be avoided. You just need to do some precautions in order to avoid damage to your sprinkler system. This article will give some tips on how to winterize your sprinkler system. Winterizing means you need to prepare your sprinkler system for the cold weather. You need to do some precautionary measures if you want your system lasts longer. One of the things that you should do is to heat your sprinkler system. You need to wrap it with insulating materials to protect it from snow.
  • Guidelines in Buying Instagram Likes

    rock
    20 Oct 2014 | 1:22 am
    There is a lot of people who buy instagram likes for the photos and short video clips that they are posting in the mobile application. Probably, you are wondering on why they are buying Instagram likes and would also want to consider it for your account. Due to that, it is important for you to follow a certain guideline that you can make use to be successful in getting the Instagram likes that you need. The first thing that you have to do is to find the right source for the likes that you want. There are so many websites in the internet that offers both Instagram likes followers and it is not…
  • How Instagram Aids Small to Medium Business Enterprises

    rock
    18 Oct 2014 | 6:39 am
    Instagram has been considered to be one of the most crazed social networking sites which use the feature of photo sharing application. For the many business establishments particularly those small to medium business enterprises that are keen into cost cutting measures, instagram likes is their key to enable their business to flourish further. Contrary to popular belief, Instagram is not only used for individuals who are into selfie pictures. In fact, most small business enterprises use the features of Instagram in order to market their products and services in its most unique and creative way…
  • The Bailing Out Process in Jail – How it is Done

    rock
    17 Oct 2014 | 5:32 am
    It is a very frightening experience indeed to be jailed and get into a prison. Because of the traumatizing experience it gives a person, it is better to know ways on how to get out of trouble and be back to the normal experiences one has. To do this, one can either bail out of prison or wait till the sentence is served and done. The latter seems to be time consuming and may even result to a person not being able to work due to imprisonment or the person losing its capacity to work for money to pay the bill. The option to bail seems to be a much more practical option and here is how it is…
 
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    Best Clean Funny Jokes

  • Conservative one line jokes

    traymond
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:24 am
    Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it!  Its now the overseas contingency operation. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?  5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the homeowner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change. Why…
  • How old was that used car?

    traymond
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    How old was that used car that you bought? How old? Why, it’s so old that it doesn’t have dents, it has wrinkles! It’s so old that I had to remove the license plates to get it to go over 10 miles per hour—it couldn’t handle the load! If that car had been a few years older, Moses could have driven it over the Red Sea!
  • What is Murphy’s Law?

    traymond
    18 Oct 2014 | 12:23 am
    Clown 1: What is Murphy’s Law? Clown 2: “Anything that can go wrong, will.” Clown 1: Good. And what is Segal’s law? Clown 2: “A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.” Clown 1: Excellent: And what is Cole’s Law? Clown 2: Thinly sliced cabbage, with mayonnaise and carrots.
  • What do you call cold tea?

    traymond
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:24 am
    Clown 1: “What do you call cold tea?” Clown 2: “Iced tea.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold coffee?” Clown 2: “Iced coffee.” Clown 1: “What do you call cold ink?” Clown 2: “Iced ink?” Clown 1: “Then go have a shower.”
  • What’s a matta with you?

    traymond
    29 Sep 2014 | 8:13 am
    Louie: What’s this? Latka: It’s a kebble. Louie: What’s a kebble? Latka: 110 kebble make a lithnitch. Louie: What’s a lithnich? Latka: 270 lithnich make a matta. Louie: What’s a matta? Latka: I don’t know, what’s a matta with you?
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    Points in Case - Enlightening and Irreverent Comedy

  • Necessary Changes to Ready the NFL for the Coming Socialist Revolution

    Geoffrey Asmus
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:06 pm
    Article by Geoffrey Asmus Dear Roger Goodell,Greetings, comrade! I am Stanislav Petrov, editor of the highly esteemed Bolshevik Brunch pamphlet (attached for your reading pleasure). As our world emerges from the dark age of capitalism into the glistening light of socialism, I often wonder where your National Football League stands? If you continue your barbarous capitalist practices we can offer no mercy.However, we can guide you towards socialism's crimson salvation. For with only a few minor changes you can eradicate the tarnish of capitalism from your nefarious corporation/league/monopoly…
  • 6 Historical Bans That Would Be Ridiculed Today

    T. E. Samad
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:35 pm
    Article by T. E. Samad There are many things about yesteryear that boggle the mind, and remind us that the world we live in today is radically different from the world of the past. Long gone are ridiculously pompous words like "whence," "strengtheneth," and "assuageth." But these grammatical figments of the past aren't the only things that have thankfully departed from the world long ago. Oh no. Why are there always people who want to spoil things for others? Where's old man Freud when we need him.Believe it or not, history has its share of weird bans that simply…
  • Top 5 Sexiest Female Demons/Devils

    Andrei Trostel
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:20 am
    Column by Andrei Trostel Nothing says Happy Halloween like scantily clad, horny women who want nothing else than to act sinfully. Halloween is a special time of year that causes people to behave and act in ways that are seemingly out of character and downright evil. Or are they? Women dress like trashy whores. Men dress like... well, basically anything that will remotely pass as a costume so that they can attend the parties where women are dressed like trashy whores. Let's be honest here, the only reason an adult male (who can buy as much candy as he wants) would dress up in a cheesy costume…
  • First Date

    Nathan DeGraaf
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:26 pm
    Blog by Nathan DeGraaf Jack sat across the restaurant table from his date Judy, watching her play with her phone. "That annoys me," he said.  "What?" she asked not because she wanted to know what annoyed him, but because she had not heard him.  "This is our first date and you're spending the entire time staring into your phone."Judy put down her phone, an iPhone 5 and looked over at Jack, then she sighed demonstratively."Look," she said. "The fact of the matter is that you're not that interesting. As far as I can tell the conversation topics…
  • 8 Ways to Survive the Ebola Crisis

    Luke Strickler
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:26 pm
    Article by Luke Strickler 1. An Apple a DayYou've heard that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well if that's true, then six a day will put him in another continent. Although, it's recommended you keep your doctor on the same landmass. 2. Orange JuiceAn IV of OJ and you'll be OK. You've heard of a juice cleanse? Try a juice binge. I'm talking about doubling down on tripling up on your juice intake. This will keep you nice and hydrated, while giving your skin that healthy orange glow you've always wanted. You don't wanna end up gloved at the stake like these people.3. VitaminsWith vitamins…
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Bad weather

    Mitesh Asher
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan was up early on Sunday morning, dressed up, packed sandwiches for himself, took the dog by the leash, and tip-toed into the garage. He loaded the boat into his Chevrolet pick-up truck, fired it up and drove into the pouring rain. There was heavy snowfall with sharp gusts of wind. Nathan drove back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that there would be a storm. So he quietly went back to the house, changed into his pyjamas and slipped into the. He ran his hand all over his wife's back and whispered, "The weather's really bad!"She replied in a sleepy voice, "Can you…
  • A drunkard's story

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Tom was an alcoholic and had been trying to kick the habit. He had joined AA, and with great difficulty, had managed to keep off hard drinks. While running an errand downtown, he passed by a pub and has the urge to have a few quick drinks. He promised himself that he is gonna have only a few beers and get out fast, 'cos if he got drunk, he was sure his wife would abandon him.So he went in, and could not help but get drunk. To make matters worse, he threw up and spoilt his jacket. He started weeping because he knew the inevitable - Mary would get mad at him and seek a divorce. An old gent…
  • Keep the magic alive!

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    John, Peter and Mike were at the pub enjoying their beer. The topic of discussion was what do they do to keep the magic alive in their marriage.Peter says, "I'll share my secret with you. After a night of great love making, I pluck some jasmine flowers from the garden and place the petals all over my wife's body. The intoxicating aroma drives her wild."Mike says, "I give her a great massage with olive oil after a night of passion. She goes crazy!"John thinks and says, "After the night's adventure, I take a dump in the morning and then wipe my backside with the curtains. She goes nuts!!"
  • A strange request

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dr. Robbins, the dentist made a strange request to his patient, Jack. He said, "Jack, please scream at the top of your lungs!"Jack, surprised by the request, said, "But why Dr. Robbins? There's hardly any pain this time."Dr. Robbins pleaded, "Please! You must understand. The waiting room is full of people. I have promised my wife that I will take her out for the new James Bond movie. Can't miss it or she will be very upset!"
  • In the middle!

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Aron went to this new fast food joint in Infinity mall. Always demanding by habit, he said to the waiter, "Get me steak, not too rare, not too well done, just right in the middle."His next demand was, "Get me nachos. Not too crispy, not too soggy, but right in the middle."Another order followed, "Get me cold coffee, not too thick, not too thin, but right in the middle."The waiter took the order and headed for the kitchen. He came back smiling and said to Aron, "Chef Jolly said you can kiss his backside, not on the right, not on the left, but right in the middle."
 
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    Very Good Short Funny Jokes | Making Life a Little More Humorous

  • Experimenting

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    George said to his hot date, "Do you want to experiment with unnatural love-making? How about me putting it in the other opening?"Sharon said, "What?? I would never let anyone stick it in my back passage unless I an drunk and not in my senses."George said quickly, "Okay. You can find the scotch in the pantry."
  • Cindy and Kathy

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Cindy and Kathy, both residing in an old age home, we taking a walk in the park when they suddenly saw an old guy running, without any clothes on.Cindy said to Kathy, "I don't have my glasses on. Did you see what that guy was wearing?"Kathy replied, "I didn't, but whatever it was, it needs ironing!"
  • In common

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Jason, a little high at the singles bar, grabbed the mile and said, "Well fellows, who will tell me what is that one thing which we share in common?"There was silence.Jason announced, "We are all married."
  • Nevermind

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dr. Williams was sleeping soundly when the sound of the phone ringing roused him from his deep slumber. He picked up the phone and growled, "Who is this?"It was Katie, a young mother, who pleaded on the phone, "We need you to come over urgently. My kid has swallowed a contracptve."Dr Williams mumbled, "Okay, I am on my way."While he was getting dressed, he got another call from Katie. "Doc", she said sounding calm, "Nevermind. My hubby found another one."
  • Arithmetic assignment

    Mitesh Asher
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Mrs. Griffith, the Maths teacher discovered that little Harry had not done his homework. She scolded him, "Where is your Arithmetic assignment?"Little Harry replied, "Miss it had too many problems, so it took its own life!"
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    The Last King Of Shambhala

  • FFF Episode #6 (Web Comic): The One-Eyed Snake Charmer

    Daniel Newton
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:19 pm
    Click here for the previous episode... Happy Freaky Friday! Enjoy episode 6 of the Condroodoo's most funky, most rock'n'roll webcomic ever.  Possibly.  Probably, since I made Condroodoo up for the sake of the comic. Click here for the previous episode... Remember to tune in next Friday for the
  • FFF Episode #5 (Web Comic): The Freaky Freaky Fight Scene

    Daniel Newton
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:21 pm
    Click here for the Previous Episode ... Click here for the Next Episode... Hello Freaky Freaky Friday'er!  Back for another adventure?  Great!  Because this is my favourite episode so far. Enjoy! :-) P.S. If you haven't joined the Freaky Freaky Friday family yet, then it is not too late.  Just go to dgnproduction.com and let me know where to send you each episode ... and as an added bonus,
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #4 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 2

    Daniel Newton
    9 Oct 2014 | 6:17 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: IntroductionEpisode 1Episode 2 Episode 3 Or click here to read the next episode... Below is episode #4 of Freaky Freaky Friday to lighten up your Friday.   Click here to read the next episode... Or if you'd like to revisit a past episode, click one of the episodes below:
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #3 (Web Comic): How to Find a Lost City Step 1

    Daniel Newton
    2 Oct 2014 | 4:32 pm
    If you've missed any episodes, click below: Introduction Episode 1 Episode 2 Or if you'd like to go to the next episode, click here. Hello and happy Friday!   I hope you enjoy this week's episode of Freaky Freaky Friday, the comic that does absolutely everything you're not suppose to do in a comic, and breaks all the stupid rules... and then laughs about it like a madman greeting the moon.
  • Freaky Freaky Fridays Episode #2 (Web Comic): The Chalice of Condroodoo

    Daniel Newton
    25 Sep 2014 | 2:50 pm
    Click here for Episode 1... Click here for the Next Episode (Episode 3)... Good morning! Hope your week has been flying high and you are ready for another 'Freaky Freaky Fridays' adventure! If you are, sit down with a tea or a coffee, or a water, or an imaginary drink, and enjoy... (Just make sure you are not drinking from a cursed mug.) Daniel :-) P.S. Don't miss an episode and subscribe
 
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    Funky Downtown

  • Differences Between Rich Men And Poor Men

    admin
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:41 pm
    If you think you are poor, find out why! It’s because you yourself want to be a poor man… What are in the mind of poor man vs rich man: 1. Poor man:I can’t make it Rich man: How to do to make it 2. Poor man: It’s impossible to win Rich man: I must […]
  • World’s Toughest Job Director Of Operations

    admin
    16 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    Very touch prank video, which is also an ad from a greeting card company. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no break, no holiday, no pay…world’s toughest job ‘Director of Operations’ aka ‘Moms’! American Greetings enlisted the help of Boston-based advertising agency Mullen for its Mother’s Day campaign this […]
  • World’s Most Expensive Easter Egg

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:59 am
    This is the world’s most expensive Easter egg! So if you think you have no idea where and how to spend your money, just consider in buying it; it just costs you few million dollars only…lol. A cross between a Faberge egg and the Damien Hirst skull, the ‘Mirage’ is a unique gem that only […]
  • 8 Pairs of Unusual But Adorable Twins

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:40 am
  • Five-metre Oarfish Found Dead in Mexican Beach

    admin
    15 Apr 2014 | 1:32 am
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    Fair City News

  • SnakeOil

    FairCityNews.com
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:52 am
  • Dead Bodies Cremated via Fireworks Display

    FairCityNews.com
    22 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    Oohs and uhhs for spectators holding their breath Springfield, MO – Starting this Saturday, Greenfawn Memorial Gardens will showcase its first ever fireworks display by strapping dead bodies to large pyrotechnics in order to cremate dead people with a big bang. These heavy-duty fireworks are manufactured to be attached to dead bodies by PM Pyrotechnics.  The inaugural display will be near Greenfawn Memorial Gardens. “We are anxious to see the first of what we hope to be many of these unique fireworks displays. We’re eager to see if all of the pyrotechnics will explode the bodies…
  • Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

    FairCityNews.com
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Display of encouragement self-satisfying Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines. “What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.” Emergency…
  • Royals Win; Hell Drops to 60 Degrees

    FairCityNews.com
    16 Oct 2014 | 5:54 am
    Royals fans celebrate with gear from ‘85 Springfield, MO – According to statisticians, the core temperature of hell has dropped significantly but not quite to freezing temperatures as the Kansas City Royals advance to the World Series, an event they haven’t participated in for over 29 years. “In honor of George Brett, I’m going to cover myself in pine tar and run screaming through the streets,” said Norie Greeger of Springfield. Fortunately, fans will be able to break out their clothing from 1985 as it has now come back into fashion. Since that time, CDs were first introduced to…
  • RAIN! Your Questions Answered by the Missouri DOT

    FairCityNews.com
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:13 am
    Rainy day driving conditions As fall comes to southwest Missouri, it brings with it a host of difficulties for drivers, chief among these is more frequent rain. We spoke with Gerald Nash of the Missouri Department of Transportation to get answers to some tough questions posed by Springfield area drivers. Q: When it’s raining, how much is the speed limit reduced? My sister thinks you should only drive half the speed limit, but I heard you should just stay at 25 miles per hour. (Zoe S – Springfield) A:  This is a common misconception in the Springfield area. The speed limit does…
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    Noise to Signal

  • Recreational misogyny

    Rob Cottingham
    12 Oct 2014 | 1:28 am
    I’m starting to think we’ve reached a tipping point on the issue of misogyny in video games in particular, and a big chunk of tech culture more generally. To get here, it’s taken a lot of courage from a lot of women. One of the most notable is Anita Sarkeesian, whose video series has done more than anything else I can think of to force a conversation on the issue. It’s also drawn a backlash: some of the ugliest, most vicious responses I’ve ever seen. There’s a lot further to go. If you’d like to support her work, you can make a donation here. Updated:…
  • Ello isn’t Facebook. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

    Rob Cottingham
    25 Sep 2014 | 4:07 pm
    A new social network has launc— WAIT! Don’t run away! For quite a while, Alex and I were constantly hearing from people who wanted us to help them build “the Facebook of x“, where x was some industrial vertical, demographic or affinity group. Nearly all of those folks hadn’t taken into account the fact that, with a large and growing share of the population, Facebook was already the Facebook of x. But now there’s Ello, which has no ambitions to be the Facebook of anything. They don’t want to be Facebook at all: Your social network is owned by advertisers.
  • You mess up, we break your thumb… drive.

    Rob Cottingham
    5 Sep 2014 | 1:53 pm
    Corrupt cops and politicians? Bruno and me, we like ‘em. Corrupt removable media? Naw, that ain’t so good. That’s the sort of thing that makes me and Bruno upset. And when we get upset, we like to hack things. Only Bruno, here, he doesn’t hack with a computer, you get what I’m sayin’? He’s more like what you’d call a social engineer, except he beats the crap outta you. We’re lettin’ you off light, you know: muss up your hair a little, wrinkle that shirt up, give ya something to think about. But lemme tell you: if Kingston Technology…
  • We also considered “Momentary Apps in Judgement”

    Rob Cottingham
    2 Sep 2014 | 5:27 pm
    Google has just announced that “Google Apps for Business” are (is?) being renamed “Google Apps for Work“. And as someone who does a lot of work with the nonprofit and government sectors, I’m giving that branding a thumbs-up. That said, it would make me happy to think that there were at least a few days when “Google Apps for Getting Shit Done” was a real contender. Hey, there’s this thing where you tell jokes instead of drawing them. I believe the kids call it the standing-up comedy. And I’m going to be doing it on Wednesday, October 15th…
  • Next up, my Hour-Long-Break-With-A-Caesar-And-A-Good-Book challenge

    Rob Cottingham
    1 Sep 2014 | 1:24 pm
    Beth Kanter gave me a kind nudge on Facebook to draw something about the Ice Bucket Challenge to support ALS research. Here it is! Now, if you’re looking for something beyond graphic smartassery — like, say, real insight into the success of the challenge and what it means for the non-profit sector — check out Beth’s blog posts on the subject: Is A Downer News Cycle A Factor in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Success? Ice Bucket Challenge: Can Other Nonprofits Reproduce It? Has the Ice Bucket Challenge Spawned Charity Jacking? And watch Alexandra Samuel in this panel on the…
 
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    Mommy Wants Vodka

  • National Pregnancy, Infant And Child Loss Day: Tables Missing One

    Your Aunt Becky
    15 Oct 2014 | 6:11 am
    Band Back Together is doing a wall of remembrance as well. Please visit if you can. We’re also calling for submissions from our pregnancy, baby, child  loss mama and daddies this month. Any issues logging in email bandbacktogether@gmail.com. When I first started blogging, I found myself fitting in, not with the other mom bloggers, but with the fringe groups. The infertility bloggers, the baby loss bloggers, the special needs bloggers – those were people I could identify with much more so than the people I was supposed to fit in with. Maybe I hadn’t lost a child, maybe I…
  • What Was Decidedly NOT Brownie Batter

    Your Aunt Becky
    27 Mar 2014 | 9:41 am
    Part I Part II Part III After what felt to be 27 years – but was more likely to have been 27 minutes – I decided that one melting down child (read: me) was enough; it was time to return to our humble room to watch some … whatever people watch in hotels that isn’t porn. When I’d skinned the kids of their wet suits, much to their vocal displeasure, I noted that they were covered tip to tail in a rash. Attributing it to over-chlorination, I felt, for the first time, pleased with the hotel. We all know kids whiz in pools with alarming frequency and by the rashes on their bodies, I…
  • Twi Hard

    Your Aunt Becky
    18 Mar 2014 | 9:06 am
    Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I may have also seen every movie opening night.” Me: …sputters… (eye twitches) Lauren: “Haha.” Me: (googles “how to understand Twilight if you haven’t read it,” then thoughtfully erases it from the search box in case someone wandered by and accidentally saw that I’d googled anything about…
  • Things Unsaid Today

    Your Aunt Becky
    13 Mar 2014 | 10:15 am
    “I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care to count. She needs a second total knee replacement now; she told me that your mom does, too. Sucks watching our parents get older, doesn’t it? Fuck, it sucks getting older – period.” “You’ve been on your own Medical Mystery Tour – forgot to tell you: I finally had that MRI. I guess I got tired of people making the…
  • Street Fighting (wo)Man

    Your Aunt Becky
    10 Mar 2014 | 9:12 am
    Part I Part II Because I am not only stupid, but dumb too, I can’t back down from a fight. I tried once, but it broke my arm. So when I started getting the hairy eyeball for daring to sit on an unoccupied chair adorned with an unused beach towel, my fake-rock bruised ass was absofuckinglutly ready for the Thunderdome. Wearily, I hummed Eye of the Tiger and was all “I know EXACTLY what roadkill feels like” as the entire row of vultures, er, people in the chairs in front of me got up, one by one, and began to form a semi-circle around one man who appeared, from my vantage…
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    Iced Borscht » Iced Borscht

  • Here Comes Lucifer With His Canon Law

    MC
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:04 pm
    Easily one of my favorite songs from the past couple of years. Fuck, it’s good. LYRICS: Higgs Boson Blues, by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds Flame trees line the streets Can’t remember anything at all But I’m driving my car down to Geneva I been sitting in my basement patio Aye it was hot up above Girls walk past, the roses all in bloom Have you ever heard about the Higgs Boson Blues? I’m going down to Geneva, baby Gonna teach it to you Who cares? Who cares what the future brings? Black road long and I drove and drove And came upon a crossroad The night was hot and…
  • The New Cold War

    MC
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:51 pm
    In a fashion showdown, who wins — Rus Clothing or Moods of Norway? Moods of Norway h/t goes to Nick Gillespie
  • My Favorite Paperweight

    MC
    15 Oct 2014 | 3:51 pm
 
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    12 Most

  • 12 Most Obvious Signs You Are Watching Too Much Toddler Television

    Susan Maccarelli
    13 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Susan Maccarelli   Do you announce bath time using the following song “Let’s take a bath. A lovely bubbly bath,” a la the Disney Channel? Then this 12 Most post is for you! You’ll know it’s time to put away the remote and head for nap time if you relate to these signs that […]
  • 12 Most Irritating Things to Say to a Single Person

    Sophie Fox
    7 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Sophie Fox   It’s official: there are more single people than ever before, 124.6 million single Americans in August 2014. This is more than half of the adult population. The figures are similar here in the UK. In spite of this, there are still a few of you happy couples who have yet to […]
  • 12 Most Timely Questions to Ask When You Have a New Job

    Kelly Belmonte
    6 Oct 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Kelly Belmonte   It used to be the case that you had about 90 days to get “up to speed” and begin adding value at a new job. The expectations were relatively low that you would or could be able to competently do your job before that point. Times have changed. The need to […]
  • 12 Most Honest Reasons to Lie When Interviewers Ask Your Current Salary

    Eric Butts
    30 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Eric Butts   What’s the key to a successful salary negotiation? If your answer isn’t “lying,” then you’re doing it wrong. It sounds harsh, but it’s a cold world out there in the business world. One of my mentors made a general comment to me about working for a company you don’t own: “If […]
  • 12 Most Game-Changing Lessons for Entrepreneurs

    Mani Canaday
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    12 Most HE6TKNU4H59Q By Mani Canaday   When I was a brand new entrepreneur, I had the good fortune of receiving a lot of great advice from people with more experience. I also learned a lot through trial and error. In the spirit of sharing and camaraderie, these are the lessons I’ve found to be the most helpful: […]
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    Humor Volcano RSS Feed

  • Nun Has Orgasm During Beaver TSA Pat-Down

    26 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    The TSA's new anti-terrorist screenings now require more invasive hands-on pat-downs. Such extensive physical contact, particularly upon little old ladies, has led to increasing instances of surprise sexual orgasm, especially among nuns. [Satire]
  • New Workplace Scream Room® A Huge Stress-Busting Success

    26 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    Researchers recently proved that loud cursing reduces stress. Taking full advantage, a new soundproof Workplace Scream Room, where angry employees can safely vent in complete privacy, has just been launched. [Satire]
  • Obscene College Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation

    26 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    The entire nation is shocked when, for its director's ultimate act of revenge, a marching band performs a choreographed halftime routine showing a huge penis masturbating onto the face of the rival team's mascot. [Satire]
  • Christine O'Donnell Bloodies Delaware Democrat On Election Eve

    26 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    A Delaware Democratic Party resident was left a bloody, dazed mess after a U.S.Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell-inflicted injury as he reached into his mailbox on this 2010 mid-term election eve. [Satire]
  • Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Embarrassment?

    26 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    Due to the horrid Dallas Cowboys football season thus far, the only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry. They're so wildly successful, in fact, that the Mob is suspected to be intimately involved throughout. [Satire]
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    Comedy Of A CowGHOUL

  • Flattery in a Moment of Panic

    OL Shepp
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am the first to encourage healthier lifestyles, healthier habits at least. Now that I am returning to the health-care profession, I must practice what I preach. Right? My doctor first ordered a mammogram when I was thirty-five, because of the high rate of breast cancer in my family. I did not listen. The women of my family who have had breast cancer all smoked, all drank all used hormone replacements and all had breasts larger than I. I don’t mean to sound ignorant, for I do know that breast size has no correlation to the incidence of…
 
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    Really Funny Jokes

  • Bad weather

    Mitesh Asher
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Nathan was up early on Sunday morning, dressed up, packed sandwiches for himself, took the dog by the leash, and tip-toed into the garage. He loaded the boat into his Chevrolet pick-up truck, fired it up and drove into the pouring rain. There was heavy snowfall with sharp gusts of wind. Nathan drove back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that there would be a storm. So he quietly went back to the house, changed into his pyjamas and slipped into the. He ran his hand all over his wife's back and whispered, "The weather's really bad!"She replied in a sleepy voice, "Can you…
  • A drunkard's story

    Mitesh Asher
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Tom was an alcoholic and had been trying to kick the habit. He had joined AA, and with great difficulty, had managed to keep off hard drinks. While running an errand downtown, he passed by a pub and has the urge to have a few quick drinks. He promised himself that he is gonna have only a few beers and get out fast, 'cos if he got drunk, he was sure his wife would abandon him.So he went in, and could not help but get drunk. To make matters worse, he threw up and spoilt his jacket. He started weeping because he knew the inevitable - Mary would get mad at him and seek a divorce. An old gent…
  • Keep the magic alive!

    Mitesh Asher
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    John, Peter and Mike were at the pub enjoying their beer. The topic of discussion was what do they do to keep the magic alive in their marriage.Peter says, "I'll share my secret with you. After a night of great love making, I pluck some jasmine flowers from the garden and place the petals all over my wife's body. The intoxicating aroma drives her wild."Mike says, "I give her a great massage with olive oil after a night of passion. She goes crazy!"John thinks and says, "After the night's adventure, I take a dump in the morning and then wipe my backside with the curtains. She goes nuts!!"
  • A strange request

    Mitesh Asher
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Dr. Robbins, the dentist made a strange request to his patient, Jack. He said, "Jack, please scream at the top of your lungs!"Jack, surprised by the request, said, "But why Dr. Robbins? There's hardly any pain this time."Dr. Robbins pleaded, "Please! You must understand. The waiting room is full of people. I have promised my wife that I will take her out for the new James Bond movie. Can't miss it or she will be very upset!"
  • In the middle!

    Mitesh Asher
    21 Oct 2014 | 12:01 am
    Aron went to this new fast food joint in Infinity mall. Always demanding by habit, he said to the waiter, "Get me steak, not too rare, not too well done, just right in the middle."His next demand was, "Get me nachos. Not too crispy, not too soggy, but right in the middle."Another order followed, "Get me cold coffee, not too thick, not too thin, but right in the middle."The waiter took the order and headed for the kitchen. He came back smiling and said to Aron, "Chef Jolly said you can kiss his backside, not on the right, not on the left, but right in the middle."
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    Where's Whitney's Soup? - Blog

  • Make Shift Life

    9 Oct 2014 | 11:43 am
    I’m here!  In California.  Los Angeles.  For at least the next 2 years.  Arrived almost 6 weeks ago, but somehow still sleeping on a make-shift bed. Do not despair!  I am very capable of curling up when the time calls.  Reminder:  I moved to here from Massachusetts for graduate school (library and information science). Classes started this week. So did in-class student introductions. My WordPress class professor asked us to list the internet-capable electronics we use. (This question came after, ‘What are your career goals?’)  When my…
  • Agogo and Gatorade

    25 Jun 2014 | 10:13 am
    On Monday, I started my summer stats class.  Why am I taking a stats class?  My grad program that starts this fall is making me. What do I think about stats now that I’m in it?  Well, all the Indian and Asian students sit in the center row of the amphitheater classroom.  And the white students and the 2 black students sit in the outside rows.  I was sandwiched between 2 boys. One was nice and had neat handwriting. The other was neither, and wouldn’t stop using his teeth - all of his teeth - to play with his pen cap.  Like one of these wooden…
  • Stories

    30 Apr 2014 | 2:26 pm
    A little while before right now, I was stuck in traffic.  (The motor vehicle kind.) But the cause wasn’t from a crash or a fender bender!   That’s a duckie inside the green circle. I instantly went from being traffic-depressed to cute-thing-happy. Days / weeks later, I attended The Fanciest Wedding. After that, I flew to Columbus to celebrate Purim. (I’m the lady-who-wasn't-ready-for-the-photographer-to-take-the-picture in the back, not the princess on the left.) Where I was inspired to order myself new sunglasses. (protective case) Because... Guess…
  • Lucky Me

    12 Feb 2014 | 6:09 pm
    My Valentine's Day present came early this year.  In the form of sweatpants. These sweatpants. I go, "Um.  I don't understand...the sweatpants."He goes, "They're pink." Fuck.  Me.* *Statement not addressed to He.
  • I Go Missing From Time To Time

    6 Feb 2014 | 12:25 pm
    From the Internet.My most recent excuse(s): Before making my new pear friend, I travelled cross-state: Where I attended a Jewish Ball: Past 4 months in a nut shell.
 
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    i'm bill dixon

  • *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking...

    3 Oct 2014 | 3:50 pm
    *grabs cupcake of life with both hands, licks off all the frosting, throws cake part of the fucking floor.*
  • Girl Is Born

    29 Sep 2014 | 10:30 am
    Girl is born Society: Hey girl you should be sexy, dress more sexy girl be sexy sexy girl be sexy sexy girl… 10 years later… Society: Hey hey be sexy sexy girl be sexy…. 6 years later… girl gets ambitious and dresses like sexy cat for Halloween Society: HALLOWEEN IS JUST AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GIRL TO DRESS LIKE SLUTS! You a slut girl, stop being such a slut, slutty girl…
  • Girl With The Third Boob

    23 Sep 2014 | 12:00 am
    Guy 1: I read online that a girl got a third breast implanted. Guy 2: You can’t believe everything you read on—” Guy 1: From Florida. Guy 2: Eww, so why’d she do it?
  • nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY...

    22 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    nationalmidnightsociety: THE NATIONAL MIDNIGHT SOCIETY 9/23 This weeks lineup- Surprise guest we can’t legally announce.(Hint: Standup comedy icon, in Movies)-Baron Vaughn-Dave Ross -Hal Lublin -Peggy Sinnott -Patrick Quinn Hosted by Kate Berlant Join us! https://www.facebook.com/events/355504674618961/ Come on out to this show I invented with my mind. It’ll be a lot of fun.
  • The Next Time You Get Frustrated with Life Remember...

    26 Aug 2014 | 5:37 pm
    We’re in outer space right now. We’re floating on a globe that isn’t attached to anything. All of this is really fucking silly.
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    Daniel Drummond Harvey

  • In praise of adhesive tape

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:48 am
    I recently wrote to Astrid Lejeune, Secretary General of Afera, the European Adhesive Tape Association. This is what I wrote: Dear Astrid Lejeune, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for the adhesive tape industry in Europe. Some people prefer other adhesive products. Not me! I prefer adhesive tape. If one runs out of adhesive tape when wrapping gifts, “No More Nails® Heavy Duty Instant Grab Construction Adhesive” is an entirely unsuitable alternative. It can cause significant damage to both the wrapping paper and the gift itself. However, while the damage to the…
  • The Homebase Long Reach Watering Can

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to Paul Loft, Managing Director of Homebase: Dear Paul Loft, Many congratulations on all the hard work you do for Homebase, the leading home enhancement retailer selling over 38,000 products for the home and garden (I didn’t count them myself! I took this information on trust from your website). One could say that I have one home and two gardens – however, this is not as strange as it sounds; I simply have both a front garden and a back garden. I tend to refer to the front garden as “the front garden” and the back garden as, simply,…
  • A problem with “The Jeremy Kyle Show”

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:05 am
    I recently wrote to Jon Millership, producer of the ITV1 daytime television show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”. This is what I wrote to him: Dear Jon Millership, I am a big fan of the show “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, in which guests attempt to resolve personal problems with the aid of the show’s host, Jeremy Kyle. I particularly like the show’s emphasis on traditional family values (as you may know, traditional family values are currently being eroded). Considering how many people he has helped on “The Jeremy Kyle Show”, I am surprised that Jeremy Kyle…
  • A film idea for Jerry Bruckheimer

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    3 Oct 2014 | 9:18 am
    I recently sent the following email to the Hollywood “movie” producer Jerry Bruckheimer: Dear Jerry Bruckheimer, I am a big fan of your films (movies). My favourite film (of your films) is “Top Gun” starring Tom Cruise, which tells the story of a young aviator’s adventures at the Fighter Weapons School in San Diego. I have an excellent idea for a film, which I hope you will be interested in producing. The film is called “The End Of The World Is Nighy”. It tells the story of the English actor Bill Nighy, star of “The Phantom of the Opera: The…
  • The work of Bryan Adams

    Daniel Drummond Harvey
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:07 am
    I recently sent the following email to the 1990s pop singer Bryan Adams: Dear Bryan Adams, I am writing to you because I am a huge fan of your work! Generally, I do not like pop music – it is too loud (unless I turn the volume down!) and I rarely understand the words, but your music is different. Of all of your songs, my favourite is “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, which features on the “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” soundtrack album. It was a shame that “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” lost out on the 1991 Academy Award for Best Original…
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    Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

  • New! Fresh! Exciting!

    Lori Culwell
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:26 pm
    So, two new things for today!   For one, I wrote an article encouraging you to get yourself a website so you don't miss your "big moment" when it arrives.  You can find that right here.  If you read that article, you might notice that I mention a course on websites, so I am going to go ahead and make an announcement about that now as well.  You guys!  MY FIRST COURSE HAS LAUNCHED!    I am super excited about it.  It's called "How to Make a Website," and I can honestly say I put a ton of work into it (like, most of this year), and if you have a website or need a website, I think this…
  • What could this possibly mean? #confusing

    Lori Culwell
    1 Oct 2014 | 10:18 am
    via Instagram
  • "Your friendly neighborhood shipping center..."

    Lori Culwell
    27 Sep 2014 | 3:53 pm
    via Instagram
  • My Summer Standing Desk/ Treadmill Desk Experiment!

    Lori Culwell
    26 Sep 2014 | 11:08 am
    Well well well….here I am again!  I’ve been working on a BIG BIG project all summer (announcement to come soon!), and part of the time at least, I’ve been doing it on a treadmill desk that I finally got around to putting together.   Because several people noticed my dramatically increased step-count on Fitbit.com and Twitter (I use the Fitbit pedometer to track my steps) and asked me what was going on and why I was walking 10 + miles per day now, I thought I would just give you a little breakdown of the desk with a photo.  I really love it, and it was not complicated at all to set…
  • Gum...with no pants.

    Lori Culwell
    25 Sep 2014 | 3:00 am
    via Instagram
 
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    Now That's Nifty

  • How to Win at Arm Wrestling

    25 Oct 2014 | 10:01 am
    I am extremely strong, like Hercules, so naturally I don't need to worry about losing in an arm wrestle. But for the rest of you weaklings, here is a video showing how to win at arm wrestling. ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Bro, What?

    24 Oct 2014 | 12:37 pm
    Bro, I don't even know. I wanna be all "bros before hoes," but I can't defend the sheer douche-iness of this. Why is your hair even coming down that far your forehead anyway? That's not a normal... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • 21 Mark Twain Quotes

    24 Oct 2014 | 9:19 am
    Mark Twain was a beloved American author and humorist. He wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "the Great American Novel". Here... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • Frankenstein Pumpkins, AKA Frankenpumpkins

    24 Oct 2014 | 9:12 am
    Remember those square watermelons? Well those looks like turds compared to these Frankenstein Pumpkins, AKA Frankenpumpkins. Genius! Evil Genius? Tony Dighera of Cinagro Farms in California brings us... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
  • The Bacon Cheeseburger Donut

    24 Oct 2014 | 3:45 am
    Behold the Bacon Cheeseburger D’oh Nut! This is the same kind of innovation and daring that sent America to the moon. It resides among the chefs at PYT, a restaurant in Philadelphia. Their sweet and... ***This is a content summary only. Visit Now That's Nifty for full links, other content, and more.***
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    mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys

  • Fall is…

    Mark A. Rayner
    23 Oct 2014 | 5:48 pm
    Original photo by Rachel.
  • Tweeting in two places may break my brain

    Mark A. Rayner
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:48 pm
    And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →
  • Dominus Vobiscum

    Mark A. Rayner
    20 Oct 2014 | 11:15 am
    After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff. The Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind … Continue reading →
  • Everyone’s a critic

    Mark A. Rayner
    16 Oct 2014 | 11:17 am
    Hank didn’t care that act had won the Most Unconvincing Bear Award six years running. He had been practicing on his flugelhorn, and he was sure that this season would be different. The crowds were going to love the new … Continue reading →
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    MILF: a single Momma's Indiscretions in Life after Forty

  • Wanna Have a Fling?

    21 Oct 2014 | 10:44 am
                               Has it really been over a year and a half since I put my thoughts to the keyboard and made you all laugh? Sorry for the hiatus everyone. But I am back, and I am as ready as ever to prove once again that being a 40something single mom ain’t easy. But! It sure as hell is ridiculously funny.            I was having a conversation (well, let’s be honest, no one actually speaks out loud any more).  I was having an I-bet-my-fingers-…
  • Oh To Be 20 Again....

    20 May 2013 | 11:17 am
    Ok, Laura, here you go….. The comment I chose for this week is “Keep ‘em real or make them look like they are 20 again?”                As I pondered how to answer this very important question, my mind raced in a thousand different directions. As a 40something-ish woman myself, there isn’t much I wouldn’t like to make look 20 again.                First and foremost, THE MEN I DATE. That’s right. I said it. I am single. I would like to go on…
  • Blueberry Coffee, Lost Seconds and Bradley Cooper

    14 May 2013 | 4:12 pm
    Lately, I have made it my morning ritual to drive into work sipping coffee in complete silence. Ok, exactly who do I think I am kidding?  We are talking about downtown Baltimore, ‘hon. The City That Reads for goodness sakes. Well, except when it comes to traffic signs, you know: lane closed ahead, short merge area, yield at next light. Nope, our local commute means a plethora of bad drivers, the constant sound of horns honking, and even the occasional “How much?” uttered not so quietly out the window to a young lady donning a purple bra, black leggings and mile high stilettos on…
  • Deep Thoughts on Seňor Testiculo

    10 May 2013 | 7:28 am
    Ahhh, finally, I have overcome my year-long mid-life crisis/ mental breakdown and have arisen from the darkness (aka, the straight jacket holding me back from writing) to once again provide you with the humor you need to make your life look normal.Thanks to all who may be reading and for hanging in there during my one year lapse in storytelling.  Now that my twisted sense of reality and sarcasm seems to be back in full swing (Lord, help us), I plan on making fun of my single momhood once again. It is my hope to make you smile or laugh out loud or pee yourself, any and all of those will…
  • Pennies from Heaven

    17 Jun 2012 | 6:41 am
                    This morning, as usual, I had to make a pit stop at my local 7-11 for an extra large Hazelnut coffee because I ran out yesterday and had totally forgotten. I rushed my 5 year old to get up, out of the bed and dressed as quickly as possible. This Momma cannot function without her morning intake of caffeine with enough flavored creamer and sugar to cause a tooth ache. My baby girl knows the routine. She stays away from my scowl and listens intently to me until she has seen me take my first soothing gulp.
 
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    Chandra Clarke

  • Dear Facebook, please ban motivational quote pictures

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Oct 2014 | 8:06 am
    Chandra Clarke Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some positive thinking and encouraging words. But if I see one more post that quotes the Dalai Lama, Albert Einstein, or Sophocles, I may barf. You see, before digitization made it uber easy to share inspirational words, we only got occasional doses of motivation by picking up a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • Wake Up And Smell The Tiger

    Chandra Clarke
    27 Sep 2014 | 8:44 am
    Chandra Clarke On those days when you’re fed up with your job, it’s always wise to remember that it probably doesn’t rank as one of the worst in the world. Consider the folks who are currently developing a pest repellent based on… tiger dung. Indeed, rank is probably the key word here. Leave aside for the moment […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • You’ve Been Warned

    Chandra Clarke
    10 Sep 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Chandra Clarke We live in the age of the legal arms race. On one side, lawyers like to launch lawsuits against companies whom they say have failed to provide adequate warnings or instructions for their products. For the most part, this is a valuable service, and the legitimate lawsuits keep companies (or individuals) accountable. Of course there […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • (Not) In The Pink

    Chandra Clarke
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:13 am
    Chandra Clarke In general, I am not an Angelina Jolie fan. I see her face far too often in the tabloids at the grocery store checkout, and usually the news about her has been, well, weird. One Jolie headline, however, raised my estimation of her a notch. Supposedly, she offended her in-laws by refusing to dress a […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
  • What’s the Path to Success?

    Chandra Clarke
    18 Aug 2014 | 2:52 pm
    Chandra Clarke Recently, I was invited to give a speech to a large group of teens from the Junior Achievement program (here are the Canadian and US group links). If you can forgive the humblebrag, it was very well-received, and several people suggested I reproduce it on one of my blogs. So without further adieu, here it […] Chandra Clarke - This material is safe for work. No really, it is.
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    Stuff You Couldn't Make Up

  • Invisibility Cloaks for Sale

    SYCMU
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:08 am
    Invisibility Cloaks for Sale and 50% off too. Don’t miss this exciting opportunity. Meanwhile, check out our tumblr and pinterest profiles as well! The post Invisibility Cloaks for Sale appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Socks Buddy System Cartoon

    SYCMU
    18 Oct 2014 | 9:01 am
    Socks Buddy System Cartoon Ever lost  sock in the washing machine? Well, don’t you wish this cartoon was true? The folks at Spudcomics clearly haven’t lost many socks, because they think this is what happens when socks go on a field trip … Continue reading → The post Socks Buddy System Cartoon appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:10 pm
    When you go to a friend’s house for the first time, as opposed to when you’ve been there before.   The post When You Go To a Friend’s House for the First Time appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue

    SYCMU
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:03 pm
    What’s the difference between piano tuna and pot of glue? -you can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna -what about the glue? -I knew you’d get stuck there. The post Difference Between Piano Tuna and a Pot of Glue appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
  • Five Beautiful Waterfronts You Have to See

    SYCMU
    13 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    The post Five Beautiful Waterfronts You Have to See appeared first on Stuff You Couldn't Make Up.
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    Love and Knuckles

  • The Love of A Dog Named Champ

    Kate
    25 Oct 2014 | 1:14 pm
    My sister’s dog Champ was hit by a car on Wednesday. He’s 15 years old, suffers from hearing loss, and has cataracts in his eyes, but his accident has shaken my sister and her family to the core. It would be easy to say Champ is just a Jack Russell Terrier, but it would negate the enormous role he’s played in her life. Megan decided she wanted a terrier after a trip in college to Ireland. She named him Champ because it was a strong name fit for a fighter. Healer The first time she had to leave him alone as a puppy was a Saturday in July. It was the day after John F. Kennedy…
  • Why Women Wish Celebrities Were Honest About Their Plastic Surgery

    Kate
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:27 pm
    Renee Zellweger became the center of worldwide attention this week after she attended the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards in Beverly Hills on Monday with what appeared to be a facial transformation. When asked about her obvious transmogrification she responded that she looks different because she is healthier and happier than ever. “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.” Hang on. Inner joy can cause that kind of metamorphosis? Then why is it that every time I have…
  • Dear Ladies: You Don’t Have to Wear a Sexy Halloween Costume

    Kate
    22 Oct 2014 | 10:19 pm
    Ladies, How about we switch things up this year? What if you wear an un-sexy Halloween costume? Hang on. Hear me out. I understand your concerns. What if you happened to meet the guy you could potentially see yourself marrying one day at a Halloween party? How are you going to keep him interested if he can’t see your entire body? Would a man be interested in a girl dressed up like a taco instead of a naughty pirate? But Kate, all my friends are going as trampy nurses. Who will want to talk to me if I am dressed in something that doesn’t require a garter belt or leather knee high…
  • Behind The Scenes At A Watch What Happens Live Taping

    Kate
    22 Oct 2014 | 6:51 am
    Last night I went to a Watch What Happens Live taping in New York City. I wanted to take you on the adventure with me. Last night I went to a Watch What Happens Live taping in New York City. I took pictures so you could go on the adventure with me. The studio is located in Soho. The Embassy Row suite is small and cozy. The staff was warm and friendly. Andy’s dog walked about as we stood in the lobby area for the 30 minutes before the show. Surprisingly there are few guests that attend the taping given the size of the room the show is taped. It feels like you are sitting in…
  • How Do You Explain 90 Day Fiance To A Normal Person

    Kate
    20 Oct 2014 | 4:50 pm
    Periodically I choose a new show to try and explain to someone who doesn’t watch a lot of reality television. This is my latest installment of How Do You Explain This Show To A Normal Person? This is how I explained 90 day Fiancé to Kyle who got arm cramps from flat ironing my hair. BACKGROUND Me: Have you seen the commercials for 90 Day Fiance on TLC? Kyle: No, what is that? Me: Are you familiar with the K-1 visa? Kyle: No. Me:  A K-1 visa requires a foreigner to marry their American citizen partner within 90 days of entry. Once the couple marries, the foreign citizen can adjust…
 
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    The Idle Lord

  • I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”

    Steve
    20 Oct 2014 | 6:44 am
    Here is a follow-on to last week’s post about the dire state of grassroots football. Taken from my award winning third book – my mum liked it – this is why my footballing career never rose out of the Sunday morning dog shit. I’M FRANZ BECKENBAUER! “Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble […] Continue reading ... I’m Franz Beckenbauer! – Ch1 “Fifty Not Out”.
  • More Sporting Legacy Bollocks

    Steve
    17 Oct 2014 | 6:57 am
    Way back in 2002 the Labour Government initiated the process of what would ultimately result in the staging of the London Olympics in 2012. Undeterred by the likely costs of this – which they grossly underestimated – the politicians pushed ahead soothing the public with promises – which they grossly overestimated – of a grand […] Continue reading ... More Sporting Legacy Bollocks.
  • Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:16 am
    This week I wandered down to the abyss – Bradford city centre – for the first time in a few years. I packed my United Nations phrase book, stuck the sign on my back saying “crap phone, no need to mug” and set off to Cllr Ear Ring’s Utopia. And would you believe it? Rising […] Continue reading ... Rising Above The Abyss – The Bradford Odeon.
  • Nasdrovia!

    Steve
    6 Oct 2014 | 3:06 am
    We Brits love a good wedding. It’s a chance for otherwise sane and respectable people to act like lunatics for a day and your aunt to convince herself that she really could make the Strictly finals with a bit more disco in her. My cousin Shaun (“Cus”) was getting married again – God loves a […] Continue reading ... Nasdrovia!.
  • Gone Fishing!

    Steve
    3 Oct 2014 | 1:39 am
    I’ve been away this week but did not want to let down those of you who actually look forward to my weekly offering; so I’ve done a Phil & Kirsty and “revisited” an old piece. At my age old pieces are the only things left to revisit. Almost two years ago I wrote The Dating […] Continue reading ... Gone Fishing!.
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    Barb Best

  • Mindfulness, Meditation and Me

    Barb Best
    21 Oct 2014 | 5:00 pm
        MINDFUL AWARENESS can be defined as paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. It is an excellent antidote to the stresses of modern times. It invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one’s inner experience. - Diana Winston, Director for Mindfulness […] The post Mindfulness, Meditation and Me appeared first on Barb Best.
  • How To Skunk Writer’s Block

    Barb Best
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:04 am
      Are you having trouble writing? You are not alone. Whether it’s a thousand page trilogy or merely a text to your cousin you can’t finish, you need support. I suggest you join Writers’ Anonymous – WA. For full-time professionals, it’s WA WA. You will learn the necessary tools and steps to lick writer’s block […] The post How To Skunk Writer’s Block appeared first on Barb Best.
  • 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See

    Barb Best
    7 Oct 2014 | 10:50 am
      Do celebrities annoy you? The narcissists who never cease to amaze us with their sheer lack of restraint? Thanks to an avalanche of 24-7 celebrity “news” we are bombarded with celebrity drama queens’ constant cry for attention. They appear. They promote. They publicize. They SELL, SELL, SELL! 7 CELEBRITY PRODUCTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE […] The post 7 Celebrity Products We’d Like To See appeared first on Barb Best.
  • Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape

    Barb Best
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:37 am
    Are you physically fit & healthy?               Are you in good shape? Do you feel strong? Take the quiz… 7 Clues… You’re NOT So Physically Fit Texting tires you. Your blood type is no longer B+   It’s D- Sleeping enervates you. You use caffeine as a defibrillator. You consider […] The post Physically Fit? 7 Clues You’re NOT in Good Shape appeared first on Barb Best.
  • A Third Breast? 5 GOOD Reasons to Add One!

    Barb Best
    24 Sep 2014 | 9:10 am
    Mamma Mia! Woman undergoes surgery to add third breast. Why? You ask! “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” Jasmine said. Honey, couldn’t you just skip waxing and adopt five cats? Also, it seems Jasmine has the dream of having her own Reality […] The post A Third Breast? 5 GOOD Reasons to Add One! appeared first on Barb Best.
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    Amy Vansant - Humor

  • Note to a Cranky Muse

    Amy Vansant
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:12 pm
    My husband, Mike, is proud of me. He tells me this whenever I achieve a little victory. But I make my living as a web developer and not as a writer, and sometimes he’s confused by the tremendous amount of time and money I throw into my writing “career.” (His air quotes.) It isn’t that he’s condescending, like “Look at the little lady trying to be a writer!” type stuff. He knows comments like those end with his body cold and lifeless in our freezer. It’s more that he’s a glass half-empty sort of person, and can’t imagine that…
  • Dorking out for Little People

    Amy Vansant
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    My husband, Mike, and I recently vacationed in Dewey Beach, Delaware, because we’re cheap and the summer season was over. The big winner was our dog, Gordon, who maniacally chased a half-filled water bottle on the beach until we physically removed him for his own safety. We arrived at our beach cabin in the early afternoon and commenced cocktailing. Two hours later, we were too buzzed to drive and decided to order-in pizza, since the only sustenance I’d brought was either booze, or booze accouterments, like lemons and limes. I can get pretty narrow minded on vacations. Mike…
  • Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Paranormal Book Tour- Win Books & Gifts

    Amy Vansant
    8 Oct 2014 | 6:14 am
    My novel Angeli: The Pirate, the Angel & the Irishman is on a tour sponsored by Book Partners in Crimes Promotions  & eNovelAuthorsatWork this week with three other fantasy writers – I’ve combined all of them into one giant post here that includes a chance to win a copy of each book plus a gift card! Click the banner to see a list of all the tour stops! Meet the eBook Your Escape Authors   Dale Furse Dale has enjoyed many creative pursuits including playing guitar and singing in a band, acting and directing in theatre, writing novels, short stories, plays, songs and…
  • Interview with John Lehr – Watch Season 2 Quickdraw on Hulu

    Amy Vansant
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:56 am
    I stumbled on the hilarious series Quickdraw on Hulu last year and binged watched Season One. When it was over, I emailed Quickdraw star/creator John Lehr and ask him for an interview, to which, with a tip of his hat, he kindly obliged.  I held the interview until Season Two was available, and now it is! So… A. Read my interview with the very funny John Lehr below and then B. Go watch Quickdraw on Hulu! Your hilarious series on Hulu, Quickdraw, is now on its second season. How happy are you? We are thrilled. Our hope is to have a run as long as Gunsmoke which I think was 20 years or…
  • My Mother-in-Law Practical Jokes My Husband

    Amy Vansant
    17 Sep 2014 | 5:39 am
    I recently came back from visiting my Mother-in-Law near Sarasota, Florida, where my husband’s favorite hobby is teasing his mother about Florida-retiree cliches. Golf carts, sweat, swimming aerobics, fried beach hut food, more sweat, having to walk the dog so it isn’t carried away by gators or panthers (or gators and panthers who have worked out some sort of hunting partnership)… you name it. Water Aerobics. The horror, the horror. But my Mother-in-Law had her revenge. We were on our way to the pool at her community. I was poking through her endless array of visors,…
 
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    The Good Badger

  • Q&A: How Do I Get Over Writer’s Block?

    the Good Badger
    13 Oct 2014 | 3:24 pm
    We’re introducing a new series to the Good Badger called: “Q&A”, which is short for question and answer.  After a thorough investigation (conducted by me), the conclusion has been reached that I am the unquestioned coiner of this phrase.  You know this claim is valid because you’re reading it on the Internet.   If you have a question you’d like answered, send it here. Today’s question comes from Zach D in Denver, CO who writes the following: Hi the Good Badger, I know you’re probably busy saving baby animals from being abducted by evil…
  • 3 Reasons Why I Love Backpacking (And You Should Too)

    the Good Badger
    29 Jul 2014 | 9:03 am
    Warning: the following post uses the f-word (fuck, not filibuster) 15 times.  If you’re looking for some wholesome reading, you’re fuck out of luck.  Make that 16. Most people in this country don’t backpack, and quite frankly, that’s a good thing.  Backpacking is rewarding in large part because of this fact- it’s where you go to get away from the masses.  Add to this some beautiful scenery and a dash of exercise, and you’ve listed all the reasons why someone might enjoy this combination sport / hobby / lifestyle.  Right? Wrong. The reasons to love…
  • Redefining Pain

    the Good Badger
    30 Jun 2014 | 11:34 am
    A hundred billion neurons.  Ten trillion cells.  One hundred trillion bacteria.  All of this influenced by an immeasurable number of environmental and biological factors. Human beings are complex creatures, aren’t they? If you look through a microscope, perhaps.  If you take a step back, however, human behavior can be summarized in one sentence. We move toward pleasure and away from pain.  In most situations, pain plays a greater role in our motivation.  Burning your hand on a hot coal, walking across broken glass, or getting punched in the face with a baseball bat are all painful…
  • How to Vacation to Europe on the Cheap

    the Good Badger
    26 Jun 2014 | 2:59 pm
    A Western-European vacation is bacon for the soul. Few places on earth provide such a magical combination of history, beauty (in landscapes, architecture, people, and accents), FOOD, and culture without sacrificing any of the first-world luxuries that Americans tend to get itchy without.  The lone downside also happens to be a devastating one: the tornado-like effect it has on bank accounts.  The cost of airfare and lodging alone is the equivalent of 2,000 pounds of avocado, a shark boat, or this ocean garbage super important key.  Think of the possibilities. Many, reasonably albeit…
  • Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now

    the Good Badger
    13 Mar 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Why You Need to Be Eating Bone Broth Right Now Primer: if you’d prefer a much more intellectual take on why bone broth needs to be in you, check out this Weston A Price article.  This article is a perfect representation of why I (instantly) bowed out from the health blogging game: it’s a crowded space, I don’t do original research, and quite frankly, I consume far too much whiskey to preach an ideal diet (old fashions are my life fuel). That said, 18 months of obsessive research has equipped me with knowledge that has undoubtedly improved the quality of my life.  I’d…
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    lolriot.com

  • Are dogs really Man’s best friend? Cats beg to differ. (28 Photos)

    max4u
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:16 am
    The post Are dogs really Man’s best friend? Cats beg to differ. (28 Photos) appeared first on .
  • Wants vs Needs (24 Photos)

    max4u
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:02 am
    The post Wants vs Needs (24 Photos) appeared first on .
  • Awesomely Scary Pumpkin Carvings For Halloween (15 Photos)

    max4u
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:56 am
    Via: ThisOldHouse Via: Jon Neill Via: Twitter Via: Jon Neill Via: Blogspot Via: Jon Neill Via: Holidash Via: Jon Neill Via: ThisOldHouse Via: Jon Neill Via: PsBuzz Via: PumpkinVarieties Via: Villafanestudios Via: Mashable Via: DjardinThe post Awesomely Scary Pumpkin Carvings For Halloween (15 Photos) appeared first on .
  • 25 Embarrassing & Lame Moments Captured On Camera

    max4u
    23 Oct 2014 | 7:52 am
    Via: DailyPicksAndFlicks Via: TheChive Via: TheChive Via: Imgur Via: ShockMansion Via: TheChive Via: 2k2bt Via: WebOfEntertainment Via: MiamiHerald Via: Tumblr Via: Twitter Via: SpokeMagazine Via: NBC News Via: TheChive Via: WeirdRussia Via: Imgur Via: Redbull Via: Xaxor Via: MemeCenter Via: WineCellarCobWebs Via: TheChive Via: RedditThe post 25 Embarrassing & Lame Moments Captured On Camera appeared first on .
  • Kids Always Seem To Act Like Drunk Little Grown Ups (25 Photos)

    max4u
    23 Oct 2014 | 7:46 am
    Kids act like little drunk adults all the time. Whether it’s a sugar buzz from too much apple juice, a lack of nap time, or confusion about the world, kids will always resemble wasted adults. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Drunk adults act like little kids. Here are some examples. You might recognize these situation as ones you or your friends have been in. The only difference is that these kids don’t need to be drunk to act like this. Via: Photobucket Via: DumpADaY Via: PixGood Via: TheBerry Via: Aluman3 Via: Twitter Via: SlightlyWarped Via: Reddit Via: EatLiver The…
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    Rubbish In, Robish Out!

  • Hawaii Officials Warn of Possible Lava Evacuation

    Johnny Robish
    25 Oct 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Hawaii Officials Warn of Possible Lava Evacuation:  Authorities on the Big Island of Hawaii have told several dozen residents near an active lava flow to prepare for a possible evacuation as molten rock about 160 to 230 feet wide and moving northeast at about 10 yards per hour edges closer to homes.  To provide residents with an example of just how fast this lava is moving, officials say 10 yards an hour is significantly faster than the Oakland Raiders have moved all season.   Man Arrested for Toppling Ten Commandments Monument in Oklahoma:  A man who claimed the devil told him to use…
  • China Completes First Mission to Moon and Back

    Johnny Robish
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:14 pm
    China Completes First Mission to Moon and Back:  China has launched its first space mission to the moon and back, the latest step forward for Beijing’s ambitious program to one day land a Chinese citizen on the Earth’s only natural satellite.  Guess we don’t have to ask what kind of food they’ll be bringing along.  Meanwhile, back in the USA, televangelists like Pat Roberson are asking “why does it seem to be easier to get a man on the moon than on Rosie O’Donnell?”   Another White House Fence Jumper:  Yet another man made it over the White House fence before…
  • New Duckbill Dinosaur Uncovered

    Johnny Robish
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:09 pm
    New Duckbill Dinosaur Uncovered:  Scientists have uncovered a powerful dinosaur in Mongolia they’re calling Deinocheirus, that was 16 feet tall, 36 feet long, weighed seven tons, had a duckbill on its head and a hump-like sail on its back that some researchers say can only be described as “goofy-looking and weird.”  I understand that this may not be some paleontologist’s favorite dinosaur, but why resort to name calling?   Snake in Cockpit Terrorizes Pilot During Landing:  A terrified Australian pilot was forced to make a harrowing landing reminiscent of a Hollywood thriller…
  • UK Man Faked Coma for Two Years to Avoid Court

    Johnny Robish
    22 Oct 2014 | 9:24 pm
    UK Man Faked Coma for Two Years to Avoid Court:  British police were able to catch a fraudster who pretended to be quadriplegic and sometimes comatose for  over two years to avoid prosecution by his supermarket loyalty card usage that allowed them to film him driving and strolling around supermarkets.  I feel sorry for his poor wife after being repeatedly told “not tonight dear, I’m comatose.”  Police say the guy was so good, even possums were envious.  And claiming to be quadriplegic?  Why legally, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.   Mexico Steps Up Wind Power:  A…
  • Researchers Say Any Physical Activity Can Lower Alzheimer’s Risk

    Johnny Robish
    21 Oct 2014 | 8:49 pm
    Researchers Say Any Physical Activity Can Lower Alzheimer’s Risk:  While its well documented that exercise can lower the risk of Alzheimer’s in seniors, a group of researchers are claiming that any kind of physical activity, such as washing dishes, cooking, cleaning and gardening also significantly reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s.  And in a selfless effort to eradicate this dreaded disease, researches are inviting seniors in the area to drop by their homes to cook, clean and wash dishes for them.   Mountain-Sized Comet Whizzes Past Mars:  A comet the size of a small…
 
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    The Laugh Button

  • This week in comedy: Leslie got called to the big leagues and we honored a legend

    The Laugh Button Staff
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:54 pm
    - This week we spent a lot of time out of the office running around the city for a variety of fun times, including a Comedy Central Corporate Retreat on Tuesday. Then Wednesday we spent the day celebrating the memory of George Carlin. – Second biggest piece of news, we’re hiring! – A lot of […] This week in comedy: Leslie got called to the big leagues and we honored a legend appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • George Carlin finally got his way: Dispatches from a day of tributes to a comedy icon

    Matt
    24 Oct 2014 | 1:23 pm
    On Wednesday, after years of hard work, George Carlin finally got his way. On the 400 block of 121st street, Morningside Heights, in New York City in front of a crowd of about a 200 people, the sign reading “George Carlin Way” was unveiled. It took three years of work by comedian Kevin Bartini, who […] George Carlin finally got his way: Dispatches from a day of tributes to a comedy icon appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • DirecTV orders ‘Downton Abbey’ parody series ‘The Britishes’

    Olivia Cathcart
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:10 am
    DirecTV snags an original TV series with The Britishes. According to Deadline, the show is a Downton Abbey parody starring Peter Serafinowitz and Will Sasso. Made of a collection of sketches, the series follows a similar absurdist sensibility as the iconic Monty Python’s Flying Circus. “The Britishes revolves around the absurd, class-obsessed, extremely British residents […] DirecTV orders ‘Downton Abbey’ parody series ‘The Britishes’ appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • TBS orders ‘Lost’-esque deserted island comedy ‘Wrecked’

    Olivia Cathcart
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:53 am
    TBS is more than just Friends reruns (although there’s nothing wrong with those). According to Deadline, the network recently has ordered a new comedy to join its original series library (Ground Floor, Cougar Town) with a pilot order for Wrecked. The deserted island comedy has been described as Lost meets It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. […] TBS orders ‘Lost’-esque deserted island comedy ‘Wrecked’ appeared first on The Laugh Button.
  • Sam Grittner is recording his first album November 21st in NYC

    Olivia Cathcart
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:39 am
    New York comedian Sam Grittner is recording his debut album this fall. Grittner will be recording his album, Poor Decisions, Expensive Mistakes, at NY’s  Treehouse Theater (formerly This Theater) on November 21st. Joining him will be comedians Emmy Blotnick, Luke Thayer, Todd Mole, and Abbi Crutchfield, who will open the show. Grittner first announced the […] Sam Grittner is recording his first album November 21st in NYC appeared first on The Laugh Button.
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    Chasing Carrots - Blog

  • Chewie Goes Surfing Shirt

    PBScott
    29 Sep 2014 | 8:27 pm
    On Sept 4, 1958, Pierre La Francais, the world’s most famous beverologist, was investigating reports of animal activities at the base of the Mackenzie river delta near Tuktoyaktuk. On this full moon night, moments after a shooting star, a large brown figure began to make it’s way down the beach towards Pierre. Pierre put his […]
  • Heart Of A Gamer

    PBScott
    3 Aug 2014 | 2:16 am
    I have one thing special, that sets me apart, something is different, when it comes to my heart. For if I feel passion, or am gripped By fear, rather than heart beats, it’s vibrations I hear. My life is a mission, to save all the earth, as dangers are plenty, I prove my great worth. […]
  • Pac-Man Pill Muncher Shirt

    PBScott
    20 Jul 2014 | 9:09 pm
    Pac-Man? Yeah I knew him, but I haven’t seen him in years now. Do you know why we called him Pac-Man? He used to eat so many pills, packs of them each day, and one day we took the pills away, so Pac got really angry and started chasing us around the house shouting. “Give […]
  • Pop Evil – Torn To Pieces – Video and Lyrics

    PBScott
    26 Jun 2014 | 11:04 am
    I know you probably all think that I live under a rock or something, but I had never heard of Pop Evil until today when I heard “Torn To Pieces”. I like its mellow beat, catchy tune, and it’s dark mood seems to suit me this morning. I looked it up on YouTube earlier and […]
  • Welcome To The Machine

    PBScott
    19 May 2014 | 8:48 am
    A few days ago I had a very strange experience, maybe not an overly unexpected one, but it was very strange just the same. I had gone to the local shopping mall with my girlfriend to look for a new backpack and get something to eat. After a short while I found one particular bag […]
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    The Peanut Butter Table

  • This is How Our Daughter Learned Math in First Grade Under Common Core

    Eva
    15 Oct 2014 | 11:36 am
    The following are examples of how our daughter learned 1st grade mathematical concepts: 3, 5, 8 2, 2, 4 5, 7, 12 9, 3, 12 6, 3, 9 4, 5, 9 8, 4, 12 2, 1, 3 6, 4, 10 5, 6, 11 And so on… The students in the Bug’s 1st grade class were […]
  • Our NWEA/MAP Opt-Out Letter

    Eva
    3 Oct 2014 | 6:44 pm
    The NWEA/MAP: “Measures of Academic Progress® (MAP®) creates a personalized assessment experience by adapting to each student’s learning level. You’ll have assessment data—and essential information about what each student knows and is ready to learn within 24 hours.” Uh-huh… This is our letter we sent to our 2nd grader’s principal to opt her out of […]
  • And So It Begins…

    Eva
    25 Sep 2014 | 8:34 pm
    Oh, great… what’s she on about now? Plenty, actually, thanks for asking. Hello, everybody!  Time to come clean. I wasn’t dirty before or anything but, you know. Some time ago, I made the decision to create a blog.  I had a blog before but that blog sucked so I created a new blog full of […]
  • Happy Birthday Little Dinosaur

    Eva
    27 Aug 2014 | 10:15 am
    Originally posted on Stories that Must Not Die:We are patiently waiting for you to come out of your cave. While we wait we’ve decided to celebrate your birthday with some Stories about you that will live on forever. One day, a dinosaur appeared in my fishbowl. She was wildly drawn and breathing fire, but…
  • The Bill and Melinda Gates Birth Control Interview

    Eva
    9 Aug 2014 | 8:21 am
    Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:In the early spring of 2014, I had the privilege of meeting the most charitable, creative and technologically brilliant couple on the planet: Bill and Melinda Gates. I knew what I was ready for; a dynamic pair of thinkers that were tinkering with something incredibly big and extraordinary…
 
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    Witty Woman Writing

  • If My Dog Could Talk …

    Tammy
    1 Oct 2014 | 8:02 am
    I’d be mortified. Or in jail. She would gladly share my dress size, the fact that I have chin hairs, that I’m an easy drunk (one glass of wine and I’m ready for a nap), how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news, that I eat in bed, my opinion on […]
  • Can a sassy woman blogger shame the NFL even if she doesn’t know a thing about football?

    Tammy
    10 Sep 2014 | 8:51 am
    Just watch me. Hey NFL, if I were your mother, I would take you out of the game. No time outs, no suspensions. I would throw your disrespectful ass out on the dirty street where it belongs. Your behavior is reprehensible, disgusting, and shows absolutely no regard for your players or their families. It is […]
  • I Want To Be A Gross, Stereotypical Objectification. Don’t You?

    Tammy
    27 Aug 2014 | 9:40 am
    It’s not often I profess to know more than Newsweek or the Chicago Tribune. But I sure as hell do today. A lot is being said about Sofia Vergara’s rotating pedestal act at the Emmys. Most of it bad. Very bad. Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune are just a small slice of the pie. Social […]
  • Heaven Didn’t Wait

    Tammy
    12 Aug 2014 | 10:29 pm
    I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself. I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then […]
  • Should We Grow Old Gracefully?

    Tammy
    15 Jul 2014 | 10:12 pm
    I was recently asked to lecture on the art of growing old gracefully. Boy were they barking up the wrong tree. I accepted the challenge. I figured it was an opportunity to enlighten my audience and get paid for it. Nice work if you can get it. I shared with them the bittersweet truth: there […]
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    Zero People Found This Helpful

  • Come In / Go Away Doormat

    Daniel Repasky
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:26 am
    I actually like this doormat, if it wasn’t so expensive. It’s called an ambigram if you’re wondering. Most Helpful Customer Reviews 78 of 78 people found the following review helpful By Garred A. Oldham on March 10, 2010 Verified Purchase i turned it backwards when my family was coming over. but no one did what i said. damn thing is defective Comment Come In / Go Away Doormat is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass

    Daniel Repasky
    23 Sep 2014 | 5:51 pm
    This is would be a pretty funny glass to drink straight liquor out of. Link LOL – OMG – WTF Wine Glass is a post from: Zero People Found This Helpful
  • ZPFTH Presents: Gif Sound Mashup Thirteen!

    Daniel Repasky
    10 Sep 2014 | 5:42 am
    Gif Sound Mashup 13, with turtles, babies, cats, a bear, dinosaurs, and a martian rover! It took some extra time to render the beginning circles lol http://ZeroPeopleFoundThisHelpful.com & http://GifSound.com bring you Gif Sound Mashup 13! ►GifSounds used: COMING SOON Make your own! – http://GifSound.com no account required This video is covered under Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107 – Fair Use: All visuals and sound are no more than a few seconds in length, parody the original works, are highly transformative, and are not in any way a substitute for the original. All…
  • Lego Death Star, comes complete with exhaust port weakness

    Daniel Repasky
    14 Aug 2014 | 3:07 pm
    Looks pretty cool, but I’m not sure what kind of person buys a $500 LEGO set… for their kids… 20 of 21 people found the following review helpful  Missing cover for the exhaust port, 10 Aug 2014 By Golidog Theres a cover missing on the exhaust pipe. It’s probably not important but maybe this could be fixed for the next model. Thanks. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink 43 of 52 people found the following review helpful  Flimsy design, March 20, 2014 By Brian Atwood “bratwood” I’m not…
  • A Yodelling Pickle

    Daniel Repasky
    3 Aug 2014 | 6:10 pm
    So well crafted. I’m sure the reviews will reinforce how what a wonderful pickle this is. 1,633 of 1,653 people found the following review helpful  Better Than Bieber, January 15, 2012 By Sadie My twelve year-old niece asked for the Justin Bieber CD for Christmas, so I bought her this yodeling pickle. Nobody so far can tell the difference. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you?   Permalink   1,603 of 1,651 people found the following review helpful  It’s a great portable music solution, April 2, 2010 By Timboliah…
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    Epiphanies that will Alter the Course of Human Events

  • How God Can Make a Ton of Cash

    Greg Mischio
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-all. But even He would be the first to tell you, you can just never have enough cash. With my latest Epiphany, I’ve got a foolproof way the creator can increase profits and put even more dough in his omniscient pocket. It’s funny, but even after I wrote that first paragraph, people were already lining up on my front lawn to protest my blasphemy. Look, I’m sorry. I mean no offense toward you and whatever God you may worship. But He would be pissed if I didn’t share with him my money-making scheme for supreme beings. It’s based on of the…
  • Test-Taker, the Hot New Occupation

    Greg Mischio
    6 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    Much ado has been made about testing in our public schools. I applaud testing myopia, which is why I capitalized on the trend. Introducing an entire company built around the world’s newest occupation: Test-taker. You can argue about the merits and demerits of testing, but that’s not how I roll. I don’t take sides. I just figure out what people want, and then charge a lot of money for it. In this case, the majority want to create the world’s best test-takers. They insist we beat every other country’s test scores, even though the minority (or minorities) might argue we should focus on…
  • Have Your Friends Raise Your Kids

    Greg Mischio
    29 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    My kids are nice to me and the missus — most of the time. But they’re never as charming and pleasant to us as they are to our friends. This phenomenon was in desperate need of epiphanizing, and I was just the guy to do it. Have you ever noticed that the manner in which your child addresses you pales in comparison to the Eddie Haskell veneer they assume with other adults? Teens suddenly turn on the charm in the presence of other village elders. So where’s the love on the homestead? I don’t have an answer, and honestly, I really don’t care. As a loyal reader, you know by now that…
  • Passive-Aggressive Plants Must Be Stopped!

    Greg Mischio
    22 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    It’s time to call the plant world on the carpet. These passive-aggressive rooted things are messing with my head, not to mention my lawn. The reverse-psychology of my amazing new epiphany put them in their place. Exquisite lawn care is required in my neck of the woods. As a diligent denizen of the burbs, I am compelled by neighborhood covenants to maintain Pebble Beach standards. This requires mowing, fertilizing, aerating, and on occasion, a rain dance. Most importantly, it demands a war on weeds. Weeds. Nature’s nostril hairs. Those bastards will grow anywhere and everywhere. Unless you…
  • Become a Bazillionaire by Teaching Your Cat to Talk

    Greg Mischio
    15 Sep 2014 | 6:00 am
    I have no qualms with people obsessed with becoming bazillionaires. It’s just that they work so hard to make the cash. Why spend all your time and effort creating a new technology or becoming a highly-skilled doctor, when all you have to do is teach your cat to talk? People who make the big bucks make me chuckle. They work tirelessly, train endlessly and usually die prematurely. In the end, they have a pile of money that their heirs get to waste on drugs and the Home Shopping Network. It really doesn’t have to be that hard. There are all types of opportunities sitting out there, right in…
 
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    cestlavie22

  • Cajun Turkey Sandwich!

    cestlavie22
    20 Oct 2014 | 5:35 am
    I will admit to my fellow bloggers that I am not much of a sandwich person. Problem is I get bored very, very fast with all type of food. A long time ago I had a boyfriend who worked at Subway. In order for me to be able to eat any of the subs he made for me he came up with a plan. Instead of making me a sub out of turkey or roast beef or whatever he made me a sub that changed as I ate it. The first quarter might have been roast beef with lettuce and mayo, then the next section could have been turkey with mustard, and the next section could have been salami with something and so on. This was…
  • iBullshit!

    cestlavie22
    17 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I will be the first to admit that I grew up in the technology age. My dad was a computer programmer so I was blessed to have all the latest technology as it came out. One of my oldest memories is being only a few years old, sitting on my dad’s lap playing with Paint on the computer. I was a tech kid. And I am proud of it. As I grew up my obsession extended to phones and even iPod. I wanted the latest and greatest tech device to keep up with the times. But the thing was, technology was advancing with me. Cell phones really didn’t become huge until I was a teenager. The iPod really…
  • My version of Choctoberfest!

    cestlavie22
    13 Oct 2014 | 5:34 am
    Sometimes when I begin planning a date night I decide to throw all my previous ideas out the window and go with something that someone else has already perfected and make it my own. Coming off of a failed date night I wanted to be sure this date night was a win. And it was…in some ways. This date night is eloquently titled “Choctoberfest” by the Dating Divas. I get lots of ideas and inspiration from them so it should come as no surprise that this date came from them with a little of my own twist to it. I love the idea of Oktoberfest but I knew that a date in the house was…
  • Women can love sports the same way as men!

    cestlavie22
    10 Oct 2014 | 1:00 am
    I don’t know how much I have talked about this on my blog, but I am a Female sports fan. My favorite sport to watch is baseball but I also follow Football pretty closely and I am learning to love Hockey ( since the boyfriend is into it). I have been into sports since probably middle school or early high school. I was the girl with all guy friends so it kind of came with the territory. I would stay up nights on the phone with one of my guy friends watching a game, complaining about the players and complaining about the penalties. I learned to love the sports. I learned everything about…
  • The Knotted Trunk!

    cestlavie22
    6 Oct 2014 | 5:43 am
    As I have mentioned before, I feel every blogger should help small shops get their name out there and noticed. A close friend of mine runs an awesome Etsy shop and I really wanted to introduce you guys to it! The Etsy shop called The Knotted Trunk makes awesome household items out of reclaimed wood. My apartment is basically a mash-up of things that were handed down to me, things I found at savers, things I found at yard sales and then random new items I bought out of need. Nothing really matches or goes with a theme. But the one thing that really resonates with everything in my home (and my…
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    Plans for Nigel

  • Onomatopoetry: Cat Version

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    10 Oct 2014 | 9:29 pm
    Here's some more of this stuff, yo. Enjoy.
  • Charizard Uses Bite... It's Super Effective

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    8 Sep 2014 | 10:12 pm
  • Friends of Nigel 5: Mousecop and Charizard

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    29 Jun 2014 | 5:34 pm
    Alrighty, so, I went to draw some pictures for my blog and realized my tablet has not been charged, and I don't feel like waiting until it's charged. Therefore, today's blog post features ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS!And also this picture I drew a while ago:Let's start with the story of how MC and Cha-zizzle came to join our little family...Part 1: The DealOnce upon a time, there was a myself named Jackie. She didn't have any kitties because she lived in a teeny apartment and the evil apartment overlords charged $ARM.99 in non-refundable pet deposits and $LEG.00 (before tax) for monthly pet rent. To…
  • Our Anniversary Happened

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    26 May 2014 | 4:51 pm
    I was going to make some big deal about how it was our first anniversary this weekend, but I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say about it... We spent the night at a cute, slightly haunted B&B, ate some expensive food, and then we came home. Plus, we both came down with a yucky cold, so I don't have a ton if energy for thinking. Therefore, I drew you this pictures depicting how we are spending our Memorial Day!There is a post about our kittens coming up, though, so stay tuned for that.
  • A Comprehensive Guide to Jackie's Hair

    Jackie Loveland Winsor
    20 May 2014 | 8:29 pm
    Since the early years of Cartoon Jackie, many different aspects of my person have changed drastically. From the beginning stages of primordial me, I lost the giant geeky glasses, my head got a little bigger, the feet and fingers went away, my facial features took a brief hiatus and came back as tiny eyes and huge mouth, and finally gained another dimension and leveled out as the magnificent creation you see before you today.Throughout all these changes, however, one thing has stayed the same:My ponytail.Remember this movie?Yeah, based on my life. Totally underrated, if you ask me. People…
 
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    Grahame GDG

  • Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame

    GrahameGDG
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:48 pm
    Excess Body Hair & Female Facial Hair | Don’t Ask Grahame Hello and welcome and hi to the latest episode in the highly acclaimed Dont Ask Grahame video series. What does that even mean? Highly acclaimed? If anyone knows let me know! So anyway this yetti woman decided to post this question online somewhere and BIG MISTAKE because I found it and I’m a bit of a massive prick. I was pretty harsh in the video but in all honesty though surely you can get some hormone stuff to make you grow less hair? Like I take this hormone stuff called “Chodeaway”. Don’t get it…
  • Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame

    GrahameGDG
    16 Oct 2014 | 1:42 pm
    Gave My Poo To An Old Lady | Story Time with Grahame Yeah true story! This is a tester for my new video series “Story Time With Grahame” where I basically tell you a funny story or two! This one is about the time I got tested for IBS and wheat intolerance and I had to poo in a pot and give it to an old lady. This is probably the most embarrassing story I have about myself particularly because it involves me talking about my own shite for 5 minutes straight! I think this video may seal my fate and mean that I never have sex again as no one who watches this will ever find me…
  • Awkward First Kiss Advice…Girl Kisses Her Own Brother!

    GrahameGDG
    12 Oct 2014 | 11:53 am
    Awkward First Kiss Advice …Girl Kisses Her Own Brother! | Don’t Ask Grahame Ok I admit the title to this one is a bit misleading but I couldn’t exactly write “kissed my brother” as the title. If I did people would be very freaked out and probably un-subscribe and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame them at all. Also if my brother saw the video title he would probably be thinking “when the hell did that happen?!?! Was I drugged?!” so yeah just going with the tame title on this one. So yeah this is totally screwed up but it was funny I have to admit. I…
  • How To Get Over A Break Up For Men

    GrahameGDG
    24 Sep 2014 | 12:56 pm
    How To Get Over A Break Up For Men | GrahameGDG Alright fellas? Been having a dump or been on the receiving end of a dump? If so then go wash the shit off yourself and come back to find out how to get over a breakup you dirty bastard. Now we’ve all been through tough breakups, it’s not nice, goes without saying. If this is your first one then yes you are supposed to not want to eat for like 2 days and yes you are supposed to not feel like having a wank for roughly the same time period. After those two days though hunger will drive you to eat and your swollen, blue testicles will…
  • How To Get Over A Break Up For Women

    GrahameGDG
    9 Sep 2014 | 1:29 pm
    How To Get Over A Break Up For Women | GrahameGDG Yet again uncle Grahame comes to the rescue with another excellent advice video to help out any of you dumpees and fresh widows. In this video I tell you everything you will ever need to know about getting over a break up. When I say everything I mean not a lot and when I say will ever need to know I mean wont ever need to know. Some of this is still relevant though if you want some ideas for witty comebacks for when you see them strutting about with their younger, hotter, more Swedish new girlfriend. I think the main things to remember is…
 
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    Do You Remember

  • It Happened Today — October 26

    Do You Remember
    25 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 26 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • It Happened Today — October 25

    Do You Remember
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 25 appeared first on Do You Remember.
  • You Grew Up In the 80s, If You Wore This To Halloween

    Neil Vazquez
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:37 am
    Between Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Reagan the 80s were a pretty weird decade. If you grew up back then, you’ll probably remember donning these cute, and probably carcinogenic, costumes trick-or-treating around your neighborhood. If you don’t then you likely grew up under a rock, or your parents were members of an evangelic sect that reviled the demonic holiday . Either way, relive the magic of the decade via these nostalgically 80s Halloween costumes. SEE ALSO: You Grew Up In The 70s, If You Wore This To Halloween   Chucky N. He saved and reuses the mask for every…
  • The 5 Scariest Haunted Houses in America

    Dre Weston
    24 Oct 2014 | 5:00 am
    Thrillvania, Texas Over the decades, visiting a haunted house attraction has become an integral part of the nostalgia and spirit of Halloween. So, to celebrate the ghouls and goblins who annually unleash bold terror on the laughing and screaming guests who flock to these attractions across the country, DYR presents our exclusive interview with Woods of Terror on Church Street creator Eddie McLaurin, whose massive fright show in Greensboro, North Carolina, which he founded in 1991, was recently named the No. 1 Horror Attraction in the Country by Haunted Attraction Magazine. SEE ALSO: The…
  • It Happened Today — October 24

    Do You Remember
    23 Oct 2014 | 9:01 pm
    Post written by Do You RememberThe post It Happened Today — October 24 appeared first on Do You Remember.
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    David Beckham Comics - Home

  • Mutant Attacks Men With Tire Iron

    22 Oct 2014 | 5:51 am
    Two men attacked by hungry human flesh eating mutant while Bearr watches!
  • Pumpkin Beer Tutorial Part 2 : Pumpkinator Label

    21 Oct 2014 | 12:31 pm
    The Pumpkin Beer Tutorial series continues with the Pumpkinator label. It's label of the deliciously devill-ish brew that men and thirsty vampires demand on halloween or any night! 
  • Nosferatu, Delilah and the Devill

    16 Oct 2014 | 1:29 pm
    A drained, dead crew and Nosferatu, the Pumpkin beer loving, thirsty vampire on board a ship along  with Delilah and Angelo Devill as it's only living and undead passengers!
  • MIBs-Murderers In Black 3: Horror Night

    15 Oct 2014 | 12:24 pm
    The MIBs (Murderers In Black) many years later roam dark eerie  city streets on a foggy, horror night in mid October!
  • The Pumpkin Beer Tutorial Continues This Friday

    13 Oct 2014 | 11:38 am
    The Pumpkin Beer Tutorial Series continues this Friday, this second part of the three part series takes you step by step through the process of creating this spooky beer's label! It's easy, It's good, it's got a few techniques you can use for almost all of your projects! Read it exclusively on this site and stay tuned for the last part which includes downloadable vector material, fun and free!
 
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    Above Average

  • Bradley Pitts, Rants, and Mariachi Covers

    Above Average
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:44 am
    Above Average’s staff answers the question: What’s the best thing you’ve seen on the internet this week? Between Two Ferns  “Zach Galifianakis interviewing this guy named ‘Bradley Pitts.'”  – Patty Izquierdo  IKEA Halloween “Have you been to the IKEA in Red Hook?” – Benjamin Baldwin   “Dammit” Mariachi Cover “Bet you didn’t think you’d enjoy a mariachi cover of Blink 182’s ‘Dammit.'” - Carl Baker   Bath and Body Works RANT! “Everyone needs to boycott Bath and Body works.
  • Unqualified Advice with Amy Sedaris

    Above Average
    23 Oct 2014 | 12:12 pm
    Life is full of MYSTERY, but luckily Amy Sedaris is here to answer the internet’s most pressing questions. Sedaris covers off on witchcraft, recipes, and laptops. Watch here:
  • You Won’t Believe This Cable Rep From Hell’s Cancellation Call with a Pet Turtle

    Ramsey Ess
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:29 pm
    The Internet has heard some horror stories about terrible cable representatives before, but nothing compares to what this subscriber endured. The customer service you’ll read in this phone transcript is so insulting that we can’t even tell you which provider it was. This cable company kept their customer on the line (who incidentally is a pet box turtle) for a whopping 23 minutes (!!). This is the transcript between a soulless nightmare cable rep and a non-verbal animal who accidentally hit redial on their owner’s phone:   Cable Rep: Sir you indicated through the phone tree that…
  • Bill Murray Shares His Birthing Wisdom

    Above Average
    22 Oct 2014 | 8:59 am
    Beloved actor and St. Vincent star Bill Murray stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live to share his parenting tips. In summary: lighting is everything.
  • Jim Carrey to Host a Spooky Halloween SNL

    Above Average
    22 Oct 2014 | 8:58 am
    Jim and Aidy are here to promote Saturday’s upcoming SNL — and get #Jaidy trending. Who better to host the Halloween show than someone with a history of wearing masks? Tune in to SNL on October 25th at 11:30pm.
 
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    The Life Lessonbook

  • World Class at All the Wrong Things

    Dustin
    22 Oct 2014 | 4:40 am
    I don’t like to brag, but over the past few years, I’ve become reeeeeeealllllllly good at the following skills: Keeping 100% up-to-date on my entire Twitter feed at all times Avoiding quiet moments by whipping out my phone anytime one threatens to sneak up Collecting enough coins in Madden 14 Mobile to buy Brian Hoyer, which takes much, MUCH longer than it should Ignoring my wife while honing the aforementioned skills Last month, while I was deeply involved in the last skill, Deserae scooted over to me. “Hey, I thought this was cool,” she said. She showed me an article where this guy…
  • The Time I Won the Lottery

    Dustin
    15 Oct 2014 | 4:15 am
    Deserae and I win a LOT of stuff. As I have discussed before, most people find this insufferable. But when they’re done rolling their eyes and saying angry things I hope they don’t mean, everyone always comes back with the same question: “How are you so lucky?” My response: #blessed. I say this because I know it’s what I’m supposed to say, not because it’s how I actually feel. Deep down, I’ve always been convinced that I’m lucky with these things because I make my own luck. Like, if you enter more, you’re probably going to win more, ya know? However, even I know that…
  • Parenting Tips From an Angry Mob

    Dustin
    8 Oct 2014 | 4:39 am
    I spent last Tuesday scribbling parenting notes. I wasn’t attending a parenting seminar or being mentored or even sitting near a single child. I was at a public hearing. I believe that moderating a public hearing about an unpopular decision has to be exactly like parenting a teenager. I guess I can’t say for sure because I have never done either, but it seems like, whenever they get angry, the public and teenagers do the same four things: YELL Issue slanderous statements against authority Make bad analogies Bring up the Bill of Rights I know this because I was both a teenager and a…
  • Farewell Old Friend

    Dustin
    1 Oct 2014 | 4:53 am
    Last week, an old friend of mine passed away. I haven’t been asked yet to give a eulogy at the funeral, but I thought I’d write one up, just to help me work through some emotions. We’re gathered here today to honor the memory of 1GCDL19W5TB552866, a 1993 Ford Tempo affectionately named “The Red Rocket.” The Red Rocket wasn’t the fastest car on the road. Or the fanciest. Or the most reliable. She was labeled by many a “Roller Skate,” “Death Trap” and “Ugliest Car I’ve Ever Seen.” But she was my first, and I loved her dearly. Rather than complain about her habits of…
  • Why I Owe a 9-Year-Old $100

    Dustin
    24 Sep 2014 | 4:22 am
    As a human race, we have a lot of disagreements. However, I think there are two things that everyone on earth, regardless of race, religion, politics and wealth, can agree upon: No one needed a fourth Indiana Jones movie Magic is the best thing ever I believe that if you’re good at magic, you’ll never have an enemy again. Just imagine if the President of the United States could do magic. During the State of the Union Address, he’d be talking about his policy, and the camera would pan around to Senators being crabby like normal. But then at the end, he pulls out a deck of cards and tells…
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    Hipblow

  • The New Emoji Masks Are Just Perfect For Pictures!

    HipBlow
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:00 pm
    The Emoji Masks are a new fun costume, they’re perfect for pictures. These could be the masks which you and your friends could enjoy this Halloween...The post The New Emoji Masks Are Just Perfect For Pictures! appeared first on Hipblow.
  • These Original Packaging Designs Will Make You Want To Own The Product

    HipBlow
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:30 am
    After seeing these pictures you will be sure that a good packaging design can work as the best advertising ever. I wish I could find some of these in my local grocery store. Check out these creative and original packaging designs will make you want to own the product...The post These Original Packaging Designs Will Make You Want To Own The Product appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Meet Bailey The Dog: Face of The Famous Meme “I Have No Idea What I’m Doing”

    HipBlow
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:00 am
    Remember the meme of Dog sitting in front of a laptop with a caption saying "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing"? Well, the proud protagonist is called Bailey and her owner has come with more funny pictures of this cute Golden Retriever facing confusing situations!...The post Meet Bailey The Dog: Face of The Famous Meme “I Have No Idea What I’m Doing” appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Creative Games Of Thrones Art Pieces

    HipBlow
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:30 am
    HBO's popular series Games of Thrones has given artists a lot of material to work with. Check out these creative Games Of Thrones art pieces that capture the true essence of the show...The post Creative Games Of Thrones Art Pieces appeared first on Hipblow.
  • Scarlett Madison Will Be Your Favorite Model After This Post

    HipBlow
    23 Oct 2014 | 1:30 pm
    Scarlett Madison is a model that has been popular among the Tumblr and Deviantart community lately. These pictures will show you why...The post Scarlett Madison Will Be Your Favorite Model After This Post appeared first on Hipblow.
 
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    RhymeZone Forums

  • Omnipresent, we are...

    TrueHorizon
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:24 pm
    Harboring this vessel is where no eye lies in waiting vision A divergence, so left never beyond this mirrored glass Is one side dark? what does one side see if there came another Inside this vessel where no one can touch, hold your hands on cold See, by vision where we, who we are not, not who we are, see ourselves where only a sight, pierce beyond this horizon, Planes no longer 3 dimensional, on at our right, our left, the corners, our wrong No longer severed, yet transcends to a singularity look at me, hear me, my hands, closer, take your hands inside too far… break this layer... though…
  • 23 Oct 2014 | 6:25 am

    Humannature923
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:25 am
    “Prison” Confined from the start, birth in prison so my thoughts were already limited from the time I started knowing that my time has come. I started to clean out my closet. I couldn’t live life with so much clutter, “ I lose a lot of friends and they wasn’t even dead”, like Wale say. Struggle to progress and not to fail still landed me in jail, a voice said no get back up and fight for one. So this trip begun and my fun was lose toss around how could a person make it in life with so many problems beating them down. I shake my head and look down I ‘m surrounded by evil…
  • 23 Oct 2014 | 6:22 am

    Humannature923
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:22 am
    Broken Glass” Now lay I me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake. God take my soul for Jesus sake. My bible on my night stand And my dream has broken glass. My thoughts and prayers for me the lower class, We’re walking on thick glass, Pyrex stuck between my toes, A vision of missed interpretation and lost souls. Why must I have such a deep vision When the person that deceived me isn’t in it. Read between the lines or read between the parables, He is giving me a sign but will I figure it out in time. Chaos and pandemonium in my mind, Speculation of…
  • 19 Oct 2014 | 10:28 pm

    Tony Peyser
    19 Oct 2014 | 10:28 pm
    Tony Peyser lives with his wife and son in Altadena, California.
  • Not My Pair Of Shoes

    Myetcn
    19 Oct 2014 | 9:15 pm
    I put on a pair of shoes, Laced them twice, but got confused. I looked around for someone who Could have taken my pair of shoes. These shoes weren't red. They were not even thread. How could someone have misread And taken my pair of shoes? I could not wear these. Could not walk or talk or sneeze In these were not my jogging ease Where could be my pair of shoes? I promised myself I wouldn't, Again and again said i shouldn't, Didn't think I even could but I stepped in this pair of shoes. How marvelous a feeling From my toes up to the ceiling; I couldn't believe i could be reeling In another…
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    Dubious Knowledge Institute

  • Flip it Good: 12 Spatula Facts

    dvanoss
    20 Oct 2014 | 2:35 pm
    THIS WEEKS’ TOPIC IS A COLUMN CHALLENGE; suggest yours here. It waits in your utensil drawer; flat, simple, waiting to scrape the teflon off your best Calphalon pan. The lowly spatula may not be as popular at the high school dance as the pie server or grilling tongs, but it does serve a purpose in its own, quiet, greasy way. The spatula derives its name from the Latin word spatha, meaning broadsword, which conjures up visions of Roman centurions clumsily flipping burgers with their swords at a pre-village-conquering tailgate party. The same Latin root also has similarities to the…
  • How to Wallpaper a Room in 8 Curse Words or Less

    dvanoss
    14 Oct 2014 | 3:00 am
    Anyone can paint a room, or a room and a carpet, or a room, carpet and dog, but it takes a special skill to enhance your decor with that unique, insoluble glue that only wallpaper can bring to your rug. Adding wallpaper is an easy way to add spice to a space, or, as we prefer to say, an easy way to an involuntary mental evaluation. You can take a room from dull to dashing, with a brief stop at Xanax, in a matter of hours, or even minutes, if you own a staple gun. Although it may seem intimidating, like performing brain surgery with gluey, sticky fingers, these simple tips can help anyone can…
  • The 5 Life Stages of Halloween

    dvanoss
    7 Oct 2014 | 12:40 pm
    Hear that? It’s the sound of Candy Manufacturer Workers punching time clocks because they have to work overtime to make more “Fun Size” Butterfingers for your kids to put in their plastic pumpkins! Which can only mean it’s Halloween, the worst time of year to be a diabetic or dental hygienist. Halloween History …it has become much cheaper to dole out a handful of Dum Dums rather than be dragged through an arduous lawsuit over smashed pumpkins and flaming dog doo.The tradition of going from door to door to receive food existed in Great Britain and Ireland in…
  • 15 Mildly Accurate Facts About Chocolate

    dvanoss
    1 Oct 2014 | 7:36 am
    The lure of chocolate has drawn mankind for centuries down its smooth, brown river of enticement, over its sweet, cocoa-flavored falls where, for a split second, we pause to bask in its unparalleled flavor, just before  smashing on its sharp, calorie-laden rocks below. Advertisers entice us with exciting, made up chocolate words such as “chocoriffic“, or “choctacular” or “chocsational” or “stupen-choco-dous”, some of which we, of course, made up, but which greedy advertisers will now probably steal. So what is this appeal that this simple…
  • 20 (Suspicious and Somewhat Useless) Facts About Wisconsin

    dvanoss
    22 Sep 2014 | 6:27 pm
    1 Official Motto: “Forward” 2 Unofficial Motto: “14% Easier To Get Into Than Czechoslovakia” 3 Wisconsin has 7,446 streams and rivers. Placed end to end, they would stretch a lot farther than whatever Minnesota has, you can bet that. 4 Wisconsin has a professional football team. If we say the name here, the comments section will melt into a pool of Velveeta-like tailgating football fervor. 5 The House on the Rock was designed and built in the 1940’s, and houses over 244 dead tourists trapped in the Infinity Room. 6 Wisconsin is nicknamed the Badger State because…
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    The Name's Ponyboy

  • I Like Saturday (32)

    ponyboy
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:15 am
    Have fun and do the right thing… The post I Like Saturday (32) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Golf Gangsta

    ponyboy
    24 Oct 2014 | 1:00 pm
    Nothing will ever be as legendary in this Golf Gangsta’s game again. The post Golf Gangsta appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • GIF Pony (12)

    ponyboy
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:30 am
    There’s some dangerous dancing going down on this Pony.  Surf’s up! The post GIF Pony (12) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • I Like These (33)

    ponyboy
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:30 am
    It’s Friday, this week flew by. 7 days…until Halloween. Tonights a good night to watch The Ring. The post I Like These (33) appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
  • Passion of the Manwhore

    ponyboy
    23 Oct 2014 | 1:00 pm
    This is great… The post Passion of the Manwhore appeared first on The Name's Ponyboy.
 
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    Winston's Random Musings

  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 4)

    Winston Chong
    12 Oct 2014 | 10:24 pm
      Too proud to beg,Too dumb to steal,Too shy to ask,Too stiff to learn,Too meek to reject, Too smart to admit any of that*****   I don't go into discussions about whether I see my proverbial cup as half-empty or half-full. Because I always make sure my cup is overflowing at all times...with ice-cold beer. When I'm at play, it will be quench my thirst. When I'm at work, it will be dumped on those idiots who step on my toes, which I constantly need refilling! ***** A senior and longtime middle-aged female colleague had this weird notion that I'm still single and wanted to intro a…
  • Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

    Winston Chong
    6 Oct 2014 | 7:35 am
    1. Porn: there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.  2. Personal porn: you can have a ball of a time elsewhere ogling at female bloggers slash model slash actress slash race queen providing revealing selfies. No need for this nerd to pimp himself.3. Food porn: I don't own a DSLR nor do I get to eat for free. iEat, iBurp, iShit. 4. Word porn: I find scolding jerks using vulgarities or genitalia a lazy cop-out. There are far more flowery words to choose to insult someone with greater effect.5. Social porn: no inspirational quotes or…
  • 9 things I learnt in Seoul after 6 days or how I 'start to stop the keeping warm jar'

    Winston Chong
    2 Oct 2014 | 7:16 am
    I think Japanese are friendlier.1. Despite the plethora of skin-care boutiques, not all Koreans are blessed with glowing complexion, and it makes you wonder about the effectiveness of those face masks.2. Real Koreans have single eyelid. Those with double eyelids are happy customers from the dozens of cosmetic surgery clinics that lined the boulevards.3. There are few eye candies that caught my eyes. The cosmetically enhanced ones are already in K-Pop bands, TV dramas and movies. Tourists can see the real Koreans by visiting the country.4. Major shopping districts will have multiple shops from…
  • Stockholm Syndrome

    Winston Chong
    9 Sep 2014 | 5:40 pm
    Stockholm Syndrome perfectly describes how fans of a certain fruit company ignored the superb offerings from rival plantations for years and willingly forgive this company when it finally listens to their pleas and gives them a bigger fruit today. I'll not take a bite from this fruit since I have the entire orchard to choose from.
  • This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 3)

    Winston Chong
    3 Sep 2014 | 2:47 am
    While guys like me approaching the big Four-Oh aspire to be a 'hunkle' (Hunky uncle), most likely I'll just turn out to be a 'funkle' (fatty uncle). But since I don't have any nephews or nieces, technically I wouldn't get to be a bona fide uncle, so I'll just go straight from being a nerd to Dirty Old Man.*****I know that Facebook/personal blog can be a depressing place where you hate-read your friend's updates on their perfect life and their even more perfect meal. Allow me to reveal some nasty things about myself so you will feel better about yourself. I'm a bad liar, a horrible MCP and I'm…
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    Funny Dating & Relationship Stories & Advice - Melanys Guydlines

  • Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

    Melany
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:25 pm
    Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself... Continue Reading
  • Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

    Melany
    22 Oct 2014 | 8:57 am
    I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just... Continue Reading
  • Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen

    Melany
    15 Oct 2014 | 7:55 am
    Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from... Continue Reading
  • Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

    Melany
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:06 pm
    So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails... Continue Reading
  • Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

    Melany
    9 Oct 2014 | 1:32 pm
    I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that... Continue Reading
 
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    Welcome to The Midside

  • The Civil War Edition

    themidside
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:21 pm
    Are you an Iron Man Fan or a Captain America Defender? Justin and Elliot take their sides and state their cases for the upcoming Marvel Civil War. Later in TV with JML, we unpack the latest episodes of The Walking Dead and Doctor Who and Daniel shares his excitement over CBS’ Digital Subscription Service. Also, there’s a lot of talk about shitting on people.
  • The Shortsighted Edition

    themidside
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:51 am
    The Walking Dead is back and we couldn’t be happier with the direction we see it headed in. Of course, we’re only able to see down the road to DC because we work hard not to be shortsighted. Elliot also returns with a vengeance, calling out gays for their behavior and defending his love for procedurals.
  • The Handguns Edition

    themidside
    6 Oct 2014 | 11:38 pm
    What if you could 3D print handguns? What if you could play in a band called Handguns? We answer these questions and more as Handguns guitarist Brandon Pagano takes a break from tour for A Midside Conversation about why he loves creating pop punk music. We also remind everyone involved in the NFL why it’s stupid to piss off Tom Brady (but ask them to keep doing it because we love watching the results).
  • The Ish Edition

    themidside
    30 Sep 2014 | 12:33 am
    Be careful what you ish for or you’ll end up with episodes like this one. We discuss the three-breast duping and the attack on Emma Watson before reviewing the series premieres of Scorpion, Gotham, and Blackish. Our fixation on LOST also returns as we ponder its legacy. No, we haven’t changed our minds about Season 6. Not even a little-ish.
  • The 2014 Fall TV Premiere Week Edition

    themidside
    22 Sep 2014 | 10:43 pm
    Rejoice. Television season has returned. We discuss which shows we’ll be watching and which we’ll be reviewing. We also tackle some really strange issues like three-boobed women and Meth Monks. And all the while, Justin tries to make hippiecrite happen.
 
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    Gifking-blog

  • Enjoy a cheerful Life with Funny Cartoon Images

    Kumiko kurosu
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:35 am
    Can you make someone happy? Let him roll all over on the floor as he keeps on laughing constantly. Well, such desired skills are often practiced by cartoonist, comedians, jokers of circus. These people are professionals who make their living out of laughter, but now the time has arrived for the common man to make his family, friends and loved one hilariously happy. Especially the children at home requires special treatment from you as they are the most difficult to please. They’re swinging moods and playfulness often makes it difficult to understand them clearly. However; the kids have…
  • Elevate your Drab Mood with Really Funny Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    8 Sep 2014 | 3:02 am
    Nowadays the main topic of discussion among everyone is on how to keep stress at bay. Newspaper, magazines, TV, movies every kind of media is trying their level best to create awareness on the very bad effects of stress and diseases related to it. Top physicians are prescribing good diet, exercise and of course most important of all the pill of good laughter. In the busy schedule of everyday one tries to find the easiest way to gain happiness and it could be attained through really funny pictures showcased with medium of online funny web sites. The contemporary sector of fun has a new…
  • Funny GIF Images The Original Source Of Laughter

    Kumiko kurosu
    11 Jun 2014 | 4:08 am
    An emotion defines human, animals and every other living thing. Well the whole world experience’s emotions of nature too along with rain, earthquake, Tsunami and like. Emotions are a way to show what we are feeling inside. The common sentiments like anger, sorrow, laughter, disgust and others are easily captured under our eyes.  Yet from time to time we all feel deprived of a sentiment called laughter. It is a widely accepted gesture that bond people together, spreads brotherhood, despite geological borders. So to keep it alive we get help from several creative sources like jokes,…
  • Funny Crazy Picture Gallery A Complete Illustration Of Universal Brotherhood

    Kumiko kurosu
    6 Jun 2014 | 9:44 pm
    Are you getting upset easily, quite often? Feelings lost and depressed then cheer up as the amazing world of internet is available to make you happy as a small baby. It can keep you entertained along with its various entertaining videos, news and much more. Practice watching these things as famous comic artist Charlie Chaplin had once said in his interview that “laughter is more precious compared to all the wealth of the world”. So keeping that in mind today various outstanding web are vying with each other to acquire a huge and memorable collection of funny picture gallery which keep…
  • The Many Aspects Of Funny Animated Pictures

    Kumiko kurosu
    22 May 2014 | 12:37 am
    The art of storytelling has been a part of every countries tradition. Good parenting believes in the aspect too. The characterization of Tom and Jerry, Garfield, Donald duck, Mickey mouse, Minnie, Scooby Doo the dog, Cbeebies and Teletubbies and Tinker Bell, Carousel and in numerous are created to please the  mind of young and old alike. These funny animated pictures create a moment of unstoppable laughter as one views it. Most likely a child connects to these pictures more than an adult because he or she finds it more lovable, easy to get glued to it and to feel a feeling of comfort,…
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    CheesyPeasy

  • Gamers Life

    cheesypeasy
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:41 am
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Gamers Life appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • That Summarizes Wresting

    cheesypeasy
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:55 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post That Summarizes Wresting appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • People Need to Become More Aware

    cheesypeasy
    21 Oct 2014 | 10:35 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post People Need to Become More Aware appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Best Anti Theft Protection

    cheesypeasy
    21 Oct 2014 | 9:10 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Best Anti Theft Protection appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
  • Geee… Thanks Gandalf

    cheesypeasy
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:05 pm
    [source] Likes(0)Dislikes(0)The post Geee… Thanks Gandalf appeared first on CheesyPeasy.
 
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    GiGi Eats Celebrities

  • Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    21 Oct 2014 | 9:02 pm
    I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping…  But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]
  • A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    14 Oct 2014 | 5:22 am
    As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]
  • Good Mood Food: We Could All Use Some

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    7 Oct 2014 | 5:31 am
    Let me take a WILD guess as to what happened to you this morning… You woke up after pressing snooze for about 45 minutes. Realizing that you’re going to be extremely late, you wrestle with your TRUE love (your lush pillow but of course) only to fall flat on your face thanks to your bed pulling a “piledriver” on you… A move that’s even banned from the WWE. After regaining consciousness, you dizzily race on over to your “trusty” liquid energizer (your [Read On!]
  • Joan Rivers: A Toast To You!

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    30 Sep 2014 | 5:22 am
    Joan Rivers and I met a couple of times when I worked at E! Entertainment. “THE TWINS” circa Feb 2011! OMG am I wearing… GASP: HEELS? Check us out now MAKING POP TARTS! I’m still shocked she never once told me that my outfits look like regurgitated remnants of a broken garbage disposal. The dress code in the GiGi Eats kitchen! She didn’t even say ANYTHING about my Adidas sandals that have been surgically fused to my feet for the past 6 years. I wonder how many plastic [Read On!]
  • Recipe Redux: Get Chip-Faced with Chipkins

    GiGi EatsCelebrities
    22 Sep 2014 | 5:29 am
    Dehydration is never a good look in Hollywood…. Can you guess the fashion designer? I could have posted another photo of Tara Reid, but no need to “rib” on her again!   Or anywhere for that matter…  Is this normal? Cat people – weigh in…   EXCEPT for… THE KITCHEN! Uh, please do take a minute to check out this sensual food pornography…   Today I am serving up dehydrated pumpkin chips, or what I like to call CHIPKINS! It’s [Read On!]
 
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    PMSLweb

  • Weekend lolz – Crazy is in the house tonight

    FROZ
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:20 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersWeekend lolz – Before getting started today, we would like to wish a Happy New Year to all our Muslim buddies, we hope that the upcoming year will treat you right and turn out to be synonym of love, health and happiness in general (please take it easy on the nanah tea will you). As far as the rest of the news is concerned it’s the weekend would you believe it, and since it’s time to kick-off your shoes and enjoy, here’s our weekend selection of funnies. Wishing you a gorgeous PMSLweb moment! This post Weekend lolz – Crazy is in…
  • Crazy Friday – Funnies to kickstart the mood

    FROZ
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:27 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersCrazy Friday – This time next week, many of you will be refining the last details of their naughty Tinkerbell, virile Wolverine or demoniacal lord of darkness costumes; while others will be blending together the ingredients of that kick-butt punch recipe they found online sometime earlier. In the meantime though, why not treat yourself to some stress-free quality time by given the following collection of funnies a peep? Wishing you a delightful weekend ahead and a fun PMSLweb moment. This post Crazy Friday – Funnies to kickstart the…
  • Jokey Hump day – A Wednesday gallery of smiles

    FROZ
    22 Oct 2014 | 2:11 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersJokey Hump day – Now that you find yourself hitting the climax of this business week, you need to decide on which strategy to adopt in order to safely reach ground level by Friday evening. Evidently, some may be tempted to bungee jump their way down, but if that’s the case, you should seriously give it second thoughts as it could turn out to be quite a perilous operation. Why not just play it safe, and glide down with a smile on your face? Wishing you a mischievous PMSLweb moment! This post Jokey Hump day – A Wednesday gallery of…
  • Tuesday craziness – A basket full of chuckles

    FROZ
    21 Oct 2014 | 2:48 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersTuesday craziness – As you pursue your journey up the sacred business mount, you must fight the temptation to look back (to the weekend, not to your good old friend Monday evidently); so in order to keep your mind busy, why not take a peek at what we have put together for you…. Wishing you a peachy PMSLweb moment! This post Tuesday craziness – A basket full of chuckles appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
  • Monday sarcasm – When the circumstances require radical lolz

    FROZ
    20 Oct 2014 | 12:46 am
    PMSLweb - Piss Myself laughing - The Internet ScavengersMonday sarcasm – Aaaand the weekend is over. A very harsh but undeniable reality, which requires the use of the most refined and heavy artillery you have in your possession: Sarcasm. Indeed, in order to make it through Monday-the-terrible, no half-measures can be accepted, and kick-butt is the name of the game! Wishing you a wonderful new week and a cheeky PMSLweb moment! This post Monday sarcasm – When the circumstances require radical lolz appeared first on PMSLweb , home of the Internet Scavengers!
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    WordPress.com News

  • The NaMos are Coming! The NaMos are Coming!

    Michelle W.
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    November is one week away, and that means NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are, too! If you’ve been thinking about reinvigorating your blogging or are finally ready to stop procrastinating on that book you’ve always wanted to write, these two great events (and communities) can give you the jolt of motivation you need. NaMo what now? NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are short for “National Novel Writing Month” and “National Blog Posting Month,” respectively. In the first, writers commit to writing a 50,000-word novel between November 1 and November 30; in the second, to…
  • New Themes: Minnow and Cols

    Tammie Lister
    23 Oct 2014 | 8:00 am
    We’re happy to introduce two brand new free themes today! Minnow Designed by Mel Choyce, Minnow is a light, simple theme that puts your social presence front and center. A social links menu is displayed prominently below the site title and logo, so readers can easily find you on your favorite social networks. When activated, the optional Custom Menu or Widget area appear in a slide-out sidebar, making secondary content accessible while keeping the focus on your content. Learn more about the free Minnow theme at the Theme Showcase, or preview it by going to Appearance → Themes. Cols…
  • Longreads’ Best of WordPress, Vol. 7

    Mark Armstrong
    22 Oct 2014 | 10:08 am
    Here it is! A new collection of our favorite stories from across all of WordPress. As always, you can find our past collections here. You can follow Longreads on WordPress.com for more daily reading recommendations, or subscribe to our free weekly email. Publishers, writers, you can share links to your favorite essays and interviews (over 1,500 words) on Twitter (#longreads) and on WordPress.com by tagging your posts longreads. 1. What Happens When a Veteran High School Teacher Becomes a Student for the Day Grant Wiggins “I waited fourteen years to do something that I should have done my…
  • A New My Sites Section

    Andy Peatling
    20 Oct 2014 | 10:10 pm
    My Sites just got a new look, but more importantly, it got a technical overhaul, making the page dramatically faster and more powerful. From one central location, scan and select any of your WordPress sites or create new ones with the support of a more visual interface. Head directly to the posts or pages of a particular WordPress or launch stats to glimpse trends and get inspiration for blog or website content.  Access themes, user settings, and sharing options with a click to make WordPress your own. The new My Sites page is a small piece of a larger effort to make WordPress.com faster,…
  • New Theme: Penscratch

    Caroline Moore
    16 Oct 2014 | 10:00 am
    Today we have a brand new free theme especially for writers and bloggers! Penscratch Penscratch is a clean, sophisticated theme for sharing your writing. Whether you’re working on an analytical essay, an anthology of poems, or a piece of long-form fiction, Penscratch makes for a pleasant reading and writing experience all around. Choose between a one- or two-column layout by adding widgets, add links to your favorite social networks, customize your home on the web with a site logo or header image, or add fancy pull quotes throughout your content. Penscratch is also responsive, ensuring…
 
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    Humoropedia

  • 9 Worst Albums Of Nineties Music

    Clever Cleverinski
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:58 pm
    We actually enjoyed listening to some of these nineties’ albums. But the article is well-written, so we have published it read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • This Star Wars Character Robbed The Bank

    Roman Marshanski
    24 Oct 2014 | 10:47 pm
    Have you ever tried to rob a bank? Well, probably not. But how about dressing as Darth Vader? Well, someone read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • A Bag Of Money Falls Off The Roof. Blame Bad Memory.

    Roman Marshanski
    23 Oct 2014 | 6:22 pm
    Have you ever forgotten a bag of money on the roof of your car? You may point out you don’t read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • To Watch Blacklist, Someone Tried To Hack This Website

    Clever Cleverinski
    22 Oct 2014 | 11:57 pm
    You may have heard of a famous TV show The Blacklist. It is so famous Netflix paid 2 million dollars read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
  • Funny Pictures of Paranoid Parrot

    Clever Cleverinski
    22 Oct 2014 | 9:45 pm
    Check out this parrot’s paranoid behavior. It is as funny as it is ridiculous. You will laugh at this crazy read more » Get high on funny humor: Visit Humoropedia ©2013 Humoropedia Inc. Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this in your feed reader or on Humoropedia.com, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please email the site's url to *protected email*
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    I Hate Working In Retail

  • The Struggles Only People Who Work In Retail Understand

    Mbeddau
    25 Oct 2014 | 12:48 pm
    In theory, working in retail is great! From big discounts to being among cute clothes all the time, what else could be better, right? Wrong! The retail-worker struggle is SO incredibly real… 1. You find yourself folding tables even when you’re off the clock. And when you’re in someone else’s store! 2. Trying to take a day off on a black-out date is your worst nightmare. It’d prob be easier to break into the White House. 3. And speaking of worst nightmares, Black Friday still haunts your dreams. So. Many. People, So. Much. Mess. 4. You’re used to customers expecting you to have…
  • 11 WAYS TO PISS OFF YOUR BARISTA

    Mbeddau
    25 Oct 2014 | 11:45 am
    1. Changing your order when the barista is already halfway through making it (source: reactiongifs) “Oh, I wanted that made with skim milk!” “Didn’t I say iced??” (97% of the time, no, you did not)   2. Talking on the phone while ordering (source: replygif) Just… no. If you don’t understand why this is rude, you need to re-evaluate your life.   3. Picking up someone else’s drink (source: reactiongifs) Why do you have to ruin everything?   4. Ordering an extra, extra, extra dry cappuccino (source: reactiongifs) One, this drink…
  • 23 Secrets Supermarket Employees Won’t Tell You

    Mbeddau
    24 Oct 2014 | 11:55 am
    1. You do a lot more than just stand at a register. In fact, it’s likely you’ve been cross-trained in multiple departments. Alcon Entertainment / Via halpertjames.tumblr.com 2. The “find everything OK?” smile takes a great deal of effort. Disney / Via terp-life.tumblr.com 3. The gossip about interdepartmental relationships never disappoints. Disney / Via bitchin-disney.tumblr.com “She hooked up with WHO in dairy?!” 4. You’ve memorized your store’s shitty playlist, and the words to every exciting announcement. Big Talk Films / Via reaction-gifs.tumblr.com “ATTENTION SHOPPERS:…
  • 33 Argos Catalogue Pages That Will Make You Feel Hopelessly Nostalgic

    Mbeddau
    23 Oct 2014 | 11:31 am
    Argos catalogues are a thing of beauty. Retromash / Via retromash.com Just look at the cover of the 1991 catalogue. It’s like a magical time capsule full of reasonably priced goods. That’s why Michael Hay, the creator of vintage siteRetromash, decided to scan and upload his whole collection. Retromash / Via retromash.com Yep. That’s the first ever Argos catalogue. You can view the contents here. Hay told us why he collected the catalogues: Retromash / Via retromash.com “For me, one of the big parts of Christmas was flicking through the Argos catalogue to try to decide which toys and…
  • 15 Things Every Barista Knows To Be True

    Mbeddau
    22 Oct 2014 | 1:52 pm
    1. Ordering a dry cappuccino makes you an awful human being. foodspotting.com Especially ordering one during the morning rush. They take forever to make, which backs up the rest of the orders. So congrats, now everyone behind you hates you. Plus, it’s not even a cappuccino; it’s a cup of milky-air with some espresso at the bottom. Ugh. 2. Early morning is horrible for everyone, including your barista, so inside voices are appreciated. worth1000.com Look, I know this is customer service, but cut your barista a little slack if they seem less than thrilled to make your quad-shot short-pull…
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    absrdCOMEDY

  • U.S. Government Unveils Plan to Combat Global Warming by Releasing Genetically Engineered Glacier

    Dan Burt
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:15 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a news conference, a plan was revealed for releasing a genetically engineered glacier somewhere in the contiguous United States. “We want to stop global warming in our lifetimes,” said Dr. Broderick “Brod the Bod” Smoot of the Weather Control Office, an entity still not officially recognized by the U.S. Government. “Or at least use government resources to significantly retard it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say ‘government.'” When asked where, Dr. Smoot said the ideal location is Kansas…
  • Stetson Presents: Ask A Redneck 4

    Stetson Ashpaugh
    25 Oct 2014 | 8:12 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor Whoooo!! Week 4 y’all!! It’s already been a month since you’ve started submitting questions to this thing. I have to say I’m surprised at the amount I’ve received. Here’s this week’s top 3: 1. Are Indians still pretty bad in Oklahoma? I remember reading it was their territory once. -Marsha O., Minneapolis, MN. What do you mean by bad? If you mean do they run around on mustangs throwing handmade spears and scalping the white man, no. If you mean they run around in Mustangs from casino to casino emptying the wallets of…
  • MORE absrdCOMEDY’s #‎FastFoodSlogans via @hashtagshowcase: Our Top Picks

    Darnell Anderson
    24 Oct 2014 | 9:15 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor HASHTAG WAR!!! YOU DEMANDED IT SO… Here’s MORE #FastFoodSlogans top picks! #McCruelty – I’m Hatin’ It. RT if u agree! #FastFoodSlogans #McDonalds pic.twitter.com/UAihjWDpGF — PETA (@peta) October 23, 2014 McDonald's: Work for us, we'll treat you right! #FastFoodSlogans @hashtagshowcase pic.twitter.com/opuUYdQ4md — Jill Lewis (@GKJill) October 23, 2014 KFC because lets be honest guys these are the only breasts you will be touching anytime soon #FastFoodSlogans @hashtagshowcase — Joe Blow (@nta71) October…
  • absrdCOMEDY’s #‎FastFoodSlogans via @hashtagshowcase: Our Top Picks

    Darnell Anderson
    24 Oct 2014 | 6:40 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor HASHTAG WAR!!! Here’s our #FastFoodSlogans top picks! THANKS TO EVERYONE for helping make this trend across the USA!!! Sonic – so you can't get out of your car anymore? No problem. How many shakes with that? #FastFoodSlogans — SophieDiddles (@sophie_diddles) October 23, 2014 Krispy Kreme, Because You're Too Lazy to Score Heroin #FastFoodSlogans @hashtagshowcase — Kells (@nerdgangbang) October 23, 2014 KFC – We do chicken, right? #FastFoodSlogans @hashtagshowcase — mohib (@chuuew) October 23, 2014 Taco Bell: goes…
  • Lonely Hearts Flock to See “Gone Girl” To Feel Good About Being Single

    Kasha Patel
    24 Oct 2014 | 3:43 am
    absrdCOMEDY - open source humor WASHINGTON, D.C.— All over the nation, depressed and lonely hearts are hesitantly entering movie theaters to see Gone Girl and are enthusiastically leaving feeling much better about their sad, solitary existence. “When I watch The Notebook, I cry because I won’t ever have that love story. After watching Gone Girl, I cried because I was terrified. The husband and wife seemed so normal but turned out to be very crazy,” said moviegoer Sally Mae. “You just never know who you’re dating, so I’m very happy being single.” Mae has since developed trust…
 
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    Peak Perspective

  • Give Me the Straight Dope

    peakperspective
    25 Oct 2014 | 7:17 pm
    General words of wisdom suggest everything in moderation, right? But I’ve got an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, steamy kind of dreamy need for podcasts. And I think my weakness might hover right on the edge of addiction. I actually crave my daily dose with an urgency that suggests the necessity for an intervention. I’m a […]
  • This is No Laughing “Matter”

    peakperspective
    18 Oct 2014 | 7:36 pm
    Two weeks later there are seventeen staples. That’s the punch line of this joke. Except, it ended up being much more of a punch in the gut, than a good giggle. Still, as with every adventure I experience, there is a constant narrative running in my mind. I cannot stop it. I share it with […]
  • At Your Service, Madam!

    peakperspective
    11 Oct 2014 | 8:09 pm
    Welcome to In A Jiffy Internet! You’ve reached repair services. For English, please stay on the line—para Espanol oprima nueve. Tap. Tap. Tap. I have your phone number as 988-042-1414. If you’re calling about the account for that number, say yes, or press one. Otherwise, say no, or press two. Yes. Sorry. I didn’t hear […]
  • In the Heat of the Moment

    peakperspective
    4 Oct 2014 | 7:41 pm
    There are moments when you feel the stars align and the gods have smiled down upon you, and then there are the moments when you’re actually awake.   This week has been an exercise in staying off the “She’s gone postal” bulletin. I’m sure it’s not been pleasant for anyone around me, despite my epic […]
  • I Love You For Sentimental Reasons

    peakperspective
    27 Sep 2014 | 7:26 pm
    I am a saver. On the border of a hoarder, but still safely on the saver side. Regardless, it’s clear some culling needs to be done. It’s best to have someone stern and unattached help you with this project because there’s nothing more clarifying than having that somebody snatch the third identical teapot from your gooey […]
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    Robot Butt

  • Things You Should Know About: ‘Pet Shop of Horrors’

    Linton D. Lewis
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:22 pm
    Here’s the deal:There aren’t enough good anthology shows. Since Rod Serling mastered the technique in the 1950s-60s with The Twilight Zone and proved what could be achieved in the format, there haven’t been many worthwhile successors. Shows like Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales from the Darkside, Tales of the Unexpected and Serling’s own Night Gallery were often more bland or bad than they were good, and even a standout like Tales from the Crypt only had a few really great episodes, the rest always being hindered by the required tongue-in-cheek tone of the series.“My last…
  • Monster Week is Coming

    The Robot Butt Staff
    24 Oct 2014 | 7:07 am
    You open your eyes and you’re on a desolate moor. Fog rolls over the hills like the blood coming down the halls from the elevator in that one scene from The Shining. You hear a scream that sounds like it may have come from another dimension, hell, another planet, or something else entirely. You’re scared.Blink, and now you’re lying in a graveyard that looks like it hasn’t seen foot traffic since the first release of Night of the Living Dead. Of course there’s a full moon hanging dangerously low in the sky. A noise hits you from around a corner- was that the sound…
  • King Tut Still Got Laid More Than You

    Steve DiMatteo
    24 Oct 2014 | 4:49 am
    As we are now finding out, King Tutankhamun sure didn’t have a lot going for him physically. According to a recent “virtual autopsy,” comprised of more than 2,000 computer scans, and a genetic analysis of Tut’s family, he had a whole mess of problems, including large, girlish hips, a club foot and buck teeth.And to make matters worse, instead of being the vaunted chariot racer that history has suggested, Tut could only move around with the help of a walking stick.There’s an explanation for his unfortunate appearance, too: Tut’s parents were most definitely…
  • Let’s Talk About Gamergate

    Tim Gaydos
    23 Oct 2014 | 11:33 am
    By this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if your aunt who calls all video game devices “The Game Boy” has heard of Gamergate. Since it started back in August, the “movement” and talk of the movement has taken on a life of its own. For those who aren’t aware of the details, this here is a pretty nice summary.But the abridged version is this: indie game developer Zoe Quinn’s ex posted blog entries alleging that Quinn had cheated on him with five guys, specifically guys in game journalism. Thus a conspiracy took hold that Quinn essentially slept her way to success, trading sex for…
  • Excellent Rap Lyrics, Volume VI: Redfoo Knows Something About Booties That We Don’t

    Steve DiMatteo
    22 Oct 2014 | 6:24 am
    Did you know that Ice Cube isn’t just doing Coors Light commercials these days? Apparently, he’s still rapping, and he has a song called “Drop Girl,” which features Redfoo and 2 Chainz, who appears to be lobbying pretty damn hard for the award of Worst Rapper Alive.In the song, Redfoo’s verse gets things started, and it includes this gem:“Ayy, I can’t hear you talking to me /Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to the booty”So if Redfoo is talking to a butt, there are two possibilities as to why: he’s either out of his mind, or…
 
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    Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News

  • Turnip For What?

    Cactopia
    15 Oct 2014 | 1:59 am
    I’m sorry, can someone please explain what “Turnip For What?” means? Michelle Obama send the nation a cryptic message. What could it mean? The post Turnip For What? appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • Random Crap That Makes Me Laugh

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:47 pm
    Here are a bunch of random images I’ve been holding on to. No real category, just funny crap that makes me laugh The post Random Crap That Makes Me Laugh appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • !!RENEGADE!! – A Short Film

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 6:05 pm
    Adventure, Comedy, Romance, !!RENEGADE!! I think I was about 10 seconds into this trailer when I knew I would be watching this a few times over. I hate to compare new films to older ones but it definitely had that campy feel of Army of Darkness combined with a little Princess Bride, but still has it’s own style within the pulp genre. Thanks to Michael Cavanaugh for sending this over, it made me want to run outside in my boxers and yell !!RENEGADE!! !!RENEGADE!! from michael cavanaugh on Vimeo. Related articles across the web !!RENEGADE!! – ACTION, ADVENTURE, ROMANCE all here for…
  • Funny Yet Terrifying Scarecrow Prank

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:13 pm
    How could this cute and silly scarecrow prank scare people so bad? Under that mask is one terrifying scarecrow! The post Funny Yet Terrifying Scarecrow Prank appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
  • Awesome Reasons To Break Up With Someone

    Cactopia
    14 Oct 2014 | 12:04 pm
    Breakups that were for funny reasons We’ve all been with that person who seemed perfect until one little thing set us off and you knew there was no way you could spend the rest of your life with them. If you want to feel completely normal, check out some reasons other people have ended a relationship. The post Awesome Reasons To Break Up With Someone appeared first on Cactopia Viral Video, Photos, Quotes & Funny News.
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    Exaggerated Reality

  • Homemade Choose-Your-Own-Adventures — Read mine, and die eating cereal

    Exaggerated Reality
    20 Oct 2014 | 9:21 am
    On the topic of terrible foods, I made my own (humorous) Choose-Your-Own-Adventure for my brother on his birthday, and if you choose the wrong breakfast to eat you may die. You can click here to read it.  On a similar note, some time late last year I started a similar project with my younger brother Caleb. However, this […]
  • Penance for our Sins

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Oct 2014 | 8:45 am
    You might be surprised to see a post titled “Penance for our Sins” after my post the other day where I mentioned I didn’t want to write posts  about depressing life problems. Never fear. This post is only about lunch. Yes, lunch. We had a lot of leftovers from a party we recently hosted and a good portion of them […]
  • I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it

    Exaggerated Reality
    15 Oct 2014 | 5:47 am
    Yes. I started to write a post about procrastination, but I never finished it. (No, not this one) It sounds like the start (and finish) of a dumb joke, but it’s true. I have photographic evidence. As you can see, I started the post in 2012. That’s over two years of procrastination. Why didn’t I ever finish it? All […]
  • Marie Fishing

    Exaggerated Reality
    18 Aug 2014 | 9:20 am
    Colorized and restored in photoshop.
  • Website Design: Arcade Cabinet

    Exaggerated Reality
    11 Jun 2014 | 1:36 pm
    Designed this website for a friend using Photoshop.   I’ve made a few minor changes since, but for the most part it’s finished.
 
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    Pranks - WTFisdit

  • Hopa Online Casino

    admin
    25 Oct 2014 | 5:11 am
    Hopa Online Casino making 1300 euro with 12 euro in a Slots game at hopa.com, Epic Fail because it was Fun Money, I’ll post a new one if i Hit the jackpot with real money. (If no video shows up, It was a second fail) If you want to try out yourself here’s a link :  Hopa  
  • Everything Wrong With Oculus

    admin
    23 Oct 2014 | 7:28 am
    Oculus. Apparently it’s a scary word. Which does not mean mirrors. But… whatever. Sins! Next week: One more classic horror film, and an M. Night joint. Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie’s sins do YOU want to see recounted? Tweet us: http://twitter.com/cinemasinsTumble us: http://cinema-sins.tumblr.comCall us: 405-459-7466Reddit with us: http://reddit.com/r/cinemasins
  • BASE Jumping Off Tight Rope | The Great Escape

    admin
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:00 am
    These dare-devils decide to base jump off a trapeze line attached to some rocks while in South Africa. Would you ever do this? SUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:BASE Jump Hits Wall: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l3FX_xxjuECar Drives Backwards On Highway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h30XoghuHRg JukinVideo is the leading viral video…
  • Suzuki Race Car Crash at Nurbugring | Bad Turn

    admin
    22 Oct 2014 | 3:00 pm
    While racing in Nurburgring, Germany this Suzuki race car driver suddenly spins out of control!Original Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeOACUlRmrU" target="_blank" rel=”nofollow”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeOACUlRmrUSUBSCRIBE for awesome videos every day!: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoLIKE us on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoFBFOLLOW us on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoTwitterShort vids on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoInstagramShorter vids on VINE: http://bit.ly/JukinVideoVineWHAT TO WATCH NEXT:Epic Slow Motion Car Drifting:…
  • TALKING TO THE DEAD PRANK!

    admin
    22 Oct 2014 | 1:17 pm
    I freaked people out by using THEIR OWN cell phone to communicate with ghosts.SUBSCRIBE!► http://bit.ly/JoinValeNationZombie Phone Prank with Madysyn!► http://youtu.be/EfMBYuu6dDUEVP Effect created by Alan Rorrison End Slate Bottom Link►http://youtu.be/EfMBYuu6dDU Get Pooters► http://bit.ly/originalpooterCheck out my website!►http://jackvale.com CONNECT WITH ME!Facebook► http://bit.ly/officaljackvaleInstagram► http://bit.ly/13kPTFmTwitter► http://bit.ly/18buhi5Vine► Jack Vale
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    Chronic Verve

  • The Most hilarious Way to Open a Pomegranate

    Brian Hayden
    24 Oct 2014 | 8:27 pm
    Colton Snow's first expose in what can only be named, The Colton Chronicles. He tackles a pomegranate with Chef Sage.
  • 4 Wrong Ways to Handle your Breakup

    Brian Hayden
    24 Oct 2014 | 2:54 pm
    We've all been there. Whether you've done the breaking upping, or that cruel ax came down on your neck, it's uncomfortable for both parties. For the most part we've all walked away with only some tears, 4 empty tubs of chocolate mint Haagen Daaz, and 3 seasons of Breaking Bad caught up on. Which isn't so bad when you consider you could have been in one of these situations....4.) Gerbil Genocide is Freakishly CommonGerbils. No one really hates gerbils, but can anyone really like them? They kind of lie in that grey area between a goldfish and a bunny. You're just not sure if you should really…
  • 4 Absurd Diets that Probably Harm You

    Brian Hayden
    22 Oct 2014 | 12:18 pm
    I'll be the first to admit that I can overdo it when it comes to food. Every buffet becomes challenge, every plate is plentiful, and every breakfast at McDonald's uses up my paycheque for the month (I worship the egg mcmuffin).  However somehow the universe has blessed me with not being completely morbidly obese, when I totally should be. However even if I was, even if I was one egg mcmuffin away from entering into a sweet, blissful McComa, these diets are still the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. 4.) The hCG DiethCG might sound familiar and/or horrifying. If it sounds…
  • The VerveCast - Episode 1

    Brian Hayden
    21 Oct 2014 | 10:45 pm
    Episode 1 - Toxic Skulls, Stumbly Toddlers, and Serial PornersThe maiden episode of The VerveCast is out! Grab a drink with us and talk about the weird, and funny happenings going on in the interwebs this week. We cover hover boards, drunk cats, hot Uber girls and the anti-porn crusade! Cheers!
  • 4 Homemade Chemical Reactions for Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness

    Brian Hayden
    19 Oct 2014 | 11:53 am
    4 Homemade Chemical Reactions for Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness(and less extreme scenarios)                DISCLAIMER: The following article lists several chemical reactions we do not condone you trying. Don't do it.            If you’re like me, (and you probably aren’t) then you’re constantly thinking about survival in the case of a zombie apocalypse. Maybe I’ve watched too much of The Walking Dead in my time, but a badass with a sword and an angsty Asian in SWAT gear just aren’t…
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    Life With Prune Juice...

  • You Won’t Believe What These Poor Chickens Have to Go Through…

    FredAcker
    25 Oct 2014 | 6:52 pm
    This is an OUTRAGE!!!! Where the hell are the PITA eating people when you need them? A friend brought this to my attention, and I have now been exposed to a lifetime of images of rednecks molesting poor little defensless chickens by shoving beer cans up their asses and then eating them for dinner. Who? I . . .
  • A Rookie Rant

    FredAcker
    21 Oct 2014 | 7:57 pm
    Umafugumma… This is my life! Up at 1am to drive. Done at noon. Rookie finally rolls out of bed (actually he sort crawled out gasping for breath because I turned the truck off in 80 degrees and sunshine) at 1pm and we’re back on the road by 1:45pm. It takes this kid longer to get . . .
  • The Peanuts Apocalypse

    FredAcker
    16 Oct 2014 | 3:19 am
    It’s the Walking Dead Charlie Brown! (followed by “Talking ‘Nuts”) @nerdist @AMCTalkingDead @WalkingDead_AMC pic.twitter.com/NZl6ImYglp — Kat the Hobo (@HoboRobot) October 16, 2014
  • I Wrote a Book – Sort Of

    FredAcker
    13 Oct 2014 | 1:44 am
    A few months back I’d written a short long story about a bicycle trip in Northern NJ and folks loved it. So I added to it, edited it, rewrote it and basically did the whole thing over again. It’s now available for download. Its a Bicycle Buyers Guide for Adults – but it’s not really. . . .
  • It’s Hot and Wet, But this Masochist Whips Out His 20 Inches, Pulls on Some Protection and Rides Her Hard

    FredAcker
    12 Oct 2014 | 6:20 pm
    I’d been feeling a little down the last few day, which is very out of sorts for me. It was nothing serious, just a bunch of crap piled up with no place to store it. Normally, when I’m feeling the blues, I can just hunker down with some Suicidal Tendencies (The band, not the end . . .
 
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